The Sentinella Axarquia Edition January 2018

The Sentinella Axarquia Edition No 160

www.thesentinella.com

January 18

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m Fro Ed... the So here we all are in 2018, and we would like to wish one and all a very happy and prosperous New Year.

As the song goes: “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me, and I’m feeling good...”

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Editor: Kami Knight info@thesentinella.com Sales: 664 210 468 / 664 689 138 sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

It’s time for us all to start afresh and welcome 2018 with open arms; time for us all to think about — and act upon — those dreaded New Year’s resolutions, deciding how on earth we are going to keep up with them. I bet we’ll all make the same old ones: lose weight, stop smoking, drink less, spend less, save more, etc etc...

Well, my New Year’s resolution is to resurrect my humorous side. Over the past couple of years I think I’ve become more than a little “moany” at times, but those who know me will realise that I do possess a funny side and I have resolved that it’s time to bring that trait back. I have even consulted a good friend to give me some “how to be funny” lessons.

What on earth are these, I hear you ask yourself! Well, let me explain. They are classes where you go in order to listen to a group of people talking — it usually takes place in a local bar. You stand away from the crowd and listen out for the “funny” person among them. You analyse what they have said, consider the impact their words have had and think how many other people laughed at what was said. I have learned there is a fine line between what is genuinely funny and what is just plain stupid, racist or sexist — not to mention all the other countless “...ists” that are flying around in this lovely PC world we inhabit nowadays! Anyway enough of all that funny stuff… boom boom!

Time to move on to some important happenings in 2018...

Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

Such as did you know it’s National Hug Day or National Hugging Day on 21st January? An annual event dedicated to hugging. It was

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Strange News first celebrated in 1986 in Clio, Michigan, USA. The main aim of the day is to encourage everyone to hug more often and you will also receive one in return. So laugh at my jokes on that day and you may just get lucky! :) At The Sentinella we believe in the feelgood factor and we try hard each and every month to deliver that to you. What is life all about if you can’t let your hair down and enjoy a slice of humour from time to time? Besides, laughing is actually good for you. Did you know that a good chuckle can kill off illness?

It also makes you shine, helps you look younger and all sorts of other beauties. So in 2018, join me and make that your New Year resolution too. Of course, you can kickstart your new humorous self by picking up the funniest little magazine in Axarquia — ‘The Sentinella’!

Thought of the month The Happiest Editorials :) Sentinella Axarquia Entertaining Naughty!

The Best Interesting Naughty!!

Exceptional Leader Little Awesome

Kami Knight

The New Editor (of the original little mag)!

Index Countries of the World..........................Page 16 Urban Dictionary...................................Page 52 Saucy Postcards.................................Page 55 Useless Facts.....................................Page 56 Fruit & Vegetable Facts..................... Page 76 Faceless.............................................Page 77 Film Review........................................Page 80 Where’s Waldo...................................Page 94 Information........................................Page 102 Jokes.................................................Page 104 Puzzle Pages....................................Page 106 Horoscopes.......................................Page 110

Purple tears A Canadian model who ended up crying purple tears after a botched tattoo job says she is now at risk of losing her eye completely.

Catt Gallinger’s boyfriend gave her the tattoo on her eyeball but it very quickly became clear that something had gone wrong. She’s now revealed on Instagram that she had surgery. She also said: ‘If this doesn’t work, my cornea is way too thin and at high risk of rupturing. If it does rupture before, during or afterwards, I lose my eye.’

Ottawa-based Catt said that the decision to get the tattoo was a ‘massive mistake’ and she is facing a long recovery from the procedure. At one point it appeared as though she was crying purple tears as residue escaped. She said that she got the tattoo so that she would ‘feel more at home’ in her body, but now she’s warning others of the dangers and urging them to do research. ‘As it stands I will have to see a specialist and am at risk of being blind if it doesn’t get corrected,’ she said.

Gallstone fortune A Chinese villager who found a pig’s gallstone is set to become a millionaire after experts valued it at nearly half a million pounds.

Bo Chunlou, 51, found the 4-inch long, 2.7inch wide object — known as a ‘bezoar’ — when he slaughtered an eight-year-old sow on his farm in Ju County in Rizhao City in China’s eastern Shandong Province. The 550lb pig had the large gallstone inside her gall bladder, which the villager’s neighbours told him made it of great medicinal value. At first dubious, Bo and his son Bo Mingxue, 26, eventually travelled to the major port city of Shanghai, where they spent £4,500 (40,000 RMB) getting an appraisal from experts.

The bezoar is a mass comprised of hair and other indigestible materials usually found in an animal’s gastro-intestinal system.

Practitioners of traditional Chinese medicine call them ‘Pig Treasure’ and believe products made from the bezoar can remove toxins from the body, making it a rare and valuable substance to have. Bezoars were used as a ‘magical medicine’ in England during the 1600s. They continue to be used in Chinese medicine today.

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Welcome To 2018!!!!

Whilst here in Spain we were all welcoming in the New Year at midnight some countries were already in full swing of their celebrations whilst other countries had to wait a few hours more Sat 11:00 - Tonga Sat 12:00 - New Zealand Sat 14:00 - 16:15 - Australia Sat 16:00 - Japan & South Korea Sat 16:30 - North Korea Sat 17:00 - China, Philippines, Singapore Sat 18:00 - Nearly all of Indonesia Sat 18:30 - Myanmar and Cocos Islands Sat 19:00 - Bangladesh Sat 19:15 - Nepal Sat 19:30 - India and Sri Lanka Sat 20:00 - Pakistan Sat 20:30 - Afghanistan Sat 21:00 - Azerbaijan Sat 21:30 - Iran Sat 22:00 - Moscow/Russia Sat 23:00 - Greece Sun 00:00 - Germany/Spain

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Sun 01:00 - United Kingdom Sun 03:00 - 04:00 - Brazil Sun 04:00 - Argentina, Paraguay Sun 04:30-09:00 - USA, Canada Sun 10:00 - Alaska Sun 11:00 - Hawaii Sun 12:00 - American Samoa Sun 13:00 - US outlying islands (Baker Island, Howland Island etc) Happy New Year to everyone around the world!!

WISHING EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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Rashid, his family & staff would like to wish their customers a WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!!

Menu del Dia - 6.95€ (Vegetarian 6.50€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm - 3 courses (including vegetarian) Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 10.50€ Children under 10 - 5€ / 1pm - 4pm

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De Cotta Law Modifying a court order on residence or maintenance When the Court grants an order in family proceedings for separation, divorce or custody, the financial, housing and visits will be considered at the time the order is made.

As the children get older some of the circumstances may have changed, and those originally agreed by the parties, or decided upon by the Judge, become less appropriate for the parents and children.

In these cases it is possible to ask the Court to modify the decision. Spanish Courts have established the following prerequisites in order to modify any of the measures: • That a significant change of circumstances has come about since the time that the original measures were adopted.

• That such a change is lasting and is expected to be permanent.

• That the change was not caused singularly by the party applying for the measures to be modified.

• That the circumstances were unforeseeable at the time that the measures were adopted.

In summary, what the Courts require is notification that a major change has come about in one or both of the parties' circumstances, affecting the compliance with the Court decision.

Another modification might be to the residence of the children where one of the parents disagrees. In such cases, the Courts must weigh up the differing interests and ensure they safeguard the children's relationship with both parents. The Court will require proof of the reasons why a change of residence would be of benefit to the child.

For a confidential meeting or advice, please contact us on 952 527 014 or email family@decottalaw.net See main advert opposite

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TAJ MAHAL INDIAN RESTAURANT Ali, his family and staff would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year!!

From 23rd - 31st, we will be serving our normal menu - No Buffet or Special menu However Bookings are essential on New Year’s Eve!!

Eat as much as you like!

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Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch)

Poppadam & Pickles & a choice of starters Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegetable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Tikka Chioce of Bread or Rice Takeaways available FREE Pappadam with Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm Free Pappadam & pickle Mango Chutney & Pickle 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry with takeaways Tray with all meals €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

Opening Hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito Antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731 www.restaurantetajmahal.co

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New Year Facts - Happy 2018 and New York City.

Forty-five percent of Americans make New Year's resolutions. The top resolutions are: to lose weight, get organised, to spend less and save more, to stay fit and healthy, and to quit smoking. While nearly half of all Americans make resolutions, 25 percent of them give up on their resolutions by the second week of January.

New Year's is the time when many people traditionally make resolutions to break bad habits or start good ones.

"Auld Lang Syne" is traditionally sung at midnight on New Year's Eve. It was written by Scottish poet Robert Burns in 1788. He may have based it on a folk song. The words auld lang syne mean "times gone by".

United States’ top three destinations to see in the New Year are: Las Vegas, Disney World

To ensure a year of good luck, firecrackers and noisemakers became tradition in order to scare away any remaining evil spirits and to ensure a brand new start.

In Italy, people wear red underwear on New Year’s Day to bring good luck all year long.

The tradition dates back to medieval times.

The earliest known New Year celebrations were in Mesopotamia and date back to 2000 BC. 22% of Americans admit to falling asleep before midnight at New Year’s Eve.

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New Year Facts - Happy 2018 The first New Year was celebrated 4,000 years by the ancient Babylonians.

More vehicles are stolen on New Year’s Day than any other holiday, statistics from the National Insurance Crime Bureau revealed.

Many people see in New Year's by popping open a bottle of champagne. Americans drink close to 360 million glasses of sparkling wine during this time. The bubbly stuff dates back to the 17th century, when the cork was invented.

About 1 million people gather in New York City's Times Square to watch the ball drop.

The Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop came about because of a ban on fireworks.

The first ball in 1907 was 700 pounds and was lit with 100 25-watt lights. The current ball puts the old one to shame (thanks to technology). Today, it is covered in 2,688 crystals, is lit by 32,000 LED lights, weighs 11,875 pounds and is 12 feet in diameter.

The tradition has continued in Times Square,

except for in 1942 and 1943. The ball was not lowered because of wartime restrictions.

2,000 pounds (907kg) of confetti are dropped on the crowd in Times Square at midnight.

The early Romans used March 1 as New Year's Day. Other cultures used the autumn equinox or the winter solstice to mark the new year.

TAJ MAHAL

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Masood, his family and team would like to wish everyone a Wonderful New Year!

Open everyday 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 C t r a N a c i o n a l 3 4 0 ( n e x t t o p o s t o f f i c e ) To r r o x C o s t a Tel: 95 253 4972 / 63 2 6 3 7 4 7 0

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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T r sca

rld wo in he land e... t nd is lif rourgest wild r ou h la r its 0 infourt ed fo 1 1 er he am mb s t d f Nu list i ld an A-Ze wor th

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ga

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Interesting Facts... The Malagasy are thought to be descendants of Africans and Indonesians who settled on the island more than 2,000 years ago.

After sometimes harsh French colonial rule, which included the bloody suppression of an uprising in 1947, Madagascar gained independence in 1960.

Because of its isolation most of its mammals, half its birds, and most of its plants exist nowhere else on earth.

Madagascar has lost more than 80% of its original forest land since humans arrived on this place about two thousand years ago.

Both men and women wear the same clothing in Madagascar called lamba.

Madagascar has no tigers, zebras, giraffes or hippopotamuses, as portrayed in the famous Hollywood movie, Madagascar.

The uniqueness of Madagascar’s biodiversity rightly gives it a name – The Eighth Continent of the World.

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re-open early March with the launch of my spring collection Calle Pizarras, Vinuela (next to Cajamar Bank)

Telephone: 658 418 093

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Dry January.. What Is It? Dry January is an official event, promoted

by Alcohol Concern, where people challenge themselves to refrain from drinking alcohol for one month and help to raise money for the charity. The idea of Dry January isn’t to turn people teetotal but to get them thinking about drinking and to encourage them to drink less Reasons to do Dry January 1. You will get a far better sleep If you’re fed up of feeling exhausted all the time, there’s a way to improve it drastically – let your body have a few nights off from processing all your bevs. You’ll soon start waking up and jumping out of bed, instead of wishing away the alarm clock.

2. Get glowing skin Alcohol dehydrates the skin and reduces skin’s elasticity. Swap wine for water and notice the difference.

3. No more missing Saturday or Sunday’s in bed with that dreaded hangover Enjoy your weekends again free from a hangover. Wake up extra early with that new found energy and actually enjoy doing things at the weekend instead of using them to recover from the hangover.

4. Save money Spending €25 a week on alcohol will save you €1,300 by the end of the year. If you think about it as drinking a holiday for you and your family every year, that’s without the extra add-ons, the cabs, kebabs, lost phones, wallets etc.. Instead treat yourself to something nice.

5. Lose weight quicker The calories in alcohol are high, because alcohol is made from sugar or starch, it contains lots of calories – seven calories a gram in fact, almost as many as pure fat!

6. Reduce the risk of health problems Excess alcohol raises the risk of heart disease, stroke, liver disease, depression, dementia and cancer of the mouth, throat, stomach, liver and breast.

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All major debit and credit cards accepted

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When The Clock Strikes Midnight On New Years Eve Traditions around the world when the clock strikes midnight

when they affectionately shatter them against the doors of all their friends and family.

1. Stuff twelve grapes in your mouth (Spain) If you are living in Spain, which most of us reading this are, then we would have done just this. One grape for every month of the year and it will bring you good luck, manage 12 and you will have a year of good luck.

5. Round Everything (Phillippines) In the Philippines it’s all about the cash. They believe that everything should be round so as to represent coins and bring wealth. Round food, round clothes, as long as it’s round.

2. Burn Something (Ecuador) Families in Ecuador burn scarecrows every year on New Year's Eve. It's a symbol of diminishing the negativity of last year. They also burn photographs from the last year. All in the name of good fortune.

3. Smash Things Against a Wall (Ireland) The Irish find that banging on doors and walls of their houses with bread chases the bad luck out of the house and invites the good spirits in.

4. Shatter Plates (Denmark) In Denmark they save all of their unused dishes and plates until the 31st of December

6. Ice Cream (Switzerland) In Switzerland they celebrate the New Year by dropping ice cream on the floor.

7. Coin Tossing (Romania) In Romania they throw their spare coins into the river to get good luck.

8. Baked Coins (Bolivia) In Bolivia coins are baked into sweets and whoever finds the coins has good luck for the next year.

9. Chair Jumping (Denmark) In Denmark people climb on top of chairs and literally “jump” into the New Year to bring good luck.

Your specialists on the Axarquia Coast The Suisse Home Team wish you a very Happy New Year!!

Ref. SH981

Beautiful property in Vélez-Málaga, Real Alto, with plot of 4,826m2 and build of 353m2. Possibility to make a Bed and Breakfast. In all has 5 bedrooms, 1 office, 5 bathrooms, 1 toilet.

