City Weekly

SEPTEMBER 20 | 2012

QUESTIONS FOR BEN A DATE WITH MELBOURNE’S MULTIMEDIA MAESTRO thecityweekly.com.au September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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— ADVERTISEMENT —

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[ 2 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

September 20, 2012

INSIDE Week 37 2012 Volume 15

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‘Two walls of sheer glass shaded by remote control blinds offer stunning views’

MICHAEL HARRY LIFESTYLE EDITOR

PROPERTY OF THE WEEK ast week I went to a design conference called Semi-Permanent at the Melbourne Convention Centre, where 1500 of the city’s creative minds listened to a bunch of (mostly) brilliant presentations from an eclectic range of speakers.

I was there to see a Dutch editor called Gert Jonkers, who is the creator of two of the world’s coolest magazines: Butt and Fantastic Man. Jonkers kicked off his talk with a series of slides from his personal family album, including a shot of the first house he’d ever lived in. “I think it’s important to share this sort of personal stuff,” he said. Because there’s nothing drearier than a public figure who’s not willing to reveal what makes them tick – sometimes warts and all.

This resonated with me as I went to another talkie event over the weekend, the always excellent Women of Letters at the Thornbury Theatre. Each month WoL invites a different panel of women to share a letter they’ve written on the same topic. Last weekend it was “A letter to my unfinished business”.

The five ladies all spoke with startling honesty.

Singer Sarah Blasko told her story of breaking away from a Pentecostal church as a teenager, actor Kate Mulvany spoke of her partner’s suicide, writer Helen Garner revealed her mistake of staying in a dodgy relationship … for 12 years, and editor Sally Heath found herself almost accidentally revealing (to shocked gasps) that she left her fiancé for no good reason and married another man a few weeks later.

Writer, critic and comedian Ben Pobjie is another public figure not afraid to go to deeply personal places in his work. Best known for his TV columns in the Saturday Age, Pobjie also has almost 10,000 Twitter followers and has published around 130,000 Tweets.

As well as insightful political arguments and acerbicly hilarious comments, Pobjie also shares his ongoing and difficult battle with depression. Recently he Tweeted. “I’m not okay. Is that okay?”

We would disagree, Ben. We think you’re more than okay. In fact you’re one of the most fascinating people in Melbourne.

Read his story on page 8. mharry@mmpgroup.com.au

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10 TIME OUT

This week 04 update 12 stool pigeon 14 design Cover photograph of Ben Pobjie

by Chris Hopkins

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thecityweekly.com.au AN MMP MEDIA PUBLICATION PO Box 4569, Melbourne, 3001 655 Collins Street, Docklands, 3008 Phone 8667 4700 Editorial fax 8667 4702 Classifieds 13 24 25 Distribution 8667 4830 Advertising fax 1300 305 856

Editor Jane Hutchinson (jhutchinson@mmpgroup.com.au) Lifestyle Editor Michael Harry (mharry@mmpgroup.com.au) Sales Manager Debra Meiklejohn (dmeiklejohn@mmpgroup.com.au) Real Estate Manager Matthew Maasdijk (mmaasdijk@mmpgroup.com.au) Production Supervisor Nick Clayton Publisher Antony Catalano

Published by Metro Media Publishing Pty Ltd (ACN 141 396 741).

All material is copyright and no part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the editor. Responsibility for election comment is accepted by Antony Catalano, 113-115 York Street, South Melbourne, 3205. The Weekly endorses the Media, Entertainment and Arts Alliance’s “Code of Conduct”. All significant errors will be corrected as quickly as possible. Distribution numbers, areas and coverage are estimates only. For advertising terms and conditions, visit www.theweeklyreview.com.au and www.adcentre.com.au

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September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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UPDATE

In the pink Supporting breast cancer awareness has just been given a tweak of fun. A percentage of the sale of these quirky cufflinks from Hostile Bacon goes straight to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Pick them up for for $24.95 a pop. Details: visit hostilebacon.com.au.

Sweet feet

Slap a pair of Jellybeans on your feet this summer and join the cool cats. Che ap ($29.99), ch eerful, and cheekily chic, these liq uorice black numbers wor k in almost an y situation.

Details: visit jbeans.com.a u.

Absolutly fabulous October is the month of fun, it seems, with the release of Absolut Unique.

With only 4,000,000 designed and individually numbered bottles on the market worldwide, this one’s a keeper for a cool $50. Visit: absolut.com/au.

Put on a happy face ate n upd il a t o G ma tip? e te@ a d up om.au .c fairfax

Ugly is the new pretty and these little Uglydolls are proof. There are more than 30 characters to collect but Classic Wippy is CW’s pick. At our new best friend. $24.95, he’s o Details: visit jjasnor.com.au.

Gimme shelter Planning on watching a horse or two at Flemington this year?

Style your outfit with fashionable weather preparation thanks to Wett and Wendy. The collection, arriving g in stores on October 1, is another winner by Melbourne designer Anna Martino. From $49.45.

Details: visit wetandwendy.com.

EVOLUTION mary-jane.daffy@mmpgroup.com.au f there’s a drink that soothes the soul, it’s sake.

That or the Japanese plum wine umeshu, or the often heady spirit shochu, made since the 16th century. It feels clean and pure and like an oh-so-very-saintly Friday night purge.

Especially if you’re sipping the clear liquid while parked at a new sake bar with more than 60 bottles to sip and slurp your way through.

Sake Restaurant and Bar sits snugly beside the newly redeveloped and relaunched Hamer Hall.

It creeps along the Yarra with a run of turquoise outdoor chairs acting as beacons. Barrels dangle like buoys from the ceiling, framing a classy bar alcove that would be easy to get lost in.

Did I mention the sake cocktails? Try the Pink Blossom.

The bar is elegant and graceful and wonderfully Japanese, in contemporary style.

Best of all, it has an electric cherry blossom tree on the second level that rocks. It’s romantic and, at night, particularly moody with views across the city and razor-sharp service.

Magic is created in the kitchen. Simple magic, mind you. Executive chef Shaun Presland and head chef Rose Ang aren’t into too much trickery but do respect the produce.

Kingfish Jalapeno (pictured below) is a case in point. Slices of Hiramasa kingfish crowned with a slice of jalapeno chilli and placed in a shallow pool of soy and yuzu. Boom!

Sashimi tacos bursting with salmon and tuna are flavoursome, textural and fun, and come with shots of Kozaemon Junmai sake to sip.

Sake has finally delivered some light to this corner of the world. Take a stroll, or be really cheeky – knock off work early and make it a late Friday luncheon. I dare you. ■

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PHOTOGRAPHS SUPPLIED

Hit the pavement Lads and ladies – this spring, edgy label Ksubi offers an offbeat take on the athletic trend infiltrating streetwear.

The Bad Sports collection is rough and ready for boys or girls. Details: visit ksubi.com.

[ 4 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

September 20, 2012

Sake Restaurant and Bar, Hamer Hall, 100 St Kilda Road, Southbank

THEGRID

Emma Welsh Co-founder of Emma & Tom’s products Where do you ...

Street, South Yarra. Call 9804 5999). It’s torture but you do feel better for it!

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Get some culture I’m a big fan of the Malthouse Theatre (113 Sturt Street, Southbank, call 9685 5111). They do a great program of local productions.

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Buy something new I would head to homewares store Husk in Hawksburn Village (557 Malvern Road, Toorak.

Call 9827 2700). I can also get an Emma & Tom’s juice while I’m there!

DARREN JAMES

Go to relax A long walk through the Royal Botanic Gardens always helps me to unwind.

Spend your last $10 A coffee at my favourite cafe Barista (3A Carlton Street, Prahran. Call 9510 3008).

Unleash your inner child There’s no better place than the Collingwood Children’s Farm (18 St Heliers Street, Abbotsford). I still get excited to see the animals and explore the market.

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Take someone you want to impress I always enjoy a meal at HuTong Dumpling Bar (14–16 Market Lane, city. Call 9650 8128). I love the chilli wontons.

There’s something relaxing about slowly browsing through the titles.

South Yarra, call 9866 8836). It has amazing food and a great bar, plus there’s no queue to get in!

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Indulge yourself A massage with my acupuncturist, Peter Rutty at 2Good Personal Training (48 Wilson

Go on your own My Bookshop by Corrie Perkin (513 Malvern Road, Hawksburn. Call 9824 2990).

Stay up late A great night out is spent eating tapas at Maya Tequila Bar and Grill (74 Toorak Road,

Want to keep a secret The St Kilda dog beach, where I walk my sausage dog, Daisy.

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September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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SEE&DO

Don’t miss THE BEST OF THE WEEK

Today LAND OF THE FREE what: Press in the US when: Thursday, September 20

The American media has never been known for its impartiality. From Fox News to The New York Times, most mainstream media outlets are firmly in the left- or right-wing camps.

America: Media in the Land of the Stars and Stripes, an event at The Wheeler Centre tonight, will explore themes of media influence, politics and the impact the US media has on Australia. Journalists Richard Fidler, Julia Baird, Siobhan Heanue and Sophie Black will share their thoughts from 6.15pm. At 176 Little Collins Street, city; entry free but bookings required. Details: visit wheelercentre.com.

