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The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 77

All you need for ‘info on the go’

January 11

Ha v e a & He a l t h y y We a l t h 2 0 11 !! !

Opticians

Tel: 952 96 79 23 Torre del Mar Tel: 952 52 83 95 Nerja See page 95

arkwrights the British store & more

95 25 19 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

The little mag that fits in your bag for ‘info on the go’


Rent a Home Spain Buy a Home Spain A huge thanks to all our Clients & Owners for a great 2010 We wish you all a Very Prosperous New Year Competa

For Rent

Ref: R3 - 154 Lovely 3 bed,

Torre del Mar

For Rent

Recently reformed

2 bath detached Villa.

Studio,

Chimney in living room,

central location,

terraces with BBQ,

communal pool

large pool with sea & ONLY 750€ per month Algarrobo Costa

mountain views. For Rent

Ref: R0 - 027

& tennis. ONLY 250€ per month Torre del Mar

For Rent

Ref: R2 - 140 Large 2 bed Apartment 85 m² in Viña Malaga. Ground floor with terrace/garden. 3 communal pools, tennis, parking, mountain views.

Very large Studio 45 m². Front line to beach, with communal gardens, pool & tennis. 300€ per month Canillas de Aceituno

500€ per month For Sale

Ref: S2 - 047 Large 2 bed

Torrox Costa

For Sale

2 bed Apartment

separate kitchen,

close to beach,

terrace & balconies,

communal gardens,

A/C, 5 mins walk to

Almayate

199,000€ Do you have a quality property to sell?

village & pool.

For Sale Ref: S3 - 095 3 bed 2 bath Townhouse: 133 m², spacious living/dining room, large garage with second kitchen, storage, terraces, walking distance to all amenities.

Ref: S2 – 048

Wonderful location,

Apartment 85 m²,

BARGAIN 74,900€

Ref: R0 - 026

pool & tennis

ONLY 131,950€ Baviera/Caleta

For Sale

Enquire For Ver y Low Price

www.rentahomespain.com email: info@rentahomespain.com Avda. Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

Ref: S2 - 012

Superb 2 bed 2 bath ground floor Apartment. Spacious lounge/dining room, separate fully equipped kitchen. Large covered terrace & sunny garden. Lovely communal pool and gardens. Close to golf course, beach, motorway & all amenities. We have serious investors with money ready to buy NOW!

(You’ll find us just round the corner from the Thursday market at the roundabout)


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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CONtaCt Us:

m Fro Ed... the

Editor: keidi - 610 976 284 Email: info@thesentinella.com

Firstly I’d like to wish all The Sentinella readers and advertisers a happy, peaceful and prosperous New Year, jam-packed with only magical things. We all deserve a blissful life, so here’s to yours for 2011… make it the best one ever. I’ve not long returned from the trip of a lifetime, three weeks travelling along the west coast of the USA, followed by a week of relaxation in Honululu, Hawaii. Many people have asked me to divulge what I got up to, so here goes… We flew into San Francisco and spent a few days ogling the city sights, including Golden Gate Bridge, Pier 39 and Alcatraz. Longing for some respite from the chilly San Francisco winds we jumped into our rental car and headed towards Los Angeles. En-route we stopped off in various random places, hiking for four miles to see the seasonal elephant seals, followed by a quest to find and sample the famous Anderson’s Pea Soup in a town called Buelton. Delicious… We spent our days in LA checking out Beverley Hills, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Boulevard, the Walk of Fame and the weird and wacky world of Venice Beach. Typically we reversed our rental car right into a limousine, which the driver declared had just enjoyed a 40,000 dollar paint job. “Welcome to LA,” said a passing lady rolling her eyes in the direction of the rant.

sales: kami - 664 210 468 Email:sales@thesentinella.com Distribution/Collections: tony - 664 689 138 Follow us on twitter @the_sentinella or @keidi_keating Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

Deposito Legal Ma-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. So there!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace. (Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

From LA we headed to San Diego, a beautiful city full of Mexican wares and scenic spots, such as The Old Town, the Gaslamp region and the island of Coronado. And we couldn’t leave San Diego without visiting San Diego Zoo. Never have I witnessed so many animals in the same place…amazing.

www.thesentinella.com


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From The Ed (cont)

Strange News

Then we said goodbye California and hello Nevada, arriving to the bright lights, shows and casinos of Las Vegas. My boyfriend had great fun risking his life on roller-coasters which flung him over the top of buildings. But dare devil rides, zombie-infested casinos and Elvis Presley look-alikes weren’t my cup of Tetley. In fact I preferred watching our washing churn around the tumble drier in the laundrette.

Cockerels In Glasses

While in Las Vegas we took a day trip to the Grand Canyon, viewing the natural wonder of the world from a helicopter, coupled with a boat trip along the Colorado River. Impressive.

"Because they are allowed to roam around during the day in the open space, it's inevitable the cocks will start picking fights with each other, so we decided to make them all wear glasses," said breeder Jiang Hau.

After all that action we headed back to San Francisco to catch our five-hour flight to Hawaii. The sun shone, the waves crashed and the golden sand slid between my toes like silk. Finally paradise had reared its head. Life doesn’t get much better than Waikiki beach and happy hour cocktails. And now I’m back in El Morche. The sun is peeking out from behind a tangle of clouds, Manolo is selling tubos from his kiosk across the road and I’m busy planning where the world will take me next…

Keidi Keating

Editor (of the original little mag)!

A Taste Of What´s On This Month Useless Facts...............................Page 22 Paparazzi.....................................Page 42 Dangerous toys...........................Page 54 amazing animals.........................Page 58 Dreams..........................................Page 68 Film review..................................Page 80 shareoscope................................Page 87 Competition winner.....................Page 99 whats On....................................Page 112 information.................................Page 114 Puzzle Pages..............................Page 116 Jokes...........................................Page 118 star signs...................................Page 120

Farmers in China have been issuing their cockerels with John Lennon-style sunglasses to keep the peace. The experiment, in Chengdu, south west China, was designed to help avoid fights breaking out between rival roosters at the free range farm.

"Giving them these plastic glasses to wear means they can't see each other so clearly so they are much quieter and much more peaceful." Now other farmers in the region are looking to see how the glasses work out and, if they are a success, say they will give all their cocks the new look too Robots Wait On Tables A new restaurant where all of the waitresses are robots has opened in China. The Dalu Rebot Restaurant, in Jinan, northern China's Shandong Province, has six robot waitresses and can cater for up to 100 diners. The 21 tables are set in circles and the robots follow a fixed route to serve diners in rotation. After serving, they return to the kitchen to refill their cart for the next round. The restaurant was developed by the Shandong Dalu Science and Technology Company which plans to further develop the concept. Spokesman Zhang Yongpei said: "Next, we'll develop robots which can climb stairs and help with kitchen chores like washing the dishes.”


HAPPY NEW YEAR Sunday Roast inc.glass of wine € 8.50 Bookings recommended

All Day English Breakfasts, Full Menu Open from 10am till late every day Scandanavian Special every Tuesday Karaoke every Saturday night

Quiz Night every Thursday from 8:30pm with cash prizes APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month

C/Dr Maranon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 544 362

Broadband internet No landline required Pay-as-u-go or contract 29€ inc. IVA per month. Pay for the months you use


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Happy New Year!

You know it´s time to leave the party when...

8. You've forgotten where you live.

1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

9. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.

2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room. 3. You drop your 3am kebab on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating. 4. You start crying. 5. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work. 6. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher. 7. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

10. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..." 11. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it. 12. Your sloppy hugs resemble to begin take-down wrestling moves. 13. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!). 14. You start making-out with middle-eastern men on dance floors.

Casa Blanca w w w w w w w

roast Chickens & hamburgers Venta Baja

Varied menu Various tapas Eat in or take away sheltered terrace great atmosphere great service great prices We are here

Cruce de Periana

Car Park

To Puente don Manuel

Te l e p h o n e : 6 5 4 2 2 3 2 0 2


Menu del Dia - 6.50€

Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm

3 courses

(including vegetarian)

Rashid and his team would like to wish everyone a Prosperous 2011

Help yourself Buffet - Thursday & Sunday Adults - 9€ Children under 10 - 5€ 13.00 - 16.00

Includes various starters, mains, vegetarian dishes, rice and bread

Special Menu Monday to Saturday - 8.95€

Pappadam, Onion Bhajee / Vegetable Pakora / Vegetable Samosa, Prawn Puri & Chicken Tikka Chicken, Lamb, Prawn Vegetable - Vindaloo / Balti / Jalfrezi Tikka Masala / Korma / Dansak / Biryani / Chicken or Lamb Tikka Pilau Rice / Naan / Tea or Coffee

Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday www.publisur.net


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The Unpublished! Childrens books that never made it!

12. That's it, I'm putting you up for adoption

1. You are different and that's bad

13. Grandpa gets a casket

2. The boy who died from eating all his vegetables

14. The pop-up book of human anatomy

3. Dad's new wife Robert

15. Strangers Have the best candy

4. Fun four-letter words to know and share

16. Whining, kicking and crying to get your way

5. Hammers, screwdrivers and scissors: An Ican-do-it book

17. You were an accident 18. Things rich kids have, but you never will

6. The kids' guide to hitchhiking 7. Kathy was so bad her Mum stopped loving her 8. Curious George and the high-voltage fence 9. All cats go to hell 10. The little sissy who snitched

19. Pop! goes the hamster... and other great microwave games 20. Your nightmares are real 21. Where would you like to be buried? 22. Daddy drinks because you cry

11. Some kittens can fly

RESTAURANTE ASIATICO

FENG

Chinese New Year!! 14/02/11 special Menu * Various Starters * Peking Duck with Pancakes * Selection of Main Courses * Bottle of Wine & 2 glasses of Cava per couple * Dessert & Gift 29.95â‚Ź p.p.

Lidl Fengs

Open every day 12.00 - 16.30 / 18.30 - 24.00

Avda. Andalucia To Nerja

Avda. Andalucia, 35 Bajo 29750 Algarrobo-Costa (Malaga)

Tel: 952 551 439 or 671 886 552


TAJ MAHAL Traditional Indian Tandoori Restaurant Torrox Costa Eat as MUCh as YOU LikE

Y L N O

9.95 €

We offer an´all you can eat’ menu (as many starters, main courses & desserts as you want)

all freshly cooked to order. You stay seated at your table as everything is served to you in courses. Open every day - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 24.00 Ctra Nacional - 340 (Next to Post Office) torrox Costa

tel: 95 253 4972 / 634 051 535


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Linea Directa EXPATRIATES Since 1995 Línea Directa has revolutionised the insurance market due to its firm commitment to innovation, the quality of its service and personalised customer care, which in 1998 led to it becoming the first insurer to offer its customer services in both English and German. As a result, the processes of purchasing a policy, making enquiries, claims handling, forwarding documentation and 24-hour assistance can be carried out entirely in both English and German, at a convenient time with a single phone call. Línea Directa also offers its policyholders a translation service when dealing with repairers. Línea Directa also offers a wide range of products and services, which include car and motorbike insurance, as well as extensive and exclusive home insurance, specially designed to satisfy all the personal requirements of expatriates. Motor insurance Línea Directa Aseguradora’s motor insurance division arrived in Spain in 1995, having originated in the United Kingdom, and completely revolutionised the market,

due to its highly innovative pricing system, which allows the customer to purchase personalised insurance at the most competitive price. With currently almost 1.7 million customers in this segment, Línea Directa Aseguradora offers pioneering products on the market with an excellent quality-price ratio. Car and motorbike insurance customers can also enjoy innovative services such as Night-time Assistance or Full Medical Treatment completely free of charge, guaranteeing those injured in traffic accidents complete and immediate medical treatment without having to pay. home insurance Since 2008 Línea Directa Aseguradora has offered a business line specializing in Home Insurance, which after hardly three years now has 100,000 customers, due to its simple, transparent products without the small print.

For more information call 902 123 104


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De Cotta De Cotta Mckenna Santafe now serving the Danish community Local law firm De Cotta, McKenna y Santafe, well known for its broad range of legal services for the English speaking community in Spain, is now extending its services to the Scandinavian community. Thomas Gant Lopez, a member of highly pro-

fessional team at the firm's Nerja office is a fully qualified Spanish lawyer, and uniquely placed to assist the Danish living on the Costa del Sol. Thanks to his Danish and Spanish background, he is multilingual, speaking English, Spanish and of course Danish and understands perfectly the legal needs of the Danish community. For more information or a consultation contact the firm. Thomas Gant López. Spanish Lawyer De Cotta McKenna y Santafé Calle Diputación 6, 2º, 29780 Nerja Spain Tel (00 34) 952 52 70 14 Fax (00 34) 952 52 34 28 Email: thomasgant@decottalaw.net Website: www.decottalaw.com

colmenar gym *pilates *circuit training *keep fit to music *personal training pilates classes now also at: puente don manuel (underneath la maroma real estate)

for more details contact: carol 659 295 346 email: carolgrant2@tiscali.co.uk

MR ‘wants CLUTTER your goods’ *House and Garage clearances *Shops and Bars - old stock * Now buying; Antiques, Gold & Jewellery Call David on: 686 375 089 or email a list to: cullimores@hotmail.com Cash available and efficient service

“So DoN’T BE A NUTTER,

SELL iT To MR CLUTTER ”


15

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Easy Resolutions Here are some funny New Year´s Resolutions we can all actually keep this year:

Eat, sleep, breath, and void yourself of waste and gases when necessary. Listen to your friends, then ignore their advice.

Gain 30 pounds. This would be much easier and more fun than losing 10.

Create more than your fair share of carbon monoxide.

Insist on taking everything personally. The world revolves around me doesn't it? Lust in your mind, daily.

Laugh at inappropriate times. Gain 30lbs

Don’t do it!!

Always. No not always, never, yeah never, no not never... Sometimes... Okay occasionally be courteous. Put things off, in other words procrastinate more.. Begin sometime next year if possible.

After a couple of drinks go ahead and tell that raunchy joke to mixed company, then regret it the next day Don't pick up your dog's poop.

Lust! Lust! Lust!

3 times a week!!

Eat McDonalds 3 times a week

VICTOR We wish all clients a very Happy New Year

Legal Services english Legal Advisor & experienced Lawyer Specialising In: * Property Legalisations * Catastro & Border Corrections * Addition of Pools or extensions * Properties without deeds * IBI/Rates

A Quick, Professional & Impartial Service Call for a FRee consultation and get your property papers checked out. don´t lose a sale due to paperwork inconsistencies

Solutions 4 u, Cómpeta Office Tel: 952 55 38 07 or 660 51 01 34 email: info@solutions4u-competa.com

For Sale

HORSe MANuRe / CHARCOAL

OLIve WOOd 1.20M3 - 50€ Free delivery in Axarquia

Services

Construction / Painting Clearance of land Pool maintenance Garden maintenance Fencing constructed for gardens and land. Cleaning of houses etc.

616 302 929 628 062 776

No Obligation Quotes

Wood s a c k 20kg s Charcoal


Paul Atkins Motors KIA SPORTAGE Petrol Spanish 4x4 5 door manual POA

GRAND VITARA Diesel 5 dr 2007 Spanish Only 40,000kms Mint condition POA RANGE ROVER 4.6 HSE Automatic 1998 Excellent condition POA

CHEROKEE JEEP 4L Petrol ITV etc. Leather LHD Spanish plates CHEAP

OPEL VIVARO Diesel panel van 2006 57K only Mint condition P/X considered POA

RENAULT SCENIC 2004 1.9 Diesel RHD English Good condition  POA

FIAT PUNTO 1.4 Automatic Petrol 2000 Spanish Plates LHD POA

MITSUBISHI PAJERO 1995 2.8 diesel 7 seats POA

HONDA CRV 2000 2L Petrol English plates RHD POA

BEACH BUGGY 1300 1996/7 Great fun!! Collectable To change plates cost 700€ - 750€ POA

ROLLS ROYCE ROLLS  ROYCE

Wedding Hire Service Special Occasions Call: 663 515 341 or 655 251 207

Valeting

Wash, leather & vac - from 6€ Wash, leather, vac, dash clean, tyre & bumper black - from 12€ Full Valet - from 22€ ALSO….. Tailored valets, Dust removal, Dog hair removal, Polishing, Stain removal, Wheel trim re-painting, Chrome polishing & much more... For more information call: 663 515 341 or 655 251 207


MeCHAniCAL

TyReS

WeLDinG

FROM CLASSiCS TO MODeRn DAy CARS e yN p p Ha

ear wY

!!

Paul Atkin

Car Mechanic, Body Repairs & Tyres WILL BUY EMERGENCY  CALL OUT ENGLISH Large Premises SERVICE CARS Tyres: New & Part Worn Wheel Balancing Punctures

Unwanted Vehicles removed

SERVICES!!

we will act as your agent & sell your vehicle

Dents, Scratches, Welding, ITV Failures, Servicing, Insurance, Crash Repairs Grúa Services, Secure Parking 663 515 341 / 655 251 207

To Vinuela

Email:casa-atkin@hotmail.com

We are here A-402

Garden Centre To Vinuela To Puente don Manuel

To Periana

Directions: Take the Vinuela turning off the A-402, at the Garden Centre turn right and we are at the end of the road “Look for the Mannequin”


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Are You Skint Now? Top signs you´re broke after Christmas 1. American Express calls and says; "Definitely leave home without it." 2. Your idea of a 7 course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant. 3. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment. 4. You give blood everyday, just for the orange juice. 5. You finally clean your house, hoping to find loose change. 6. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments. 7. You go back for seconds at communion. 8. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln. 9. You rob the kiddies piggy banks!

Random Joke :) If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull..... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!


We are a very well established and respected estate Agency based at offices in Casabermeja. We currently are very active in the Axarquia area and have had a very successful year of sales. We have sold many properties in Axarquia and we are able to help you through the legal process and all documentary issues. We have a highly professional team of both english and Spanish staff. SoMe exAMPLeS of reCeNt SALeS INCLuDe – further examples and references available upon request.

Sold in Olias

Sold in Colmenar

Sold in Canillas de Aceituno

WE ARE IN NEED OF FuRTHER PROPERTIES TO SELL IN YOuR AREA. If you have a property for sale or are considering selling then please contact us for a free sales valuation. We have clients on a daily basis wanting to buy in your area and we need more properties – especially country houses or villas. We will act promptly in getting your property widely marketed and sold. SoMe exAMPLeS froM our MANy ProPertIeS for SALe

Comares

Puente Don Manuel

Nr Periana

Independent Shop, ideal as Delicatessen or similar. 2 spacious apartments. Lovely views - ideal location.

3 bed, 2 bath. Large property. Lovely views. Big garden. 12 mtr pool

3 bed, 2 bath. Large plot. Pool. Spacious accomodation. Large underbuild.

Large Bar & Restaurant.

395,000€

275,000€

225,000€

Please contact us for any advice on sales or for a free property sales valuation. address:- 12, Camino de Colmenar, Casabermeja, 29160 Malaga telephone: 952 75 85 15 Mobiles: 606 744 841 / 648 752 767 Emails: info@gatewaytoandalucia.com and gatewaytoandalucia@live.com website: www.gatewaytoandalucia.com


The Sentinella team would like to wish all clients & readers a very Happy & Prosperous New Year From Keidi, Kami, Tony, & Michelle

Happy 2011 Wishing you a very Healthy and Wealthy 2011 Superb Menu of the day Only 8.45â‚Ź 1.30pm - 4pm

new A la Carte Menu from January

Gourmet Menu Only 14.45â‚Ź evenings only 7.30pm - 10.30pm

For reservations please call: 952 965 424 or 662 086 854

Email: restaurantelsalmon@hotmail.com Avda. Andalucia 56, Torre del Mar


Vanessa´s Traditional Sunday Lunch to share - Pork or Chicken Always very popular so book early! 3 courses from 20€ per couple

The Lemon Tree “El Limonero” Lounge Bar

Light Bites & Specials served every evening Open Thursdays, Fridays & Saturdays from 6pm. Sunday from 2pm CLOSeD FROM 25TH DeCeMBeR - 13TH JANUARY

A GReAT PLACe TO Be!

