The Sober Edit - October Edition 2023

Editor’s Note

Welcome to the second edition of The Sober Edit. It brings me joy to share this autumn edition, brimming with inspiring stories from the world of sobriety. I want to extend my deepest appreciation to each one of you who has contributed to this magazine by sharing your experiences. Your stories are not just words on paper; they are beacons of hope, courage, and resilience that light the way for others on their sober journey.

Becki Lane

Editor-in-Chief

Our first edition received an overwhelming response, and it was a heartwarming experience to witness the range of emotions it stirred in our readers. I'm incredibly grateful for the warmth and positivity that emanated from our readership. The Sober Edit has transcended boundaries, reaching readers in over 40 countries It's a testament to the strength and growth of our global alcohol-free community

As we delve deeper into this journey, I'm excited to see our community continue to expand The Sober Edit is not just a magazine; it's a celebration of our collective strength and the power of shared experiences Together, we are breaking down barriers, challenging norms, and supporting one another in our pursuit of healthier, happier, and alcohol-free lives

In this edition, you'll find an even greater collection of inspiring tales, helpful insights, and valuable resources to support your sobriety journey Whether you're at the beginning of your path or have been walking it for a while, we hope you'll find stories and wisdom that resonate with you

The Sober Edit community is more than just a readership; it's a family of individuals who understand the challenges and triumphs that come with the choice to live a sober life Your stories, your engagement, and your support make this community vibrant and impactful

Thank you for being a part of The Sober Edit Enjoy this edition, and remember that you're never alone on your journey Together, we continue to grow stronger, inspire change, and light the way for those seeking a life free from alcohol.

With gratitude, Becki

SOBER IS THE NEW COOL

Hi, I’m Kim, and it’s just me behind SOBER IS THE NEW COOL I’m just another loving mom from Montreal who happens to care a lot Like, a lot, perhaps that is really my addiction My organization was inspired by my son, Matthew, in 2013

You see, our beloved son, Matthew, at age 13, started having Grand Mal Seizures It was something we were completely unprepared for, nor equipped to handle at the time. Thus, we began to navigate this new normal as the months and years presented new challenges with dear Matthew.

As he became of age to drink, for instance, we had to make great considerations with regard to that too. Matthew was on lifelong medication to help manage the seizures, and any interaction with alcohol could be life-threatening for him. I couldn’t help but think about the peer pressures involved at his age too. It would be all too tempting for him.

These considerations meant that I had to set an example for him. It meant that I had to quit drinking myself. As a daily wine drinker myself, that would be a challenge for me, or so I thought. But after three short months, I realized how much better I felt for it. I felt so m ch more ali e and happ Moreo er m foc s and

As he and I continued to march to the beat of our own drum, the idea of Sober is the New Cool just seemed to flow like wine, ironically It just made sense Plus, there was absolutely no one acknowledging the idea that sobriety is, in fact, cool

Henceforth, the inspiration and catalyst for SOBER IS THE NEW COOL took traction immediately We started a website, an Instagram, a Facebook, and sold merchandise where all profits benefit the mental health and recovery communities.

I got so many messages. The United Kingdom, then the USA, and then other countries were ready and eager to discuss and normalize being SOBER.

Today, our message of talking openly about the shame and stigma surrounding mental health and addiction is in full effect with live interviews on Instagram.

The past 10 years have been absolutely incredible – I have met the most sensitive, authentic people from around the world. Considered the matriarch of the sober community, my role has become to rebuild others' self-esteem. It allows young people to confide and share to help the healing begin. I don’t want anyone to ever have to wait until they are 60 years old to realize they are ENOUGH.

Andy Ramage

Andy, a former pro athlete, co-founded successful city brokerages but felt unfulfilled. Ten years ago, he dove into behavioural change and elite performance studies. His discoveries led to OneYearNoBeer.com, inspiring thousands to change alcohol habits. Seneca Performance transforms corporate wellness for elite professionals. With a Masters in coaching psychology, Andy is an expert in behavioral change and performance coaching, also a bestselling author and speaker.

What are your qualifications and experience in the field of sobriety and coaching?

