Understanding perfectionism in young people

Perfectly imperfect…

Understanding perfectionism in young people and helping them overcome it.

Does your child worry excessively about their homework or assignments, feeling the need to get things ‘just right’?

Perhaps they spend much longer on a task than is really necessary, or find it difficult to get started at all? Even daily tasks such as getting dressed or packing a bag can become a major event. Whilst most parents want their children to be organised and do well at school, some children’s need for perfection can lead to stress, procrastination or paralysis. So what is it that drives perfectionism in young people and how can we help them let go of its menacing grip?

Perfectionism can be very alluring because it creates the feeling of being in control. When we feel that things are within our control, our world seems more manageable.

The downside is that despite one’s best efforts to do things perfectly, there is always a chance that we may not. Trying to get things right all the time is not only exhausting, it reinforces the belief that everything we do must be right all the time.

Children who worry a lot tend to overestimate the likelihood that something bad will happen if they don’t get it ‘right’. As a result, they may become anxious, immobilised or

Perfectionism can be very alluring because it creates the feeling of being in control.

spend far too long on tasks or situations where they feel the need to do a perfect job. Perfectionism in young people can also cause them to become overly fixated on small flaws in themselves and others, or to downgrade achievements.

It is important to help young people understand that mistakes and failures are a normal and inevitable part of life. Trying to get things right all the time will get in the way of getting things done.

Ask your child, “what’s the worst thing that will happen if you don’t get this right?” Talk openly about their answer, helping them desensitise to the possible negative outcomes such as getting in trouble from a teacher if they haven’t finished their homework. Though it may sound counter-intuitive, encourage your child to leave something unfinished, make a mess or make a deliberate mistake in their homework. Have fun with it. They need to learn that their fear of severe consequences is normally unfounded, that life goes on and the consequences they worry about usually aren’t that bad after all. Here are some statements to teach your child: ● Sometimes I make mistakes or do silly things but I’m still a good person. ● I don’t always have to get things right. ● It’s okay to make mistakes, everybody does and that’s how we learn. ● Just leave it now and see what happens. ● I have done my best and now it’s time to move on.

Narelle Gillies Psychotherapist 0431 594 141

www.perspectivetherapies.com

Narelle Gillies is an experienced, fully qualified psychotherapist and counsellor specialising in the health and wellbeing of teenagers, young adults and their parents. Narelle is passionate about helping others gain self-awareness along with strategies for improved emotional wellbeing, better relationships and inner peace.

Speech Language

Literacy Life Skills

September Literacy Workshop

• SCHOOL HOLIDAYS SEPTEMBER 26th - 28th • TIME 9:30am - 12:30pm

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• Building on early literacy intervention for reading and writing • Workshop aimed at reading strategies & letter sound knowledge • Motivation to write!

The program is not limited to children with difficulties, but any child who needs to build skills for early literacy awareness, systematic phonics, vocabulary development, and sharing ideas on paper!

COST $325

(inclusive of all the resources + group sessions + individual program).

What is a Compounding Chemist?

A customer asked us to explain what a ‘compounding chemist’ does. In short, we can make any medicine that you might need.

Pharmacy

Phil Wade

Wade’s Compounding Chemist and Naturopath

Your local family chemist that meets all your pharmacy and naturopathic needs. Tel: 9420 4959 www.international wellnesscentre.info

WHY MIGHT YOU NEED A MEDICINE SPECIALLY MADE FOR YOU?

Often, effective and helpful medicines are no longer imported into Australia because our market is too small, being only around 1.5% of the global economy.

Also, many manufactured medicines have restricted ‘one size fits all’ dosing. Examples include thyroid medication and melatonin. Others, like omeprazole for infant reflux, are unstable and need to be prepared freshly due to their short shelf life.

As such, we work closely with you to provide these and also offer an advisory interface with your GP.

WHAT IS OUR ROLE AS YOUR LOCAL FAMILY CHEMIST? We make protocols that may help to:

• Clear up your skin faster. • Reward teenagers with better overall health through painful and tiring growth spurts • Recover from flu quickly with gentlyacting herbs and Vitamin C blends • Reduce your reaction to hay fever

The high price of sugar

A recent article published in the International Journal of Dental Research has drawn correlations between the amount of money spent on dental care and the rate of sugar consumption.