MODERN MADDEN what: The voice of punk pop when: Thursday, September 20

Famous and Girls & Boys at Festival Hall, 300 Dudley Street, West Melbourne, on Thursday, September 20. Tickets are $94 plus booking fee. Details: visit festivalhall.com.au.

GAME CHANGER what: Video legend speaks when: Thursday, September 20

Acclaimed video game designer Tetsuya Mizuguchi is the man behind some of the most original titles in recent memory, including Space Channel 5, Lumines and Child of Eden. Mizuguchi is known for his pioneering application of music and visuals, and worked on seminal games including Sega Rally Championship in his formative years. The gaming legend will speak about his creative process at ACMI from 6.15pm.

He will also appear at several other events as part of the Game Masters exhibition over the weekend. Tickets are $20.

Details: visit acmi.net.au.

To some, Joel Madden is best known as the husband of Nicole Richie and a judge on ratings hit The Voice. But his number one job is as frontman of US punk pop veterans Good Charlotte.

The four-piece – which features Joel’s brother, Benji, on guitar – has released five best-selling albums and will start working on a sixth next year. The band will delve into its bag of hits, including Lifestyles of the Rich and [ 6 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

Weekend

Midweek

EMPIRE LINE

STAGE LEFT

what: Last days of Napoleon when: Saturday

what: Faces of the Malthouse when: opens Monday

NGV’s Melbourne Winter Masterpieces exhibition Napolean: Revolution to Empire is in its final weeks. But before the exhibition closes on October 7, there’s a chance to hear from some experts on the art and artists in the time of the French Revolution. NGV International Art curator Sophie Matthesson and Art Gallery of Ballarat director Gordon Morrison are among the luminaries to share their thoughts at an afternoon forum on Saturday. The $45 adult ticket price includes afternoon tea. At 180 St Kilda Road, city.

Details: visit ngv.vic.gov.au.

The list of actors who have worked with the Malthouse Theatre in recent years is as impressive as they come. Paul Capsis, Marcus Graham, Eddie Perfect (pictured), Tim Rogers and Frank Woodley are among the familiar faces to have tread the boards.

New exhibition Sweet Oriander is a collection of portraits of some of these famous folk.

A collaboration between art director Fiona Sweet and photographer Garth Oriander, the portraits will be sold to raise money for the Victorian Actors Benevolent Trust. At 45 Flinders Lane, city until October 6. Details: visit fortyfivedownstairs.com.

Must see STOCKHOLM SYNDROME what: Swedish style bloggers when: opens Wednesday

Works from one of the world’s most prominent fashion photography blogs are being exhibited in Melbourne. Caroline Blomst and her photographer boyfriend Daniel Troyse launched their Stockholm Streetstyle blog in 2005, to showcase some of the most cutting edge European fashion on the streets.

The collection will open at Somewhere Gallery, 29/314 Little Collins Street, city on Wednesday and run until October 13. Details: visit someplace.com.au.

Compiled by Kathryn Kernohan toppicks@fairfax.com.au September 20, 2012

MAGIC AT HER MAJ what: Las Vegas illusions when: opens Tuesday

Magicians, illusionists, singers, dancers and comedians combine to create the all-age spectacular Trikstars, which opens at Her Majesty’s Theatre on Monday. The production will feature magicians direct from Las Vegas, as well as shadow artist Sonny Fontana and ‘‘quick change transformation artists’’ Soul Mystique. The show runs daily until September 30, with two performances on the 26th and 30th. At 219 Exhibition Street, city, tickets from $65. Details: visit ticketek.com.au.

UPDATE

Beware of booby traps Terri Psiakis is in two minds about child-minding at shopping centres

rom a file marked “Well, DUH!” comes new research suggesting most parents would love to shop in peace, without their children’s tantrums, pestering and toilet-runs. Honestly. How groundbreaking. I’m amazed they didn’t go further here and discover that most people in general would love to shop in peace, without other people’s children’s tantrums and pestering. (The toilet-runs can stay as they’re the only sure-fire way to guarantee that at some stage those kids will have to abruptly leave the shop.)

Mind you, I say all this as a parent: the only thing that riles me more than my own kid’s misbehaviour in a shop is some other kid doing their block – mainly because you’re not allowed to threaten other people’s kids with a loss of their TV privileges when they act up (don’t ask me how I know).

The research comes courtesy of a poll of 1100 people carried out by online

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community Mouths Of Mums* and in response, major shopping centres are apparently considering more child-minding services for customers. I’m in two minds about this. On the one hand, I support it: last week, The Sprout and I were at our local shopping plaza, and to reward her for not going on any rampages while I shopped, I let her run off some energy at the plaza’s indoor play centre. While we were there, she was repeatedly hassled by a boy aged about five, and after waiting for more than 20 minutes and not seeing a parent, guardian or older sibling around to step in and set the boy straight, I asked him where mum or dad was and received the answer “Kmart”. Kmart was a good 10-minute walk over two plaza levels away. Hence my support of real, supervised child-minding services at shopping centres as opposed to just ditching your kid somewhere and hoping for the best.

On the other hand, however, shopping

with young kids is one of the major rites of passage as a parent.

Having someone look after your kids while you shop means you’ll never get to figure out how to handle what to do when they start screaming for the chocolates for sale at the supermarket checkout (I explain that while yes, they do look delicious, they have in fact already been licked by old men and that’s why they’re up the front of the shop). Not shopping with kids means you’ll never truly appreciate how fast you can evacuate while still looking perfectly calm and blameless when surprise toddler vomit occurs in the middle of Lincraft (I still feel a smidge guilty about that one.)

Most importantly, if you never shop with young kids you’ll miss the pleasure of discovering the information

they deem appropriate to share with your fellow shoppers. While waiting in the busy service queue of a major department store recently, The Sprout turned to the guy behind us and announced “I had a shower with mummy today”. “That’s nice,” he offered with a look that plainly begged, “Please stop this story here”.

The Sprout then turned to me and continued loudly: “I like your boobies, mummy. They’re very low. Maybe one day when I’m big I can have low boobies, too?”

I bloody hope so. Just for the payback. *As a mum, I can tell you with some authority that the number one thing you’ll find inside Mouths of Mums is Crusts Of Toast. ■ You can follow Terri on Twitter @terripsiakis

Presented by Multicultural Arts Victoria, Australian Multicultural Foundation and Arts Centre Melbourne

LIVING CULTURES OF

CHINA DANCE, SONG AND MUSIC

27 SEPTEMBER 2012, 7.30PM ARTS CENTRE MELBOURNE, HAMER HALL

ONE SHOW ONLY An exciting, colourful and unique performace showcasing the diverse cultures of China Tickets: artscentremelbourne.com.au Info:multiculturalarts.com.au

Custom made and off the rack shirts from Phillips, hand cut and sewn in Melbourne since 1952. Choose from a vast selection of superior quality rare vintage and modern European fabrics.

Fully customised shirts from $160* Visit Archive, a Shop by Phillips or contact Phillips Shirts to make an appointment for a fit and fabric consultation.

Phillips Shirts & Archive, a Shop by Phillips, 274 Lt Lonsdale Street. (03) 9670 3000 www.phillipsshirts.com.au Supported by City of Melbourne and Consulate General of The People’s Republic of China

facebook.com/archiveashopbyphillips *Price depends on fabric choice and number of shirts ordered.

September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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COVERSTORY

Seriously

funny Alana Schetzer has a rendezvous with humorist Ben Pobjie and finds a man too old to be a wunderkind but too young to die

alking into Negroni, a chic bar and restaurant in Collins Street, I stop dead in my tracks. Inside, the lights are dim, gentle music is playing and there are candles flickering on every table. Crap! I’ve accidentally picked one of Melbourne’s most romantic nightspots to interview writer and comedian Ben Pobjie. He’s waiting inside, sipping a Coke, and I feel like an idiot.

I had planned to disclose my great personal affection for his work, but in this context, with everything but a violinist playing in the background, it might come across as a bit Fatal Attraction. Maybe later, I think, as I stretch out my hand to greet him.

Pobjie is here to discuss several things – among them his new Fringe Festival show, being funny and Ikea furniture (more on that later).

If you look into the nooks and crannies of Australian media, you’ll find Pobjie’s name attached to some of the wittiest, sharpest and at times most absurd writing around. He’s had a go at critics of the carbon tax, News Limited columnist Andrew Bolt, written a poem about Bob Brown and taken a pot shot at those who claim women aren’t funny. He’s the official satirist on independent journalism website newmatilda.com, is the author of two books, Handy Latin Phrases and SuperChef, a popular Twitter citizen with almost 10,000 followers, writes a weekly column for The Age and was the unofficial king of the MasterChef recap on theage.com.au earlier this year.

Case in point: ‘‘Whether hugging each other, dropping a bowl, or doing a third thing, there’s no doubt these amateurs have made us feel a variety of feelings at certain times.’’

