Inside This Month :Kids Competition Valentineâ€™s Day The Things We Say Processionarial Caterpillars Alternative Therapies - Meditation Letters Page Puzzles, Jokes & Things To Make You Smile......Plus so much more.
IN EL CAMPELLO Enjoy the health benefits of MPS today
massages all the body with jade rollers and far-infrared rays
The far-infrared rays penetrate the body simulating oriental acupuncture, moxibustion therapy and acupressure. Relieve pains and improve blood circulation from head to toe.
We also have a weight loss machine and far-infrared sauna C/ Ruperto Chapi, 3 (Corner San Bartolom€) Tel & Fax 965 63 52 26
Mellow Creations Websites, Menus, Leaflets, Brochures, Ad Design If you don’t have a website working for you then you are missing the best means of advertising there is. We can help with all your design needs, from a simple flyer, through brochures and on to an advanced website design service to promote your business. No job is too small or too large, and we pride ourselves in offering value for money. So call us or see our website to discover more about how we could be helping you and your business.
647 597 319 or 600 718 805
Visit us online where you will find all the regular features plus a four day weather forecast, local, national & international news and a monthly “what’s on” guide - www.themellowmagazine.com For information about advertising rates please see our website or call us. Telephone 647 597 319 or 600 718 805 Web Site Email
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The Mellow Magazine does not accept any responsibility for alterations to listings/timetables, claims made by our advertisers or for any of the information supplied by contributors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without our prior written consent.
Hazel welcomes customers old and new Best selection, price and location
Supermarket A fine selection of top named brand English foods
Ample Free Parking Red Gas Bottles Now Available 12€ We Are Stockists Of Bookworld Espa•a
Simply British El Campello
Simply the best Rio
N 332 Seco
Cornish Pride Pukka Pies Greetings Cards
English Speaking Club
Mon - Fri Sat
9 .30 - 6 10 - 4
Tel: 965 654 005
From The Editor Hello and welcome to the February edition. The feedback we have received about the magazine has been wonderful and has exceeded all our expectations. This month is an extended magazine with four extra pages. There are twice as many puzzles, an article on Valentine’s Day and the first part of a new series about The Things We Say, written by our guest writer Robert Littler. There is a children’s competition this month as well so get all your little ones (under 16s) drawing and painting for us - the winning picture will be the front cover for the April edition and also there are Easter eggs to be won. See page 5 for details. February is also ’Carnaval’ month so anyone who takes pictures of any ‘Carnaval’ events are welcome to send in their snaps and we’ll try to include as many as possible onto the Mellow Magazine website for all to see. Do make sure they are sent as JPEG and are not too large to be downloaded in a reasonable time. Read about our local resident Alan Price and his award for loyalty to Valor Chocolater„a. We are getting a great response to our website and the number of hits we get is growing daily so if you haven’t seen it yet do take a look. Keep your letters and ideas coming to us - it’s the only way we can improve our magazine to give you just what you want. A few Spanish sayings have been incorporated into the Valentine’s Day article. We hope to bring you something in Spanish each month. Many people did not know of the train derailment that happened in El Campello on the morning of December 29th - Jeremy was there with his camera and there are photographs on the website. Due to limited space we will not be printing a list of National Holidays every month but we will try to keep you informed by including forthcoming fiestas in each magazine. Finally, thanks to everyone for their continuing support - family, friends and of course our advertisers. Lorraine.......x 3
El Campello Local Information Emergency Locksmith (24 hr callout) Casa de Cultura Post Office (Correos) Library Adult Education Centre Suma Office Iberdrola (Electricity) Aguas de Alicante (Water) Telefonica (client attention) Town hall Taxis Fire Police Guardia Civil Polic€a Local All Emergencies Health Centre Hospital San Juan Hospital Marina Baixa (Villajoyosa) Tourist Information British Consulate Transport Railway Station (Estaci•n Ferrocarril) Alicante Airport Renfe ( Railway Station, Alicante) Alicante Bus Station Alsa (National Coaches in Spain) Schools Pla de Barraques El Vincle Rafael Altamira Clot L’illot Enric Valor Lost UK Credit Cards Halifax 00448457203099 Abbey 00441908237963 Natwest 00441423700545
660931890 965636491 965630318 965632124 965632927 965636255 / 965636193 965632067 / 901202020 965637248 / 900717717 1004 965637200 965101611 / 965101029 080 965630418 / 062 965637099 / 965634444 112 965637106 / 08 965938700 966859800 965634606 965216022 965262731 966919000 902240202 965130700 902422242 965631601 965632790 965630142 965632854 965636455 LloydsTSB Barclays
Forthcoming Fiestas February 14th St. Valentine’s Day February 19th Carnaval March 19th San Josƒ, Valencia Fallas Fiesta, Spanish Father’s Day April 5th Easter Thursday April 6th Good Friday April 9th Easter Monday (Regional Holiday) 4
