Thousand Years

Thousand Years by Jusalanne Matulac

The sun is about to set and another day is about to end. As the early streak of light begins, another generation is about to rise and some are about to end. However, here I am alive for more than a decade of existence. I tell you, your validity doesn't vary on how useful you are to the society. I can testify.

I have been too valuable in every way, even in such little ways but I ended up being thrown away for the rest of my life. And, the fact that I am illiterate, I learned that no matter how a person educates himself, one thing he couldn't learn is to save me and the earthly world because of his slight ignorance. Thanks to my suppleness, I have gone to different places, through the land, water, and even on air - I survived. Covered with endless dents, I endured the days on the deep trench, cold weather on the side street, floating on the ocean, the smell of the canals, the heat of the sun, being dumped and crashed onto, and a whole lot of things that no one could imagine in the episodes of my 1000 years.

But it has been too long. Witnessing what is happening to the world - the evolution of people from the destruction of the trees up until the loss of humanity in each person. I stood still. I stood still when people disregarded me after my worth. I am too tired to keep adding cavity to my green pastures.

I have been stationed everywhere for a long period of time. When will they stop using me? I just want to die but burning me will emit a larger peril.

Where Life Meets Death by Godwin Robert Tan

Papuntang Langit ni Leslie

"Kung ako'y mamamatay, pupunta ako sa langit." "Kung ako'y mamatay, pupunta ako sa langit."

Nakangiti ngunit hindi. Hindi, dahil tila di ko madama ang nakaguhit na kurba sa aking mga labi. Mukhang pagod na yata ang mga pisnging ito sa pag‐paparanas ng kabanalan sa'king mukha. Tuloy 'di ko kayang gawin ng maayos.

Hindi ito ang una at tatlong beses na pagbibigay kumpyansa ko sa aking sarili habang binabanggit ang mga katagang ako'y paparoon sa langit. Sa aking pag‐tatantiya, nasa ika-isang libo ko na itong sambit. Eh, bakit ba panay panalangin itong aking ginagawa? Masama bang maging kabanal-banal? Nakaluhod ako ng tunay at nakaharap sa altar ng napa-biglang isip na may kakulangan pa rin. "Hindi ito sapat," bigla akong nanalangin muli sa ika-dalawampung beses, nagdarasal na pupunta akong langit. Papagitna ang sambit sa nangangalahating orasyon -- malapit na muli ako roon, malapit na malapit habang mahigpit na mag‐kakaugnay ang mga daliri sa pagdarasal. Nakapikit matang nagpapakitan walang tumbas ang salitang mataimtim kung hindi ko gagawin.

Ngunit, istorbo ang pagkabagabag habang nadarama ang presensya nang yaong ngiting sumisilay sa aking isipan, iyon ang masamang ngiti at mukhang nanlalait. Napadilat, ngunit patuloy ang dilang nagsasalitang Poon sa harapan at siya ngang nakamasid ang mga matang nangingilabot sa aking pakiramdam. Nawala na ako sa aking panalangin, isang kasalanan ito! Bagaman wala akong nagawa at nagpadala sa simoy nang kawalang ulirat.

"Bakit ka nakangiti?", Kunot noong aking sambit habang patuloy sa pagtitig sa kanyang mukha. Malinis ito at tila ba tingkad ang kanyang kabanalan. Gusto kong maging katulad niya. Pero hindi, masyadong makasalanan ang katulad niya. "Mapagpanggap! -- " "Senorita maayos lang po ba kayo?" Tila mapapasigaw ako sa di kanais nais na tanong nito dahilan para mawala ang aking paningin sa makasalanang iyon.

"Ano sa tingin mo ang iyong ginagawa?", aniya nito, "Rinig ko ang inyong sigaw baka magdulot po ito ng kapusukan, nasa loob pa po tayo nang simbahan."

Alam kong bahay ito ng Diyos, napasigaw ako pero ano sa palagay mo ang iyong gagawin kapag may makasalanang pumasok sa bahay dasalan? Katulad ng nakikita -- makasalanan ang nasa harapan. Kailangan mawala ang tingin at ngiti nitong ipinagkakaloob sa akin, at sa mga tagpong ito baka hindi ako makapagpigil na magdasal muli't muli.