Oh, Ben. Is it as fun to write as it is to read? ‘‘Television [writing] is the easiest stuff that I do because I’m watching television all the time,’’ he says. ‘‘I’m kind of of thinking that way anyway, because

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[ 8 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

September 20, 2012

Cut of the Fringe

‘

Stephen A Russell and Kathryn Kernohan sift through the program to find some of the best shows at the Melbourne Fringe Festival

It’s so cool to be the wunderkind, the prodigy, all these things at a really young age, and I’ve lost that opportunity.

There’s nothing I can do now and people will say, ‘Wow, and he’s so young’, apart from dying...

Mainstream Freak Former Machine Gun Fellatio singer Pinky Beecroft promises ‘‘true stories from Planet Beecroft’’ in his debut Fringe Festival show. At North Melbourne Town Hall, tickets from $18.

‘

‘‘First of all, some of the comments are really nice.

But also, it nags away at me, wondering what people are saying and also, when articles are online and comments are open, that’s one of the measures of whether you’re reaching your audience. So I do like to see whether it’s made any impact on the world. It eats away at me not knowing.’’

Humour, being the subjective beast that it is, is rarely consumed in a universal way. In early August, Pobjie jumped to the defence of Triple J breakfast hosts Tom Ballard and Alex Dyson after they were accused of making fun of holocaust victims. ‘‘Comedians don’t tell us about things that are funny: they take things that aren’t funny and try to make them so.

As a matter of fact, if the only things we could joke about were things that were already funny, comedy wouldn’t even exist – there’d be no point in making jokes if everything we made jokes about was funny to begin with,’’ he wrote in The Age at the time.

On his own work, Pobjie says being accused of being racist or something equally abhorrent is much worse than being accused of being a bad writer. ‘‘What I dislike more is people misunderstanding what I’ve written. And I don’t want someone who misunderstands my article to put it out there on the internet. ‘‘What you grow to realise, when you start putting your work out into the public, is that you can’t be responsible for every reaction. If people are going to be outraged or offended, then they will be. All you can do is stuff that doesn’t outrage or offend you and hope that most people understand what you’re trying to do.’’

There’s a common misconception that a comedian is going to be ‘‘on’’, performing for the public, at all times.

The idea that they are complex, intelligent people whose humour is derived not just from talent, but also from a lot of hard work, is something that many people either can’t – or won’t – accept.

Pobjie is willing to lay himself bare in an attempt to explain not his work – that can speak for itself – but his attitude towards it. He cares not only about how it’s received but about how it makes him appear. ‘‘I want to sound like the type of person who gives interviews in magazines,” he says. “I don’t want this to come out sounding like a strange person with strange speech patterns.’’

And in case you’re wondering, yes, I did tell Pobjie I was a fan. And despite the candlelight, it wasn’t weird at all. ■ Let’s Put on a Show runs from October 6–13 at the Lithuanian Club, 44 Errol Street, North Melbourne. Tickets $20. The Melbourne Fringe Festival runs until October 14.

Details: visit melbournefringe.com.au.

Funny ladies Anne Edmonds, Kate McLellen and Geraldine Hickey join forces to provide an alternative call of the Grand Final. At North Melbourne Town Hall, entry free.

Hang the DJ Comedian Andrew McClelland and his mate Ian Bell share all from ‘‘the sober side of the dance floor.’’ Entry includes post-show dance party. At Trades Hall, Carlton, tickets from $18.

Urban Scrawl Tour guide Zoe Rinkel will lead groups on a public art walking tour, hunting out some of the more interesting and noteworthy art decorating Melbourne’s famous laneways. Tickets are $15.

Sun Rising Melbourne performers David Cosma and Damon Smith pay homage to musicians such as Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison and Johnny Cash in a tribute to record label Sun Records.

At Northcote Social Club, tickets are $20.

The Red Bird and Death If your favourite childhood stories walk on the wilder side, you’ll relish Roslyn Quin’s tales of monsters, crooks and devils set to music and puppetry. At The Bull and Bear Tavern, Flinders Lane, tickets from $15.

Singing 5 Ways to Disappoint Your Vietnamese Mother Diana Nguyen relates her colourful adolescence in Oz via the medium of karaoke, proving awkward familial relations know no cultural boundaries. At Chaplin Karaoke, Little Bourke Street, tickets from $15.

A Guide to Unhappiness Sunny Leunig, son of much-loved cartoonist Michael, brings his particular blend of magic and philosophy to North Melbourne’s Lithuanian Club. Tickets from $15

1 Man Debate

PHOTOGRAPH BY CHRIS HOPKINS

that’s the nature of being a writer and in particular a comedic writer; you’re always open to it.’’

Pobjie is following up his 2011 International Melbourne Comedy Festival show, Ben Pobjie’s Funeral, with a Fringe Festival show, Let’s Put on a Show, which he describes as a collaborative effort between himself and his audience.

It sounds like the Ikea version of comedy, a kind of do-it-yourself, I suggest. ‘‘I’ll bring out my flat pack and we’ll put it together,’’ he says.

Pobjie describes himself as the Allen key in this scenario, with the audience providing the pieces. And what if the ‘‘pieces’’ don’t fit? ‘‘Then I’m going to lose it!’’ he chuckles. ‘‘Which is what I do. I’ve put together so many things at home, not always from Ikea, but Ikea is pretty bad. It reduces me to tears whenever I have to build something, because it never goes quite right. There’s always a screw that won’t fit or things that go uneven. I once put up a trampoline and I nearly killed myself.’’

Each night the show will be different, which is what appeals, he says. It’s an exercise in exploring Pobjie’s comedic range and, he says, helping him find his place in the industry. ‘‘I’d hate to pin myself down to one kind of comedy.

When I step on stage, what do people want to see from me? So that’s what the show is based around: a sort of searching for a comedic identity. ‘‘It’s completely different to what I’ve done before.

I’m interested in that. I’m very keen on subverting expectations,’’ he says.

In person, Pobjie is self-contained, articulate and selfdoubting. At 33, he laments that he’s now ‘‘too old’’ to be considered a wunderkind. ‘‘There are so many things to do and it’s so cool to be the wunderkind, the prodigy, all these things at a really young age, and I’ve lost that opportunity. There’s nothing I can do now and people will say, ‘Wow, and he’s so young’, apart from dying.’’

Despite his success and his admirers (ahem), Pobjie says life has stagnated since he was 12, his ‘‘glory years’’. ‘‘Everyone who is succeeding in entertainment is so young. These kids, these comedians who are on TV all the time. And I’m not.’’

Is it an injustice? ‘‘I don’t know. That’s for other people to judge. But then there will be people who will say, ‘No, that’s one of the truly fair things that’s happened in the world, Ben Pobjie is not successful’.’’

Having a high-profile is a two-edge sword. On Twitter and as a result of his online writing, Pobjie is open to public comment. He’s been told not to read feedback, but as someone with a self-described fragile ego, he said he has a need to know what readers think of his work.

The Downlow

Comedian Simon Taylor, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno’s only Australian contributor, is back on his home turf. At Rue Bebelons, Little Lonsdale Street, tickets from $20.

1938: An Opera This show brings Aboriginal activist Marge Tucker, Italian Anarchists and Chinese Communists together to wham bam the White Australia Policy. At The Open Stage, The University of Melbourne, tickets from $15.

September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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STEPHEN LIGHTFOOT

TIMEOUT

When in Rome

SUPPLIED

Punk princess shakes it up

Expand your horizons with a dose of Italian cinema on the big screen

DASSHOKU SHAKE! Where: fortyfivedownstairs When: September 28 – October 7 Call: 9662 9966 Visit: melbournefringe.com.au Preview: Stephen A Russell

[ 10 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

Where: Palace Cinemas including Kino When: Until October 9 Call: 9817 6421 Visit: italianfilmfestival.com.au Preview: Stephen A Russell

ike a sleek, shiny Vespa zipping round the chaotic streets of Rome, the Lavazza Italian Film Festival cruised into town last night for a chic three week stay. Elysia Zeccola Hill, the festival director, has put together a fantastic offering for its 13th outing, ensuring there’ll be no bad luck, only buona fortuna.

You can catch last night’s opening foray, Welcome to the North, several times during the run. The quirkily comic follow-up to last year’s festival starter Welcome to the South, directed by Luca Miniero, follows hapless postie Alberto (Claudio Bisio) who finally scores the promotion he’s been after and is

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transferred home to Milan. It’s not too long before laidback colleague Mattia (Alessandro Siani) follows suit.

Another highlight, Caesar Must Die (pictured above), scored the Golden Bear at this year’s Berlin Film Festival. Directed by renowned brothers Paolo and Vittorio Taviani, it casts real inmates of maximum security prison Rebibbia as they rehearse for a staging of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Before long, the fictional violence of the play bleeds into the prisoners’ relations.

The Entrepreneur wiped the floor at this year’s Italian Golden Globes, scooping Best Film, Best Cinematography, Best Original Score and the Special Jury Award. Directed by Giuliano Montaldo, it depicts the struggle of a factory owner fighting to save his business from bankruptcy while refusing to cave into his pride and accept help from his rich architect wife. Throw in a secret affair and things take a turn for the nasty.