Kids Competition This month we have an art competition for children under 16. On an A5 piece of paper (21cm high x 14.85cm) we’d like you to design and colour an Easter card. Make sure that you put your name and age on the back of your picture, NOT on the front. We also need you to put the name of your mum or dad and their telephone number so that we can call them if you win. There will be three age groups for the competition and the winner of each group will win an Easter egg, kindly donated by Simply British Supermarket. The age groups are as follows: Under 7 years of age; Under 12 years of age and under 16 years of age. All three winners will have their entries displayed on the magazine’s website but one overall winner will also be chosen and that person will have their design printed as the front cover of The Mellow Magazine in April, so come on all you children out there, get those art boxes out and start drawing, painting and colouring. Entries can be taken to Simply British on the N332 between El Campello and the traffic lights at La Font or alternatively drop off your pictures at C.J’s Bar/ Restaurant along the seafront. You can also post your pictures to J. Smith, Carrer San Vicente 78, 4… 2…, El Campello, 03560, Alicante. The judges will be totally independent of the magazine. We are sorry but we will not be able to return entries so please make sure you keep a copy for yourself. Closing date for entries is Friday 2nd March. Winners will be notified by telephone no later than March 16th.
GUAPAS - Fashion in Plus Sizes
Situated in San Juan town next to the entrance to the Consum supermarket car park in C. Doctor Ivorra.
Wrought Iron (manufacturer) Specialist in Security Grills All types of groundwork including Patios & Balustrades. Free Quotations on Request
Jeans/casual, smart and party clothes for the larger lady in sizes 44-66 (UK 14-36), for young and more mature. We speak English. Call 639 692 985 for directions.
Fractions - Algebra - Trigonometry
Do you or your children find Maths a Struggle? Friendly and sympathetic one-to-one help from an experienced tutor can make all the difference.
664 151 630
The Mellow Magazine does not accept any responsibility for alterations to listings/timetables, claims made by our advertisers or for any of the information supplied by contributors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without our prior written consent.
Call me on 647 597 319 Jeremy Smith BSc
Valentine’s Day Here we are already in February with mince pies and turkey just a distant memory. But no matter whether you are young or old this is the month of love and romance. February 14th is the day when loved ones send to each other chocolates, flowers, cards and cuddly toys. Statistics show that in 2003 Britons sent 78 million text messages on Valentine’s day - an increase of 37% on the previous year and this was six times more than traditional cards. Roses, traditionally given for love are one of the oldest flowers in the world. Fossils of roses dating back several million years have been discovered. Did you know that lovesickness is an actual recognised medical condition? Its correct name is Erotopathology. Symptoms range from rapid heartbeat to hallucinations. Love spoons, from Wales, were carved from wood and given as gifts on February 14th. Favourite decorations on the spoons were hearts, keys and keyholes and the decoration meant, "You unlock my heart!" In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would attach these names to their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling. Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire. It is also said that should you cut in half an apple in half the number of pips that you find denotes the number of children you will have. But how do you feel if you are single - divorced, widowed or simply between partners right now? Is this just an excuse for the shops to make us spend money, another time of commercialisation like Christmas? It can be a difficult day for those of us who are alone but we can still get the same ‘feel good’ feeling regardless of having a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend by going out and doing something good for a friend or neighbour. That itself is an act of love and care. Who needs cards and chocolates anyway!
For those of you who wish to send a Valentine’s card to your loved one , why not add a compliment or two in Spanish. Here we list a few for you to choose from, along with their English equivalent should you need it. Eres un †ngel que se escap‡ del cielo para venir a la Tierra a robar mi coraz‡n. You are an angel escaped from the sky to come to Earth to steal my heart. Quisiera ser una l†grima, para nacer en tus ojos y morir en tu boca. I’d like to be a tear, to be born in your eyes and to die on your mouth. Ser esclavo de tu amor, es tener como prision el Para„so. To be a slave of your love is like prison in Heaven. Me gustar„a ser caramelo para disolverme en tu boca. I’d like to be a sweet and dissolve myself in your mouth. Hoy dormir†s con los †ngeles y soˆar†s conmigo pero un d„a dormir†s conmigo y soˆar†s con los †ngeles. Today you will sleep with the angels and dream with me but one day you will sleep with me and dream with the angels.
