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design • art • photography • fashion • travel • music • craft • home • life

ISSUE 80 NOV/DEC 2017 AUS: $10.95 INC GST NZ: $12.95 INC GST UK: £7.99 ISSN 14497794

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PROUDLY AUSTRALIAN OWNED | SINCE 1988 www.whitehouse-design.edu.au

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CREATED BY

Stocksy is an artist-owned cooperative raising the bar — and the industry’s expectations — of stock photography and video. S T O C K S Y. C O M


BY RESPECT


issue 80 talented contributors photographic delphine blast, candice carlin, leanne dixon, bri hammond, heather lighton, annette o’brien, berta pfirsich, david pollock, roza, putu sayoga, adriana torres, hilary walker, jessie webb, lukasz wierzbowski, duncan wright editor-in-chief jo walker jo@frankiepress.com.au editor sophie kalagas sophie@frankiepress.com.au assistant editor & online editor mia timpano mia@frankiepress.com.au

editorial téa van den brenk, caro cooper, rebecca douglas, koren helbig, michelle law, daniel moore, sam prendergast, helen razer, eleanor robertson, kate stanton, sinead stubbins, adriana torres, karina utomo illustration ashley ronning, dawn tan, cass urquhart, lieke van der vorst cover artist ana albero

senior designer aimee carruthers aimee@frankiepress.com.au designer & studio manager emily thiang emily@frankiepress.com.au general manager gaye murray gaye@frankiepress.com.au digital director suzi taylor suzi@frankiepress.com.au marketing manager anastasia michael anastasia@frankiepress.com.au marketing coordinator ben eastwood ben@frankiepress.com.au

advertise in frankie national advertising manager victoria riddell victoria@frankiepress.com.au • 0410 300 849 account manager – victoria isabella ubaldi isabella@frankiepress.com.au • 0424 218 955 advertising sales executive – directories emma white emma@frankiepress.com.au • 0416 146 658 advertising production bree higgerson bree@frankiepress.com.au

group advertising manager lane delany lane@frankiepress.com.au operations manager bree higgerson bree@frankiepress.com.au production manager di josipovic di@frankiepress.com.au publishing assistant camilla walker camilla@frankiepress.com.au retail sales & circulation manager alissa relf alissa@frankiepress.com.au business analyst sid smith assistant accountant ryan trac

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first thought

our lives are full of milestones, big and small. The first time you go on holidays with your family and nobody throws a massive tear-filled wobbly (page 84); the moment you realise you dig someone enough to start a band with them, even though they live across the country (page 98); the day you win a prize for making a baby cry the quickest (page 128); the light bulb moment when you invent the teabag, all because someone else was a bit thick (page 28). This here issue is a bit of a milestone for us – we’ve made it to a whopping 80 issues! There have been late nights, teary eyes (from laughter, of course), pen-covered hands and copious amounts of coffee downed, and we’re proud as punch to become the magazine equivalent of an octogenarian. Here’s to 80 more! xx Sophie and the frankie team

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Icons of Scandinavian design

Ultima Thule Inspired by the melting ice of Lapland, Ultima Thule glasses are as contemporary today as when they were first created in 1968

iittala.com.au


contents

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73

33 30 100

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what’s inside

things of the past:

i wanna be adorned:

PAGE 28

PAGE 73

A handful of origin stories you never asked for

Local jewellery designers discuss their latest wares

creatives with kids:

the wayúu women:

PAGE 33

PAGE 88

Late-night rage, mashed banana and unexpected inspiration

A peep into one of the world’s last matriarchal societies

culture shock:

stranger wins:

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PAGE 128

Get the lowdown on some creamy yoghurt snacks

Very odd competitions from all around the globe

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contents

51

96

26

012 your say

073 let us adorn you

014 frank bits

080 essentials for women

024 blinded by choices

082 crafty

026 little art yurt

084 how to survive a family holiday

028 things of the past

088 the wayĂşu people

030 mutant ceramics

096 teeny-tiny treehouses

033 creatives with kids

098 sacred paws

042 road test

100 damn you, high school sport

044 hostile territory

102 silver screen cheat sheet

046 all in one

105 homebodies

048 i love my shop

117 art and about

051 down the garden path

118 if my search bar could talk

058 famous goths

120 pots and pans

061 writers’ piece

122 collector

066 some snazzy drink bottles

124 the coffee shop ofďŹ ce

068 the science of cute

126 on the job

070 voice of baceprot

128 weird competitions

011


your say Photo Candice Carlin

dear frankie

exhausting – road. So, I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to take that first step and speak up. I believe in you, lovely readers. xx Rebekah .

OH, HELLO THERE. WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU? LETTERS@FRANKIE.COM.AU

Yes, frankie! Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful and inspiring story of Emily Somers and Bravery Co. As someone who was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma last year at the ripe old age of 26, I found myself going through the same battles Emily describes. We tend to see cancer as an older person’s disease, and when a young person experiences it, people freak out. No one knows how to react, and that’s reflected in the Curly Sue wig choices I was constantly exposed to. Thank you for helping people realise it's OK to talk about cancer openly, and that there’s not only support, but also a voice for younger people going through this illness. Georgia xoxo .

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My beloved frankie, I must admit, we’ve had a bit of a rough patch this year. Uni has gotten the better of me recently, and I’ve missed a few issues. Walking into the newsagency back home, I saw the very last copy of issue 79 and could only put it down to fate. Reading about living with glasses, how to break up with someone nicely, those lovely natives and the Monte Carlo-style bickies – it's like you knew I was back and wrote it all for me. But, then again, that's you six times a year. Katie x .

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Dear frankie, I sighed out of empathy and relief after reading Caro Cooper’s “Popping the Question”. I spent years silently struggling through depression and anxiety, and focused all my time on helping everyone else. As a dedicated self-care advocate these days, I can’t imagine my life if I’d continued on that dangerous – not to mention

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Dearest frankie, I love flowers. I love sending them; receiving them; growing them; picking them from gardens when no one's looking. I love them so much that I've had an assortment of them etched permanently onto my skin. So my little heart skipped a beat when I saw the cover of the latest frankie, and my delight only increased when I turned to “Know Your Native Flora”. The artwork and accompanying descriptions are nothing short of delightful. The only problem is the drawings are double-sided, so I can only display one beautiful image at a time. I think I'll rotate them monthly. Meghan x .

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Dear frankie, My nan died yesterday, and as I sat eating my brekkie, I flicked over to find your “Ask an Oldie” article. I'd like to think my nan, being the lovely person she was, would have had some special, positive words for us (much like these treasures), but, in reality, I guess all I'd need from her is a big hug, a cup of tea and a piece of date cake. Thank you, guys, for once again making me feel like I'm part of the frankie world – it's a pretty damn awesome place to be! Danica .

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THE LETTER OF THE ISSU UE WINS A TAKEAWEI SUN PLANTER, RRP $145, FROM TAKEAW WEI.COM Dear frankie, I read Bill's poem in the editor's letter on a plane coming home from holidays. I'm a smiler, but I couldn't stop smiling. I’ve written it up on a blackboard at work and on a large piece of poster paper at home. Yessterday I was waiting for a takeaway coffee and smile ed at a stranger who was also waiting. I got the best reaction: a smile back, then the smile got bigger and they literally had no control ove er it. Thanks, Bill. Amanda x


& s    

 

REID VINTAGE BIKE


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open house h kuwaii Please excuse us while we mime several high fives in the direction of the Kuwaii team, whose SS17/18 collection, The Garden, is out right about now. Just quietly, it’s a bit of a doozy, with long lines and floaty fabrics inspired by ancient Roman frescoes, and earthy tones that transport us to ye olde Italy on a steamy summer’s night. It’s all quite lovely, really – and you can peruse the whole thing over at kuwaii.com.au should you wish to.

Sadly, this wooden Verona house is not human-sized, so taking up residence within its royal blue walls is out of the question. It does, however, make a nifty dwelling for writing implements, cutlery, or any other doodads requiring architecturally inspired storage – and you can pick one up for around $63 a pop. See more from Ukraine maker Wood U Like Too – Dimitry Pokrovsky to his folks – at wooduliketoo.etsy.com

cut a rug

fromage à trois Word has it Bono once booked his beloved hat its very own seat on a plane. We can’t afford to do that for the thing we cherish most in this world – cheese – but we can transport it in style via this enamel dome from Schoolhouse Electric & Supply Co. (Bonus: no one will accidentally plant their butt on it.) At around $72, it’s a fraction of the price of an airline ticket, and no weight restrictions apply, either. Grab some Brie and Stilton then head to schoolhouse.com, should it tickle your fancy.

Ever seen a rug so frigging nice-looking that you wanted to keep a small piece of it on your person at all times? Hayley F. James has, but she decided against hacking a chunk from the striking floor covering. Instead, the Californian textile maker took a less violent approach, using a traditional floor loom to weave together this fluffy, woolly clutch (and a bunch more just like it). If it’s giving you warm and fuzzies, you can pick it up from hayleyfjames.etsy.com for about 188 bucks.

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in the cat house Look, you could use the cardboard box that came with your microwave as a home for your resident moggie. But would it look this swish? Devised by the clever sorts at Design Studio Más in Seoul, South Korea, the LUNARBOX can be plonked solo in the corner or stacked to create a kitty playground. Plus, the cubes are held together with special magnets to avoid an impending tabby avalanche, which is neat. Around $315, designstudiomas.com.


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pretty petals bye bye, love Technically this card was intended for artist Gillian Wilson’s furry feline friend, but we see no good reason why you couldn’t gift it to a human-type pal as well. It was designed and screen-printed in a Canadian city called Guelph (a name which is rather fun to say), and is quite effective at helping you bid a loved one adieu. To nab a card, grab around $5 and pop by triangletrees.etsy.com.

Just look at this sweet little daisy pin from New Jersey lass Kate Gabrielle. It’s cute as a button (or brooch, as it were), and can be picked up for around $19 from kategabrielle. com. Then again, we have a handful to give away – so stop by frankie.com.au/ win, fill in your details, and one of them could be yours for nothing. Oh yeah!

first times, last times with… nite jewel First time you fell in love? When I was 12 years old, I was completely head over heels in love with this older guy in my acting program. I used to do love spells with candles in my room every day in the hope that he would notice me. I actually think they kind of worked, because by the end of the year we started hanging out. Last time you made a special dinner for someone? I love to cook, and try to have dinner parties fairly regularly with close friends. At the last one I made this thing called birria, which is a special Mexican stew that originates from my dad’s hometown. First time you told your folks you wanted to pursue music seriously? Probably when I was around six or seven. I said I wanted to be a singer – that was my dream. Last time you felt vulnerable? Every. Single. Day. First time you stole something? I had a shoplifting problem when I was around 13. I actually got arrested for stealing stuff from a chemist. I got handcuffed, a mugshot and everything. Last time you made something by hand? I’m currently making special ‘tour only’ CDs with handwritten messages for my European tour. I’ll probably bring some to Australia, as well. First time you felt proud of a song you’d written? When I was around 10, I wrote this song called “Good Fun” or “Good World” or something weird like that. At the time, I thought it was the best song ever. Last time you had a chat with a fan? Just this morning I was messaging with a fan who requested a t-shirt in a special size. The same fan has my face tattooed on his arm. Die-hard.

female support system

lina rennell topless hats

Meet the Hook twins. They may be brassy, but they’re also supportive as all get out, and won’t think twice about holding your bag or hand towel while you pee. Other things they’re fond of carrying: jewellery, lightweight coats, kitchen utensils. All in all, they’re a delightful pair, and you can see more of them at kayeblegvad.com if you please. (Note: you might like to bring about $56 when you visit.)

At last, a solution to the eternal conundrum: how does one remain sun smart in summer, while also keeping one’s hair from becoming permanently stuck to one’s clammy neck? Enter Lina Rennell and her topless wide-brim hats. The canvas rings come in six snazzy hues; cast enough shade to stop the sun from sizzling your shnoz; and leave room for a ponytail or perky bun to peek out at the top. Genius! Head to beklina.com with around $110 if you’d like to nab one in time for summer.

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don’t leaf me this way Nature: it really floats our boat. Add a little flora to your stationery - fune. It’s a nice drawer with this washi tape (around $5) from kami no little reminder to step outside and take a deep breath while the trees are in bloom. kaminofune.etsy.com

wearable origami Folding paper is one thing, but folding dresses? Now that is a skill we’d like to learn. Luckily, New York-based designer Mengly Hernandez has gone ahead and figured it out for us, constructing these silk origami dresses for her clothing line, LINEA Germania. Wear them out to dinner; fold them down into teeny-tiny squares for easy-as-pie packing purposes. Talk about handy. lineagermania.com

just peach peachy nadinoo Oh, Nadinoo. How do we love thee? Let us count the ways. We love you for your drapey shapes that graze our legs so daintily. We love you for your natural fibres that make us feel floaty, cosy and free. But most of all, dear Nadinoo, we love that this range, Simplewear, is designed for navigating life – through all its ebbs and flows – with comfort and ease. Do you also like what you see? Head to nadinoo.squarespace.com to have more of a peep.

We just can’t get enough of this tote – and not only because it makes a cheeky reference to one of the coolest bands in the history of bands, Depeche Mode. We’re also rather enamoured with the carrying implement in question because its Barcelona-based maker, Noemí Rebull – aka La Mandanga – goes by the life motto: more puns, less guns. And no one can argue with that. Around $20, mandanga.etsy.com.

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flight of fancy For a light fitting that’s full of feathered critters that go ‘cheep’, this chandelier from Kekoni will require a bit of penny-pinching. But imagine gazing up each day at a flock of (faux) birds gathered near your roof? You’d feel like Snow White, minus the harem of small, pointy-capped gents. (We’ve always found them a bit too dopey, grumpy and sneezy for our liking, anyway.) kekoni.etsy.com


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how about tatt

all the kings men

who, what, where, when, why, how with meredith lones from nots

Lovers of clever design and carrying things, rejoice! The nice folks at All The Kings Men have combined all your interests into one trusty tote bag, which is cut from a single piece of leather and sits tote-ally flat when empty. (Sorry, we had to.) Made in Melbourne from New Zealand hide, it could be yours for $85 if you visit allthekingsmen.com.au

Who has the best dance moves in the band? We’re all the best dancers ever when we’re drunk, so buy us a drink and put on some Prince. What kind of tunes do you make? Tunes that couldn’t even be called a tune. Earworms that you can’t sing. Where’s a nice spot to have a drink in Memphis? Lamplighter Lounge is a fun, old, musty, living room-style bar – a Memphis staple. Go there to feel the smoky air on your face and play some pool. They’ve also got the best jukebox in town, and the beer is cheap. When did you first discover punk rock? When I realised there was more than country music out there, I kind of went nuts listening to whatever I could get my hands on. I have a distinct memory from that time of my sister introducing me to Black Flag. That stuck with me, and led me to a lot of other bands that I still love. Why should we get along to a NOTS show? Come to a show and find out! Oh, and don’t forget to bring earplugs. How do you make a living? Almost all of us have service industry jobs. I clean houses and pick up painting commissions here and there, as well.

The last thing you want after spending hours being poked and prodded with a dye-covered needle is a crusty tattoo. (A Krusty tattoo, however, would be pretty rad.) Brooke and Rudie Rashid specialise in beauty therapy and tattooing respectively, and they’ve combined forces in their Melbourne studio to whip up a nifty little product called Inky Tattoo Salve. As well as looking cute as all get out, the soothing goop is 100 per cent natural and tested only on willing humans, giving you hydrated skin and a clear conscience, too. $19.95, inkytattoosalve.com

happy sad Taking pleasure from someone else’s sadness is not something we at frankie endorse. Nevertheless, this sad face tee from Brisbane label Yippy Whippy has inspired a grin from ear to ear. Also making us smile is the fact we have five of the t-shirts (rrp $50) to give away – stop by frankie.com. au/win to pop in your details and one of them could be yours. Hooray! yippywhippy.com

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spaces volume 4 is back Oh, hello there. This is a small public service announcement to let you know that Volume Four of frankie’s house-loving interiors book, SPACES, is available to buy once again! It was snapped up mighty quickly last time, so we’re giving you another chance to be inspired by 260 pages of creative cribs. Just head to frankie.com.au/spaces or stop by one of our friendly stockists – but get in quick, as copies are limited!


frank bits

now we’re corking Instead of putting a cork in it, why not try putting it in a cork? Especially when ‘it’ is a sprig of greenery and the cork in question is as nice-looking as these planters from Melanie Abrantes Designs. They’re environmentally friendly and super-porous, so your plant pal doesn’t gulp down too much water at once. Pick one up for around $114 at melanieabrantes. etsy.com.

say hello to olivia fay-williams from crying on the eastern freeway Describe Crying on the Eastern Freeway (COTEF) in six words, please. The best part of the week. What inspired you to start a choir? A friend initially got a motley crew of us together to sing at one of her art openings. We performed an arrangement of Kate Bush’s “Running Up That Hill” and it felt amazing. It’s so good to embrace being vulnerable, and that’s how singing in public makes you feel. How do you go about recruiting people? The choir isn’t so much about being a technically good singer as it is singing to make you feel good, so if that’s your vibe, we’re probably going to be obsessed with you. What goes down at a rehearsal? Lots of beverages are consumed. Crying, obviously. Reminiscing. We all talk about how much we love each other. There might be one song we’re really feeling and we’ll sing it six times in a row, and not get much else done. Who brings snacks? Each rehearsal is different. Sometimes a person or two will make dinner for everyone. We’ve had a wide variety of soups, homemade meat pies, dragon bowls, and charcoal chicken. Do you guys hang out outside of rehearsals? We don’t have any other friends. COTEF is our people. We play footy, watch movies, do tarot, hold hands and go away on weekends. It doesn’t have to be choir rehearsal for us to sing together into the wee hours. Has anything surprising happened on your choir-singing adventures so far? Courtney Barnett apparently thinks we’re awesome and none of us expected to fall so deeply we re awesome, in love with this weekly practice. It’s shaped our identitiess individually and together, and that’s pretty amazing.

ownsit! × laura blythman If you were to take a plain white blazer, pop it on your person, then spend some time rolling around in a puddle of rainbows, unicorn poop, sugar and good vibes, it would wind up looking something like this here EIGHTEEN jacket. (Probably.) A collaboration between colour-loving Melburnites Laura Blythman and Anna Owens – aka ownsit! – it’s a little slice of happiness that will set you back $230, and sits just right on a curvy hip. ownsit.com.au

fawning over fauna

catch some rays Sadly, bath time tends to lose its spark once we get old enough to bathe without parental supervision. Rubber duckies and Santa bubble beards give way to sophisticated bath salts and artfully placed candles – but who says bath toys and tax-paying duties must be mutually exclusive? Not us! From now on, we vow to conclude each soak by wrapping up in this stingray towel from Barcelona brand Don Fisher. Because we’re adults, and we can do what we want, Muuum. moonpicnic.com

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Forget the Velveteen Rabbit – this is the velveteen bilby, stitched up by Brisbane-based bilby fan Alice Nightingale. The fauna-covered cotton purse is available for $40 at alicenightingale.etsy.com, and is rather handy for carting around all your daily bits and bobs (seeds, fruit and other bilby snacks included). How gosh-darn delightful.


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jack by sam am Well, this is a little bit clever. local designer lady Samantha Date sprinkles spices into her polymer clay before moulding it into fun shapes, then dangles her creations from a string so you can wear them round your neck. Peppercorns and chilli flakes are her seasonings of choice, and if you fancy some spicy action of your own, you can nab a necklace for $39.95 at jackbysam.com.

millésime baby At $120 a pop, you might want to keep these hand-knitted garments at a safe distance from mashed avocado, mud and other tot-related gunk. Rather, the alpaca wool pieces – designed in Melbourne by Millésime Baby and stitched up by some clever ladies in South America – are made to be treasured; passed down through generations of knit-sporting bubs. Fancy spending some dosh on a child aged four and under? Head to millesimebaby.com.au to order something decked out with sweet frills and pom poms.

screw it When you think about it, opening a bottle of wine should be quite difficult for an elephant, what with the lack of opposable thumbs and thirst for a fine drop. And yet, here we have an obliging pachyderm that’ll pop a cork or bottle cap any old time you want. Designed by the nice types at Kikkerland, it’ll set you back about $22 (which happens to be around the same price as a decent bottle of plonk). kikkerland.com

the dressmaker’s companion Do you know a seam from a hem? Have you dabbled with the idea of making your own duds? Local lady Liz Haywood has compiled a veritable bible of all things sewing-related, and it goes by the name The Dressmaker’s Companion. Featuring glossaries, stepby-step instructions, sweet illustrations and loads more for beginner-to-intermediate seamstresses, we have five copies (worth $64.99 each) up for grabs – stop by frankie. com.au/win and you might be in luck. lizhaywood.com.au

daisy watt blankies Hugs are ace. Hugs from your nan before she hands you a cup of tea; hugs from a koala (even those secretly harbouring chlamydia); self-imposed hugs from a fluffy blanket. Take these cosy throws from Melbourne lass Daisy Watt: woven thread by thread on a loom named Peggy, we daresay there’d be nothing but safety and comfort in their embrace. Ahh, that’s a bit nice. daisywatt.com

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SIMPLE LUXURY. The newest edition to the Simple Watch Co. stable. #3 is a contemporary classic style with a narrow rectangular body for a sophisticated and ageless look. This watch is for those who appreciate timeless quality and a clean ďŹ nish. #3 Launching November.

