CMYK The Paper | Thursday, June 20, 2013
5B
ENTERTAINMENT
Too much of a good thing? Father-in-law visits too often Dear John: My husband “Andy” and I live in the same town as his parents. My father-in-law comes over to visit every day. Sometimes twice a day! Andy doesn’t have the heart to talk to his dad about this. In fact, I don’t think it bothers him all that much, but if it were my family, I’m sure he’d feel differently. One evening I had gotten in my pajamas early, about 7:30, and he came over and actually asked me why I was getting ready for bed so early. He’s a nice man, but I just like my privacy and space — not to mention I’d like some time alone with my husband. — Privacy Needed in Parma, Ohio Dear Privacy: You probably realize that your fatherin-law’s loneliness is what brings him around so often. That said, you do have a right to your privacy and to have time alone with your husband. If your goal is to make your point without causing hard feelings, and to do so with the support of your
John Gray husband, then follow these steps. First, carve out several standing “dates” with your husband each month. Ask him to put it on his calendar, and you do the same. That way you’ll always know that both of you have made room for the time you need alone as a couple. Second, sit down with your husband and, without directing blame toward anyone, ask him to back you up with a plan that helps contain your father-in-law’s visits. Your solution could be a standing invitation to Dad, say, for Saturday morning, or maybe Sunday in the late afternoon so that he can enjoy both your company for a couple of hours each week. When Dad is there, give him
your complete attention. Let him know that he is fully loved. With your husband’s support secured, you should also mention to your fatherin-law that you welcome him for this weekly visit, but because of time constraints, you’d prefer that he call before stopping by to see if either of you are available. The key to successfully communicating your message will be the words you choose and your tone of voice. Dear John: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. When “Jack” and I met, both of us were cigarette smokers. I quit smoking more than two years ago because I have a bad case of asthma. Jack does nothing to curb his smoking around me, despite knowing how much it bothers me. I wouldn’t complain so much except for the fact that he smokes at least two packs a day! My clothes smell, and I can’t breathe. When I complain, he gets
angry. What should I do? — Needing Fresh Air in Holland, Mich. Dear Fresh Air: Some of his reticence to meet your demands may be his resentment at your ability to stop, which makes his own addiction to tobacco that much more obvious. As much as you may want him to quit, the decision to stop is his to make, and even if he wants to do so, tobacco’s addictive qualities won’t make that easy. You have two choices: In a tone devoid of accusations, you can ask him to agree on some ground rules that work for both of you. Perhaps he could agree to smoke outside of the house, or in a particular room in the house that has a window that can be opened. If he refuses, for your health’s sake, consider the other alternative: Move out and agree to see him only in smoke-free environments. The risks of secondhand smoke are real. We all compromise to make our relationships work. Some compromises are simply
Dear John: My fiance and I have lived together for three years. We have a solid relationship, and we intend to get married next year. One issue we cannot resolve, however, is how he should deal with an ex-girlfriend who keeps trying to re-enter his life. She writes him sexually suggestive letters! He thinks the best method of dealing with the situation is to ignore the mail. I feel he should write her that he is in a committed relationship. — SheDevil Woes, in Edmond, Okla. Dear Devil Woes: You’re concerned about one of two things: Either you’re worried that she won’t get the message, or you’re afraid that he truly doesn’t want to give her
the message in the first place. As to the first concern, you should trust him to handle it in the way that works best for him. After all, he knows her better than you do. But I believe the second concern is your real issue. If that’s correct, you have to be honest with him about your doubts. Tell him that you love him, and that you need reassurance that he also loves you. Ask him to let you know if he has doubts about you as a couple, or if he is interested in anyone else. I think he’ll reassure you that you’re the only woman in his life. If so, trust him to handle the situation in a way that works for him. John Gray is the author of “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.” If you have a question visit www.marsvenus.com.
House of Clay in Braselton has summer camps
WORKING IT OUT
JANRIC CLASSIC SUDOKU
unwise choices. Finally, look into the new E-cigarettes, the “smoke” is a mixture of steam and nicotine, and it might help him get started down the road of kicking this deadly habit.
SOLUTION
The House of Clay in Braselton announces new operating hours as well as activities and classes offered during the summer. The pottery studio is open Tuesday through Saturday from noon to 5 p.m. at 5117 Highway 53 in downtown Braselton. Owner Sue Compton, an accomplished potter and art educator, offers individual wheel instruction and handbuilding classes. Personalized lessons begin at $25 for a two-hour session. Several summer camps for kids are planned and registration is under way. July 15-19 is the date for a Clay Camp. During this week, children will be using several different types of clay and processes to achieve exciting projects such as pinch or coil pots, birdhouse planters, cups or bowls and wind chimes. A Paint Camp is scheduled
for June 24-28 and July 2226. Children will be painting with different types of paint. Painting applications will not be limited to paint brushes. Kids will be creating their own master pieces as they learn techniques used by the masters such as Van Gogh and Monet. July 29-Aug 2 will be the Textiles and Prints Camp. This week is all about mixed media. Children will make a loom and learn how to weave, paint or tie dye a shirt. Printmaking and scrapbooking will also be included as well as other art projects. Camps are $75 each and must be paid at the time of registration. For full information, call the House of Clay at 770.5198900 or e-mail HouseOfClayBraselton@gmail.com. Visit their Facebook page www. facebook.com/HouseOfClayBraselton .
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