The main house: Nice big terrace with some sea views, 2 big living rooms with chimney, 1 independant kitchen with a patio, 1 main bedroom with bathroom, 1 toilet, 1 office.

House/storeroom: 3 rooms and with possibility to make an apartment of 83m2. 4 Studios with 4 bathrooms with possibility for rentals. Swimming pool and Sauna, stable for 2 horses, more than 100 Mango trees. It remains furnished, has track of 3.2km.

350,000€ C / Infante 23, Edif. Faro 1, bajo, 29740 Torre del Mar, Málaga, España Tel./Fax. 0034 / 952 54 70 76 / 658 93 31 87 e-mail: info@suissehome.com www.suissehome.com

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New Year Poem On New Year’s Day

By Kenn Nesbitt On New Year’s Day a year ago, I started off the year by making resolutions that were probably severe.

I said I’d save my money, as this seemed so very wise.

I vowed I would improve my health.

I swore I’d exercise.

I stated I would do my homework every single day.

I’d brush my teeth religiously to ward off tooth decay.

I’d eat my fruits and vegetables and keep my bedroom clean.

I’d treat my sister kindly though she’s often very mean.

My resolutions lasted me about a half a day.

I promised I would keep them but I broke them anyway.

So now I’m fat and penniless.

My homework’s overdue.

My sister’s mad. My teeth are bad.

My room is messy too.

And yet I think I may have found the best of all solutions, and this year I’ve resolved to not make ANY resolutions.

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THE TOWN FRIER Traditional Fish & Chips take away Mick and Andrea welcome you!

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Estate Agents!

Quick Reference Page Call: 664 210 468 or email: sales@thesentinella.com to reserve your box

Happy Ne From Torro Deutsche Bäckerei German Bakery

Opening Hours: Monday - Saturday 7.30am - 1pm Sundays & Bank Holidays 8am - 11am

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Avda. America, Blq 85, Local 2, TORROX COSTA

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Monday

New Year orrox Costa

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Karaoke Thursdays from 9pm Check out facebook for Live Music and Parties Open Mon - Sat 3pm - 10pm Avda. America, Rear of Blq 89, Torrox Costa

Market Lighthouse

Tel: 952 967 358

Beauty Therapy Complementary Therapy

TORROX COSTA Unisex Professional hairdresser with experience in two of the most top named hair salons in Nerja Erica has now opened her own salon in Torrox Costa!!! Erica Villegas. Erica will give you a very warm welcome and is fluent in English and is Spanish speaking. Facebook: Erica Villegas Estilistas Torrox Costa/E-mail: ericavill@hotmail.com C/Centro Internacional - Bq77-nr.

2. Call: 610 876 127 The German Bakery have been 10 years in Torrox. They offer a wide range of products eg: German bread, rolls, pasteries, cakes, sandwiches, sweet snacks & fresh coffee. The bakery offers daily fresh bread & bakery products. Orders can be placed by phone, email or sms. Be prepared for Birthdays and special occasion cakes. Special orders can be made as late as two days notice. Our products are made from the finest of ingredients which allows you to enjoy a healthy balanced diet. We only use natural products without flavouring or additivies. We have something for everyone, & special rates for events and functions.

Raza Hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more info call: 952 52 5417, 646 75 24 63, or email: info@razahotel.com or visit the www.razahotel.com Fischhaus - Nordsee Fish Deli Weekly fresh deliveries from the North Sea Coast. Smoked fish from our own Smokehouse in Torrox. Salmon breakfast every day from 10am. Open Mon - Fri 10am - 6.30pm and closed Saturday and Sunday. Kitchen open until 6.30pm. Tel: 637 041 155 to find out more.

Contact Lewis Insurance Services for reputable buildings & contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans, cars bought & sold, call Mark on 653 322 392 Nandos - Tasca The bar with everything! Mondays from 8pm Jam Session. Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays BBQ from 6pm - 8.30pm.Thursdays Karaoke from 9pm. They have Live Music events and different kinds of parties. They are located around the back of Blq. 89 in Avda. America Torrox Costa Call: 952 96 73 58 Calzados Pradas for real leather shoes made in Spain! Avd. El Faro No. 2. Call: 609 526 912 or email: calzadospradastorrox@gmail.com A great Nepali and Indian Restaurant in Torrox Costa, Buddha House. A modern restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specials. Closed on Monday. Ctra. El Penoncillo 11, Torrox Costa. See FB page Buddhahouse Torrox Costa.

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Want a complete set of glasses from just 49€ including test & measurements?

Come to Optica Funes and see!! They are located in Avenida Garcia Penalver,Edf. 79, Local 12, TORROX COSTA opposite the main bus station. Call: 952 000 717 for more information Rebeccah Curtis Wellbeing Centre Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa. Open Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm. Tel: 952 53 01 22 & 651 956 284 Have you been to Caribe on the Paseo Maritimo, a fantastic location with uninterrupted views of the Mediterranean? Enjoy delicious food with menu del Dia 7.50€-2 courses or 9.50€-3 courses includes a drink per person (beer, wine or soft drink. They have a special offer homemade cakes & a coffee-3€ & fantastic homemade gateaus & a new 3 chocolate gateau to enjoy, great with a delicious coffee. Fresh fish cooked Andalucían style, pizzas, value meals such as Pinchitos de Cerdo de Pollo only 5.50€. Paella is available from 1.30pm everyday (pre-orders only), includes a soft drink or small beer or glass of wine, bread, Alioli. Every Monday they have Special Ukrainian Soup just 6.50€. Takeaway-available. Caribe can even cater for weddings & birthday parties with celebratory cakes made to order. Call in to find out more.

Happy Home Property Rental and Sales, based in Torrox/Competa but covering the Axarquia area are specialists in long term rentals and sales. With a large database of clients if you have a property to rent or sell we would really like to here from you! happyhomerentals78@gmail.com Tel: Christina 0034 645 864 866 or Laura 0034 652 447 854 FB: Happy Homes Rentals Yo SoY Cafe Bar in Avenida Garci Penalver, Blq, 77 offer a wonderful ‘All you can eat breakfast buffet’, Every first and third Sunday of the month. Also serving a variety of burgers including, chicken, beef or vegetarian. “Pimp your Burger”.

Fischhaus-Nordsee

Fish Deli - Smokehouse - Restaurant wSmoked Fish from our own Smokehouse in Torrox wWe smoke Eel, Halibut, Mackerel, Salmon, Trout, Gilthead, Butterfish & much more

wHerring - Matie - North Sea Crab Shrimps - Fresh Fish Salads & Cocktails and more

Paseo Maritimo, Avda. America, Blq. 89, TORROX COSTA Tel: 637 041 155 www.fischhaus-nordsee.com

Monday - Friday 10.00am - 6.30pm Saturday & Sunday Closed

wSmoked haddock - pre-order

Welcome to Buddha House, a modern Nepali & Indian restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specialities Ctra El Peñoncillo 11, Torrox Costa (Easy Parking in front) Torrox Costa Open 12:30 - 15:30 and 18:30 - 23:30 (Closed Monday lunch) 10% discount on takeaways Tel: 952 53 09 21 / 602 817 658 Email: buddhahouse40@gmail.com Buddhahouse Torrox Costa

CLíNICA VETERINARIA TORROX Emergencies: Mob: 657 582 225 NEW IN TORROX COSTA

El Peñoncillo Tel: 952 532 587 Consultancy X-Rays Operating Room Hospital Shop Grooming Training Home Visits Collection Service Clinica Veterinaria La Caleta Avda. Andalucia 126 Tel: 952 55 10 10 Clinica Veterinaria Algarrobo Costa Avda. Andalucia Local 8 Tel: 952 51 18 21

El Peñoncillo Torrox Costa

Clinica Veterinaria Competa Avda. de Torrox Tel: 952 55 33 60 Clinica Veterinaria Puente don Manuel Edif. Alzabel, Bajo 1 Tel: 951 16 76 66

Clinica Veterinaria

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Puns For Educated People Are you educated?

can’t put it down.

1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.

6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.

2. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.

3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time consuming.

7. It’s not that the man couldn’t juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

8. So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘apocalypse’? It’s not the end of the world.

9. Police were called to the daycare centre. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.

10. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

11. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.

4. A man tried at assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!

5. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I

12. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

13. I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.

TK’s

Laguna Beach

Torrox Costa

Bar y Restaurante Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu - Specialising in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken - Traditional Sunday Lunch Homemade Tapas available every day changing daily - 1â‚Ź

SPECIAL!! (pre-order only)

Pork Knuckles

10am - 3pm / 6pm - Late / Thurs & Fri Special menus Sunday 1pm - 5pm (bookings advisable) Closed Wednesday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

Tel: 642 598 217

All you can eat buffet every Sunday from 1pm - 4pm Live music every Saturday from 8.30pm Open everyday from 8am - Midnight.

Avd Miguel De Cervante, Torrox Park Tel: 687 411 092

CAFE SPORTS BAR LA BODEGA STOP PRESS!

Sunday Lunch Roast Beef, Gammon or Chicken ONLY 6.50€!!!

Large Cod, Chips & Peas all day only 5€!!

Live Sports on 3 screens Thursday Quiz Night at 8:30pm MINI BOCADILLOS with crisps - eat in or take away from 11am Thurs 2nd main filling FREE

ONLY

Mon & Weds Buy 2 get 1 FREE

1€ Open Mon - Fri 11am - Late Sat & Sun 12 noon - Late

Located behind Tourist Information Office/Library

Torrox Costa

Tel: 617 506 550

The leading brand in Infrared Heating for more than 12 years in Spain Heat up your home in a healthy and economical way! * Special storage material keeps running times low * White panels from 250 to 1600 Watt in 17 sizes * Huge product range: mirror, picture, glass, portable, etc. * Long operating distance * 7.5 years vendor warranty

Mirror heater with towel drying function

Contact us or visit the exhibition at our shop: Redwell, Dipl.- Ing. Svend Scharler, Avd. el Faro Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa Phone: 952 539 742 Mobile: 606 423 869 sscharler@gmx.de - www.redwell.com

C S

Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician

Dr. Arielle Perkins Family Medicine

Your health partner

w w w w w w

Lda. Mª. Patrocinio Haro López

General Medicine Paediatrics Acupuncture Physiotherapy / Osteopathy Urologist and Traumatologist Other Specialists

Psychology

Dr. Guillermo Caleffa Ear Nose and Throat Doctor

Dr. Daniel Gaitán Cardiologist

We Speak English, German & French

Dr. Joaquin Mut

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08 Please call for more information or send an

e-mail: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com or info@clinicaeuropa.eu Visit our website: www.clinicaeuropa.eu

S w w w w w

Dental Surgery Cosmetic Dentistry Implantologist Surgery Complete Dental Clinic Modernisation International Standards of Sterilisation (as always)

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Dermatologist

Dr. Federico Merino Plastic surgery

General surgery Andalucian Surgical Institute

English Dentist: Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S. (univ. London) Harley St. Cosmetic Dentist of 25 yrs.

Free check up & 2nd opinion

Jose Antonio Gonzales Maxillofacial surgeon

Please call for more information or send an The best English/Spanish e-mail: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com Team for your dental health or info@clinicaeuropa.eu website: www.clinicaeuropa.eu

Bianca Bojahr

50

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No Kid, Kid or Kids?

Have you got a kid, why have you got a kid, why haven’t you got a kid, do you want a kid, you need a kid!

Why did you have a baby when you were young?

I suppose you did that to avoid getting a proper job and working.. Selfish!

Why did you have a baby when you were older?

You chose to be independent and have a career first. Selfish!

Why are you one of those women who have kids then bounce straight back into shape?

You think of yourself only, you should be spending bonding time with your newborn, not dieting. Selfish!

Why are you one of those women who have kids and let themselves go?

Very slobbish and lazy. Selfish!

Why have you only had one baby?

How can you possibly do that to a child?

Selfish!

Why have you had four children?

You can’t possibly give them all the attention that they need individually. Selfish!

Why do you not work?

You think it’s ok to just stay at home all day and not go out to work? Selfish!

Why are you a working mum?

You go out to work and leave your children with someone else. Selfish!

Oh and let’s not forget those women who don’t have kids. How selfish they are!!

HEATING - COOLING - SOLAR - HEAT PUMPS SALES - SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

ULTRA CLEAN

Apartment - Townhouse - Villa

IZZI&CAPELLI

Key holding - Laundry - Gardening - Meet & Greet

All aspects of Hair and Nail treatments plus a Brow Bar

CLEAN & CHANGEOVERS

Torre del Mar Pammy: 674 597 984

Torre del Mar

Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI

Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621

Rumours Hair & Beauty Puente don Manuel

Where style is created

Call: 951 232 881 Email: rumours@mail.com rumourshairsalon

WWW.THESENTINELLA.COM

Cta. Almeria 194, Benajarafe If you have a property to sell or would like to buy your dream home, please do not hesitate to visit us for details of how we can help!

952 436 781 / Mobile: 609 436 537 email: sa@axarquiaproperties.com

AS2995

85,000€ Cútar PRICE REDUCTION! Large family house with 5 bedrooms, in the Moorish village of Cútar

AS2996

68,000€ Cútar PRICE REDUCTION! 2 bed Cave-house in the Moorish village of Cútar

AS1768 59,500€ Colmenar PRICE REDUCTION! Detached country house situated in the beautiful natural park area of Colmenar

We wish all the readers of The Sentinella a Happy New Year!!

AS3210 80,000€ Benamargosa GREAT PROPERTY! 3 bedroom townhouse with wonderful views

AS2510 950,000€ AS3039 159,000€ Colmenar Vélez-Málaga GREAT PROPERTY! GREAT PROPERTY! 2 bed 2 bath Country Beautifully renovated house with covered enormous townhouse terrace, outdoor with interior courtyard, kitchen and small several terraces and casita / workshop balconies www.axarquiaproperties.com www.spanishpropertyapp.com

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an ar y b r U tion Dic

ang f sl o y

nar tio - N c i e d ses nlin phra o d rce and sou ords d w row

Neocon Neoconservative. Originally used to describe left-wingers who crossed the floor, neocons are on the authoritarian right, rather than the traditionally conservative libertarian right.

They tend to be very pro-war and adopt the mentality of "We're better than you and we know it."

Ac Narcissist A person with no soul. The only thing bigger than their inflated ego is the void that they demand others to fill.

Noice Beyond the boundaries and exceeding the limits of nice. Spoken with emphasis when describing something particularly awesome.

Nerd One whose IQ exceeds his weight.

Nemo Out of "All the fish in the sea" a " Nemo" is that one person your crushing on or chasing after.