#

3


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arched eyebrow x navabi Yay, hooray and happy day! The chaps behind plus-size clothing store navabi have teamed up with UK fashion blogger Bethany Rutter to release a womenswear collection for sizes 14 to 28. (And, just quietly, it’s a bit bloody great.) Featuring sweet gingham, ruffled shoulders, paper-bag waists and skirts with a flick – not to mention colours so bright they’d make a packet of Skittles jealous – the line is available from navabi.co.uk from around $65 to $212. Oh yeah.

mother + joey Step one in the formation of your von Trapp-style family band is a hop, skip and jump over to motherandjoey.com.au to pick up some matching duds. Based in the Hunter Valley, NSW, mother + joey make classic styles for mums and bubs alike – think linen shirts, Peter Pan shifts and relaxed pants – and they all come in natural fabrics that – get this – require little to no ironing. High five for that!

We’d love to switch eyeballs with Labrini Pneuma. The clever clog has a knack for making earrings that combine vibrant colours, jagged shapes and jingly-jangly bits – which might have something to do with the fact she spent her formative years in Kefalonia, an island off Greece, before settling back in Melbourne. Then again, she might just be awesome. Either way, pop past labrinipneuma. com to nab yourself a set of handmade earlobe adornments, if you please.

snap happy

pin this Ordinarily, we wouldn’t advise sticking sharp objects into anyone’s precious skull, but holding pins is exactly what this lady cat’s dome is made for. (Even so, it can’t be a pleasant experience, so a grateful pat post-jab wouldn’t go astray.) Hand-built, painted, glazed and fired by Milwaukee lass Erin Paisley, it’s a labour of love that will set you back about $55, and keep your sewing accoutrements nice and neat. enpaisley.etsy.com

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We can’t say for sure whether plonking one of these Fanny & Alexander wooden cameras in your little one’s hands will give them a soft spot for photography, but hey, it’s worth a shot. Even if the nifty leather grip and zoom lens don’t inspire them to utter ‘exposure’ as their very first word, they still make a pretty cute toy for lugging around. Each piece is made in Argentina, but can be found on Aussie shores for $70 at plyroom.com.au


frank bits

skirting the issue Hands up if you quite fancy this delectable Protea skirt from New South Wales maker Doops Designs. Now, keep your hands somewhat airborne, transfer them to your closest keyboard and type in frankie.com.au/win – we have one of the cotton lovelies (rrp $130) up for grabs. (Just don’t forget to tell us your size.) doopsdesigns.com

getting to know… ema dunstan from hi-tec emotions Favourite spot to grab a bite in Melbourne? Pho Hung on High Street, Preston. They do the best vegetarian noodle soup I’ve had outside of Vietnam. Ever had an onstage disaster? I’ve experienced very high levels of anxiety that worked against me. Once it caused me to have a brain-fail and stop playing. Everyone watching could see I was having a hard time and showed me a great deal of support and encouragement, which was heartwarming. Debbie Harry or Kate Bush? Both! Debbie Harry was a huge inspiration to me when I was younger, musically and fashion-wise. In recent years, Kate Bush has been one of my favourite artists to listen to – she’s an otherworldly genius, extremely unique and expressive. What are your best non-musical skills? I like making things by hand. I once made a Marie Antoinette costume for a Halloween party, and for our drummer Mackenzie’s birthday last year, I hand-painted a one-off Hi-Tec Emotions denim jacket. Have you been approached by any super-intense fans? One of our bass player Jess’s colleagues recently claimed number-one fan status – she bought 10 badges and our album at a show we played! Where would we find you first thing on a Monday morning? In the kitchen, feeding my cat and making myself a coffee.

nice mugs Hello there, fellas. Why do you look so glum? Is it because we’re preparing to slop a piping hot brew into your noggin and down it, sip by sip? If so, know we’ll be doing it with all our love. Then again, we could plant some seeds in your cranium and grow them into a leafy ’do. It’s really up to you. Love, the frankie crew. uno-ichi.com

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made of sundays Need to show some love to the inanimate vertical surfaces in your life? Made of Sundays’ line of removable wall decals is made in Helsinki, Finland, with joy-bringing in mind, and it’s handy for sprucing up your abode with no paint, glue or nails required. A set of 174 self-adhesive shapes is available for around $44, and a bit friggin’ ace, too. madeofsundays.com


rant

Few people just waltz on in to any old restaurant on a whim anymore. We carefully plan and curate our lives, read reviews and search menus online, and that requires a whole lot of work that can take a really, really long time. Do we want to go somewhere that has the best wine and decent food; great food and OK beer; OK food but no queue; a long queue but the best of everything? Oh, the pressure.

blinded by choices PLEASE, DON’T ASK CARO COOPER TO MAKE A DECISION.

I can blame modernity and my obsession with eating for my indecisiveness, but honestly, I’ve never been good at making choices. Modernity has just exacerbated the problem. In the ’80s, the Magic Eight Ball was our internet – it had all the answers. While my friends shook the all-knowing ball once and ran off, their decision firm in their grey matter, I kept shaking. I needed more data, more analysis. I didn’t want to risk it all on just one jiggle – although, to be fair, ‘it all’ was whether to buy a Milko or a Toffee Apple. I knew I wanted a Toffee Apple, but there was an option.

I couldn’t decide where to start this story, which is no great surprise because I can rarely decide on anything. When faced with a decision – any decision – I leap into research mode, because too much research is never enough. This generally leaves me paralysed by the bounty of options, confused by all the data, and disappointed that even a simple decision – like, what to eat for dinner – has me writing up lists of pros and cons. I often wish for a time when the choices were gruel or death. That’s an easy one.

This compulsion to consider all available options may explain my inability to remain in a relationship. (I only just realised that while writing this. Damn.) Unfortunately, my indecisiveness is genetic, just like my offensively long second toe. My dad was so indecisive when it came to ordering at restaurants that he would insist everyone order before him, then proceed to change his chosen meal three times as the waiter stood by, politely wearing holes in his notepad with the constant crossing out of Dad’s choices. It’s also the reason I pack my lunch each day. People think I’m healthy and budget savvy. In truth, I’m just terrified of having to choose what to eat in the middle of a busy work day. I’m not scared of robbers or dark alleys, but put me in a food court at lunchtime and I’m a quivering mess.

Now we’re in the age of endless alternatives; endless freedoms that in turn shackle and bind us, resulting in option paralysis. Peak decision anxiety comes when it’s time to eat out. I love food. Deeply. All food, from overpriced café toast to a block of Cadbury chocolate. But I don’t eat out (or get out) a lot, so I take my dinner dates seriously. There’s nothing worse than ending up somewhere substandard – especially in this time of Instagram feeds filled with ridiculous food shot from above as though a low-flying drone dropped in to see what was for tea. Sure, you could just go to the same place every week, safe in the knowledge that it’s good, but I live on the edge. I know I’m not alone because the internet is filled with indecisive, hungry souls wandering its virtual corridors and asking, “What should I…?” “Where should I…?” “How should I…?”

There’s only one thing that’s going to end my food-related option paralysis (besides just growing up, that is): I am going to create the Modern Woman’s Magic Ate Ball. One shake is all you’re allowed and you are bound, by some weird, yet-to-be-inventedby-me forcefield, to eat exactly what or where the ball predicts. Trademark pending, but I’m now taking orders.

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Discover Allpress We spent over two years waiting for the perfect spot in Tokyo to unveil itself and when we peered into this building – abandoned, with sunlight streaming in between the slats – we instantly knew that it was the one. It is as much a space to roast delicious coffee for our cafe customers throughout Japan, as it is a welcoming spot for our community to gather, connect and converse.

We look forward to welcoming you to our Tokyo Roastery 3-7-2 Hirano Koto-ku, Tokyo, 135-0023, Japan


my project Photo Bri Hammond

yurt so good

Her landlord, meanwhile, thought the whole thing was pretty funny, but quickly saw the upside after they proposed using their own cash to fix up the property’s outdoor dunny for yurt visitors.

DAWN TAN TEACHES ART FROM A GIANT TENT IN HER MELBOURNE BACKYARD.

Before the crate arrived from America, Dawn and Darren built a wooden decking base for the yurt – and almost murdered each other in the process. “I like to get things done three weeks before they’re due, whereas my husband is a last-minute guy. So it was major hell,” Dawn admits. Putting up the yurt itself only took a day, though, thanks to five friends who popped over to help. “It was like mega IKEA. We’re all very systematic, step-by-step people, so I think that helped,” she says. “Afterwards, the seven of us laid down in the middle and stared up at the ceiling. It was almost evening, so you could see the moon coming out. It looked amazing.”

Words Koren Helbig

Dawn now uses her ‘Little Art Yurt’ as both her own private art studio and, since June, a workshop space for kids’ art classes. “It’s a scary new idea for a lot of parents because they have no idea what a yurt is,” Dawn says. “When they come into the backyard, they just laugh. It does look quite funny. It’s a process of showing parents that I’m not some weirdo with my backyard yurt.” It helps that it’s incredibly inviting inside, with plenty of plants, children’s books, an apron rack built by Darren’s dad and loads of colour-coordinated art supplies. “I’ve always been that way – I even colour coordinate things in my own house,” Dawn says. “I find that grouping things in cool colours and warm colours actually helps the children learn about colour, too.”

To successfully build a backyard yurt, you will need: one 650-kilo crate of flat-packed materials imported from America; one obliging landlord; six strong friends who enjoy following excruciatingly detailed instruction manuals; and approximately seven hours. A yurt, by the way, is a huge circular tent traditionally used by nomads in places like Mongolia – and, more recently, at least one artist in Australia. “It’s like a spacecraft in our backyard,” says Singapore-born illustrator Dawn Tan, who built a giant yurt out the back of her Melbourne rental in April. Dawn’s husband Darren Lee initially came up with the idea, after realising Dawn was eyeing off their living room as a possible spot to claim as her studio. “He randomly suggested a teepee or a yurt and I thought he was joking,” Dawn recalls. “But the more we thought about it, the more we realised it would work. It’s a portable idea – whenever we move, we can just pack it down and bring it along.”

While most days Dawn’s alone inside the giant tent, creating whimsical illustrations or pretty natural soaps, she loves regularly opening the place up to share her skills with kids. Teaching the joy of making art just for fun serves as a handy reminder for Dawn’s own practice, too. “The other day a child told me that it’s OK if your finished thing doesn’t look nice, as long as you’re having fun and learning. Children have this ‘never mind’ mentality that’s really enjoyable,” she says. “I joke with my husband that if we can never afford to buy a house, never mind, we’ll just buy a plot of land, get a few more yurts in and run a yurt learning community for kids. That would be fun.”

The couple also knew yurts were super-comfy, having stayed in one during a trip to the States last year. So, after loads of research, they ordered their yurt flat-packed from a specialist American company. Importing it was a bit expensive and customs was a nightmare, but that’s to be expected, Dawn says. “It’s essentially moving a house from America to Australia.”

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Made at Shillington Shillington’s innovative approach to design education means students can achieve amazing results in a seriously short amount of time. In 3 months full-time or 9 months part-time you’ll graduate with a polished portfolio of commercial work, ready to land your dream job. Make your creative career with Shillington. shillingtoneducation.com

shillington_

Student work by Navada Currie

New York • London • Manchester Sydney • Melbourne • Brisbane


learn something new

where did that thingy come from?

bread. But then English engineer Edward Nairne came along in 1770 and invented what would become a fundamental piece of stationery: the eraser. Discovering that gum elastic could remove pencil markings, he began selling it in cubes known as ‘rubbers’ (for obvious reasons). Unfortunately, the material was quick to crumble and perish, and also had a pong that was a little on the nose. In 1839, inventor Charles Goodyear stepped in with a method of curing known as ‘vulcanisation’ – that made the rubber far more durable, and enabled it to become a household item.

SOPHIE KALAGAS LOOKS INTO SOME ORIGIN STORIES YOU NEVER ASKED FOR.

COAT HANGER There’s a lesson in the coat hanger’s origin story: workplace annoyance can be channelled into nifty ideas. Take Albert J. Parkhouse, for instance. In 1903, his co-workers at Michigan’s Timberlake Wire and Novelty Company began to moan about a lack of coat hooks available in their building. Fed up with the whinging, Albert took matters into his own hands, bending a piece of stray wire into two ovals, with the ends twisted together to form a hook. This coat hanger prototype resembled a human’s shoulders, keeping jackets smooth and allowing more than one garment to hang from a single peg. Sadly, Albert received little compensation for his invention – instead, his employer patented the design, and is thought to have since made a small fortune.

TEABAG It was a simple misunderstanding that led to the teabag you may well be dunking in a cuppa right now. In 1908, Thomas Sullivan, a New York tea merchant, began sending samples to his customers in small silky sacks. Rather than emptying out the leaves, some assumed the pouches were intended for easy steeping – an alternative to the metal infusers that were already in use – and whacked the whole thing into a pot. When feedback that the silk was too fine to let water in reached Thomas, a light bulb went off in his business-savvy mind. He designed purpose-made teabags with a looser, more brew-friendly gauze, complete with a handy string that hung over the brim of the cup. T-SHIRT A century ago, wearing a t-shirt in public would have made womenfolk swoon and gentlemen blush. The short-sleeved slip-on top was solely an undergarment, worn by manual workers who required a simple, button-free covering for hot environments. (In fact, some countries had laws in place to prevent people from wearing tees in public.) Decades later, the t-shirt – so-named for its shape, which resembled a capital ‘T’ – was adopted by the US Navy as part of its standard issue get-up. It appealed for its simplicity and affordability, as many recruits were lacking in sewing and laundry skills. Over time, veterans started sporting their uniforms around town, and the indecency of a visible t-shirt began to wear off. Young boys wore the easy-to-clean clothing while playing outside, and soon enough they were accepted as general-purpose garments.

POST-IT NOTES No, Romy and Michele didn’t invent Post-it notes, but there’s truth in the fact it was a dual effort. In 1968, Spencer Silver, a researcher at 3M, happened on a light adhesive that could stick to a surface and be removed without leaving gunk behind. (He was actually working towards a super-strong glue for building planes at the time, so all in all it was a bit of a fail.) After five years of searching for a use for the gum, Spencer was just about ready to give it the flick. Enter Art Fry, another 3M scientist. A member of his local church choir, he was tired of page markers slipping out of his hymnbook. Recalling Spencer’s gentle glue, he realised its purpose: lining ‘Press ‘n’ Peel’ – later Post-it – tabs that could be stuck on any surface. (The reason for their iconic colour? The lab next door had an abundance of yellow scrap paper.)

ERASER Early writers used all manner of implements to correct their mistakes, including hunks of wax, pumice stones and even soft

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www.lovethatprint.com.au


look what i made

splice and dice LOS ANGELES ARTIST DEBRA BROZ TRANSFORMS CERAMIC FIGURINES INTO STRANGE NEW SPECIES. Hello, who are you and what do you do? I’m Debra Broz (pronounced like ‘rose’ with a ‘B’) – an artist, ceramics restorer, fixer, organiser and problem-solver. Describe your art, please. I reconstruct ceramic animal figurines, cutting them apart and combining them with others, or sometimes sculpting new parts from scratch. I decide which alterations I’m going to make based on formal factors like scale and form, and content-based factors like science and environmental news, folklore and mythological stories. How did you start? My dad liked to draw, so he encouraged me a lot. My mum went out of her way to take me to after-school art classes, because we were in a rural area and didn’t have a lot of art in school. Those classes were my first exposure to clay, found-object sculpture and abstraction. Where do you find all the figurines? Mostly at secondhand stores, but a few have come from estate sales, and others have been given to me. I don’t shop online. Part of the work is that it’s a rescue mission... the thrift store is one step from landfill. It’s a long process of the right figurines finding each other. I often have one for a couple of years before I find another that really works with it. How do you make your creations look so seamless? After college, I had the opportunity to work with a ceramics restorer. When I learnt the restoration techniques, I realised I could do more than repair things – I could remake them. With restoration work, you want your hand to be invisible. It’s the same concept with my sculptures. I want the figurines to look as if they were born that way. Do you wish these creatures really existed? I always imagine stories for them as if they were alive – it would be hilarious to see an eight-legged dog or a dog with bird wings. Something I’ve found really interesting in making this work is people’s fascination with, and simultaneous aversion to, what they consider to be ‘freaks’. If you take time to go through the logic of why someone is disturbed, you find that they’re afraid of things that are different, even if they could be perfectly viable and harmless. What do you like about taking something cute and making it a bit twisted? I like to challenge the idea of what’s acceptable or ‘normal’. I like the surprise and fascination – watching people try to understand why that thing looks that way, and not the way they expect it to be. I like being able to pull people out of the banality of their own expectations. What’s one thing we should know about you? I’m always looking. Looking for things, ideas, inconsistencies and weirdness. A funny note someone dropped; an embroidery of a disturbed-looking cat; a mismatched piece of tile on the floor of a public restroom; a small, bright green feather from the parrots that live in my tree. These things remind me that we’re all here, doing stuff, leaving evidence of our individual lives for others to find, whether we mean to or not. Where can we see more of your stuff? debrabroz.com or on Instagram at @zebrazorb.

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DANISH DESIGN. NATURAL MATERIALS. UNISEX. REAR 169 Fitzroy St, Fitzroy VIC 3065 03 9415 6668 duckfeet.com.au @duckfeetaustralia


creatives wıth kids three artistic parenting duos discuss balancing inspiration with sleepless nights. INTERVIEWS SOPHIE KALAGAS PHOTOGRAPHS BRI HAMMOND

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creative people

e P A R E N T S T O M U R R AY , 4 , AND RUDI, 2

What do you do for a living? Maryanne: I’m a teacher and weaver. Aaron: I’m the lead designer for Car Next Door, a peer-to-peer car-sharing service. Talk us through your transition into parenthood, please. M: We were some of the first parents in our group of mates, so we were on the front lines. I think I was most surprised by the relentlessness of parenting. We would wake up exhausted (emotionally, physically and spiritually), but children wake up every morning with renewed vigour and energy. A: I don’t think anything was a shock, as there was a nine-month lead-up to being parents, but there was still a shift in our lives and then we had a new little person living with us. How do you find time each day to focus on your work and being a good parent? M: You just get good at being really efficient. I don’t have time for exercise classes, so I make sure we walk or ride our bikes everywhere. I include the boys in the cooking and cleaning up, so we get to hang out and get jobs done together. We juggle some childcare and babysitter time so I can work in the studio without any interruptions, and most of my teaching is on the weekends when Aaron has the boys. It’s a delicate balancing act, but we’re pretty good at checking in to make sure we’re all happy. A: I have a desk space I go to out of the house to do work. I like the fact I can leave work there, and not have to bring it home with me. One of the hardest things is not letting your work life spill over and impact the time you spend with your kids. They can tell when you’re stressed or distracted. Has becoming a parent inspired you creatively? A: I spend my day designing software interfaces, and I’m always questioning whether what I’m building is going to be understood by someone experiencing it for the first time. Watching the boys learn to use something new – whether it’s the TV remote or Lego – is amazing, and a great little insight into how they solve problems. How does managing your own business work in your favour when it comes to having a family? A: Maryanne and I both have flexibility in where we work, which means we can more

easily work around things that come up regarding the kids. Whether it’s daycare drop-offs or joining the boys on a class excursion, there’s a level of involvement that wouldn’t be possible if we were both in traditional roles. M: I guess we run the family the same way as a business – we share calendar invites to keep us up-to-date; have mini ‘meetings’ at breakfast to check in with tasks that need to be done; have running lists for groceries, etc. Somehow everything gets done! Was there ever a point when you thought: this is too hard? M: It was a big shock to move from the completely egocentric, hedonistic lifestyles of our 20s to waking up every day with monsters in our home. But all of a sudden they look at you in a certain way, make a joke or say something new, and your heart melts. Do you ever get to switch off? M: We’ve been going to No Lights No Lycra. It’s such a great way to press the reset button; being totally alone with a bunch of people, dancing your heart out and getting sweaty. A: Walking headphone-free with just my thoughts and the sounds of the city is a good way to switch off. As is a few hours playing Zelda. Has your creativity rubbed off on your parenting style? M: I do a lot of creative stuff with the boys – painting, construction, building and making. They’re always grabbing stuff out of the recycle bin to make a robot! What have you learnt about balancing parenting with creative work? M: Be inspired by the everyday. I don’t have time to spend looking at the ocean or wandering silently through the woods (unless it’s with my kids screaming in the background!). I need to make art about what is in my life. A: You can’t do everything. Early on in my career I’d say ‘yes’ to most work opportunities that came along. Time becomes a much more precious resource as a parent, and I want to make sure the things I’m working on are exactly what I want to be working on. Have you made any mistakes, do you think? M: Parenting is too hard to have regrets. We beat ourselves up about what we should have or could have done, but in the end we have to make the best choices for us in the moment.