Continuing on a similar theme of Spanish phrases we also bring you the Spanish equivalent of some English phrases. El hambre es la mejor salsa. Hunger is the best sauce. Una tormenta en un vaso de agua. A storm in a teacup (actually translates as a storm in a glass of water). M†s vale tarde que nunca. Better late than never. Mucho ruido y pocas nueces. Much ado about nothing (actual translation is lots of noise and little nuts). Ojos que no ven, coraz‡n que no siente. What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve. Entre la espada y la pared. Between the devil and the deep blue sea (translates as between the sword and the wall). And finally........ Trece y martes ni te cases ni te embarques. On Tuesday 13th,of which we have in February, don’t get married and don’t travel. In Spain, Tuesday 13th is considered bad luck whereas in the UK it is Friday 13th. 7
A prayer for the stressed Grant me the serenity to accept the Things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I Cannot accept And the wisdom to hide the bodies Of those I had to kill today Because they got on my nerves. Also, help me to be careful of the Toes that I step on today As they may be connected to the Feet that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me always to give 100% at Work.............. 12% on Monday 23% on Tuesday 40% on Wednesday 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday And help me to remember..... When Iâ€™m having a bad day and it Seems that people are trying to Wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to Frown, 28 to smile but only 4 to Extend my arm and smack Someone in the mouth! 8
Local Translator / Interpreter Personal and business, meetings, phone calls, visits, letters, documents.... Help with N.I.E / residency, Notaries, schools, doctors, property, police and paperwork. Reasonable rates, no obligation, just ask. Call Mark on 639-692985
A4 ~ KABS We offer a reliable & friendly service Please call Clint
686 313 777
Recipe of the month Our recipe this month is very simple to do and is supplied by Angela from El Campello. We are still looking for people to tell us their own favourite recipes so dig out those cookery books and send us an email.
Chicken with lemon & garlic Ingredients 2 skinless chicken breast fillets 30ml/2 tbsp olive oil 1 shallot, finely chopped 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped 5ml/1 tsp paprika Juice of 1 lemon 30ml/2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley Salt & ground black pepper Fresh flat leaf parsley for garnishing Lemon wedges for serving Slice the chicken fillets into thin strips (about the width of a finger). Heat the oil in a large frying pan and then stir fry the chicken strips with the shallot, garlic and paprika over a high heat for about 3 minutes until thoroughly cooked. Add the lemon juice and parsley. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot with lemon wedges and garnished with flat leaf parsley
HECTORâ€™s GRILLS Partyâ€™s 4 Kids 1st for fun in Costa Blanca
618 498 520
Security grills, garden gates and arches hand made and installed by Lee & Hector. All metals are galvanised and heat painted. Phone: 606 397 309 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org 9
EspaÄa Viva Tel : 965 639 162 Lovely sea views. Seating inside and out. Watch Sky Sports / Premiership Bingo - Wednesdays 8.30pm Quiz night - Fridays 8.30pm Sunday lunches available 12.30 - 7pm 3 courses for only 10€ Bring this advert to claim a free glass of wine
Venta LaNuza Apts. No.2, C/ D’altea, Cala Lanuza, El Campello
Beautiful Homes Locksmith 24 hr Emergency Callout We offer a free security review with no obligation.
A "Survival" Course in Spanish for all ages and nationalities, designed and taught by PAUL AINSWORTH, B.A., P.G.C.E., C.T.E.F.L.A. Paul has been studying and teaching Spanish for the best part of 30 years. Call Paul today for a chat about your requirements ~ It’s never too late to learn! Tel : 666 677 742 Email : email@example.com
Fire safety advice also given by an ex firefighter. Fully guaranteed & insured work by friendly & reliable staff.