Tuesday 25th January - Special Burn’s Night event. Book your table now for what will be a great night with lots of fun!! Wednesday mornings - Yoga! Gently get back to fitness after the New Year Party extravaganza!! Come and yoga with Tanya at the Lemon Tree Wednesday mornings 9.30 - 10.30 Private functions catered for Calle Vienteocho de Febrero Riogordo (Turn right and right again at the Painted Star on the road)

Por informacion: the-lemon-tree@hotmail.co.uk

Call: 620 3535 94

Find us on


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le e s U

ts c a ss F

ss sele ! u e ing y ar The t amaz u b

Each of us generates about 3.5 pounds of rubbish a day, most of it paper. Women manage the money and pay the bills in 75% of all Americans households. A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon. It can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon. It has NEVER rained in Calama, a town in the Atacama Desert of Chile. An eighteenth-century German named Matthew Birchinger, known as "the little man of Nuremberg," played four musical instruments including the bagpipes, was an expert calligrapher, and was the most famous stage magician of his day. He performed tricks with the cup and

balls that have never been explained. Yet Birchinger had no hands, legs, or thighs, and was less than 29 inches tall. Daylight Saving Time is not observed in most of the state of Arizona and parts of Indiana. Ants closely resemble human manners: When they wake, they stretch & appear to yawn in a human manner before taking up the tasks of the day. Bees have 5 eyes. There are 3 small eyes on the top of a bee's head and 2 larger ones in front. Count the number of cricket chirps in a 15-second period, add 37 to the total, and your result will be very close to the actual outdoor Fahrenheit temperature. Only female mosquito’s' bite and most are attracted to the colour blue twice as much as to any other colour. In eighteenth-century English gambling dens, there was an employee whose only job was to swallow the dice if there was a police raid.


Free Brake Check

Service with oil & filter from

45â‚Ź

Guaranteed best prices on the coast for all makes of tyres

Free Winter Check

Air-con re-charge

41â‚Ź

Pro Neumaticos


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Personality Test Get the banana!!!

Never Drink Again!! I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimp, a Giraffe and a Squirrel. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

Who do you guess will win?

I am never drinking again!

I am never drinking again!

Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds. Got your answer? Now turn to page 121 for the answer

NEVER, EVER AGAIN!!!


Winter is here! Will you be using your Terrace / Balcony this winter? You could still be using it through the wind and rain The answer

Glass Curtains!

New Year Offer! First 6 orders - 50% off!

Glass Balustrade

Pool fencing

Product Benefits: w w w w w w w w

Mr. & Mrs. Goddard, Arenas

Doesn’t spoil views Folds neatly away Elimates dust and dirt No need to bring furniture inside Warmer winter homes Increases value to property Adds security Reduces noise

Other Products

Replacement Windows/Doors ---Glass cut to size ---Shower screens ---Repairs to all Glass Products ---Conservatories ---Solar Film Call Glass Curtains Direct on:

Office - 952 931 464 Mobile - 626 458 954 Email: glasscurtainsdirect@gmail.com www.firstglasscurtains.net


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Random Jokes A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. The Doctor asks: "What happened?"

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp." The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is a sleep."

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn..The woman says: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me! How does the tea do that?" The Doctor says: "The tea does bugger all, it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick!

SAT. CO

invites you to our no obligation demonstration of High definition (HD) Television Technology. Held every Saturday starting 2pm near Hotel Vi単uela. Ring to book your place. 657 484 853 (Free drinks and nibbles while you enjoy the demonstration!)

FreeSat+HD, Sky+ HD, Spanish TV, 3DTV etc.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million". impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.


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27

Boulder Walling Boulder walls are common features in Andalucia, mainly used as retaining walls. They can be an attractive addition and are relatively inexpensive to build compared to other wall types. The question is, why do so many of them fall down? The problem stems from the fact that the builder does not fully understand the land structure where the wall is erected. Boulder walls are just dry-stone walls on a larger scale. Dry-stone walls are classified as gravity walls. They follow the principle that the weight of the wall itself maintains the horizontal pressure necessary to maintain strength and integrity in the wall. If you look at large boulder walls closely you will notice that any given boulder is only touching its neighbour in four or five places, so there is very little structural strength in the wall. They tend to be built only two or three boulders deep (when they should be four or five). The problem with this is that if one boulder moves, the adjoining boulders will also move and the wall will come tumbling down like stacked cards. They are prone to move because they are often back-filled with soil that was excavated to

build the wall instead of aggregates. This soil leaches through the wall leaving a cavity behind it, and the weight of the wall causes the boulder to slip. They tend not to be built on a reinforced concrete footing, and the weight of the wall is not spread out causing movement to occur. There is also ground movement during the summer months when the ground contracts and in the winter when it expands due to water retention. So, here we have three main factors: land movement through contraction and expansion and the soil leaching through the wall, added to the fact that we live in a earthquake zone. They are clearly not safe. You will never see stone walls built in any other country (where planning restrictions are more thoroughly controlled). Stone block walling is different as there is more friction that in turn creates strength. LT Construction should be your first choice in deciding which approach to take in designing a retaining wall. Please contact LT Construction to make sure you get this most important element of a garden designed and built well. http://www.ltconstruction.es/


DENtist Dr Bakri

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa tel: 952 55 05 21

torrox Costa tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers. Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport. Vinuela based, 25 years experience. Local or anywhere in Europe. Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips. Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

English Dental Technician Over 20 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 622 719 640 COLONiC irrigatiON A HEALTHY MOVE

Cleaning of the Colon A detox Enjoy: clearer skin, increased energy, weight loss, mental clarity and more... Call Eileen: 951 167 238 or 609 811 879 (near Hotel Vinuela)

Carousel

Secondhand Furniture Shop

Open Mon - Fri 9.30am - 2pm & Sat - 9.30am - 1pm Closed 24th Dec - 10th Jan Book exchange available on ground floor

“House Clearances”

Call Gilly on: 630 211 907

La Vinuela Pueblo (Down steps at side of Bank)

MAN & VAN! Anytime...Anywhere

Locally based 12 cubic metres €25 per hour Small Loads to U.K Phone Mark:  669 255 968


VENta BaJa Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

SPeCIAL  MeNU

9.50€ special menu

Monday - Thursday Day & Night (except Monday lunch) Poppadam & Pickles Selection of starters: vegetable samosa or pakora or onion bhaji or Prawn puri or Chicken tikka Main course: chicken, lamb, prawn or vegatable: Korma, Madras, Vindaloo, Balti, Jalfrezy, Rogan Josh, Tikka Masala, Karahi, Biriyani or Chicken or Lamb Tikka Accompaniments: Plain or Pilau rice. Plain, Garlic, Cheese or Onion Nan Bread or Chapati Ali & his staff promise to continue serving their cuisine to it’s usual high standard, using only fresh ingredients that are freshly cooked to order, ensuring the Taj Mahal (Puente) is the BEST Curry House in Andalucía FrEE Pappadam with Mango Chutney & Pickle tray with all meals

Menu del Dia Mon-Fri 12pm - 4pm 3 courses €5.95 with veg. curry €6.95 with meat/prawn curry

takeaways available Free Pappadam & pickle with takeaways

Opening hours 12pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day (closed Monday lunch) Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito antonio) tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

CHIRINGUITO ANTONIO A warm welcome to all A great mix of Spanish & English The only place in

Events in January

the area for

14th January Live Music & Dinner 10€

Hot Stone cooking Car Park Large Fireplace Jacket Potatoes Very Large Terrace Full Tapas Bar Varied Menu

OFFER! Bacon Roll

(English Bacon)

& Coffee

2.50€

28th January Live Music & Dinner 10€ NOW OPEN ‘DISCO CHIMENEA’ Thurs - Sunday “OFFER” - FREE drink in Disco with every meal eaten in the Restaurant

Telephone: 695 635 242 Turn right at Cruce de Periana, find us 500m on the right at Venta Baja


Lads & Dads Barber Shop

(20 years experience)

TORROX

El Faro, Torrox Costa

(next door to the Lottery Shop)

Mon - Sat 10am - 2.30pm Mobile or Appointments Mon - Fri 4pm - 7.30pm

Call: 625 572 183

Traditional Indian Restaurant

Full A La Carte Menu with ‘Winter Special Offers’ Laguna Beach, Torrox Costa Tel: 951 239 670 Mob: 677 334 721 Opening Hours Tuesday - Sunday 2pm - Late Closed Mondays

Happy New Yea

t Monday Marke


X COSTA

ar From Torrox

Lighthouse LEws Fish & ChiPs traditional English Fish & Chips Eat in or take away Edf ruselo, avda Faro tel: 952 532 633 Now showing ‘Live English Football’


32

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a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 30 - 39

e! it her bout a l l a ead

-r Costa x o r r To January Specials at Caribe. All you can eat buffet on Sundays and Monday Market Specials both from 12 noon onwards. Valentines is not far away so book up now to enjoy your special Valentines evening at Caribe. We are open 7 days a week from 9.30 serving breakfast, daily bistro meals and fine dining for that special evening meal or party event. We are easy

to find near the Riu Ferrara Hotel on the Paseo Maritimo. russells British store moved recently, just down the road on the same side but on the Caixa bank block... we have a great new larger shop full of British products. We have also just opened a new store, just opposite across the road, called Russells Regalos stocking a great selection of greeting cards and gifts.

New Lads & Dads Barber shop with 20 yrs experience. Whether you prefer mobile or an appointment, both catered for, or just pop in. For printing visit i-dea and take advantage of their January offer. New in Torrox Park, taBLa CaLaJa's NEw rOCk Bar CaFE OPENiNg sOON. We will have live music, new menu, aerobics and pilates and much more. Call for more information.


Bar/Cafeteria: Business Opportunity in the heart of Torrox Costa a 75m2 bar/cafeteria with terrace, f/f kitchen with machinery. Rental only 800€ per month, 6 mths in advance plus 1000€ deposit. Start the New Year with a new business in a great location. Serious enquiries only please Call 651 956 284 for more information. Visit the Light of india Indian Restaurant Laguna Beach, with a full a la carte menu. shop: A modern office in the heart of Torrox Costa for rent. Formerly an estate agency so comes with some agency furniture and display equipment. Main and separate managers office, wc with basin, alarm system. 450€ per month. Call 651 956 284 for more information

nished and includes two double bedrooms, lounge, separate very large dining room, open plan kitchen, gardens, terraces and enclosed swimming pool and hens, so plenty of free range eggs available. The gardens, pool and hens can be maintained by the owner if so wished, for no extra charge! Available now and a complete removals service is offered for rentals of 6 months or more. Call 651 956 284 for more information or to arrange a viewing. Every Mon at Los amigos line dancing from 7pm, Karaoke with Rockin Robin Fri nights from 9pm, Every Sun Chill Jam Sessions with Dr. Dave & friends from 8.30. Table top sale on Sat 8th January 10am and on Wed 12th Jan Silver Fox are playing. Wed 19th Jan we have the start of our quiz night from 9pm which will run every two weeks on a Wed evening. Devour traditional English fish & chips from Lew´s Fish & Chips, eat in or take away!

apartment: In the heart of Torrox Costa, with all amenities on hand, this two bedroom apartment is available for long term rental. The property is fully furnished. Only 450€ per mth. Call 651 956 284 for more information. Villa: Fantastic stylish Rustic Villa in Torrox, on the Torrox/Frigiliana Road available for LongTerm Rental at 650€ per month. Approximately 100m2 the property is available fully fur-


34

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

a t s o C ToSererpoagxes 30 - 39 For reputable building and contents insurance, car insurance, private medical insurance, pets insurance, funeral plans and more, contact Lewis insurance services. rebeccah Curtis wellbeing Centre have two great offers for January, kick start your beauty regime with the ultimate in skin cleansing and antiaging treatments the Microdermabrasion & Oxygen Therapy Facial treatment using "Crystal Clear" technology. Normal price for the treatment is 125€ but for January only 85€. Fancy a manicure? With every manicure receive a free deeply hydrating paraffin hand mask throughout January all for only 19€. Start your new year vibrating away the pounds using the Vibrotrim, great for busy people as you use it in 10 minute sessions. Each session costs 4€ or book ten sessions for 30€. We also have the passive exercise couch... regular use of the

toning table results in the pelvis, back muscles, rib cage and shoulders being re-educated and re-aligned, a 15 minute session is only 6€ or a course of 10 for only 50€. Start your New Year with a great way to keep fit and make new friends. Learn to dance with Yo Jive, Modern Jive classes. A fusion of Jive, Salsa, Latin and a bit more. You don't need a partner, come by yourself or bring a friend. Every Tues night at 8.30pm at El Ancla, a fabulous location right on the beach,Torrox Costa on C/Penoncillo, N340 betweenTorrox & Nerja. Beginners always welcome. Jan sale time at restaurante El Pino 2 for 1 meals only 6.95€ Mon-Thurs & Sun lunches early bird option, eat before 1.30 buy 1 receive 1 half price! Sun lunches from 12.30-9.30pm. Fri night Fish & Chips buy 2 meals get a free bottle of wine. Happy Hour in Jan, Mon-Thurs 5-8pm & Sat during football matches. If thats not enough we are taking bookings for St Valentines. Round the World Tastes and Traditions Theme ... intrigued?? Call in or phone us for more info. Join us at El Pino... where having fun & dining will cost you less this January!!

Heat up your home in a healthy and economical way! Infrared Design Heating System: Pictures, Mirrors, Glass, Blackboards, Columns etc. -Very economical to run and maintenance free -Partial storage heater keeps running times lower -No air circulation, so dust is not dispersed -Simple installation -Prevents dampness Picture heater abstract -Electrosmog free

Contact us or visit the exhibition at our shop: Redwell, Dipl.- Ing. Svend Scharler, Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa phone: 952539742, mobile: 606423869, Email: sscharler@gmx.de

www.redwell.com, www.redwell.es


CLINICA EUROPA

C S

Medicine

w

General Medicine

w

Paediatrics

w Physiotherapy w

osteopherapy

w

Acupuncture

w

esthetic anti-ageing Medicine without surgery

w

Special treatment for fibromyalgia

w

Solutions for Stress, Anxiety & Insomnia without medication

For more information please call English Dentist: Dr. Michael Mannish B.D.S.(univ. of London) w w w

Harley St. Dentist of 25 years Take advantage of your free 2nd opinion before you start your treatment. Competitive prices

Implant Specialist

introductory Offer with this advert

TeeTH WHITeNING IN ONLY ONe HOUR! Dr. Michael Mannish Bachelor of Dental Surgery (University of London) Málaga Colegacion 2015

A typical course of treatment can produce dramatic results! Call, text or e-mail me anytime

648 203 157

dmmannish@yahoo.co.uk

for a complimentary examination, second opinion or just an initial chat

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com


hotel riu Torrox Costa

Hair by Patsy:

Cuts, re-style, colour & tints, foil highlights, perming or just wash and blow dry. our Salon also offers Beauty & Massage treatments including Reflexology and indian Head Massage. Gift Vouchers available. For an appointment call: Patsy: 679 562 328 Mo: 663 564 699 Hotel: 952 52 75 94 Ask for the Peluqueria tuesdays - saturdays 10am - 7pm

Casa Maria Sky Sports

Jam Night - Mondays (with hosts “Flip” & “Aqui te Partie”)

eSPN

Wii Night - Wednesdays - 6pm Happy Hour Everyday 17.30 - 19.00 (1€ bottle, 2€ pint San Miguel, 1€ glass of wine)

Saturday 15th January - Fancy Dress Party with 50’s, 60’s & 70’s Disco Parties & Functions catered for

Carol & John wish everyone a Happy New Year!! Open 11am - Late 7 days a week Call: 667 954 901 or 664 259 968 TORROX PARK (bar on the goat track)


Not just Ribs!!! We specialise in Ribs, Wings, Steaks & Chicken

Events w 1st February - 10 year Anniversary Live Music and Buffet - 7.30pm Credit Cards taken w 14th February - Valentine’s Day 5 course Candlelit Dinner with Live Bookings advisable Music - 7.30pm for 8pm Quiz night last Saturday in w 7th March - Carnival Party with Snacks & Live Music the month torrox Costa - Block 88 (Next to tennis courts & auto 2000) tel: 95 253 2369 / 696 516 534 Closed Mondays

HARLEKIN BAR - CAFÉ Now open early till late everyday!!

DraUght BEErs

gOOD FOOD

san Miguel John smiths Paulaner alhambra

See our Daily Specials Board

Come and join Robert, Nicole & Andreea for Good Company and Good Food. Relax and enjoy one of our Great Beers, a glass of wine or something a little stronger!

Hotel Riu

Block 6

torrox Costa

e We ar

Coming Soon!

Bar FOOD

Burgers sandwiches toasties all Day Breakfasts

Sunday Roast Lunch

here

Authentic indian Curries TORROX COSTA For more info:

952 531 804

All Sporting Action Live on Big Screens


Sue & Carsten wish all our customers A HAPPY NEW YEAR and A BIG THANK YOU for all your support in 2010 We have new Danish & English specialities on the menu, come in and be inspired. NEW !! NEW !! Karaoke every Friday night, start from Friday 7th January 2011 at 8 O'clock.

Open from 11am - 7 days a week

Tel: 952 967 734

Find us on Paseo Maritimo, Torrox Costa At the end of Avda. el Faro, down the steps and we are on the right just before Flamenco Fusion


Clinica Casa Blanca Clinic for:

OSTEOPATHY

THE BOWEN TECHNIQUE

Massage, Lymphatic drainage, Shiatsu, Reiki, Reflexology, Ear-Acupunture, Craniosacral Therapy Do you suffer from back problems, spinal misalignment, pain in neck or shoulders, joint discomfort, tightness in muscles, internal ailments, migraines, fibromyalgy or do you just want relaxation from stress? The Bowen Technique is gentle and works on the whole body for inflammation, illness and pain. The treatment is safe and appropriate for everyone, from newborn babies to the frail and elderly.

Forever living products: inc. Minerals and Aloe Vera Products etc. Also home visits Ask about gift vouchers Urb. Jardines del Mar, Blq C3, Torrox Costa (near garden Centre, 1km direction Nerja)

email: clinicacasablanca@gmail.com

www.clinica-casa-blanca.com

Tel: 952 967 628 or 659 374 673 Random Joke

The Stranded Irishman One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship.." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long

drag, "Faith and begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!" Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!" At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there as well!"