Andrea Segre’s debut feature Shun Li and the Poet depicts the compelling tale of shy a Chinese immigrant who forms an unlikely friendship with older Slavic fisherman Bepi. As the outsiders bond over a mutual love of poetry, racial tensions erupt in the remote community on the Venetian lagoon.

Doco lovers can get stuck into the mystery of The Lost World Cup, examining the almost mythical rumours of an alternate competition supposedly staged in South America to replace the 1942 competition lost to World War II. Italian soccer legend Roberto Biaggio commentates alongside Brazilian João Havelange and Englishman Gary Lineker.

And for the finale, New York’s finest neurotic auteur Woody Allen delivers his paean to the Eternal City, To Rome with Love, starring himself with Penélope Cruz and Roberto Benigni. Here’s hoping it lives up to his other great European love story Midnight in Paris.

Footy’s night of rites tv

BY KATHRYN KERNOHAN

or as long as anyone can remember, the Brownlow Medal has been known as ‘‘football’s night of nights.’’ As far as I can tell, that means two things. It’s a chance for gruff, tattooed footballers to stand around awkwardly in rented suits; and it’s a chance for their ‘‘other halves’’ to dress up and pretend they’re off to the Oscars, instead of evading gamblers at Crown.

The prestigious medal, first awarded in 1924, has become more and more madefor-TV every year. Footy players were once the focus; the attention is now on the WAGs. An arrival special before the medal count is an opportunity for footballers’ partners to squeeze in as many plugs for their designer/stylist/ hairdresser as they can manage.

If the player himself is quizzed about what he’s wearing, nine times out of 10 he will respond with: a) ‘‘not sure, the club organised it’’ b) ‘‘just

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September 20, 2012

grabbed whatever was around when I jumped out of the shower’’ or c) a plug for his T-shirt label. Try it at home as a drinking game, it’s fun!

Last year, Channel Seven seemed to cross the mark with its ‘‘fashion pod’’ – literally a spinning dais (or rotisserie, as some preferred to call it) in which WAGs were filmed from all angles while attempting to hold an uncomfortable smile and not tumble over in their heels.

Once everybody moves inside, things speed up ... that is, if you enjoy sitting through AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou reading the three, two and one votes from each game. Sometimes there are unintended amusements but for the most part it’s about two hours of largely inconsequential television until the count heats up in the later stages of the season.

Seven has all sorts of ‘‘vote predictors’’ based on how their experts think players will poll, and there’s always a touching tribute to recently passed greats (this year’s tribute to Jim Stynes won’t leave a dry eye in the house).

By 11pm, most of the girls are bored and restless, most of the footballers have had too

SEBASTIAN COSTANZO

elf-styled Butoh punk princess Yumi Umiumare cuts a striking figure as she pulls some fierce poses in her reflective silver kimono.

Unafraid to tackle the hard stuff, she brings the latest instalment of her ongoing DasSHOKU series, SHAKE! to fortyfivedownstairs as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival, exploring the aftermath of the devastating earthquake that shook Japan last year.

Mashing up the edgy Japanese streetdance style Butoh with elements of cabaret, Umiumare dumps cultural stereotypes, crafting something new and unique that finds light in the dark places.

“There was a big shake in the Earth, but I feel like at a human level it also hit on a very deep level, emotionally and psychologically,” she says. “That triggered me to think about what does the shake mean? It’s not only the physical Earth, but also, as humans, we shake – sometimes for joy, sometimes out of numbness.”

She travelled to Osaka a week after the disaster. “It was raw, the national psyche,” she says. “There was an amazing amount of people helping out. I was moved.”

The broad spectrum of her experiences feed into the new performance. “It’s a bit funny, a bit scary and a bit sad,” she says.

Teaming up with regular collaborators, Osaka’s renowned Theatre Gumbo, as well as local performers, Umiumare says audiences are in for a wild ride: “a big mythical scene to start with ... a little weird cabaret ... followed by a meltdown before we reach the resolution.”

With Gumbo out of town, Umiumare has been doing the choreography via YouTube. She hopes the resultant crazy jigsaw work will fit right with Fringe audiences.

“It’s a bit avant-garde,” she says. “It’s good to be confronting and experimental.

It’s a massive visual feast; a total brain-number.”

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LAVAZZA ITALIAN FILM FESTIVAL

many beers and everybody raises their glasses to celebrate the winner (last year Dane Swan, pictured, took the gong). A quick speech, a few photos and it’s time to call it a night.

Richmond’s Trent Cotchin, Gold Coast’s Gary Ablett and Essendon’s Jobe Watson are among the favourites for Monday night’s medal.

Seven, Monday, 7.30pm

TIMEOUT

SCENE&HEARD kathryn.kernohan@mmpgroup.com.au

Sub Pop stars Melbourne band Husky turned plenty of heads when it inked a deal with influential Seattle label Sub Pop earlier this year – becoming the first Australian band to do so. The four-piece released its debut album Forever So through the label in July and has been winning praise across the globe since.

Another local band, Total Control, will put its name down in Sub Pop history soon.

The band, which features Mikey Young of Eddy Current Suppression Ring, will release a 7’’ single featuring two new tracks next month. The record is available for pre-order through Sub Pop. Details: visit subpop.com.

Down memory Laneway Mark Sunday, February 3, in your diary.

That’s the date when Laneway Festival will return to Melbourne, and its home

A side of Harvest Despite Harvest promoter A.J. Maddah warning Melbourne fans not to expect any sideshows, two international acts have announced local headline shows.

While the likes of Sigur Ros and Ben Folds at Footscray Community Arts Centre.

After festival organisers were forced to deny internet rumours that Cat Power will headline the event, the line-up will be announced on Wednesday (September 26).

The festival also announced its ongoing relationship with The Dean Turner Project, a charity named after late Magic Dirt guitarist Dean Turner to support young Aboriginal people facing issues of self-harm and substance abuse.

Five will only play sideshows in Adelaide and Perth (where Harvest, in its second year, will not hold festivals), there was some respite for fans last week.

Acclaimed Brooklyn quartet Grizzly Bear (pictured) – hailed by Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood as his favourite band – will play at Billboard on November 12. The band has just released its long-awaited fourth album Shields, the follow-up to the 2009 hit Veckatimest.

Philadelphia’s The War on Drugs – touring on the back of last year’s second album Slave Ambient – will play an intimate show at Northcote Social Club the following night. The four-piece’s brand of bluesy, folky rock has drawn comparisons to Springsteen and Dylan.

Tickets to both shows are on sale now.

Details: visit harvestfestival.com.au.

mustsee Scissor Sisters New York’s Scissor Sisters return to Australia for the second time in 12 months, having headlined the Pyramid Rock Festival over summer. The disco-glam revivalists recently released their fourth album Magic Hour.

D: Wednesday V: Hamer Hall $: $77 plus booking fee

Three tracks to hear this week New Gods - On Your Side The new project for former Little Red members Dom Byrne and Adrian Beltrame, New Gods, released its debut single last week. On Your Side is a slow burning, keyboard-heavy tune. Grab a free download at tinyurl.com/8u5m8sk Bento - Diamond Days Former Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies has unveiled his new project Bento. The one-time sticksman takes lead duties in the band, which will release debut album Diamond Days next month.

Check out the first single at tinyurl. com/9s5e6sv Tim Rogers - Go On Out, Get Back Home As well as voicing the AFL finals series ads on TV, You Am I singer Tim Rogers will perform at the grand final alongside The Temper Trap and Paul Kelly. Go On Out, Get Back Home is from his new solo album. Visit tinyurl.com/c942yw5

$15 BURGER SPECIAL from 12pm - late

Includes fries plus a Stamford select beer or glass of wine.

Enjoy a delicious burger for lunch at Harry’s Bar and Restaurant.

Choose from the Magnificent Seven selection of mouth watering burgers from around the world 1. Italian mozzarella and parma ham burger 2. The great Aussie burger 3. The Mykonos grilled lamb burger 4. Thai chicken burger 5. Bombay Indian spices fish burger 6. Falafel vegetarian burger 7. Double beef American burger $15 special price - valid from 17-30th September Harry’s Bar & Restaurant - Stamford Plaza Melbourne 111 Little Collins Street, Melbourne. Telephone (03) 9659 1592

Keep in touch

September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

[ 11 ]

TIMEOUT

thestoolpigeon

WITH MICHAEL RYAN

Dive in to the Beaufort

STEVE LIGHTFOOT

and I hope they do because a messy night of Dark & Stormys (rum, ginger beer, lime), Whisky Macs (Stones and whisky) and dirty rock sounds like my perfect night out.

The man behind the bar is Dave Kerr, ex Seamstress/Sweatshop restaurant and bar and also bar writer for Broadsheet. You’ve got to respect a man who lets you carve your name, or whatever obsenity you like, into the bar.