In terms of coaching, my journey began when I decided to go back to school and pursue a degree It all started 12 years ago when I read Anthony Robbins' book, "Awaken the Giant Within," which completely transformed my life In that book, he frequently mentioned a man named John Grinder, with whom he trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) "Awaken the Giant Within" opened my mind to new ways of thinking and acting Anthony Robbins' references to John and NLP sparked my curiosity, and my life began to change

I became deeply interested in self-development and wondered if it would be possible to train with the person who had trained Anthony Robbins In my mind, I imagined John Grinder to be someone in Los Angeles, and the training would cost a small fortune However, when I searched for John Grinder's courses, I was surprised to find that his next course was taking place in Croydon, which was not at all what I expected So, I took my first step towards becoming an NLP practitioner by attending that course with John Grinder, and it was an incredible experience that expanded my horizons Although it was a fantastic learning opportunity, I realised it wasn't enough While the course was enlightening, it lacked practicality and professionalism, and I didn't feel adequately qualified afterward Nevertheless, the learning was invaluable, and there were moments when I thought, "My friends would be amazed if they saw me now," as some of the concepts were quite unconventional. But I yearned for more, particularly the scientific underpinnings that NLP lacked.

That's when I discovered positive psychology, the science of wellbeing, and found a master's degree course in coaching positive psychology Keep in mind that I had left school at 16 to pursue a career in professional football, so I had no formal education beyond my GCSEs This presented some trepidation, but I was so inspired by my initial course that I went back to earn a degree specifically to pursue my master's degree in coaching psychology and positive psychology. It was an amazing journey, and I graduated with a distinction.

During this time, I also trained as a mindfulnessbased awareness coach, certified by the Association for Coaching, and pursued various other courses I became a master practitioner of NLP and trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) This extensive training and experience made me one of the most qualified coaches globally

Over the course of a decade, I gained practical experience working with a wide range of individuals, from Premiership footballers to movie stars to everyday heroes This experience, combined with my coaching expertise, finally put me in a position to give back My goal was to provide others with the transformative experience I had with John Grinder

but in a more professional and competent manner

As for the free resources, I also trained with Gabor Maté and spent a considerable amount of time learning on the job, particularly within the alcoholfree community This experience led to the creation of our course, where Alcohol Change UK plays an important role in delivering the alcohol-free component. This part of our course is vital because it mirrors the training provided to NHS workers, ensuring top-notch education.

Did you create your course yourself or did you have people help with elements of it? How did that kind of come about?

I created the course myself, and two of our coaches, Sarah Chamberlain and Naomi Morgan, also contributed to its development This course is essentially a diploma in coaching and positive psychology I wanted to provide people with a solid scientific foundation, ensuring that they have the necessary knowledge and robustness when they enter the world of coaching They'll have the weight of science behind them if they choose to bring workshops into the workplace This ensures their competence and credibility

Who is the course accredited by?

The way we've organised this is by acknowledging that there isn't much efficient training available for alcohol-free coaching, or for any related fields, for that matter. That's why I decided to develop a comprehensive and accredited coaching program. My motivation for this initiative came from my good friend Sharon Ide, who introduced me to this concept. She authored "The Kindness Method," and, like most people in the alcohol-related space (and perhaps even in addiction-related fields), she learned on the job rather than through formal qualifications.

My aim has been to create a program that offers coaching accreditation at a general coaching level and then adds a specialisation in alcohol-free coaching It's important to note that I'm not training addiction coaches; I'm training coaches to focus on individuals in the middle lane, a substantial group that is often underserved Therefore, the accreditations primarily pertain to generic coaching qualifications I believe that in the future, specific accreditations for alcohol-free coaching will emerge, but for now, our accreditation is effectively endorsed by us, the pioneers in alcohol-free coaching

So in terms of the course, how is it structured? Is it self-paced, live sessions or a mixture of both?

Mixture of both predominantly live, though I'm all about connection I do most of the delivery, which again is really exceptional because normally it's hard to train with the actual person That's really important to me I'm like fully immersed in the course from start to end It basically takes place over these two day blocks once a month There's a two day training over mid-week or weekend, and then we have six of those officially, that's the accredited part because there's an extra two day training, which is the alcohol-free coaching component plus

Then I have also started to institute a six week training at the end of the course, which is called like Business Boot camp I’ve written for those that want to Those that want to turn their passion into something that's profitable because I had loads of experience with that.

Are there assessments or practical exercises?