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

The Word Queen Creativity is Godlike, it could be described as mystical and it’s a big part of every writer’s life. Writing a book without it would be practically, if not totally, impossible. But even if you’re not creative (or you think you’re not) then it doesn’t matter because I’m going to reveal how to activate your creativity! Being creative can feel hard sometimes. Perhaps you’re just not in the mood. It’s been a tough day. You’re tired. You don’t feel like writing. Luckily, there are lots of ways of stimulating your creativity and listed below are just a few things you can do to. Doodling Painting/drawing Scrapbooking Walking in nature Pick up a random book from your bookshelf and open it – it’s often uncanny what page it opens at, as if it’s a message for you. Draw on the content to write. Knitting, beading, or crochet, even if you’re really bad at it! Think silly, because flow is a playful state. Many people find flow in quiet, repetitive tasks that they enjoy. Playing the piano Organising your photos Planting flowers Do something that’s a guilty pleasure. Buy a few of those comic books you never buy anymore - do they help you achieve flow? Every time you find yourself in flow, spend a while thinking about how it feels, and how you got there. And then, whatever it was, do it again as soon as possible! Saying you can’t get started with your book because you didn’t feel inspired is no longer an excuse! As the information in this article proves, anyone can enhance their creativity at any time. You don’t have to wait for it. Make it come to you. The more you focus on developing your creativity, the more creative you will become. For more novel-writing tips check out my 26-week online course; www.writeyourbookmasterclass.com and for publishing or editing queries email me on info@thewordqueen.com

41

Ozzie Computer Technology A little bit of Aussie culcha..... LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the pick up keys. WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold. SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season. BYTE: What mozzies do. uSER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things


42

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

zzi

ing uc e, a d o tr zin our e inmagaegin d. r ’ we lla e b orl ear entine th, w leb w Y S e w n Ne h e mo e c he t to T This of th t ’s it’s ten e. As con i Pag the A z h w ne araz y wit p Pa urne jo

ra a p Pa Profile

Name: Angelina Jolie Birthday: June 4, 1975 Age: 35 Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA

otic looks. She is French, Iroquois, Czech and English. 6. Jolie is the goddaughter of actress Jacqueline Bisset. 7. She is an Oscar winning actress who has won Golden Globe Awards and Emmy nominations, an Academy Award along with a SAG Award. 8. Angelina has starred in music videos with Meat Loaf and Lenny Kravitz. 9. The actress isn’t just another pretty face. She’s involved in international charity projects. 10. Jolie has visited refugee camps around the world and has been appointed a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA Facts about angelina Jolie: 1. Angelina’s full name is Angelina Jolie Voight. 2. One of her nicknames is Catwoman. 3. She measures 5 ft 8 inches. 4. She’s the daughter of actor John Voight. 5. Genetics may have played a role in her ex-

11. The actress has adopted two refugee children, one adopted child and have a daughter of their own. 12. Jolie was married previously before connecting with Brad Pit. 13. Angelina has been rated one of People Magazine’s ‘50 Most Beautiful People.’ 14. She has a tattoo that reads ‘A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages.


hOtEL BaLCON DE CÓMPEta Under New Management C/San Antonio, 75 Cómpeta

Tel: 952 55 36 62

Email: info@hotel-competa.com

Fax: 952 51 67 80

www.hotel-competa.com

Restaurante Maria now open!! Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays 7.30pm - 10.00pm Special menu of the month!! 3 courses & a bottle of Rioja per couple - 15€pp To further enhance your evening stay the night for only 20€pp For an Andalucian treat including breakfast Semana Blanca - 4th - 6th March. Bookings recommended Let us be your hosts for this very special

Valentine’s Weekend in the Hotel Saturday 12th February 3 course dinner & a complimentary bottle of wine per couple - 19€pp Live Music! - Special Gift! Lots of Surprizes! For that extra special evening add one night of luxury for just 30€ pp

weekend with Competitions, Fancy Dress and Treasure Hunt. We would be very happy to entertain you. Please call for more info

Need a few days of relaxation? Let us pamper you this January with 2 special nights for the price of one. For the whole of January (Normal Room Rates)

A date for your diary: All of January - Happy Hour! Local Spirits with Mixer 2€ from 8 - 9pm


Save up to 50% compared to conventional retaining walls

Dry-stone Gabion Walls Do it yourself or we supply and erect. Up to 50% saving against conventionally built stone walls

Do it yourself kits supplied with full instructions and advice or we can supply and erect using our own fully qualified staff. All products delivered direct from the manufacturer in the UK No planning required No architects drawings No long waits for building licences Suitable for landslips, retaining wall solutions & ornate landscaping All Gabion baskets are guaranteed for over 50 years against corrosion Gabions act as natural drainage so no water diversions are necessary No sand or cement needed

For a FREE no obligation quote & site survey call:

952 516 218 / 660 792 282 O r v i s it our n ew we b si te

www.gabionspain.com / gabionspain@gmail.com


Cómpeta Properties S.L. Always at your service

Avda. Sayalonga 24B, Cómpeta (Málaga) Tel: (0034) 952 516 107 Avda. Constitución 37B, Cómpeta (Málaga) Tel: (0034) 952 55 35 89 www.competaproperties.com info@competaproperties.com Cómpeta

105,000€

Ref: TH234 Beautiful townhouse fully modernised by the current owners to a high standard. Very convenient location, close to all local amenities. 3/4 beds, 1 bath, 80 m2 build. Two terraces. Parking available directly outside the property

Cómpeta

Reduced to 106,000€

Ref: AP066 Attractive, centrally located, second floor apartment. This is an excellent opportunity to purchase a comfortable apartment in a very convenient location. 3 beds, 1 bath, 75 m2 build. Stunning views over the village and the mountains and down to the Mediterranean.

Cómpeta

Reduced to 135,000€

Ref: TH244

Stunning, centrally located, townhouse renovated with care and attention to detail retaining charm and traditional features while adding modern day comfort. 2 beds, 1 bath, 80 m2 build. The property is currently very popular with holidaymakers coming to the area. Has to be seen!!

"The team at Cómpeta Properties S.L. would like to wish you all the best for 2011". Almayate

Ref: F071

175,000€ Canillas de Albaida

Pretty property just a 10 minute walk to the beach and 5 minute drive to the centre of Torre del Mar. This property is very private and secluded and gives the feeling of being away from the hustle and bustle whilst still having everything so close. 1 bed, 1 bath, 80 m2 build, 2,075 m2 plot.

229,000€

Cómpeta/Torrox Reduced to 324,500€

Ref: TH235

Ref: V203

Impressive and very spacious townhouse located in the upper part of the village with fantastic views over the pretty village, verdant countryside, down to the coast and up to the Sierras. 2 beds, 2 baths, 105 m2 build + garage and terraces. Must be seen!

Lovely newly built villa situated in a sheltered valley and within ten minutes of Cómpeta. 4 beds, 3 baths, 150 m2 build, 2,500 m2 plot. Swimming pool, under floor heating, wood burning stove and air conditioning make it perfect for all year round residence.

New properties required!!

if you have a house for sale or are thinking of selling, please contact us for a valuation

In conjunction with Cómpeta Properties S.L. Construction & Services “Care and quality combined” Avda. Sayalonga 24A, Cómpeta (Málaga) Tel/Fax: (0034) 952 55 34 35 celefernandez@competaproperties.com


46

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Personality Test Imagine yourself driving along on a wild stormy night. You pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus. 1) An old lady who is about to die 2) An old friend who once saved your life 3) The perfect man (or woman) you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady because she is going to die and thus you could save her first, or you could take the old friend because he/she once saved your life and this would be the perfect chance to pay them back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again. Answers could vary depending on the personality. However, there is a perfect answer. If you are a person who would think “out the box” you would answer: “I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the old lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman (or man) of my dreams.”

Advertise in this space from 25 euros per month Call: 664 210 468

You Are What You Eat Just a bit of friendly advice girls.............. this woman is 51. She is a TV "health guru" advocating a holistic approach to nutrition and ill health, promoting exercise, a pescetarian diet high in organic fruits and vegetables. She recommends detox diets, colonic irrigation and supplements, also making statements that yeast is harmful, that the colour of food is nutritionally significant, and about the utility of lingual and faecal examination. this woman is 50. She is a TV cook, who eats nothing but meat, butter and deserts. So forget "join a gym and eat more celery". This year make your New Year´s Resolution, to eat food and drink booze all the way. And the only exercise you need is dancing! Happy New Year Girls!

Weston Kennels & Cattery Fully Licensed Kennels

A real home from home for your pets Over 18 years experience Collection Service Long stays our speciality We also have CAS dogs & cats looking for a home tel: 951 254 134 952 030 036

Email: terrygweston@yahoo.com we are on the torrox - Competa road, 100m from Pavo real


ref. 5095

torrox apartment 40m2

On the 8th floor in Torrox Costa modern, south facing and fully equipped studio apartment. The apartment block has an elevator, letterboxes, secure entrance area and a beautiful communal garden with a very large swimming pool & tennis court. An ideal place for an uncomplicated holiday in beautiful Torrox.

Price 115,000€

ref. 5066

Cómpeta townhouse 60m2

This extraordinary townhouse with flair & imagination has been used to create a special ambiance which gives the property a distinct feel. 1 bed, kitchen, bath & a large roof terrace. Sold furnished.

Price 110,000€

ref. 5102

Cómpeta

Villa 115m2

Unique, private & balcony location in walking distance of Cómpeta. This elegant villa with 3 beds is located in an elderly urbanization and has great access, pool, carport, heating system, completely renovated, land 600 m2.

Price 370,000€

ref. 5007

Cómpeta

Finca 270m2

ref. 5088

Cómpeta

Villa 231m2

Well constructed and well maintained villa with panoramic views, located in walking distance of the village of Cómpeta. 3 beds, living & dining room, pool, heating system & airconditioning. The property is sold fully furnished and is ready to take over and enjoy. Land 4800 m2.

Price 450,000€

ref. 4798

sayalonga Finca 105m2

RENOVATED, AUTHENTIC finca with This modernised old world finca, 2 beds, separate guesthouse, pool & situated in the hills above Sayalonga, terrace area on different levels. The brings you in touch with nature. 2 beds finca has been carefully restored. 10 & self contained guesthouse, minutes drive from Cómpeta and good good-sized pool and fabulous views to access. Beautiful views to the the coastline. A gem of a property, mountains, and the soft valley. Sold very unique and full of character. partly furnished, land 2785 m2.

Price 325,000€

Price 260,000€


Chiringuito Friday Market Chiringuito Antonio, Puente Don Manuel Every Friday 10am - 1.30pm if you are feeling a little fed up or jaded after all the Christmas Festivities, then we have the perfect pick me up..... Come and spend a morning with us at the Friday market and beat the January blues.. with over 25 stalls to choose from you can be certain to bag yourself a bargain! NEw! Bacon roll (with English bacon) and a Coffee is only 2.50â‚Ź at antonio's bar. where else can you find a deal like that? If you have something interesting to sell and would like to join us at the market as a stall holder then contact

Dale on 952 553 810 or 697 258 400 Remember I only charge 5â‚Ź a pitch! Or alternatively, if you would like any information on what's happening in and around the farmers markets, then feel free to check out the website at: www.farmersmarketspain.com


PEUGEOT COMAU SHARES IN SAT.CO SUCCESS

Frank Molina of Peugeot Comau of Velez Malaga is seen handing over the keys to a third vehicle to the manager of sat.Co tom Proctor. Frank said, “It is a pleasure to be associated with a successful company like Sat.Co”. Tom Proctor said “It is great that a Company like Peugeot Comau can provide us with excellent vehicles and expert servicing and maintenance in order to keep our 7 days a week callout service to our customers working”.

PEUGEOT COMAU & SAT.CO WORKING TOGETHER Satellite and Terrestrial T V Tel: 657 484 853 TV www.satcoeurope.com

We welcome you to inspect, select & collect from our SHOWROOM at LAKE VIÑUELA In order to give clients individual attention please phone for an appointment before visiting. We are situated at KM29 (on right) off A356 1km past Camping & Pantano Restaurant. We are signposted from there. FREE PLAYMAT OR TOY FOR THE DURATION OF THE HIRE.

From bouncy chairs to buggies, stairgates to sterilisers. Everything you need for when little ones come to visit.

PHONE DAWN ON: 627 931 360 WEBSITE: www.nurseryneeds.com EMAIL: dawn@nurseryneeds.com


From 120€

From 150€


January tip

Caterpillars!!!

Nov. to Feb. is the best time to spray this upsetting and dangerous plague in pine trees. Call us we can help!

We offer garden design and general maintenance including: Automatic Irrigation Systems Drainage, Pest Control Garden and Pool Maintenance Pergolas, Printed Concrete


POOL TABLE

BAR ATiLA

INTERNET ACCESS FREE WI-FI

Kitchen open Mon, Tues, Wed & Fri 10am - 9pm Sat 12pm - 8pm Sun 12pm - 5pm Until 10th January we will open at 12pm Closed Thursdays throughout January SUNDAY ROAST DINNERS!! from 9th January 3 courses 9.95€ - Lamb, Beef or Pork with 4 veg & all the trimmings

Jo, Family & staff would like to say a big thank you to all for your custom over the last year and wish you a very Happy & Prosperous 2011 Tuesday nights - 8.30pm - Quiz Wednesdays - 2pm - Pool Club Thursday nights - 8.00pm - Bingo Happy Hour - Mon - Fri 6pm - 7pm (Mahou 1.25€ pint, non-branded spirit & mixer 1.75€) Draught Worthingtons - 3€ Draught Carling - 2.50€ Draught Strongbow - 3€

SKY SPORTS

All Live football shown Premiership games & lower leagues 4pm game every Saturday

ESPN

All in FULL HD!! For information or bookings call: 685 552 529 C/Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel www.atilas.freezoka.com


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The Most Dangerous Toys Ever Made

You could be forgiven for thinking that we're all living in a society overrun by ludicrous health and safety regulations. But if you needed evidence of why we've ended up wrapped in red tape, then the best place to start is with the humble toy – and how lethal they can be. Many have either been pulled from shelves, recalled in their thousands, or out-and-out banned; and in hindsight you are forced to gawp at the sheer ignorance involved in their release onto an unsuspecting world. Below are the 4 most dangerous toys ever... Gilbert u-238 Atomic Energy Lab Year: 1951-1952 What was it? The ultimate educational set that taught children how to get the most out of, erm, Uranium. This $50 (about £440 in today's money) science kit featured four lots of uranium ore for your beloved sprog to dabble with. To ensure that these weren't

duds, you could use the Geiger counter included to measure the ore's radioactivity and order more uranium using a coupon. And to round out the experience, a book entitled 'Prospecting for Uranium' was included, with details of a US government initiative that paid $10,000 (equivalent to almost £90,000 today) if little Johnny discovered any uranium deposits in the garden. Lawn Darts Year: 1950s-1988 What was it? A popular American garden game that saw players throw large darts up into the air, hoping to land them in a circular target to score points. It did what?!? Said darts were big, heavy and had sharp metal tips. While they were banned from US toy departments and stores in 1970, and featured labels telling parents to keep them away from children, the darts were inevitably still finding their way into the hands (and heads) of over enthusiastic kids.

Do You. Care ? Care working in the UK - Country Cousins is the UK’s leading private care specialist introduction agency, providing live-in care mainly for the elderly and infirm, enabling people to remain in their own homes for longer

Many Country Cousins live here in Spain returning to the UK frequently or every now and then for two weeks or more assignments. If you are interested in earning between £945 - £1,200 for 15 days (one client) or £1,020 - £1,560 (two clients) by becoming a Country Cousin, please call Jennie or Barry for more information on: 625 807 504 or 952 115 305 (evenings)


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The Most Dangerous Toys Ever Made After an estimated 6,100 injuries, and the deaths of two children, lawn darts were finally banned in their metal-pointed form in the USA. Aqua Dots/Bindeez Year: 2007 What was it? An arts and crafts set that lets kids make designs out of small beads, and then 'glue' them together with a simple spray of water. It did what?!? A massiveselling product (and Australia's toy of the year 2007), a harmless glue compound was supposed to be used to coat the beads. However, it was reported in 2007 that in some cases the wrong compound was applied during manufacture, and instead the affected beads were coated in a toxic chemical that, once ingested by a child, could produce the same effects as taking the date-rape drug GHB; cue children in the US and Australia starting to suffer appalling symptoms, in some case falling into comas.

Thankfully all the tiny tots fully recovered, and the toys were pulled from shelves - over 4 million from America alone. After some strict revisions and re-testing to the chemicals used, the product was renamed and re-released in 2008. Sky Dancer Year: 2000 What was it? A flying doll that kids could shoot up into the air using the doll's launcher. It did what?!? Unfortunately, the doll had a horrible habit of being “unpredictable� once airborne, happily flying its way into wideeyed adults and children alike, causing a reported 150 injuries, including one broken rib and some temporary blindness. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were recalled in 2000 because of the doll's kamikaze tendencies. Be careful out there!!!


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Eat Fruit We all think eating fruit means just buying fruit, cutting it up and popping it into our mouths. It's not that easy. It's important to know how and when to eat fruit. what's the correct way to eat fruit? Do not eat fruit after a meal! Fruit should be eaten on an empty stomach. Eating fruit like that plays a major role in detoxifying your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities. Fruit is the most important food. Let's say you eat two slices of bread, then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it's prevented from doing so. In the meantime, the whole meal rots and ferments, and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach, and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil. Eat your fruit on an empty stomach, or before your meal! You've heard people complain: Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc. This will not happen if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach. Fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas. Hence, you bloat! There's no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruit be-

comes alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter. If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruit, you have the Secret of Beauty, Longevity, Health, Energy, Happiness and normal weight. When you need to drink fruit juice drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT the concentrated juice from the cans. Don't drink juice that has been heated. Don't eat cooked fruit; you don't get the nutrients at all. You get only the taste. Cooking destroys all of the vitamins. Eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it. You can go on a 3-day fruitfast to cleanse your body. Eat fruit and drink fruit juice for just 3 days, and you will be surprised when your friends say how radiant you look! KIWI: Tiny but mighty, and a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E and fibre. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange! AN APPLE a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants and flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C, thereby helping to lower the risk of colon cancer, heart attack and stroke. STRAWBERRY: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits and protect the body from cancercausing, blood vessel-clogging free radicals.


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57

Eat Fruit EATING 2 - 4 ORANGES a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent and dissolve kidney stones, and reduce the risk of colon cancer. WATERMELON: Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system. Also a key source of lycopene, the cancerfighting oxidant. Also found in watermelon: Vitamin C and Potassium. GuAVA & PAPAYA: Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fibre, which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, good for your eyes.

Drinking Cold water after a meal = Not good for you. Can you believe this? For those who like to drink cold water, this applies to you. It's nice to have a cold drink after a meal, however, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you've just consumed, which slows digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Breast & Body Screening Medical Thermography

handcrafts arabic sweets Vast selection of artisan furniture and many beautiful gift ideas

Janet van Dam

618 989 125 w Non Invasive w Pain Free w Radiation Free w Reliable Centro Mar y Salud, El Morche 952 532 065 617 913 196 Tuesdays & Thursdays 11.00 - 17.00

Princesa 3, torre del Mar tel: 952 54 16 97 www.arte-sano.eu

PREVENTION & EARLY DETECTION www.medical-thermography.org


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g n i z a Am mals Ani

t ka loo that a ke ow e ta n’t kn w r o go! ea s d atches. w Yentist e Bon e N i h the ich sc t… T n i u h o see l w ab To anima uch m an Bongos have spiral horns.

from watching bongos in zoos, or by studying salt licks near forests where they live. Bongos run very fast and they can jump very high.

They live in central African forests.

Bongos eat the charred wood of trees struck by lightning. Biologists think they eat burned wood to get salt or minerals. They also eat plants, flowers, leaves, and cereals.

Biologists do not know much about bongos. They are very hard to catch or track or observe.

Leopards and hyenas prey upon bongos.

All we know about bongos has been learned

Dr. Mike Loomis, a vet from the N.C. Zoo, and other biologists have tried to put satellite track

Bongos are light to dark brown, and have yellow-white stripes and markings. Bongos are the largest antelopes.

OTop Quality G Kitchens Kitchens at sensible prices RANGE

ROVE

The savings we make by not having a high street shop or sales staff are passed on to you. I´m confident we can beat any high street quote. Let us quote for your kitchen. What have you got to lose?? Tel: 610 683 951 661 713 238 email:lastgamesoon@hotmail.com

References & visits to past customers available. Kitchens to suit all budgets


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59

Amazing Animals (Continued)

Border Patrol Alert

ing collars on bongos in Cameroon. They first tried this in 2002, but could not catch a bongo! They tried again in 2003, and caught Zhanar (said like Jenna). They got data from Zhanar’s collar for over a year.

The British Border Patrol Police are asking citizens to keep on the lookout for a red 1951 Chevy that they suspect is being used to smuggle illegal immigrants from Calais to Dover, through the Channel Tunnel.

In 2004 they collared another bongo, a male named “Glenda” in honor of Dr. Loomis's wife. Glenda’s collar failed after two months. This is a common problem. Biologists hope to learn more about bongos through the satellite tracking collars.

If you see the vehicle, pictured below. and have reason to believe that it is the suspect vehicle, you are urged to contact your local police.