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creative people

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a

g e a

PA R E N T S T O S I D N E Y, 9 M O N T H S

What do you do for a living? Mia: I’m a freelance photographer. Stephanie: I’m an illustrator and printmaker; I work for a furniture maker called Made By Morgen; and I play in some bands. Talk us through your transition into parenthood, please. M: Obviously, our pregnancy came as no surprise and had required a bit of thought, so when Sid came into the world, I was so ready for the change she would bring. My whole world imploded, exploded, collapsed and restarted. My relationship to time, family and my identity shifted, and I’m still navigating this new and wonderful world of being a mother. S: I think the sleeplessness is the wildcard element – you can lose your usual resistance to things that are easy to handle after sleep. But I very much enjoy watching rage together at 4am. I didn’t get a lot done for the first while after Sid was born, because I had to learn about keeping a child alive! I’m also low-key ripped in the forearm region from picking Sid up all the time. That’s new for me. How do you give each other space to clear your brain and be creative? S: The model of working at home wasn’t really panning out; we were both too tuned in to what was going on with Sid. So we did get a studio space (we share it with another new mum in a similar situation), and Mia and I swap time in it. That’s led to a few more things getting done. M: At this stage my brain doesn’t feel clear at all. Even a small portrait shoot takes a bucketload of energy. I’m riding this new-baby tidal wave and patiently waiting to see what’s on the other side. What happens when one of you has a big project on the go? M: We have a synced up Google calendar that is our bible. We really have to stick to our schedule and allow a lot of lead time for any large projects. We’re in a great position where we can support and help each other out when needed. Steph and Sid have often come on set with me if I’m shooting, and I get to take Sid to Steph’s gigs, as the bands have been playing more family-friendly times and venues recently! Has your creativity rubbed off on your parenting style? S: Sid and I come up with some pretty good songs

together, and she writes good lyrics. Her main tune, “Ga Ga Ba Ba”, is a banger. How do you find time to focus on your work and being a good parent? M: Early on I tried to sneak in moments at the computer to respond to emails or work on some projects, but I found it way too hard and distracting, trying to juggle food-mashing, life admin and sleep. I have two days a week in the studio when Steph has Sid at home, and they pop in for feeds. I treat every hour there like gold and power through as much as I can, but on my days with Sid, I give in completely to being a mum. I love how my social calendar is now jammed with rhyme times, playdates, swimming classes and trips to baby-friendly places – it’s a whole new world and I’m loving discovering it. S: We share everything and have become better at prioritising what we need and want to do. That’s made sure that our respective hangs with Sid are quality ones. I actually really enjoy baby activities. Chopped up food, Peppa Pig and playing with blocks is pretty much a dream arvo for me. Did you get any advice from people around you that has helped along the way? M: Too much advice! I think it’s all gotten a little out of hand. We listen to Sid and make sure what we do is right for our family, and ultimately what’s right for her. Have you made any mistakes, do you think? S: The jury is still out – I’ll have to ask Sid in 20 years. I’ve begun the therapy fund. M: Parenting is a process of learning, and often that’s via mistakes. I’ve had mastitis three times, and I stupidly decided to go to a meeting with a potential new client when I had it the third time. Steph drove me there, while I lay on the back seat having weird fever dreams. The sweating and infection worsened, and during the interview I repeated the same story three times – I only knew because the client gently mentioned she’d heard it already. I went straight to the doctor afterwards. Do you think your life would be easier if one of you had a more typical nine-to-five job? M: God no! Two mums with flexible work schedules – what dreams are made of.

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creative people

an PA R E N T S T O W I N I F R E D , 3 , AND JERONIMO, 10 MONTHS

What do you do for a living? Jeremy: I’m the founder and director of The Jacky Winter Group and our associated gallery, Lamington Drive. I also host the Melbourne chapter of Creative Mornings. Lorelei: I’m a writer, and I also manage our guesthouse, Jacky Winter Gardens, and co-curate the Women of Letters shows in Melbourne. Talk us through your transition into parenthood, please. J: Not only do you have this whole other human to look after and provide for, you have a new responsibility to your partner, as well. It’s a shift into much more physical demands, rather than a one-on-one relationship rooted in emotions. As your children grow, you’re constantly adapting. That was a shock for someone like me, who thrives on routines. L: I now look back wistfully on being a first-time parent. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t as hard as the second time ’round! I felt so physically exhausted after Jeronimo’s birth, then we had some milk supply issues that took a couple of months to get on top of, and I feel like I’ve been running to catch up ever since. How do you find time to focus on your work and being a good parent? L: When we only had one child, daycare was my saviour. Because Jeronimo is still pretty young, everything is still changing month to month. So, one month I’ll be able to write an entire essay; the next I can’t do anything because he’s teething and Winifred has decided to stop sleeping, too, and it’s enough just to keep everyone fed and clothed and my own head above water. I’m lucky my writing has been mainly self-motivated lately – if I had people waiting on me, I don’t think I’d have been able to do it. J: I feel that focusing on my work is being a good parent in some ways, as my work is the vehicle that affords our family so many opportunities and experiences that I may not have had growing up. Has being a parent made you more or less efficient? L: More efficient, for sure. You have to get things done in the time allotted, or you just don’t get them done. J: There’s also this freewheeling sense of chaos where you don’t know what will go wrong when, or how much sleep you might get, so I’ve started focusing less on efficacy and more on flexibility. It’s not about getting more done in less time, but being

OK with not getting as much done, or working to timelines I might not actually have ultimate control over. Was there ever a point when you thought: this is too hard? L: Pretty much every hour! I recently realised I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression since Jeronimo arrived. I just thought this was how it felt to have two kids, but the penny finally dropped, and putting a label on it has helped a lot, because now we can tackle it properly. Has becoming a parent inspired you creatively? L: After Winifred was born, I wrote essays on the birth, choosing her surname, a subsequent miscarriage, and then an entire book about choosing babies’ surnames more generally. So yes: everything I write, from Facebook posts to unfinished TV series pilots, is influenced by being a parent! J: It has inspired me on a more interpersonal level, in terms of dealing with conflict and raw emotions and increasing my own sense of empathy. There’s a fine line between being a good parent and a good business leader, and a finer line sometimes between a crying toddler and a demanding client! What have you learnt about balancing parenting with creative work? L: You have to accept that things don’t always work out the way you want them to. Meanwhile, it feels like everyone else is getting the opportunities that would have been yours if only you didn’t have kids. I’ve learnt to be patient, and choose the projects that 1) have the most potential to earn a living; and 2) are able to be worked on in the strict timeframe I have for work. J: It really is a balancing act. You’re on a tightrope and consistently getting feedback when you veer off course or have too much weight in one area, making small corrections as you go. How does managing your own creative business work in your favour when it comes to having a family? L: I can always be around for them because I work from home, and can set my own hours most of the time. I’m also proud that our kids get to see us working hard on projects we care deeply about. For you, what’s been the most rewarding thing about having children? J: All the clichés are true: the children are the reward. That, and being able to use pram parking spots at the shopping centre.

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we don’t mean to alarm you, but it’s almost 2018. and frankie’s diary and calendar are now on sale!


shop online at frankie.com.au/2018 or find your local stockist at frankie.com.au/find (we always sell out, so best get in quick!)


road test

culture shock SINEAD STUBBINS AND SAM PRENDERGAST KNOCK BACK SOME CREAMY YOGHURT SNACKS. Illustrations Dawn Tan

WOOLWORTHS THICK & CREAMY APPLE PIE INSPIRED YOGHURT

DAIRY FARMERS THICK & CREAMY LEMON CREAM YOGHURT

Apparently we’re all jerks now who think we’re too good for home brand products, so Woolworths had to rebrand its yoghurt in very chic packaging (green with cow print) to trick people into thinking they’re eating a more prestigious product. What has Australia come to, I ask you? It’s described as having “fruit swirls”, which is a delicate way of saying ‘globs of cinnamon-flavoured apple sporadically dumped throughout vanilla yoghurt’. I was suspicious of this product initially, because usually when something is advertised as being ‘inspired by’ a better thing, it doesn’t resemble the better thing in any respect. Then all you can think about is how much better the original thing is, that this lesser thing is supposedly inspired by. Remember the Spider-Man musical? Exactly. But this yoghurt is delicious. The sweet curds! The tang of fruit! A true triumph of lactose. SS

The best thing about this yoghurt is the peel-back foil lid. There’s something very wholesome about the combination of dairy products and thick aluminium packaging. The worst thing about this yoghurt is that it tastes like someone melted a bag of lollipops, then whipped in a bit of thickened cream. I had to open two different yoghurt pots to make sure the first one wasn’t a freak mistake. But nope, they really were shooting for straight-up ‘sickly sweet’. On the plus side, Dairy Farmers definitely delivers on the citrus. It genuinely tastes like someone poured a cup of lemon juice directly into the pot. Why? Who can say. But if you dig the combination of lemon, chemical sweeteners, sour cream and ‘thickener’ (there’s a lot of thickener), then you might not hate it. SP

YOPLAIT YOGHURT WITH REAL VANILLA

FARMERS UNION GREEK STYLE YOGHURT

Yoplait always gives me primary school flashbacks. It’s far too sweet by anyone’s standards, but it’s still familiar and comforting – the type of thing your mum serves when you’re home sick with a cold. This particular version features little black dots that are supposed to signal the presence of genuine vanilla bean seeds. Meanwhile, when I saw the black dots, all I could think was, “ARGH, MOULD,” so good luck feeding this to kids. Aesthetics aside, Yoplait’s really managed to nail things flavour-wise. If you close your eyes and forget that you’re basically eating teaspoon after teaspoon of glucose syrup, this yoghurt does a convincing job of posing as a subtle, vanillaflavoured health food. Plus, it has the texture of preservativepacked silk. An all-round inoffensive option, especially if you’ve just had your wisdom teeth removed. SP

Farmers Union gets 10 bonus points for not being full of gelatine, thickeners and ‘flavour’. Thank god for a yoghurt that doesn’t bounce back like Aeroplane Jelly. On the other hand, if you’re looking for an indulgent afternoon snack, look again. Farmers Union laughs in the face of the increasingly blurry sweet/savoury line and just shoots right for the savoury. If you made this stuff solid, it would basically be cheese. To be fair, this yoghurt doesn’t make any claims to be a dessert food, so the joke’s on you if you’re planning on eating it instead of ice-cream. This is a yoghurt for curries, dips and fancy panna cottas. Plus, it comes in an enormous plastic carton decorated with an Australian company’s interpretation of Greek iconography, so, you know – culture and stuff. SP

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road test

JALNA ARABICA BEAN CAFÉ LATTE CREAMY YOGHURT When I opened this yoghurt there was a suspicious looking fluid floating on top. Once I got over that visual setback, I consumed it with gusto. While I assumed I’d enjoy it most out of the bunch (I saved it until last, set up in front of Seinfeld) I actually found it deeply confusing. The taste of natural yoghurt – that sour, ‘good for you’ taste – is so strong you can barely taste the coffee flavour. Except for the aftertaste, which could only be described as ‘old iced coffee that has been sitting out for a while’. I was so sure I’d love this yoghurt. Before eating it, I even made a joke to the effect of, “This would make getting over a yeast infection fun!” I can think of nothing more disappointing than simultaneously having a yeast infection and eating staletasting coffee cultures. SS

CHOBANI STRAWBERRY YOGHURT WITH STEEL CUT OATS

COYO PLUM & GUAVA COCONUT YOGHURT ALTERNATIVE

Why do people like eating yoghurt in tube form? I have trouble understanding this. Does it make you feel like an astronaut? Are you seriously too busy – you, the one reading this – to exert the time and effort it requires to lift a spoon to your mouth? This squirt yoghurt has liquefied oats in it. It really made me think of good bacteria. Like, with every mouthful, little good bacteria soldiers were marching through my intestines and battling every individual bad bacteria with tiny bacteria spears. Courageously, they would beat the bad bacteria back, reclaiming every inch of my fleshy pink innards, until every nutritious sin I’d ever committed was vanquished in the face of the imperialist good bacteria. This is the kind of yoghurt that makes me think I’m doing something positive in my life. I won’t eat it again. SS

BLARGH. No. I’m not averse to vegan yoghurt (though I’d prefer we refer to it simply as ‘yoghurt’), but this stuff takes coconut about a billion steps too far. COYO claims to contain flavours of plum and guava, but all I could taste or smell was sour coconut cream. The fruit puree is visible, jammy, and coloured in with purple carrot juice, which frankly just makes the whole situation even worse. This is the ‘yoghurt’ of broken promises, and I’m pretty sure it was designed entirely for Instagram. If you love coconut, matcha bowls and food photography (or, alternatively, if dairy makes your bowels perform clumsy cartwheels) this is probably for you, otherwise, keep a safe distance and shoot for one of the very reliable soy-ghurts that have kept vegans and dairy-free folks happy since the ’80s. SP

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PAULS FARMHOUSE GOLD VANILLA POT SET YOGHURT Wow, Pauls sure has changed since I was a kid! Instead of being sold in regular plastic containers, the yoghurt is now sold in a plastic container that’s made to look like a jar. An intriguing choice, given I’ve never thought, “Hmm, I would purchase this yoghurt if only it looked more homemade.” I don’t want my yoghurt to look homemade! I want it to look like it was produced in the most clinical, sanitised environment possible, potentially by robots. I don’t even like to think of cows when I’m eating yoghurt. I try to keep my mind clear. This was extremely thick, kind of like a cross between jelly and custard. It might turn some people off, but I’m getting a root canal soon and will keep this yoghurt in mind when I can’t eat solids and have forgotten the point of living. SS


rant Photo Lukasz Wierzbowski

Miss Surly Sublet left and my housemate returned, I moved out and in with my girlfriend. Normality was restored. Until I started noticing shows I hadn’t watched popping up in my Stan viewing history.

hostile territory DANIEL MOORE DABBLES IN THE ART OF PASSIVE AGGRESSION.

At first it was just one or two, and then it was more and more, and it became fairly clear what was happening. I knew I should just change the password and move on, but then I had a thought: what would Adam do? I’m not proud of what happened next. With meticulous preparation, I hatched a plan. First, I changed the personalised welcome message in the top-right corner from “Hello, Daniel” to “Hello, Thief”. Next, I put a parental lock on any show rated PG and above – even some episodes of Barney & Friends required a login. But I wanted more. I wanted to mess with this person. So I decided I would remove the parental lock at certain points during the day, then sporadically implement it again. I wanted to confuse them, frustrate them, and teach them a (very petty) lesson.

I once lived with a housemate who deserved a PhD in passive aggression. Let’s call this person ‘Adam’, because that was his name. Adam was a master in the fine art of creative shit-slinging. Post-it notes and pettiness were child’s play to him – instead, his tactics were ice-cold and conniving. If you spent a second too long in the shower, you could expect your next rinse to be chilly. If you forgot to wash your dishes for a second night running, Adam wouldn’t just pop them to the side, he would take the offending tower of Tupperware and crockery and proudly pile it outside your bedroom door. Living with Adam felt like you were always one dirty dish away from being relentlessly pursued, like the lead in a psychological thriller.

Things got out of hand when I started activating the lock while they were midway through a show. The lowest point was when I turned it on with just five minutes to go of the final episode of Breaking Bad. It all kind of stopped after that. Months later, my girlfriend and I were out with her previous housemate, Nicole. She told us how her Stan account started doing all these weird things for no apparent reason. We joined the dots, and it turns out we’d been watching from my account at their house one night, and when Nicole moved, her TV had just defaulted to my subscription. I was embarrassed. I’d gone to great lengths to inconvenience someone I thought was doing me wrong, and all for nothing.

I never could understand why someone would go to such lengths to ‘teach someone a lesson’. I was adamant I’d never be like that; I’d never waste my time on fickle triviality. I couldn’t imagine stooping to such nonsensical pettiness. But then someone began stealing from my Stan account, and I knew they had to pay. Here’s what happened: I had a housemate who sublet her room to an acquaintance while she travelled around Europe. To say this person was a homebody would be an understatement. She spent so much time on the couch watching TV that she actually left a permanent bum print, and she saw no reason for talking. Ever. A morgue held more warmth than that communal lounge room.

Meanwhile, Miss Surly Sublet had simply moved on. She’d forgotten about me entirely. To her, I didn’t exist. But I was consumed. I was peevish and petty and fixated. As it turned out, I was the one learning elaborate lessons. Afterwards, I wondered if our subletter actually knew Adam. Because, well, that was some next level passive aggressive shit right there.

For three months we suspiciously circled each other like cats in an alley (an alley full of my furniture, TV and Stan). When

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my project Photo Heather Lighton

all in one

different day,” she says. “People came up to me and asked for a photo or wondered where I was going. I thought it was so interesting that I could chat to all these strangers just by wearing something different.”

ADELE VARCOE HAS WORN NOTHING BUT HOMEMADE ONESIES FOR SIX YEARS.

And then, a question popped into her head: what would happen if she did this for an entire year? Preparing to move to London for a year-long artistic residency, she decided to pack only onesies in her suitcase. “I felt really self-conscious at first,” Adele says. “I’d walk everywhere hunched over. But I started to get recognised. People began calling me ‘Jumpsuit Girl’.” Every day became something of a social adventure, so when she returned to Melbourne 12 months later, the onesies came with her.

Words Kate Stanton

“I’d become a bit attached to them – or the person I was when I was wearing them,” Adele explains. “Having interesting conversations with people on the street – I was a bit addicted to that.” The next step was to incorporate the experiment into her fashion thesis. She recorded her daily interactions in little cartoon vignettes: a man at a gallery who thought she was part of the art; the mean girls who called her a banana. Once she wore a black onesie with a lightning bolt pattern on a date. “It didn’t go so well,” she says. “He thought it was bizarre. But other guys at the bar loved it. They were like, ‘Can I touch it?’”

If you’ve ever worn a onesie, you’d know they’re pretty darn comfy. They’re warm, they’re stretchy, and something about the extra flexibility makes you want to bust a move. But, no matter how footloose and fancy-free they make you feel, you probably wouldn’t wear them all the time – not to the office, to a wedding, or on a blind date. That would require a certain level of bravery and commitment – something artist Adele Varcoe knows all about. After all, the Melbourne-based fashion lecturer has worn a skin-tight bodysuit almost every day for the past six years. “I’ve got 50 onesies right now,” she says. “But over the years, I’ve had about 200.” Rather than hunting them down in stores, Adele whips them up herself, sewing a colourful wardrobe of onesies for every occasion. When she received her doctorate, for instance, she wore a spectacular silver sequin jumpsuit under her cap and gown. There’s a shiny periwinkle onesie for weddings, and a red lace version she saves for romantic encounters. “That one’s sexier, a bit more feminine,” she says. Most are body-hugging jumpsuits in crazy prints, like pink camouflage, vertical stripes and purple swirls.

For Adele, the sartorial experiment has been a lesson on how much our clothing choices inform our individual personalities. She’s done things in a onesie she would never do otherwise – like performing the worm at parties, for instance. The bodysuits have also influenced much of Adele’s art: she recently returned from a trip to South Africa, where she made 600 outfits for people to wear at a onesie festival. In fact, the jumpsuits are so much a part of her identity these days that her friends and family miss them when she dabbles in two-piece duds.

But Adele’s penchant for onesies is more than just a quirky sense of style. As someone who studies and teaches fashion, she thinks a lot about how people relate to clothing. A few years back, when Adele unearthed a fluoro yellow polka-dotted bodysuit that she’d made at uni, she decided to wear it to work as an experiment. “I had such a

“At first it was like, ‘What’s she doing? Has she gone a bit mad?’ But people got to know the onesie and now they love it,” Adele says. She’ll “escape the onesie” one day, but not until she knows what to try next. “I’m open to any ideas.”

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NEW STALLHOLDERS COME AND JOIN US!

Are you an artist, crafter, flower and plant grower, boutique wine or beer producer, or artisan food maker?

Join us at the Esplanade Market, Melbourne’s only makers’ market by the sea, on every Sunday. We pride ourselves on being one of the original “Australian local makers’ markets” with a 47-year trading history. Bookings are casual or long-term. We’d love to see you. Apply online via our website stkildaesplanademarket.com.au. Email esplanademarket@portphillip.vic.gov.au for more info.


mind your business Photographs Candice Carlin

driving force of the press and keep it in motion. We liked the idea of that strength being behind our name and business.

i love my shop

Tell us about the space. DB: The building is very original, with a timber shopfront and beautiful pressed metal ceilings, exposed bricks and aged timber floors. You’ll find our stationery displayed on antique shop fittings and vintage office finds. We’ve created a warm, vintage vibe with a bit of an industrial edge. TB: The store was originally the town bakery. Towards the back we have an industrial-style glazed wall separating off the studio, but allowing people to observe the press in action.

SISTERS TAMMY BAIRD, DONNA BAIRD AND RACHEL JAMES PEDDLE STATIONERY OLD AND NEW IN TASMANIA’S SOUTH. Interview Téa van den Brenk

Are you stationery obsessives? TB: I have a little stash of unused journals that I love, mostly for the possibilities that blank pages give. And once you start using nice pens and pencils, there’s no going back. I also love ribbons, twines and decorative papers. Our family has no excuse for poorly wrapped gifts these days! RJ: I mostly like how organised and put-together being stocked up on stationery can make you feel.

Where is Flywheel? 42 High Street, New Norfolk, Tasmania. Describe the shop in a sentence. A boutique stationery and vintage store with a working letterpress studio.