Dental

Dr Mark Casiglia

The results shouldn’t come as a surprise, as we all know the facts very well. Dental plaque, the bacteria found in the mouth around the teeth and gums, thrives on sugar. It multiplies rapidly, causing gum infection, and produces acid as a result of metabolising sugar, creating tooth decay.

The researchers evaluated data from 168 countries for the year 2010. They analysed the rate of tooth decay, gum disease and tooth loss and compared the results to the costs of dental treatment and sugar consumption. The good news is that they didn’t simply document household white sugar consumption, but also hidden sugars consumed in processed foods. These are often the most insidious of all. We expect sugar in soft drink, confectionary and ice cream, but we aren’t often • Improve your fertility and healthy pregnancy • Reduce aching knees, hips etc that are often wrongly put down to ‘just old age’.

We help the sick and elderly recover and remain comfortable and healthy in independent living rather than submit to institutionalised care.

We also provide complementary medicines to help improve your Wellness Outcomes.™

As your neighbourhood family chemist, we offer a full line of products at competitive prices. And yes - we can price match. For further information, google “Lane Cove Wellness Centre”.

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES.

CASE STUDY 1: A toddler contracted a diagnosed flu.* She was referred to us after the doctor correctly advised her to ‘ride out’ her ‘whooping’ type cough and heavy congestion without antibiotics. We prepared a homoeopathic treatment and herbal tonic together with our tailor-made immune support (‘Winter Mix’) vitamin C blend. Mum reported an immediate relief of her symptoms. CASE STUDY 2: A builder, aged over 60yo, contracted an immobilising back spasm during an awkward lift. Following a week of physiotherapy, he received a treatment of frequency specific microcurrent** along with herbal anti-inflammatory meds. The next day he was completely out of pain with full mobility.* CASE STUDY 3: A lady, mid-30s, suffered PMS [pain (grade 8), fatigue (7), mood swings (9)]. When we added a Diascorea/ progesterone cream (that a GP prescribed on our referral) to her FSM and herbal/nutritional treatments, she quickly improved to reach grade zero symptoms after years of trying.*

* Full details available on request ** Grade 5 evidence available on request

aware of their presence in savoury foods.

The study concluded that “for every additional 25gm of sugar consumed per person per day - which amounts to roughly eight sugar cubes or a glass of sweetened lemonade - the costs of dental treatment in high-income countries increase on average by $100 US dollars per person per year.”

Sugar consumption to cost of dental treatment in Germany was 90-110gm sugar per person per day (22-28 teaspoons) and $281 US dollars per year in dental treatment. Next were Switzerland, Denmark and the USA.

The highest rates of sugarrelated dental disease were found in Mexico, Guatemala and Mauretania. “If the target of 50gm of sugar per person per day set by the World Health Organisation could be reached, this would result in savings in the cost of treatment within Germany of 150 Euros ($201 US dollars) per person per year. “To be able to reduce the burden of nutrition-related illnesses, a balanced mix of educational work and food-policy initiatives, along with innovative technological solutions, are needed”, said a coauthor of the study. In 2014, Mexico introduced a sugar tax to curb the problem. Within the first year, the consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages had decreased by 5%, and by the end of the second year, that number had doubled to over 10%. Keeping the cost of sugar down is as simple as avoiding it. A diet low in sugar and processed foods passes on more than just dental health benefits.

What is depression and could I have it?

Psychiatrist

Dr Dillon Cheah

MBBS, FRANZCP Consultant Psychiatrist

2 Greenwich Road, Greenwich, 2064 Ph: 9433 3555 www.northsidegroup.com.au

Feeling sadness is a universal experience, but depression is a medical illness.

In some, depression is severe and disabling enough to be considered a mood disorder that can require help from trained professionals. In those with clinical depression, the low mood is sustained for long periods of time, sometimes without a known reason.

Other symptoms of clinical depression can include diminished interest in things that would normally bring joy (eg. spending time with friends or loved ones); sleep disturbance; change in appetite and weight; low energy levels; poor concentration; increased anxiety, and thoughts of death or suicide. What causes depression? Although it is sometimes difficult to identify the cause of depression, it doesn’t make the depression any less debilitating. Factors that mean you could be more likely to develop depression include family history of mental illness; drug and alcohol use; medical illnesses (including chronic pain, stroke, heart disease); adverse life events (eg. abuse, divorce, unemployment); as well as other mental health conditions, such as severe anxiety.

