forum PAGE 6A | THURSDAY, MAy 31, 2012
Inventor kept us from having to touch that dial A few years ago, the TV Land cable channel erected several statues around the country of such legends as Bob Newhart, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore and Jackie Gleason. Someone should build a statue of Eugene Polley, who died recently at the age of 96. Back in the 1950s, Polley, an engineer for Zenith, invented the first wireless TV remote control. He didn’t know it at the time, but he changed the world by letting us change the channel with our feet propped up. Aunt Mae and Uncle Harry were the first people I knew who had a Zenith TV with a remote control. I thought it was an absolute marvel. When you pressed the button on the remote, a motor actually turned the channel knob. At this point, for the younger set (pun intended), televisions once had a knob to change from channel to channel. They also had a volume control knob to adjust the volume. Now, back to our story. It was pretty amazing to watch the knob magically turn. It was like something straight out of Bewitched, which incidentally is featured in a statue of actress Elizabeth Montgomery in Salem, Mass. I thought it was the greatest thing and couldn’t wait to go and visit my aunt and uncle. Aunt Mae was a bit of a free spirit and was also the first person I knew that had an 8-track tape player in her car. She was about the same age as my mother, but she was a big fan of Elvis Presley and had a tape or two in the car. She also made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by mixing the two together. I thought that was cool. Part of the reason I was in awe of the TV remote control, is because I spent
Harris Blackwood part of my life as a TV remote control. Our set did not have the wireless gizmo, so the job fell to me and my brother to change the channel, adjust the volume and move the rabbit ears. At this point, I digress to explain to the younger set that rabbit ears was the name given to pair of extended antennas that had to be adjusted at every channel change. When we got a color TV, we added a little aluminum foil to make the picture a little better. That’s all l have to say about that. When you are a human TV remote, your parents might dispatch you into the den to warm up the TV. Again, for those who missed that era, TV sets had numerous tubes that required a little time before the picture appeared. I doubt Polley realized what an impact his invention would have on American life. The first one looked like something straight out of a science fiction movie. He was presented an Emmy in 1997 by the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, along with coinventor Bob Adler. When Adler died in 2007, Polley said the invention was “the greatest thing since the wheel.” I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it changed the world for a generation of TV watchers, not to mention a generation of kids who didn’t have to crawl around on the floor to change the channel. Harris Blackwood is a Gainesville resident whose columns appear weekly.
government contacts U.S. Rep Rob Woodall, 1725 Longworth House Office Building, Washington, DC 20515, 202-225-4272, fax 202225-4696; 75 Langley Drive, Lawrenceville, GA 30045, 770-232-3005, fax 770-232-2909; woodall.house.gov. Sen. Saxby Chambliss, 416 Russell Senate Office Building, Washington, DC 20510, 202224-3521; 100 Galleria Parkway, Suite 1340, Atlanta, GA 30339, 770-763-9090, fax, 770226-8633; chambliss. senate.gov Sen. Johnny Isakson, 120 Russell Senate Office Building, Washington, DC 20510, 202224-3643, fax, 202-2280724; One Overton Park, 3625 Cumberland Blvd., Suite 970, Atlanta, GA
30339, 770-661-0999, fax, 770-661-0768; isakson.senate.gov State legislators District 45 Sen. Renee Unterman, 121-E State Capitol, Atlanta, 30334, 404-463-1368; P.O. Box 508, Buford, 30518, 770-945-1887; renee. unterman@senate.ga.gov District 47 Sen. Frank Ginn, 321-A Coverdell Legislative Office Building, Atlanta, 30334, 404- 656-4700; P. O. Box 1136, Danielsville, 30633; 706- 680-4466; frankginn@senate.ga.gov District 49 Sen. Butch Miller, 2420 Browns Bridge Road, Gainesville, 30504, 678-989-5301; 109 State Capitol, Atlanta, 30334, 404651-7738; butch.miller@ senate.ga.gov
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Knowing better but not doing so When Nix, the unpredictable, funniest kid in our family, was 4 years old, he found himself in some bit of trouble, though we’ve now all forgotten what it was. Only the punch line lingers in our minds. “Nix, why did you do that?” his mama asked in her strictest tone. The cotton-topped youngster spread his hands, palms up, his blue eyes wide at his predicament. “I don’t know. I know better, but sometimes I just can’t help myself.” See, Nix, at 4, summed up what the rest of us need to remember: Most of the time we know better than what we actually do. As Mama would say, “We cut off our noses to spite our faces.” If we all stop and think about it, many of our undoings are our own doings. But we just can’t help ourselves. In my speaking contracts is a clause that says payment is due on the day of event and if not paid, there is a 10 percent penalty. It normally works beautifully and keeps me from having to chase money once the engagement is said and done.