Are there any stories behind the vintage items you sell? TB: Some of our wooden printing blocks have come from an old-timer in England who shares our love for the patina of the old ink-stained blocks. We have a large, double-sided pale oak plan chest that we found in Northern Wales. It’s great for storing all our papers.

What goes on there? Tammy Baird: We have a shopfront to showcase our letterpress products, alongside unique stationery sourced from around the world. We also have a studio where Rachel designs and prints letterpress stationery for the store, for businesses and for weddings, all on a press dating back to the 1920s.

What makes Flywheel unique? RJ: We’re often told by visitors that they’ve never been to such a different shop. I think it’s because of the great care that’s taken to style everything, combining the new with the old, as well as incorporating the letterpress printing. People also love to see exactly how the items they’re purchasing have been created.

How did the idea come about? Donna Baird: Tammy and I are antique dealers who have run another store, The Drill Hall Emporium, for more than two decades with our mother, Sue. Rachel, our youngest sister, would work on the weekend with us, and she fell in love with a tabletop printing press and old type we found on our travels. We were keen for another venture, so we combined our loves of antiques and beautiful stationery with letterpress printing to create Flywheel.

Working with family: yay or nay? DB: Yay for me. We’re very close, and we work really well together and have different strengths. We’re always coming up with new ideas and having fun. TB: Also, it’s easier to communicate about work at times that aren’t normally acceptable, e.g. at family dinners.

Where did the name come from? Rachel James: We chose the name for the big cast iron flywheels that run our platen presses. As well as being a particularly beautiful feature, they create the

Best contact details? flywheel.net.au

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liekeland.nl • frankie.com.au


29 September 2017 – 21 January 2018 An Australian exclusive honouring the career of multi-award winning Hollywood costume designer Edith Head. The significant collection showcases Edith’s works for Hollywood stars including Shirley Temple, Fred Astaire, Hedy Lamarr, Shirley MacLaine, Jane Russell, Audrey Hepburn and more. Tickets and packages: www.bendigoartgallery.com.au

Open 10am –5pm Monday – Sunday including public holidays 03 5434 6088 42 View Street Bendigo Victoria


style

down the garden path frolic among the foliage in these light spring layers. PHOTOGRAPHS JESSIE WEBB STYLING RACHEL BURKE MODEL RUBY MCGREGOR

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PREVIOUS PAGE: SISTER Studios Jume dress, rrp $230, sisterstudios.com.au. Emily Green x Otto & Spike Speckle socks, rrp $15, emily-green. myshopify.com. The Boat Hobe in rose, rrp $169, au.hobes.co. LEFT: Abrand A Drew oversized denim jacket in LA Blues, rrp $139.95, universalstore.com. Ivy Niu tent dress in Squiggles, rrp $200, ivyniu.com. Sunday Social Abstract gold hoops, rrp $39, sunday-social. squarespace.com.

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Kuwaii Stripe Petal tee, rrp $129, kuwaii.com.au. Kloke Wonder skirt with Perseverance print in Chalk Desert, rrp $259, kloke.com.au. Any Memes pineapple cap, rrp $34.99, universalstore.com. Obus Ubuntu short sock, rrp $10, obus. com.au. Radical Yes Dharma Lucky Seven Tassel slip-on, rrp $219, radicalyes.com.au.


rant

SISTER Studios Jume dress, rrp $230, sisterstudios.com.au. The Brim Label Jamie Check cap, around $117, thebrimlabel.com.


style

By Baby Beat ring in sterling silver, rrp $45, Star ring in silver, rrp $90, and Waif ring in silver, rrp $35, bybaby. com.au. Obus Florence shirt, rrp $169, Fredi pullover in blush/midnight/ greenery, rrp $199, and Raku sock, rrp $12, obus. com.au. MINKPINK Original Scando jean, rrp $89.95, minkpinkworld.com. Veja Holiday leather sneakers in extra white natural, rrp $215, veja-store.com.

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SISTER Studios Mary shirred red top, rrp $170, and Ariel pants in cornower, rrp $240, sisterstudios.com.au. Stephanie Spencer Tall Crown boater, rrp $270, stephaniespencermillinery.com. Bianca Mavrick Cleopatra earring in mint, rrp $239, biancamavrick.com. Oktoberdee Bangle Dangle leather purse in pink/bordo, rrp $99, oktoberdee.com.au. P.S.S. Beat platform in cream, rrp $379, postsole.com.

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learn something new

the dark side MIA TIMPANO INTRODUCES SOME OF HISTORY’S GOTHIC ICONS. Illustrations Cass Urquhart

ANNE RICE

ELVIRA

MARY SHELLEY

ROBERT SMITH

It’s hard to convey the impact of Interview With the Vampire to someone who didn’t come of age in the ’90s. The novel and its myriad sequels (collectively known as The Vampire Chronicles) were huge, thanks in no small part to the blockbuster filmic adaptation, starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and baby Kirsten Dunst. But Anne Rice – born Howard Allen, a name her mother chose because she felt it would give her “an unusual advantage in the world” – wrote the best-selling novel some 20 years prior while grieving the loss of her two-year-old daughter to leukaemia. (Anne had, in fact, prophesied the death; she’d had a dream in which her daughter was dying of a blood condition.) In addition to being a gothic literary legend, Anne has enjoyed hero status among queer readers who see her vampire characters as allegorical symbols of their own experience of forced social isolation. Worth noting: Anne distanced herself from the on-screen sequel to Interview, Queen of the Damned, claiming the producers (who shot the film here in Australia) had “mutilated” her story. The 2002 production, in which the vampire Lestat becomes the lead singer of a shit metal band, is, in fact, barely watchable.

Cassandra Peterson never thought she’d make an entire career out of being late-night horror movie host Elvira (the LA actress assumed she’d make a couple of hundred bucks out of it, while continuing to work as a serious thespian), yet here we are, 36 years later, and the character is still bringing in the moolah and the weirdarse fan mail. (Cassandra says she receives letters from all sorts – from prisoners to nuns to “people who dress as goats”, an elusive-yet-loyal market.) Elvira, according to Cassandra, is trailer trash – “a beer-drinking kind of gal” who enjoys ridiculing herself and the size of her tits – which, apparently, is the genius of the whole thing. “She combines sexuality and humour and the dark side,” Cassandra, now 65 and still stunning, explains. Few folks can boast about having so much merch churned out in their honour; Elvira has had her own comic book series (twice), computer games, pinball machines, action figures, trading cards and perfume. Should you wish to top up your Elvira supplies – or contribute to the ever-growing mass of Elvira landfill – you can jump on her official website right now to nab a sparkly coffin pin or a set of Elvira drinking glasses.

No, she didn’t wear black lipstick, or jiggle-dance around her apartment to “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”, but Mary Shelley paved the way for the goth tradition that would follow centuries after she penned her iconic tome Frankenstein in 1818. The novel, as you probably know, is about a scientist, Victor Frankenstein, who creates life, only to find the results freakish and horrifying. (His creature, who is physically grotesque with bad teeth and translucent skin, makes everyone run away; demands a female equivalent of himself with whom he intends to flee to South America; doesn’t get her; kills a guy; kills Victor’s fiancée; then kills himself.) Gloomy? Well, yes – but that’s the gothic vibe. And we can all thank Mary for shaping that (i.e. the darkness, the brooding, the general interest in the supernatural), as well as giving us all an inferiority complex – Mary published Frankenstein at 20. When she wasn’t scribbling stories underneath the trees at her homestead or “on the bleak sides of the woodless mountains” nearby, she was losing her virginity in a cemetery to a poet-philosopher by the name of Percy. In fact, they boned right near her mother’s grave. It doesn’t get much darker than that.

For some, wearing gothic duds means getting the shit kicked out of you. Just ask Robert Smith. The English singer-songwriterguitarist was set upon by four hooligans during his teen years and beaten – just for wearing a black velvet dress to school. Thankfully, the incident didn’t turn Bob into a full-time recluse, nor did it prompt him to dial back his aesthetic. For as long as he’s been playing with his genre-defining goth rock band, The Cure (from the age of 13!), he’s been known as much for his chart-topping tunes (“The Lovecats”; “Close to Me”; “Pictures of You”), as for his iconic look: smudged red lippy, white face powder, and a wardrobe befitting a moody pirate. If you called yourself a goth when The Cure came to prominence in the ’80s, then you probably mimicked Bob’s look, much to his chagrin – he’s described The Cure’s enduring association with the goth subculture as “pitiful”. Tired of being pigeonholed as a full-time sad sack, he tried to shake things up in 1986 by wearing a polo shirt. The departure from his usual style made MTV headlines, and ultimately didn’t stick; current-day Cure concertgoers will be relieved to see Robert in his trademark gothic regalia.

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learn something new

TIM BURTON

NICK CAVE

THEDA BARA

SIOUXSIE SIOUX S

Want to hit on Tim Burton? Then you’d do well to mention the UFOs you’ve (allegedly) spotted. That’s how model/ actress Lisa Marie managed to win the American director’s heart – at a Starbucks, no less. Yes, he dumped her four years later when he met Helena Bonham-Carter, but shit happens. Shit also repeatedly happened throughout Burton’s career making cult gothic films: Disney fired a 26-yearold Burton, then working in their animation division, for producing the short film Frankenweenie (they felt a film about a boy trying to revive his dead dog was too scary for kids); Burton’s first feature, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, was panned by critics upon its release in 1985 (but was acknowledged as a classic by those same critics years later); and Warner Bros.’ share prices dropped when Burton cast Michael Keaton as Batman, because fans didn’t ‘get it’ (why cast Keaton, who clearly wasn’t buff? Because he’s a filmmaking genius and knows what he’s doing! See: Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas). On the plus side, Burton’s films have grossed millions, and his black curly hair always has max volume.

The Cave Man is an impressive specimen. The dude has, to this day, at age 59, absolutely beautiful – nay, porcelain – skin; has released more records than anyone can list in one breath without passing out from exhaustion; written gothic novels (And the Ass Saw the Angel about a mute boy and The Death of Bunny Munroe about an alcoholic salesman); provided the soundtrack to a bunch of arthouse flicks; and, as a favour to ‘friend’ Russell Crowe, written the script for an unproduced sequel to Gladiator. In good old-fashioned Aussie tradition, the Nickster bailed on Australia in 1980, preferring to ply his musical trade in London and Berlin, where the goth subculture was par excellence (as was the heroin, presumably). His post-punk hits “Nick the Stripper” and “Release the Bats” with band The Birthday Party are gothic canon, but Nick has rejected gothic associations, claiming that such songs are, in fact, a “direct attack” on gothic rock – a subtle difference no one really cares about. This year, he received an AO for his “distinguished service” to the arts and “major contribution to Australian music culture and heritage”. Also: he boinked PJ Harvey in the ’90s.

These days, you’d struggle to find folks who’ve heard of Theda Bara – but between 1914 and 1926, the American actress made over 40 silent films, raked in the current-day equivalent of around $50,000 a week (yes – a week!), and became Hollywood’s first sex symbol thanks to her sultry gothic appearance. Her typecasting as a femme fatale earned her the nickname ‘The Vamp’, short for vampire, to which Theda responded, “I will continue playing vampires as long as people sin.” (In fact, she would continue playing vampires until the advent of ‘talkies’ – Theda never made a film with sound.) Press agents variously claimed she was the daughter of an Arab sheik and the lovechild of a French actress and Italian sculptor, raised within spitting distance of the Sphinx, but both tales were later outed as bullshit. Theda was from Cincinnati, and had never even been to Egypt. Sadly for film nerds everywhere, the majority of her films were destroyed due to a fire in Fox Studios’ vaults in 1937. Only six Theda Bara pictures remain, including her debut in The Stain as ‘gang moll’; A Fool There Was, in which she played ‘the Vampire’; and her turn in The Unchastened Woman as the title role.

Reckon your childhood was rough? Try being Siouxsie Sioux. The English lass had an alcoholic father, was sexually abused at the age of nine (a horror that her parents ignored), then suffered from ulcerative colitis (a condition resulting in inflammation and ulcers of the colon, and, in Siouxsie’s case, major surgery) during her mid-teens. Oh, and her father died around the same time. And people in her family didn’t like hugging, apparently. So how did she deal? Like many goths deal – by isolating and throwing herself headlong into music, specifically stuff dealing with, as she puts it, “damaged lives, damaged souls and damaged relationships”. After jumping on stage at a punk festival at 19 and improvising a set (she and her band, Siouxsie and the Banshees, knew no songs; they played a version of The Lord’s Prayer for 20 minutes), she went on to release goth-pop hits, including “Happy House” and “Spellbound”, and generally become a living legend. She’s also really, really good at eyeliner – her dramatic cat-eye look has become stock goth – and believes music journalists have misrepresented the gothic genre as “tacky harum-scarum horror”, when in fact it is, according to Ms Sioux, “actually very powerful and twisted”.

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writers’ piece

IT’S MY PARTY four writers wax lyrical on birthdays – the good, the bad and the itchy.

By Helen Razer Second only to the fact that they can produce human life, the weirdest thing about wombs of reproductive age is that many persons feel fairly entitled to ask their owners exactly what they plan to do with them. I have recently started wearing both a bun and a menopausal cardigan to diminish the chance that people will ask me about my womb plans. “Are you going to have a baby? Can I tempt you to have a baby? Why haven’t you had a baby?” Seriously. Shut it, and let’s make a deal. I won’t ask you about your dietary plans to improve the results of your next liver function test, and you don’t ask me if I regret my decision never to allow semen to activate a biological process. Of course, there are very few people who will agree to my liver-uterus contract, and as long as I look like I could still squeeze out an egg, the use or misuse of my womb will remain an occasional topic for conversation. Actually, probably after that. In fact, post-bun, I’ve been asked, “Why did you never have a baby?” I have offered many explanations, most of them legitimate. I couldn’t afford it. I was in a monogamous

relationship with a non-penis owner for half of my fertile life. I don’t like babies. None of these have sufficed. But, I have found a new and equally legitimate rejoinder. That is: I fear the trauma of birthday parties. Frankly, it’s an answer that many people can better understand. People get it. Even people who ask about wombs. I don’t suppose I was the only child whose birthday parties were a case of great anticipation, followed shortly thereafter by colossal depression. There are damaged others with whom I’ve spoken who recall the acts of dressing, waiting and longing for a birthday party, only to find themselves in tears at some point of pass-the-parcel. Birthday parties never, in my experience, live up to one nth of their promise, and they’re an abject lesson in the pain of life. Children can reasonably expect to have a birthday party. They can also reasonably expect to suffer Post Traumatic Cupcake Disorder. If, at six, I had known the song “Is That All There Is?”, I’d have demanded it be sung instead of that mocking lament, “Happy Birthday”. Now that I’m old enough to wear a bun, a cardigan and the shame of life, I can avoid birthday celebrations. I’ve found they don’t get any easier with the disappearance of donkey tails or the advancement of years. Even the casual-night-in-the-pub will

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be marked by disappointment. Someone won’t show up. Someone will give me a clearly re-gifted item. Someone, by which I mean me, will find cause to call her clinical psychologist for an emergency session the next day. Celebrating an occasion in which I did not actively participate or determine – i.e. the day of my birth – is, in my view, contradictory. I did not earn this, ergo, I am bound to be insulted by the reward. Perhaps birthday parties can only be enjoyed by ‘dog people’. Dog people are well-adjusted. They accept love and do not ask questions of its source. I happen to be among the cat people, and I feel affection must be earned, never freely delivered. As the genetic chances are high that I would produce a cat person – I would never select a dog person sperm donor, as this would be an affront to all cats – I would also produce a candidate for Post Traumatic Cupcake Disorder. A person destined to feel that birthday prizes are empty. A person to whom only disappointment is visible among the streamers and sparklers. I have thought, perhaps, that I ought to find a non-birthday ritual for myself and other cat people that may occur only when we have accrued a solid 12 months of creative achievement and/or good behaviour. But it’ll probably end in disappointment.


Photo Berta Pfirsich


writers’ piece

By Daniel Moore I went to my first proper party as a teenager. I was about 17, and in year 12. Going to parties back then was fun. It was risky, unpredictable, and you were free. You met people you’d never seen before. You talked about music, and maybe you’d dance. Eventually you’d pash, and when they left, you’d drink the rest of their Vodka Cruisers. I was fortunate in that my friends and the people we hung out with were, for the most part, pretty responsible. We never had trouble with party crashers, or people acting like dicks. The parties we went to were fun, happy places that allowed us to let loose and enjoy being young and stupid. I really bloody liked a good party. So, when my parents offered to throw me a 21st, I should have been beyond excited. But what a shitstorm of dismay it turned out to be. Turning 21 is a mild triumph. Getting through your own 21st birthday party without enduring a full-blown panic attack… that’s a fucking miracle. The whole event was chaotic. First, there was the process of inviting people. Because this all went down before social media even existed, I had to send invites via snail mail. It was a great way to learn about adjusting your expectations in life, because, if there’s one thing someone in their late teens or early 20s is probably not going to make a priority, it’s party-based paperwork. Once the invites were done, it was time to relax. And by relax, I mean call my friends relentlessly and demand they promise they were coming. When it came to the location, my parents wanted it to be memorable. They wanted something

to ‘wow’ my guests. They wanted a location that would set the tone for the rest of the night. But that was too expensive, so they hired out the function hall at the local Rotary Club, which was the perfect size for clearly showing just how few people I’d amassed as friends over 21 years.

helped Dad pull down the still-unscratched piñata, and did what any birthday boy should do: waited for everyone to leave, then drank the rest of their Vodka Cruisers.

The day of the party was awful. Waiting for my friends to arrive was utterly terrifying. I had never been the cool kid as a teenager, and that didn’t change as I lankily leapt into my 20s. My general look was unkempt hair, a questionable dress sense and adult braces. The only guests who were certainties were my parents and the overpriced/ disappointing DJ for the night.

By Caro Cooper -

(His name, by the way, was DJ Dave. DJ Dave had extensive experience in birthday parties, apparently. His bio also reassured us that he knew what the ‘kids’ wanted, and when they wanted it. It was apparent on the night, however, that none of those ‘kids’ were at my party.) The shindig itself was underwhelming. Think of an awkward school disco with kids lingering in corners, then throw in a bunch of pissed parents getting down awkwardly to “Dancing Queen”. When it came to entertainment, my parents thought long and hard about what a newly arrived adult would enjoy – if that newly arrived adult was a toddler. The standout was a piñata, perfect for encouraging children to explore their deeply entrenched anger management issues. After some time spent unsuccessfully trying to smash open the papier-mâché donkey, which appeared to be made out of concrete, it was time for speeches, otherwise known as ‘awkwardly hanging shit on someone through a microphone’. After that, things just kind of petered out. By midnight, it was time to move on. I thanked people for coming,

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People with kids always tell me I will never know the depths of true love until I have a child. I call bullshit on that. I dove blindly into the lagoon of true love when I was 11, and have been splashing around in it ever since. For my 12th birthday my family had planned a pool party – a Queensland classic. I was pumped. I’d be wearing my new Speedo catsuit with the zipper up the back. On the Wednesday afternoon before, I was dressed and ready for tap dancing class. I was a tap dancer for more than 10 years, and never any good. Mum didn’t like taking me and I didn’t like going; the teacher didn’t like me, nor did the other girls. I have no idea why we kept it up. On this day, though, Mum said we had to detour via the cake shop before class to check on the cake for the party. It didn’t seem odd to me that Mum would “check on the cake”, as though the baker required her assistance. Nor did it occur to me that Mum never once bought one of my birthday cakes. All I cared about was that there was a good chance I’d miss most of my tap class, or at least the awkward milling around at the start. Mum pulled into the carpark of a suburban shopping centre right in front of a pet shop. My sister asked if we could go in and, to my surprise, Mum agreed, with the caveat that we do it quickly. Sure, sure, sure, we promised.


writers’ piece

My sister and I, both blissfully unaware of the term ‘puppy mills’, oohed and ahhed at the little writhing babies in their cages. Our cooing was soon drowned out by the notes of a familiar song sung by a very unfamiliar voice. I looked up to see a large, sweaty man singing “Happy Birthday” while ceremoniously walking towards me cradling a tiny black and white puppy. Everything exploded. Not literally – although my bladder did a little – but it felt as if the world cracked in half and rainbows began shooting from its core. The big man with the reedy voice handed me the puppy. He was mine. All mine. The puppy, not the man. There’s a photo my mother took of me at this moment that captures everything: I’m standing in the doorway of a strip mall pet shop in a purple leotard, nursing a tiny puppy on my distended belly, the gusset of my fishnet tights protruding from either side of the crotch of my leotard. I’m heavily freckled, chubby cheeked, and my hair has patches of blonde where I used Sun-In to give me that beach babe glow. My face is split open in the biggest orthodontically challenged grin that my skeletal structure could support. I look like I’m about to eat the puppy. It’s the only photo from that time of my life that doesn’t make me cringe – I can’t see any of my flaws; all I see is joy. When it came time for my party that weekend, I couldn’t have been less interested. All I wanted was to swaddle my puppy, Rupert, and suffocate him with love. Rupert died nearly 15 years ago, and I still carry a bow of his hair in my wallet. It’s a reminder of the depth of joy I once felt; of the pure love that you will never know until you’re wearing a leotard and tap shoes and have a large, sweaty man hand you a puppy while singing “Happy Birthday” off-key.