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The Hair & Beauty Studio Anniversary The Hair and Beauty Studio, situated in Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, has thrived this past year. Since the salon moved locations one year ago to a new spot just a couple of doors down, Sarah, the Hair and Beauty Studio’s owner, and her staff have pulled out all the stops to ensure customers receive professional and relaxing service. Sarah and her team would like to thank all their customers both old and new for supporting them in their first year. “If you have not been to visit us yet, then please pop in as we offer numerous new treatments including teeth whitening, collagen facials, semi permanent makeup, advanced cos-

metic procedures, electrolysis and lots more,” Sarah says.“We also have an excellent hairdressing team of four and a qualified sports and remedial therapist. We are open six days a week from Monday to Saturday and late nights by appointment only.” Sarah would like to invite all her clients and friends to come celebrate the salon’s success on Saturday the 29th January at 1pm for drinks, nibbles and music by Tony, Gary and Katie. The salon will also offer a special in January. For every 100€ spent in the salon during January, you will be entered into a free prize draw. So, good luck! We look forward to seeing you.

BriNg a tOY FOr a ChiLD aND rECEiVE 50% DisCOUNt ON graDUatED gLassEs*

C/Del Mar, 62 29740, torre del Mar tel: 951 28 30 75

avda. de Velázquez, 64 29004, Málaga tel: 951 21 27 70

*NOt tO BE UsED iN CONJUNCtiON with aNY OthEr OFFEr


THE HAiR & BEAUTY STUDio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel (along from Morenos)

Beauty Treatments

Pedicures w Manicures w Collagen Facials w Hopi Ear Candles w Acrylic & Gel Nail Extensions w Teeth Whitening w Eyelash Perming w Aromatherapy Massage w Semi Permanent Makeup w Reiki w Waxing w Self Tan Treatment w Reflexology and Lots More!!

Qualified Sports & Remedial Therapist. (BSC Hons; RSA)

Specialising in soft tissue massage and manipulation inc. treatments for sciatica, back problems, tension headaches, muscle injuries as well as relaxing & lymphatic massage.

Come and join us for a drink and nibbles to celebrate our first year’s anniversary on Saturday 29th January from 1pm

Unisex Hairdressers our hairdressing team now consists of Emma, Karen, Danni & Carly. We are now open 6 days a week Monday - Saturday and also late nights by appointment only. Please call in or contact the Salon for a FREE consultation with one of our highly qualified Stylists.

Advanced Cosmetic Procedures & Electrolysis For the treatment of Moles, Thread veins, Milia, Skin tags, Blood spots, Warts, Veruccas and Age spots FREE CoNSULTATioN

Come and try our relaxing Hot Stone Massage Normal Price 35€ Now 30€ (1 hour treatment) Gift Vouchers available for all treatments

For all enquiries please call: 693 740 575


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I’m Still Waiting

Weight Watchers

I'm Still waiting....

Welcome to a new era of weight loss

I did what you told me... I sent the email to 10 people like you said. I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen.

After over three years of extensive research, Weight Watchers introduces the ProPoints plan, a completely new programme which more accurately reflects the real value of food and its impact on weight loss.

To all my friends who in the last year sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded

something, NONE OF THAT S*** WORKED! From now on, could you please just send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers. Thank you

“Most diets are dominated by calorie counting, but the ProPoints plan is different. It’s about how quickly your body processes different nutrients and which healthy foods help you to stay satisfied for longer. It has taken all the best nutritional science from around the globe and distilled it down into one simple, easy to follow programme. It nudges you to make healthier choices, without ever feeling like you’re depriving yourself. I can’t wait to see our members’ success in the coming weeks!” Candace area Manager for English meetings. For information on your nearest meeting tel: Customer Services on 900 818112 or online at www.weightwatchers.es “Meetings in English”, or call Candace 626 672 493 candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es


B O a r D i N g C at t E rY Canillas de aceituno

We offer safe, tranquil accomodation for your cat. Our pens are safe and secure but with all the comforts of home, making it very cosy. Only 20 mins from Torre del Mar, inland towards Vinuela, Campo Cats is a short 2 min drive from a main tarmac road which gives very good access. We welcome inspection visits where we can discuss your cat’s personal needs. (A 10% discount will be offered on your first booking) We only accept cats that are fully vaccinated. Also, we can provide a collection & delivery service. For further details, call Linda on: 665 510 735 www.campocats.com

kIELER JURGEN

RE ST SE U AU o A h RA k I B A R A NT E E R ST FET CA Specialities in Lamb, Spare Ribs & Steaks

New Winter menu with “German Specials” Pork Knuckle with Sauer Kraut - 10€ Crispy Duck with all the trimmings - only 12.50€ Wild Boar Goulasch - only 11€ Home made food available for Take Away (vacuum packed on the premises)

Private functions catered for with Special Menus Open 9am - 11pm (closed Tuesdays) Nr. Centro International 72, Bajo, Algarrobo Costa (opp. large swimming pool)

Tel: 952 511 881 or 648 943 872


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65

Iris Werner.com Imagine being able to use your balcony or terrace all year round no matter what the weather. Being able to sit with your family and friends and enjoy the view come rain or shine. Well this is not a dream with Iris Werner Glass Curtains! With its frameless balcony/terrace you can enjoy an extra warm, dry space whilst keeping your view! Our manufacturer, ICAP S.L., a company registered here in Spain, is dedicated to the manufacture of the ‘Topslide’ system of frameless glass curtains, using toughened glass for safety and security. The system caters to clients’ exact needs and uses mechanical parts made especially for ICAP S.L. according to its detailed specifications. The system can easily fit in most types of buildings and doesn’t require any vertical frames because it does not change the outer facade. Thus, your community will not be inconvenienced in any way by the installation of the system. Glass curtains give you a new room to use as you wish -- as a sun room, dining room – whatever you prefer. Having glass curtains can also save you money on heating costs during the cold winter months by accumulating the heat of the sun in your room. In the summer, they can be opened up completely to cool down a room. Also, because the panels open easily, they are simple to clean. ICAP-Glazings protect against rain, wind and dust as well as reduce street noise. Once you decide to choose Iris Werner Glass Curtains, we will make sure you are delighted with the end result. Your opinion is very important to us – and we hope that you will then recommend us to your friends! This system can be installed on any balcony or terrace. Only in very unusual circumstances will extra building work be necessary. The top rail is designed to ensure that every panel can be adjusted to fit perfectly. To open the glass

curtains, the individual panels are opened and moved to one side opening up the space completely. The curtains can be installed to pass around any corner of 90 degrees or more. The running mechanisms are designed to work perfectly even around corners. Therefore, nearly every shape can be fitted! And, all components are made of rust-free material. For the glass panels, you can choose several varieties of glass, and the profiles are available in different colours. Depending on opening height and wind pressure, we offer the following security glass: * Transparent * Tinted grey, bronze and green * Sun reflecting 30-35% of sunrays * More options upon request Available thicknesses of the glass: 6, 8 and 10mm. The standard colour of the profiles is white. Upon request, profiles are available in all colours of the RAL-colour-card. We also offer profiles in several wood tones. The most requested are oak, walnut and pine. Usually we can deliver within about three weeks after the order is placed, however, special requirements, such as coloured glass or profiles will take longer (approximately four to five weeks). We are a committed, highly motivated team with many years of experience in the window supply sector. We want to help you find the perfect, aesthetically pleasing solution for your balcony or terrace at a suitable price. We will propose a solution where everything fits--not only the price but also the performance and quality. And, of course, the system is easy to use. Customer service is very important to us. We will commit the time to make sure you are completely satisfied. For a no obligation written quote, call us now at 629 888 170 - and see for yourself what we can offer!


arkwrights The British Store & More Your No. 1 Stop Shop Open 7 days a week.

MAKE SURE YoU MAKE THE RiGHT MoVE & TURN RiGHT AT VENTA BAJA CRoSSRoADS To ARKWRiGHT’S

WE ARE THE LAST SHoP oN THiS PARADE

JANUARY OFFER

10% OFF

ALL PRODUCTS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF NEWSPAPERS, MAGAzINES AND REDUCED ITEMS, ALSO EXCLUDES OUR WEEKLY OFFERS.

DURING JANUARY

50% OFF ALL CHRISTMAS ITEMS, DECORATIONS, CARDS, CHOCOLATES, CAKES ETC. NOW SELLING PHONE CARDS & CHIPS FOR MOBILES FOR CHEAPER CALLS TO EUROPE & REST OF WORLD

the Parcel Force to be reckoned with

Sending or Collecting items from UK or Europe

winter opening hours: Monday - saturday 9am - 7pm sunday 10am - 4 pm


arkwrights

Where you are Number ONE. Not one of a number. Puente don Manuel WE WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF OUR CUSTOMERS FOR THEIR CONTINUED SUPPORT WITH THE MALAGA CHILDREN’S HOME. WE HAVE HAD SOME GENEROUS SUPPORT FROM A LOT OF CUSTOMERS, SO MANY OF YOU HAVE BROUGHT IN YOUR ODD CHANGE, THESE ODD COINS ANNOY EVERYONE, BUT HAS MADE A MOUNTAIN OF DIFFERENCE TO THESE UNFORTUNATE CHILDREN. PRESENTS ARRIVED IN ABUNDANCE, ALSO UN-NEEDED ITEMS FOR THE HOME’S CAR BOOT, NOTHING IS TURNED AWAY. THERE HAS BEEN SO MUCH GENEROSITY, WE HAD ONE CUSTOMER WHO RAISED 80€ BY DOING A QUIz AND ANOTHER GAVE US A CHEQUE, EVEN THE CHILDREN GIVE THEIR CHANGE WHEN SHOPPING. WE ARE SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCH LOVELY CUSTOMERS. WE SHALL CONTINUE TO COLLECT FOR THE CHILDREN ALL THROUGH THE YEAR, ONCE AGAIN A VERY BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE.

We would now like to wish everyone A very Healthy, Happy and Prosperous New Year. IN FEBRUARY JEAN SAMPSON FROM THE RIGHT LIFESTYLE WILL BE VISITING THE SHOP ON 12TH & 19TH TO BRING YOU SOME GREAT IDEAS AND TIPS ON HEALTHY COOKING. SO WHY NOT POP IN AND SAMPLE SOME OF THE LOVELY FOODS THAT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR YOU TO TRY, YOU WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY THE PRODUCTS TO MAKE THESE DELICIOUS MEALS. WE ARE TRYING TO GET HEALTHY FOR 2011, OBVIOUSLY THIS WILL NOT SUIT EVERYONE, BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WISH TO SAMPLE THESE DELICIOUS MEALS, THIS IS AN IDEAL OPPORTUNITY. JEAN WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO GIVE ADVICE AND TIPS. WE ONLY CLOSE TWO DAYS OF THE YEAR, CHRISTMAS DAY & NEW YEAR’S DAY, WE DO NOT CLOSE FOR SPANISH OR BRITISH HOLIDAYS

952 519 780

we accept all major credit cards Find us on the web: www.arkwrights-groceries.com


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Dreams Zzzzzz Dream Work - 3 Tips to Defining Your Dreams While there are many studies, theories and research conclusions that have defined what dreams are and where they come from, it still remains popular that we have general "types" of dreams that can be categorised and knowing which category your dream falls into can help you interpret what they mean. Categories can vary based on the source of the studies but here are a few popular categories that can help you make sense of your dreams. 1) Emotional release Dreams Stress and worry can create a hotbed for scattered, hard-to-remember, emotionally charged dreams that are often frustrating or even angry in context. At times they could be considered nightmares, but most often, they are dreams that are remembered less with detail, and more with the energy of "fighting" or having to do "battle", whether it's in a physical sense or verbal. In situations of grief, emotional release dreams help the person work through their subconscious and residual feelings as a way to find healing. 2) Lucid Dreams - Unlike Emotional Release Dreams, Lucid Dreams come in a very different form. They are often quick, yet feel lengthy time wise, and are incredibly vivid. Lucid Dreams can often be recalled months and even years later on with accurate detail as if it just happened moments before. The passage of time really doesn't hinder the intensity of the dream. Interestingly though, Lucid Dreams are often heavily laden with symbolism and appear to have many random things interlinked in bizarre associations that take time to decipher. What we have discovered, is that with Lucid Dreams there is a camouflaged blend of both symbolic and literal references which helps to explain why these dreams are often confusing 3) transmission Dreams - Similar to Lucid Dreams, Transmission Dreams are often just as vivid and memorable but include a context of communication between the person dreaming, and someone or something else. For ex-

ample, one of the most beautiful examples is through After Death Communication in which a loved one visits the dreamer in his or her dream to share a message. One example comes from a woman who had a dream her grandmother was standing at the end of her bed, calling out her name, and telling her to get up, that there was fire in the house. When the woman woke, she found her room filled with smoke and immediately took steps to get out of the house and call the Fire Department. With all dreams, it's important to write down what you experience which encourages your subconscious mind to remember your dreams more frequently. From there, you will have all the recorded details you will need so that you can interpret what your dreams are trying to show you. Don't be afraid to go deep and wide with it. By Debbie Edwards

saXon s.l JcB digger Hire velez-Malaga Area sErvicEs

*LAndscAPE GArdEninG *cArPEntry * stOrM dAMAGE *LAndsLidEs And trAcK cLEArinG *PLUs ALL MAnnEr OF diGGinG UndErtAKEn

662 39 83 72 / 678 23 22 53 Email: saxonsl@live.co.uk


‘Marich’ 3 idiomas Services Language School

Spanish Lessons

English & German Lessons

interpretation Services

opening in February 2011 Located in Puente Don Manuel at the Periana Crossing between Panaderia Juanito and above the Vets for Spanish, English or German lessons

Please contact and ask for more info: Maria Azucena CHACiN Tel.: 645 197 910 Email: azucenach@inbox.com


Pino Electricidad special Offer:

26,95€

special Offer from:

79,95€ OiL raDiatOr Max 700W Thermostat

special Offer:

59,95€

special Offer:

97€ gas hEatEr Max. 4200W 3 power levels

special Offer:

29,95€

hEatED  tOwEL raiL Easy to mount Dries & warms

raDiatOr Heats like the sun Saves energy

DEhUMiDiFiEr Releases 600ml per day

special Offer:

49,95€

MiCrOwaVE 700W 440x335x258mm 5 power levels

special Offer:

34,95€

waLL hEatEr 2 levels of heat 1kw & 2kw Cold air function

UPLightEr & sPOts 3 different colours Silver, Gold or Brown special Offer:

39,95€

Custudio Puga, 9-a tOrrE DEL Mar tel: 95 254 03 92 Fax: 95 254 32 93


To advertise call 664 210 468

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Psychic Medium Energy Healer Adventures Of A Psychic By Mark Bajerski, aka ‘The Accidental Psychic’

My name is Mark Bajerski and they call me ‘The Accidental Psychic!’ If someone had told me that at the age of 41 I’d be reading people’s futures and healing their pain, I’d have said, “Keep taking your medication!” However, now I never underestimate the power of change and here’s how it all began… Three years ago my life was in tatters. I was deeply unhappy and I had no idea why, but in my deepest despair came my greatest joy. One summer’s day I helped a lady who needed a caring ear. Little did I know that she’d change my life forever. “Would you like be to shown your psychic abilities?” she asked. “What psychic abilities?” I said, intrigued. She smiled and said, “Google me!’ I spent over two weeks learning all about this lady. Her client list includes celebrities such as Tom Cruise and the FBI frequently call her to help solve murder cases. My new mentor told me things about myself which made total sense, then she showed me my gift. This didn’t shock me at all. It felt as if I knew all along and for the first time in my life I was a good pupil. One and a half years passed and I developed my skills using the powerful tool of tarot and a healing technique called Prana energy. I also learnt many other aspects of para-psychology and metaphysics. Soon my mentor told me I was ready to work in the public domain and in October 2009 I participated in one of the largest psychic events on the Costa del Sol. I set up my stand next to some of the most famous mediums and psychics in Spain and I took it all in my stride. My first future reading was with one of the healers at the show and since then the word about my abilities spread like wild fire. The word had leaked - I was the hottest psychic on the coast! See main advert opposite

Pinguinitos Swim School Nerja *Classes for all ages of children starting from 3 months *UK qualified teacher *Technique clinic for older children *Small friendly classes *Private adult lessons available Call: 662 463 452 www.swimbabynerja.com


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The Chalk Guy Is Back!! More unbelievable chalk drawings on pavements!

Ink Cartridges Compatible or Original

Epson compatible ink cartridges 6.00â‚Ź each Visit us at the Farmers markets Trapiche = Tuesday Puente Don Manuel = Friday For orders and delivery please contact:

636 298 538 sales@printerink.es


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73

Why Oh Why Oh Why? Have you ever wondered…

town, or his pony Macaroni?

Why did she sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

Why are elderly people often called “old people” but children are never called “new people?”

Why do we sing “Rock a bye baby” to lull our little ones to sleep when the song is about putting a baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle to the ground?

How come whenever you start to sing, you automatically sing in a higher voice than you talk? Why it is called a “building” when it is already built?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Where in the Nursery Rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Why when people ask you “what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?” no one ever replies, “A boat.”

What if the Hokey-Cokey really is what it’s all about?

Did Yankee Doodle name the feather, hat, Ladies and Gents clothing, shoes and accessories at affordable prices. UK high street and designer brands.

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

DIVAS

Boutique & Emporium

Lingerie and Swimwear, costume jewellery, Nusta bracelets and charms.

Pure Silver Hand Made Snow flakes

Opening Hours: Monday closed Tuesday - Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 3pm Puente don Manuel, Alcaucín (next to Moreno´s Bar)

Tel: 618 928 852 January Sale!! UP TO 50% OFF!! Large private room to rent on an hourly basis. Ideal for Spanish lessons, art or dance classes.

Call Karen or pop in.

Property Sales & Rentals Property Management / Maintenance Investment opportunities on property in the Caribbean VIE Cosmetics and Homeware Tel: 666 135 516 www.spanishmanagement.com

FOLLOw Us ON FaCEBOOk - DiVas BOUtiQUE & sPaNish MaNagEMENt

www.preciousjewellerybykaren.co.uk


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Algarrobo

Our fourth Axarquia village is Algarrobo, named after the Carob Tree and it is also one of the villages visited on the route of Sun and Wine. Natives of the town are called Algarrobeños. You have to be careful when arranging to meet someone there. You must specify whether you mean Algarrobo Costa or Algarrobo Pueblo as you could end up waiting 3 klms in the wrong location! The Costa has a lovely promenade with bars and restaurants and many foreign residents can be seen cycling or power walking with their Nordic walking poles whilst fisherman bring their boats back to rest on the sand after an early morning fishing spree. Two different worlds rubbing along quietly together. As you drive into the Pueblo you can admire the new fountain on a circle of grass. There are plenty of parking spaces along the side and top end of the large attractive park and you can leave your car there while you stroll through the village. If you want a peaceful walk then make sure you don´t go at lunchtime when the village sounds like a race circuit as the residents come home from work with their tyres screeching on the hot tarmac.

As the streets are not much wider than the cars you will spend most of your time ducking into doorways to avoid getting squashed! The winding streets become quite steep in places and little dogs will usually escort you as you continue on your way. Many of houses have beautiful plants and flowers in their doorways and balconies and the streets are bedecked with a panoply of colour. The Rio Algarrobo passes through the village and after a wet winter the sound of running water refreshes the soul. Like many Axarquia villages this one has prehistoric origins with historical evidence of human settlements from the Bronze Age. The main attraction is the parish church of Santa Ana with its bell tower, built in the 17th century but originally dating back to 1505 and in the municipal boundary are two watchtowers Torreladeada from the Islamic era and Torrenueva, a 16th century military fort. Interesting times to visit the Pueblo are the patron saint´s Feria on 20th January which begins with a procession from the chapel of San Sebastian to the parish church. During the second half of August when they hold the flamenco festival or at the beginning of September for the traditional bonfires and harvesting. After the grape treading the Verdiales de Algarrobo are danced in country houses where the musical instruments used are castanets, guitar and mortar and percussion using an empty anisette bottle. Algarrobo is situated 37 kilometres from Málaga

Property Of The Month

AS2424 Los Romanes 199,000 €

Absolutely charming 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa with mature gardens, lake views and swimming pool. Walking distance to all the restaurants and amenties of the village. Must be seen to be appreciated.


wE haVE CLiENts LOOkiNg FOr PrOPErtY with sEa ViEws. iF YOU haVE PrOPErtY FOr saLE Or rENt CaLL saLLY ON: 626 038 851

Email: sally@axarquiaproperties www.axarquiaproperties.com

sally harrison Owner / agent

AS2423 Santa Cruz de Comercio 89,000€ Two bedroom house with courtyard and roof terrace

AS2421 Canillas de Aceituno 275,000€ 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom country house with pool

AS2420 Viñuela 275,000€ 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa with pool and garage

AS2418 Mezquitilla 295,000€ 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with communal pool and garage

AS2417 Colmenar 575,000€ 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house with 32,000m2 of land

AS2425 Pueblo Ana Maria 295,000€ 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom villa with pool and lake views

Happy New Year!!