A poster on the wall says: “Soup of the Day: beer’’. One of the beer taps is a pirate ship, another a chainsaw blade, another an empty Stones bottle. Someone has carved “Slayer’’ and “rum and your Mum’’ into the bar and tacky nautical knick-knacks are everywhere. Got the idea? Yep, only open a few months and already a dive bar. In summary: I wish it was my local.

The Beaufort, 421 Rathdowne Street, Carlton. Call 9347 8171

Pok Pok Street Food The lowdown: You can almost hear the heavens open and the angels start to sing at the arrival of this hip warehouse space pumping out spicy south Asian dishes and quality coffee to the starving Docklands worker bees. The expansive menu is split into categories such as “something light” (herby, hot and sour salads), “something small” (satays and dumplings) and “to warm the belly”, which covers rich curries, noodles and stir fries, with nothing over $14.50.

The highpoint: The Krapow Gai Kai Dow – chilli basil chicken with a mound of white rice topped with a fried egg (pictured) – makes a chaotic, colourful and altogether scoffable lunch - especially with a cold Chang beer.

The scene: It opened less than two months ago and the place is already mobbed

ELIANA SCHOULAL

Any pub that proudly puts Stone’s ginger wine on the menu is OK by me. Stones and draught was my drink of choice at uni. It was cheap, tasty and got you hammered – the only three things that mattered at the time. One IT student in my dorm even drank so much he built a partioning wall out of empty Stones bottles in his room.

Liver-killing memories like this came flooding back when I entered the Stones and rum lovin’ Beaufort in Carlton. It’s got a piratey/high seas theme but is otherwise just a good local with garage on the juke, candlelight on the tables and US diner food on the menu (apparently that fad isn’t going anywhere).

On the night we visited blokes were holding up the bar just like any other local, chowing down on deep-fried pickles and mammoth burgers while Iggy and the Stooges played on the jukebox. Nice.

The owners plan to get live music happening

with the various Docklands wildlife - most notably office groups sitting elbow to elbow at the large share tables.

The X factor: It’s a bit like city hot-spot Chin Chin has come to the Docklands, right down to the double-barrelled name.

The knowledge: The La Marzocco coffee machine grinds Sensory Lab beans from a café counter at the entrance, and also offers bargain-priced rice paper rolls, quick wraps and Western breakfast fare.

The details: 801 Bourke Street, Docklands, call 9620 4580. Open Monday–Wednesday, 6.30am–5pm, Thursday 6.30am–9pm, Friday 6.30am–9.30pm – Michael Harry

RED EMPEROR CHINESE RESTAURANT

The new Red Emperor is now open at:

M10, Level 2 (Mid Level) 3 Southgate Avenue, Southbank (directly below our previous location on Upper Level 3)

Please call the restaurant on

9699 4170 to make your bookings www.redemperor.com.au

G5174069AB-v26Jul©FCNVIC

Don’t miss the NewQuay Ice-travaganza!

Ice Sculpting on the Promenade – Sunday 9, 16 & 23 September.

For three Sundays in September, NewQuay transforms into a magical ice wonderland as a series of incredible ice carvings are brought to life before your very eyes! From 11am enjoy the spectacle, and a delicious range of dining options, all located along NewQuay’s sensational waterfront boardwalk.

Sid from Ice Age 4 LIVE at NewQuay, Sun 16 Sept!

Meet Sid the sloth from 11am – 2pm, and see a mystery Ice Age character carved in ice!

NewQuay at Docklands Cnr Harbour Esp and Docklands Dve, Close to Etihad Stadium. *Ice Age Continental Drift™ & © 2012 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

All Rights Reserved.

[ 12 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

September 20, 2012

twitter.com/newquaydockland facebook.com/newquayprecinct www.newquay.com.au

PROPERTYOFTHEWEEK

PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHRIS HOPKINS

The height of luxury This stunning apartment ticks all the right boxes

STEPHEN A RUSSELL PROPERTY WRITER

itting across from Treasury and Fitzroy Gardens, just over Spring Street on Wellington Parade South, One East Melbourne is a fantastic, contemporary apartment complex a hop, skip and a jump from the CBD. Push open the front door of apartment 1001 and you enter a serene, airy hallway finished in pale stone tiles and curving gracefully to the right. A discreet coat cupboard blends into the tall walls on the left, while a goodsized bedroom or study is on the right. A tall window looks out to the MCG and tennis precinct, with the Dandenongs visible over the treetops of East Melbourne. There’s plenty of storage thanks to built-in wardrobes.

Next up, an immaculately presented bathroom is striking, with the walk-in shower behind a glass partition looking out directly through a sheer wall of glass to those fantastic views. A gorgeous stone basin sits atop a dark wood pedestal, with an inset shelf tucked beneath a mirrored cabinet. The laundry next door doesn’t scrimp on the stylish finish either, proving that this apartment is all class.

A bedroom with abundant built-in storage features chocolate-coloured carpets and huge floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over the tennis precinct and the greenery of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Government House, with the sweep of Sidney Myer Music Bowl to one side.

The curving hallway opens out with a flourish onto the stunning, open-plan living space that forms the warm heart of this apartment, with a gas fire on one side and two walls of sheer glass, shaded by remote control blinds, that offer stunning views.

Running along the interior wall, the beautiful kitchen features a large stainless steel Miele oven, dark wood cabinets with a pull-out pantry, concealed fridge-freezer and

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built-in convection microwave and espresso machine. The fawn-coloured benchtop is replicated on a sizeable island bench with second, gently-sloping sink.

In one corner an enticing sunroom is ideal for the gently warming spring, with windows that open to overlook the leafy spine of Wellington Parade South. One wall is given over to a chocolate-coloured padded leather wall encompassing a vast entertainment unit with sliding wall concealing storage for a CD and DVD collection, or a crafty drinks cabinet.

A hideaway door slides open back to the main bedroom, again finished with dark carpet. An immense glass wall overlooks the music bowl, while the bed faces an intriguingly undulating white glass wall that curls into a bold column. Follow this round, past a dressing room lined with floor-to-ceiling built-in wardrobes, and it is revealed this glass column is hollow, given over to a showstopping shower. Two stone basins top a dark wood double vanity, with a bank of mirrored cabinets. A deep tub is perfect for luxuriating in while gazing out to the Dandenongs.

With fantastic leisure facilities in the building, including gym, steam room and beautiful lap pool, this is the place to be. ■

1001/279 WELLINGTON PARADE SOUTH, EAST MELBOURNE BEDROOMS Two BATHROOMS Two LIVING Open-plan living/dining THE REST Caesarstone kitchen with stainless steel appliances and large Miele oven, study, laundry with wine fridge, gas fire, sunroom, circular shower, tri-zoned ducted heating/cooling, CBUS-2 lighting system, remote control blinds, access to swimming pool, gym and steam room, two car spaces PRICE ON APPLICATION PRIVATE SALE AGENT Run Property, call 9514 8888 Property of the week is a review of a property visited by a journalist. Agents’ Choice and Places We Love are real estate promotions based on information supplied by real estate agents.

September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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DESIGN

Bold as Branson Young designers share a font of knowledge. By Stephen A. Russell

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expensive most of the big design conferences were. He felt compelled to offer a solution.

“I asked them if a cheaper, single-day version would be better. The way we’re describing Sex, Drugs and Helvetica is, if Richard Branson ran a conference space this would be it. It’s no frills, high-quality, but affordable content.”

Aimed at the light pockets of emerging designers, the $60 early-bird ticket is enticing.

“Our focus is about delivering the best quality content we can, from our friends in the industry, for an affordable price. We’d rather do four $60 conferences in one year than one $350 three-day course.”

The gathering, to be held at the Melbourne City Conference Centre, will present speakers from creative practices such as Motherbird, The Hungry Workshop, Beyond The Pixels and Chase & Galley, with the focus on walking attendees through complete projects, looking at all the highs and lows and providing practical advice.

Simonis says it’s about more than perving at pretty final products. “It’s not about sitting in

STEVE LIGHTFOOT

ex, Drugs and Helvetica may seem like a crazy name for a one-day graphic design conference, but there’s a method to the madness.

Nick Hallam (second from left) is one of four twenty-something founders of the event, along with Andy Murray (left) Zac Solomon and Tenielle Simonis. Hallam came up with the name over a few beers with Murray.

“We wanted it to be really obvious it was for the design community without calling it something blase and boring like Graphic,” he says. “We wanted to convey that we’re young and interested in doing things differently.”

Hallam, one of the brains behind non-profit organisation Positive Posters, says the group feels there is a disconnect between the types of events aimed at the design community and the needs of the designers themselves. So, after an hour and a half bouncing ideas and drinking a few more beers, they hit on the striking name.

Something of an entrepreneur, Hallam struck on the idea for Sex, Drugs and Helvetica when he overheard students talking about how

awe, leaving with a fantastic feeling for a few days but then wondering what you actually learned. We want to give an honest experience, so [attendees] can overcome the three-day buzz and use what they learn in their design career.”

She says their comparative youth helps keep the Sex, Drugs and Helvetica team connected.