What treatments are

available? Treatment for depression is widely available and often very effective.

As a first step, it is always useful to consider lifestyle factors, such as ensuring adequate sleep, regular physical activity, a healthy balanced diet and managing stress levels.

Beyond these, there are a range of effective treatments available for depression - talking to your GP is a good way to start narrowing down which options will work best for you.

Psychological treatments are usually conducted one-on-one by a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor, though others may benefit from a group setting or online programs.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (or CBT) is an established psychological treatment for depression. Established medical treatments include antidepressant medication that may be prescribed by GP’s, psychiatrists or other medical practitioners. Many antidepressants recalibrate levels of the brain neurotransmitter serotonin, and there are well over a dozen different antidepressants that are commonly prescribed in the treatment of depression.

What is the role of family and

friends? The role of family and friends can be pivotal in a person’s recovery. They can offer support, understanding and encouragement, not only at the start but throughout the recovery process. This is especially important as the natural inclination for the depressed person will often be to isolate themselves. A support person may be able to help with problem solving, medication compliance, symptom monitoring and by also helping the depressed person obtain the help they need.

Further help

www.northside.group.com.au www.beyondblue.org.au www.sane.org

Enjoy a carefree lifestyle at Lane Cove Gardens

Units

• Overlooking Chatswood Golf Course and Lane Cove from just $400,000*

National Park. • Modern reception which includes hair salon and sunny lounge areas. • Dining room and indoor swimming pool. • A peaceful oasis just 10km from the city. • 24/7 On Call Assistance should you need it.

VISIT US MONDAY TO FRIDAY, 9AM-5PM, Visit us Monday to Friday 9am-5pm, Saturday 10am-12 noon or for an appointment call Melinda on 1800 911 989. SATURDAY 9AM-12 NOON OR FOR AN APPOINTMENT CALL 1800 911 989

Immunity Boosters

Winter Mix - A tasty, self-dissolving mix super-charged with abundant natural vitamin C [ascorbic acid and Citrus Bioflavonoids] and so much more. This ‘must-have’ for your medicine cabinet provides a strong base for a healthy immune fight-back against Spring-time hay fever and virus infections. Phil’s Green Smoothi - Wonderful as a cereal supplement for breakfast-on-the-run. Helps start your day with 105 energy-producing dietary nutrients that keep you going for hours. Kids or adults all benefit. Phil’s Supasmoothi Plus - Great as a meal replacement. Just shake it up with water or almond milk and voila! The perfect, tasty solution for busy people and watch your body re-shape too. Phil’s Oils - 50% of your daily fats/ oils should be omega-3 in nature. Taken regularly, this blend of seed and nut oils may trigger fat-burning leptin hormones in your quest to become slim for Christmas. Glowing, smooth skin may be an added bonus!

Wades - your family chemist proudly serving Lane Cove for over 30 years. We don’t just deal in sickness – we deal in health too!

Wade’s Compounding Chemist and Naturopath 152 Burns Bay Road, Lane Cove. Tel: 9420 4959 www.internationalwellnesscentre.info

NATURAL NAIL POLISH WITHOUT THE NASTIES!

NAIL POLISH $25.00

NAIL POLISH REMOVER $20.00

Discover the Podiatrist formulated, natural alternative nail polish that is now available at Lane Cove Podiatry.

This unique product contains the antifungal agent of tea tree oil, garlic bulb extract, lavender, proteins and vitamins C & E which can minimise the appearance of nail yellowing. The special formula nourishes and hydrates dry brittle nails, improving the wear time of your nail colour whilst keeping the nasty bugs away. The range includes luxurious colours, nail care solutions, nail treatments and nail polish remover. It contains no harsh chemicals such as Formaldehyde, Formaldehyde Resin, Toluene, DBP or Camphor and is suitable for diabetics. Feel free to come in and see for yourself. Our beautiful range of rich luxurious colours and products is on display at:

LANE COVE PODIATRY 57 Tambourine Bay Road, Riverview.