Steven Reid - 660931890
M & S SUPERMARKET UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP/MANAGEMENT Completely re-stocked - a wide range of top names and value brands Always value for money with our New Discount Scheme SPEND 30€ & SAVE 10%, SPEND 50€ & SAVE 15% (excludes phone cards and bulk purchases) The English Food Shop, Calle San Bartolome, 55. El Campello 03560 Tel: 965 634 678 Open Mon - Fri 10.00am - 5.30pm Sat 10.00am - 2.00pm
To advertise in The Mellow Magazine please call us on 600 718 805 or 647 597 319 10
Letters Page Send in your letters, poetry etc. And we will try to find room to print them all. Feel free to respond to anything you have seen already sent in by other readers. Dear Mellow Magazine I live in Aigues and during a market here purchased a cake from a stall. When I got it home and tasted it, it was just like the old fashioned bread pudding my mother used to make out of stale bread, spices and dried fruit all mashed together and baked. I did not think to ask the name of the cake I purchased. Do you or any of your readers know of any such cake/pudding in Spain, as I would dearly love to know how to make it or where to buy it. Barbara Bowey. Editor’s reply - Thanks for your letter. I have a feeling that this may be a Spanish cake called Torejas. However, if anyone knows differently please contact us with its name and the recipe which we will print in the next issue of the magazine. Well done. The magazine looks fab. It is very informative for people who are living out there and for the tourists also. I hope you get some more positive feedback from the people in El Campello. You deserve to. Thanks J. Robshaw, Leeds Had another look today at your website and some more things have been posted on it. It looks like it is going to be an interesting magazine! I will keep having a look. Good luck. Mandy R. Hi Lorraine and Jerry Thought the mag was brilliant and very informative and interesting. The first one was brill but this one….wow!!! Love the news part on the internet and have learnt a few things. Sandra & Spike Hi I have been reading January’s issue with interest. it’s good and I hope you continue to have success with it. As to the definition of frustration on page 22, you could have saved a lot of space and ink just printing one word that sums it all up : Telefonica!! Mark. Please note: While we welcome letters on any subject dear to you, the editors of this magazine cannot be held responsible for any views put forward. 11
Alternative Therapies.......Meditation To many people the word ‘meditation’ conjures up visions of sitting cross Meditation Can Transform Your Life legged and chanting. While meditation If you would like to learn more about this quiet can be practised in that way, it defiway to find peace, increase wellbeing and to live a more fulfilled life then send me an nitely doesn’t have to be. You can email and by return I’ll email you a practice meditation sitting on a chair, small booklet to get you started. walking down the street, brushing Send emails to your teeth - even sweeping the floor. firstname.lastname@example.org This brief introduction to the subject If you can’t email me. Give me a call on 678 046 363 and I’ll let you attempts to give you an idea of what know more about how to start. meditation can do, and how you can learn to do it. Most people’s minds are full of thoughts and worries and these race around your head, getting in the way of clear thinking. Meditation is the calming of these thoughts so you can see the world more clearly and live more positively. So how can you stop the worries from taking over and constantly bringing chaos to your mind? It’s not possible to try to think of nothing. Try it. How can you think of something that’s not there? In the same way, you can’t “empty your mind of thought” - again, try it for yourself and see how impossible it is. Because you cannot empty your mind of thought, meditation works by replacing the thoughts that you have with a single focused and concentrated thought. Once you have learnt to focus your thoughts on a single thing, the chaos fades away leaving a peaceful and calm mind. But how do you do it? We can only touch on one method here, but there are many techniques people use and you need to find the one that works best for you. Find somewhere quiet where you can sit without being disturbed - don’t forget to switch off phones etc. You need to be comfortable but not so comfortable you’ll drop off to sleep. If you can reduce the lighting it can help, as can gentle soft music played in the background. Close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and start to relax by first tensing your feet and then slowly relaxing them. As they relax, feel the tension flowing away from you. Repeat this with your lower legs and then imagine this relaxation moving up your legs and into your body. Continue to breathe gently in and out as you relax. Once you feel you have relaxed, start to focus your mind on your breath. Do not try to control it, simply be aware of the air as it enters and leaves. Be aware of the rise and fall of your chest and rib cage. Focus on nothing but your breath. If you find other thoughts begin to intrude just let them drift away again. After a while you will feel as if it’s not you doing the breathing - almost as if someone else is doing it for you. This last state is not easily reached and does take some practice before it happens so don’t expect miracles in the first few attempts. Many people join meditation groups and have guided meditation sessions especially at first and this can be very useful. If this is something you might be interested in then Jeremy Smith can be contacted on 678 046 363 and he will happily give you more information on how you can learn this wonderful life-improving practice. 12
Bar / Restaurant
RESTAURANTE - PUB
Winter Nights’ Programme Sunday/Monday/Tuesday/ Wednesday evenings ~ Closed
German Carnival ( Fancy Dress)
Quiz Night inc. Free Buffet Supper. 8pm start
South American Night (Fancy Dress)
Sunday Roast Dinner & Paella by Spanish Chef 3 Courses 12 € Friday Karaoke with Mr G 8:30pm Restaurant open Fri & Sat Night (winter opening) Sunday from 12 Spanish & English Chef Indoor BBQ when Restaurant Open
Fish Supper Special Cod & Chips, Bread & Butter, Glass of Wine / Ca€a, Tea/Coffee All for 10,50€
Saturday Bingo Night - Eyes Down 8pm Free Buffet Available During Interval You’ll find us on the seafront in El Campello
Tel : 965 632 576
Daniel: 628 026 612 or Kevin: 628 026 616 email@example.com
Opposite Farmacia in Aigƒes Carrer Mayor, 1 03569 Aigƒes
Tel: 965 690 545 Mob: 627 08 77 41
CALL BETWEEN 9.00 am & 6.00 pm Mon - Fri www.good-with-wood.com
We can make to order : Decks Pergolas Car ports Planters etc
We can also quote for : Laminate
flooring Bar fitting 13
Mar Menor Enterprises Own your own Property in Spain Frontline Golf, only minutes from the Beach Steve Johnson is a firm believer in the personal touch, which is why he is passionate about the care that he provides to anyone wishing to purchase a property on the Spanish coast. If you are looking for a property on either the Costa Blanca or further south on the Costa Câ€˘lida region then Steveâ€™s the person to talk to. With his extensive knowledge and contacts in both regions he can be of invaluable help in showing you around the area before you view the properties so you can get a real feel for how you will enjoy your new home, whether itâ€™s for retirement, a permanent move or a holiday home. His wealth of experience in the finance business and the Spanish property market and the fact that he owns his property here in El Campello means that Steve can guarantee you a service that is second to none.