“I feel like we’re in touch with the finer

details, being relatively new to the industry, having been through the education process, understanding what was missed. We want the things we wished we had known.” ■ Sex, Drugs & Helvetica at the Melbourne City Conference Centre, 333 Swanston St on September 28. Tickets: $80. Details: visit: sexdrugshelvetica.com.

expert knowledge more buyers better results

1102/325 Collins Street, Melbourne RARE OPPORTUNITY IN SUBLIME COLLINS STREET

3

9697 8888

668 Bourke St Melbourne 3000

9604 8888

[ 14 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

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PRIVATE SALE

Price Exquisite & luxurious 3br apt close to Paris end of Collins Inspect Street. Features hardwood flr entry, ducted heat/cool, spacious living/dining area, balcony, kitchen w long breakfast bar & Technika apps, mirrored BIRs, master w WIR, Contact 2 ensuites w modern fittings, separate laundry, 2 secure car spaces in tandem, lock-up storage, secure intercom entry.

85 Queensbridge St Southbank 3006

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September 20, 2012

$950,000 Plus Saturday 11.00 - 11.30am Sunday 11.00 - 11.30am Steven Ly 0407 620 261

299 Spring St Melbourne 3000

8256 7300

1811/163 City Road, Southbank SLEEK AND SPACIOUS APARTMENT LIVING Superb 3br 18th flr apt in the heart of Southbank. Features huge living/dining w heat/cool, balcony, modern kitchen w SS apps & b/fast bar, mirrored BIRs, master with ensuite, central bthrm w Hansa fittings, Euro laundry w washer/ dryer, double glazed windows t/out, secure CP, video intercom entry, 24/7 security, heated indoor pool & gym.

414 St Kilda Road Melbourne 3004

9866 5988

65 Whiteman St Southbank 3006

8687 9577

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PRIVATE SALE Price $600,000 - $640,000 Inspect Contact Agent Contact Steven Ly 0407 620 261 Lilian Law 0408 816 682

micm.com.au

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16/410 QUEEN STREET, MELBOURNE BEDROOMS Two BATHROOMS Two LIVING Open living and dining THE REST Architect-designed apartment, fully equipped kitchen, laundry room, built-in wardrobes, hydronic heating, refrigerated cooling, terrace, secure undercover car space PRICE $700,000-$770,000 AUCTION September 22 at 3pm AGENT Galldon Real Estate, call 9670 3330

1510/265 EXHIBITION STREET, MELBOURNE BEDROOMS Three BATHROOMS Two LIVING Combined living and dining THE REST Corner apartment in the Regency Towers complex, open-plan kitchen, two marble bathrooms, laundry facilities, two balconies, two secure car spaces, walking distance to parkland, Victoria Parade and Lygon Street PRICE $875,000 PRIVATE SALE AGENT Melbourne Living, call 9682 3713

802/8 WATERVIEW WALK, DOCKLANDS BEDROOMS Two BATHROOMS Two LIVING Open living and dining THE REST 8th-floor apartment, modern kitchen, laundry facilities, built-in wardrobes, video intercom, airconditioning, floor-to-ceiling windows, balcony, offstreet car space, communal pool and gym PRICE $660,000 PRIVATE SALE AGENT City Residential, call 8614 8999

expert knowledge more buyers better results

85/8 Wells Street, Southbank

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ENORMOUS EXECUTIVE APARTMENT WITH STUNNING CITY OUTLOOK Rarely available super spacious 2-bed, 2-bath apartment in an unbeatable location. Featuring neat kitchen with granite btops, Gaggenau apps & Miele d/w, expansive house-like lounge/dining area, undercover balcony with uninterrupted city skyline views, sizeable master bedroom with WIR & ensuite, bedroom 2 features a full length BIR, both bedrooms also enjoy striking views to the CBD, both bathrooms feature marble vanity, 2 secure undercover car spaces, central heating & cooling throughout, double-glazing for superior insulation, Euro laundry with dryer, video intercom entry, restricted lift access, resort-style facilities including pool, tennis court, gym & BBQ area.

414 St Kilda Road Melbourne 3004

PRIVATE SALE Price Inspect Contact

Suits Mid $700,000’s Buyers

By Appointment Peter Marangos 0409 961 292 Andrew Kwong 0419 509 637

9866 5988 micm.com.au September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

[ 15 ]

MELBOURNE 16/410 Queen Street

MELBOURNE TERRACE A masterpiece of architectural flair designed by renowned architect Nonda Katsilidis. Spacious 2 bdrm residence is filled with abundant natural light. Open plan living-dining & entertaining area, large bdrms with BIR’s, master bdrm with ensuite, elegant central bthrm. A large terrace with views to Flagstaff Gardens & Queen Vic Market, a beautifully appointed kitchen, sep laundry room, hydronic heating, refrigerated cooling & a secure undercover car park.

MELBOURNE 6/10 Bank Place

Auction: Inspect:

22nd Sept at 3pm Thur 5:30-6pm & Sat 2:30-3pm Contact: Don Gallicchio 0418 148 580 Jeffrey Leong 0433 220 088 2

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MELBOURNE 2/114 Hardware Street

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STEP BACK IN TIME WITH STYLE Character filled 2 bdrm apt in historic Charter House. Feats an inviting living & dining area with brilliant natural light & timber floors, elegant marble bench top kitchen complete with abundance of cupboard space, timber deck terrace, bdrms with large BIR’s, European laundry, & r/c air-con, impressive grand foyer, low density development of only 12 apt.

A rare opportunity to secure a much sought after & priced piece of real estate.

ELM TOWER CORNER STUNNER

You will be proud to own this charming, spacious & unique warehouse style apt within a desirable low density building of only 15 amidst a charming residential lane setting. Offering open plan living with high ceilings & floor boards, parquetry floor hall way leads a spacious kitchen with abundant cupboards, 2 generous size bdrms feature large BIR’s, central bthrm, separate powder room, large laundry room/storage room, ducted heating/cooling. Located within seconds of the vibrant restaurant & café precinct.

Cosmopolitan 1 bdrm apt with privileged crn position in an unbeatable central location. Feats include light filled living area & bdrm with mirrored BIR, large windows, sparkling bthrm with laundry facilities, magnificent Melb Skyline & kitchen with gas cook top. Conveniently located close to the city’s major retail precinct & within a short stroll to vibrant cafés & restaurants along Hardware Ln. Ideally positioned close to transport providing easy connection in all directions inc Melb Uni & The Docklands. Currently leased at $350 per week.

Ideal for astute investors or owner occupiers.

Private Sale $470,000 Inspect: Sat 11-11:30am & Wed 5:30-6pm Contact: Jeffrey Leong 0433 220 088

Private Sale $310,000 Inspect: Sat 11-11:30am Contact: Michael Torcasio 0434 351 468

MELBOURNE 805/505 St Kilda Road

CITYSIDE

Forming part of the architecturally appealing ‘Toorak ’residential tower, this superbly appointed apt portrays a magnificent landscaped vista across Fawkner Park from its entire living & entertaining areas. Feats spacious open plan entertaining area which provides sweeping views to lush parklands from floor to ceiling glass doors, 3 spacious bdrs both with lavish marbled ensuite & ample BIR’s, elegant bthrm, concealed laundry facilities, gourmet marble kitchen with Gaggenau appliances & double side by side security car park + storage cage.

This chic 2 bed, 2 bath apt boasts modern living with an exceptional location. Just a short walk to Flagstaff Gardens, close to the CBD and Queen Vic Market. A generous floor plan incorporates large open plan living area with adjoining kitchen, double bdrms (with BIR’s) central bthrm with laundry facilities & ensuite. Other property feats include; balcony, aircon, study alcove, building security entry & car space.

Private Sale Inspect: By Appointment Contact: Jeffrey Leong 0433 220 088

Private Sale: $575,000 Inspect: Sat 12-12:30pm Contact: Michael Torcasio 0434 351 468

September 20, 2012

2

WEST MELBOURNE 500/58 Jeffcott Street

PICTURESQUE PARK SETTING

[ 16 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

22nd Sept at 1.30pm $440,000-$480,000 Thurs & Sat 1-1:30pm Jeffrey Leong 0433 220 088 Michael Torcasio 0434 351 468

MELBOURNE 606/318 Little Lonsdale

IT’S HARD TO BE HUMBLE

51 Hardware Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000

Auction: Price: Inspect: Contact:

Also available 1 bdrm & 1 bdrm + study from $389,000.

|

Tel +61 3 9670 3330

Fax +61 3 9670 3331

|

www.galldon.com.au

1

d n a P I CL

SAVE

LEATHER & FABRIC FURNTURE ALL REDUCED TO CLEAR NEW FURNITURE ALSO AVAILABLE ON ORDER

normally $225 pp

Bathhouse & Sanctuary entry

Your choice of a 60 min Relax Massage or Thalgo Facial

Lunch at the Pavilion Café

A spa gift to take home

O

Moran sofas, chairs, sofa beds, assorted recliners, many colours available

COME IN AND CHECK OUR PRICES AND BE AMAZED

escape for a day

an d ly

pp

Only 210 pp $

ne

MORAN CLEARANCE CENTRE

DAY RETREAT PACKAGE

an B d “ pl es ook e s i vo ti p C uc m re it as en ng he e se y e t o n W q ia s r su per f y t v e uo l e bj p ec er ou ou k te t t son r b ch ly ” o . av C oo er ai on la di kin at bi tio lity n g. the . sa

A Weekly Advertising Feature

Limited Stock, be early to avoid disappointment!