"Alam ko ang aking ginagawa, utusan lang kita." Namumunang mga mata ko siyang tinitigan, habang di nakapagpigil ay tumayo na't pinaglandas ang nag-iinis kong kamay sa kanyang tagiliran. "Aray !" "Paumanhin Poon, naglandas lamang ang aking mga kamay sa kanyang tagil‐iran. Hindi ko iyon sinadya." Pagmamakaawang sambit, at muli't muling nagtan‐da ng krus. Napatingin na naman ang aking paningin saking utusan at nilaro ang mga daliring pinuntahan ang kanyang tagiliran dahilan upang mapa-aray uli't ito. "Oh, Poon di ko talaga sadya nakita niyong naglandas lang ang aking ka‐may.'' Naghihintay tugon, nakabukang kamay at handang manghingi nang tamang pagpapahinahon sa sarili nang muli na namang sumilay ang ngiting iginagawad nito.

"Nakita mo iyon?" Biglang nataranta sa nakikita at agarang napatitig ng masama sa altar.

"Isa siyang demonyo!" pagkaraan ng ilang kumpas ng aking mumunting hin‐tuturo ay siya ring daming titig ng mapanghusga ang sumilab saking kinatatayuan. Biglang nagkumpulan ang lahat habang kabilang na roon ang paghatak ng aking alalay sa aking kamay. ''Maghunos-dili ka senyorita, humayo na tayo!'' pagsusumamo nito na pilit kong nilabanan. Bakit ganoon? Anong makasalanang gawa ba ang aking dinulot? ''Rinig kong baliw daw ang inay niyan. Baka baliw din ang anak.'' ''Iyan ba yung bayarang babae sa bahay aliwan na pinakasalan nong Don? Ah, kaya naman pala.''

Nagpantig ang aking magkabilang tenga habang papalabas sa lugar na iyon. Maka-ilang ulit ko ring nilalagpasan ang mga titig ng yaong mga maka-Diyos at hinayaan ko na mismo ang kanilang mga bibig sa panghuhusga sa akin. Hi‐nayaan ko na di dahil ayoko lang magkasala kundi ayoko kong madungisan ng kasumpang sumpong na pananampalataya na mayroon sila. Ganu'n ako kabanal.

Walang pagkakasala at pupuntang langit.

Ngunit inaamin ko. Anak ako ng isang baliw, na tinakwil ang sariling ina. Pumuntang bahay aliwan at doon nagpakasasa sa sarap na pinapalasap ng mundo sa akin. Wala akong nagawa. Hindi naman iyon kasalanan - hindi makatanggi tutal biyaya iyon ng Poon. Lahat ng iyon.

Ngunit, ito na naman, binabagabag na naman ako habang nakadaupang pa‐paakyat sa kalesang pinagmamay-ari ko. Tila nagigiliw ako sa pag-iisip kung bakit nasilayan ko ang ngiting yu'n. Muli't muli akong nagwala at parang di ko na kontrolado ang aking katawan. Pakiramdam ko'y binabaliw ako ng ngiting yu’n. ''Ano sa tingin mo ang iyong ginagawa?'' Mariin akong nakapikit nang marinig ko ang boses na yu'n.

''Paumanhin. Paumanhin. Tama na!'' ikalawang dinig mula sa boses nung umiiyak.