Phone 9420 4673, email: feet@lanecovepodiatry.com.au

www.lanecovepodiatry.com.au

Choose Physio

You may have heard the recent advertisements highlighting the benefits of modern physiotherapy in getting Australians of all ages and ability moving freely in work and play.

Whether you are an elite athlete, a weekend warrior, a not-so active person, an adult or a child, physiotherapy can make a difference to your quality of life. Many people put up with pain and stiffness, rely on pain-killing medications to get through a day and reduce what they do in life because they are unaware of what help is available from physiotherapy. At Burns Bay Physiotherapy, we are interested in working with you to get the best outcomes possible.

Doctors refer more patients to physiotherapists than other health practitioners because they are experts in the assessment and treatment of problems involving muscles, joints, ligaments and nerves. However, you do not require a referral from a doctor to visit a physiotherapist.

Physiotherapy helps you maximise your potential and keep you living life to the fullest. We can help you recover from injury, reduce pain and stiffness, increase mobility and help prevent further injury. Physiotherapy is a cost effective way of improving your quality of life.

BURNS BAY PHYSIOTHERAPY. Ann Ross, Jill Ross, Kirsty Tradell, Dom Russell. 161 Burns Bay Road. Phone 9427 8333. Easy parking. www.burnsbayphysiotherapy.com.au

Men’s health

Unfortunately, men are generally shy of health care and often too late in coming forward. This month we focus on some health issues specifically relating to men.

Medical

Dr Tim David

BURNS BAY

MEDICAL CENTRE

Tel: 9427 4855 www.burnsbaymedical centre.com.au

If you have a health or wellbeing question please send it through to editor@ thevillageobserver. com.au. What is male pattern baldness?

It’s a worry for many men and it runs in families, with about 60% of men having significant hair loss by age 50.

Professor John Murtagh, my favourite reference, says that about 100 hairs are shed from the scalp daily. The pattern develops as a bald patch on the crown along with a receding frontal hairline. Many men these days choose to shave their scalp to look good. Girls, just love your man through it.

What can I do?

Going bald is a genetic lottery and basically, it’s incurable. Toupees and hair transplants work for some. Shampoos and ointments generally do not help, despite claims to the contrary. Two prescribable medications - Minoxidil and Finasteride - may help and are definitely worth having a go via your doctor. These are pricey and require lifelong treatment if seen to help.

Should I be concerned about lumps in the scrotum?

Testicular cancer is at the top of the list of concerns. A painless lump has to be investigated, particularly in a man under 50. Sometimes there is a loss of sensation, a heavy feeling or an ache, but not usually so in cancer.

A Hydrocele is a soft swelling that can get very large. It is a build-up of clear sterile fluid, sometimes after an injury but usually not. Little boys and older men are more prone to hydrocele. The fluid can be drained via a needle, or for a permanent solution, surgery may be required.

A Varicocele is caused by a clump of extra veins in the scrotum. Usually on the left side, it is harmless but may cause some pain or a dragging feeling. Symptomatic varicoceles can be removed surgically.

What should I do?

A testicular ultrasound via your GP will define the problem. Regular examination in the shower is recommended for all men. Most lumps are harmless and easily treatable.

What other health issues should I be aware of?

Foreskin hygiene is important to prevent infection and inflammation.

Babies and young boys do not need foreskin care. Once a boy can retract his foreskin - usually by age 6 or 7 - he should be taught the following, as should all uncircumcised males. Failure to do so will end up with smelliness, soreness and possibly more such as infection and penile cancer. Simply retract the foreskin to expose the head of the penis. Wash well with soap and water in the shower. Dry the area well and replace the foreskin. Do this at least weekly.

Impotence is a hidden and very embarrassing problem for many men.

The stats are that 3 in 10 males at age 45, and 2 in 3 males at age 70, have this problem. Many men find it difficult to talk about, but will find sympathetic information and advice from their doctor.

There are multiple possible underlying physical causes including alcohol excess, diabetes, some medications, ageing, and reduced testosterone hormone production to mention a few.

Psychological causes include stress, fatigue, anxiety, depression (and some of the drugs used to treat these), marital disharmony, and sometimes simple ignorance, amongst others. The process of impotence treatment is multi-dimensional and requires a sensitive discussion and investigation by your doctor or specialist.