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Doctor Stories True life happenings from the Doctor’s Surgery… A man came into the ER yelling, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," she remorsefully replied. Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news

when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA

THE MOSQUITO SCREEN COMPANY with a MaNUFaCtUriNg FaCiLitY iNtrODUCiNg 2 NEw MOsQUitO sCrEENs tO sPaiN thE MagNEtiC iNsECt sCrEEN

l Top of the range 100% insect proof l Magnetic seal allows simple window operation l PVC Frame fastens to window or brickwork l Easy to fit or remove for cleaning l Suitable for domestic & commercial applications l For the DIY enthusiast, this screen can be ordered and comes with easy to follow

manufacturing and measuring instructions in English

thE aLUMiNiUM hiNgED sCrEEN *A simple but very effective screen *Powder coated decorative profile *Suitable for Internal or External applications *Also American style swing doors at the Mosquito screen Company, we now manufacture all types of screens, from aluminium sliders, roller Blinds and the above. we also deliver to the trade and public within 3 days of order.

NOW  INTRODuCING: Aluminium Double Glazed Windows & Doors Balcony Enclosures in Double Glazing or Mosquito Screening Come and see me at the Indoor Farmers Market Trapiche every Tuesday. We also guarantee we will not be beaten on price or quality. For more information or free quotation, please call:

Tel/Fax: 952 573 577 / 690 296 952 / 638 499 140 or 665 392 299 Email: the.mosquito.screen.company@gmail.com Or visit our website: www.mosquitoscreenco.com


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com . rld wo e th nd rou re!!! a e m fr o e a t h s t t an n’ aur I wo est

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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T ia ar

a -Z rld lar o w pu o the nd ery p u v o r . a r .. ou ing tion 6 in ecom stina 2 e b er mb ast st d g Nu t, is f touri L lis BU

Population - 7,576,751 Language - Bulgarian Located - SE Europe Capital - Sofia Currency - Lev religion - Christian Main Exports - Chemicals Literacy rate - 98% Life Expectancy - 74 years g.D.P. Per Capita - $12,066 total area - 110,993.6 km2 National sport - Football

Famous for - Bulgaria has established itself as a popular tourist destination, with 6 million tourists in 2009. Famous Bulgarians - Manchester United striker Dimitar Berbatov is the most well known Bulgarian of present times. Bulgarian inventor Peter Petroff, developed the first digital wristwatch of the world and John Vincent Atanassoff was the inventor of the first electronic computer. interesting Facts - Bulgaria is the oldest nation-state in Europe. In 1990, the Communist party gave up its monopoly on power, making way for democracy and free-market capitalism. The Bulgarian Air Force developed the first airdropped bomb in military history, during the First Balkan War. When Bulgarians shake their heads, it means yes and when they nod, it means no. Bulgaria ranks 3rd in Europe (after Greece and Italy) for its number of archaeological treasures.

EUROPEAN SOCCER SCHOOL No 1 DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME ON THE COSTA del SOL Over 5,000 participants - Boys & Girls

NERJA TORROX TORRE DEL MAR MALAGA MARBELLA Academy Programme (8-19yrs) -------------Soccer Skills Award (6-16yrs) -------------Adult Competitions -------------Tournaments & Tours ------------Player Analysis ------------Fitness Programmes ------------Scouting Network linked to clubs in England, Malta, Finland, USA & Spain Coach Education

Director of Coaching JEFF WOOD UEFA ‘A’ Licence

Ex Pro player with over 500 senior appearances in England, Denmark, Finland, Hong Kong, Malta & USA Manager/Coach: Charlton, Brighton, Barnet, Colchester, Orient, Finland, Malta & USA Academy Director: Charlton

For further details and registration Tel: +34 600 707 877 or email: jeffwoodgk@msn.com www.europeansoccerschool.eu


To advertise call 664 210 468 79

Body-Tec- Reflexology

What is reflexology?

Reflexology is complementary therapy, which works on the feet to heal the person as a whole, not just the prevailing symptoms. Whilst the art of reflexology dates back to Ancient Egypt, India and China, it wasn't until 1913 that Dr. William Fitzgerald introduced this therapy to the West as 'zone therapy.' He noted that reflex areas on the feet and hands were linked to other areas and organs of the body within the same zone. how can reflexology help me? Reflexology can be used to help restore and maintain the body's natural equilibrium. This gentle therapy encourages the body to work naturally to restore its own healthy balance. There is some suggestion that reflexology may aid:Stress-related conditions / Back Pain / Migraine / Fertility / Sleep disorders & Hormonal Imbalances. Reflexologists do not claim to cure, diagnose or prescribe. Each session of reflexology works on an individual basis. Many people use reflexology as a way of relaxing the mind and body and counteracting stress. Some doctors, consultants and other health care professionals recognise reflexology as a well-established, respected and effective therapy. With every increasing level of stress, it is important that people take more responsibility for their own health care needs. Reflexology helps us to cope on a physical, mental and emotional level by encouraging us to heal and maintain health in all areas of our lives. who can benefit from reflexology? Reflexology is suitable for all ages and may bring relief for a wide range of acute and chronic conditions. what can i expect during my treatment? The reflexologist will use his/her hands to apply pressure to the feet. The application and effect of the therapy is unique to each person. A professionally trained reflexologist can detect subtle changes in specific points on the feet, and working on these points may affect the corresponding organ or system of the body.

tel: 620 566 402

A treatment session usually lasts for about one hour. A course of treatment may be recommended depending on your body's needs. See main advert opposite


80

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Film iew R ev

the of r e e g ya ad Vo n tre e th Daw

Part 3 in the Narnia series of films, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, is slightly better than the first and second films, but only barely. World War II is still in full swing in the real world and the two youngest children, Edmund (Skandar Keynes) and Lucy (Georgie Henley), are staying with relatives while their older siblings are in America. It isn't long before the two are whisked away to Narnia again, this time accompanied by their unwilling cousin, Eustace (Will Poulter), a sour-faced brat who does not believe in Narnia even when he is standing in

MECHANICAL DOCTORS MECHANiCAL GARAGE

C/ de FraNsisCO de gOYa 43 POL. iND. La PaNOLEta VELEZ - MaLaga

tEL: 951 28 44 26 MOB: MiChaEL 671 758 375 mechanical_doctors@yahoo.co.uk

Edmund and Lucy are reunited with Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) on a ship, the Dawn Treader. Much of the film is set at sea, with appropriate swordplay. The whole gang embarks on a mission to find out where legions of innocent Narnians have been taken, daring to sail where no one has sailed before. The messages are basic and unobjectionable. Lucy, fast developing into a bright young lady, wishes she were prettier. Edmund, eager to prove his worth as a soldier, desires more power. Both are tempted by evil before learning to appreciate what they have and love themselves for who they are. Star Rating - ***/*****

REPAIRS TO ALL VEHICLES INCLUDING 4 X 4s & LIGHT COMMERCIALS -----QUICK SERVICE FOR OIL, BRAKES & CLUTCHES -----FULL DIAGNOSTIC CHECK - 40€ -----PRE ITV (MOT) AND PRESENT CAR FOR ITV -----COLLECTION & DELIVERY SERVICE AVAILABLE -----TYRE FITTING AND BALANCING -----RECONDITIONING OF ENGINES & GEARBOXES -----CAR & VAN HIRE -----VEHICLE TRANSPORTATION UK-SPAIN-UK


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

81

The True Story Clinton and Lewinsky - The true story

the bathroom.

Bill Clinton was hosting a state dinner, when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement at short notice.

Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the Mexican cook scratching his ass and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn’t remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain, when he finally found a door that opened. He hurriedly undid his trousers and ran in, whereupon he realised to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky’s office with his trousers around his knees!

The fellow arrived and he turned out to be a grubby looking Mexican. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of staff, but was told that this was the best they could provide at such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to his chief of staff about the cook, only to be told that this man was supposed to be a good chef. The meal went OK, but the President thought that the soup tasted a little off. He was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea which were getting worse and worse. He finally excused himself from the state dinner to look for

As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard him whisper in a barely audible voice... "Monica, please sack my cook!" And that is how the misunderstanding occurred.

The convenience of filtered drinking water at your kitchen sink with a quality under-counter water filter and stylish chrome tap FULLY FITTED FROM

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w Removes 99.95% of all metals and water born parasites

w Bacteria and scale inhibitor incorporated

w A water regulations approved product installed by a water regulations qualified plumber

3M LONG LIFE FILTER CARTRIDGES

ALL OThER PLUMBING WORK UNDERTAKEN BY NVQ AND GAS SAFE QUALIFIED ENGINEERS

TEL: 622 244 116 plumblocal@hotmail.co.uk


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Clever Wildlife

Ban Fox Hunting!!

The Winner at Dog Obedience School

24 Hour Long Term Secured Parking At the BP Petrol Station Malaga Airport. Holiday / Golf Parking 6€ per day tel: 658 940 502 Tlfn: (+34) 669 899 065 Email: acecarrental@hotmail.co.uk www.acecarrental.biz

Urb. Lomas del Sol nº4 Benajarafe Alto, 29790 MALAGA - SPAIN

Michael/Maria Reeve Airport pick-up and delivery

Long term winter car rates

from 375€

per calender month

aUtOCOOL The only mobile service specialising solely in car air-con systems. Get your a/c serviced now before next summer and before it lets you down. Have your headlights gone opaque or yellow? Before This is now a fail on After the ITV test so get them professionally refinished. For both services call Mike now on 951 321446 or 616 264067 www.autocoolspain.com

We Buy, Sell or Exchange almost anything for cash Wanted

Calle Puente don Manuel, 52 (next to Villa Solutions)

Wanted

Wanted

www.cashonthecosta.com tel: 952 519 779 steve: 680 176 323 Lisa: 680 180 468

No more mowing, watering or dead spots! Artificial grass is the solution for a unique ground covering. For more info or a free quotation

Call: 619 317 211 www.axarverde.com

Moroccan Adventure Tours 2/3/4 nights, coastal village. Chefchaouen and the Rif Mountains. included driver with 4x4. Ferry, top quality accommodation, meals & local guides. Groups of 2-10 people. Also available, escorted day trips to Andalucian white villages and mountain drives. Phone: 663 458 348 / 690 771 209


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

83 105

Through The Eyes Of A Microscope

Ant holding a microchip

Bacteria on the human tongue

Human head louse on a hair

Eyelash hairs on the eyelid

Bar Granada Free Wi Fi

Superb Front Line Views Sky Sports & ESPN Karaoke on Saturday Nights Draught Strongbow!!

Fish and Chips with Chip Shop curry sauce

PREMIERSHIP & ALL SPoRtS SHowN oN A 50� ScREEN

Food Served Daily inc. All Day English Breakfasts & Vegetarian options

tel: 651 444 872

www.athousehunter.com/bargranada/

Algarrobo costa

(closed thursdays)

Find us on facebook - Bar Granada


Do You Have Money Sitting In A Pension Fund or SIPPS That You Can’t Touch? Then Why Not Convert Your Stagnant Savings Into Income For Life?! The English Government has recently changed the law on SIPPS investments and private pensions. Under the new law investors can access their money to invest into commercial propert y operated under English law, such as propert y in the Caribbean.

Buy a 5 star luxury apartment or villa in St Lucia, St Vincents, Barbados or the Dominican Republic and increase your current pension fund income by 50% PLUS take advantage of capital appreciation at 35% per annum. Turn £50,000 into £130,000 within just 4-5 years and receive a rental income at the same time. You can also invest with cash, or via a mortgage whereby your monthly installments are paid for you!

If you’re interested in attending a seminar near you, or if you’d like to talk to an investment expert, call 610 976 284 or email info@thesentinella.com


The Garden Restaurant

In the month of January we will be closed Wednesdays & Thursdays

ear Y New thanks y p in hap rateful pport Served from 10.30am. d g ur su n a Full English only 6€ ll yo 2010 a r (2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 sausages, beans, tomatoes, fo

Breakfasts

mushrooms & 2 toast)

Half size - 4€

Dinner Dance (next 14th Jan)

Special 3 course menu inc. bottle wine per couple from 8pm 12€ per person

Sunday Roast Choice of 3 meats

(or combination of 2 meats)

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL! Various choices of Starters & Mains or Mains &Desserts including a glass of Wine or Beer Now inc Saturdays 6pm - 8pm

7.50€

1pm - 6.30pm 3 courses only 10€ A la carte menu from 7pm Please call for more information:

665 070 281 618 496 269 Available for private functions, Birthdays, etc. with special menus To Puente don Manuel or meals of your choice


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Brain Teaser You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off'. (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ... In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you... What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get off the merry-goround....you’re pissed!!

Esola Systems

Domestic and Commercial Air Conditioning (Heating and Cooling) Installations

Tel: 616 119 007 / 952 550 323

Exciting new offers on Panasonic Inverters!!


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

87 105

$$$ Share´oscope $$$ Year 2010 has come to a close, so it's time to see how Mr Stockmarket's picks faired up throughout the last 12 months. Here's a note of the gains or losses for each share.

John Wood Gp, gained 372.30€ Stagecoach Gp, gained 29.22€ Regency Mines, gained 67.22€

Synergy Healthcare, gained 377.20€ Dragon Oil, gained 139.69€ Inmarsat, loss of 64.86€ Greggs, gained 15.54€

So that's an overall gain for the year of 2,382.34€ which is just under 20 per cent profit. Mr Stockmarket said, "for 2011, I believe it's going to be a good year for oil and mining shares, so all the shares this year will be small oil or mining companies."

European Goldfields, gained 913.75€ Serco, loss of 9.29€ Imagination Tech, gained 402.21€ JPM Russian Secs, gained 262.26€ Ceres Power, loss of 64.90€

For January he has bought 416 Xcite Energy Limited shares at 240p per piece. Tune in next month to see how they are doing and to check out the chosen share for February. Please note that the investments we make are fictitious. Profits are not guaranteed, so please only invest what you can afford to lose.

Bar Triana TELEPHONE: 618 373 316 Benamargosa Road, Triana English Breakfast - Hot and Cold snacks - Quiz Night Tuesdays 8.30pm

Sunday 9th January

Sunday Lunch 1pm - 5pm Roast Beef or Chicken plus trimmings - 7.50€

Friday 21st January

Fish & Chips or Pie & Chips served 7pm - 10pm - 5.50€

Saturday 29th January

2 Course Meal - Steak, Chicken or Fish dinner served 8pm - 10pm includes one glass of wine or beer - 15€ Bookings please. SPECIAL OFFER: Wed, Thurs & Friday - San Miguel, Cruzcampo, Mahou or glass of wine only 1€. ***Tetley now on draught***


BUFFET - Oriental food: Chinese, Japanese, Thai, etc... Enjoy your food! Make your salads with the quantity and ingredients you want. Meat, fish, shellfish, vegetables, etc... Choose your own conbination of flavours which you like the most and we will prepare your wok right away, in front of you. Selection of sauces: Gon Bao; Tokyo; Thai; Sweet & Sour; Curry; Wok; Oyster; Peking. You can help yourself to as much food as you want. Our staff are on standby to attend to your needs. Hours: 12:30-4:30 (Buffet price 10.25€) 7:30-12:00 (Buffet price 12.25€)

Children's Menu: Under 4's - 3€ 4-7 year olds - 6€

El Ingenio Shopping Centre, Food Court, Avenida Juan Carlos I, Velez Malaga

Call: 665 827 341


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New Year Quotes Wise words from people around the world... May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions. Joey adams

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits. author Unknown

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. author Unknown

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Bill Vaughan

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of selfassessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. Eric Zorn

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. author Unknown

The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. P. J. O’rourke

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. John selden

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. Bill Vaughan

Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool. F. M. knowles

Oscar wilde

10€

10€ Hotties are the leading microwave heated hot water bottle. Safe and easy to use, Hotties are ultra convenient to use, with only a couple of minutes heating in the microwave, whilst staying warm for hours.

KEEP WARM THIS WINTER!

You can buy these at the following markets; Tuesdays - Trapiche Fridays - Puente don Manuel Call: 664 689 138 or email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

91

Getting Older.... The Benefits of Growing Older

erations.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

12. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 5. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 6. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. 9. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 10. Things you buy now won't wear out. 11. You enjoy hearing about other people's op-

13. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it. 14. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 15. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 16. You sing along with elevator music. 17. Your eyes won't get much worse. 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.


NER

Happy New Ye

et T u e sd a y M a rk Ink Cartridges Compatible or Original Epson compatible ink cartridges 6.00â‚Ź each

For orders and delivery please contact:

636 298 538


RJA

Advertise in this space Just 20 euros per month Includes short 4/5 lines of text

Call 664 210 468

ear Fro m Nerja

N e rj a C a v e s Microwave Hot Water Bottles You can buy these at the following markets; Tues - Trapiche Fris - Puente don Manuel Call: 664 689 138 email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk


94

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a j r Ne

? erja t. N n u ut i s o a b o e pl a c e d a n es Out eck th h C

Veritys hair and beauty salon has a special winter warmer offer to prepare those tootsies for the winter season! Book a hot paraffin wax pedicure for only 24€. Includes polish which is rich in essential oils leaving the skin softer whilst arthritis sufferers will benefit from the relaxing heat treatment which is medically acknowledged to help soothe aches and pains. A hot paraffin wax manicure is also on offer at 18.50€. Don´t miss out at Veritys January sale. Now offering a range of fuller figure ladies fashion. UK sizes from 16-32 designed with the real woman in mind! (No offense to our slimmer sisters!) Prices start at 12€ with brand names, Evans, M&S, C&A, Dorothy Perkins and BHS to name but a few. Something for every shape, size and age! Please call the salon on 680 740 545 to check Winter opening times and product availability as certain lines are expected to go quickly!. Start your New Year with a great way to keep fit and make new friends. Learn to dance with Yo Jive, Modern Jive classes. Modern Jive is a fusion of Jive, Salsa, Latin and a bit more. No can't dance or two left feet excuses!! It's easy, its fun and its a great way to meet new people. We can put a rhythm in your step and a smile on your face. You don't need a partner, come by yourself or bring a friend. Every Tuesday night starting at 8.30pm at El Ancla Del Cirilo, a fabulous location right on the beach in Torrox Costa on Calle Peñoncillo, N340 road between Torrox and Nerja. Beginners always welcome. If your car needs repairing, or you want to have it spray painted, visit Jonathon at artucolor. Artucolour is a general mechanics offering car body repairs and body painting. Come and see Glenn and Carlos at the Big garage. With over 40 years experience as mechanics, they speak English and Spanish and specialise in Land Rovers and 4 x 4's. They

can also give your car a full service. They use genuine Bearmach Land Rover parts and accessories and they're easy to find. As you head down from the motorway turn right at the new Lidl exit, keep right and you’ll see them straight in front of you. They're open all day, Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. Need ink cartridges? Compatible or Original. For orders and delivery please call 636 298 538 Locked yourself out of your house or having lock problems call the 24 hour emergency Locksmith. A fully qualified UK C&G Locksmith. Or simply call to book an appointment. Come and see our newly refurbished sports lounge bar, Olas. We are the only dedicated sports bar in Burriana and now have ESPN for NFL, American, German, Italian & Dutch football games as well as Premier Sports for Irish non-league and other varied sports. We are family friendly, and offer a menu to suit all, plus we have a wide range of beers. Join us on 16th January for our Quiz night from 7.30pm. Visit ink and Chips on C/Perez they have all that you need for your PC such as ink cartridges and perhipherals as well as laptop and printer sales. They also offer technical service 365 days a year. Need to advertise your business then call redhouse signs for shop, vehicle and window signage. Estate agency For Sale or Sold boards, logo design and magazine adverts. Don Juan on Avda. Mediterraneo serve breakfast, lunch and dinner and have great value tapas. Open from 10.30am (closed Tuesdays). Serving Roast dinners all day on a Sunday and they can also cater for private functions. Valentines Day is not far away so book now for your special Valentine’s dinner. hotties - Keep warm this winter with a Hottie. Hotties are the leading microwave heated hot water bottle. Call in to the Trapiche market and ask for the Cool Dude! For details see pages 92 & 93 for all businesses. Please mention The Sentinella.