''Maawa ka! Wala siyang kasalanan. Anak ko iyan!'' Si inay. Kung hindi nga ako nagkakamali ang boses na yaon ay kay inay. Pero bakit ko ito naririnig? Maka-ilang ulit ko pa rin itong naririnig, hindi ko alam pero habang tumat‐agal nakakaramdam na ako ng hindi maganda. Sumasanib ang mga katagang paulit-ulit at patuloy na bumabalik sa aking isipan. Hanggang sa 'di ko namalayan unti-unting bumagsak ang mga luhang noon pang gustong kumawala. Pero hindi! Mali ito! Hindi ako dapat nakakaramdam ng ganito. Ayaw ng Poon na maging mahina ako. Isa akong talunan sa aking kabanalan kapag magasal tao ako. Wala ito sa banal na kasulatan - magiging masama akong tao. Noon pa ma'y, mula nang tuparin ko ang nais ng Poon, lahat ng aking gi‐nagawa ay napapabuti sakin; mayroong biyayang hatid. Isa roon ang pagbigay sakripisyo na ang nais ng Poon sakin ay hayaan at iwan si inay dahil iyon ang maganda sa paningin. Magiging perpekto kang nilalang, malayong-malayo sa pa‐giging tao, at magiging malapit ang depinisyon sa pagiging banal. Nagliwaliw at paglilihis ng landas, dahil nakatulong ang bahay aliwan sakin na mapabuti ang aking buhay. Dalawa iyon sa gusto Kong sundin mula sa Poon kaya agad niya akong biniyayaan. Malayong-malayo sa pagbibigay biyaya ng iba at ang sa akin ay para bang Isa ako sa paboritong sugo mula sa itaas.

Pero nakaramdam ako ng init na nagmumula mula sa kung saan. Pinakiram‐daman ko ang paligid, kumapa ang aking mga kamay sa kung saan, at tila may

gusto itong hawakan. Patuloy pa rin akong nakapikit pero hindi ko alam kung bakit patuloy lamang nakapikit ang mga matang 'to. Gusto kong dumilat pero hindi ko kaya. Saka ko rin napagtanto na sa kung kanina nasa loob ako ng kalesa ngayon nama'y nasa makitid akong espasyo na tila nasisikipan. Kung kanina'y malinis at malawak pa ang hanging aking nalalanghap, ngayon nama'y nagiging limitado na ang aking paghinga. Ano ito? Ito na ba ang katapusan ko? Bakit wala akong naririnig? Nasaan na ang aking alalay? Nasaan na ang mga umuugong na kalesa. Ito na ba ang huli? ''Ito na ba ang langit?'' Bakit hindi ako makahinga? ''Poon, ako'y tulungan mo!'' natataranta, biglang humikbi, at biglang napadpad ang aking palad sa isang matigas na bagay. Anumasagi saking isipan ang madilim, napakadilim, at sa sobrang dilim nararamdaman ko ito mula sa talukap ng aking mga mata.

Huling napagtanto ang mga karanasang pumupuna saking kabanalan. Nag-aalangan at biglang napadilat sa katotohanang kinamumuhian ko ang buhay na ito. Nagising, ngunit tila huli para imulat ang mga matang nabulag.

Oo, ako'y sumasamba ngunit hindi sa Poong inaakala niyo. Ako'y nanalangin ngunit hindi para sa kabutihang pinaglilingkuran ng tao. Masyado akong naging tukso. Hindi ko lang maamin. Huli na ng magpagtanto ko na pinagbabayaran pala ang kasalanan at binilog ang kaisipang kahit mamatay walang parusang pinagbaba‐yaran. Huli na ng mapagtantong pinikot pala ako sa isang eksena kung saan wala ako sa umpisa para humingi ng kapatawaran.

Biglaang hinatak at inangkin ng kamatayang isiniwalat mula sa hukay. Ako'y binaon mula sa nakatalukbong na kabaong. Hindi kailanman makakaalis ngunit mamamatay sa liyab ng kasalanan. Isang linyang guhit na lamang ako, nag-iisa habang nag-iisip ng ideyang -"Ako'y patay na. Pupunta ba akong langit?"

Hindi ko alam –ni Ella Jane Mercado

Dalawa kaming magkakapatid. Inay ko ay nagtatrabaho bilang isang kasambahay sa kapatid ng Lolo ko na mayaman at ang Itay ko naman ay nagtatrabaho sa gobyerno. Ika nga ng iba, bakit isang kasambahay ang aking Inay sapagkat maganda naman ang trabaho ng aking Itay? Hindi ko alam kung bakit eh. Basta, ang alam ko, hindi masaya si Inay sa poder ng Itay.

