CMYK 4B
The Paperâââ| Thursday, September 4, 2014
ENTERTAINMENT
Own up to mental illness, say no to hush-hush solution Dear Carolyn: Iâve struggled with depression and self-injury among other things for years, and I recently had a wake-up call that I needed to change. Instead of going back to college this fall, Iâll be taking a leave of absence and going into an inpatient treatment center to get better. I know Iâm making the right choice, but what should I tell people? My parents are very much of the mindset this should be kept hush-hush and mental illness should not be mentioned at all costs. I know itâs a hard subject for many people to understand, but I am tired of the burden of having to keep everything secret. I feel as if telling people myself without going into detail is somewhat empowering and will prevent people from gossiping. If the story comes straight from me, it removes most of
Carolyn Hax the incentive to speculate. I also wonât have access to my phone or computer while I am in treatment, so I donât want people to think Iâm ignoring them. I know I donât owe an explanation to anyone, but is telling the truth to people who ask and I feel comfortable telling really so bad? Am I setting myself up to be known as âthe crazy oneâ? â L. Only among people ignorant of mental illness and its prevalence. Plus, Iâm not sure what you accomplish by keeping secrets solely to appease the judgmental and under-informed.
I would never pressure someone wary of the truth into hoisting the honesty banner for its own sake. But someone in your position â who wants to tell the truth, who is not ashamed of it, who isnât seeking attention for it, who anticipates therapeutic value in telling it and who sees pragmatic reasons for transparency â is uniquely positioned not just to advocate on your own behalf, but chip away at the stigma that still clings to mental illness. Certainly itâs not as thick as it used to be, and your parents and their hush-hush shame are relics of another time. But the only way to force that shame into ancient history is for regular people to treat their own struggles as a regular illness. Diane Rehm steps away from her show to rest her vocal cords; Michael J. Fox lightens his work schedule to accommodate Parkin-
sonâs; you withdraw for a semester to treat your depression. Each of these things is like the other. Managing health is no more scandalous than maintaining oneâs car, and I give you a dining-roomtable standing O for not only grasping that, but also being ready to prove it â especially at a time when you clearly have more important things to do than running your own PR. Hi, Carolyn: My fiancee and I are living with two roommates weâve both known for a few years. This is for financial reasons and will end in six months. My fiancee seems to be in a little bit of a funk recently, more stressed than normal and slightly more depressed (yes, sheâs medicated). She seems to be in a better mood hanging out with our roommate who is the same age/sex as me. They donât go hanging
WORKING IT OUT
out together just the two of them; I donât think anything extra is going on. But when theyâre just talking or watching TV or doing something mutual around the house, she seems to be happier than when she does the same things with me. This makes me happy for her because sheâs in a better mood, but then I get sad and jealous because I start questioning why I donât put her in that good of a mood. I donât get the same negative feelings when I see her having a much better time with some of her lifelong friends of the opposite sex. She sees them infrequently, and they all have much more in common. Should I bring this up, or let it go? When we move out, we will rarely see this roommate more than once or twice a year. â Minor brooding in Oregon New relationships are easier. Relationships with
old friends you see infrequently are easier. It is important not to read too much into relationships that are easier than a lifelong commitment. But: Itâs also important not to read too little into her easy compatibility with others. Did you two ever have that rapport? If so, then the answer could be as simple as making more room for fun. If not, then itâs entirely possible youâre not as compatible, and maintaining a relationship that, while loving, requires extra effort from you both. Itâs also possible for the depression, stress and jealousy to be side effects of the emotional fatigue of having to work to make things work. Not definitely, just possibly, but enough to be worth a think. Chat with Carolyn online at noon each Friday at www. washingtonpost.com.
Tell us what you think We want to know what you like about your paper. Send an email to editor@ clickthepaper.com, call 706-658-2683, or send a letter to The Paper, P.O. Box 430, Hoschton, GA 30548, or drop it off at The Paper office now located at 9924 Davis St., Suite 8, in Braselton. You can submit community announcements, church news, school happenings and more to editor@ clickthepaper.com
JANRIC CLASSIC SUDOKU
SOLUTION
~Serving Hall County Since 1975~ ⢠Durable Medical Equipment ⢠Sales & Rentals ⢠Wheelchairs ⢠Canes ⢠Crutches ⢠Nebulizers & Medications ⢠Blood Glucose Monitors & Supplies ⢠Ostomy ⢠Urologicals ⢠Wound Care ⢠Support Braces ⢠Compression Hosiery ⢠Bath Safety ⢠Pillows & Support Surfaces ⢠Orthopedic/Diabetic Shoes ⢠Orthotics & More
5325 Atlanta Highway ⢠Flowery Branch
770-967-3324
www.citizenspharmacy.com
Medicare accredited Provider
Accepting Medicare Part D, Medicaid, Aetna, Cigna, BlueCross, Medco & Other Prescription Cards Refills aRe easy with ouR RefillRX app oR via website