By Eleanor Robertson For about 20 years, I was very jealous of other people’s birthdays. It was sort of like the envy you get when you look at Instagram celebrities’ lives, except that Instagram didn’t exist yet and the people I was jealous of weren’t coke-addled wellness bloggers using chia smoothies and warm-tinted filters to disguise their severe status anxiety. (Pastel green doesn’t look good on anybody except freshly squeezed infants, I don’t care how many coffintip gel manicures you get.) The problem was, for a long time my birthdays were awful. My first mistake was being born in hot and humid February, or, as I like to call it, ‘the punishment month’. This would probably be fine if I had a normal human homeostatic apparatus, but I don’t. Rather than using sweat to cool itself, my body reacts to heat by overproducing sebum and turning my skin a bright tomato red. I end up looking like one of those mercury thermometers in old-timey cartoons, where the bulb pulsates rhythmically before it eventually explodes. Rather than cooling me down, this just makes me insanely itchy. So, pretty much every year I’ve spent my birthday complaining loudly in the shade while manically scratching my flanks. There’s a very high incidence of warm rain on my birthday, which, when you’re already hot and itchy, feels like you’re also being pissed on. After a couple of extremely socially stressful parties in my pre-teen years, I also developed birthday anxiety. For weeks before the day, I would have vivid paranoid fantasies about all the awful things that could possibly happen at my birthday party. By the time the actual day rolled around, I would be a twitchy, sleepless wreck. Since the main physical symptom of anxiety for me is

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digestive distress, I’d also be running to the toilet every five minutes to shit myself. In retrospect, I feel I could’ve gotten away with simply not celebrating my birthday for a few years, but at the time that felt like a voluntary social death. Compounding these issues, my family life was at its most dramatically unstable around the same time. So I clung to my humid, itchy, anxious, impoverished, diarrhoeic birthday parties like they were the last available shred of normalcy in my life. By my late teens I had pretty much given up, and considered my birthday a success if I didn’t get lasting heat rash or have a huge dramatic argument with anyone close to me. For a few years in a row I moved house on my birthday, and lifting whitegoods in and out of two-tonne trucks was a major improvement on how they usually went down. There’s nothing like singing, “Happy birthday to me” while sitting on a milk crate drinking a single can of warm VB that you fished out from behind a piece of furniture. Fellow sufferers of bad birthdays, I share your pain. When you get that gift you’re allergic to from someone who should know better, I’m there with you. When your best friend picks a fight with you and you rise to the bait, screaming at each other while the sparklers burn down, I’m with you. When it’s too boiling, too freezing, or too anxiety-inducing to leave your extremely non-festive home, I’m with you. I am pleased to say, though, that I’ve now cracked the secret to good birthdays: get a nice partner with a reasonable disposable income who knows exactly what you like and will organise it without you having to ask. You could also try my old standby – drinking yourself unconscious – but if you’re older than 22, that just delays the awfulness till the next day, when you’ll start your next year on Earth by spending 18 hours crying into a bacon and egg roll in the dark. Hip hip hooray!


stuff

spin the bottle HYDRATING IS EASY-PEASY WITH THESE EYE-CATCHING DRINKING VESSELS. Top row: Retro Animal Faces water bottle, around $7.50, sassandbelle.co.uk. Kollab ask in mint, rrp $30, kollab.com.au. Onward & Upward water bottle, around $57, izola.com. Palm Beach bottle, around $43, swellbottle.com. Kitsch Kitchen Cats drinking bottle, rrp $21.95, peticular.com.au. Cool It glass water bottle in red/clear, around $35, bando.com. Middle row: Bright Eyes tumbler, around $31, katespade.com. Mother of Pearl bottle, around $31, swellbottle.com. Work It Out water bottle in lattice, around $25, bando.com. Melt bottle, around $44, mybkr.com. Stanley classic vacuum ask, rrp $75, mrkitly.com.au. Bear In Whimsical Wild metal travel mug, around $31, society6.com/ budikwan. Bottom row: Kitsch Kitchen Tiger drinking bottle, around $25, ikoiko.co.nz. Urban bottle in jungle green, around $34, 24bottles.com. High Five water bottle, around $21, letterclothing.com. Dahlia thermal mug, around $22, katespade.com. Gloss Peri Peri canteen, around $25, corkcicle.com. Work It Out water bottle with I Did My Best design, around $25, bando.com.

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LU X U RY. TA I LO R M A D E. OVER 3 0 LUXURY BR ANDS. O N E D E S T I N AT I O N .


learn something new

a tender feeling – you can also become more physically tender in your motor behaviour. Which is pretty cool.

the science of cute

What’s less cool (significantly so, in fact) is that Konrad was actually working for the Nazis when he came up with the baby schema. When he wasn’t in concentration camps studying the best methods for selective breeding, he was working on his cuteness theory – so it kind of makes sense that he linked adorability to the survival of the species, since perpetuating the ‘master race’ was the agenda of the day. But his work has nevertheless formed the blueprint for cute studies – a real area of academic research that is a) growing; and b) constantly discovering new things about humans’ responses to stuff that’s cute. Like in Japan, a place that’s so invested in cuteness that its Ministry of Foreign Affairs designated certain female fashion designers as “kawaii ambassadors”, making ‘kawaii’ an official foreign policy tool.

THERE’S A BIOLOGICAL REASON FOR THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SQUEAL. Words Mia Timpano

When you squeal over something cute, you’re not being weird. You’re actually responding to what Nobel Prize-winning scientist Konrad Lorenz described as “an innate releasing mechanism” that’s been programmed into you to ensure you’ll love and protect cute things – specifically, babies. Back in 1872, Charles Darwin suggested there must be something about kids that makes adults want to care for them and not flush them down the loo (I’m paraphrasing), but it was only in 1943 that someone went to the effort of figuring out exactly what that is. Enter Konrad with his Kindchenschema, or ‘baby schema’ for anyone who doesn’t speak Deutsch. The baby schema is a bunch of visual elements occurring on a bub that make you automatically smile: their disproportionately large head; big eyes set below the horizontal midline of the skull; a bulging forehead; their plump, little bod; short and thick extremities; chubby cheeks; and so on.

‘Kawaii’ roughly translates to the English word ‘cute’, but it literally means ‘able to be loved’. And that love is of great interest to Hiroshi Nittono, director of the Cognitive Psychophysiology Laboratory at Osaka University. He postulates that when you encounter something kawaii – e.g. a Hello Kitty lunchbox – you not only feel the instinct to nurture, but you also want to get close to that thing and play with it. You become a nicer person, apparently – studies have shown that when a cute baby or animal is present (be it the living, breathing thing, or even a photographic representation), people are more willing to help others (which is why – sadly – you’re more likely to give money to a homeless person with an adorable pooch). Of course, companies have and will continue to cash in on our instinctive response to cuteness. Just look at the Mini Cooper – a car that’s modelled on the baby schema with its big headlights (read: eyes) and small middle grille (read: nose). Inevitably, you’ll be more likely to smile at these features, and want to approach the vehicle – even if you’re a baby yourself. Yep, little ones respond to the baby schema as much as adults, only they prefer it in puppies and kittens over humans. Interestingly, there are non-animal things that we rate as cute, too – flowers, accessories, colours – but how that works, we’re not quite sure. For now, just keep squealing.

When we clock a tot who has all the aforementioned features, we get a hit of dopamine and oxytocin, the brain juice that makes us feel super-good. We also perform better at tasks requiring hand-eye coordination. When folks were shown a slideshow of cute images (specifically, those of puppies and kittens), their fine motor dexterity improved, as evidenced by their ability to play the game Operation (that’s the one where you have to delicately remove a person’s organs with a set of tweezers, lest you touch the sides even slightly and they die or something). The experiment demonstrated that when you come into contact with something cute, you don’t just get

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Photographs Putu Sayoga


music talks

pedal to the metal in west java, indonesia, firdda kurnia, 17, widi rahmawati, 15, and euis siti aisyah, 16, thrash out heavy metal music for their band, voice of baceprot. fellow muslim metalhead karina utomo from melbourne’s high tension had a chat with firdda – the group’s guitarist and vocalist.

Why do you think it’s imperative for young Muslim women to be visible – creating, contributing and having a voice? I just wanted to be able to smash old-fashioned ways of thinking. In the eyes of these people, Muslims and Muslim women who wear hijabs must be passive and easy to oppress. What is happening in Palestine to our Muslim brothers and sisters, we aren’t in a position to physically go over there to help them. This is our way of helping, from where we are, by smashing that way of thinking.

The worldwide metal community has been incredibly responsive to Voice of Baceprot (VoB). How did the band come about? We know each other through our high school. Playing music is something that was introduced to us by our English teacher – and now our manager – Abah Erza; it was Abah who taught us how to play all our instruments from scratch. We didn’t play metal songs straight away – only after we fell in love with the heavy music Abah routinely listened to. How did you decide who would play which instruments? It happened really organically. All of us were guitar players to begin with, and we experimented with the different instruments before we decided who would be the bass player and drummer.

For a long time, conservative Muslims have argued that the creation of music is haram, or prohibited – how do you keep a balance between your love of music and practising your faith? In my opinion, metal is just a genre. It’s a space to create. Meanwhile, Islam is still my religion. I still continue with my duty as a Muslim by covering up, by wearing a hijab. I continue to practise my worship on time and it does not affect me.

You’ve described an immediate connection to heavy music because it sounds so “rebellious”. What drives you to create it yourselves? I feel that the current state of a teenager’s world is unstable and unsafe. For example, more and more teenagers in Indonesia are casually dabbling in promiscuity, even my own friends. For me, music is necessary to stop any negativity from infiltrating my world – to redirect my focus into something positive. Music is therapy for my anxious heart.

What has the response been like from your community? There are a lot of people from the Muslim community who have shown their appreciation and support. They’ve praised us for our bravery, and commended us for playing metal while still using the hijab and continuing with our obligations as Muslims. In the beginning we were afraid, as we received a few threats. Perhaps these people had the perception that metal has negative connotations. We’ve also had rocks thrown at us. At one point, my parents prohibited me from playing music and performing, as they were afraid something worse could happen. But it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Creating music is more important – to be who I am and free to create.

What are some of the other frustrations that you address in VoB’s music? Social criticism and our concerns with what’s happening around us is a constant theme. Often we vent our frustrations to Abah and we workshop lyrics together. Through our songs, we want to spread a message of kindness – not just specific to youths, but around matters like morality, environmental conservation and not being afraid to hold an opinion.

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shiny bits

let us adorn you some local jewellery designers talk us through their latest collections. INTERVIEWS SOPHIE KALAGAS STYLING BECKIE LITTLER PHOTOGRAPHY ANNETTE O’BRIEN

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ABBY SEYMOUR

How do you describe the style of jewellery you create? A timeless yet contemporary style – one that integrates geometry, raw materials and intricate texture. What makes it unique? I often get told that my designs look like they’ve just been dug up from the ground from another time – that they have an “otherworldly, ancient appeal”. I think it’s the fusing of classic, timeless designs and materials with hand-detailing that creates that feel. What’s it like seeing someone on the street wearing one of your creations? It’s pretty amazing to think there are people out there who appreciate what I make and love wearing it on a daily basis. I especially love when repeat customers tell me all the meanings and stories that my pieces have made for them. How long have you been making jewellery? For 10 years now, although I’ve built up my practice little by little. My trained background is in printmaking and art, but I’d always been drawn to process and small details, so I loved the idea of adapting my skills to this medium. I also loved that jewellery was in a sense ‘wearable art’, and the end result could be appreciated every day. Where do you look for inspiration? Inspiration comes when I take time out. I tend to look at things differently when I don’t have a million to-do lists in my head and my blinkers are down! What kinds of materials and techniques do you use? The main materials I work with are sterling silver, oxidised silver, solid gold (never plated), brass and porcelain. Each of these has its own beauty and restraints, but I always try to let the qualities of the materials shine through. My trademark technique would be wax-carving to cast metal jewellery. I love the process: it begins in wax, then I inscribe my distinctive marks on the surface before a mould is made. Tell us about your latest collection. I’ve just released a diffusion label, Abby For Abby Seymour, that includes my first homewares collection and a suite of more accessible jewellery pieces. Approaching design in a new context, with more affordable precious materials, allowed me to explore different processes and introduce new shapes, larger scales and colours. What are your tips for choosing the right piece of jewellery? I would always try to get solid, not plated, jewellery. It will last longer, retain more value, and be easier to maintain. Where can we buy your lovely pieces? abbyseymour.com or abbyforabbyseymour.etsy.com

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BIANCA MAVRICK

How do you describe the style of jewellery you create? I try to make work that has a very distinct visual language and doesn’t feel like it fits typical jewellery design archetypes. This translates into bold graphic motifs, and clever colour palettes and materials. What’s your design hallmark? Definitely oversized, colourful statement earrings with abstract graphic motifs! I’ve been doing this since my first collection, even when delicate, minimalist jewellery was more on-trend. What kinds of techniques do you use? I’ve experimented with industrial colour coatings on metal; creating unique resin moulds; hand-pigmenting; marbling; pouring; and sanding. I think having a background in industrial design helps me approach jewellery design differently. I love looking at materials and finishes common to things like furniture design and applying them to my pieces. Tell us about your latest collection. It was based on the idea of layering and contrasting materials – minimalist silhouettes contrasting with maximalist details. I was imagining what it would be like to live in an opulent private residence-turned-art-gallery, curated exactly the way you’d like with every object or artwork from history you’ve ever coveted! Who would you most like to see sporting your wares? Definitely Solange Knowles! She’s such an icon and I love her personal style. Any tips for making jewellery? Be kind to your body and be careful! Jewellery is very physical and involves lots of sharp tools, fire and dangerous chemicals. You need patience and precision. Where do you look for inspiration? I love to dwell on museum artefacts and my local subtropical suburban landscape. I make it a rule to never look at other jewellery for inspiration, so I can stay in an aesthetic world of my own making. What else do you do when you’re not designing? I’m learning to only work five days a week instead of seven, which is hard when you run a small business and your tasks include everything from design to production, logistics, accounting, e-commerce, art direction, marketing and graphic design. I love studio visits with artist friends as a way of bouncing ideas, going to gallery openings, and walking my dog. I also love to lie out on the beach and just sleep and wander around nature. Where can we buy your lovely pieces? biancamavrick.com

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PEACHES + KEEN LUCY HEARN AND LILY DALEY

How do you describe the style of jewellery you create? Lucy Hearn: We make colourful, lightweight, easy-to-wear earrings. Each pair is its own one-off wearable artwork. How did you get started? LH: In the early days of Peaches + Keen, I was making necklaces, earrings and collages, Lily was taking photos and painting, and together we were making giant hanging terrariums. Eventually we realised we could combine our talents, and from there our work has continued to evolve. Tell us about your latest collection. Lily Daley: We don’t have ‘collections’ so much as an ever-evolving body of work that changes with new ideas and inspiration. Currently, our work is focused on creating pattern and texture with the materials, but this might lead us onto a new path and new ideas. Where do you look for inspiration? LH: Living in Melbourne’s beautiful Dandenong Ranges, daily inspiration comes from the leaves; the shapes of the light in the forest; and the mountainscapes around us. We also inspire each other. If one of us comes up with a new approach, the other will take that idea and reinterpret it in their own way. Is there such a thing as wearing too many accessories? LD: Who are we to tell someone what to do with their life?! Who would you most like to see sporting your wares? LD: Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Claudia Karvan in The Big Steal. David Bowie in Labyrinth. Any Wes Anderson character ever. And your grandma at the local shops! What’s it like working on such a small scale? LH: Honestly, it’s really difficult. There are only two of us, and because everything is done by hand, we’re putting a lot of ourselves into it. Throw husbands, kids, friends, family, renovations and everything else into the mix and we’re constantly trying to keep up with our commitments. We often dream of sending our work into production, but that raises all kinds of financial, logistical and ethical issues. Do you have an accessorising idol? LD: Baba Desi, the Belgrave Wizard. He puts together the most incredible colour-themed outfits with layers of texture and amazing attention to detail. Also, when you pass him walking with his cane in the street he smiles and tells you to have a great day. Where can we buy your lovely pieces? peachesandkeen.com

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TWO HILLS RHIANNON SMITH

How long have you been making jewellery? One of my first jobs after high school was as a polisher for a very large jeweller in Queensland – two years in, I never wanted to see another diamond solitaire again! I did, however, learn a lot about manufacturing and the processes involved in working with precious metals. What’s your design hallmark? I’ve always worked with quite fine materials like silver, gold and brass wires, and I think that has become somewhat of a Two Hills trait. I really appreciate the warmth of a handmade object, when traces of the process are still evident and contribute to the overall feel. Where do you look for inspiration? New experiences and unfamiliar spaces are always going to inspire a reaction. More often than not, though, I’m stuck in the day to day, so I go to my bookshelf and flick through pages about art, ikebana or architecture. Tell us about your latest collection. I was in a bit of a rut in the studio, so I decided to have a break from production and make a silly pair of earrings for myself. I’d been looking at the work of some of my favourite modern artists, and wanted to translate some of the lines and elements of their paintings into metal. I very haphazardly whipped up a pair, and people reacted to them so strongly that I thought to myself, “I should probably make more.” Do you have an accessorising idol? Claudette Colbert as Cleopatra in the Cecil B. DeMille epic has to make the list, and Sade’s iconic gold hoops will always be my idea of perfection. What’s it like seeing someone on the street wearing one of your creations? I remember seeing a woman in a really great outfit and thinking she’d nailed it, then I realised she was wearing some of my earrings! I felt kind of embarrassed… I’m pretty sure I blushed. What would you like to experiment with going forward? I would love to do more work with gemstones. It’s extremely difficult to find suppliers of interesting cuts and colours in Australia, which is a huge bummer, as I always prefer to source things locally. What are your tips for choosing the right piece of jewellery? Trust your instincts. In my experience, the first piece you’re drawn to is often the right one. Where can we buy your lovely pieces? twohills.com.au

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Strange-looking bunkers, Soviet space dogs, black market beehives and Ansel Adams’s poached eggs.

SMITH JOURNA L VOLU ME 24 IS OU T NOW

THINK ADVEN ERS. TURE RS. MAKE RS. WR I T E RS. INVEN TORS.

smithjournal.com.au


Sam JINKS Divide (self portrait) 2011 mixed media, 86 x 60 cm, Collection: National Portrait Gallery, Canberra Purchased 2015, Š Sam Jinks

#romancingtheskull


my project Photo Duncan Wright

Mum,’ and popped my phone back in my pocket. I got home later that evening and the 50 people invited had grown to about 5000. By the following morning it was 25,000.”

essentials for women THIS CAMPAIGN IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA GIVES WOMEN IN NEED HOPE (AND TOILETRIES).

That Christmas, Lenny helped coordinate the donation of 52,000 items to 30 different homeless support groups. It was an enormous achievement and widely praised, but by April, many of those non-profits were high and dry again. About 10,000 people are homeless each night in Perth – 45 per cent of them women – and many of these ladies have fled domestic violence. So, determined to make a lasting impact, Lenny launched Essentials for Women – a group that collects and distributes bras, knickers, toiletries and sanitary products year-round, with a major drive held each October. “We’ve given out more than 110,000 items in three years, including things like shampoo and conditioner, pads and tampons, soap and toothpaste. I think that’s a testament to how generous Perth is as a city,” she says.

Words Koren Helbig

Unexpectedly getting your period when you have zero pads or tampons on hand can prompt a very special brand of panic: the clumsy wadding of toilet paper; the frantic questioning of every friend or stranger within earshot; perhaps a hasty dash to the nearest store. But what if you were homeless and cashless, too?

Some donations definitely aren’t wanted, however. “The request was, ‘No granny undies,’” Lenny says with a laugh. Turns out support groups had previously been inundated with enormous baggy knickers – less than ideal, considering many homeless women are aged 20 to 50. “Sometimes people send used underwear,” she continues. “No, thank you! It needs to be new. We say to people, ‘If you wouldn’t want to receive it as a gift from your significant other, then we don’t want it either.’ We want to empower women in need. Giving them a bra in the correct size, that’s new and might be a little bit fancy or sexy, might help them feel better about themselves.”

“We’ve all had that momentary panic – homeless women have a week-long panic every month,” says Lenny Jacoby, a renal nurse based in Perth. “They just use whatever they can find, whether it’s a sock or some toilet paper or leaves, or even spend the whole day in the public toilets. It’s going back to a really primitive lifestyle, and we’re quite a wealthy country. To think that women are out there doing that is just crazy.” Lenny first started pondering this problem back in October 2014, when a friend working at a drop-in centre mentioned just how much money non-profits blow each month on sanitary products and knickers for needy women. Hoping to help, Lenny figured she’d rally some friends and maybe donate a couple hundred pairs of undies and boxes of tampons between them. “At that time, I was probably the worst Gen Y person at using social media. I’d check it once a week, maybe twice,” Lenny recalls. “So I did my little Facebook event and went on with my afternoon, played netball. My mum sent me a message – and she can be a little dramatic – that said, ‘You urgently need to organise collection points!’ I was like, ‘Good one,

With similar groups now popping up in other Australian cities – “We call them our sanitary sisters,” Lenny says – Essentials for Women is focused squarely on the enormous state of Western Australia. Lenny hopes to expand to regional areas and Indigenous communities that often suffer from a lack of services. It’s not easy, of course, building a brand new non-profit while working part-time and raising two kids. “I’m surrounded by some pretty amazing volunteers, and if it wasn’t for them, we would struggle,” Lenny admits. “I think we underestimate how much women want to support women. You get 20 empowered ladies in one room and you feel like you can take on the world.”