18 Hole Golf Courses Excellent Investment Opportunities Over 50 Developments to choose from Apartments and Detached Villas We also have a beautiful 3 bed/2 bath townhouse to rent in Mutxmel/ El Campello available to rent either for holidays or long term rental. Complete with its own games room including full size pool table as well as a communal swimming pool this property boasts wonderful mountain & sea views. For more information call us today.
Contact Steve Johnson for more information UK 01642 758 265 07734 794 394 Spain 600 71 88 05 email firstname.lastname@example.org 14
SUITE & SPRING CLEAN Cleaning for suites, rugs, carpets, tiled floors and car interiors Quick, safe, fresh, hygienic and environmentally friendly at the right price Contact Stewart
A friendly and helpful service from your local eye specialist offering Full Eye Tests including Glaucoma testing A Complete Contact Lens Service Hearing Tests English speaking, we are easily found on San Bartolom• next to Vodafone opposite Mercadona Avda. San Bartolom•, 34 El Campello
Telf / Fax: 96 563 50 28
Bar PequeÄo - MÅs Grande Pueblo EspaÄol Traditional Sunday Roasts Themed Meals Authentic Indian Curries Probably the best steaks in Campello All BBC, ITV & Sky Sports Shown On Big Screen TV Greek Night - Feb 16th
Tel: 965 635 030
Avon and Betterware products available More exciting events planned, see our ad on the internet for more information www.apartments4rent.co.uk www.themellowmagazine.com Credit cards accepted
Apartment Holiday Rentals - inclusive of airport transfers Property Sales - Property Maintenance 15
Luca’s Bar Indoor & outdoor plants Tel. 639 01 55 78
Avda. Aus€as March, s/n 03560 EL CAMPELLO Mon - Sat from 3.30 - 7pm Sunday 10.30 - 2pm
Urb. El Carril, Busot Tel: 677 825 149 Big Screen T.V showing all sporting events Breakfasts Served From 8.30am Monday - Friday and from 10am Saturday & Sunday Lunches available until 4pm Bar Available For Private Hire
Coming Soon Live Music, Quiz Night & Karaoke
ESPAĹ A VIVA After graduating from Stirling University, Scotland, in 1978, with a Joint Degree in Spanish & French (and Elementary German!), followed by teacher-training at Leeds University, Paul taught Spanish and French in schools in the Manchester area from 1980-1993. He quickly gained promotion to become Head of Spanish in a large State School, and, in the 1980s, organised and led hugely popular school visits to his "adopted" city of Cuenca in Central Spain. At the same time, he began teaching Spanish in Adult Education classes in the U.K. In January, 1994, Paul decided to move to Spain, where he has lived ever since, teaching Spanish and English as a Foreign Language in many different parts of the country, including Madrid, Cuenca, Murcia, and now El Campello. Paul has enjoyed great success in the Hispanic World and has been interviewed several times on local & national Spanish Radio,, as well as featuring in local newspapers back in the UK. He was an Examiner for O and A level Spanish & represented Northwest England region on the National Examination Board for Spanish. He is also an active member of the world-famous Instituto Cervantes. Living in Campello since last August with his partner, Angela, who is also British and a qualified teacher of English with 9 years experience, they intend to settle in Campello for many years to come, having immediately fallen in love with this beautiful part of Spain, its wonderful climate, lifestyle, food and people. Paul is now looking forward to sharing his knowledge and expertise with the English-speaking community of El Campello, whether it be basic conversational Spanish, or, indeed, to any level. For all your requirements, contact Paul NOW on 666 677 742, or e-mail, email@example.com. It's NEVER too late to learn!!!