Vasectomy is an option some men take for contraception and one often encouraged by their wives. It is the most common method of sterilisation in men. In this procedure, the vas deferens, the tubes that conduct sperm from the testicle to the storage sacs (called seminal vesicles), are cut and tied off. It is successful with a 1 in 500 failure rate. Men DO NOT lose their virility as a result of vasectomy.

The prostate is a male organ that can give lots of trouble.

Prostatitis is an infection of the prostate. It can be persistent and recurrent. It requires prolonged treatment with antibiotics along with prostate massage.

Prostatism is prostate enlargement, thus squeezing the outlet tube from the bladder and causing reduced urine flow. Very treatable.

Sorry no jokes in this month’s article. Men’s health is all way too serious.

YOUR LOCAL MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS FLU

SERVING THE LANE COVE COMMUNITY FOR 36 YEARS VACCINE

BURNS BAY

MEDICAL CENTRE

l Dr Tim David l Dr Alison Browne l Dr Margie Coleman l Dr Audrey Saurajen l Dr Felix Choi l Dr Peter Arnaudon l Dr Dominic Barnes

NOW AVAILABLE

Download iphone & android apps search “Qualitas Health” 175 BURNS BAY ROAD, LANE COVE. PHONE 9427 4855 ONLINE APPTS AVAILABLE: www.burnsbaymedicalcentre.com.au

Found a lost hearing aid? We can find the owner.

Did you know that all hearing aids have serial numbers and can be tracked back to their owner? If you find a hearing aid, just drop it into WHAT The Hearing Centre or call us on 9420 2300. We will then contact the manufacturer to locate the owner.

Technology in hearing aids is constantly improving. The latest miniature hearing aids can connect to an iPhone, so if you lose an aid, the map function on the phone will locate where you first lost it! Your phone also acts as a remote control for the hearing aids, so you can change volume, noise settings and more.

Phone calls and music can also be streamed via your phone directly to your hearing aids, so you can make calls ‘hands free’ in both ears.

Contact WHAT The Hearing Centre to find out more about this new technology and whether it can benefit you. Located at 174 Longueville Road, Lane Cove or phone 9420 2300.

CORRECTION

In last month's TVO, the Rotary Club of Lane Cove excitedly publicised the gift of Jim and Jean Holmes to the Lane Cove community.

Their gift? $50,000 to be used for the purchase of a new community bus, an asset which will benefit so many who might otherwise be unable to remain involved.

However, the wrong photo was submitted for publication and so herewith, a beautiful photo of the very generous couple. All of Lane Cove offers our sincere thanks to Jim and Jean.

RIVERVIEW COLLEGE – FOUNDER’S DAY

I would like to thank Lane Cove Council for electing Helen Street Reserve for some treatment from a group of students from St Ignatius College in Riverview. As their special local ‘challenge’ for their Founder’s Day, the students worked like crazy to spread tons of bark chips to upgrade our old covers – finishing off with a great sausage sizzle. Well done and thanks from all the people and families who enjoy our Helen Street Reserve so much! From Margaret Radford, Lane Cove North.

Stop mumbling!

If you feel people are mumbling, maybe it is time to have your hearing tested.

WHAT

Your local family owned independent hearing centre, established 17 years ago, with Damian O'Connor. No pressure to buy, just sensible professional advice. Your expert personal audiologist with easily over 10,000 hearing aids fitted!

The demise of the queue

Shopping, as we know it, is about to altered for good. By Liz Foster.

Amazon Go is about to launch in Melbourne and as a market disrupter, it can't be overestimated.

Of course, we've already lived through multiple incarnations of retail change. Online shopping, for one, and self-serve checkouts. Today it's commonplace to order everything online, from your groceries, to clothes, homewares and more.

Been searching high and low for those purple stilettos with the pink bows? Try visiting Shoes of Prey, a site where you can tailor and order your own shoes down to every part, including heel height, width, material, colour, lining and sole.

Desperate for that pair of pizza slice earrings? The Mouse Market offers hand sculpted dollhouse-sized miniature food crafted from polymer clay into tiny but perfect jewellery.

But back to Amazon, which was in fact one of the first online shopping sites to launch, way back in 1995 - practically eons ago in digital terms.