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crafty

a fine lion

When the first row is complete, continue the same process around the loops you’ve created. Keep going until the thread runs out, then make a knot and trim any excess.

STITCH UP YOUR VERY OWN KING OF THE JUNGLE.

EMBROIDER THE FACE Grab the fabric and trace the outline of the hoop in pencil. Draw on the lion’s face, as you like it. Next, make a small backstitch (approximately 2-3mm long) at the upper-left corner of the lion’s snout.

Words, photo and project Adriana Torres

Use a trellis stitch (which is very similar to the knotted blanket, but creates a solid pattern – YouTube can help you here, too) to stitch the first row along the top of the nose from left to right. Then, continue the second from right to left. Keep doing this back and forth until the rectangular shape is filled. At the end, add a couple of small stitches to fix the embroidery to the fabric. (Squeeze some stuffing in before this if you’d like to give the nose a bit of lift.)

MATERIALS a wooden hoop with no screw (10-15cm in diameter) / micro hand-twist drill / 1-2mm drill bit / milliner needle (aka straw needle) / twisted threads / any cotton fabric / small pair of scissors / ruler / pencil

To create the eyes, embroider an eyelet using overcast stitch, like so: draw a circle on the fabric and backstitch around the outline. Cut out the fabric inside the shape, leaving 2mm to the backstitch. Then, embroider small, tight, straight stitches all around the circle, hiding any loose threads underneath the stitches at the back of the fabric. This will make sure the cut fabric doesn’t unravel or fray.

CREATE THE MANE Using the pencil, mark even dots 5 to 10mm apart on the outer edge of the larger hoop. With a mini drill bit, pierce the wood at each dot. Then, starting from the inside of the hoop, insert a threaded needle into any hole, pulling it all the way through to the back. Go in through the next hole and out again through the one after. Once you’ve made it all the way around, you should have a dotted line. Go back the opposite way, filling the gaps to create a solid line (it will look like a backstitch).

The ears can be created with detached trellis stitching, or, if you’d like to try something new, open base needlewoven picot works, too. (Again – lots of handy how-tos online!) Stitch both lion ears in place, then add any other details you fancy – cute little whiskers, criss-crossed cheeks or a pair of buttons to complete the snout. SET UP THE MASK

When you’ve finished, tie a knot at the back. Now, you have the foundation to stitch the lacy edging – aka the mane. Prepare a needle with a very long piece of thread, insert it in any hole along the inside edge and pull it through. Move around the hoop using a knotted blanket stitch, or ‘Antwerp edging’. (There are some nifty little tutorials on YouTube.)

Place the inner ring of the hoop on the table, with the fabric set up in the centre. The outer ring with the lacy mane should then go over the top – push down hard until the two hoops fit together. Cut away any leftover fabric at the back, and voilà – you’ve finished your lion mask! Hang it up on the wall and roar with pride.

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try this at home

it’s all relative michelle law has a few tips for surviving a family holiday.

Are you packing your bags for a family trip? About to be stuck for hours in a moving vehicle with the people you love most in this world, but could also murder at the drop of a hat? Here are some tips for surviving – and even enjoying – your upcoming vacation. .

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CHOOSE AN EASY DESTINATION Maybe it’s your personal dream to see the Northern Lights in Iceland or trek the Great Wall of China, but chances are you’re travelling with some older folks, or newborns, or a social media addict who can’t be away from a power source too long. Choose a destination that’s easy for everyone, taking into account things like transport options, climate, crazy crowds and a comfortable bed to flop into at the end of a long day of touring. Perhaps avoid destinations that require a million vaccinations or meds for dysentery. The last thing you want is to be sharing one toilet among 10 bursting butts. .

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PLAN EVERYTHING (SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING) Get together as a family months in advance and figure out how this trip is going to work. Where will you be staying? What will you be eating and which restaurants will you book ahead? (This is important for anyone with dietary requirements or a tendency to get hangry.) Is it cheaper to hire a car or use cabs and ride-sharing? Are your passports valid? Do you need visas? This might sound like basic stuff, but winging it once you get there only flies when you’re travelling solo. With so many personalities to wrangle in one place, a disorderly itinerary will lead to fights and finger-pointing – basically the opening scene of Home Alone, aka hell. .

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BE OPEN TO COMPROMISE Statistically, there are going to be some inflexible and frankly neurotic folks in the group, so try and compromise

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in ways that make life easier for everyone. That might mean letting the couples have the comfy beds while you take the weird trundle, or drinking turmeric lattes at a new-age café because someone’s on a strict diet. Pick your battles – it’s fine to blow up if your parents leave you behind at the servo, but don’t lose it over someone accidentally scoffing the Cherry Ripe you left on the kitchen counter. .

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MAKE TIME TO BE ALONE… Travelling in groups is stressful, but more than anything it’s extremely loud – from anecdotes at the dinner table, to wailing kids, to chronic snorers. There will undoubtedly come a time when you want to run screaming into the woods for some precious peace and quiet, so sneak away and be alone for a while. This is your holiday, too, so why shouldn’t you get some downtime? Bring a book; do some knitting; listen to music; take a nap; go for a walk; have a bath. Barricade yourself in a room for an hour or two if necessary. Remember, you don’t need to partake in every activity, nor should you feel guilty about practising a little self-care. .

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… BUT ALSO TO HANG OUT If you live far away from your family or don’t get to visit them as often as you’d like, this holiday is a rare moment to spend some quality time together and appreciate seeing them face-to-face. Brew some tea (or pop a bottle of bubbly) and have a deep and meaningful with your loved ones about what’s going on in their lives right now. How’s your brother coping with being a new dad? Does your sister love her job? What is your mum’s plan for her upcoming retirement? Your family will want to know all about your life, too, and who better to vent


try this at home

to than your closest kin? (It’s their job not to judge, and to love you unconditionally. Suckers.) Take these moments as precious opportunities to strengthen your bond. Besides anything else, it’ll give you something to talk about beyond the weather next time you’re on the phone. .

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you coat hangers for Christmas in the same year your parents bought your cousin Sea Monkeys? Fights are inevitable (yes, you will be those insane people screaming at each other over the hotel breakfast buffet), but try to keep them focused on what’s happening in the moment, so this trip doesn’t become ammo for future disputes.

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PREPARE TO REGRESS Even if you’re a grown-arse person, chances are you’ll still revert to family dynamics from your childhood once everyone is together in one place. Whether you’re 15 or 50, family holidays are just like Christmas: the nostalgic flashback will have you banging on the bathroom door screaming for your brother to hurry up and stop hogging the shower in no time. If you’re the eldest, you’ll fall back into responsibility mode, helping drive everyone around or make meals. If you’re the youngest, you’ll be treated like a kid, even if you have a full-time job and children of your own. You could try gently subverting these roles, but then again, it might be worth accepting the reality for the short period you’re away. At least it’s a nice little break from your day-to-day life as a self-governing adult. .

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BRING A CAMERA It’s the best thing in the world to sit down and flick through old photo albums from when you were a kid, so just imagine how incredible it will be to look back on snaps from this family getaway when you’re old and grey. Lugging around a camera might seem cumbersome when you’re on the go, but it will be worth it. Trust me. For something extra-special, take some Polaroids, or try the One Second Every Day app on your smartphone, which enables you to create a montage-like movie comprised of one-second videos you’ve taken throughout your trip. .

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GET SILLY TOGETHER When you get the chemistry right, family holidays can be pretty darn amazing. It sounds corny, but that chemistry happens when you’re spending quality time with each other, doing activities that involve everyone in simple ways. It might be roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories around a campfire, or watching dumb zombie movies with a tonne of snacks and lollies; declaring war over a game of Monopoly; belting out some tunes at pub karaoke; or getting sloshed together and having a good gossip. Time with your family can be nostalgic, wholesome fun, and you don’t need to worry whether you’ll make a dick of yourself or how you’ll get home after a big night. That’s what family is for, right?

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EXPECT FIGHTS TO HAPPEN Family fights are unique, because old feuds you don’t even remember will be dredged up in ways that have nothing to do with the fight at hand. Your sister took the last beer out of the fridge and this is exactly like that time you were 11 years old and she stole your temporary tattoos! Your brother left on a bush walk without you, which is basically the same as when he lost you in the carpark after the movies 20 years ago! Your aunt won’t agree to the nicer accommodation because she’s cheap, which is typical, because, remember when she gifted

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around the world

the wayúu people french photographer delphine blast spent time in one of the last matriarchal societies in the world. WORDS KOREN HELBIG

house, in hammocks strung up at night and removed at around 4am when everyone woke for the day. “They don’t have a lot of electricity there, so we were living according to the sun,” she recalls.

After travelling literally night and day to reach a remote northern Colombian region inhabited by one of the world’s last matriarchal societies – a clan notorious for being rather stand-offish – the first thing French photographer Delphine Blast did was buy a goat. Revered as a rare meaty delicacy in the area, that gifted goat quickly endeared Delphine to members of the little-known Wayúu community. Well, that and the instant kudos she scored by rolling into town beside the clan’s highly respected shaman, a woman Delphine had met by chance just a few days earlier. Delphine’s a self-taught photographer who studied international relations, before switching paths to follow her photography dream in her late 20s. Obsessed with South America, she headed to Colombia in 2014, planning to settle down there. “I quickly realised it was not the country for me,” she recalls. “But still, I knew I had a lot of stories to tell. What you see and read in the newspapers about Colombia is always about drugs and cocaine. I knew there was so much more to talk about.” Poking about the internet, Delphine spotted a few references to the Wayúu matriarchs and promptly headed to the United Nations office in Bogota, Colombia’s capital, to find out more. “There are 270,000 indigenous Wayúu, but not a lot of people know about them,” she says. “The UN told me, ‘Go to Santa Marta, to a little office called La Casa de las Indianas, ask for a Wayúu and then you will see.’ So that’s what I did.” She struck it lucky upon arrival, bumping into a young Wayúu boy who promised to introduce her to his mother, a shaman named María Arpuchana. She was in town to sell the traditional woven bags for which the Wayúu are famed worldwide, and agreed to let Delphine tag along when she returned home two days later. For a full week, Delphine lived with members of the Arpuchana clan in the region of La Guajira, on the border of Colombia and Venezuela. (The Wayúu people, having resisted Spanish colonisation and maintained their independence, hold dual citizenship and can freely cross the border.) She slept beside six or seven people in an earthen

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Through observation and endless conversations – translated from Spanish to Wayuunaiki and back by María – Delphine gradually came to understand a little more of the Wayúu way of life. Rather than villages, Wayúu Indians are organised in matriarchal clans, with women at their centre and children taking their mother’s surname. Traditional ceremonies and rites, including animal sacrifices and funeral ceremonies, still play a pivotal role, and Wayúu place huge respect upon their lands, rarely leaving their own territory, except to sell their woven bags and crafts in larger villages. The most important tradition is likely the womanhood rite of passage that each young girl undertakes: encierro. During the ceremony, girls are taught the traditional Wayúu ways – all while remaining in a hammock for months, or even years, on end. “She is taken care of and only comes down to go to the toilet, or when she’s being shown how to weave the bags and hammocks with wool,” Delphine explains. “Before, they would have stayed there for two to three years. But nowadays the girls go to school, so it’s more like three months, sometimes even less.” Sadly, modern encroachment is having more dire effects on the group, too. Exploitation by mining companies has contaminated local water sources, while low rainfall is causing widespread cattle and goat deaths, threatening Wayúu independence. Some Colombian non-profit groups estimate 40,000 Wayúu children are malnourished. Delphine hopes her documentary photo series will help highlight this suffering and show that, rather than simply being hostile by disposition, the Wayúu are engaged in a fight for the survival of their land and lifestyle. “The Wayúu people are victims of climate change because of what we do. Even if it’s indirect and unknowing, we have a big impact on their way of life. I want people to know that these communities exist and they are threatened.”


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SCARLETT RED DESIGNS As the home of cool threads for little rockers, we provide the antidote to boring, bland kids’ clothing. Our designs are (mostly) unisex, dreamt up in Melbourne. Our inspiration? Rockabilly, alt country and rock ‘n’ roll sounds. scarlettreddesigns.com g

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look what i made

the high life LOS ANGELES ARTIST JEDEDIAH CORWYN VOLTZ MAKES TEENY-TINY POT PLANT-SIZED TREEHOUSES. Interview Sophie Kalagas

Who are you and what do you do? My name is Jedediah Corwyn Voltz, and I’m an artist and prop maker. What made you start this project? In the process of making props for the film industry, I end up with lots of little scraps of wood and plastic. One day, during a lull in the studio, I started making a tiny house, and jammed it into a houseplant I had nearby. As people visited and commented on it, I had the idea to build some from the ground up, with the intention of creating plant-based pieces of art. Now I’ve made somewhere between 50 and 60. What kinds of materials do you use? Balsa wood, basswood, bamboo, fabric, plastic, glass, gems, crystals, ceramics and, of course, plants. How fiddly is the process of creating a tiny treehouse? Very. I’m six-foot-seven, 159 kilos, and I make miniatures. There are a lot of tweezers involved. How long does each piece take to make? I never just make one from start to finish. Usually I’ve got a whole bunch in various states that I add to when the inspiration strikes. If I had to just sit down and make one, though, I’d say about a week. What inspires you? Everything, every day. Lyrics from songs; snippets from movies that are constantly running in the background in my studio; the eclectic architecture of my neighbourhood; the way a pile of sticks has fallen in my yard. Do you imagine the tiny people who might live within your treehouses? I actually don’t imagine people living in them at all. I imagine them having once been lived in, but now either recently abandoned or awaiting new occupants. Talk us through the décor inside the houses. I make every single thing inside the houses and, now that I’ve gotten into ceramics, I make the pots they live in, as well. The furniture is either hand-built, or assembled from pieces I designed and had laser cut. The rugs and fabric elements I have printed onto silk. Maybe someday I’ll make a shirt for myself with some of the leftovers. What puts you in the mood to create? Loud, grim, bleak black metal and seeing the work of artists I admire. I have a hard time staying in galleries or museums for very long, because I always see something that has me wanting to rush back to the studio to start something new. Where can we see more of your work? On Instagram at @jed_voltz.

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music talks Photo David Pollock

a country band, but they’re from Ghana, so it doesn’t sound like a country band at all. It’s just the most joyous music. We would listen to that song all the time when we first met. We’ve always tried to make music that sounds like that.”

going the distance SACRED PAWS IS A BAND WITHOUT BORDERS.

Indeed, listening to Sacred Paws’ debut album, Strike A Match, is an exercise in pure enjoyment: high energy, friendly vibes, and jangly melodies that insist upon a reaction from one’s booty. In essence, it’s a good time, recorded quickly. (When Mogwai – aka the dudes behind their label, Rock Action Records – booked them four days in the studio to record their EP, the girls laughed. They’d previously recorded 12 songs in two days.) As for the writing side, that can only happen when they’re physically together. “Sometimes I’ll write a song and bring it to Scotland, but it just doesn’t work,” Rachel says. “The songs I write on my own don’t have the same energy. And Eilidh is a really good test of whether something’s good. She’s not mean, but she’s quite discerning. If a song is boring, she just doesn’t want to play it.”

Words Mia Timpano

The Proclaimers would walk 500 miles, and then 500 more, just to fall down at your door. It’s impressive, yes – but perhaps not quite as impressive as Rachel Aggs’s 10-hour commute to Glasgow. The Sacred Paws guitarist regularly makes the trek from her London home to play gigs, record tunes and watch the occasional X-Files marathon with drummer and bandmate Eilidh Rogers. “We wanted to spend more time together, because we got on really well when we were playing in another band,” Rachel says, tucked up in her sharehouse bunk bed in England. “We didn’t get to see each other that much, so we were like, ‘Let’s do another band.’ It was a bit crazy, because we lived so far away from each other.”

They’ve won over a lot of fans. A whole country of fans, in fact – the two-piece recently took home the award for Scottish Album of the Year, an accolade that came as a total surprise, leaving the pair speechless on stage. “We had various family members telling us off afterwards, saying, ‘It was really embarrassing – you didn’t say anything!’” Rachel says, still awash with amazement. “As a band, we’ve always considered ourselves punk; what we do comes from the underground, DIY scene. We don’t really consider ourselves part of a music industry as such. But after the award ceremony, it felt like we were proper.”

Between jamming sessions, the duo traded long-distance mixtapes – the old-school kind. Eilidh, having the good fortune to work at Glasgow’s cult record store Monorail, was able to grab all kinds of obscure vinyl, sit next to a record player and dub mixtapes for Rachel. Meanwhile, Rachel, who didn’t have access to a tape recorder, made do with burning CDs for Eilidh. “I actually found the tracklist for an old mixtape Eilidh made me the other day,” Rachel recalls. “There was a song from a ’70s band called The Spiritual Singers. They’re

There are things Rachel might do differently were she launching the band today, starting with how many people are in it. “I find doing shows as a two-piece quite exhausting, because you really can’t fuck up,” she says. “You’re quite exposed. So I don’t know if I would choose to be in a two-piece again. But I think the dynamic between us is still very much at the centre of Sacred Paws – that’s what it’s all about. Besides, no one else would want to be part of a band that lives a 10-hour bus ride away.”

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rant Photo Lukasz Wierzbowski

a losing game

swimming pools. Avoiding being grouped with the kids who do athletics. So far as my high school PE teacher’s concerned, I have my period for 365 days of the year.

HIGH SCHOOL SPORT HAS A LOT TO ANSWER FOR. JUST ASK SAM PRENDERGAST.

As a wheezy, flat-footed, coordination-impaired teenager, my only real hope was to find the few kids even worse at exercising than me and make sure I did everything after them. Sure, it might take me five minutes to swim 50 metres, but that doesn’t look so bad after Sandy’s just taken 10 minutes to walk down the length of the pool pretending to do freestyle with her arms in the air. High school sport makes normal teenagers mean and sneaky. As soon as PE class began, I’d bolt for the back of the group and try my best to remain forever at the end of the line. Friendships were forgotten as everyone scrambled to avoid their turn on the balance beam. It was a traumatic time.

In the dream version of my life, I’m the type of person who could happily train for a marathon. In reality, I’m the type of person who goes for a single run, tells everyone how ‘refreshing’ it was, then avoids physical activity for the next two months. I blame high school sports. I don’t know who came up with the idea of forcing hormonal teenagers to race each other down 100-metre strips of grass, but so far as I can tell, it’s scarred us all for life.

Every year this culminated in one particularly terrible event that some sinister genius decided to call a ‘carnival’. I don’t know about everyone else, but my idea of a ‘carnival’ does not involve being forced to throw myself over poles in mid-air while a bunch of snickering teenagers watch on. The easy answer to sports day was to pull a full-on sickie – whatever you could do to earn a day on the couch. Unfortunately, my sadistic teachers were onto this, and somehow attendance was mandatory. Athletic kids could be excused from normal school days just to attend cross-country runs and week-long netball tournaments, but nerds were condemned to participate in the screeching, neon zinc-covered, air horn-filled mess that was a school sports day.

Exhibit A: literally every gym. Like many 20-something Australians, I let a bunch of overly toned exercisers take $20 out of my bank account each week in return for a swipe card that says ‘FITNESS’. Occasionally I use the swipe card to enter their territory and I heave myself onto a treadmill while living incarnations of Ken dolls grunt and sweat all around me. I don’t always hate running. Every so often I feel small bursts of something that might be described as ‘pleasure’. But all that’s forgotten the second I go home, and then my gym membership’s reduced to its usual status as the thing I keep on my keyring as proof of being a genuine adult.

Meanwhile, there’s an office full of government bureaucrats trying to figure out why we’re all so sedentary. Here’s an easy answer, people: stop forcing teenagers to engage in the horror that is high school physical education. The real absurdity of forced competitive exercise is that it teaches us to fear the things we might otherwise sort of enjoy. I mean, in breaking news: it’s not very fun to go running when your creepy year 9 maths teacher is coming up behind you screaming, “GET A MOVE ON, GIRLS.” Until we can erase that memory from our heads, we’re pretty much doomed.

In theory, school phys ed classes are meant to train us to be healthy humans – the types who take the stairs and own small handheld dumbbells. But in the five years I spent wearing polyester shorts and school-branded t-shirts, the only skill I learnt was the mystical art of avoidance. Avoiding flying basketballs. Avoiding outdoor

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over 260 pages of creative people and their spaces in australia, new zealand and asia.

SPACES Volume 4 An interiors book by frankie magazine frankie.com.au/spaces4 EM M A BY R N ES & PET E B A R R ET T


popcorn

playing pretend more of a movie bluff than a movie buff ? feign knowledge of some seminal flicks with this handy silver screen cheat sheet. WORDS SAM PRENDERGAST

FIGHT CLUB (1999) // In a sentence: An IKEA-addicted insomniac finds himself in a problematic relationship with an abusive dude who **SPOILER ALERT** is actually just his alter ego. A little more: Fight Club is a cautionary tale about inattentive doctors. When Jack visits his GP for insomnia, he’s told to suck it up and redirected to a testicular cancer support group, i.e. a place where he’ll see “real pain”. Cue months of increased emotional turmoil that might have been offset by a decent mental health plan. Jack becomes addicted to support groups, and runs into Tyler Durden, aka Brad Pitt. Tyler is what your parents would call a ‘bad influence’, and soon Jack is behaving like an egomaniacal bully. Together they start an anti-capitalist ‘Fight Club’ and a cult called Project Mayhem. In a (retrospectively) very predictable twist, it turns out Tyler and Jack were the same person all along. Notable quote: “The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.” .