Chocolate For Breakfast! Local long term resident of El Campello Mr. Alan Price was presented with a Gold Chocolate from Valor on the seafront in El Campello during January. It was awarded for being a regular customer and always having his breakfast there each day. He is seen receiving his award from Dolores who worked at Valor for many years before recently retiring . Well done Alan and we wish you many more years of enjoying Valor breakfasts.
Puzzles, Jokes & General Knowledge Did you know? In a standard pack of playing cards the King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache. Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping in a restaurant is considered an insult. Every time you lick a stamp you are consuming one tenth of a calorie. Over 10,000 birds die each year from crashing into windows. Slugs have 4 noses. When glass breaks the cracks move faster than 300 mph.
Jokes Two blondes went on holiday to Australia. One said to the other, “Which do you think is the furthest away, London or the moon?” The other replied, “Hellooo..... Can you see London from here?” Two blondes walked into a building. You’d have thought one would have noticed it, wouldn’t you? (The above 2 jokes were supplied anonymously via email)
By Request, A Harder Sudoku
1 6 7
The solution to these Sudokus will be supplied next month. 18
In this Sudoku what you have to do is write the numbers 1 to 6, without repeating any, in each row, column and shape.
Solution to last month’s sudoku 3
Last month’s puzzle where you had to add mathematical signs caught most of you but we did get one correct answer from Andy.
The answer he came up with was 12 - 3 + 4 + 5 x 6 - 7 + 8 - 9 = 100 (For the purists, the sum works out when calculated from left to right as you would when using a calculator) The shortest answer is 123 - 45 - 67 + 89 = 100 More answers can be found at www.jimloy.com/puzz/1234.htm
Jungle Tools Once upon a time out in the jungle a chimpanzee invented some tools to eat his food with. One was flat, sharpened on one edge to cut his food. He called it his one point tool. The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end and each was sharpened to a point in order to pierce his food and place it in his mouth. This he called his four point tool. He was very proud of his inventions. One day he awoke to find his four point tool missing. Distraught, he set off into the depths of the jungle to find it.. First he came upon a lion. “Lion, lion!” he cried, “Have you seen my four point tool?” “No, I have not seen your four point tool.” replied the lion. Then the chimp came across the gorilla. “Gorilla, have you seen my four point tool?” he cried, but the answer was the same as before. Then the chimp came across the jaguar. “Jaguar, Jaguar, have you seen my four point tool?” begged the chimpanzee. “Yup, I’ve seen it. I ate it .” replied the jaguar. “Why would you do such a thing?” cried the chimp. “Because,” replied the big cat, “I’m a four point tool eater jaguar!” 19
Translating and Interpreting Service Interpreting from 20€/hr. Translations 12 cents/word 00 34 655 13 50 52 www.bridgingspain.com Everything you need in Spain to deal with Spanish bureaucracy
Frank - Lee Painting & Decorating Interior and Exterior Work No Job Too Big, No Job Too Small Free No Obligation Quotes Given Tel: 965 698 376 (after 6pm) Or Contact 628 107 897 (Frank) 606 397 309 (Lee)
The MPS Massage System Imagine being bathed all over by the warmth of far-infrared rays as you lie comfortably relaxed on a special mattress that is also giving you an advanced spinal massage using heated jade rollers. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it, but the effects of far-infrared rays go a long way beyond simple heat. Far-infrared energy resonates with your inner body and helps to increase blood flow and energy levels. As your blood flow increases, aches and pains, especially in joints can reduce, leaving you feeling relaxed, pain free and far more full of energy than you have felt in a long time. All this sounds expensive, but a single session which lasts around 36 minutes costs from only 10€ - well worth a try and easily arranged as MPS are here in El Campello and they do speak some English. For more information you can see their advertisement on page 2. We would welcome any feedback from people who have already tried this. 20