Building on the success of their online retail environment, Amazon Go is a bricks-and-mortar store. The difference is that you never have to wait in line. You simply swipe in via your app, fill up your basket and walk back out. No lines, no checkouts, no registers. Computer cleverness has been 'weaved into the very fabric of the store' via algorithms and so on, that register your items and charge your credit card accordingly.

Me, I'm not sure I'll be keen to routinely do my shopping there (although I'm looking forward to experimenting with putting things in and out of my basket in a rather juvenile way). The temptation for impulse purchases is bad enough online, but cashless transactions will make it ridiculously easy to overspend.

The worst part of it all though is the sad demise of the queue. Queueing is practically a national sport here, whether it's to catch the bus home or to buy gelato in the middle of winter. It gives us something to do when there's time on our hands.

This new retail concept means no more mad rush to checkout 3 which has just opened; no more letting someone with one item go in front of your full trolley. No more general chat with the cashier - is it still raining outside, would you like a receipt, have a nice day. No need, in fact, to talk to anyone.

But I suppose at least it gets you out of the house, which is more than online shopping does - progress for sure.

SHARING OUR LOVE OF FINE FOOD, PATISSERIE AND COFFEE

Special Any Tartine + Beer = $13.95

Modern Aussie BRUNCH

Classic brunch options and playful modern plates.

Authentic French DESSERTS

Just indulge yourself a little.

Specialty COFFEE

It's the quality and consistency we pursue.

Lane Cove hosts sustainability conference

Well-known food and sustainability speakers will be presenting at the 33rd NSW Environmental Education Conference.

Hosted by the Lane Cove Hunters Hill Green Schools Network, the event will be held at St Ignatius' College in Riverview from 27-29th September.

The conference will bring together NSW environmental educators from government and community to reflect on their practice so that they can “make change happen”.

Make the Change is a framework developed by the Australian Association of Environmental Education NSW, in partnership with NSW Office of Environment and Heritage, to provide a unified approach to sustainability education and engagement across NSW.

Keynote speakers will include Costa Georgiadis, AAEE NSW Patron and host of Gardening Australia; Joshua Gilbert, a Worimi Man, Australian Geographic's 2016 Young Conservationist of the Year and Green Globes Award winner; Professor Dennis Foley, a Gadigal Man, Board Member and Consultant with the NSW Indigenous Chamber of Commerce; Patrick Shirvington, artist/ illustrator and bushland manager; and Build Bangladesh, a local impact investment platform to take Bangladesh forward socially, economically and environmentally.

To register or for more information on the conference, see www. nsweeconference.org.au

Oliver Brown will discuss his ‘foraging, food swapping and hunting’ experience at a guest lecture at the FoodFaith community garden.

For more information about FoodFaith, the open events or the upcoming conference, see:

Food Faith: www.foodfaith.com.au

Crop Swap: www.cropswap.sydney/

terms-and-conditions/

Australian Association of Environmental Education:

ww.aaee.org.au/

Lane Cove Council:

www.lanecove.nsw.gov.au/ Environment/Pages/default.aspx

33rd NSW Environmental Education Conference:

www.nsweeconference.org.au

Blinds | Shutters | Curtains | Awnings

Locals are set to benefit from key events and guest lectures open to the public on Friday 29th September and Saturday 30th September.

BUSH TUCKER WORKSHOP

- NARELLE HAPP

WHEN: 9am - 10am, Friday 29th September

Narelle Happ, horticulturalist from www.agardenforlife.com. au, specialises in native garden and permaculture design. Narelle will be advising locals on bush tucker plants for gardens and balconies.

CROP SWAP AND GUEST LECTURE - OLIVER BROWN

WHEN: 9.30am - 11.30am, Saturday 30th September

At the Crop Swap event, locals can swap garden goodies, learn about bees and hear amazing speaker Oliver Brown talk about ‘foraging, food swapping and hunting – a ‘survivor’s’ year in Sydney’. Oliver spent one year avoiding the supermarket and eating only what he could grow in his backyard, hunt for himself or barter. He lost 15 kilos in the process and now has a deep appreciation for where food comes from.

WHERE: Lane Cove FoodFaith

community garden, Hughes Park, 304 - 314 Burns Bay Rd, Lane Cove

RSVP: info@foodfaith.com.au

MENTION THIS AD A FURTHER 10% DISCOUNT