Masaya naman ang aming pamilya. 'Yung tipong magkakasama kami sa sala at nanonood ng telebisyon ngunit hindi naman kasama ang Inay dahil gabi na kasi umuuwi 'yun pero hindi ko alam kung bakit eh, Talaga bang hindi masaya si Inay si poder ni Itay?

Alas singko pa lang ng hapon sa araw ng Biyernes ay nakauwi na si Inay. Ako na ang nagpakain sa mga alagang manok ni Itay. Nakapagtataka dahil sa araw ng Biyernes ay hindi talaga umuuwi ng maaga iyon, hindi ko alam kung bakit? Lasing nanaman siguro yun kung umuwi.

Nagising ako sa iyak at sigaw ng Inay, "Sige! Patayin mo ako Eduardo!" Agad akong napatayo sa taranta dahil parang hindi kanais-nais ang nang‐yayari sa labas ng aking kwarto. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagigising nalang ako sa ganitong senaryo tuwing Sabado ng madaling araw. Pero tila alam ko na kung bakit. Tila ba'y inaayawan kong aminin ang dahilan na ito sa sarili ko ng makita ko na itinututok ng Itay ang kutsilyo sa leeg ng aking umiiyak na Inay.

Unod-mangunguma//El Niño ni Aly

"It feeds on farmer's flesh. Its teeth protruded with shiny fangs peeping on each corner of its mouth. Letting out demonic screeches, it haunts the night away," Celso, eyes red with fear and grief, shakily tells the farmer's union's president, Ernie, details of last night. --- Hda. Estrella, Sitio Verde --Both farmers, Ernie and Celso spent their whole lives in Hacienda Estrella where the sons of their sons find their fates in the wet mud. Estrella was home and home was Estrella. The land where they work for and live in was generously given by Don Adonis Estrella, the late great grandfather of Sitio Verde's captain, Atty. Apollo Estrella-Intal, during the late 50s.

Celso's wife, Delicia, raised their family of 10 in a 40-square-meter lot with a nipa hut situated in the center and a small chicken coop in the corner. The incessant crowing of the poultry begins each day of the bunch as they prepare for the morning's meal. Each child is provided a small space for sleeping as the sleeping quarters inside the hut could not shelter a comfortable slumber. With its rickety bamboo floor and posts and sewn sacks as walls, the children learned to live a much simpler life.

As part of the Dimaculangan legacy, Ernie decided to take the responsibility bestowed upon him by his late father, Gracio or Asyong. The Dimaculangan family was entrusted by the Estrellas with the land work and accounting. As a vow to keep peace and system, the head of the household by then, Manuel Sr., volunteered as leader of the hacienda's workforce.

--- Lost and Found --Recently, 15 farmers of Hda. Estrella went missing. Five days later, bodies were found by tanods of Sitio Verde near the riverbank; some submerged in the rice fields, others hanged upside-down on the mango trees' branches. A monstrosity, they cried. Maidens and housewives alike were weeping in agony as their dearly beloved are now the dearly departed. Since then, heads of households, mostly from late night drinking sprees, were one by one attacked and killed. An aswang, they whispered. Dead bodies jaundiced with gouged liver parts and twisted intestines as their carcasses dripped and were eaten by the dogs. The farmers were told that there is an ongoing investigation by the local police.

Celso, being the breadwinner of the family, became alarmed of the news of the killings.

He was confused as to how he could defeat an aswang whose claws were said to be as sharp as the eagle's talons, wings as wide as their land, and bloodied face as crimson as his rooster's feather's. He noticed that the killings are looming in as he believed there was a pattern - forming an "E". First, Esteban from the leftmost house above. Next, Eleazar, right to Esteban then Edgar next to him. After several ones, from the corner, Ernie then him. Maybe the beast is after bigger meat.