Neo-Nazi A name given to people whos political ideal is akin to that of the German National Socialist (Nazi) party of the 1930's and 1940's.

Neo-Nazism can also be called White Nationalism. It appears in mainly North American and European countries. The cornerstone of the ideology is the want for these countries to be peopled by whites and support the exclusion of non-whites. It is usually supported by white working class people, especially those from mixed race areas.

Nick a common misunderstood person, that doesnt give a second thought to just about anything and acts on impulse 98% of the time.

Normal A word made up by this corrupt society so they could single out and attack those who are different.

Nympho Someone, normally female, that eats, breathes, & lives for sex. She dreams about it, often playing it over so much in her mind that something she has never tried can be exceptional the first time done with another person. She is insatiable & always ready to play but that does not always make her a slut or whore, for she can be picky in her selection.

Nut huggers Really tight jeans worn by a man.

Nutella God's favourite spreadable food, made by pixies in the magical land of yum.

Noodle When one drinks a small amount of alcohol and engages in wobbly activities. The drunkard must have a BMI of 12 or below, a tall and skinny frame, and a feeble skeleton.

When intoxicated the body muscles collapse and the noodling begins. This could include floundering to the ground, rolling around like an infant child, and making silly comments that can be so cringing it turns you sober.

Numb nut 1. Lacking intelligence.

2. Having no feeling in one's nut.

Numpty Scottish usage: Someone who (sometimes unwittingly) by speech or action demonstrates a lack of knowledge or misconception of a particular subject or situation to the amusement of others.

N00b A inexperienced and/or ignorant or unskilled person. Especially used in computer games.

Nothing Actually means "something," but is used when you don't feel like explaining.

Nuke 1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.

2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).

Happy New Year!!

Puente don Manuel

Dear Indian Palace Customers. We would like to inform you that we are going back to Help Yourself Buffet as before. We had a good response to the new buffet but most of our customers prefer the Help Yourself Buffet, so would like to apologise to those who liked the idea of eat as much as you like buffet.

Thank you very much for your opinions.

Sunday buffet menu will be posted on our Facebook page on a weekly basis.

Monday - Thursday 18:00 - 23:30 Friday, Saturday & Sunday 13:00 - 16:00 / 18:00 - 23:30

Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: indianpalacealcaucin@gmail.com www.indianpalacealcaucin.blogspot.com Madras Curry House

Indian Nepali Restaurant

Opening Shortly MADRAS CURRY HOUSE Indian Nepali Restaurant TORROX COSTA

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55

Saucy Postcards

TOTAL SATELLITE INSTALLATIONS WANT SATELLITE T.V CHANNELS? Have you lost BBC1, 2, 3, 4, ITV1, CH4, BBC News & BBC Radio ?

THEN HAVE IT BACK THROUGH SATELLITE To move your own dish and supply a new Digibox - ONE OFF PRICE €280 UK IPTV All UK channels including Sport & Films Catch Up TV - On Demand Movies 25€ per month

Call Phil or Nigel on: 629 556 266 Email: totalsat@gmx.com

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s s e l Usects Fa

use are ! y e h g ys t azin alwa ut am s b A

5. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

less

6. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

1. Statues in parks: If the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

2. The expression 'to get fired' comes from long ago Clans that wanted to get rid of unwanted people, so they would burn their houses instead of killing them, creating the term 'Got fired'.

7. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight in case of war or emergency, they could be used as airstrips.

8. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army. G.P. for 'General Purpose' vehicle.

3. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

9. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary, because when it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

4. Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

10. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Specialist in micropigmentation, also known as semipermanent makeup.

Micropigmentation is an aesthetic treatment to create a long-lasting eyeliner, lipliner or eyebrow definition. The technique is also used medically (“medical micropigmentation”) to recreate areas affected by a health condition or skin problem

Prices on consultation

Eve Taylor

Miembro de la Asociación Española de Micropigmentación

657 799 402 evelouisetaylor@gmail.com

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w w w w

Do you have experience in care, professionally or with a family member or friend?

We offer: w Above average market salary Industry leading employment packages w Paid holidays w Unrivalled 24/7 carer support Ongoing excellent training & development programme Subsidised flight costs and UK travel paid Induction training in LONDON or SPAIN Flexible shift patterns to support a good work/life balance such as 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off

Contact TRACY on: +34 951507423 / 622 047 351 or email: tracy.jackson@thegoodcaregroup.com

Keeping the vehicle in top condition is beneficial for all who travel in it.

Preserving the interior clean, purified and protected is simple with our sanitizing and deodorising ozone treatment.

ESTRELLA RENTALS Algarrobo Costa Block Montevideo, 3 Tel: 0034 952 511 209 Email: estrellarentweb@gmail.com www. estrellarent.com We speak English, German & Spanish

CAR RENTALS & HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 7 SEATER TAXI SERVICE CAR RENTALS

All range of cars: Basic, Medium, Automatic and 7 seater cars

Delivery & collection at Málaga airport or at your location

HOLIDAY APARTMENTS IN ALGARROBO COSTA BEACH

Sales I rentals I Management la Viñuela

For Sale

S2-294

Convenient 2 Bed Country House (82m² built, 2,000m² plot), 5 minute walk to the village la Viñuela. The accommodation comprises of a spacious living room, a lovely kitchen, 2 large bedrooms and a family bathroom. It also has a spacious terrace and lots of outside space, driveway, ample parking with wonderful views of the village and the mountains

Sales Price: 105,000€ (redUCed BY 15,000€!)

Sedella

For Sale

S2-378

Beautiful 2 Bed Village House (127m² built) recently reformed to a very high & modern standard but with traditional ambiance.

Accommodation: good-size lounge, separate sitting room, a fully-fitted kitchen with dining area, 2 double bedrooms and a spacious bathroom. Upstairs there is a lovely terrace with views across the village to the mountains

Sales Price: 109,950€ (NeW!) Puente don Manuel

For Sale

S3-447

Gorgeous 3 Bed 3 Bath Villa (145m² built, 390m² plot), quiet location, short walk to local amenities. Ground floor: entrance, fully-fitted kitchen, large living room, large conser vatory with dining & lounge areas, 2 bedrooms (main en-suite) and bathroom. lower Ground floor: large bedroom/living room with bathroom, laundry room and storage, variet y of terraces sunny and shaded, gardens & a kidney-shaped pool

Sales Price: 199,990€ (redUCed BY 30,000€!)

Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, (opposite bus station) Torre del MAr - Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

email: info@buyahomespain.com

Enquire about our next FREE Legal Clinic

Sales I rentals I Management For Sale S4-262

Almayate

lovely 4 Bed 2 Bath House (140m² built, 200m² plot). Main floor: living room with a fireplace and access to a large front partly covered terrace, fully-fitted modern kitchen with separate laundry/utilit y, bathroom, storage room and rear terrace for dining and private sunbathing. A wide marble staircase leads to the first floor: 4 bedrooms, all with fitted wardrobes plus a large family bathroom. The house has AdSl, SAT-TV, double glazing, communal pool and garden

Sales Price: 170,000€ (GreAT VAlUe!) Torre del Mar

For Sale

S3-303

1st floor 3 Bed 2 Bath Apartment (85m² built), sought-after area, large lounge/dining room with access to a spacious terrace which offers beautiful garden views, f/f kitchen, utilit y room, 3 large double bedrooms (one with en-suite), a family bathroom, private parking for 2 cars, large communal pool & attractive gardens. 10 minute walk to the beach

Sales Price: 150,000€ (GreAT PrICe!) Alcaucín

For Sale

S3-345

Brand New 3 Bed Villa (120m² built, 6,000m² plot), on one level, good access, 2.5 km from Alcaucín. Accommodation: entrance hall, lounge/dining room with vaulted ceiling and fireplace, kitchen, guest cloakroom, office, 3 bedrooms and family bathroom. outside are 2 porches and a large terrace, beautiful views to the countryside

Sales Price: 149,000€ (NeW!)

w w w.buyahomespain.com We wish all our clients a Happy & Prosperous 2018

EXPLORE Happy New

LOCKSMITH

Calle Granada, 88 NERJA Tel: 952 52 4651

24 HOURS 606 939 929

Do You Have a Business E IN NERJA? RE E ER H

AD

V

E TIS R E

H

This space can be yours

Call: 664 210 468

E IS T ER V AD

CHATELIN ORTOPEDIA & CHIROPODIST/PEDICURA wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds

wFor all inlays (inc.

Sports)

wRehabilitaion articles, etc.

Opening Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email: henrychatelin@hotmail.com

E NERJA

w Year 2018 restaurant - bar

Belgian specialities 40 different Belgian beers Calle Gloria, 9 Nerja +34 666 625 694

OVER LAND AND SEA

FOOTBALL - RUGBY - CRICKET - F1 - MOTO GP - DARTS TENNIS - BOXING - HORSE RACING - GOLF

NEW SPORTS MEMORABILIA PREMIERSHIP, EUROPEAN & CUP FOOTBALL POOL SKY, BT & BEIN SPORTS FREE TABLE GREAT FOOD & EXTENSIVE MENU MORNING, NOON & NIGHT FAMILY FRIENDLY-FUN PARTY ATMOSPHERE-HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY

BURRIANA NERJA TEL: 952 523 683

Gluten FREE Products Organic Food Natural Remedies Naturopathy Consultant Biological Check

ONLINE SHOP

for Europe

Natural Skincare Products

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Nee rpajgaes 62 -l a7b0out it here!

Se

- re Nerja

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La llave de oro, C/Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24 hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening and repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes and other security products.

Chatelin ortopedia & chiropodist/pedicura practice we are a company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic sector. Linda is a qualified chiropodist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker, for all your inlays and sport inlays, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...open Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325 For all your healthy foods and natural remedies. The Health Shop Rincon Natural C/Carretera1, Local 2, Edificio Armijo III Nerja, next to Supersol, beside Barclays Bank.

Stocking gluten free products, Organic food, Natural remedies and Natural skincare products.

They also do Crystal Healings. Tel: 952 52 35 03 Belga, Our chef is committed to a philosophy of quality food sourcing, with an emphasis on seasonal, local and artisan ingredients. Nick keeps the art of real cooking alive, preparing dishes from scratch with the best ingredients, to bring you real taste and real value. We also have 40 different Belgian beers.

DentadanĂŠs Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices-a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991. We have two Danish dentists (one female, one male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at www.dentadanes.com for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to & pictures of the clinic. Open Mon -Friday 10am-5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German, Spanish, French & Italian. Tel: 952 52 96 66.

Visit Ink & Chips on C/ Antonio Ferrandis, 27. They have all you need for your PC, such as ink cartridges & peripherals as well as laptop & printer sales. They also offer a technical service 365 days a year.

Olas Bar Sports Calender for January 2018 Football Premier league matches on 1st, 2nd & 3rd. League programme on weekends of 13th & 20th.

Matches on 15th, 22nd, 30th & 31st. Highlight games; 3rd Arsenal v Chelsea, 14th Liverpool v Manchester City, 31st Tottenham v Manchester United.

Scottish Premier matches 23rd, 24th, 27th, 30th & 31st. Highlight matches; 24th Rangers v Aberdeen 27th Celtic v Hibs FA Cup 3rd round 5th - 8th. Highlight FA Cup matches; 5th Liverpool v Everton, 6th Fleetwood v Leicester, Manchester City v Burnley, 7th Nottingham Forest v Arsenal.

Scottish Cup 20th Golf 4th - 7th - Sentry Tournament of Champions, Kapalua, Maui, Hawaii 11th - 14th - PGA Tour: Sony Open, Waialae Country Club, Honolulu, Hawaii 11th - 14th - BMW SA Open, Glendower GC, Gauteng, South Africa 18th - 21st - CareerBuilder Challenge, PGA West, La Quinta, California 18th - 21st - Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship, Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates 25th - 28th - PGA Tour: Farmers Insurance Open, San Diego, California 25th - 28th - Omega Dubai Desert Classic, Emirates GC, Dubai, United Arab Emirates Cricket 3rd - 7th - Australia v England, Fifth Test Match, Sydney 14th - Australia v England, ODI, Melbourne 19th - Australia v England, ODI, Brisbane 21st - Australia v England, ODI, Sydney 26th - Australia v England, ODI, Adelaide 28th - Australia v England, ODI, Perth Tennis 15th - 28th - Australian Open, Melbourne

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Annual Income Taxes For Non-Resident Property Owners In Spain If you haven’t made an annual Tax declaration as a RESIDENT in Spain, but you own a property here, then you are obliged to make a Tax Declaration as a NON- RESIDENT each year before the end of December A typical case is a couple who live permanently outside Spain (in the UK, Ireland, France, Germany or any other country), but own a second home in Spain which is used for their holidays, etc. The Spanish Inland Revenue automatically assume a benefit from the property, to cover the assumption that a property owner is using the infrastructure in Spain, i.e. roads, airports, public services etc., and therefore, should be contributing to the Spanish tax system. They have developed, a self assessment, NON RESIDENT TAX DECLARATION to cover this situation, called Deem Income Tax. Although an owner may not receive any real income or rent from the property, the law presumes an income of 1’1% or 2%, of the “Cadastral” value, of the property, (the rate used depends on whether the “Cadastral” value has or has not been modified and updated), and the resulting amount is the assumed income for the enjoyment and benefits resulting from owning a second property. This assumed income is then taxed at a calculated rate of 19% for residents in EU, Iceland and Norway and 24% for the rest of the countries.

Many non-residents who live for less than 183 days in Spain and therefore are not fiscal residents, but are owners of second residences in Spain, are not aware of their tax obligations because they have never been made aware of the Annual Deem Income Taxes. As unlike the local IBI taxes, which are calculated and prepared by the local authorities every year, this assumed Income Tax is operated on a self-assessment system and paid to directly to the Tax office. This means that Non-residents have the obligation to prepare, calculate and pay their own Deem Income Tax every year.

The Tax Returns form to be submitted is called, Form 210, and the period for submitting this declaration is a calendar year, from 1st January to 31st December. Any Annual Deem Income Tax due for the tax year 2016 must be paid before the 31st December 2017, so you are still in plenty of time to comply with the Tax laws.

Ignorance of the Law is not an excuse for not paying this tax, so we are informing any NON-RESIDENTS who own real estate property in Spain that they should be aware of their tax obligations, and should get professional assistance for preparing, and calculating their annual tax, to ensure that the form 210, is submitted on time. Otherwise, they could be fined in the future by the Inland Revenue.

For further information, advice or assistance on this Spanish Deem Income tax, please do not hesitate to contact us by Tel 952 901 225 or e-mail at mail@axarquiasolicitors.com.