The things we say........By Robert Littler. Our mother tongue is alive with quips and phrases. We use these sayings on a daily basis yet most of the time have no knowledge of how they came about. Sayings like “happy as a sandboy” or “skeleton in the cupboard” or “going for a song” are just a few. During the next few editions of the magazine and with the consent of the editor I will give the true meanings of some of these phrases, which I am sure will give help to students of the English language who must have their minds in turmoil when hearing us use the colloquial quotes whereas we take them for granted. Have someone over a barrel (Nautical) This means to be totally at the mercy of third parties and unable to influence the circumstances surrounding them. In Medieval Britain the practice of draping a drowning or drowned person face down over a large barrel to try to clear the lungs was the normal procedure. As the victim was usually unconscious they were completely reliant on third parties Whatever action they took would determine the persons fate. Pull your finger out (Military) Today this phrase is associated with encouraging someone to get a move on, to complete a task more quickly. Loaded cannons had gunpowder poured into a small ignition hole which was stoppered by a wooden plug. In times of battle, for speed, the powder would be held in place by a gun crewmember using his finger. Impatient artillerymen anxious to fire the gun would shout to him to pull his finger out so that the gun could be fired. It was never recorded how many fingers were lost in battle. Without batting an eyelid (Literature) A phrase used to describe a person taking a situation in their stride, without even blinking. “Bate” is a long obsolete English word meaning to flutter or to beat the wings as a butterfly might. When a person reacted to something without showing signs of surprise they were regarded as “not even bateing an eyelid”. To win hands down (Sport) Suggests a comfortable win. A much favoured expression used by sports people. Its origin is rooted in horse racing. When a jockey is well in front he can comfortably gallop straight down to the finish without using his whip to drive his mount onwards. He can place both hands on the reins, canter to the line and “win hands down”. Not fit to hold a candle (Trade) Meaning we are not in a person’s league and should not be working in the same place. The phrase is attributed to when craftsmen employed unskilled labour to hold candles to illuminate their work. Being told that one was not fit to “hold the candle” was an insult and derogatory to an inferior craftsman. 21
Ed. Pescadores C/ San Bartolomƒ, 128 (Entrance in C/ San Fransisco)
03560 El Campello
It’s not too difficult to learn Spanish At Lexis we focus on helping you with spoken Spanish while not neglecting the grammar, so you learn more quickly as well as more easily. Most classes are held in the morning from 9 to 10:30 or from 10 to 11:30, twice a week.
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Here are a few things to make you smile Have you ever wondered ... why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? why "abbreviated" is such a long word? why doctors call what they do "practice"? why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour but dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? why there isn't mouse-flavoured cat food? who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour? why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ? why sheep don't shrink when it rains? why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? And finally, if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Remember that we offer FREE advertisements in the classified section for all your private sales or wants up to the value of 50€, so come on and call us today....clear out your sheds or spare rooms....start the new year with more space and more money in your pocket. To advertise in The Mellow Magazine, call us on 647 597 319 or 600 718 805 or email to: firstname.lastname@example.org 22
February - A dangerous month outdoors Anytime between January and April the plagues of processionarial caterpillars appear in our gardens and the surrounding hills but they are at their most dangerous towards the end of February. Silk cocoons can be seen in the pine trees. Before leaving the cocoons the caterpillars will strip the pine trees of their needles and then leave to find another tree. They are seen travelling in a line along the ground, hence the name processionarios. The fact that they travel in a line makes it easier to spot them. The little tiny hairs on the caterpillars are extremely poisonous and continue to be toxic even after the caterpillar has died. We need to remember to be careful where our pets are allowed to go at this dangerous time. These pests are also dangerous to children so beware. Keep well away. Should a caterpillar drop from a tree onto you or your pet you should not brush it off with your hands. There have been reports of people suffering from anaphylactic shock as well as irritation and stinging of the skin. Should you go walking where there are many pine trees it would be a good idea to carry antihistamines. In your home environment it would be advisable to think about the best way of dealing with the caterpillars. Never use a brush to sweep them away as this action will cause the tiny poisonous hairs to be flying in the air. It’s possible to actually tie a large rag to a stick, douse it in petrol and burn the cocoons in the trees. Seek medical advice/vetinary advice if you find that you or your pet have a rash or any pain after accidental contact with the caterpillars.