Ronda Rich A few years ago, a company didn’t pay on time which put that clause into play. The event I had done was a huge success so they had already engaged me for the following year. When they balked at the penalty, I insisted. They paid it, but canceled the next engagement. I wasn’t surprised. At the time we debated the clause, I knew there was a good chance it would cost me much more in the long run. I knew better, but I didn’t do better. I just couldn’t help myself. I’m thinking now about all of this because of a letter I received from a disgruntled reader who chastised me for encouraging a friend and offering prayer when she was going through a difficult time. The woman maintained that such offers were worthless and empty. Giving her money or food was
the better solution. The woman, who actually signed her name (most letters like this are anonymous), wrote that in the course of two years she, a pharmacist, had lost her job, marriage and home and was reduced to living out of her car. Words of encouragement and prayers meant nothing to her, she noted. She needed more. I understand that. I wrote back and was glad I did because when her second note arrived, I read between the lines to see what truly had happened. The woman is a pro at alienating folks. This is not a good trait to have in times when jobs are so hard to come by because if budget cuts come, the difficult folks, no matter how talented or smart, will be the ones who are released. Given the choice of keeping one of two employees, would you choose the nice one or the mean one? I know someone who, literally, cannot get along with anyone. Wherever she goes, she cuts a wide swath of discontent and quarreling. She huffs and puffs that no one likes her and, as you might imagine, it’s everyone else’s fault,
never hers. She’s the victim. Whenever Claudette tells me a story of some kind of conflict that the woman’s in, I laugh and say, “There she goes again. Winning friends wherever she goes.” I often say, “Does she not realize that the common denominator in all these disagreements is her?” You would think that sooner or later, folks like this would realize they’re the masters of many of their own disasters, either by attitude or actions. You’d think they’d straighten up and take charge. You’d think. We can all do better especially when we know better. Sometimes we have to overcome our natural inclinations and take control. It’s so simple that even a child can figure it out. Why can’t we? Ronda Rich is the Gainesville-based author of several books, including “What Southern Women Know About Faith.” Sign up for her newsletter at www. rondarich.com. Her column appears weekly.
Prepare for hurricane season boredom The “hurricane season” is now upon us. This past week, we survived our first threat, with the potential for more to come over the course of the next five or six months. That said, I recall past experiences with hurricanes and tropical storms, and won’t be unprepared again. Three valuable lessons I learned from previous skirmishes with these storms: 1. The television doesn’t work without power (a crushing blow); 2. To children, Monopoly game pieces are good eatin’; and 3. Hardly any televisions are battery-operated. With that in mind, I am currently in the midst of preparations to alleviate the hellish boredom that comes with being without power, without light, without a microwave oven, without TV, VCR, or AC, but with a bunch of people stuck in a hot room with nothing to do. My wife finds these lack of modern amenities endearing – a chance to interact and be creative without the squawk of contemporary convenience. She envisions inviting
Len Robbins family members over to our house to sit around in the dark and talk, engage in light-hearted banter, play games or participate in popular sing-a-longs like “Kumbayah,” “Michael Row the Boat Ashore” or “Yammo Be There” – which was, according to news reports, one of Saddam Hussein’s favorite methods of torture. I’d rather stick a giant Tsquare up my rear (another Saddam fave). Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, love being around them. But I can’t be around anybody for more than five hours at a single sitting, even myself. That’s why I take a nap every four hours. Thus, I have prepared a listing of some things you can do during a hurricane to break up the monotony, have some fun, and pre-
serve your sanity. You are welcome in advance. ■ Darts. Darts don’t require any electricity. All you need is a dart and a board, and if you have children, a suit of rigid armor. While fun during the daytime, the merriment multiplies with no lighting. ■ Hide-and-seek. Kids love hide-and-seek, and adults can too, if they know how to play. Here’s what I do: Right before you’re about to play, grab a good book and a flashlight. When you hide, lock yourself in the bathroom or a closet or in the attic. Those boneheads won’t find you for hours. ■ Cards. If you’re stuck in the house for hours, you might as well make a buck. Break the piggy-banks, put the candles on the dining room table, and start a lengthy round of Texas Hold ‘Em (Side note: Most kids under six don’t know the rules of Texas Hold ‘Em, which could be an advantage if you can find some to play). ■ Contests that provoke
Publisher Dennis L. Stockton
P.O. Box 430 Hoschton, GA 30548 www.clickthepaper.com
General Manager Norman Baggs Editor LeAnne Akin
sleep. I love sleeping during storms. Problem is, I always have all these people running around my house, yelling and stuff. The goal is: Get everybody else to sleep too. For children, you have to wear them out. One way to do that is contests. Some surefire suggestions include: Push-up or pull-up contests (children are notoriously weak); night boxing (a knockout is a form of sleep); spinning contests (first kid to pass out wins!); drinking games (warm milk laced with Benadryl). For adults, I’d suggest the following, in order: drinking games (substituting Benadryl with vodka), then spinning contests, more drinking games, then night boxing. Remember: If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. Or is it the other way around? Len Robbins is editor and publishers of the Clinch County News in Homerville. His column appears weekly.
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