This monthly series follows Leah and James Verret as they experience the surprises and challenges of pregnancy, the second time around.
by Erin K. Cormier
Month Five:
Getting Big Brother Ready
Photo by Ben Verret
For 2-year-old Jack Verret, there are two possible explanations for the sudden growth of his mother’s midsection: It’s either a baby or a basketball. Either way, “Jack is definitely noticing it,” his mother, Leah, said. “When I rock with him, he will usually put his hand on my belly.” Leah and her husband James are in the throes of an advancing pregnancy. James is in the process of closing out the garage to make room for the nursery. Leah suffers from occasional heartburn and has to watch what she eats. They are bouncing baby names off each other (for now, the preferences are Madison Olivia or Lucas Warren). And in the midst of all these lifechanging preparations is their toddler, their only child – until summer, at least. Jack, who relishes in the exclusivity of his parents’ attention, has a few life-changing events of his own to tackle. Not only is he trying his best to comprehend the concept of a baby growing inside his mother, he’s also potty-training. “I am not sure how to prepare mentally because with Jack, I could focus all my attention on him. This time around, I will have to care for a newborn while still giving Jack the attention he needs,” Leah said. “I am most worried about Jack feeling left out. James and I will have to work out a schedule that works for us. It will be interesting at first.” Leah’s obstetrician, Dr. Walter Guth of OBG-1 in Lake Charles, has seen many expectant parents struggle with the challenges of welcoming a newborn while handling a toddler. According to Dr. Guth, the key is to prepare the older sibling as much as possible. “Obviously there is a limit to what a 2-yearold understands, but it’s important to talk about what he or she should expect, and reiterate it as much as possible. Make sure the older sibling understands what the new baby will mean – not just for them, but for the family,” Dr. Guth said.
28
www.thriveswla.com
Two-year-olds may not comprehend what having a “new baby” means, according to Dr. Guth. Even though it seems common knowledge that babies cry a lot, need constant diaper changes, and require continual attention, these things may not be immediately apparent to a toddler, Dr. Guth said. “Parents should explain these things in advance and make sure the older sibling knows that babies aren’t immediate playmates.” He also suggested that parents involve older siblings as much as possible by having them sing to the baby or help with diaper changes. “We frequently talk to Jack about mommy’s belly, so I think he understands what’s going on,” James said. Meanwhile, the Verrets have no idea if Jack will welcome a brother or a sister – they have elected not to find out the gender of the baby. “The experience will be even more exciting when the baby is born and we find out then,” James said. “We have not been tempted at all to find out.” The fifth month is a time of milestones for the Verret’s second baby, according to Dr. Guth. Between 21 and 25 weeks, babies develop fingernails and eyelashes, their nostrils open, and air sacs start to develop in the lungs. By now, the Verret’s baby is about a foot long and weighs about 1 ½ pounds.
Thrive Magazine for Better Living
April 2009