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business. A little more: On this, the day of his daughter’s wedding, Vito Corleone sits behind his desk while a collection of well-dressed men ask him for favours (we’re mostly talking murder). Meanwhile, Vito’s son Michael promises his fiancée he’s not part of the ‘family business’. Fast-forward three hours and it turns out Michael lied. This is a film about powerful Italian men making it in America, but it’s also about the reality that we all turn into our parents. A film producer wakes up with a horse head in his bed; a man receives a parcel of fish; and the only woman with multiple lines realises she’s married into a life of crime. In this film, no one wins. Notable quote: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” .

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THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987) // In a sentence: Grandpa reads a surprisingly violent medieval romance novel to his grandson. A little more: The Princess Bride screened on television every Saturday night for 10 years, so if you’re trying to fudge your way through 1980s film knowledge, the basic gist is this: a grandfather comes over to read his sick grandson a sappy medieval romance novel, and he’s pleasantly surprised by the level of violent combat. The story centres on Buttercup (yes, that’s her legal name) and her old farm colleague/lover, Westley. The pair has been separated for five years – in which time Buttercup believed her “farm boy” to be dead – and now the very-much alive Westley has to save her from her abusive fiancé, Prince Humperdinck. After surviving 90 minutes’ worth of heavy-handed references to Zorro and multiple conversation-heavy duels, Westley claims Buttercup as his own, moments before she daggers herself in the chest, Juliet-style. Notable quote: “You killed my father. Prepare to die.” .

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STAR WARS (1977) // In a sentence: Desert boy with daddy issues embarks on intergalactic mission to rescue powerful princess and discover true self. A little more: The main thing you need to know about the original Star Wars film is that it’s theoretically part four in a never-ending series of prequels and sequels riddled with plot inconsistencies. In the 1977 instalment, A New Hope, a rebel warrior/princess called Leia sends a ‘help me’ message to her old pal Obi-Wan Kenobi when she’s taken hostage by baddies. The message comes via a robot droid that ends up in the hands of local foster kid, Luke. Obi tells Luke about ‘The Force’, a mystical energy field, and reveals that Luke’s dad was a cool soldier called a Jedi. Cue a series of space scenes, a large moaning dog-man, and lots of flashing lights. Leia lives, Obi dies, and Luke discovers The Force is within. (Plus the rebels kill some bad guys, but that’s sort of secondary.) Notable quote: “Use The Force, Luke.” .

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DO THE RIGHT THING (1989) // In a sentence: On a hot day in Brooklyn, everyone tells each other how they really feel. A little more: Do the Right Thing is a classic Spike Lee film that rarely screens on television, despite the fact it won all sorts of Academy Awards the year it was released. It takes place over a single day in a gentrifying borough of Brooklyn, and features a lot of people

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THE GODFATHER (1972) // In a sentence: In 1970s New York, a young man reluctantly takes the reins of his family’s dodgy

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popcorn Photo Universal Pictures

sitting on porch stoops and complaining about the heat. Tensions escalate when a guy called Buggin’ Out is like, “This is a black neighbourhood, why isn’t there a single African-American actor on this pizzeria’s wall of fame?” and the pizzeria owner, Sal, says, “Get your own damn wall.” Racist nonsense ensues, tension erupts into riots, and the police kill a man for no reason at all. Let’s just say there’s some political commentary. Notable quote: “I’ll be giving you all the help you need. Musically, that is.” .

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all began: with an ambiguous showdown in a diner. If anyone asks what you think is inside the briefcase, just nod and smile. Nothing’s inside the briefcase, people, it’s a film. Notable quote: “They call it a Royale with cheese.” .

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PLANET OF THE APES (1968) // In a sentence: Men in astronaut suits land on a planet occupied by smarter men in gorilla suits, and OMG the planet is actually Earth. A little more: In the future, Earth will be ruled by highly evolved apes, very few of whom are women. They’ll have most of the institutions we have now, including a sophisticated legal system, and former humans will be running free in the cornfields. That’s the main takeaway from Planet of the Apes. If you grew up watching The Simpsons, you’ve probably seen the musical version, which is about 20 times more interesting than the original film and gets to the point in a fraction of the time. At the end, one of the astronauts stumbles across the Statue of Liberty and gasps – this foreign place is Planet Earth and we were monkeys all along. Notable quote: “I can’t help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man.”

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MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN (1979) // In a sentence: An honest lad named Brian suffers through a lifetime of mistaken identity. A little more: What if the baby Jesus had a neighbour called Brian? And what if, on the night Jesus was born, three wise men turned up at Brian’s house instead? And what if, for the rest of Brian’s life, he was accidentally mistaken for the Messiah? A bunch of British comedians explore these questions and more in The Life of Brian! This film was banned in multiple countries because religious satire is Not Funny, OK, but it’s really just a relatable comedy about being mistaken for someone you’re not. Feign familiarity by talking in a shrill, nagging voice and/or pretending to haggle. Expect speech impediments, mass suicide, and that irritating song your dad used to sing when you were shitty: “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life”. Notable quote: “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!” .

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THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985) // In a sentence: Five teenagers navigate the ups and downs of puberty in the safety of their high school library. A little more: Life in the suburbs is tough, especially when it’s 1985 and there’s such a thing as Saturday detention. The Breakfast Club is the ultimate in family-friendly teen angst movies. A group of hormonal high school students spend a day locked inside their school, subverting their various stereotypes. The nerd is angry. The popular girl has low self-esteem. No one likes their parents, but everyone’s getting over it by the time the day wraps up. Every character’s relatable, so if you’re going to pretend you know this film, you need to know which kid you are. Most people, by the way, are Allison – the ‘freak’ who says nothing for the first half hour, but decorates her drawing with dandruff snowflakes. Notable quote: “Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.”

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PULP FICTION (1994) // In a sentence: Two chatty hitmen and their various associates fumble their way through life and crime. A little more: If you want to get your head around Pulp Fiction, forget about understanding the plot. Just know that the film is three hours of Quentin Tarantino’s obscure references punctuated with accidental murders, small talk, a really serious overuse of the word ‘fuck’, and a quest to deliver a briefcase to a man named Marsellus. The hitmen chat about French Quarter Pounders; John Travolta and Uma Thurman compete in a dance competition; Samuel L. Jackson delivers a biblical monologue; and the whole thing ends where it

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FRANCES CANNON x VICTORIAN WOMEN’S TRUST

This spring, we’ve collaborated with Melbourne based artist Frances Cannon to create a limited edition ethical tote bag that celebrates the beauty + power of friendship. Available in black or white, each bag supports the work of the Victorian Women’s Trust, Australia’s leading gender equality advocate. www.vwt.org.au

@VicWomensTrust

IMAGES: BREEANA DUNBAR PHOTOGRAPHY


around the house

homebodies jaret hogarth runs a vintage-filled chalet in hepburn springs, just out of melbourne. WORDS KOREN HELBIG PHOTOGRAPHS HILARY WALKER

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around the house

“They were right into retro and the ’70s, and I grew up around mirrored walls and Danish pieces. Dad was in the record industry – he recorded Marcia Hines and all that, so he’s got a lot of history. Mum had such an eye, too, so I copied what I was brought up with, I suppose.”

For years, Jaret Hogarth would peer through the windows each time he walked past, marvelling at the gaudy-yet-cool ’70s “pizza carpet” and odd bit of choice retro furniture. The place had loads of potential, he reckoned, though truth be told, it was quite a sorry sight. Having sat almost unused for more than a decade, this once-grand Mid-century-style chalet at Hepburn Springs, about 50km north-east of Melbourne, was a rundown mess. “You could snap the pillows, and the beds were so hard you could jump on them and they wouldn’t bounce – or you’d get a spring through your foot,” he says of the disarray.

The chalet itself is a bit of a mish-mash, with the original section built in 1909, followed by extensions in the ’70s and ’80s. “It’s all mock rock around the side of the building, fibreglass replicas of sandstone, so it’s very kitsch in that sense,” Jaret says. To avoid straying into daggy territory, he immediately cleared out most of the dowdy existing furniture, hanging onto a set of beautiful green velvet lounges and chairs, a chunky old 1940s pedestal fan, and, of course, that distinctive carpet. “It looks like one big pizza to me,” Jaret says. “It’s in really good condition, which is the great thing about no one having been in the building for so long.” The lounge room got a new lick of paint, transforming light-sapping maroon walls into an airier soft white, and the chalet’s 19 rooms got an elegant revamp, too.

Jaret definitely couldn’t afford to buy the building, but called the owner on a whim in 2014 and proposed a rental agreement. The idea received a resounding no; the property had literally just been put up for sale. Six months later, though, Jaret finally got his hands on the keys – with no buyers on the horizon, the owner decided he was keen on renting after all. “My jaw seriously dropped when I first walked in,” Jaret recalls. “It’s got a lot of character, with mirrors in the bar and old leather lounges. But it was all ’80s watercolours; really badly rundown and pretty ugly.”

Then Jaret lugged in pieces from his shop, and even his own house – things like original Danish chairs brought to Australia in the 1960s; sleek Parker furniture made in Sydney decades ago; and prints by Russian-born 1900s artist Vladimir Tretchikoff, famed for selling reproductions of his work in enormous quantities worldwide. Later, the chalet became the perfect excuse for Jaret to go barrelling around Victoria in his ute, trawling through op shops and antique auctions, hunting for just the right piece for this corner or that. “I love the guesthouse style, so I wanted to keep that era and feel. People walk in and go, ‘Oh, my grandmother had this.’ I’ve heard that thousands of times.”

Luckily, he was uniquely placed to give Hepburn Springs Chalet the facelift it so desperately needed. Once an editor for Channel 9’s Today brekkie program in Sydney – “I was up at 2.30 or 3 in the morning every day,” he says – Jaret decided to swap the city rush for a quieter life in 2006. Arriving in Hepburn Springs, he forged a new career feeding a passion likely ignited by his parents. At first, he ran a popular retro furniture stall at nearby Daylesford’s famed Mill Markets, then opened his own stand-alone retro shop. “This goes all the way back to my mum and dad, really,” he says.

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around the house

Five years on, with the chalet now jam-packed with countless eye-catching pieces, Jaret’s a touch sad that his grand treasure hunt – or “buying crap”, as some less charitable friends have called it – is largely over. “I still have that in me, where I’ll hunt through an op shop and find little bits and pieces,” he says. “I get in trouble for doing it. I’ve got so much stuff. There are about 50 prints leaning against each other in the cellar downstairs. It’s like, ‘Where are you going to put them all?’ But they could come in handy one day…” Jaret’s recently taken to collecting West German pottery, possibly because each piece is small enough to sneak in under the radar. His six-year-old daughter Jonnie Grace (named after American country music icon Johnny Cash) has picked up on the trend, though, and cleverly worked it to her advantage. “Every time I go to the markets she wants something, and I have a hard time convincing her not to buy anything when I’ve got two arms full of crap.”

dressing gowns and moccasins. It does make me laugh. I’m happy we’ve got the old-school side of it.”

Right from the beginning, Jaret decided to capitalise on his surroundings. Hepburn Springs may be small, but it’s a well-known resort town, plonked within a region boasting Australia’s largest concentration of healing mineral springs. Crowds of tourists come each year to chill out, fossick through the shops and restaurants in the slightly larger Daylesford, or go bushwalking and mountain biking in the nearby Macedon Ranges. Jumping on that day spa trend, Jaret figured he’d do something a little different by making his offering super-affordable. He initially installed a massage room, before knocking out one entire guest room three years ago and converting it into a double spa and massage area. “People just walk out in their dressing gown, go have a massage, then walk back and go to sleep,” he says. “Actually, there’ve been so many times I’ve gone into the dining room and people were there in

Proud as he is of the place, Jaret admits making a go of it hasn’t been easy. Living in Hepburn Springs can feel a bit isolated and small after the bright lights of Sydney. And he’s had to throw his all into the business, which hasn’t always been the best thing for his private life. “I’ve had two relationship breakdowns. I nearly went under financially a couple of times,” he admits. “When you’ve got a business like this, it’s 24/7. It’s consuming. It doesn’t stop. It’s like having another child, because you’re always on.” He loves scooting off to coastal Warrnambool every now and then to surf and just relax, and dreams of the day his chalet will run like a well-oiled machine, with or without him at the helm. “Sydney’s mental, and I probably wouldn’t move back there,” he says. “My goal is to have something here that runs itself, so I can retire but still be part of it and just enjoy the whole thing.”

His favourite room taps wholly into that old-timey vibe: a cosy lounge bar with a big pool table, a dart board battered by hundreds of rowdy games, and a fireplace that people love to congregate around. “You automatically want to sit down, read a book and have a glass of wine,” Jaret says. “I love that feeling.” He’s deliberately built small communal spaces throughout the chalet’s shared areas, in the hope of inspiring conversations between strangers. It apparently works – two couples who met there, one from Adelaide and the other from Melbourne, now come back each year to hang out together. “The old guesthouses were based on that. You’d never come and sit in your room. Nowadays, everyone just goes in, gets their iPad out, whacks on a movie. They want to lock themselves away and don’t want to be social. I love the fact that so many people have sat around here and met people. To me, that’s what it’s all about.”

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$$ $  $ $ '' 

OPENING ON SMITH ST, COLLINGWOOD

$  $ '  %%$ ' $ '  %  BOOK ONLINE:

corkandchroma.com.au

Artwork by Frank & Mimi


[ shop directory ]

SEAGRASS DESIGN

EMMA MORGAN

IN A SENTENCE: A super-vibrant, colourful, fun and creative space filled with original art, fashion and handmade homewares // WHAT WE SELL: Ethical clothing, handmade pottery, digital art and paintings // PRICE POINT: From $49 to $279 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: We design and make all our products here in Tasmania. We like to feel good about what we sell, so our priorities are creating pieces that are high quality, ethically made and fun // FIND US: Online at seagrassdesign.com.au or at the corner of York Street and Kingsway, Launceston, Tasmania

IN A SENTENCE: Drawings of animals – sometimes wearing jackets, sometimes covered in flowers // WHAT WE SELL: Fine art prints of animal friends, as well as cushions and tea towels featuring my animal drawings // PRICE POINT: From $5 for a card to around $500 for a giant A0 art reproduction // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: I’m very passionate about conservation, and hope to use my art powers to create more awareness for vulnerable wildlife // FIND US: Online at emmamorgan.com.au or visit Commonfolk Studios, 16 Progress Street, Mornington, Victoria

SCRATCH & JOTTER

ALIGHT GLASS

IN A SENTENCE: A curated collection of fine stationery and desk accessories for creative, organised workspaces // WHAT WE SELL: Finely crafted notebooks, writing instruments, filing and desk accessories, all designed to make your working environment a little more refined // PRICE POINT: From $6.50 to $135 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Our range includes a tasteful mix of textures and materials, and each product is selected for people who appreciate both the aesthetic and function of beautiful design // FIND US: Online at scratchandjotter.com.au

IN A SENTENCE: Beautiful handmade Australian glass products // WHAT WE SELL: Homewares, including glass art and bowls, as well as stud earrings and necklaces // PRICE POINT: From $29 for a pair of studs to $220 for ripple bowls (ideal for serving trifle to a family of four) // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: All our glass is produced right here in Canberra. Our designs are inspired by the liquid-like forms that molten glass freezes into when it’s cold. These patterns link to so many natural connections – everyone sees something different // FIND US: Online at alightglass.com

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[ shop directory ]

CIRKUS CHARM

DEIJI STUDIOS

IN A SENTENCE: Jewellery and accessories handmade in Perth, inspired by the art, design and architecture of Australia // WHAT WE SELL: Handmade clay stud earrings, hand-rolled clay bead necklaces, and hand-painted, laser-cut wooden earrings // PRICE POINT: From $7 to $32 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Every Cirkus Charm piece is carefully crafted to order here in Perth, and no two pieces are the same, as each is hand-rolled and shaped. Our collection has evolved to include a wide range of organic and geometric shapes, as well as pastel and accent colours // FIND US: Online at cirkuscharm.etsy.com

IN A SENTENCE: Bedding and sleepwear for you to enjoy your best night’s sleep yet // WHAT WE SELL: Beautiful two-tone linen bedding for adults, children and babies, as well as unique, Japanese-inspired loungewear // PRICE POINT: From $75 to $450 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Our linen, sourced from France, has been stonewashed for the highest comfort and quality. We work closely with a small family-run business in China, where all our goods are ethically sewn – this is super-important to us // FIND US: Online at deijistudios.com.au

S H O VAVA

L AV E N D E R & R O S E

IN A SENTENCE: A fashion label based in the hinterlands of Byron Bay, fusing hand-painted artworks with high-end materials and processes // WHAT WE SELL: Scarves, leggings, skirts, bikinis, tees, pants, kimonos and kaftans // PRICE POINT: From $38 to $170 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Our unique and thoughtful range expresses the beauty and power of transformation and becoming. We source the finest materials from around the world, and promote strong environmental and ethical standards // FIND US: Online at shovava.com

IN A SENTENCE: Candles and accessories to aromatically enhance your living and working spaces // WHAT WE SELL: Luxury scented candles, decorative candle holders, oil diffusers and other home fragrance essentials // PRICE POINT: Our candles and diffusers are generally between $30 and $40, depending on size and style // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Each candle is lovingly poured by hand, made from 100 per cent soy wax and blended with fine quality fragrance oils // FIND US: Online at lavenderandrose.com.au

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[ shop directory ]

HARRIET JANE DESIGNS

MAGGI MCDONALD ART & DESIGN

IN A SENTENCE: An eco women’s clothing label, celebrating the beauty of nature, highlighting its hues and trying to tread lightly // WHAT WE SELL: Comfortable and feminine clothes for ladies, including t-shirts, dresses, kimonos, kaftans, knickers, scarves and more // PRICE POINT: From $28 to $240 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: All our designs are printed with original nature photography. The range is ethically made in Australia from natural fibres, like silk, organic cotton, linen, modal, cashmere and bamboo // FIND US: Online at harrietjane.com.au

IN A SENTENCE: Artwork inspired by a love of nature, travel and the world around us // WHAT WE SELL: Original artworks, contemporary fine art prints and custom prints. I also do commissions, and can create something special for your space // PRICE POINT: From $49 to $1000 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: I offer statement pieces to suit a variety of interior styles. Each original artwork is created in my Sydney studio, and my print range is printed locally in Australia (and hand-signed by me, too!) // FIND US: Online at maggimcdonald.com

ENA

LITTLE LANE WORKSHOPS

IN A SENTENCE: A luxurious range of all-natural body care products that contain no nasty chemicals or synthetic fragrances // WHAT WE SELL: Body lotions, body oil, hand and foot treatments, shampoo and conditioner, hand wash, body wash and lip balms // PRICE POINT: From $11 to $40 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: All our products are as close to nature as possible, so they’re kind to both your body and the environment. We also use beautiful, uniquely designed packaging and the highest quality ingredients // FIND US: Online at enaproducts.com.au

IN A SENTENCE: A Sydney-based art, craft and lifestyle studio, providing a place for teachers to teach, students to learn and friends (both new and old) to connect // WHAT WE SELL: Art, craft and lifestyle classes, covering everything from macramé to meditation, photography to resin art // PRICE POINT: Workshops start from $55 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Everyone is welcome and we make it our mission for you to leave feeling like you’ve filled your bucket // FIND US: Online at littlelaneworkshops.com.au or visit Studio 4102, 4 Daydream Street, Warriewood, Sydney

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[ shop directory ]

WA N D E R E R S T R AV E L C O .