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Charities, Clubs and Events The Dogs In Need Association (DINA) was formed in September 2005. Its aim is to help sick, injured, abandoned dogs within the Busot, Campello and Muchamiel areas. Not yet a registered charity, the four people who are dedicated to running this association organise monthly fundraising events and within the first year successfully raised almost 10,000 euros. Each animal is tested for 5 diseases, vaccinated; micro-chipped and sterilized when they arrive in the care of DINA. A total of 60 cases were dealt with during the first twelve months including placing 37 dogs in new homes. Costs are high for kennelling and for vet fees. Foster carers are always needed. If you can offer help and support please call Joy on 965699460 or Brian/Julie on 965634181. Alternatively, emails can be sent to email@example.com The English Speaking Club, San Juan & District Los Perales, Camino Real de Villajoyosa 22, El Campello. Tel: 965652114. The club has more than 400 English speaking, active members from many nationalities who meet on a Wednesday and a Sunday between 12 noon and 2.30pm. Come along and find out about our available activities and when they take place. They include Petanc, Patchwork / Quilting, Linedancing, Quizzes, Whist, as well as a monthly dinner dance. Run by volunteers and with bar prices that can’t be equalled. Make new friends and join in the fun. Intercambio We are looking for people to join a new language exchange group. Let’s meet up for a drink and learn more of each others’ languages. If you are Spanish, English, Dutch, French ,Chinese.......... and want to make new friends come along to our group on Monday 12th February at 8.30pm. Call us to find out where we will be. Call J.J. 678 046 363 Patchwork and Quilting Ehibition - in aid of Breast Cancer Research Saturday 3rd February 10.30am - 2.00pm at San Juan & District English Speaking Club. Admission 2€ inc. Tea/Coffee/Biscuits. There will be a raffle of a quilt as well as other prizes. Please go along and support the work done in aid of Breast Cancer research. PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE PLANNING A CHARITY EVENT AND WE CAN THEN LET EVERYONE ELSE KNOW. THIS IS A FREE SERVICE AND WILL COST YOU JUST A TELEPHONE CALL OR AN EMAIL. We welcome submissions of short stories or poems but ask that you try to stay around 500 words. We will endeavour to print at least one submission each month. However, this cannot be guaranteed. Send your work to firstname.lastname@example.org PLEASE EMAIL OR CALL WITH YOUR FORTHCOMING EVENTS. SPACE PERMITTING WE WILL LET PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THEM IN THE MAGAZINE. 24
Av. Germanias 7 Local C El Campello Tel: 966 389 116
CV-m 450 - A
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Cruises and Tours Imagine sailing away on an All Inclusive cruise in the Mediterranean, the Baltic Region or the Caribbean. Or taking in the sights of Alaska. Or perhaps a combination of a cruise and a tour. The choice is yours when you come to see us.
Cruises Mediterranean (all inclusive) Caribbean (all inclusive & flights) Caribbean (all inclusive plus 1 week in 5* hotel and flights) Baltic (all inclusive & flights)
from 399 € from 699 € from 999 € from 999 €
Exotic Cruises and Tours Alaska - 13 days - cruise and land tour Argentina Tour - Buenos Aires - Iguazu - Glaciers
from 2.100 € from 2.500 €
Tour to Andulucia 9 Day group tour based in Huelva visiting Doƒana, Sevilla, Jerez, Algarve (South Portugal)
Coastline Hotels - Balearics - Canary Islands Hotel reservations Let us arrange your Hotel Reservation for you in Spain and across the world - it’s simpler and a lot less of a worry for you. Brochures, prices, dates, reservations, discounts, offers and conditions available on request. Senior rates available Remember us when you are planning your next holiday. We speak English and will help everything go smoothly Tel 966 389 116
Email email@example.com 25
For Sale Pueblo Espa‚ol For Sale 2 bedroom Apartment ( both ensuite) with sea views, large lounge, kitchen diner. Must be seen. 265,000€ Tel: 617 944 030
Brand new & still boxed mosquito/ insect deterrent with battery. 10€ Tel: 660 397 525
A single mattress. Must be in excellent condition Tel : 965 637 266
Qualified British Chiropodist
Home visits. Campello & surrounding districts. 25€ per visit including any dressings required. A baby’s dropside cot & For appointment Tel: mattress suitable for few weeks 620694330 use by toddler. Mattress must be in excellent condition. Tel : 965 637 266 Emergency Locksmith 24 hr call out. Call Steve on 660931890
Roof Bars For Renault Scenic/Megane 99/03 in very good condition. 40€ Tel : 697 503 716 Private advertisements in this section are free for articles of 50 € or less. Businesses & Private Items over 50€ are charged at 6€ for up to 20 words, 9€ for up to 30 words, 12€ for up to 40 words. Telephone numbers count as 1 word, websites as 2 words and email addresses as 3 words.
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678 046 363
C. De Londres, Coveta Fuma, El Campello, Alicante. Tel: 965 638 667 For Further Information
Tuesday - Saturday 8pm - 2am Sunday from Mid - day Closed Monday TUESDAY NITE IS GAMES NITE!!! Pool, Darts, Beetledrive, Rummikub & more
WEDNESDAY NITE IS FUN NITE!!! Play your cards right, UK Lotto bonus ball, Open the box, Fun quizzes, Name that tune. WIN SOME GREAT PRIZES! Starts 10pm
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A local magazine for the Costa Blanca