We will be pleased to study your particular case and explain how this tax applies to you.

José Manuel – Garzón Senior Partner Axarquía Solicitors is part of Marbella Solicitors Group, a group of multilingual lawyers and tax experts that have more than 15 years experience assisting foreign buyers and vendors in Andalucía, both on the coast and inland.

See main advert opposite

We are looking for teachers. English, German and French. Full & Part time positions available with contracts

Call Rebeca on: 673 68 41 94 C/Antonio Millon, Edf. PeĂąaflor, Bajo 1, NERJA

CHIMNEY  SWEEP Be safe, have your chimney inspected and cleaned before you use your fire this winter

BE SAFE FOR A PROFESSIONAL CHIMNEY SWEEPING & MAINTENANCE SERVICE CALL CHIMNEY CARE

Tel Keith: 607 441 959 or Russ: 654 184 242

Wishing Wishin g yo youu a ver v er y Happy Ne w Ye ar!!

open Mon - Fri: 09.30 - 20.00 Avda. de Andacucia, 86 Bajo, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 54 72 51 / 608 025 772 w w w.centrodentis.com

NOW IS THE TIME TO PLANT VETIVER! WHY NOW? Vetiver is indigenous to India and was introduced here by the Spanish Government in 1994.

Unlike most plants it loves the heat of summer. If planted now it will grow to 1-2 metres before the Autumn rains. Vetiver will provide erosion control and act as a wind block for the upcoming winter season. There are many more uses for Vetiver.

See our website for more details: www.vetiverspain.com Contact us at vetiverspain@gmail.com

or call: 692 288 657

seeds - lighting - cultivation kits - irrigation - pots - trays etc.

Grow Shop

Magy’s Grow Garden Hochwertiges medizinisches CannabisÜl. Es hilft Menschen mit Krebs, Angst, Depression, Schmerz, Diabetes, Epilepsie, Fibromyalgie, Glaukom

Aceite medicinal de Cannabis High grade medicinal cannabis de alto grado. Ayuda a la gente oil. It helps people with cancer, con cancer, ansiedad, depresion, anxiety, depression, pain, dolor, diabetes, epilepsia, diabetes, epilepsy, fibromialgia, glaucoma fibromyalgia, glaucoma

Avenida de Andalucia, 106, Caleta de Velez Tel: 952 511 857 magysgardengrow@hotmail.com

Baby equipment available for long and short term rentals. Items can be collected in person or we provide a delivery service anywhere between Malaga and Nerja Orders can be taken via our website using our order form or please feel free to visit us at Divas, Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel or call or email us anytime Contact Sophie on: 0034 692 308 454 nurseryneeds@outlook.com facebook: @nurseryneeds.jt www.nurseryneeds.co.uk

To have a chance of winning this sleek Paul Mitchell power bank simply send us your funniest family Christmas photos.

Send your entry to: sales@thesentinella.com by the 19th January 2018 Winning entry will be published in February 2018

Win Me!!

SPONSORED BY 

TRAPICHE MARKET

Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm

Come and enjoy a relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa.

EASY PARKING HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

First Market 9th January Outside courtyard and beautiful function room full of fabulous stalls offering something for everyone.

Browse at your leisure and enjoy a coffee in the stunning shadey gardens Take the A-272 turning onto the Velez-Malaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

C all A ni ta on: 627 877 164

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& t i u Fr Facts s Veg Lemon The humble lemon has many nourishing elements such as vitamins C, B6, A and E, folate, niacin, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, copper, calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, phosphorus and protein.

It also contains flavonoids, which have antioxidant and cancer-fighting properties. It helps to prevent diabetes, constipation, high blood pressure, fever and indigestion, as well as improves the skin, hair, and teeth.

Lemonade or lemon juice can eliminate the occurrence of kidney stones by forming urinary citrate, which prevents the formation of crystals.

Many people also use lemon as a washing agent, because of its ability to remove stains.

The scent of lemons can also repel mosquitos, while drinking lemon juice with olive oil helps to get rid of gallstones and can help provide protection against inflammatory polyarthritis and arthritis.

Add a few drops of lemon to your dish and it will aid in digestion. It acts as a blood purifier and a cleansing agent. The recipe is lemon juice, cold water, soda, salts (common salt or rock salt) and sugar/honey for sweetness.

You can also add some mint leaves or crushed fennel seeds for added flavour. Drink this whenever you have a heavy lunch or dinner.

Lemon juice can treat colds, flu or fever — it helps to break fevers by increasing perspiration.

It is also frequently used in dental care. If fresh lemon juice is applied on the area of a toothache, it can assist in getting rid of the pain. Massaging the juice on the gums can stop gum bleeding, while eliminating the bad odours that can come from various gum diseases and conditions.

Additionally, it can be used in cleaning your teeth. Keep your eye out for a toothpaste containing lemon as one of the ingredients, or

add a drop of its juice onto your normal toothpaste.

The juice applied to the scalp can treat dandruff, hair loss and other problems related to the hair and scalp. If you apply this juice directly onto the hair, it can give it a natural shine.

Lemon juice, being a natural antiseptic medicine, can be applied to reduce the pain of sunburn and it helps to ease the pain from bee stings as well. It is also good for acne and eczema. It acts as an anti-ageing remedy and can remove wrinkles and blackheads.

Lemon juice can dissolve lumps on the skin, so it can be applied to the areas where the skin has hardened, such as the soles of feet and the palms of your hands. Drinking it with water can help patients reduce gallstones for the same reasons.

Lemon is excellent in the fight against throat infections, due to its antibacterial properties.

Drinking lemon juice is helpful for people suffering from heart problems because it contains potassium. It controls high blood pressure, dizziness and nausea because it provides a calming sensation to both the mind and body. It is commonly employed to reduce mental stress and depression.

Lemon has proved to be nature’s boon to everyone who uses it, providing many valuable solutions to health-related problems.

A good practice is to eat anywhere from a quarter to a half a lemon per day to get the maximum health benefits.

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77

Faceless

SatCo

FOR EVERYTHING TELEVISION Want to see the latest in Satellite television? Why not take a look at the all new VU+ Receiver from us? Fed up with the poor recording ability of the old Technomate box? Well this new system is the state of the art and exclusive to us with registered software. The system comes with a full 7 day electronic programme guide so you can look ahead to see programmes you want to set up to record. Both single record and serial record are possible so don’t ever miss an episode of your favourite series, just like the old Freesat days.

The great thing about this receiver, is that you can now set it up to watch one channel while it records up to 5 others, all at a touch of a button. All the recorded programmes drop into a small hard drive for viewing at any time you select with fast forwarding speeds of up 128 times, to rid you of all those dreaded adverts!

Another exclusive point is that it allows you to switch subtitles on and off.

Remember this box cannot be purchased from any other supplier as we invented the software to make it operate. Don’t miss any of your favourite programmes this Christmas.

NO SUBSCRIPTION - NO CONTRACT - FREE TO AIR Ask us for a demonstration at the Trapiche Market on Tuesdays or call us to arrange a time that suits you

The little green men from Planet Television

CALL: 657 484 853

Please call before 10am for same day service Email: tproctor29@yahoo.com

ARE YOU AN EX ROUND TABLER? RING ALFIE ON: 626 998 626

Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email: acecarrental@hotmail.co.uk www.acecarrental.biz

NO HIDDEN COSTS and free delivery / collection to the airport along the coast to Nerja Long term car rental from 300€ per month

The Sentinella

THE magazine to be seen in!!

Advertise your Business in print & receive a FREE LISTING on our BRAND NEW WEBSITE!!

WWW.THESENTINELLA.COM Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

La Tinaja de la Axarquia

100% handmade furniture, ceramics & souvenirs from La Axarquía

F OR A LL Y OU R B U ILD IN G RE Q UI RE M E N TS Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing.

Free no obligation quotes. Very competitive prices.

Visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

622 27 19 73 C/Reñidero, 31B - Vélez-Málaga Email: latinaja.axarquia@gmail.com

Te l : 6 65 32 2 1 3 6 - 9 5 2 5 3 9 4 23

rob@platinumbuildingservices.net www.platinumbuildingservices.net

AWNINGS - BLINDS MOSQUITO SCREENS ROLLER SHUTTERS Roller Shutter repairs New installations Conversion from manual to motorised

Call Julian: 655 825 931 English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891 TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

Taberna Restaurante

Padre Pio

Specialists in Homemade Pastas, Grilled Fish & Meat. The Best Quality & 100% Homemade Hours: 12.00 - 24.00 padrepio971@gmail.com www.padrepiorestaurante.com Tel: 951 237 899 / 633 701 449 Paseo Maritimo de Levante eltenedor.es TORRE DEL MAR

DENTIST Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

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gle i n j u n ma the J u J To me o c l

Film We

w e i v Re

you don’t just play Jumanji – Jumanji plays you and that you must survive it. They must beat the game to return to the real world again and they’ll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives. They must discover what Alan Parrish left 20 years ago, and change the way they think about themselves, or they’ll be stuck in the game forever.

Star Rating ****/*****

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Dr. Bravestone Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Nick Jonas, Karen Gillan (Martha), Ser'Darius Blain Director: Jake Kasdan Rating: PG-13 Release Date: December, 20 in the USA When four high-school teenagers in detention discover an old video game console with a game they’ve never heard of they are immediately sucked into the world of Jumanji. They are thrust into the game’s jungle setting, literally becoming the avatars they chose. What they soon realise is that

incorporating

www.leak-tec.com

Are you looking for a pool contractor who can A leak in a pressurised only pipe will lose 800 Repair, Refurb or Construct a Swimming Pool? litres of water in a 24 hour period through a 2mm hole in the pipe. If you are adding Look no further, because at Axarquia Pools 5 - 7cms of water to your pool a week, we do it all you have a leak. w Re-tiling / acid cleaning and w Construction of The very latest and technologically advanced swimming pools / wet re-grouting Leak Detection equipment on the market today! areas and external w External electrical lighting, showers pool lighting, electrical pump An internal pipe camera scope w Leak detection and repair for inspecting refurbishment and renewal w Salt systems & pinpointing fractures w Access ladders and step w Pool covers / safety nets & small anomalies within all construction w Pool automation the swimming pool pipework For more detailed information, & drainage systems please visit our comprehensive With our high-tec equipment, we can detect leaks website at: www.axarquiapools.com or email us at: info@axarquiapools.com in Swimming Pools, Depositos, Spa Baths and or phone Calvin on: 666 659 876 mains water feeds.

Fully registered company, established 2003 If you think you may a have a leak, call us today Part of the Active Construction on: 666 659 876 or email: info@leak-tec.com group of companies

New address

Avda. Andalucia, 103 Torre del Mar Tel: 951 28 30 75 Also at: C/Beethoven, 5 Malaga Tel: 951 21 27 70 innovaopticas@yahoo.es

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s Now b e l Ce en & Bridge Th Jeff

In 2000, he received his fourth Academy Award nomination, for his role in The Contender. He also starred in the 2005 Terry Gilliam film Tideland, his second with the director (the first being 1991's The Fisher King). He shaved his trademark mane of hair to play the role of Obadiah Stane in the 2008 Marvel comic book adaptation Iron Man.

Jeff Bridges, born in 1949, the son of established film and TV star Lloyd Bridges, made his first screen appearance at the age of two in The Company She Keeps in 1951.

In his youth, Jeff and his brother Beau made occasional appearances on their father's show Sea Hunt (1958–1961) and the CBS anthology series, The Lloyd Bridges Show (1962–1963).

In 1969, Jeff played Cal Baker in the TV series Lassie episode "Success Story". In 1971, he played the lead role Mike in the TV movie In Search of America. His first major role came in the 1971 film The Last Picture Show, for which he garnered his first Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. He was nominated again for his performance opposite Clint Eastwood in the 1974 film Thunderbolt and Lightfoot, and in 1976, he starred as the protagonist Jack Prescott in the first remake of King Kong, opposite Jessica Lange. This film was a commercial success, earning $90 million worldwide, more than triple its $23 million budget, and also winning an Academy Award for special effects.

One of his better-known roles was in the 1982 science fiction film Tron, in which he played Kevin Flynn, a video game programmer (a role he reprised in late 2010 with the sequel Tron: Legacy). He was nominated for the Academy Award for best actor in 1984, for playing the alien in Starman. In 1994, he starred as Lt. Jimmy Dove in the action film Blown Away, opposite Tommy Lee Jones and Forest Whitaker. His real life father Lloyd Bridges also featured in the film, playing the uncle of Bridges' character.

On July 11, 1994, Bridges received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for his contributions to the motion picture industry at 7065 Hollywood Boulevard. In 1998, he starred as what is arguably his most famous role, The Dude, in the Coen brothers' film The Big Lebowski.

Bridges is one of the youngest actors ever to be nominated for an Academy Award (age 22 for The Last Picture Show) and the oldest ever to win (2010, age 60, best actor, Crazy Heart). Crazy Heart also won him the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Drama, and the Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a male actor in a leading role.

Bridges received his sixth Academy Award nomination for his role in True Grit, a collaboration with the Coen brothers in which he starred alongside Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper, and Hailee Steinfeld.

Both the film and Bridges' performance as Rooster Cogburn were critically praised.

He has been married to his wife Susan since 1977 and the couple have three daughters and one granddaughter. He is still a prolific film actor, and his films over the last three years include The Giver, which he also produced; Seventh Son; The Little Prince, where he was the voice of the Aviator; Hell or High Water; The Only Living Boy in New York; Kingsman: The Golden Circle and Only the Brave. He is also a talented musician and has recorded two albums, on which he sings and plays guitar.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Three’s a crowd According to a recent report, Ant and Dec — one of Britain’s highest-paid double acts — owe a sizeable part of their success to a third man who, it's claimed, helps them write a lot of their jokes.

Andy Milligan is said to have worked with Ant and Dec for 12 years.

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C el e Newbrity s

arrived at the camp at midnight to spend more than three hours writing funny lines for the 42-year-old presenters.

Ant and Dec then turned up a few hours later to "hone" the gags before they went on air.

The Mirror claims that Andy has been Ant and Dec's only full-time writer for the past 12 years, helping them to write gags for I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here, Saturday Night Takeaway and Britain's Got Talent.

He's also said to have co-written the boys' autobiography Ooh! What A Lovely Pair: Our Story.

A source told the newspaper: “It might be Ant and Dec on screen, but off it they regularly work as a trio — it's Ant and Dec… and Andy.

"The boys have him involved in all of their big shows... they haven’t made a project without him in more than a decade."

The article claimed that while I'm A Celebrity was on, Milligan slept during the day and then

Selfie, anyone?