EX-DISPLAY, OVER RUNS, PROTOTYPES, DISCONTINUED AND NEW LINES ALL REDUCED TO CLEAR

BOOKINGS: T. (03) 5321 6000 hepburnbathhouse.com

Richmond Interiors | 65 Burnley St Richmond | 9428 4898 10am-5pm Monday to Saturday & 11am-5pm Sunday www.richmondinteriors.com.au INTERIOR DESIGN CONSULTING NOW AVAILABLE

Offer expires 31st October 2012

G5400383AA-dc20Sep

G5407779AA-dc20Sep

G5407578AA-dc20Sep

L S AL T SS EN RO RTM AC PA E D

500

$

VOUCHER

58000

Classique OC Vanity

Taps & accessories not included KAISBC1151

RRP $269900

50000

VOUCHER: $

VOUCHER: $

Legend Gas Fire DV36L

RRP $299900

Logs with stainless steel surround KAIGFDV36L

RRP $257200

Riviera King Bed

Light cherry. Mattress not included KAIFRIBSLC

100

$ RECEIVE

52000

VOUCHER: $

400 HODDLE STREET, CLIFTON HILL 1300 774 774

OPENING OCTOBER 2012 299 MELBOURNE RD, GEELONG 1300 693 693 www.schots.com.au

‘unearth the uncommon’

38000

50000

VOUCHER: $

Bintang Extension Table

RRP $199500

Solid teak. Asi Java chairs sold seperately $79ea KAI53DAS281A

24000

VOUCHER: $

VOUCHER: $

RRP $259500

Top-grain black leather 2 seater sofa KAI11FSC2SLBL

Madrid Feature Panel

Mosiac Tiles 1200x1200mm KAITME17PATA

RRP $125000

*Offer ends 7th October 2012, unless otherwise extended.

Further terms and conditions apply, see in-store or online for details.

September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

[ 17 ]

YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE TM

13 24 25

WEEKLY Classifieds Adult Services

Cougar Ladies The best of 30's, 40's & 50yo.

We're eager to please & a total tease Ph: 9495 2738 swa4281be

Credit Card 9912 8479

Ladies 18 + CALL FREE* 9912 8424 * Local/STD/mobile charges apply.

Hot Body Rubs 100 Johnston St Collingwood 9416-0099 swa7801be barabings.com

SWA6646B

✩ ◆ Jade ◆ ✩

24 Buchanan Rd, Brooklyn

Relaxation Full Body Care With great people & the best facilities.

BODYLINE

G5353313AA-dc5Sep

For free quotes call now: 1300 550 901

Adult Services

Ph:

beautiful transexual

Plumbing

☎ 0409 183 006

SWA1428XE.

13 24 25

G5349086AA-dc29Aug

45-47 Tope Street, South Melbourne SWA5109BE

Hot swa7218be

G5351947AA-dc27Aug

9696 9199 G5355135AA-dc28Aug

www.adcentre.com.au/vic Email: classifieds@yourweekly.com.au

Body Rubs

9326 8388

9315 2922

Ladies Welcome Non-sexual www.bodyline.net.au

CLASSIFIEDS

MALE ESCORT Gary, heterosexual. Tall male escort for females and couples. www.psfw.com.au 0439 494 184 swa7982xe

Discreet Rear Parking (via lane way) CREDIT CARD & EFTPOS WELCOME Ladies Warmly Welcomed Mel ref P43 B1 / Tram 57 Stop 22 77 Race Course Road, North Melbourne

21 Thomas St,Yarraville

Naughty at 40, busty brunette.

Warm and affectionate.

0459 683 745 swa3453xe.

All makes and models

swa5693be

Hot GossipHo

$105 1/2 hr FULL Service!!!

(03) 9696 4666

466 City Rd, South Melbourne

Ladies for Gentlemen

t

Hot Open 10am till late Hot PH: 9366 6444 NOW! 42 Cromer Avenue, Sunshine North Escorts Available Phone 0423 729 945

G5398833AA-dc19Sep

$2.26 per min. pay/mob ex. Provider: Skyecloud.

We come to you for all your heating needs • Super fast changeover heaters and hot water systems • All Areas - Metro and Country

Open 7 days Escorts Available

G5399868AA-dc17Sep

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064

q

9314 8800

Affordable Prices From $65

G5349368AA-dc29Aug

GUYS CALL 1900 934

GWENDOLINE Size 8, lean, firm, busty, sexy.

Relaxed girlfriend experience.

0427 470 858 24/7 swa7512xe

Octopuses

392 Victoria Street Richmond Call 9428 5077

SWA4141BE/SWA4142B

Heating

We speak Korean, Thai, Phil, Chinese, English, Vietnamese.

FAR EASTERN RELAXATION Now With More Young, Beautiful, Exotic, Friendly Ladies

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Correction Centre BDSM, fetish and fantasy. www.correctioncentre.com 20 Hocking Street, Coburg North.

Phone 9354 6020 SWA487B.

G5403502AA-dc19Sep

DIRTY WOMEN ONLINE 24/7 FREE TRIAL 9900 4940.

Dirty as you like.

Beautiful NEW Hot Ladies....

Plus your usual favorites.

STUNNING - COURTNEY 23yo Sexy size 8 pole dancer body.

Wild and raunchy.

Outcalls: 9495 2741 swa4281be

SWA7355BE

10 Years Exp, Family Fully insured Business, Best value Removals - Storage - Packing P h o n e 0 4 3 3 2 5 5 6 4 9 7 days

G5347193AA-dc27Aug

A S t r e s s Fr e e R e m o v a l

Adult Services

f of ng 0 oki $2 bo r 1h

Adult Phone Talk

Furniture Removals

It’s Fun Time..... With....

swa4281be

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PH - 1300 ESCORT 24hrs/7 days

G5385898AA-dc12Sep

Trades & Services General

Hot www.hotgossipmelbourne.com.au Hot

Don’t Listen To anyone else!!

Lots of Ladies Ladies welcomed

9429 8242 339 Punt Road RICHMOND swa1061b

G5398778

Tilers

Lana - 22yo toned brunette Charlotte - 19yo new to industry Nadia - gorgeous busty babe

FREE QUOTE

Madison - the wild cat queen and many more new girls

554-556 Swanston St, 554 - 556 Swanston Carlton St, Carlton

30 % DIGITAL ANTENNAS THIS WEEK

G5385366AA-dc10Sep

CALL OUT FEE $0

POINTS + BOOSTERS

0409 888 228

Ph: 9347 9347G5399054AA-dc19Sep 6000 Ph: 6000

G5400864AA-dc19Sep

OFF

24 HOUR BROTHEL This week’s new girls

Stevie - fresh curvaceous blonde

TV and Home Entertainment Services

AAA ANTENNAS AERIAL INSTALLED TODAY

MANHATTAN TERRACE

SWA4281be

G5351522AA-dc28Aug

0432 774 645

SWA216BE

G5406778AA-dc20Sep

AARON’S TILING Over 30 Years Experience Specialising In: • Floor & Wall Tiles • Old & New Homes • Kitchen & Bathroom Renovation Free Measure & Quote.

www.escortguide.com.au

^18 and over swa198e

*subject to variation

Only 5 mins from CBD

FOR ALL YOUR CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES

13 24 25 Email: classifieds@yourweekly.com.au or go to our website: www.adcentre.com.au/vic

[ 18 ] CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

September 20, 2012

Classifieds 13 24 25

13 24 25

Weekly Classifieds Public Notices

CLASSIFIED DEADLINE

Health and Wellbeing

Situations Vacant

f Ocean Embrace f

ROOF TILERS

Blend your body & mind.

0421 174 971 Close to Melbourne Central.

For The City Weekly are as follows: Proof deadline: All Classifieds:

Massage Therapy

Situations Vacant

Tantric Education

Monday 1.00pm Monday 3.00pm

APPRENTICE DRAINER (PLUMBER)

Massage / breath work / body flow. artoftantra.com.au 9824 0098

Phone 13 24 25

1st Year. Application from western suburbs of Melbourne only be considered. Email r´ ´esum´ ´ es to: katamdrainage@optusnet.com.au

The Lomi Lounge

8.30am-5.00pm, Monday - Friday.

All major credit cards accepted.

Experience utterly unique. www.thelomilounge.com Ph: 0402 617 022 CBD.

Hairdresser Required G5353095AA-dc5Sep

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL ADVERTISERS

FOR RESULTS! Phone:

13 24 25

Fax: (03) 9238 7676

CL ASSIFIEDS

TIFFANY RELAXATION In CBD for gents and ladies. Appointment only. 7 days. Hours: 10am - 7pm.

Please phone 0403 668 381.