Beads of sweat started to fall from his creased forehead as he kept on thinking of ways. "To escape, to stay and fight and prepare, to surrender?" he thought, "How about the children?" Then, Niño, baffled by his father's worrying, asked, "What's wrong?" --- Niño --Born on the 19th of January, Niño was thought as a blessing much like the child Je‐sus who was sent to give hope to its believers. Upon his enquiry, Celso started to instruct and lay out his plans for the coming of the beast. "Take note. The monster may be in any shape or form. It may be one of our chickens, the goats outside, or the neighbors' dogs," he whispered as he points to the possible locations of the animals surrounding the house. "You're the oldest boy among the remaining lot, Noy. If I am to be gone, it's just you and them," he continued.

The morning after, the two placed trails of rock salt around the hut - on the windows, doorstep, roof, and foundations. Then, they splashed holy water from the blessed deep well on the walls of the hut. Lastly, small bottles of coconut oil were placed near the salted windows.

Scrawny Niño helped his siblings inside as the sun began to sink. "The devil awaits the setting of the sun before it seeks for blood," Delicia warned the children. Celso followed, strengthening his grip on his binangon. It was half past eight and they were still cooped inside, waiting for any sign or any sound. Then, there was screaming. Louder screaming followed. The tanods are nowhere to be heard. Celso's ears rang as he heard Agnes, Er‐nie's wife, cried for help. "Don't ever leave them," he comanded Niño as he left for Ernie'ss hut. There he found Ernie unconscious near the dining table with Agnes in the corner of the kitchen stiffly waving a wooden cross against the monster, hoping to ward it off.

The hut was filled with hot smoke and smelled with incense. Celso thought that there was a fire. He swiftly raged to the monster. Lo and behold, the devil's face, soiled with blood, glared upon him with sharp, outward teeth and wild yellow eyes. Celso loudly gasped in fear and began to pray as he took several steps back. He then took the courage then chased the monster with his binangon. The monster felt outnumbered then fled from

the hut. As the beast fled, Niño caught an up-close glimpse of it from the window slightly pried open.

--- The Meeting --"It feeds on farmer's flesh. Its teeth protruded with shiny fangs peeping on each corner of its mouth. Letting out demonic screeches, it haunts the night away," Celso, eyes red with fear and disbelief, shakily told Ernie details of last night.

Ernie called an emergency meeting to warn the others. Their fellow farmers filled the meeting hut with endless chatter and arguing if the monster is real or not and why was there not a single tanod to rescue the attacked or policeman securing the premises. "This is getting out of hand. We had to rely only on ourselves. We're not safe anymore," he said, soliciting more noise. Everyone in the room wanted to reach out to Atty. Estrella-Intal. As if the wind blew his name, the lawyer stepped inside the hut, silencing the debating lot. "I apologize if it took a while for me to reach here and grieve with you all," he said, "No need to worry I have brought assistance as well as protection with me. Goods and financial aid are available in the vans outside. Just approach my people. Policemen are also on their way." A man with a well-trimmed mustache and strong facial features peeped in the room. His right hand rubbed his belt where his gun holster is attached. Many thought he was the lawyer's guard.

The babbling subsided then each one of them shook hands with the lawyer. Celso, eager to ask for help, introduced himself to the lawyer. He then called Niño to meet the lawyer. Niño passed by the back of the hut where he stumbled upon the lawyer's guard. As his face rose to meet the guard's, his turned pale and frozen. The guard snuffed sensed the same thing. Likewise, he thought. Niño's eyes welled up with tears as he suddenly knew why and who. The guard took a pill-like object from his left pocket, raised it to Niño's face then popped it. Niño screeched, mostly in horror, from what he saw. "You want our fathers dead," he sobbed. "No. He wants you out of his land, poor boy. You were born in mud. You will die in mud," the guard snarled softly.

"I won't tell. I promise. I will ask papa for us to leave soon," Niño pleaded. "I don't trust a rat bred by rats. You poor folk cannot and will not understand value for you live for the little and the little are bad for business." One big gape fell into Niño's mouth as his body succumbed into the man's knife. "More farmer meat for the farmers' market." the man whispered. Celso looked for Niño. It has been an hour since he called for him.

Hush by Joelle Mariel Paderog

the 7 th

short story and poetry contest

Winning Entries

artwork by James Necarl Mesa