Phillip Schofield received an unusual Christmas gift this year — a 14-foot statue of himself, hewn out of marble.

The gift was delivered to him with an accompanying note which read: "Hope you like your statue - and aren't too weirded out by it."

The giant marble imitation was presented to Phillip by webuyanycar.com ahead of their new advertising campaign ‘So Schofield’ which has just launched.

Canillas de Aceituno - Tel: 952 51 80 71 C/Placeta, Edf. Arbosa, Bajo Monday & Wednesday 10am - 1.30pm Caleta de Velez - Tel: 952 55 03 76 C/Colonia de Puerto, 112 Thursday 10am - 1.30pm by appointment Periana - Tel: 952 53 71 25 C/Iglesia, 14 Tuesday 10am - 1.30pm by appointment For appointments and any queries please Call: 691 700 587

A spokesman for the firm said: “Phillip is the inspiration behind our new Phil-osophy and we thought this gift was the perfect way to really show our love and respect for the big man himself."

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Funny New Year Pictures Don’t forget to send us your Funny Xmas pics and enter our competition on page 75 

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87

New Year, New You! G5 massage cellulite and lymphatic drainage therapy

The G5 has been used in Physical therapy and sports medicine since 1957.

Voted as the best cellulite treatment by “What´s best for you” the G5 machine will:

The multiple direction percussion action increases lymphatic flow, breaks down stubborn fatty deposits and reduces the appearance of cellulite. It also boosts production of elastin and collagen and improves blood circulation.

• Break down fatty deposits and cellulite • Gently smooth skin texture • Improve blood circulation, reducing excess fluid • Be excellent for toning • Accelerate lymphatic drainage of trapped toxins

The G5 is the perfect conductor of deep tissue clearance, ideal for relaxing tense muscles, improving skin contour and assisting with weight loss and de-toxing.

It is important that the client undertakes regular exercise and has a good diet with plenty of fluids to ensure maximum results from the treatment.

For more information please contact Amanda Payne-Edge Bsc Hons. RSA See main advert below

Amanda Payne Edge BSC HONS; RSA

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing and lymphatic massage.

Treatments also using the G5 GBM Massage Machine. Also specialising in Kinesiology Taping & Passive, Active Stretching

Calle de Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel

Tel: 655 936 590

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Fun

cs i P ny M

M on ini

ic ag

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts Oregano Oil is extracted from the fragrant leaves of the oregano plant, Origanum vulgare. It is one of the most versatile and powerful of the essential oils.

Oregano’s herbaceous essential oil can be added to an array of savoury meals & salad dressings. However, use with caution as only one drop is enough to give an explosion of flavour.

Time to clean.

For a quick and easy household cleaner, put 10 drops of Oregano essential oil into a half litre spray bottle with water. Due to Oregano’s chemical compound, it is a powerful cleansing and purifying agent. This simple spray is great for cleaning kitchen surfaces.

Oregano oil is not only a rich source of antioxidants. It is antiviral, antibacterial & anti-fungal. It is good for infections, allergies, & inflammation. Oregano promotes a healthy immune system, respiratory function, and it also supports healthy digestion.

Take Oregano oil internally by diluting a drop in water and drinking. Oregano is a “hot” oil,

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Esse ntial Ore O gan o O ils i

so always dilute when taking internally with water or honey. For topical use dilute with a carrier oil. Always test for skin sensitivity prior to widespread use. Never place essential oils in your eyes or ears. Keep safe from children & pets.

l

Doterra Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils are available at Centro Dharma, see main advert below for contact details

Unidad en la Diversidad El Camino Adelante para la Humanidad - NUEVO

by Benjamin Creme Necesitamos una visión nueva y esperanzadora para el futuro. Este libro presenta tal visión: un futuro que abarca un mundo en paz, armonía y unidad, mientras que la cualidad y el enfoque de cada individuo son bienvenidos y necesarios. Es visionario, pero expresado con una lógica convincente e irresistible.

Unidad en la Diversidad: El Camino Adelante para la Humanidad incumbe al futuro de cada hombre, mujer y niño. Trata del futuro de la misma Tierra. La humanidad, indica Creme, está en una encrucijada y tiene que tomar una gran decisión: seguir hacia adelante y crear una nueva y brillante civilización en la cual todos son libres y la justicia social reina, o continuar como estamos, divididos y compitiendo, y presenciar el fin de la vida en el planeta Tierra. Creme escribe para la Jerarquía Espiritual en la Tierra, cuyo Plan para la mejora de toda la humanidad presenta. Él muestra que el sendero hacia adelante para todos nosotros es la realización de nuestra unidad esencial sin el sacrificio de nuestra igualmente diversidad esencial.

1ª Edición (2013), 160 páginas, ISBN 978-84-89147-17 1.

www.share-es.org

Libro Impreso/Pedir online y en Amazon.es Libro Digital/Pedir en Amazon.es - Amazon.com - Amazon.com.mx - Amazon.ca

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

93

Double Meanings Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."ďż˝ Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away...

"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

Don´t wait for the perfect moment Take the moment and make it perfect

Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

Regular menu & daily suggestions of the chef You are also welcome for a drink at our outside bar

International cuisine with exclusively homemade fresh products

Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

Kitchen opening times: Mon 10:30 - 15:30 Tues - Sun 13:00 - 20:00 Sat closed Avd. Mediterráneo/ Esq. C/ Estepona, Torrox Costa Reviews on Tripadvisor :Carpe Diem

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Where’s Waldo?

Where’s Waldo

Last month’s answer on page 108

H a p p y N e w Y ea r To Al l Our Cl ie n ts

Come and meet or speak to our bilingual team;

Jacqueline Combe - Managing Director, Natalie Combe - Accounts department, Barbara Vizcaino O´Hara - Administration & Insurance, Juan Pedro Jimenez del Dedo - Solicitor.

Opening hours: 09.00 to 14.00

THE DOG HOUSE HOTEL THE FIVE STAR HOTEL FOR VERY VERY VERY PAMPERED POOCHES YOUR DOG LIVES IN OUR HOUSE

LARGE SECURE PLAY AREA LOTS OF COUNTRY WALKS PET COLLECTION & DELIVERY SERVICES SPECIAL DIETS

“ONLY THE VERY VERY VERY BEST FOR YOUR DOG” Ring Phil: 649 079 321 Email philipclayton_1@msn.com Comares/Benamargosa - Est 2008

B O A R D I N G C AT T E RY Canillas de Aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat.

Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy.

Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access.

We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs.

We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated.

For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 www.campocats.com Campo Cats Cattery

Carlos cocinas

comprehensive study of the kitchen we have all types of kitchens Plaza La Marina 5, Nerja

C / Chaparil, Nerja

Tel: 952 523 008

DISTRIBUTORS We have a wide range of materials, both classic and rustic as well as modern.

Countertops and appliances of all brands and the latest innovations in the market in hardware and interior design.

In our trade we can advise and inform you of the latest market developments.

Come and meet us and ask for a budget without commitment.

Check our unbeatable customer service, quality and price.

Email: info@cocinascarlos.com

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es Chariti

What´s on in your area?

POCAPECUNIA, the Charity shop in aid of the Love A Child Foundation, has reformed the shop and is twice as big. We are still always in need of clothes, household items, paperbacks, CD's and DVD's.

Open: Mon-Sat from 10am to 1.30pm. C/Bella Vista 6 in Nerja (between Parador & Hotel Villa Flamenca).

Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way call Wendy: 660271984 or Vera: 680 315880.

SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance. The organisation will be presenting a donation at the Dia de Residente event this April in Nerja. If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to nerjaclub@yahoo.com The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: nerjaclub@yahoo.com http://www.americaninternationalclub.com Los Romanes Royal British Legion. Los Romanes branch has two venues. We meet weekly on a Tuesday at 12 midday at Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel and on a Wednesday at 12 midday at Bar La Vega, Torre del Mar. Our friendly group get together not only to raise funds for and support the Royal British Legion in Spain, but also meet to be with friends and have some fun, including quizzes, bingo, monthly lunches etc. We always welcome new members (you don’t have to be ex-military) – so come along to make some new friends at one of our meetings or contact Joyce on 692 551 385 for more information.

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164

Date Diasr For y

BAR ATILA Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don

Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. Call to reserve a table 663 393 987

Quiz Night Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar. Quiz night with a difference. From 8.30pm. Hosted by yours truely, Tony of The Sentinella. Come on down for a great evenings entertainment. Call to reserve your table 952544362 Every 2nd Wednesday in the month AAR monthly quiz at La Tasca. 3pm start. Opposite the police station, Torre del Mar. Call Shelia for details 640 328 051 Argentine Tango classes in Torrox: Wed 5pm 6pm Salón Pilates con Lorena Calle Deire, edificio fantasia, sótano 2 derecha, Torrox pueblo Mario Correa 649 59 55 94 mac1710@gmail.com Furniture shop in Torre del Mar is looking for volunteers who have a free morning or afternoon every week to help us to sell second hand furniture and attend to customers in the new store. Would you like to help us? Contact the Volunteer Department now: 952564910/671048304 voluntariado@cudeca.org Martin Urban from Astria has become the new Chairman of 41 Club Nerja (Ex Round Tablers).

We have had a talk on walks around Frigiliana, an evening with a horse whisperer. a boat trip around the bay at Caleta & 3 Munch Bunches. Our Club has 47 members from 10 different Counrties and is truly International. We meet twice a month. On the first Thurs we take our ladies out for our Munch Bunch where we visit different restaurants for a Menu del Dia. On the third Thurs we have our 'Normal' meeting. To become a member ring Alfie on 626998626 Every Day, departing at 12:30 Winter is a great time to enjoy a sunny sailing day and The Optimist of London II is now operating her daily winter schedule. This luxury catamaran sails every day at 12:30 from the Marina del Este, for a three hour cruise along the coastline of the Costa Tropical. Priced at just 60€ per person and including all drinks and a sumptuous buffet lunch too. You can prebook your trip at www.sailandstay.eu, pay a 25% deposit and pay the balance after the trip, but only if you’re 100% happy! See advert on page 70 Local artist Margaret Riordan has an art exhibition until end April 2018 at Bar Choto Playa on the N340 at Penoncillo beach, Torrox Costa, (Not Tues).

(Next to Ruta 34 motorcycles shop). Free entry, free parking.

WHAT’S ON!!!

Axarquia Fiestas & Events in January 5th January FIESTA DE LOS REYES MAGOS All towns and villages 14th - 15th January SAN ANTON - Sedella 16th - 17th January SAN ANTON - Nerja 16th January SAN HILARIO POITIERS Comares 17th January SAN ANTON Canillas de Aceituno

20th January SAN SEBASTION Alcaucín, Algarrobo, Frigiliana, Benamargosa 20th January FIESTA DE SAN SEBASTIáN Competa 29th January SAN ANTóN - Archez 26th - 27th January SAN ANTON - Salares 30th January - 2nd February FERIA DE BENAGALBóN

Whats on Axarquia -The Sentinella Axarquia Edition Please join us on facebook

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s e i t e i c o S & s Club

The Trapiche Social Club meets every Wed from 12noon to 2pm at the Trapiche Restaurant (on the Velez to Vinuela Road) All are welcome to come and meet friends and make new friends. Pop in and see, a warm welcome awaits.

Call: 680764130 Move It To Music! A gentle, informal and fun dance fitness class held on Saturdays, 11-12 noon, annually from mid October to Easter, Time Sport Gym - Avda de Pescia 21, Nerja. For more info: 675 846 217/moveittomusic@yahoo.co.uk Short Mat Bowls The Nerja Short Mat Bowls Club is now operating in the hotel Jimesol, C/ Chaparil, Nerja on Monday and Thursday afternoons from 1.45pm to 4.15pm. New members welcome.

Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579 for more details. www.shortmatbowlsnerja.com Golf: TOGS (Torrox Golf Society) If you would like a friendly but competitive game of golf each Sunday morning at Baviera, then why not join TOGS, possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa. Email: torroxgolfsociety@gmail.com or call Captain: George Clay on 643 139 023 Colmenar Social Club is a group of like-minded people, whose main aim is to promote frendship and assistance to all our members. We meet every Wednesday at around 12.30pm at the Arco Del Sol Hotel on the outskirts of Colmenar (A356 Vele Malaga to Casabermeja road Km9). We are lucky to have our meetings here, it is a great and versatile venue and the proprietors Antonio and Rosa are very supportive and helpful. We enjoy a variety of activities throughout the year: wine tasting, talks on various subjects from Lawyers, Estate Agents, Council Officials, Local Police, cooking demonstrations by our own chef member, car sharing days out to interesting venue’s, treasure hunts, special lunches at different restaurants, plant sales, homemade produce sales, many other activities and of course the popular quisses and games. Everyone, no matter what nationality, is made welcome, so why not come along one Wednesday and enjoy a few hours with us. For more information please contact Marjorie 952 037 556 or email Claire on dalecm19@gmail.com or visit our facebook page Colmenar Social Club to see our activities.

La Vaqueria Benamargosa Every Wednesday Mosaic workshop every 1st Saturday each month 30€. Wednesday weekly art class will be starting again in October. 11am - 1pm, 10€ includes refreshments and home made cake. 15€ per head,

Sponsored by:

some materials included occaisionally. Yoga class every Friday 5.30pm - 7pm...for all levels. Every Friday from 8pm there is a theme night where every week different flavours from around the world are celebrated...always choices for special diets.

Phoenix Club We now meet every Tuesday between 12 and 2pm at Bar La Vega, Avenida Andalucia and is sandwiched between the small Mercadona Supermarket and the Repsol Garage on the way out of Torre towards Malaga. Call Gail 951 067 723 www.phoenixsocialclub.co.uk Do you like singing? Would you like to join a choir? We are inviting new singers to become members of the local, long-established choir, Coral Coraxalia under the leadership of Eusebio Pita.

Great, friendly atmosphere, all nationalities, good repertoire, performances and concerts, social events, possible touring, etc. Rehearsals Thursdays 17.30 – 20.00 in the Casa Cultura on the main A7205 road at Viñuela village. Plenty of free parking opposite. Come along to a rehearsal and hear us and decide if you’d like to join us! For more information call 689 111 352 / 669 682 138 Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners.

For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 RBL - Nerja We enjoy regular lunches on the first Friday of each month at the Restaurant Nueva Arenas in La Herradura and on the third Thursday each month at the hotel Al Andalus, Maro.