EUROPEAN MASSAGE In convenient central city location.

Please phone Julia: 0417 506 582. melbournecitymassage.com

NEW

G5407816

DIESEL MECHANIC

Professional Are you offering

ADVERTISERS PLEASENOTE G5355609AA-dc29Aug

Much hardship and difficulty is caused to job-seekers by misleading advertising placed in employment columns.

Our Professional Employment and Situations Vacant columns are reserved for advertisements which carry a SPECIFIC and GENUINE offer of employment.

All employment advertisements must state clearly the type of job offered and remuneration offered. (i.e. salary package, retainer plus commission or commission only).

Royal Garden Queen International Massage Luxurious Studios With Shower Facilities Male/Female Waxing 140 Queen Street Melbourne CBD

G5386939AA-dc12Sep

G5395764AA-dc20Sep

Call 1300 665 983

Junior Sales Assistant Bakers Delight Footscray. We are looking for bubbly and enthusiastic people to join our team for after school and weekend shifts. Full training will be provided by our team. Junior wages apply. Please email resume to: davidandsheri@optusnet.com.au

Forklift Workshop Technician Wanted Altona based business requires workshop technician to perform repairs on Internal Combustion & Battery Electric Forklifts.

Excellent remuneration package for experienced candidates from within The Material Handling Industry.

Please forward your resume to:lharvey@unitedequipment.com.au or contact directly on 131 607 G5407799

G5407828

MASSAGE ~ SENSUAL $55. 10am-11pm.

Basement, 178 Collins St, CBD. Please call 9654 6635.

Keep Fit + Meet People!

Earn up to $300/wk Deliver & collect catalogues No Outlay.

Established Diesel Service Centre requires a qualified Diesel Mechanic in heavy transport equipment. Excellent working conditions.

Immediate start.

• THAI COMBINATION MASSAGE • BEAUTY & TABLE SHOWER • MALE & FEMALE STAFF • MON-SAT, 10.00AM-10.00PM

Massage ~ Costume

Massage Therapy

Relaxation Massage

9690 4888

G5346799AA-dc29Aug

Shiatsu & Lomi Lomi. 7 days.

10am-9pm. Japanese staff. Free drinks. Appt. call 03 9044 9230 Level 1, 115 Elizabeth St, CBD.

$ Amazing Opportunity $

K & K Fleet Service Phone: 9931 1666 or email meryl@kkfleet.com.au

★ Japanese Massage ★

Relaxation. 305 Queensberry St, North Melbourne. 7 days.

Telephone: 9077 7620.

7 days, 10am to 8pm.

204 Barkley Street, Footscray.

Phone 9689 0360.

Traditional Thai, relaxation with oil, foot massage and deep tissue.

Qualified Thai females.

Open 7 days. 10am-10pm 221 Clarendon Street South Melbourne

9510 6768

6/180 Commercial Rd, (enter Izett St) Prahran.

Double massage, 9533 8877.

Health and Wellbeing

AWESOME THAI MASSAGE

13 Chapel Street, Windsor

Massage Therapy

142-144 Frankston-Dandenong Rd, Dandenong 3175

A ULTIMATE Pleasure. Body-soul relaxation, prof sports massage, sciatica & back pain relief. European exp. Michelle: 0431 442 956.

• Traditional Thai • Deep tissue • Foot • Relaxation • Remedial Qualified Thai Females 7 days, 10am - 10pm

Also 1st Year apprentice. Point Cook/Laverton area. Must have extensive experience. Rose: 0419 348 476. Resume: rose@161hairroom.com.au

"genuine employment?''

G5350108AA-dc27Aug

The Competition and Consumer Act provides that advertised prices for goods and services which attract GST should be GST inclusive.

Prices should not be quoted as being 'excluding GST' or 'plus GST' or by the use of words or phrases conveying similar meaning.

Readers are entitled to expect that the advertised prices are the actual prices at which they can purchase the particular goods and services.

Metro Media Publishing will not knowingly accept for publication any advertisement which may be in breach of the Competition and Consumer Act or any other relevant law.

CLASSIFIEDS

Deluxe Thai Massage

G5347781AA-dc29Aug

G5352047

Situations Vacant

Tradesman 1st, 2nd or 3rd year Apprentice Roof Tilers required.

Must be hard working and reliable, western suburbs area.

Call Reece 0422 435 911.

Situations Vacant

Need A Massage ?

9642 4368

Clayton South, 0410 680 558.

Bentleigh East, 0451 174 946.

Also at 29 Johnson St, Reservoir

NEW KOREAN Management.

Korean wet room body scrub with milk, herb, sea salt and full body massage. 41 3 High Street, Northcote. 7 days. 9489 8788.

www.royalgardenbodycare.com.au

Sauna & Spa available

9460 2148 G5349586AA-dc29Aug

To Let

ORIENTAL MASSAGE

Beachside

High quality service and low price.

47 Dickson Street, Sunshine. Call 9311 9994. 259 Ballarat Road, Footscray. Call 8307 0114.

ALBERT PARK 1BR modern apart, granite kit, lge bath, polished floorboards, OSP, courtyard. $425pw. 9700 3140.

"Commission only'' jobs are only accepted in these columns PROVIDED that this is clearly stated in the ad AND the employer is paying Workcover and Superannuation. If not, then these advertisements MUST be placed in an alternate classification such as Self Employment Opportunities.

Celebrations To advertise in the Celebrations section please contact us on

13 24 25

Placing misleading advertisements is an offence against the Competition and Consumer Act and all advertisements are subject to the publisher's approval. For further advice contact the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission on 9290 1800.

Whilst Metro Media Publishing make every attempt to screen job advertisements, WE DO NOT ACCEPT LIABILIT Y FOR ADVERTISERS WHO FAIL TO C O M P LY W I T H T H E S E REGULATIONS.

Photo courtesy of:

www.harviephotography.com.au

Review all the latest property September 20, 2012 CITY WEEKLY – YOUR COMMUNITY VOICE

[ 19 ]

OPEN 7 DAYS

m-5.30pm, Mon-Thurs 9a , Sat 9am-5pm Fri 9am-6pm, pm Sun 11am-5

WAREHOUSE

BOSCH WASHER BOSCH DESIGNER COOKING PACK

• Multi function oven • 62 litre capacity • Double glazed door • Electronic touch timer • Stainless steel finish

QUALITY BRAND

$597

MIELE FAMILY CARE VACUUM

• Slide out rangehood • 3 speed levels • Concealed switches

RECOMMENDED BY CHOICE MAGAZINE

$429

RRP

CLIFTONS PRICE

$298 $1797

DYSON CORDLESS VACUUM

$1497

CLIFTONS PRICE

$469

RRP

CLIFTONS PRICE

$367

• Stainless steel easy clean hob • Enamelled cast iron pot rests • Thermo electric ignition safety device

NOBO HEATER SALE

SAVE

30%

OFF RRP

$2997

RRP

CLEARANCE

$200 OFF ALL MIELE WASHERS

PRICED FROM

SAVE

CLIFTONS PRICE

$1499

MIELE DISHWASHER

• 3.0 Star energy rating • 4.0 Star wels water rating • 14 Place settings • Eco sensor • Free-standing or built under

SAVE $200

$1099

CLIFTONS PRICE

• Dual acting radial fan • 10 layer stainless steel fillers • Halogen lighting

SLIMLINE SAFE RADIANT PANEL HEATERS • Economical & efficient • Clean, healthy • Ideal for sufferers of asthma, hay fever and allergies

END OF SEASON

MIELE WASHER

BESSER

• 7 function oven • Perfect clean enamelled interior • Catalytic back liner

TWICE THE SUCTION

$567

WASHER SALE

MIELE COOKING PACK IMMER

• Twice the suction of any other lightweight cordless vacuum cleaner in use.

• Powered by Dyson digital motor.

CLIFTONS PRICE

• 4 burner gas incl. wok burner • Electronic ignition • Flame failure • Stainless steel base

RRP

• German made • 2200 watt power • Super silent setting

$819

RRP

RRP

CLIFTONS PRICE

• Stainless steel classic finish • 5 multiple spray levels • 12 place settings • 3.5 star energy rating • 4 star (WELS) water rating

RRP

$889

FISHER & PAYKEL DISHWASHER

$500OFF RRP

$2497

SENSATIONAL PRICE

$799

RRP

• 6.5kg load • 1000rpm variable spin • 4.5 Star water rating • 4.0 Star energy rating • 15 minute express wash

YOUR APPLIANCE SPECIALIST STORE

$899

CHEF STOVE

CHEF 540MM GAS UPRIGHT • Conventional gas oven • Huge 80 litre gross oven capacity Separate grill • Sep

CLIFTONS PRICE

$593

FREE DELIVERY ON ALL THESE PRODUCTS Phone 9489 8400 to order

141-147 QUEENS PARADE CLIFTON HILL

* P I C T U R E S F O R I L L U S T R A T I O N P U R P O S E S O N LY – A L L P R O D U C T S A V A I L A B L E W H I L E S T O C K S L A S T.