VARIFOCAL LENSES

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Powers up to +-4.00, Supplements for hardening and anti-glare treatments from 40€

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Points Of Contention A few examples of contentious subjects Let's put all retired folk in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment & wheelchairs, etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, pijamas and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all with an exercise outdoor yard with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to. The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay ÂŁ900.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out. Justice for all we say. ------------------------------------------------------------Cows Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Bourne almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Lincolnshire? And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 225,000 illegal

immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow. ------------------------------------------------------------The 10 Commandments The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ..... It creates a hostile work environment ------------------------------------------------------------The British Constitution They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours? It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.


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99

Competition Time :) Well another year is over...

Other hamper winners at Arkwrights over the festive season are below;

On Monday 20th December at Arkwrights, Puente don Manuel at 6pm, Tony of The Sentinella supervised the drawing of the Christmas Hamper. We were very grateful to Irene Eastman who kindly pulled out the winner’s name.

Hazel

And the winner was Lisa Hillier of Alcaucín The correct answer was “Deck the Halls” Congratulations again and enjoy on us!!

Mrs. Eagles was the winner, collected by her sister.

BE M A ST THE G O CO N S TA !!


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Let’s Not Forget General Eisenhower warned us..... It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General

Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.

lum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet.. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 65 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. Six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beaten, experimented on and humiliated' while many in the world looked the other way! Now, more than ever with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

He did this because he said in words to this effect: 'Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened'

How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center

A few months ago, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school curricu-

'NEVER HAPPENED' because it offends someone???

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BEM idiomas Happy New Year or Feliz Año Nuevo! Yes another year has passed, and before we know it we will be saying the same again next year. I wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t talk about New Year’s Resolutions. By the time you read this, you will probably have already started yours. I was a bit previous this year, and those who have been following my article will know that a couple of months back I said that my resolution would be to learn one new Spanish word every day. Well... I had a dummy run in December, and this is much harder than I ever imagined. In fact, I didn’t even get to learn seven new words. Pretty bad, eh? So, I had another think to find something much more achievable, and this is what I came up with... A friend of mine, a Spanish woman named Gema has just started English lessons, although her English, in my opinion, is already great; however, she wants to learn it better. So I made a suggestion for us to meet once a week for a couple of hours, and she speak only English and myself only in Spanish; this way we can really help each other. Now everything I learn at

School of Languages sPaNish LEssONs learn spanish with experienced teachers

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my lessons at BEM idiomas in VélezMálaga, I can really start practicing with a friend. It will make it all that much more fun, while fulfilling my New Year’s resolution at the same time!! Isn’t it time you started Spanish lessons? Learn Spanish with experienced teachers at BEM idiomas in Vélez-Mélaga. Call Viviane today and start your New Year’s Resolution. Call: 952 54 92 33 Camino Viejo de Malaga, 12c VélezMalaga.


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103

The Reel Jiggers The Reel Jiggers Barn Dance Band or the Ceilidh Band - which one will it be? I had my own ideas about this, but then a dancer recently told me she thought “A barn dance is more fun than a ceilidh as you can go wrong and it does not matter ” So with this in mind, I decided to investigate the matter further using one of my favourite resources, Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Originally, a ceilidh was classified as a social gathering of any sort, which did not necessarily involve dancing. It was literary entertainment where stories, tales, poems and ballads were told and songs were sung. In modern usage, a Cèilidh or Céilí, is a traditional Gaelic social gathering, which usually involves playing Gaelic folk music and dancing. It originated in Ireland and Scotland. Before discos and nightclubs, there were Céilidhs in most town and village halls on Friday or Saturday nights. Céilidhs facilitated courting and prospects of marriage for young people, and they are still an important and popular social outlet in rural parts of Ireland and Scotland. Céilidh music involves an assortment of traditional folk instruments and in more recent times, drums and electric bass guitar. The music is cheerful and lively and the basic steps can be learned easily; a short instructional session is often provided for new dancers before the start of the dance itself. A barn dance is any kind of dance held in a barn, but it usually involves traditional or folk music with traditional dancing. It is a type of dance, originating in America and popular in Britain in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, derived from Schottische. Folk dancing events are also referred to as "barn dances," despite being held in locations other than barns. The term “barn dance” is usually associated with family and community-oriented events.

A Barn Dance can be a Ceilidh, with traditional Irish or Scottish dancing and people unfamiliar with either format often confuse the two terms. However, a barn dance can also feature Square dancing, Morris dancing, Contra dancing, English Country Dance dancing to Country and Western music or any other kind of dancing, often with a live band and a Caller. Like Barn Dances, English Ceilidhs always use a caller who calls the dance, figures the dancers need to make. So who are we: the Reel Jiggers Barn Dance Band OR the Ceilidh Band????? We have three musicians who play melodeon, guitar and mandolin. Our music is cheerful and lively and the basic steps can be learned easily. Also, there is a caller to provide short instructions before each dance. Our music includes traditional English, Irish, Scottish and American tunes and we play for community-oriented events. The dances include a variety of the ones mentioned for Ceilidhs and for Barn Dances. We have not yet played in a barn but are open to suggestions and more than happy to facilitate young people and courting couples!! If anyone would like to come along and do some literary entertainment, play a tune or sing a song, they are more than welcome to attend our El Cruce events; the next one will be Friday, the 28th January. Please book your spot in advance. In the end, we could use either title! But seeing as our evenings are fun for all ages and abilities and it does not matter if you go wrong, we will call ourselves a Barn Dance Band – it is easier to spell!!!!! Contact: Stuart 618 248 239 or Chris 651 338 612


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Mind, Body & Spirit The Law of Attraction January’s edition, coinciding with the seasonal preoccupation of making resolutions to change our lives for the better, is a timely opportunity to talk about this much publicised law. Subject of books like ‘The Secret’ (it’s actually no secret, but ancient knowledge), the law of attraction arises from the phenomenal power of our minds to intentionally bring about the conditions and circumstances in our life which we most desire. How can this be? How can something as nebulous as a thought lead, for example, to a new job or relationship, financial abundance, success, or sought after material possessions miraculously appearing? The fact is: Life itself is attractive! In the attempt to re-create Life in a laboratory, scientists have discovered this attraction operating at the most fundamental level. In one recent experiment, lipids - the molecules which make up the membrane of all cells - were chopped up into infinitesimally small pieces and left to stand in a saline solution. Within a short period, small clusters of lipids started forming and growing into cell-like structures under the influence of “forces of natural attraction”! Just as our thoughts and feelings influence the inner workings of our cells, so too they interact with the universal “Intelligent energy field” determining what we actually draw to ourselves from the infinite array of possibilities through electromagnetic resonance: like energy attracts like.

What is not so well publicised or understood is that we are continuously projecting and manifesting not just our conscious intentional thoughts but our subconscious thoughts as well. It is from this vast subconscious realm that the majority of our thinking is generated, and unless we have embarked on an inner process of emotional healing and mental clearing, the greater part of this activity is negatively charged. It is this unconscious “shadow” part of us which can contradict or sabotage our most cherished and passionately held intentions. Whilst we may be consciously putting out for success, love, prosperity, and happiness, our shadow may be churning out a more sustained and powerful programme of self-doubt, unworthiness and rejection which will overpower the intentional manifestation and ultimately leave us with the same old familiar experience of frustration, lack and failure. At a cellular level it’s this same interaction with our subconscious thoughts and feelings which determines the way our cells function. Negative thoughts and the emotions they engender such as fear, anger, jealousy, helplessness…. impair our cells in performing their normal tasks. Positive, happy, loving thoughts and feelings make for healthy cells and a healthy body. So at the start of another new year, whilst clearing out all the unwanted junk from your drawers and cupboards, take some time to give your subconscious mind a clear-out as well, and make this a truly happy new year!


Enjoy in our unique hotel-restaurant Los Caracoles, the Mediterranean-andalusi kitchen that we offer, with panoramic views over the mountains and the Mediterranean. the unique architecture and our location make it a magical and unforgettable place, just 4km from Frigiliana and 8km from torrox and Nerja.

Open Everyday - Unique styled, Bungalows, Rooms & Romantic packages available Ctra. Frigiliana-Torrox km 4.5 Tel: 952 03 06 80

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Heather Gail Harman b.a hons

New enrolees welcome to join Heather's highly successful Drawing and Painting Classes. Beginners welcome Puente don Manuel - Mondays Torre del Mar/Benajarafe - Thursdays Lake Vi単uela - Fridays New Year! - New Venture?

For further details contact Heather Tel: 952 115 366 Mob: 628 306 371

Local, National and European Removals Airfreight Shipments and Overseas Removals Worldwide Reliable, swift and delicate handling of your personal belongings, either for your domestic or international removal or for storage purposes. Salobrena Based - New Removals Store Open Now! Great Service, Fair Price

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y r a i D

es h e t a D r T t´s on ? Fo iWnhyaour area

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 2pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Every Tuesday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Quiz 8.30pm. Call: 685 552 529. Every Tuesday Bar Triana Ctr. Bemamargosa, Triana. Quiz night 8.30p.m. Call: 618 373 316

ing its “New Year – New Art” exhibition at the Ethnographic Museum, Riogordo. The exhibition shows high quality work from 10 artists, many well known in the Axarquia region. Calle Iglesia 14, Riogordo is open to the public on Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 10am until 2pm & 4pm until 8pm. axarquiaart@gmail.com www.axarquiaart.blogspot.com CAS 13th Jan Quiz night El Ancla Torrox Costa 7pm for 7.30pm. Tickets 9€ inc. meal. All proceeds to CAS. Call 952 967 013 to book tables of 4/6. La Vaqueria wishes everybody all the best for the New year and would like to inform all of our customers that we will be closed for all of January.

Del Boy’s Dodgers

Every Wednesday Modern Jive Dancing. Restaurante Parquesol, Torrox Costa. 8.30pm. Modern Jive dancing with tuition. Tel: Jacqueline 658 729 274

unfortunately we have to bring back our feature on certain businesses the The Sentinella no longer have any association with.

Every Thursday Evening Bar Viva, Torre del Mar, Quiz night from 8.30pm with cash prizes. APARIV Charity Quiz last Friday of every month. Call 952 544 362

Sadly we will no longer have any more association with........

Every Thursday Bar Atila, Puente don Manuel, Bingo 8pm. Call 685 552 529 Every Thursday Fonzies Paul´s Quiz with cash prizes. Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel 952 519 733 Every Friday Chiringuito Antonio Market, 10am - 2pm Puente don Manuel, Dale 697 258 400 Friday 28th Jan Barn Dance with The Reel Jiggers at El Cruce Restaurant 8.30 - 11.30 pm Acoustic Roots - 5th Jan: Open Acoustic Session at the Alberdini, Cómpeta, musicians, singers, jugglers, dancers, drinkers, everyone welcome. Food Available. Tel: 952 516294. Fri 21st, El Ancla, Torrox Costa. Food Available. Tel: 952 967 013. Art Exhibition by Axarquia Art - Sat 15th Jan - Sat 12th Feb. The Axarquia Art group is hold-

generali insurance guniagua Piscinas y gunitados


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107

Random Jokes There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, smelly biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?" ------------------------------------------------------------We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening.

MANZ

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w Doors w Windows w Sun Blinds w Mosquito Nets w Shower Doors w Blinds w Shutters El Cruce de Periana, Edf. Alzabel Bajo No. 3, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin

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109

Random Pics

As soon as this happens, retire with dignity!

“the doctor told me me to start the excercise programme steadily. so today i drove past a shop that sold jogging bottoms”

RCO BRIT E D A A M For your wood Carpentry Poligono la Panoleta C/Juan gris No 5 29700 Velez Malaga tel: 952 501 543

kitchen furniture, Doors, windows wE sPEak ENgLish!

Email: madercobrita@madercobrita.es / Web: www.madercobrita.es

2Js Removals Ltd. Reg No: 7188215

House Clearances UK - SPAIN - UK Luton van with tailgate Local and International removals Reliable service - Free quotes No job too small. Fully Insured. Second hand catering equipment for sale; stainless steel fridges, tables & cookers, etc. Call June or John on: 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 email: jmcc1957@yahoo.co.uk


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All types of tools Chainsaw Sharpening Service

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ACADEMIA GALA SpaniSh CourSeS intenSive & ConverSational all levelS available Including for children starting school C/ Maestro Duran Lopez 6 Torre del Mar

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PET TAXI UK * FRANCE * SPAIN travelling in air conditioned vehicle delivered door to door pets stay in pet friendly hotels accompanied travel available tel:

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111

True Stories The following are letters sent to newspapers My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a 5€ note. Our total was 4.20€, so I also handed her twenty cents. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me 1€ back.' She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 cents and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 cents in change.. Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's. ------------------------------------------------------------I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce. ------------------------------------------------------------I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' ------------------------------------------------------------The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

T H E  D O G  H O U S E While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. *Large Enclosed Play Area *Lots of Country Walks *Pet Collection / Delivery Service *Vet Services - On Call *Gourmet Meals

‘only the beSt for your pal’ Ring: Phil (mob) 649 079 321 Email: philipclayton_1@msn.com Comares / Benamargosa Ex - cat & dog airlines.uk Recommended

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? n O s ’ t Wh a

sponsored by:

rights arkw The British Store & More OPEN ALL “OURS” Puente don Manuel Call: 952 519 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

Royal British Legion Torre del Mar January Events: We meet every Wed between 12-2pm at the La Vega Rest. next to Mercadona supermarket. All ages welcome-various activities held at the Weekly Meetings. 5th Weekly Meeting, 12th Weekly Meeting, 19th Weekly Meeting, 20th Trip to Iceland/Plaza Mayor, 26th Weekly Meeting, 27th Monthly Lunch – Chinese Buffet. Bookings 663 658 354 (9am5pm), Welfare 628 343 198, Membership 617 997 095 rbl-tdm@hotmail.com Web site at www.rbl-torredelmar.org.uk Lux Mundi Torre del Mar Jan Events: 1st Closed Holiday, 3-4-5 Only open 10 till 1pm, 6th Closed Holiday, 10th Film Night, 18th-25th Week of prayer for Christian Unity, 20th Trip to Gibraltar. Every Mon 3pm-5pm German speaking afternoon, Every Tues Music Appreciation Soc, Every Wed 3pm-5pm Art Group 5:30 Choir Practice, Every Fri 11am-1pm Coffee morning & Boutique, Every Sat 5pm Catholic Church service, Every Sun 10:30am Anglican Service St. Barnabas. Deposits required for all trips & events. Tel: 952 543 334 Alcaucin Branch of TRBL meets every Thursday noon at the Bar Atila, Puente Don Manuel to enjoy social activities and meet new like minded friends. We regularly have a quiz, bingo, surprise events and presentations. Regular trips are arranged departing locally. Branch Contact is 680491109. Harvey (please note this is a new number) Welfare Contact is 690 310 951 Dorothy, Social Contact is 636 203 135 Barbara

RBL - Los Romanes Branch We are still a branch of the Royal British Legion. NEW VENUE - The Garden Restaurant, La Vinuela. We meet every Tuesday from 12.00 noon until 2.00 pm. at the above. On the first Tuesday of every month we have menu del dia at the restaurant. Please feel free to come and join us any time, you do not have to be a member. For social contact Lorraine on 952510203. For other contact Margaret on 951 167 600. Visit our web site on www.rbl-losromanes.org.uk Happy New Year to all Cudeca dancers. 1st dance of 2011 will be on 22nd Jan - 7pm for 7.30 at El Trapiche restaurant,10€. Fish or chicken supper included, usual social mix of ballroom, old time, sequence and George's Scottish dances. Thanks to all who donated raffle prizes last year, especially Frigliana's Balcon restaurant. Total donated so far: 3,651€. For tickets & food choice Joyce email: jjmunns@gmail.com or phone 616 046 713 or Mike on 952 510 189 Golfnutz meet every Wednesday at Santa Clara (Otura, Granada) for golf banter, all abilities welcome. Sense of humour essential. Happy New Year and a higher pension to all golfers in the new year including ‘old grumpy’. Call 679 982 992 or caddy master on 858 702 800 14th Jan quiz night to raise money for APARIV Animal protection society with prizes, raffles and food available at Los Morenos Restaurant in Rincon de la Victoria at 8pm. For further information call Stephen 952 514671 28th Jan quiz night to raise money for APARIV Animal protection society with prizes, raffles and food available at Bar Viva in Torre del Mar 8pm. Call: Bar Viva 952 544362

www.thesentinella.com


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113

What’s O n? Dance Time - Come to our VALENTINE'S DAY DINNER AND DANCE, not just for two but also to see lots of friends. Plenty of romantic music to dance to, not forgetting the great food and a surprise gift for all the ladies. Early booking advisable. El Trapiche Restaurant, Saturday 12th February 7.30 - 11.30pm. Menu choice, Pork chop, Chicken or Rosada. Tickets 12.50€. For reservations: English: 952 550 497, Deutsch: 952 115 717 Lux Mundi Music Appreciation Group meets each Tues from 3.00p.m until 5.00p.m. at the Lux Mundi Centre in Torre del Mar. The sessions are focused upon a composer or a period of classical music. We listen and enjoy a selection of the works. Further information from Keith Hicks, telephone 637255299. Yo Jive Modern Jive Dance Classes have a great new venue in Torrox Costa. Every Tuesday 8.30pm. Modern Jive is easy, fun and a great way of meeting new people. You dont need a partner come by yourself or bring a friend. Beginners always welcome. Join us Tuesday nights at El Ancla de Cirilo, Calle de Peñoncillo, Torrox Costa on the N-340 between Nerja and Torrox Costa. info@yojive.com Dancing is good exercise as well as good social fun! David would like to thank everyone for a great start to the season and welcomes members old and new to join him for lessons every Monday 5pm - 7pm at Trapiche Restaurant. For more information contact David on 952 531 259 or 617 863 193 (mobile). Nerja History Group meets on the first Friday of each month at the Cultural Centre, Calle Granada, Nerja at 11.30. For more information, contact Jill Christian-Smith on: 952 538 526 664 760 405 jill.christiansmith.gmail.com Lodge of European Fraternity No. 52. Meet in Maro every 3rd. Thursday during the winter months, and most Mon evenings for L.O.I. Tel for details 678043486 or 608750980

Pinguinitos Swim School restarting swimming lessons for all ages in October. Call Virginia Millington 952 533 236 or 662 463 452 vajmgo@yahoo.co.uk RBL - Benajarafe Branch Meet every Friday from 12.30 to 2.30pm, at the coastal, Puerto Niza restaurant, we enjoy bingo, quizzes, more entertainment and monthly outings, a superb lunch inc. drinks, and we welcome all new and existing RBL members. Call 952 514 226 or 669 201 927 Trapiche Social Club January events 5th Three Kings in Malaga, 12th Annual General Meeting followed by lunch, 19th Social activities, 21st Quiz Night with Roger, 26th Social activities. Book by telephone on 680 764 130 Or at Trapiche Restaurant on Wednesdays between 12.00 and 13.30. The Club meets at Trapiche Restaurant on Wednesdays between 12.00 and 14.00. A warm welcome awaits you from a bunch of friendly people. FHT Axarquia Therapists’ Support Group. Next meeting Wed, 26th January at 11am at The Camping Bar Restaurant, Vinuela when the speaker will be Gill Eardley. Gill is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistics and Integral Eye Movement Therapy, and also trained as a Clinical Hypnotherapist.. The presentation will briefly explore how our beliefs and perspectives can prevent or assist change from occurring, with an insight into the various modes of belief change work – part talk, part demo and some interactive exercises. For further details contact Jenny Wright: jennywright04@gmail.com or by telephone: 951 321 613 or 633 759 988 Qi Gong and Tai Chi - start the New Year with a visit to one of these classes and improve your balance, health and general well-being. Wednesday, 11 am – Bar 02, Colmenar, Thursday, 3pm - El Duende, Los Ventorros, near Comares, and Friday, 11am – Bar Trapiche, Trapiche, and another class at The Lemon Tree Restaurant, Rio Gordo on Mon or Tues. Contact Paul Bradley on 653 333 733.