To book for lunches, or to contact the branch for information, please contact our Secretary Vera Osborne, Tel: 952967200, Email: ozzybaldwin@yahoo.co.uk Every one is welcome and you don't have to be ex military to join. We are a friendly active branch who support a very worthwhile cause, So come along and join us" RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30-2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment & monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, & we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Tel: 603 879 308 www.britishlegion.org.uk/branches/benajarafe EL Capitan Tennis Club Torre Del Mar open to new members. Every Mon, Wed & Fri. For information Ring 675 391 967

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Clubs & Societies

‘The 'Big Cats' We are a group of Jaguar enthusiasts living in Andalucia. We have a meeting each month for a meal and a good old chat about our cars. On occasions we organise something rather more special, Mystery Tours or Weekends Away. The Jaguar Enthusiasts' Club is the largest Jaguar Club in the world and was formed in 1984, by members of other Jaguar Clubs, for the enthusiast who not only used, but maintained or restored their SS, Jaguar or Daimler. Contact Philip Wray on 669 434 457 www.jec-spain.com JEC.CostaDelSol@gmail.com Join El Valle! El Valle is one of Axarquia’s most successful and longest running social clubs. We are based in the Lake Vinuela area, 10 km inland from Velez Malaga, and most members live fairly locally but we also welcome people from the coast and further afield. At our monthly meetings you can find out about our wide range of activities that range from the cultural and gastronomic to quizzes, games and films. We also organise days out and short trips away. Through its members El Valle has links to groups that enjoy a variety of pursuits including leisurely scenic walks, more energetic cross-country hash runs, photography, quad biking, drama, bird watching and dancing. So whatever your interests El Valle has something for you! We meet on the first Mon of each month (apart from Aug when we take a break!) at the Camping Bar, Lake Vinuela. Please visit www.campinglavinuela.es for directions.

Meetings start 7:30 but we start arriving from 7pm so come early and introduce yourself so that we can help you make the most of what El Valle has to offer. You can also meet us on Fri mornings from 11:30-12:30 at Meson Sara at the Puente don Manuel crossroads to join us, book an event or have a chat. www.el-valle-asociacion.com The Nerja History Group is for anyone interested in Spanish History. We have monthly Talks & Trips between the months of October - April, Mixed nationalities, Talks delivered in English. All welcome. http://www.nerjahistorygroup.es/ or contact Christina Sinclair 687 602 057 or email nerjahistorygroup@yahoo.com The Nerja Players Jan 23rd: Annual General Meeting. (Opportunities for members to participate in cold readings of yet TBA scripts) The Nerja Players welcome new members to participate in any capacity including performing, technical and general support. For further information please visit https://www.thenerjaplayers.com and follow us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/thenerjaplayers/ Doors open at 18.30 hours and the performance will start at 19:00 hours and will be held in the Nerja

Bridge Club – entrance is between Salon de Juegos and Nerja Realty, through the blue doors at the top of Calle Castilla Perez 1, Nerja. A map link can be found on our website. Members Free: Guests €3 The Nerja Philosophical Group We are planning a different format for our January meeting and engaging with the local High School Philosophy students in a discussion on Jose Ortega y Gasset and Miguel de Unamuno, both integral to their curriculum. We have fixed a date, namely January 26, and it should be an exciting and instructive exercise for our members and, I hope, interesting for the students. We shall meet at the School, IES Sierra Almijara, just behind the sports centre on Avenida de Pescia, at 10.00 am. All who are interested will be most welcome. Call Tom Bryson on 699170931 Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Opening hours Mon-Fri 10am - 1pm & 3pm - 6pm. Tel.952 543 334 E-mail: luxmundi@lux-mundi.org.

Web: www.lux-mundi.org January events 1st Jan 2018 The Centre will be dosed for a Public holiday. 8th Activities re-start at the Centre.

Tue - Fri 2nd to 5th - Centre open morning only 10am - 1pm. 8th Half Orange "Bring and Share" Lunch, widows, widowers and singles group. You are welcome to join us and make and meet new friends at the Centre. The group also meets on the other Mondays of the month for coffee, walks, visits to places of interest, etc. 1pm. 9th & 23rd Photography Group 4pm 15th – Art Appreciation.10.30am 17th - Quiz Night. Please come and enjoy our Quiz Night at the Centre.Team up with friends and put your wits in this fun quiz. A light hearted evening which includes supper and a drink. Bar available and there will be a prize for the winning team! Ticket price 6€ available at the Centre. Proceeds to fund raising. 6pm for 6.30pm.

18th - 25th - Week of Prayer for Christian Unity.

Please come and join us, this is an opportunity to make visible the friendship and unity amongst the Christian Churches established in the Coast del Sol. Each day there will be Ecumenical prayers at different churches, for the full programme information please see the media and our web page: www.Lux-Mundi.org. 18th - Coach Excursion to Gibraltar. 12€ available at the Centre. Proceeds for fund raising. Departure times Puente don Manuel (Bar Mis Tapitas) 6.45, Algarrobo (Lidl) 7.15, Caleta (Vets) 7.20 and Torre Del Mar (Bus Station) 7.30. Depart Gibraltar 15.30 approximately.

PASSPORTS / l.D. REQUIRED. 25th - Coach Excursion to Zahara de la Sierra & Ronda. For info and bookings contact the Centre, Torre del Mar tel 952543334 E-mail: luxmundi@lux-mundi.org

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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order!

Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-Torre see Nerja-Malaga times Torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00.

Church services in English The Anglican Parish of Nerja & Almuñécar Services at Iglesia San Miguel (St Michael's Church), Nerja every Sunday at 12 noon and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel), Almuñécar every Sunday at 9.30 a.m. (except during August). There is also a short service of Holy Communion on Wednesdays at 9.30 a.m. in the Church Shop, Calle Málaga, Nerja. Priest in Charge: Father Nigel Thomas.

Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460.

Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sundays 10.30.

Website stgeorgemalaga.org Tel 952 407 050 Anglican communion.

Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at

Local Police : 091 Guardia : 062 Fire : 080 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays.

Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña).

Roman Catholic - Caleta de Velez - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, change of venue from October 7th at the Parish Church of Nuestra Señora del Carmen, situated on the main street, Caleta de Velez. Time 5pm.

Sunday Anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays.

Torre del Mar Evangelical Church Torre del Mar Presbyterian Church (Evangelical) meets for worship each Sunday at 11.00am in Legends Bar, C/ Don Cipriano Maldonado Jiménez, Torre del Mar. Everyone welcome.

Email info@torredelmarchurch.es Web www.Torredelmarchurch.es La Caleta de Velez: Cornerstone International Church: meets on Sundays 11.30am and Wednesdays: 7pm for bible study. Calle Virgen del Mar 3 Tel.63454019 Evangelical Church - El Puente Christian Fellowship Sunday Worship - 11am. Midweek activities - Pilates - Mon 11am & Wed 1.30pm. Bridge club Tues 2.15pm - 6pm. AA Wed 7pm. Charity shop/books open Wed, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. Bible study Thurs 5-7pm.

We meet at El Puente Christian Fellowship premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobilaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel.

Phone: 952 115 220 or 952 518 185 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

Taxis Torre: 653 917 004, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 653 917 004, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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Ambulance : 061 Water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104

Informa

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tion

Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

Weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa.

Wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa & Camping Vinuela Ctr.A356 KM30.

Thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez , Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Malaga Consulates UK Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Chemists www.bit.ly/dutychemists Telefonica

Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 952 048 804 Airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings.

Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272 Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 ITV Call: 902 702 727 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am - 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am 12.45pm

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) : a h a Jokes h Thanks to AP & MP for the following jokes The founder of IKEA has died. His funeral will be held tommorrow at 3 o'clock.

However, mourners have been asked to turn up at 12 to help assemble the coffin.

------------------------------------------------------------Sean Connery returns home to find all of his electrical equipment gone and his car replaced with a horse and trap.

"Shomething is Amish here", he thought.

------------------------------------------------------------With a cracking pair of tits in full view, the girl sat next to me said, "Would you like me to get one out for you to suck on?"

I replied, "Oh, yes please, unwrapping boiled sweets is difficult with birdwatchers gloves on."

------------------------------------------------------------I think we'll get a real Christmas tree this year.

Asking the kids to imagine one last year was a little unfair!

------------------------------------------------------------Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain.

One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom.

Lady 1: Where'd you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any chemist The next day, the first lady hobbled into the local chemist and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a package of condoms.

The guy looked at her kind of strangely (she was, after all, in her 80s), but politely asked what brand she preferred.

"Doesn't matter," she replied, "as long as it fits a Camel."

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive?

I just did and I apparently won't be allowed on this airline again.

------------------------------------------------------------You know it's cold outside when you trip over dog s*** rather than stand in it!

------------------------------------------------------------I keep asking my wife how much she paid for her botox injections.

Unfortunately she remains all tight lipped about it.

------------------------------------------------------------A little boy asks his dad: 'Where does poo come from?'

His dad explains that food passes down the oesophagus to the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal; this reaction extracts protein before waste products descend via the colon and rectum to emerge as 'poo'.

Blimey, says the little boy.

'And what about Tigger?'

------------------------------------------------------------So, Stephen hawkings reckons that the earth may have only about 1000 years of life left, where are the Rolling Stones going to do their final comeback tour?

------------------------------------------------------------“Your Only Fools and Horses addiction is ruining my life," my wife screamed at me. "I want you out of this f***** house right now!"

"Ok," I replied. "I'll fetch the suitcase from the van."

------------------------------------------------------------I have just bought my wife an indoor trampoline. At first she was very happy, then she hit the roof.

------------------------------------------------------------I got a pair of pants with the numbers 1 to 59 on them.

They are my National Lottery draws.

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105

Jokes h a ha :) Breaking news............... Thieves have stolen 20 crates of Red Bull from my local Supersol.

I don't know how these b****** sleep at night.

------------------------------------------------------------Are there too many immigrants in Britain?"

12% said ”Yes” 88% said ‫وب يملاعلا نمألا دهع‬ ------------------------------------------------------------Bilbo woke to find a Tesco had been built next door.

Now thaat’s an unexpected item in the Baggins area ------------------------------------------------------------My next door neighbour has had the London A-Z Atlas tattooed on his back. He's a bit of a weirdo, but at least you know where you are with him!

------------------------------------------------------------When I was young we were very poor and I sometimes had to wear my sister's old clothes to school. Turned up in the same dress as my teacher one day. Don't know who was more embarrassed, him or me.

------------------------------------------------------------I ordered some stuff online the other day and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.

Cost me an arm and a leg.

------------------------------------------------------------Three men die on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said,"You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven."

The Englishmen fumbles through his pockets and pulls out a lighter, he flicks it on and says,"Look, a candle."

"You may pass through the pearly gates," says Saint Peter.

The Scotsman roots into his pockets and pulls out a set of keys, shakes them and says, "They're bells."

Saint Peter says,"You may pass through the pearly gates."

The Irishman starts desperately rummaging through his pockets and finally pulls out a pair of women's knickers.

Saint Peter looks at the man with a raised eyebrow and asks,"And just what do those symbolise about Christmas?"

Paddy replies,"These are Carol's."

And so the Christmas Season begins.........

------------------------------------------------------------When I first got on the plane the pilot and co-pilot were coughing. The stewardesses were all blowing their noses loudly into hankies. Practically all the passengers had a cold and were all clearing their throats loudly.

That's the last time I fly on Catarrh airways ------------------------------------------------------------Got run over by a limo this morning. Took f****** ages.

------------------------------------------------------------What do you call an Irish skin doctor?

Dermot O'Logical ------------------------------------------------------------Little Mary always falls asleep in Sunday School. One Sunday she fell asleep and the teacher asked her "Mary, who created the universe?". Little Johnny, afraid of getting her in trouble, pricked her with a pin, "God almighty!" she yelled. "Well done" said teacher.

Later that day, she fell asleep again, "Mary, who is the son of God?" the teacher asks.

Johnny stuck the pin in her, "Jesus Christ!" she screamed. "Well done again" said teacher.

Later that same day, she fell asleep once more. "Mary, what did Eve say to adam after she had their 23rd child?" teacher asked.

Johnny did the same thing and Mary yelled "If you stick that God damn thing into me one more time I will break it off!!!"

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. Who was the legendary Benedictine monk who invented champagne?

2. Name the largest freshwater lake in the world?

3. Where would you find the Sea of Tranquility?

4. What is someone who shoes horses called?

5. What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?

6. What kind of weapon is a falchion?

7. Which word goes before vest, beans and quartet?

8. What is another word for lexicon?

9. Name the seventh planet from the sun.

10. Who invented the rabies vaccination?

11. Which is the only American state to begin with the letter 'P'?

1. The man who invented it doesn't want it.

The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?

2. On a particular game, the score for the second roll is five more than the score for the first; the score for the third roll is six less than that of the second; the score for the fourth roll is eleven more than that of the third; and the score for the fifth roll is eight less than that of the fourth. What was the score for each of these five throws?

3. I'm the part of the bird that's not in the sky. I can swim in the ocean and yet remain dry.

What am I? 4. At a family reunion were the following people: one grandfather, one grandmother, two fathers, two mothers, four children, three grandchildren, one brother, two sisters, two sons, two daughters, one father-in-law, one mother-in-law, and one daughter-in-law. But not as many people attended as it sounds.

How many were there, and who were they?

5. Which single letter can be placed at the start and end of _rom_ to form a word?

12. Name the world's biggest island.

Answers on page 108

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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107

Puzzle P ages

Crossword Across 1 ---- free: originally free from penalties of taxation (4) 4 Ingenuous (5) 8 Confront or challenge someone in their own 11? (5,3,4) 10 Create a new image (7) 11 Study (3) 12 Marginally tight (on time) (7,2,4) 15 Dark salty sauce (3) 17 Horizontal angle of a bearing clockwise from the north (7) 19 Catwalk mannequin (7,5) 20 Jag on the edge of a saw (5) 21 -- - -- Ma, American cellist of Chinese/French origins (2-2)

Down 2 Pole maybe one tossed by 1? (5) 3 Movement (of goods) (7) 5 Limit cheats! (anag) (11) 6 Legally acceptable (5) 7 Take part (4,2) 9 Continuously or repeatedly over a period of time (3,2,3,3) 13 Remove from power (6) 14 Factory where metal castings are produced (7) 16 Boorish lout (after Swift) (5) 18 Descriptive of undulating upland (5)

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s n e T p To 8 7 6 5 4 9 10,

,

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1,

The Top Ten Girls Names in the UK and Spain in 2017...

The Top Ten Boys Names in the UK and Spain in 2017...