G OL DE N PA L M DE S IG N + S TAT IO N E RY

IN A SENTENCE: A design studio located in the foothills of Wollongong selling sweet and colourful paper goods // WHAT WE SELL: Paper products with a good energy, including greeting cards, postcards and art prints // PRICE POINT: From $7 for greeting cards and postcards to $28 for prints // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: The Golden Palm aesthetic is clean, elegant, minimalist and symmetrical with a strong use of colour, echoing retro styles. All our paper goods are designed to be keepsakes, expressing love in all its forms // FIND US: Online at instagram.com/goldenpalmdesign

IN A SENTENCE: Beautiful and functional leather goods for travel and everyday use, featuring super-soft full-grain leather and classic designs // WHAT WE SELL: Leather travel goods, bags, wallets, clutches, duffels, jackets and – coming very soon – suitcases // PRICE POINT: From $39 to $539 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: All our designs are inspired by our love of travel and wide-eyed wonder at this world we occupy, the people we meet, distant lands, varied landscapes and the rich history of the places we wander // FIND US: Online at wandererstravelco.com

MYRRA JEWELRY

O F T H E VA L L E Y C R A F T

IN A SENTENCE: Unique and versatile fine jewellery for both women and men // WHAT WE SELL: Necklaces, bracelets, rings and earrings. We have several collections, including [Codé AMOUR], which features pieces emblazoned with secret coded messages for your special person // PRICE POINT: From $55 to $500 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Aside from offering style and sophistication, there’s deep symbolism behind each piece. Our range also offers wearers tonnes of possibilities to create their own mixand-match combinations // FIND US: Online at myrrajewelry.com

IN A SENTENCE: Hand-embroidered hoops, embroidery kits, embroidered felt patches and upcycled clothes, all made in Adelaide // WHAT WE SELL: A variety of hand-embroidered pieces to wear, make, or put straight up on your wall // PRICE POINT: From $15 to $160 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Many, many hours, fuelled by many, many cups of tea, go into each and every piece – it’s a labour of love. We also aim to show that secondhand clothes can be made into something beautiful // FIND US: Online at ofthevalleycraft.etsy.com

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[ shop directory ]

ARTISANS.GLOBAL

M Y FAV O U R I T E A P R O N C O M PA N Y

IN A SENTENCE: An eclectic online space with a calm and minimal aesthetic, showcasing goods from artists, designers and craftspeople all around the world // WHAT WE SELL: Clothing, accessories, homewares, art and gifts for blokes, ladies and kids, too // PRICE POINT: From $19.95 to $500 and above // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: We’re a bilingual store, created by a Japanese/Australian husband-and-wife team. We travel far and wide with our two young children to continuously source new artisans to add to our mix // FIND US: Online at artisans.global

IN A SENTENCE: Handmade, one-of-a-kind aprons for cooks, crafters, baristas, bakers, gardeners, teachers, carers, potters, painters and more // WHAT WE SELL: Aprons for all ages and genders. Each has its own name, is individually labelled and adjustable in size // PRICE POINT: From $25 for a kid’s apron to $45 for a gift set // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: my favourite apron company is a one-woman creative business, inspired by the men and women of Tibet, who wear functional yet beautiful aprons // FIND US: Online at myfavouriteapronco.etsy.com

STEM ORGANICS

LIZZIE SLATTERY JEWELLERY

IN A SENTENCE: Natural, vegan-friendly and organic skincare products for every skin type, ethically made in Australia // WHAT WE SELL: Our range includes cleansers, exfoliators, toners, treatments, serums, moisturisers, travel sets and more // PRICE POINT: From $15 to $70 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: We take a natural approach to skincare. Many of our products contain only three essential ingredients: pomegranate, Australian Kakadu plum and aloe // FIND US: Online at stemorganics.com or visit 11 Blackwood Drive, Altona North, Victoria

IN A SENTENCE: Playful and whimsical sterling silver jewellery, designed and carved by hand in our Melbourne studio // WHAT WE SELL: Necklaces, rings, studs, bracelets and custom pieces, featuring organic sterling silver shapes and unique free-form textures // PRICE POINT: From $40 to $225 // WHAT MAKES THE SHOP SPECIAL: Our collection is inspired by the shape, character and surface texture of a vast array of natural creations, from flora and fauna to raw crystals and metals in their natural form // FIND US: Online at lizzieslattery.com

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hands on

art and about MONTREAL-BASED ARTIST CLUCA TELLS US A LITTLE ABOUT HER RETRO-TINGED PAINTING. This painting is part of a series of swimmers that began with a photograph I found at a flea market in Hamburg. This particular image, though, was stuck to my friend’s fridge door – I loved it, took a photo, then, while painting it, I transformed the people and gave the heroine a mask and bunny hat. It was made with oil sticks on paper. I chose this medium because of the texture I can get by mixing the sticks with my fingers; an interpretation of flesh and skin colours. The piece is about people enjoying time together, having fun and simply being happy. There’s no date to it – it passes through generations and history, and I want people to view it through their own stories and memories.

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rant

if my search bar could talk

how dedicated I am to locating baby photos of Ryan Reynolds). There’s an uncensored relationship between my brain and the search bar. It’s a more intimate connection than I have with any human being. My relationship with my search bar is more intimate than the relationship I have with my mother, and I lived inside her. So, what would happen if my search bar became sentient? What if it could talk? What if it were – dare I say it – a friend?

MIA TIMPANO HAS DEVELOPED A RATHER CHUMMY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER WEB BROWSER.

In some respects, I already feel like it is a friend, and a nonjudgmental one at that. Should I jump on my preferred porn site and click in its search bar, it’ll suggest some keywords based on my previous searches. I feel like this search bar is winking at me, as if to say, “Is this what you’re into?” And I feel like replying, “Yes! Thank you! You know me so well.” Sure, it only knows what I’ve told it, but what I’ve told it is, well, the truth. I’ve told porn search engines more about what I like sexually than all my sexual partners. Combined. In an ideal world, I would come out and detail all my sexual kinks and curiosities to a partner, so we could act on them and have an amazing time together (we’d have to build some elaborate furniture, and/or break into certain facilities, but I’m sure it could be done). Sadly, however, I’ve never felt like I could ‘say anything’ to a partner. Am I afraid of being judged? Possibly. But more likely, I think, there are some things I just want to keep private.

I lived in an age before broadband. For the duration of my teens and early 20s, I, like most people, had to ‘dial up’ the internet, which took around a minute and frequently failed. Once I was on the internet, everything took hours to load (I recall blocking out a full morning to send an important email), and if I wanted to hear my favourite song, I was lucky if I was able to download it as a MIDI file. You see, there wasn’t so much on the internet. Now, if you want to know anything, you can. It takes seconds. Or less. One second and you can settle in to watch any porn you want (I assume – I haven’t searched for all of it).

The internet knows everything I have viewed, but the search bar knows everything I’m actively curious about, which is why I think, if it were to be sentient (and who knows, give it a few years and maybe it will be), it would be a kind of ultimate friend. You can confide in it, the way you would a priest; you can ask for anything you want and it will make it instantly appear, just like a genie; and it doesn’t limit you, or ask for anything in return, unlike human beings. It cannot provide warmth or actually give a shit about you – only a truly living thing can do that – and it won’t prevent you from emotionally drowning in whatever it provides, but it will be as benevolent or malicious as you make it. Because the search bar is you. Which makes me mostly Ryan Reynolds.

There is nothing stopping me from searching for anything that comes into my head – not time, not resources, not the concern that anyone’s going to find out (even though I assume they could, I figure the government and law enforcement agencies have better things to do than go through my search history and find out just

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exoticsbikinis.com @exoticsbikinis


pots and pans

totally hooked foodie lady julia busuttil nishimura shares her grandmother’s recipe for aljotta – or fish soup.

I only know it’s my grandmother’s soup because, when my mother taught me how to make it, every instruction would be prefaced with, “Well, my mum would...” I wish I’d eaten my grandmother’s soup as made by her, but it wasn’t to be. Some details remain a little fuzzy – since she couldn’t write, the recipe was never formally recorded. My mum recounts just observing my grandmother in the kitchen blanching the tomatoes, making the broth, separating the meat from the bones. But I suppose that’s what’s so wonderful about food and memories: as a recipe changes hands and trickles down to the next generation, details blur and each maker is encouraged to use their own instincts and tastes. I’ve adapted this popular Maltese soup somewhat and made the stock separately, to avoid swallowing small bones. My mum suggested I reserve the meat from the fish I used to make the stock and add it in at the end, because fish cooked on the bone is more giving of flavour a wonderful piece of advice. I hope you make this recipe your own, too.

INGREDIENTS 500g roma tomatoes 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 1 onion, finely chopped 8 garlic cloves, finely chopped sea salt 1.2 litres of homemade fish stock, plus any reserved meat from making the stock 125g medium-grain rice 350g skinless snapper fillets, cut into 3cm pieces large handful of mint leaves, finely chopped large handful of flat-leaf parsley leaves, finely chopped black pepper lemon wedges, to serve

HOW TO Score a cross in the base of each tomato using a sharp knife. Place in a saucepan or large heatproof bowl and cover with boiling water. Set aside for 5 minutes, then drain the tomatoes and remove the skins. Remove any tough stems from the insides of the tomatoes and roughly chop the flesh. Set aside. In a large saucepan, heat the olive oil over a low-medium heat; add the onion, garlic and a pinch of salt; and sauté for 10 minutes, or until soft and translucent. Add the tomatoes and any juice to the pot and simmer for 2 to 3 minutes to amalgamate the aromatics and tomatoes. Add the stock and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rice and cook for 8 to 10 minutes until al dente.

Julia’s book OSTRO is out now through Plum. As a special treat, we have five copies (worth $44.99 each) to give away, so head to frankie.com.au/win to enter. Recipe has been tweaked a little to fit frankie formatting.

Next, add the fish and continue to simmer for 3 to 4 minutes, or until it’s just cooked through. Stir in most of the mint and parsley, reserving some for serving, as well as any reserved meat from making the fish stock (if there is any). Season with salt and pepper and serve sprinkled with the remaining herbs, with wedges of lemon alongside. Serves 4-6

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mantelpiece

hello dolly SOPHIA CAI HAS A RATHER LARGE COLLECTION OF BLYTHE DOLLS. Like many others in the Blythe doll community, I first encountered the dolls online through image-sharing forums and blogs. I remember being immediately drawn to them, and I had to find out more. When I graduated high school, my mum took me on my first trip to Hong Kong and I saw Blythe dolls for sale there in hobby shops – it was the first time I’d ever seen them in person. I vowed to only get one, but, as you can predict, that didn’t last long. My first Blythe doll was named ‘Mod Molly’. She came in a groovy ’60s-inspired outfit and had straight orange hair. That was nearly 10 years ago, and she later went to live with my grandmother in China. I stopped counting my dolls once I had about 30. I still have some brand new in their boxes, so I don’t consider them part of the ‘official’ count. During my years collecting, I’ve also sold and traded many dolls – I would guess that an additional 50 have passed through my hands at some stage. Blythe dolls aren’t sold in physical stores in Australia, or if they are, they’re marked up a lot from their retail price. I’ve bought almost all my dolls online from eBay, Blythe doll forums, or from toy shops based in Asia. I have a number of vintage dolls from the 1970s, but most of my collection is new Japanese releases. The vintage dolls are quite rare and expensive. After such a long time, some do show the wear of age, such as faded make-up or missing hair plugs. They’re often restored by Blythe customisers, giving their hair defrizzing treatments, painting on new make-up and fixing their eye chips. I’m very lucky to live with a supportive partner who lets me display my dolls at home. They’re housed together in a glass display cabinet, and I keep their clothes and accessories in organised boxes nearby. I can understand that some people find them creepy – there are some dolls that I find creepy, too! One particular aspect of Blythe dolls that can creep people out is their changing eye mechanism. Each doll has a pull ring at the back that you use to change between four different eye colours and directions. Blythe dolls are such a significant part of my life and who I am today. Through Blythe dolls and the online community I’ve made so many wonderful friends all around the world. I’ve attended international meet-ups, and befriended people who I might not have otherwise met. One of my fondest memories is going to my first international Blythe convention (Blythecon) in Amsterdam in 2014. I’m very happy with my collection, and I don’t think I’ll be adding any more in the near future. That being said, I still drop by op shops whenever I can and look through the dolls there, just in case I find a vintage Blythe… It’s every Blythe collector’s dream!

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something to say Photo Roza

and filtered water – maybe even carbonated water if they’re a bit fancy. Let’s admit it: the café is sponsoring your freelance career.

the coffee shop office

Many times I’ve headed to a popular coffee spot to work over a brew. I’d be happily tapping away, only mildly conscious of the fact that I’m a loud, heavy-handed typist. The tables around me would be filled with people tapping away as well, albeit more delicately. Everything would feel good, my work would be ticking over, I’d be warm and caffeinated. Then I’d reach to pick up my coffee, only to realise I was almost at the bottom of the cup. I’d over-enthusiastically sculled it, just 10 minutes into my work. When the waiter came over to clear the mug, I’d say, “Oh no, I’m still going,” and they’d give me that look. The one that says, Oh really? Seriously, dude, you’re fucking Mother Teresa if you can nurse that much coffee any longer. Cheapskate. I’d smile my I’m just a writer, man smile and keep banging away, my eyes locking ever tighter with my screen.

THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS CARO COOPER LIKES ABOUT WORKING FROM CAFÉS. GUILT ISN’T ONE OF THEM.

Enter any inner-urban café on a weekday and you’ll find tables covered with laptops, piles of notes and writing pads; power cables running across the floor; and, always, people staring at their screens. Sometimes too intently. They’re not staring that hard because they’re solving complex problems. Those deep looks of concentration are a stalling tactic – they’re trying to avoid the eyes of the waitstaff who are pacing around the low-return tables of freeloaders/freelancers. I should know; I’m often one of these people glued to my filthy laptop, near-empty coffee beside me, and no desire to give up my seat for the waiting masses until I’ve finished my work.

This is where I, and those like me, have to make a choice: do we order another coffee – a coffee we don’t actually want, and certainly don’t need – or do we continue to nurse the dregs until the shame weighs us down to the point where we can no longer concentrate? I love coffee, but if I have two in close succession, my heart starts to claw its way up my throat; my jaw flits from side to side, grinding away what’s left of my teeth; and my fingers move across the keyboard with halting jerks, all of which makes me look like a parody of a classical pianist. I could order tea, but ordering tea at a café feels like paying someone to switch on the kettle for me. I could tip the waitstaff and develop a relationship with them. Over time they’d learn to leave me alone because they know I tip, but I have the kind of face that’s forgettable, and with the rate of staff turnover, it’s not a sustainable approach. So, like most of my fellow café-perched workers, I do what I do best: lock eyes with my screen and avoid all contact. I bury my head in the sand and keep my death grip on that single coffee cup, lest it be cleared away and I am forced to leave. Alternatively, I could just work at home in my pyjamas with a pot of coffee and no pacing waiters, but that’s not the dream I was sold.

It’s the modern dream: whiling away the days in the comfort of a café, rather than a fluoro-lit, ergonomically sound office. But there’s an underlying tension in this fantasy lifestyle. It’s the kind of tension that pulls your shoulders up to your ears and exacerbates your computer-age dowager’s hump. It’s the tension of knowing you’re kind of ripping the café off, and they know it, and they’re staring at you to tell you how deeply they know it. The other people waiting for a table know it, too. Everyone knows that you’re paying four dollars for a coffee, and in exchange you’re getting coffee, heating, wi-fi, several square metres of prime real estate

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nine to five Photo Leanne Dixon

in snowstorms in January, watching dirt being stripped off the site in the middle of a field. I love the thrill of discovery and learning, and knowing you’re contributing to the preservation of the heritage and history of a country, but the truth is, it’s not always wonderful.

my job SARAH BARROWMAN IS AN ARCHAEOLOGIST-CUM-MILLINER.

After eight or nine years, the physical demands of the job started taking their toll on my knees. I thought I’d bow out while I still could, without any permanent damage, because I had colleagues who’d come out worse for wear. I took a voluntary redundancy and tried to figure out what else I could do with my life. I’d been performing cabaret, doing some acting and getting involved with the creative side of life – all a lot more feminine than my day job digging in trenches – and found myself thinking about millinery. I have an ever-growing vintage hat collection and costume-making skills from years of cabaret performance. The more I looked into it, the more I was like, “Yeah, that could be fun.” So I went off and did some short courses at the London College of Fashion, and instantly fell in love.

Interview Rebecca Douglas

When I was three or four and living in Adelaide, I was obsessed with dinosaurs. I knew how to say the dinosaur names, and had loads of books. As I got a bit older, school projects on Egypt really struck a chord with me, and I moved away from dinosaurs to people. It started as, “I’m going to be a palaeontologist,” then became, “I’m going to be an archaeologist with palaeontology as plan B.” (Much to the frustration of my doubtful high school teachers.)

I love the creative side of millinery. There’s something very satisfying about sitting around sewing, coming up with ideas and making it come to life in a 3D piece you can wear. I make very vintage-inspired work for my line, Miss Ava’s Millinery – so, ’40s through to ’60s. I love a good pillbox hat, and perch styles, and I do a few that are more Art Deco-inspired and feature Egyptian scorpions and skulls, as well. I aspire for my work to still be worn in decades to come, and for people to feel good wearing it. It’s the most wonderful feeling when you see someone in one of your designs! Each piece is handcrafted by me in my London studio, so I’m really honoured when someone chooses to wear it, or trusts me to create their dream hat.

There are two different sides to archaeology, which is essentially the study of people. You’ve got the research, which is very meticulous – the cliché of digging with a little brush. I did a bit of that in Australia. But most of what I’ve worked on is known as commercial archaeology, related to construction. So, instead of a brush, you have a pick or shovel. It’s physical, heavy labour – you spend a lot of time shifting dirt. The London Olympics site was my biggest project. We looked at the history of the area; what had been found locally there; what might still be found; the below-ground impact of the proposed infrastructure; the soil layers and geology, and so on. Basically, we’d excavate each site before construction began, build up a massive picture of what the area was like, and preserve it all through records before it was lost.

I’ve recently returned to archaeology as a consultant – a mostly office-based role providing advice and guidance on managing archaeological projects. I’ve been doing it since February, balancing that with my millinery. It’s nice to flex that part of my brain again, especially as it’s a field I got into for the love of it. One day, though, when I have more financial security, I’d love to take the plunge and become a full-time milliner again.

I knew London was where I had to end up – there’s not a lot of Roman archaeology back in Australia, sadly. But it’s a tough lifestyle. You don’t stop for winter over here, as I naively thought. So I’ve been out

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Philip Pullman’s long awaited trilogy The Book of Dust starts here with La Belle Sauvage

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@ @penguinteenaus i t


learn something new Illustration Ashley Ronning

cockroach races. For 36 years, Brisbane’s Story Bridge Hotel has raced the insects on a circular track, with punters asked to buy a roach, or BYO if they reckon they’re onto a winner. Released from an upturned bucket, the critters scamper towards freedom – the first across the track’s edge wins their ‘owner’ a medal and beer voucher.

stranger wins SOME VERY ODD COMPETITIONS FROM AROUND THE WORLD.

WORLD’S UGLIEST DOG CONTEST Permanently protruding tongues, patchy fur and excess skin will all have your dog in the running to win this (rather unflattering) annual prize. Part of the SonomaMarin Fair in Petaluma, California, the event gives not-so-beautiful rescued pooches a chance to prove they’re worthy of adoption, too, via a Red Carpet Walk, Fashion Faux Paw Show, and other goingson that show off their lovable side.

Words Sophie Kalagas

WIFE CARRYING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP Despite setting the women’s lib movement back a century or so, the Wife Carrying World Championship has been held annually in Finland since 1992. Male competitors race across gruelling, obstacle-filled terrain with a female teammate slung over their shoulders – inexplicably harking back to the days when women were pillaged from nearby villages.

AIR GUITAR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP There’s no point squandering your air guitar skills on booze-soaked friends at a karaoke bar, when you could be putting them to good use at the official Air Guitar World Championship. Held annually in Oulu, Finland, with more than 20 countries taking part (New Zealand, Australia and Russia among them), contestants have 60 seconds to wow the judges with their technical merit, ‘mimemanship’ and stage presence.

WORLD WORM CHARMING CHAMPIONSHIP Ever heard of worm charming? It’s a little-known practice whereby earthworms are coaxed from the soil using underground tremors. Though usually reserved for gathering fishing bait, the English village of Willaston turned the technique into a sport in 1980 – since then, folks have come from far and wide each June to cajole as many worms as they can to the surface. (The current world record sits at 567 worms in 30 minutes.)

NAKI SUMO BABY CRYING CONTEST Most parents try everything to make their babies stop crying, but each year in Japan, a bunch of sumo wrestlers do the opposite. Inspired by an old proverb – Naku ko wa sodatsu, or ‘crying babies grow fast’ – the 400-year-old event is thought to encourage healthy growth in tiny tots, as well as scaring off evil spirits (and probably a lot of bystanders). Tactics to make the infants wail include tickling, donning weird masks and shouting, “CRY! CRY! CRY!” until they obey.

MR ELDERLY BEAUTY CONTEST In Sao Paulo, Brazil, it’s wizened older men who you’ll find strutting their stuff in satin sashes, all in the name of the Mr Elderly Beauty Pageant. Organised by a local geriatric clinic with the aim of boosting seniors’ self-esteem, contestants don their sharpest suits and compete for titles like ‘Most Handsome Elderly Man’, ‘Mr Smiles’ and ‘Mr Timidity’.

EXTREME IRONING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP In 2002, the first ever Extreme Ironing event saw a dull domestic duty taken to some pretty thrilling places. (More thrilling than your spare bedroom, anyway.) An ironing board, steam iron and a pile of wrinkled shirts were set up in arduous environments – like a fast-flowing river or the top of a tree – and contestants were judged on their ability to deliver crease-free garments in a variety of fabrics.

COCKROACH RACES Ah, Australia. The lucky country, where we’re free to frolic on white, sandy beaches and conduct annual summer

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Profile for Frankie Tjoeng

2017 november/december frankie magazine  

frankie Magazine Looking for a mag that’s as smart, funny, sarcastic, friendly, cute, rude, arty and curious as you are? Subscribe to franki...

2017 november/december frankie magazine  

frankie Magazine Looking for a mag that’s as smart, funny, sarcastic, friendly, cute, rude, arty and curious as you are? Subscribe to franki...

Profile for tjoeng