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n o i t a m r Info ...In our own random order! Bus Times Call: 952 540 936 Nerja-Malaga 06:30, 07:30, 08:30 08:55, 10:10, 11:10, 12:25, 13:40, 14:55, 15:55, 17:10, 18:40, 19:40, 20:25 Malaga-Nerja 07:00, 08:15, 09:15, 10:30, 11:45, 12:30, 13:00, 14:00, 15:15; 17:30; 18:45, 20:15, 20:45, 21:30 Expect to pay approx 2.90€ one way and 5.15€ round trip Nerja-Nerja Caves 08:10, 08:25, 09:40, 10:40, 11:50; 11:55, 12:35, 13:10, 13:35, 14:25, 15:25; 16:40; 18:10, 18:55, 19:30, 20:10 Nerja Caves-Nerja 08:45, 10:00, 11:00, 12:00, 12:15, 12:50, 13:30, 14:45. 15:45, 17:00 17:45; 18:30; 19:30; 20:15 Expect to pay approx 0.80€ one way Nerja-torre see Nerja-Malaga times torre-Nerja 07:45, 09:00, 09:15, 10:00, 11:00, 11:15; 11:45, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 16:00, 17:30, 18:15, 19:30, 21:00, 22:00. Church services in English anglican - Services - Inglesia de San Miquel (St Michael’s Church) Nerja - every Sunday at 12 noon (except during May). Short Holy Communion Service Wednesdays at 09.30am at the Church Shop, calle malaga, Nerja. Call: 952 521 339 / 952 522 460 Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sundays Tel: 952 219 396 torre del Mar - Sanysol Residencia, Saturdays 6.00 pm. Tel: 952 219 396 anglican communion. torre del Mar - Services in English - St. Barnabas IERE (Anglican). Holy Communion 11am. 2nd and 4th Sundays. Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. 6pm. Evensong 1st Sunday, all

Local Police : 091 guardia : 062 Fire : 080 at Lux Mundi Centre, Calle Casa de la Vina, two minutes walk from the bus station. Tel: 952-030-461 (Priest) or 952 510 056 (Churchwarden). roman Catholic - torre del Mar - Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Saturdays 5pm, (Winter), Saturdays 6pm, (Summer) Church of scotland Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre - Worship every Sunday at 11:30 Tel 952543334 or 687764705 for more information. Evangelical - torre del Mar Evangelical (Presbyterian Church) meets every Sunday for Worship in English at 11.30am in the Picasso Room, Hotel Torremar, (off Paseo Larios) C/ Saladero Viejo 15 Torre del Mar. All welcome. Minister J. Hartsmith Foy. Tel: 952 532 825 or: www.torredelmarchurch.org torrox Park Community Church meet at 11am on Thursday for coffee and discussion on current topics. This is an informal meeting for everyone to join in. At Tapricho Tapas bar (opposite El Pino camping), Torrox park. more info: Minister J. hartsmith foy, Tel: 952 532 825 or www.torroxparkchurch.org. Puente don Manuel - Fellowship of the King, Sunday Worship - 11am. Wednesday Fellowship - 7pm. We meet at Fellowship of the King premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobiliaria, El Cruce de Puente don Manuel. Phone 952 033 021 or 952 518 185 Bank hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am. taxis torre: 952 540 016. Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 952 540 016 Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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ambulance : 061 water : 952 540 662 Electricity : 952 540 662 tourist information Nerja: 952 521 531 torre del Mar: 952 541 104 weekly Market days Mondays: Torrox Costa tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche on the road to Benamagosa. wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria & Algarrobo Costa thursdays: Velez Malaga & Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Puente don Manuel & Cala de Moral saturdays: Caleta de Velez & Competa sundays: Malaga Consulates Uk Opposite the main bus station Edif, Eurocom Bloque Sur C/Mauricio Moro 2-2º- Malaga 952 352 300 ireland Avda, de los Boliches, Nº15 Fuengirola 952 475 108 Netherlands/Dutch Avda, Carlota Alesandria, 33 Edif. San Andres - 1º-7 Torremolinos 952 380 888 germany C/Mauricio Moro 2, Malaga 952 363 591 sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004

Informa

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airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 granada 952 048 804 airlines www.easyjet.com www.ryanair.com www.thompsonfly.com www.flymonarch.com www.flybe.com www.bmibaby.com shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) The municipal market (fruit and veg) and the weekly markets are only open mornings. water supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 railway stations Malaga: 952 360 202 granada: 958 271 272 town halls torre and Velez: 952 500 100 torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 hospitals Nerja ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 itV Call: 902 575 757 or 952 551 084 www.itvcita.com - Open Mon - Fri 08.00am 18.45pm, Sat: 08:00am - 12.45pm

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s e g a P Puzzle Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle 1) I've got teeth, but I can't bite. I am the guardian of your house. You won't leave home, or come home, without me. I'm not loyal, leave me behind, and I'll let the next man enter. What am I?

1. What is polemology the study of? 2. Who was the lover of Cressida? 3. What does vespertillian refer to? 4. What shape is ensform? 5. What is the Rowan tree also known as? 6. Apiphobia is the fear of what?

2) I am the centre of gravity, hold a capital situation in Vienna, and as I am foremost in every victory, am allowed by all to be invaluable. Though I am invisible, I am clearly seen in the midst of a river. It is in vain that you seek me, for I have long been in heaven, yet even now lie embalmed in the grave. What am I?

3) A man worked at a high security institution. The man tried to log into his computer and the computer denied the password. He then remembered that the passwords to the comput8. Adrastea is a satellite of which planet? ers were reset every month for security reasons. He called his boss for his new pass9. Who wrote the musical Oliver? word. The man said, "Boss, my old password is out of date." The boss said, "Yes, it is. The new 10. In which state is Harvard University? password is different, but if you listen closely you will be able to figure out the new one. Your new password has the same amount of letters 11. What is the main port of Italy? as the old one, and four of the letters are the same." The man then logged into his computer 12. In Germany what was the Abwehr? with no trouble. What was the new password? What was his old? Answers on page 121

7. Name the mongoose in Jungle Book?

Sudokus Easy

Tough


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117

Puzzle P ages

Crossword Two sets of clues but the same answer 12 Fumigate (9) 15 Bowler's approach [3-2] (5) 1 Old inns carelessly lose theirs (10) 17 Solidify (7) 8 Don is down when rising [3,2] (5) 19 False courage (7) 9 Relative with article that's soiled (7) 20 Escape or avoid (5) 10 High-pitched noise from disorganised creches (7) 21 Stop that! [5,2,3] (10) 11 Is furious when egghead appears in old clothes Down (5) 2 Wild animal that lives in a holt (5) 12 Remove bacteria from disc ten if polluted (9) 3 Bicycles for two (7) 15 Quickly put together bowler's approach [3-2] (5) 4 Object of ridicule [8,5] (13) 17 Argument in the south-east needs initially to be5 Infl ict on yourself (5) come harder (7) 19 Congratulations about commercial, bringing false 6 Deftness (of hand) (7) 7 Responsibility (4) courage (7) 8 Upper-class (4) 20 Dodge with eastern duel, maybe (5) 12 Copenhagen's country (7) 21 Nick something? Stop that! [5,2,3] (10) Down 13 Distinguished (7) 2 River mammal more 'eated! (5) 14 Before now (4) 3 Territorial Army mends broken bicycles for two (7) 15 Red gemstone (4) 4 Object of ridicule caught long ski by accident [8,5] 16 Keyboard instrument (5) (13) 18 Downy substance (5) 5 Suffer from popular remedy, unfi nished (5) 6 Trickery of minor importance, we hear (7) 7 Burden on America (4) 8 Upper-class sort of shop (4) 12 Worried men in forbidding country (7) 13 Distinguished nine met, unexpectedly (7) 14 Formerly attached to church (4) 15 Polish top of your gem (4) 16 Instrument causing pain over nothing (5) 18 Something vacuumed up, a mistake (5)

across

across

Cryptic Clues

Quick Clues

1 Old inns (10) 8 Dress in [3,2] (5) 9 Dirty (7) 10 Shrill cry (7) 11 Violent fits of temper (5)


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) : a h a h s e k o J A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book, but about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while". Billy says "I'm fine, mummy... I just haven't done it yet." Mother says "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" "It works for Tomato Ketchup!!" ------------------------------------------------------------'Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?' asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter. The assistant looked at him and asked: 'Are you Irish?' 'If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?' demanded the Irishman. 'Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?' Then, warming to his theme, he went on, 'Or if I asked you for a kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would Ya? Would Ya?' The assistant said: 'Well, no.' Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear. 'And if I asked you for frog's legs, would you ask me if I was French? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish? 'Well no, I probably wouldn't.’ conceded the assistant. So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says, 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?' The assistant replied: 'Because you're in B&Q!’ ------------------------------------------------------------A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He

sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.' So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one wish. Just! One wish~~ each person is only allowed one!' The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!' A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.' 'Tell me about it!!' says the man, 'Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?’ ------------------------------------------------------------Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?" Husband proudly replies, "Only you, darling With all the others, I was awake." Hospital Visiting Hours are 10am to 4am ------------------------------------------------------------I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."

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119

Jokes h a h a :) An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff....Dad.....I became a prostitute...' 'Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 'OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a â‚Ź5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for you Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.' 'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.. Girl,crying again,'Sniff, sniff....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff.' 'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug' -----------------------------------------------------------Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing, Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder..' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches. Then, she walked off. Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the height, and she gives us the length!! -------------------------------------------------------------

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7� in your pants'. After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. It read, 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages. I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back.... Tiger ------------------------------------------------------------A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother, It says: "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle... it makes your nose look too short."

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s n g i S Star Mystic Mag, the most discussed astrologer in the Axarquia, yet again tells us what the stars have in store this month Capricorn - You are playing with fire where a certain person is concerned but be careful that you don't get burnt. Lucky sign - An extinguisher that has run out of foam. Aquarius - A man named Gordon Snibbs will come into your life this month. Just let him down gently and he'll muddle through as always. Lucky sign - A caterpillar slithering on a brown leaf. Pisces - Ring a ring a roses was always your favourite childhood song and you could find yourself singing it again. Woos alert! Lucky sign - A surprise meeting with Mystic Mag. Aries - Have a thorough search on ebay and you may find that collection of A-Team figurines you have always wanted. Lucky sign - A whistling kettle, which just won’t shut up. Taurus - There is no kinder sweeter person in the world than you, well apart from all the other Taureans of course, oooh and there's quite a few of them! Lucky Sign - Noughts and crosses. Gemini - What are you going to do? Everything seems to be going wrong at the moment, but don't give up as that is feeble and feeble you are not! Lucky sign - A waterbed, especially if you are

on it with the right person. Wink wink! Cancer - Neptune is crossing paths with Mars so you are destined to spend a lot of time in SuperSol. Tip: The onions are off. Lucky sign - A headhunter agent. Leo - Your best pal has always been Jack Daniels, but it is nigh time you found a different friend. Lucky Sign - Pizza with extra pineapple. Virgo - Look up into the sky on a clear night and as you look at the stars be aware that someone is thinking about you. Good things or bad things one can not reveal. Lucky sign - Peter Pan's Adventures, priced £6.99 from all good bookshops. Libra - The pond water has turned a funny colour so buy a pump, but be careful not to kill the fish. Lucky sign - Cats with straw hats, sitting on mats. Scorpio - Good things happen to those who wait so sit tight and wait some more. You are used to it by now. Lucky sign - The Ace of Spades and the Queen of Hearts. Sagittarius - When the clock strikes one you must go to the shed at the back of the garden and there you will find the answer you have been looking for. Lucky sign - Two broken branches of a weeping willow tree. And if it´s your Birthday this month have a very HAPPY and prosperous 2011!

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en s T ,10 p 9 o , T ,8 ,7 6 , 5 4, ,3, 1,2

Top selling Christmas number ones of all time...

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The 2010 Christmas Curry Charts top ten... 1. Poppadum Preach Madonna 2. Korma Chameleon Culture Club 3. When I Phall in Love Nat King Cole

1. Band Aid Do They Know It's Christmas? 3.55 Million / 1984 2. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody 2.1 Million / 1975 & 1991 3. Wings - Mull of Kintyre 2.05 Million / 1977 4. Boney M - Mary's Boy Child 1.79 Million / 1978 5. Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand 1.75 Million / 1963 6. Human League - Don't You Want Me 1.43 Million / 1981 7. Beatles - I Feel Fine 1.41 Million / 1964

4. You Can’t Curry Love Diana Ross & The Supremes 5. Tears On My Pilau Kylie Minogue 6. Brothers in Naans Dire Straits 7. It’s My Chapati and I’ll Cry If I Want To Dave Stewart / Barbara Gaskin

8. Beatles - We Can Work It Out 1.39 Million / 1965

8. Vindaloo Abba

9. Whitney Houston I will always love you. 1.36 Million / 1992

9. Rice Rice Baby Vanilla Ice

10. Tom Jones Green Green Grass of Home. 1.2 Million / 1966

10. Livin’ Dhal Cliff Richard

get Quizical answers 1. Wars, 2. Troilus, 3. Bats, 4. Sword, 5. Mountain Ash, 6. Bees, 7. Rikki, Tikki, Tavi, 8. Jupiter, 9. Lionel Bart, 10. New Jersey, 11. Genoa, 12. Military Intelligence Service riddle Diddle answers 1. The keys to your house, 2. The letter v, 3. The man's old password was "out of date". His new password was "different". the Banana test answer Lion - you´re dull, Chimp you´re dense, Giraffe, you´re a complete moron, Squirrel, you´re hopeless. A coconut tree doesn´t have bananas!


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r e d a r The T E

oto. t inc. ph r e v d a boxed 8 nth. 15€ for 7th of the mocall: 664 210 46 r o s d r 1 o r e w o th 8 th before e mon um of 2 maxim nt to be made efore 15th of th a r fo 3€ Payme tinella.com b n s@these mail sale

Cars For Sale

Vehicles Wanted

LaNDrOVEr DisCOVErY 2 TD5. ES. 7 seats, 2001 fully loaded, power steering, double air con, cd, leather interior, etc... ITV April 2011. 8,500€ o.n.o. P/X possible. Call: 649 111 965.

waNtED CLassiC MOtOrCYCLEs. Pre 1985, any condition, any plate, working or not. Cash paid. Tel. 615 855 479

BMw.320 sE. 4 door Saloon. Green. Petrol, 2002 U.K. plates. VGC. 4,500€ Tel. 649 079 321 FOrD MaVEriCk, Turbo diesel ´97, RHD, sunroof, trailer-clutch. English plates, 2,500€ Torrox, El Peñoncillo 27. Call: 630 364 356

Items For Sale 3 sOLiD PiNE siNgLE beds with headboards Excellent condition. €75 each o.n.o. Tel: 651 135 726 sEVEraL sEts OF PaLE blue fitted/flat sheets, duvet covers, duvets, pillowcases, pillows, blankets, mattress protectors €30 Tel: 651 135 726 ONE iNDUstriaL BrOthErs Sewing Machine. 40€ o.n.o Call: 952 550 041. Ask for Jean. tOOLs gaLOrE Big ones/small ones, whatever takes your fancy. Mostly carpentry. Call: 618 721 660 two Pedicure Chairs (spa not included) Never been used as they are slightly soiled on the seat. Retail price is 199€ each For sale 90€ each. Manicure desk (very soiled but still good) For sale 45€. Original price was 299€. Call: 952 525 289

Wanted NEw MEMBErs at El Capitan Tennis Club Torre del Mar. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. 9.30am - 11.30am. phone 675 391 967 waNtED House and dog sitter wanted for June ´11. Pleasant location, traditional 2 bed, 2 bath finca. All mod. cons. Located between Velez Malaga and Puente Don Manuel. Tel: 951 209 122 / 607 467 050 waNtED: ExPEriENCED riDEr to share 15.3hh gelding in the Alcaucin area. Good nature but needs someone with confidence. Small contribution. Tel 693 269 766 i wiLL COLLECt FrEE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning. Call me on Tel:- 658 72 92 74 Jacqui

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s e i t r e p Pro

erts xed adv o b t u o uire ab for enq of the month. 664 210 468 € 5 1 r 17th ords o r call: of 28 w ade before the of the month o m u im x ma 15th be m 3€ for a Payment to lla.com before e n esenti sales@th Email:

Properties For Sale/Rent

2/3 BEDrOOM hOUsE tO LEt in Benamargosa. Available for long or short term lets from 300€ pcm. Also holiday lets from 200€ per week. 2 mins to supermarket, bars and swimming pool. Call: 636 117 210 FLat, 90M2, in Vélez-Málaga, new, 5 mins to schools, health centre, supermarket, bus station, highway and 5 km to the sea. 3 bedrooms, a prime quality furnished kitchen, 22m2 terrace, lift and garage. €159.000, tlf: 606 764 539. Ready to move in. tOwNhOUsE FOr saLE Charming townhouse in Riogordo. 3 bed, lounge with log burner, fitted kitchen/diner, terrace, parking. Reduced to €119,000. Tel 606 734 012 tOrrOx PUEBLO LargE tOwNhOUsE 150sqm and terrace. In need of rebuild with plans. Paperwork in order. Call: 95 252 5830 / 609 931 224 35,000€ o.n.o. tOrrEViEJa (ViLLa MartiN), 1 Bed apartment for rent. Sleeps 4, new UPVC windows with kitchen appliances on nice complex with pools. Sold as seen, £55,000 O.N.O. Call Mick on 0044 7770972725 email: thermawarm@aol.com or call Carmen on 662 378 911 or email: carmen.cienfuegos@hotmail.com for more information. www.holidayrentalinspain.com FOr rENt iN riOgOrDO Charming townhouse, 3 bed, fully furnished, kitchen/diner,

lounge with log burner, Sat TV, telephone, terrace, parking, 2 mins to centre. €350 pcm Tel 606 734 012 tOrrEViEJa (ViLLa MartiN), 1 Bed apartment for sale. Sleeps 4, new UPVC windows with kitchen appliances on nice complex with pools. Sold as seen, £55,000 O.N.O. Call Mick on 0044 7770972725 email: thermawarm@aol.com or call Carmen on 662 378 911 or email carmen.cienfuegos@hotmail.com for more information. www.holidayrentalinspain.com a COsY 2 BED 2 bath town house in Viñuela village for rent. Fully furnished, fitted kitchen, sky tv, roof terrace. Suit single or couple. Pets welcome 350€ pcm. Call. 649 111 965.

