HEALTH
Perfectly imperfect… Understanding perfectionism in young people and helping them overcome it.
Does your child worry excessively about their homework or assignments, feeling the need to get things ‘just right’? Perhaps they spend much longer on a task than is really necessary, or find it difficult to get started at all? Even daily tasks such as getting dressed or packing a bag can become a major event. Whilst most parents want their children to be organised and do well at school, some children’s need for perfection can lead to stress, procrastination or paralysis. So what is it that drives perfectionism in young people and how can we help them let go of its menacing grip? Perfectionism can be very alluring because it creates the feeling of being in control. When we feel that things are within our control, our world seems more manageable. The downside is that despite one’s best efforts to do things perfectly, there is always a chance that we may not. Trying to get things right all the time is not only exhausting, it reinforces the belief that everything we do must be right all the time. Children who worry a lot tend to overestimate the likelihood that something bad will happen if they don’t get it ‘right’. As a result, they may become anxious, immobilised or
Perfectionism can be very alluring because it creates the feeling of being in control.
Speech Language Literacy Life Skills
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spend far too long on tasks or situations where they feel the need to do a perfect job. Perfectionism in young people can also cause them to become overly fixated on small flaws in themselves and others, or to downgrade achievements. It is important to help young people understand that mistakes and failures are a normal and inevitable part of life. Trying to get things right all the time will get in the way of getting things done. Ask your child, “what’s the worst thing that will happen if you don’t get this right?” Talk openly about their answer, helping them desensitise to the possible negative outcomes such as getting in trouble from a teacher if they haven’t finished their homework. Though it may sound counter-intuitive, encourage your child to leave something unfinished, make a mess or make a deliberate mistake in their homework. Have fun with it. They need to learn that their fear of severe consequences is normally unfounded,
that life goes on and the consequences they worry about usually aren’t that bad after all. Here are some statements to teach your child: ● Sometimes I make mistakes or do silly things but I’m still a good person. ● I don’t always have to get things right. ● It’s okay to make mistakes, everybody does and that’s how we learn. ● Just leave it now and see what happens. ● I have done my best and now it’s time to move on.
Narelle Gillies Psychotherapist 0431 594 141 www.perspectivetherapies.com
Narelle Gillies is an experienced, fully qualified psychotherapist and counsellor specialising in the health and wellbeing of teenagers, young adults and their parents. Narelle is passionate about helping others gain self-awareness along with strategies for improved emotional wellbeing, better relationships and inner peace.
September Literacy Workshop
• SCHOOL HOLIDAYS SEPTEMBER 26th - 28th • TIME 9:30am - 12:30pm
• Building on early literacy intervention for reading and writing • Workshop aimed at reading strategies & letter sound knowledge • Motivation to write! The program is not limited to children with difficulties, but any child who needs to build skills for early literacy awareness, systematic phonics, vocabulary development, and sharing ideas on paper!
Find us at our local Lane Cove Clinic - Unit 5, 46 Burns Bay Road, Lane Cove
www.sydneytherapyco.com.au
12 I THE VILLAGE OBSERVER I NO. 266 I SEPTEMBER 2017
0449 619 182
COST
$325
(inclusive of all the resources + group sessions + individual program).