1. Noah / Mateo 2. Harry / Santiago 3. Oliver / Matias 4. Jack / Sebastian

1. Olivia / Sofia 5. Charlie / Benjamin 2. Amelia / Isabella 6. James / Lucas 3. Emily / Emma 7. Oscar / Thiago 4. Isla / Valentina 8. George / Martin 5. Ava / Victoria 9. Leo / Alejandro 6. Isabella / Martina 10. Sulien / Emiliano 7. Lily / Luciana 8. Jessica / Camila 9. Ella / Lucia 10. Mia / Renata Quiz Answers - 1. Hancock, 2. Wrestling, 3. Jason, 4. 3, 5. Hugh Hefner, 6. Norwich, 7. LV, 8. Dvorak, 9. Hop, Step, Jump, 10. Morocco, 11. Watership Down Riddle Answers - 1. Dom Perignon, 2. Lake Superior, 3.The moon, 4. A Farrier, 5. A Mackintosh, 6. A sword, 7. String, 8. Dictionary, 9. Uranus, 10. Louis Pasteur, 11. Pennsylvania, 12. Greenland

Find Waldo Answer -

Last Month’s Crossword Answers

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109

The Tra der

3€ for a m Paymen aximum of 28 Email: s t to wo ales@th esentine be made befo rds or 15€ for re b lla.com before 1 the 17th of thoxed adverts 5th of th e e month month. or call: 6 64 210

468

Items for Sale TOP OF THE RANGE ExERCISE BIKE, digital read out. As new. Cost 300€ NOW 150€ Call: 651 877 958 MEN’S VIAGRA TABS 100mg, guaranteed or your money back, minimum 10 tabs 30€, free local delivery Venta Baja, Puente don Manuel, Vinuela areas. Call: 696 857 401 BBQ For your BBQ wood chips eg: Hickory / Oak / Apple / Cherry / Maple /Whiskey Oak and more... 1 pint tub 6€. Any 4 tubs 20€.

Free delivery in Venta Baja area. Call: 696 857 401 CHRYSLER GRAND VOYAGER 7 seats, silver, RHD automatic, 65,000 mls Deluxe spec including DVD screen, vgc. Spanish plates. 5000€. Tel: +44 7958 494914.

FREE - FREE - FREE! BATHROOM UNIT INCL. sink, mirror & tap. Height roughly 174cm, width roughly 88cm, depth at widest point 55cm. FREE 675 391 967 ANTIQUE, vintage, repo lighting. Large selection. Keen prices. Phone Stuart: 609 196 328

Job Section STAFF WANTED APRENDO IDIOMAS in Nerja are looking for teachers, English, German and French. Calle Antonio Millon, Edf. Penaflor, Bajo 1.Call Rebeca 673684194

Pine Display Unit 200cms high 55cms wide 40cms deep

95€ Call: 952 553 842 Long Lost Cousin Appeal: is your name MALCOLM COLEMAN? or do you know a Malcom Coleman, Also known as ‘MALK’, who lived in Leicester, England and is now living in this area?

If so please contact John Wilkins (his cousin) Tel: 604 218 532 or email wilki2247@yahoo.co.uk as I would like to meet up again after many years.

Wanted I WILL COLLECT FREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:625 319 323 Jacqui EL CAPITAN TENNIS CLUB Torre Del Mar open to new members. For information Ring 675391967.

SECOND HAND Left hand drive car wanted.

Good condition inside and out. ITV and tax up to date. Budget 1,500€ depending on car and condition. Call: 693 54 59 89

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s e p o c s Horo

by Juanita Banana of www.AbsoluteAxarquia.com

really do want to do

ARIES: March 21-April 20 Your year is off to a fantastic start - did you skip the party and go for a workout instead? Whatever it was, you are perky, peppy and ready for anything! Find time to enjoy some romance and your happy emotions

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 Spending the 1st with friends is the best way to bring in the New Year. A few days into January, prepare yourself for terrific news involving work and/or romance. A spot of low energy around the 10th and 11th tells you to take a break and pamper yourself

TAURUS: April 21-May 21 Take time for yourself on the 4th and 5th of January - you deserve and need it!

Mid-month you’re highly creative and totally tuned in to the vibe around you – go with it and have fun

SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 A time of rebirth and regeneration. By the end of the first week in January, people are drawn to you in ways that will enhance your life, though your radical thinking could rustle a few feathers at the end of the second week. Lend a helping hand at the end of the month

GEMINI: May 22-June 21 You start the year surrounded by loved ones, enjoying light debate and engaging conversation. As the year goes by, whenever you’re feeling down or insecure, these are the same folk you can turn to for sustenance CANCER: June 22-July 22 You want to start the New Year in a big way, running, jumping and singing. If others are a little weary and can’t keep up, channel your energy into creating some tasty treats or fascinating adventures for them – they’ll be thrilled!

LEO: July 23-August 23 You start the year positively, in great shape, with great ideas and in a great mood. Revel! You do need to take stock financially though and consider if you could do some things differently. Romantically, listen to your heart and you can’t go wrong VIRGO: August 24-September 22 If you have overscheduled your days, take action! Cancel plans! There’s no time like the start of a new year to re-assess your commitments. If you have no desire to meet for lunch for example, call and explain you’re over-extended. Being honest with yourself and others will give you energy for the things you

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 December 21 In the game of life’s chances you are winning, so smile, celebrate and count your blessings. When you return to work mode early in the month, remember to lift your head from the grindstone and take in your wonderful surroundings CAPRICORN: December 22 - January 20 Early in the year do something cultural and fun. By mid-second-week, you make a real impression on someone and receive praise and possibly promotion. Mid-January go with your instincts – they’ll be right on AQUARIUS: January 21 - February 19 Towards mid-month, listen to the voices in your head and the inspirational ideas that lead from there and you’ll produce some amazing work. Embrace the eccentric on the 19th to 21st and don’t block difficult emotions on the 25th PISCES: February 20 - March 20 Check your health and make sure your daily habits are self-supporting and balanced. Be careful of someone who may want to steal your ideas - if they don’t already know, show them you can bite back. Two weeks into January, your dreams take centre stage

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!! el l a n i t a month m s n o e r u e S just 5 ella.co The re from les@thesentin e h s s e a :s usin Paginas We can list yo6u6r4B210 468 or Email Call tod

ay on

AIR CONDITIONING

BLINDS

w For Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar w Polar Air For Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician.Call Susie or Peter 655 211 192 or visit www.polarair.eu w CHS Cooling and Heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar, Heating and swimming pool heat pumps.

Call: 655 791 167 Email: chsspain@gmail.com wCool Solutions Air conditioning.

Servicing only 30â‚Ź per unit. We supply all leading brands. Free estimates and advice. Room occupancy sensors supplied and fitted.

Tel: 693 047 935 or 625 822 410 Email coolsolutions.es@gmail.com

wSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maxim-um amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. ian@solarshadetinting.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

ALARMS wPerfect Alarm S.L High quality security systems including CCTV and Alarms. We speak English and German. Call: Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

BARS wVOx Cocktail Bar Half price on all drinks from 19.00 - 23.00 everyday. Sports and games. Torre del Mar, Torrox and Pedregalejo

BOAT TRIPS wLuxury Yacht Charters Tel: 618 972 139 www.sailandstay.eu Email: sailandstay@gmail.com

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE wThe Hair & Beauty Studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 654 897 410

BOOKSHOPS wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

BUILDERS wLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application and construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them - means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 info@ltconstruction.es www.ltconstruction.es wAll types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wJohn Housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414. Email: rosemary.housby@gmail.com

CAR ACCESSORIES wWindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal & certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect Children & pets. Be Cool. Enjoy the sun don't suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176/ 644 546 176

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The Sentinella Paginas CARE HOMES

CLINICS

wCasa Klein. A better place to live. Scandinavian convelescent and retirement home. Situated on a hilltop overlooking mountains and the sea in Velez Malaga. Tel: 952 50 21 30 Mob: 679 167 168 www.casaklein.com

wAnalysis Clinic, Haematology, Coagulation (Contro of Warfarin), Biochemistry, Inmunology,Hormone, Bacteriology, Parasitology, Special analysis. Home visits for blood tests. Antonio Armijo Navas, Specialist in Clinical Analysis. Urb. Costa del Oro, Local-4. Torrox Costa, Phone: 952 53 23 93

CARERS/AGENCIES wEnglish Nurse RGN / carer support. Tel Liz 692 419 548. Or 951 242 449 Hospital visits & discharge care inc equipment. Friendly Home care from your District Nurse. See www.holidaycare4youspain Testimonials - google English Nurse Competa. wDo you need an English Carer? Do you want to remain independent in your own home, but require a level of support to do so? Hourly, daily and respite care, including personal care, help in the home and companionship. Mature, experienced, qualified, registered and insured. Excellent local references, reasonable rates. Linda Horton 648 119 401 email: lindahwlc@gmail.com

Advertise your business here!

The best Value for Money advertising From as little as 5 euros a month (based on a year’s contract) 3 months 30 euros 6 months 40 euros 1 year 60 euros Call now: 64 210 468 CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wRoy’s Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Mark on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669

CCTV wPerfect Alarm S.L High quality security systems including CCTV and Alarms. We speak English and German. Call: Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

CHIROPODISTS wRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 25yrs exp NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715

CLEANING wUltra Clean, Clean & Changeovers, key holding, house-keeping, laundry, window cleaning, gardening etc.. Call Pammy: 674 597 984 Torre del Mar area

COMPUTERS wDavid Fenton: Computer Help Specialist.

Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000.

House calls, remote assistance or bring it to me. Help and impartial advice with all types of technology.

Tel 952 549 607, Mob 654 899 976

COUNSELLING wKestrel Counselling. Professional, confidential, qualified counselling service. Face 2 Face, skype or online. Experienced with all age groups including children. www.kestrelcounselling.com Email: kestrelcounselling@gmail.com Tel: 951 904 671.

DECORATION INTERIOR/EXTERIOR wTejidos Belen For all your soft furnishings. Specialists in cushions, pillows, accessories, interior & exterior decoration. We repair your sofas & terrace furniture. Tel: 952531732 / 650964624 Avd. Andalucia No.34 (next to Supermarket La Plaza)Torrox Costa

DENTISTRY wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at Spanish prices. Est. since 1991.

We speak English, Danish, German, Spanish and Italian. Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com wGrupo Dental Clinics Calle Enrique Van Dulkan, 21, Velez Malaga Tel: 952 54 95 95 www.grupodentalclinics.com

DOORS & WINDOWS UPVC Ventanas Arconplan - VEKA profile windows, doors and glass curtains. A reputable, fully registered company with over 15 years experience. Visit our showroom opposite El Corte Ingles, C/Santa Fabiola no 24 Local 1, 29651 Mijas Costa, Malaga.

Call: 952 667 559 / 634 04 30 92

DRAIN CLEARANCE wWayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 wAt Your Service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop. Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience. Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email: casaflores45@yahoo.es

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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The Sentinella Paginas DRAIN CLEARANCE (cont)

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS

wDrain & Leak Solutions Your underground plumbers!High pressure water jetting, Drain tracing CCTV, Septic tank problems & installationsm, baths, sinks & toilets unblocked, leak detection & repairs.

Fully qualified and fully legal. No call out fee!!

Tel: 951 310 111 / 651 111 005 www.drain&leak.com

wSpanish Management Vinuela (next to the Farmacia) 666 135 516 or 691 341 268 Web: www.spanishmanagement.com Email: officespanishmanagement@yahoo.co.uk

wBlokbuster - High pressure drain cleaning. 24 hours a day. Drain maintenance & repairs, high pressure pool cleaning, driveways & patios. NO CALL OUT CHARGES Call: 666 299 021 Facebook: blokbusters drain cleaning Email: blokbusterdrainage@gmail.com

ELECTRICIANS wSparkinspain - Electrical installations & maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga & inland to Competa and Frigiliana. Call Colin 951 242 449 or Mob 666 707 297 / sparkinspain@rocketmail.com Web: www.english-electrician-nerja.com

EROSION PROBLEMS wSuppliers of a sterile grass – Vetiver. Used for stopping erosion. With an incredibly strong vertical root system. Very cost effective. Visit www.vetiverspain.com for more information on the Vetiver Grass System. Call: 692 288 657 email: info@vetiverspain.com

ESTATE AGENTS wBuy A Home Spain Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com wFleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja.

952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, www.fleming-properties.com wAxarquia Properties S.L Established 2001. Office: 952 436 781 Email: sa@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.com Cta.Almeria 194, Benajarafe wCountry Properties 29754 Competa - Málaga Plaza Almijara, 21 & Avd. Constitución, 33 Tel.: +34 952 51 61 78 29770 Torrox - Málaga Calle Elisa Ortigosa, 7 Tel.: +34 952 53 91 25 29740 Torre del Mar Málaga Avda. Andalucia, 32B Tel.: +34 952 54 18 86 / 654 693 680 www.countryproperties.net sales@countryproperties.net wSkandiaMaklarna is your quality estate agency in Nerja. NEW ADDRESS: C/ Castillo Perez 21 Nerja.

Tel: 951 331 699 or mobile: 693 804 044 Email: nerja@skandimaklarna.se www.skandiamaklarna.se/nerja

wZalia properties, long established sales rental agents, Lake Viñuela area. Car hire, Pool, Villa cleans etc. El Cruce de Periana 4, Edf. Alzabel, Semisotano 2, Alcaucin www.zaliaproperties.net 952 519 718 / 663 093 782, 696 206 158

FASHION ACCESSORIES wHeaven for Fashion, Fashion jewellery and accessories at affordable prices www.heavenforfashion.com - use code SENT12 for a discount of 15% with your first purchase.

FURNITURE wCudeca Hospice Charity Shop – Torre del Mar C/ Infante 21 – Edf. Jamaica Bajo Tel: 663 083 273 MonSat 10.00 – 13.30 / Mon- Fri 17:00 – 20.00. Nerja C/ Almirante Carranza 15 Tel: 663 083 503 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 www.cudeca.org wProps & Vintage (P&V) Vintage and retro furniture and accessories for sale or hire. Visit our facebook page for details: propsandvintagespain / Website: www.propsandvintage.com Email: propsandvintagespain@hotmail.com Tel: 657 424 933 / 646 482 942

GARDEN CENTRES wCosta Torrox Garden Centre for all your gardening requirements. Plants, Fruit Trees, CeramicsBonsai Trees, Compost,Pest Control, Flowerpots, Garden Sundries and much much more! Open Mon Sat 9am -2pm and 4pm - 7pm and on Sunday 10am - 2pm. On the road to Torrox beside Lidl. Find them on facebook: /costatorrox or visit their website: www.costatorrox.es

GARDENING wMaintenance of Gardens and Swimming Pools. English, German and Spanish speaking 25 year old. David: 656 775 928 wRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 634 431 099 wSuppliers of a sterile grass – Vetiver. Used for stopping erosion. With an incredibly strong vertical root system. Very cost effective. Visit www.vetiverspain.com for more information on the Vetiver Grass System. Call: 692 288 657 info@vetiverspain.com

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The Sentinella Paginas HEALTH & BEAUTY

INSURANCE

wWeight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 beasav24@gmail.com (business opportunity also available):

wGPS Insurance Services - For all your Insurance needs (Personal & Business) Check out our easy to navigate website to request quotes www.gpsinsuranceservices.com email: admin@gpsinsuranceservices.com Tel/Whatsapp: 722 708 615

HEALTH SHOPS wRincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, superfoods, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, essential oils, incense & feng shui crystals. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, naturopath consultance etc.