Property Wanted waNtED hOUsE tO rENt in Caleta, Torre del Mar or Benajarafe. Must have own pool, 3/4 bedrooms, garage or space for two cars, storage, Sat TV, telephone/internet for working family with no pets and non smoking. Maximum budget 700€ for long term let. References available. Call: 664 689 138 or email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk DOg sittErs aVaiLaBLE English Sisters who love animals will look after your dog/s in their home near Frigiliana. €10 per day per dog which includes at least 1 walk per day and lots of love and attention. References available. Contact 634015902


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onth!! s ectory s e n uros a m lla.com i e s 5 st u B Dir Business here fraoilm: sjuales@thesentine r m list you 68 or E We can on 664 210 4 ay Call tod

ACCOMMODATION wEscuela la Crujia Rural B & B & guesthouse in a pretty converted school, 10 minutes from Velez Malaga,Tel: 606 010 580. Email: toni@escuelalacrujia.com

ping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. solarblinds.es@gmail.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76 958 49 65 71

BOOKSHOPS

AIR CONDITIONING

wPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703, www.bookshoppasatiempo.com

wFor air Conditioning call Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar

BRITISH SUPERMARKETS

ALARMS wPerfect alarm s.L: Security systems, Video systems, Alarm systems and Home automation. Call: 608 517 661 email: perfect.alarm@listener-seguridad.com www.listener-spanien.com/andalusien www.andalusien.eurotec-ibiza.com

ARTS & CRAFTS w La Vaqueria, Hand made cards, craft materials, gifts, souvenirs, morrocan goods, paintings, mosaics, refreshments to eat in or take away, classes, workshops and much, much more! La Vaqueria, Benamargosa. Opening hours - Tues -Sat 10am-3pm, Closed Mondays Tel:- 952517273 E-mail: studio.20lavaqueria@hotmail.com Website: www.la_vaqueria.com http://www.myspace.com/lavaqueriabenamargosa

BLINDS wsolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stop-

warkwrights English Shop. Turn right at Venta Baja Crossroads or call: 952 519 780 www.arkwrights-groceries.com

BUILDERS wall types of building work undertaken, 37 years experience, Let me quote you. Call: 952 110 788 or 650 895 461 wreformers terence Mitchell - Renovations & Refurbishments. Professional builders with over 20 years experience. Tiling, painting, plumbing, electricity. Free advice, no obligations. Tel: 664 459 868. terryseatonreformas@hotmail.com www.facebook.com/terryseatonreformas wP&g Builders, 12 years in Spain. ALL work completed. Portfolio of work available. Ring Paul: 636 857 697 ViĂąuela areas. Email: chicken.paul@hotmail.com wJr Construction Extensions, Reforms, Tiling (Int & Ext), Terraces, Walls, Garages and Painting. Reliable, Quality Workmanship. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414 or Richard. 636 857 715. C/Virgen de la Milagrosa NÂş 3, Los Romanes, 29713, Malaga.


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125

Business Listing CAR AND 4 x 4 PARTS

wwanted all UK plated vehicles. Year 2000 onwards. cash paid. Call: 667 235 205

wComputer help.Troubleshooting & Repairs. New PCs supplied with Windows in English. WiFi installations. Reasonable rates. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. Patient & professional. Call David on 952 54 96 07 or 654 899 976. wComputer Problems? Help is at hand. Upgrades, repairs, hardware and sofware problems solved, NO FIX - NO FEE. Advice on buying and setting up the right computer for you. Tuition from complete beginners to advanced, get the most out of your PC. Call David Fleck on: 952 510 729 / 620 328 382 or email: david@technophobe.es www.technophobe.es

CARPENTERS

DENTISTRY

wandrew rodgers 20 years experience in kitchens, wardrobes, shelving, aluminium door & windows. Call the Window Doctor for any window problem. Roller shutter blinds, mosquito blinds, security locks, repairs and renewals reasonable rates, Tel: 660 597 894 email: rodgersfamilyinspain@yahoo.co.uk

wClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: clinicaeuropatorroxcosta@gmail.com British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157 wian Pett Dental Care, Five star dental care you can trust. Edif. Al-Zabel, Local 7, Cruce de Periana, 29713 Alcaucin, Puente don Manuel. 951 139 287 / 691 700 587 UK +44 1708 616 148. www.ianpettdentalcare.com

wall Makes and Models Land Rover specialists, trade and public welcome. Nationwide delivery service. Call Tropical 4x4 on 951 707 785 www.tropical4x4.com

CAR AND VAN RENTAL wOne way van hire, UK, France and Spain. Call: 952 541 147

CARS WANTED

CARPET & UPHOLSTERY CLEANING wCarpet & Upholstery Cleaning. Professional Machines, 18 years experience. All areas covered. Call Roy on 958 640 068 or 656 561 669.

CHIROPODISTS wregistered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. 15yrs experience NHS & private. Call: 636 866 715 wregistered Chiropodist/Nurse of 20 years. New in Velez Malaga. Offers the following services:- Foot and hand care (diabetic, veruccas, fungus nails, ingrown toenails). Also home visits. Post hospital aftercare including physio. Call Teresa: 695 243 238

CHIROPRACTIC CARE wPhilippe Druart D.C., grad. from AECC (GB) and USA, 30 years exp., opens a chiropractic clinic in Frigiliana, C/ Blas Infante, 2 bajo. Consultations: Monday from 16.30 to 20.30, Wednesday and Friday from 10.00 to 14.00 and by appointment. Tel. 951 708 672 & 678 691 387. Email: druphil@yahoo.fr

COMPUTERS wPCtorrox.com.All computer problems solved. Torrox/Nerja and surrounding areas. Free Advice. No Fix No Fee. Hardware, Software and Website solutions. PC service - only 50 Euros. Call Rab on: 952 967 124 or 645 236 259.

DOG GROOMING wthe Dog shop, Professional grooming salon. All dogs welcome, any size, any breed. Tel: 645 525 782, Centro Comercial, 10, Torrox Park. www.thedogshoptorrox.com

ELECTRICIANS wElectro-Cute! English J.I.B. Electrician. For all your electrical needs and problems. Fault finding/Lighting and power/Air conditioning Electric gates and Intercoms/Pumps, Rewires/Upgrades Call Stefan 610 048 919 electrocutester@gmail.com wElectrician - Lakeside Property services, 24 hour call out emergency Electrician and Plumber. Call David on: 627 931 357

ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES wElectronic Cigarettes attENtiON sMOkErs! Don't get left out in the cold when Spain goes non-smoking in January. The Regal e-cig is a realistic smoking experience. Monthly supply of cartridges available contact http://www.costadelsolecigs.myinlife.com


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Business Listing ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE

HEALTH & BEAUTY

wab ax Properties Colinias del Puerto 124, Avenida de Andalucia, Caleta de Velez, 952 511 103, www.abaxproperties.com wFleming Properties, Calle Las Melosas, Edf Nautico, Torre del Mar, 952 547 131 or 637 278 306, www.fleming-properties.com waxarquia Properties s.L Call; 952 554 235 or 626 038 851 Email: sally@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.comEstate Agents wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com

wweight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 95 253 4795 beasav@terra.es (business opportunity also available): wweight watchers Meetings in English. Nerja and Vélez. Call Candace on 952 549 607 or 626 672 493 for further info. candace.edwards@weightwatchers.es

FREIGHT & ONLINE SHOPPING DELIVERIES

w"Peace of Mind holiday rentals" Have you had a successful 2010 season? A) Yes, well done and long may it continue. B) No, then contact us to help kick-start your 2011 season. 20+ Sales and Marketing Experience. David Cullimore 686 375 089 cullimores@hotmail.com

wFormula Freight, Call us for all your UK to Spain delivery requirements right to your door, to the Costa Tropical. Call: 01296 770029 Email; ian@formula-europe.co.uk www.formula freighteurope.co.uk

FUNERAL SERVICES wFuneral services call: 952 977 000 / 638 339 691

FURNITURE SHOPS wCudeca Second Hand Furniture Shop, tel 952 545 212 Calle Infantes 48, Torre del Mar (by Thursday market) open from Monday to Friday 10.00 to 13.30 and 17.30 to 19.30. Saturdays 10.00 to 13.30 only. If you wish to donate furniture please call Melanie on 638 108 564.

GARDENING SERVICES wred Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 657 165 373

GREETINGS CARDS wrosemary george tarjetas. For all occasions, English & Spanish. Organic, Handmade & much more. Supplying to shops, bars, clubs & individuals. Email: sales@greetingscardsinspain.com Telephone: 679 982 992

HOLIDAY LETS wVillas to Let Privately owned luxury villas to let. Contact Christine: 627 820 669 www.villaslet.com 958 36 40 16

HOLIDAY RENTALS

HORSE RIDING walcaucín horse riding, Lessons, trekking kids club on Sats 10am - midday. Ring Charlotte for more info. 620 609 374. Website: www.horseshoeranchspain.webs.com wandalucia horse riding 1hr, 2hr or day rides with picnic or bar lunch. Situated close to Lake Vinuela. Also riding Holidays with accommodation. Tel: 616 032 215 E-mail andaluciahorseriding@gmail.com Facebook – Andalucía Horseriding

HOUSE CLEARANCES wCarousel second hand Furniture, Vinuela Pueblo (Under Cajamar Bank), access via steps at side of bank, or slip road behind bank, 630 211 907

INSURANCE wLCJ iNsUraNCE, Not the cheapest, Not the dearest, Almost certainly the best, *Health Insurance, * Travel Insurance - Multi trips, *Car and House Insurance, * Funeral Plans, Call: 952 515 224


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Business Listing INTERNET SERVICES

MACHINE HIRE

wriosat:sL, No landline required. High speed Internet and telephone services. Some areas free installation. Prices starting from as low as 20 euros per month. Call: 951 239 310 / 626 679 018. Email: info@riosat.com Web: http// www.riosat.com

wMachines for hire, for all your building & reform requirements, with or without driver. Call: 696 547 646, on road to lake. wsaxon sL JCB Digger Hire. New machine Good rates. Velez Malaga Call: 678 23 22 53 or 662 39 83 72

INTERPRETERS

MAINTENANCE

wspanish woman can help you and you can practice your Spanish with her. Torrox, El Peñoncillo 27, Call: 630 364 356

wMaintenance person experienced in plumbing, tiling, painting and general maintenance of buildings. Portfolio of previous work carried out available. Friendly, reliable and reasonable rates. No job to small. Los Romanes and surrounding area. Tel: 618 496 266 or email: vramsell@aol.com.

KENNELS AND CATTERY wwagtails boarding kennels for cats and dogs. Dogs walked 3 times a day in 36,000 sq metres fenced land. Phone Val 655 579 792 or Richard 645 659 935 or www.wagtails.es wthe Dog house While you are away on holiday or a weekend break, your dogs live in our house alongside our dog. Large play area, lots of country walks. Pet collection/del. service. Vet services on call. Gourmet meals if required. 'Only the best for your pal'. Ring: Phil 649 079 321 Comares/Benamargosa. Email:philipclayton_1@msn.com Ex cat & dog airlines.UK. Recommended. Refs available. w home From home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of excercise, fun and cuddles. Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com. Also within 15km daily home visits for dogs, cats, horses. wDog care in our home with us, food, warmth, exercise and affection. Fully netted secure areas. Diet and meds. Ex UK dogs home worker also voluntary work. Call: 669 346 268, Casabermeja. On A45 midway between Antequera and malaga

LAWYERS wCarmen silvia, Solicitors Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (very near Nota-ria Office). Free initial consultation, 952 967 004 Email: carmensilvia@telefonica.net winternational Law solutions. English speaking Spanish Lawyer. English and Spanish legal advisors. Urb Torrox Park, Zona Comercial 3, tel/fax: 952 527 831 or 615 338 075, Email: info.ils@hotmail.com

LOCKSMITHS wBritish Locksmith - 24 hour service, good rates. Tel: 676 262 073

MARKET GOODS wMr Clutter Wants your Goods, House and garage clearances, shops and bars - old stock, any item considered. Call David: 686 375 089 - or if preferred email a list to cullimores@hotmail.com. Cash available and efficient service, Now buying Antiques,Gold & Jewellery

MEDICAL CENTRES wDr. Bernadette Veeger General Medicine 952 532 065, 617 913 196. Consultations by appointment and house visits. English, Español, Deutsch, Francais, Nederlands. Centro Mar y Salud, Paseo Marítimo, El Morche/Torrox Costa, www.centromarysalud.com

MOBILE MECHANIC wMobile Mechanic, call Terry: 951 239 660, or 659 483 561. Based in Alcaucin, 30+ years experience, all work fully guaranteed, 15€ per hour. Discount parts supplied. Covers whole of Axarquia, coastal and inland. I come to you!

MOBILITY PRODUCTS wBlue Badge Mobility.s.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015 / 635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MOTHER & TODDLER GROUPS wMother & toddler group at Torre Montessori Nursery in Torre del Mar on Wednesdays from 10:30 to 12:30 - 4€. TL: 633 637 774 Email: torremontessori@gmail.com Address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar


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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

Business Listing NURSERIES wguarderia/Nursery torre Montessori, an English nursery with Spanish as second language. High adult/child ratios. Open Monday to Friday. Full and Part Time places available. TL: 633 637 774 Email: torremontessori@gmail.com address: Calle Laureano Casquero s/n Torre del Mar

ONLINE SHOPPING

colours. www.4pawsbarkery.eu

PHYSIOTHERAPY wsanne h. Mortensen, BSc (Hons), MCSP, SRP, Spanish registered, Col no 2066. Clinic appointments or home visits in the Axarqùia region. Experienced UK trained physiotherapist offering post-operative rehabilitation and general musculo-skeletal conditions. 626 152 756

PLUMBERS

Online shopping WWW.COOLTIENDA.EU Local online shopping in Spain - FREE P&P. HEALTHY BACK BAGS - Looks Good & Feels Good. The patented Healthy back bag, contours to the shape of your spine, becoming part of you & hence feeling lighter. COOL BANDANAS - Personal cooling products to beat the heat. TILLEY HATS - Made in Canada, UPF50 maximum sun protection, water resistant, Guaranteed for life. COOL DUDE'S Products, now available to buy online. Chillows, Laptop Coolers & more! WWW.COOLTIENDA.EU

wwayne’s Drains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out. Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 wJohn Folland Plumbing & heating: All jobs from a dripping tap to fully fitted kitchens/bathrooms. No call out charge. Tel John: 622 050 803 or 622 180 606 wJust Plumbing. Just a quick and reliable plumbing service. Just a reasonably priced local business. Just polite, prompt and tidy. Just phone Dave on 689 647 849. Discounts in Riogordo, Colmenar, Comares.

OPTICIANS

PRINTING SERVICES

wheiko stumbeck, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar, 952 967 923 and C/Antonio Ferrandiz "Chanquete" 23-25, Nerja, 952 528 395. C/Jacinto, Benavente Edf. No. 6, Fuengirola, 952 197 565

wBusiness Cards double sided from 135€ for 500. Flyers double sided full colour from 150€ for 1,000. Call: 664 210 468 wBenaware Print. Competitive prices for single and double sided flyers. Personalised T shirts and greetings cards. Phone 608 631 603 or 952 517 464. E-Mail russ.benaware@gmail.com

OUTSIDE CATERERS wPig n Mix hog roast available for all occasions.Machine rental only or we cater for you. For prices www.pig-n-mix.com / email: info@pig-n-mix.com or Tel 655137483

PAINTERS wraC Decorators & tilers. All aspects of Painting and Tiling undertaken, Interior & Exterior Tel: 638-489-711 racdecor@ymail.com

PET COURIERS wPet taxi- UK, France & Spain Delivered door to door. Call: 667 235 205

PETS wBeautiful Pedigree Ragdoll Kittens for sale. Sayalonga for details call 618 989 125 www.constantina-cats.com

PET TREATS w4 Paws Barkery. The very best handmade, wholesome and pure Gourmet Dog Treats. Made locally from 100% human quality ingredients. No added preservatives or artificial

PROFESSIONAL CARERS wtake a break. Take time to relax, meet with your friends or a weekend away, reassured that your loved one is in safe hands. NVQ qualified Level 3, CRB registered, NHS approved. 8 years experience with mental health, learning disabilities, challenging behaviour, alzheimas & dementure. Willing to travel. Contact Steve Taplin 622 239 317

Sim p l y fro m oon nly 5

Th e Be st. . . e u ro ross p e r m on o n th

12 months - 60 euros 6 months - 40 euros 3 months - 30 euros C a l l : 6 6 4 210 46 8 sales@thesentinella.com


To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

129

Business Listing PROPERTY & POOL CARE wExperienced, professional and reliable all year service. Caring for your Property, Pool and People. References available on request. Call Ron: 637 995 088, ppp247@hotmail.co.uk www.pppaxarquia.com

PROPERTY RENTALS wBuy a home spain/rent a home spain, Avenida Andalucia, 135, Torre del Mar. Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@rentahomespain.com Website: www.rentahomespain.com wProperties – call Pauline 619 58 9696 for your rental requirements in the Viñuela, Periana and Alcaucin areas. www.andalusiproperties.com We also offer architectural services and surveys and have a number of reasonably prices houses for sale.

RESTAURANTS wtaj Mahal ( Torre del Mar ) Avda. Anadalucia, Blq. Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, C/Timon. Tel: 952 547 798 wtaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 or 667 934 731 wtaj Mahal (Torrox Costa) Ctra Nacional - 340 next to Post Office. Tel: 952 534 972 / 634 051 535 w restaurant Caribe, Bloque 7, Local 13, Costa del Oro, Torrox Costa. Tlf: 952 530 831

pavement boards, estate agency for sale boards and more. Call us on Tel: 628 594 387 or Email: redhousesigns@yahoo.co.uk, Website: www.redhousesigns.com

SOLICITORS wC&D solicitors Specialists in Real Estate, Civil and Tax Law. Tel: 952 532 582 www.cdsolicitors.net or email:info@cdsolicitors.net

SPAS & SAUNAS wtime Out spas & saunas. Serving The Costa del Sol for more than 10 Years. Hundreds of Spas Installed! We service all Brands of Spas so come to us - we are the Professionals. 952 52 43 94 www.timeoutspas.com

TYRES wCar, 4x4 and motorcycle tyres supplied and fitted. Punctures repaired, wheel balancing, competitive prices. Also ITV (Mot) welding. For a no obligation quote call: 676 719 066 / 620 627 214 or 952 517 502. Email: sainbena@hotmail.com Also iron work made to order.

WEB DESIGNERS

w2Js removals Ltd, House Clearances, UKSpain-UK, Local and International removals, Reliable service, free quotes, no job too small. Fully insured. Call: June or John 649 662 012 / 618 846 868 Email: jmcc1957@yahoo.co.uk warnold removals Local & International. Great service, fair price. Tel: 685 360 193 www.arnoldremovals.es Call. 626 160 869 info@arnoldremovals.es

wspanglish webs, Web designs, Database Programmes, Hosting, Domains, Real Estate Sites, English – Spanish Translation. All at realistic prices. Call Rachel: 951 708 454 or 691 660 187 Website: www.spanglishwebs.com Email: info@spanglishwebs.com wsokrak web Design, Quality web design at the lowest price! Get an eye catching, easy to navigate website in English, Spanish and more, to make your business available worldwide. All our prices are affordable and include hosting and your domain for the first year with no hidden fees. For more information, visit www.sokrakwebdesign.com or contact us on (+34) 666 731 759

SATELLITE T.V.

WELLS

wtotal satellite installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com wsky shop torre del Mar. Call: 667 235 205 or 952 541 147 wsat. Co. Freesat HD & Sky Digital, dishes, alignments, installations. We also sell HD TVs. Call TOM 7 days a week for service. 657 484 853. All equipment delivered, installed & guaranteed for 2 years. Free demos every Sat. 2pm

wwater well: drilling for water supply and irrigation Plumbing and electrical installation, legalisation, water works construction/repairing. Call us: 666 13 88 86, or e-mail: plumbingwell@gmail.com free consultation.

REMOVALS

SIGN MAKERS wredhouse signmakers. We specialise in the design and making of all types of signs - shops,

WINDOW TINTING wMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat ,glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571644 546 176 solarshadetinting@gmail.com


Have your Installation in January


CANiLLAS DE ACEiTUNo

FP0784 A marvellous, 178m2, luxury 3 bedroom villa with easy access, 10m x 5m pool, stables for 3 horses, 3 paddocks and marvellous views

625,000€

A newly reformed, Nerja - Jardines de Nerja A 142m2, two apartment style one bedroom terrace bedroom property property with a one in this popular bedroom basement village, ten minutes apartment. Private drive to the coast terrace garden with and convenient to southerly aspect all amenities FP0787 269,000€ and views to the sea 59,000€

iznate

FP0716

WISHING ALL OUR CLIENTS AND FRIENDS A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! tOrrE OFFiCE Calle Playa Marina, 2D Torre del Mar. 29740 Tel: 952 54 71 31 Mob: 606 087 362 NErJa OFFiCE Calle El Barrio, 11 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306

The Sentinella Axarquia January 11  

The little mag that fits in your bag for info on the go

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