C/ Carretera 1, in front of Supersol, Nerja. Tel. 952 523 503 ONLINE-SHOP for Europe www.rinconnatural.com wHigh Grade Medical Cannabis Oils for sale - helps people with Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Pain, Diabetes, Epilepsy, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma.

Prices from €30/60ml 6%CBD. Magy's Garden Grow Av.Andalucia 106, Caleta de Velez Tel: 952 511 857 magysgardengrow@hotmail.com

HEATING wRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside.

Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742, sscharler@gmx.de, www.redwell.com

HORSE RIDING wCasa El Cielo-Horse Riding Half or full day rides Malaga. A unique horse riding experience with Andalusian horses between the olive and almonds trees of the natural reserve of the Montes de Malaga. Call: 622 897 450 horses@casa-elcielo.es www.casa-elcielo.es/caballos

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCash paid. For House and Garage Clearance. Best prices. Get quote. All items considered.

Contact Ernie or Martin 616 812 765 / 690 854 154

HYPNOTHERAPY & NLP wMarion Dias BSc (Honours) Clinical Hypnosis and trainer NLP & Hypnosis. Help with Anxiety, Depression, Phobia, Stop smoking, self-confidence IBS, Public speaking as well as one day workshops for stop smoking, and self-healing, in NERJA. E-mail: marion@hypno-therapeutiques.co.uk.

INTERNET SERVICES wRiosat SL, Reliable internet services in the campo. No telephone line required.Please call for details. 951 239 310 / 626 679 018 Email: info@riosat.com / Web: www.riosat.com wTechno-Vision, 3G, 4G, Fibre, ADSL -unlimited data, Pay As You Go service available.

Tel: (0034) 657 066 782 / UK: (0044) 7835 772 340 Web:www.techno-vision.es Email: info@techno-vision.es

INTERNET TELEVISION (IPTV) wIPTV television No frills just like the good old days but up to date TV service. info@iptvspain.es Tel: 951 390 567 wTechno-Vision, UK & Scandinavian IPTV packages with Catch Up, PAYG available. Tel: (0034) 657 066 782 / UK: (0044) 7835 772 340 Web: www.techno-vision.es info@techno-vision.es

KENNELS AND CATTERIES wThe Dog House While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks.

Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'.Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa.

Email:philipclayton_1@msn.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. wResidencia Cantalobos The Pet Hotel in La Herradura, offers the highest standards of care for your pets. Call Now - Tel: +34 603 739 886 www.residenciacantalobos.com wHome From Home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Also Pet paw casting and bespoke animal sculptures in cement. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com.

KITCHENS wSun Kitchens, 15 years experience in Kitchens, Doors, Bathroom Units, Shower Screens, Synthetic Flooring & Wardrobes. Cipriando Maldonado 13, Torre del Mar. Tel: 653 63 46 33 / 622 10 13 10 www.sunkitchens.es Email: info@sunkitchens.es

LAUNDERETTES Bubbles Launderette Calle Manuel Marin 1, Nerja. open 9am - 5pm Mon - Fri, 9am - 1pm Sat for all your laundry needs. Offering a free collection & delivery service for the nerja area. Call now on 665539256

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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The Sentinella Paginas LAUNDRY SERVICES w Linen and Towels for holiday rentals and private individuals. Easy parking. Close to Capistrano Village, Nerja. Call: 655 663 572 or email info@diamondpropertiesnerja.com

LAWYERS

OPTICIANS wHeiko by Heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

PAINTING wNo Need to Paint Does your property need painting? Interior or exterior. Call now for a brochure: 640 519 482 or 952 594 425 Email: jabe@noneedtopaint.com

wCS Abogados , Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (in front of Mercadona). Torre del Mar, Calle Rioja, 69, Edificio Salares, local A. (Near the Bus Station). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: info@cslawyers.es www.cslawyers.es wAxarquia Solicitors 15 years helping expats and non-residents –Offices in Nerja & Velez-Málaga. 952 901 225 mail@axarquiasolicitors.com or ring Melanie Elst on 685589802 for a free no obligation appointment

wParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfill your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years of experience without risk over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of the beach bar. www.parapentegranada.info

wDe Cotta Law Spanish and English Lawyers, specialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, Company Start-ups and more. Multilingual. Calle Diputacion 11, Nerja 952 527 014

wAndy Mann UK Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: andymann_genesis@yahoo.co.uk

LOCKSMITHS

wEnglish/Spanish Plumber Over 30 years experience, trained and qualified in England. All plumbing work undertaken. For a fast and reliable service call José on: 615 344 123 / 638 609 906 wPlumbing by Chris, repairs, replacement & reforms. Est. since 1982. Call Chris: 674 617 379. No call our fee!

w24 Hour Emergency Locksmith Fully qualified UK C & G tradesman. 24/7 callouts & or appointments Call: 664 367 511 or email: pcandmrogers@gmail.com

METALWORK

PARAGLIDING

PLUMBERS

POST BOX SERVICE - NERJA

wMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity. Andy: 676 719 066 Email: sainbena@hotmail.com

wWe can receive all your mail for just 95€ per year (80€ subsequent years) Incl. Letters and Parcels.

Easy parking, open 10.00-14.00 Monday to Friday.

Call Helen: 655 663 572

MOBILITY PRODUCTS

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES

wBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 /635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

wInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email: sales@printerink.es

MOSQUITO/FLY SCREENS wWorking on the Costa 11 years. I will beat any genuine quote. Professional service. Call Steve: 653 303 698 wMosquito Screens made to measure & repairs.

Plus nets for your pets too with reinforced dog flap.

Call: 674 617 379. No call out fee!

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS wRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician. Contact 633 287 190.

PROPERTY OFF PLAN wAlexia 2nd phase in Caleta de Velez, 112 apartments and penthouses, don’t miss out! Set in a privileged location, the best in Caleta. Call: 952 783 531 / 910 516 354 www.alexia.es

PROPERTY RENTALS wBuy A Home Spain C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com

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The Sentinella Paginas REMOVALS wTransportation to UK to Spain to UK. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips. Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594 Email: vgcasacolor@gmail.com wTony Roam Removals UK to Spain to UK email: tonyroam@btconnect.com / www.euroam.co.uk ES 636 393 542 UK 07973 362 003

RENT A CAR wRent a Car Estrella Rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location. Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, VAT and additional driver included. www.estrellarent.com estrellarentweb@gmail.com - 952 511 209 wTransauto Rent A Car Malaga Our cars are delivered at the airport parking. Unlike other companies where you have to wait 30 minutes for a mini bus to collect you. No refuelling service fee. www.transauto.es Tel: 952 105 050

Advertise your business here!

The best Value for Money From as little as 5 euros a month 3 months 30 euros 6 months 40 euros 1 year 60 euros Call now: 664 210 468 RESTAURANTS wTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia,Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 wTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 wIndian Palace Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: indianpalacealcaucin@gmail.com www.indianpalacealcaucin.blogspot.com wRestaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831 wEl Pino Restaurante Cafe Bar, Avd. Miguel de Cervante Torrox Park. All you can eat buffet every Sunday. Tel: 687 411 092 wTaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra. Nacional 340 (next to post office) Torrox Costa Tel: 952 534 972 or 632 637 470

wLa Cabana del Canario Ctra de Penoncillo, Torrox Costa. Typical Canary Island food, Over 50 tapas. Tel: 655 948 478 wLew’s Traditional English Restaurant Avda.

El Faro, Torrox Costa. Open 7 days a week. Serving fish and chips, home cooked food. Call: 952 532 633

SATELLITE T.V. wTotal Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com

SECOND HAND SHOPS wCarousel Second Hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank. Open Tues - Fri 9.30am - 2pm Call Gilly: 625 827 193 wSweethome Second Hand Shop. Second hand furniture and decoration, Bric a Brac, etc. We also buy your unwanted furniture and undertake house clearances with delivery service or pick up.

Email: sweethome-torrox@hotmail.com. Contact Patricia: 625255487. Jardines del Mar del Penoncillo, BLQ 32, Torrox Costa wSecond Hand Shop, Garantiauto.

Do you need money? Buy & Sell! They buy everything; Cars, Motos, T.V’s Video Consoles, Mobiles, Furniture & Toys etc... Call 625 317 360 / 952 53 00 84. On the N340 Penoncillo No. 34, direction Nerja, next to Varadero bar.

SECURITY wPERFECT Alarm S.L., Caleta de Velez. High quality security systems, like video surveillance, alarm systems, perimetric protection systems, home automation. Worldwide surveillance of your property. If requested, we are licensed to connect to a monitoring station. We speak English and German. Call Mr. Martin on 608 517 661

SOLICITORS wDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47 www.delpradoandpartners-es.com

STORAGE/ PARKING wParking El Llano Caravans/Boats storage & General storage 24hr security, from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468 wNerja Personal Storage, fully insured with CCTV security. Secure storage / easy recovery / discount for bulk quantities. Prices from 14€ per m3, 5€ per suitacase (per month). Call: 951 833 338 / 682 525 106.

Poligono Castillo Alto 66, Nerja.150 metres behind Lidl on right.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

117

The Sentinella Paginas SWIMMING POOLS

TRAVEL AGENCIES

wAquamarine Pools - C/Playa Marina, 2D, Torre del Mar. Maintenance, Technical Service, Installations, Repairs, Diagnostics & Consultations.

Email: info@aquamarinepools.es Tel: 952 54 57 55 / 600 811 355 www.aquamarinepools.es

wSchlosser Reisen SA Travel Agency & Tour Operator Excursions, Hotels & Tours, Flights & transfers Tel: 952 530 875 / 608 039 802 Avenida Esperanto, 980 Email: info@premier.tours Languages spoken: German, French, English, Spanish

UKTV

wPlodgepools - Green ponds returned to crystal clear pools Maintenance plans adapted to your needs, installations, replacements, products and covers. Over 10 years working with very happy customers in La Axarquia. Call now for your first FREE pool consultation. Tel: 690 070 569.

E-mail: plodgepools@yahoo.es

wGlobal UKTV - The latest and easiest way to watch British TV anywhere in the world. No satellite dish only broadband needed. Easy set-up - no contract. www.globaluktv.com info@globaluktv.com

wLA RUEDA, S.L Installations, Chemical Products, Maintenance, Repairs & Gardening. Call 952 53 07 64 / 616 460 844. Emergency 24 hour 647 759 798. Ctra. Nal. 340, Urb. La Charca, 5a Fase. (esquina C/Mercurio) Torrox Costa Email: fontanerialarueda@gmail.com

wPet Vet Clinic La Herradura, Vaccinations, X-Ray, Dentistry, Operations, Pet Shop & More...

C/Alhambra Nº3, La Herradura. Tel: 609 977 564 We speak: English, German, Swedish, Finnish & Spanish

TAXIS w 24 Hour Taxi - English speaking. Call Javi on 653 917 004

VETS

WINDOW TINTING wMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571-644 546 176 ian@solarshadetinting.com

Cayet Abogados is an International Law Firm that comprises of a multilingual group of lawyers: our partners speak Spanish, English, German, French, Swedish and Dutch.

Cayet Abogados take time to understand the distinct demands that each client faces. This allows us to build a bespoke service to suit each relationship.

Our practice areas are: Property & Conveyancing, Wills, Inheritance & Probate, Family & Matrimonial, Litigation & Dispute Resolution, Residency & Taxation, Affidavits Contact us now for a Free Consultation Whatever your needs, your first conversation with one of our legal experts is an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to understand your situation.

Avda. Condado de Huelva, 9 - TORRE DEL MAR Tel: 951 13 72 69 Mob: 626 72 99 26 info@cayet.es www.cayet.es

Urb, Costa del Oro, Blq.3 Opposite Mercadona Local 14, Torrox Costa Tel: 951 196 388 / 649 123 068 torrox@casa-terreno.com

Calle del Mar 23 (Corner of Avda. Andalucia) Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601 info@casa-terreno.com

Villa El Morche Country property with panoramic views, covered pool and garage

Ref.: 10089

This large south orientated property is located 1.6kms from the sandy beaches of El Morche.

The property is divided into 3 individual apartments with the following floorplan: Top floor: large terrace, open plan living / dining / kitchen, hallway to 2 bedrooms (one with terrace) and a shower room.

Middle floor: covered terrace with barbecue area, open plan living / dining / kitchen, guest cloakroom, double bedroom with en-suite shower room and access to glazed sunroom. Lower floor: large sun lounge with dining area, living / dining / kitchen, guest cloakroom, double bedroom with en-suite shower room.

Additionally: a separate utility / workshop area, games room, double garage, log store, 7x4m (retractable) glass covered pool, storage, garden with several fruit trees. Excellent access. Features: double garage with electric doors, covered pool, fitted wardrobes, double glazed windows with fly screens, 2 log burning stoves, sun awnings, irrigation, communal water & electricity, water deposit of 10,000 litres, several terraces, panoramic views to the sea, mountain, countryside, pool and garden

Price: 260,000â‚Ź

Torrox Park

Beautiful 2 bedroom apartment

Ref.: 10106

This apartment is in Torrox Park, close to Torrox Costa. From the apartment there is a magnificent view over the sea and village. The apartment consists dining-/ living room, well equipped kitchen, two bedrooms with wardrobes, a bathroom and a covered/ open terrace. Features: Aircon in living room, ceiling vans in the bedrooms, communal swimming pool, south-west orientated terrace with sunshade

Price: 125,000â‚Ź

www.casa-terreno.net

CANILLAS DE ACEITUNO

FP1032 A modern 3 bed, 2 bath villa with garage of some 200m² on the edge of this popular village with spectacular panoramic views as far as the Mediterranean

198,000€ WISHING ALL OUR FRIENDS AND CLIENTS A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

EL MORCHE

FP0819

A delightful, 88m2, two bedroom

PUEBLO ROCIO, NERJA FP0923

to the beach

A one bedroom apartment in this popular area close to the town, with terrace overlooking the communal pool and gardens

99,950€

ONLY 80,000€

terraced property with communal pool and garden, only 200 metres

Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362