It's a highly practical approach. We refer to them as the "five observations." Essentially, these observations occur throughout the six-month period, involving you coaching someone while being recorded. The purpose behind this is that after your initial observation, you receive feedback to help enhance your coaching during the second observation, and this process continues for subsequent observations. The fifth and final observation is the one that's formally graded. The idea here is that as you progress through these five observations, you continually receive feedback, allowing you to improve your coaching skills consistently. So, by the time you complete that final observation, you'll be performing at your best

In terms of time commitment outside these sessions, what do you recommend?

So I always say it's about 15 to 30 minutes tops a day, probably like a few hours So nothing too intensive What we've tried to do is make the two days quite intensive and enjoyable and then save people like too much work outside of that, because I'd say 90% of people that take the course have got busy careers, busy jobs, busy lives So yeah, we've specifically set it up in that way So it's not too time heavy

Are those two days 9 to 5?

Ten till five. Zooms, actually Zoom's interesting, even because I've done live courses and I've done Zoom courses, the Zoom courses work brilliantly. Obviously COVID forced this into my life, so it's sort of like people are so used to it. There's no traveling time. People still connect and create this amazing bond that allows me to coach people from all over the world. It's great for a nice atmosphere and it cuts down on a lot of the sort of noise that sometimes you don't need. If you don't need to travel for two days a month, you know, people just turn on, whereas the issue stays. And so, yeah, the zooms worked brilliantly for us and the courses engage and it's no one sitting there bored. It becomes this really engaged environment.

So here's how it works: Once you complete your Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology, you will be accredited by me as an Alcohol-Free Performance Coach, Sober Coach, or whatever label you prefer, such as a Dry Coach Additionally, you will have completed a course accredited by three of the main coaching bodies: the International Coaching Federation (ICF), the Association for Coaching, and the NCC (European Management and Coaching Certification)

At this stage, you can choose the coaching body that aligns with your goals To obtain individual accreditation with any of these organisations, you typically need around 75 to 100 hours of coaching experience Once you've accumulated the required hours, you can approach your chosen organisation and inform them that you've completed the Diploma in Coaching and Positive Psychology, which is associated with their accreditation They will then guide you on how to apply for individual accreditation if you wish to pursue it

It's important to note that individual accreditation is not a mandatory requirement to start coaching Some coaches opt for it, while others do not

When students graduate and have their Diploma’s and then you offer business bootcamp, if graduates want to keep up to-date in that field, do you kind of offer top ups?

We have something called Coach Club, and everyone can join afterward Historically, it has been for three months, with a small charge However, I'm very close to making the decision to provide it as a delightful free resource

So, what is Coach Club? Coach Club is a practice group where you can come together to hone your coaching skills It includes a monthly Q&A session with me On average, participants receive coaching, support, and supervision It's a wonderful platform for coaches to establish their own connections and be part of a community

Do you need any prior knowledge or education level or can anyone kind of jump on board and start?

Yeah, anyone And because it's a part of my story, I'm really passionate about it. So I had to learn how to manage and start, both with the ladies who help run it. They are both teachers, and they specialise in assisting adults in their learning journey. I am passionate about anyone and everyone coming back into this, especially if they haven't had much of a formal education.

Can you share any success stories or anything else you’d like to tell our readers?

I believe that the story behind coaching is something worth embracing Coaching, for me, is an incredible way to discover more meaning and purpose in life and to potentially give back Many people on their alcohol-free journey reach a point where they yearn for something more, something beyond their current circumstances I often describe it as aiming for a target, for something greater You've undoubtedly experienced moments where you've felt fortunate

A sense that there must be more to this short and precious life I believe this transformation occurs when we remove alcohol, providing us with clarity, reconnecting us with our authentic selves Coaching and counseling offer the opportunity to connect with something meaningful and contribute value to the world; it's a powerful experience

Let me delve a bit deeper into coaching tools, as they are at the core of my coaching course's objective My goal is to provide everyone with a transformational experience in personal development I view this training course as one of the best self-development courses available It stretches you beyond your comfort zone, introducing you to various tools and techniques to help others thrive Interestingly, while you learn these tools and techniques to support others, you simultaneously thrive yourself That's one of the unique gifts of coaching it serves as the ultimate self-development course that never leaves you. You continually update your skills, learn new things, and in the process, enhance your own personal development.

This self-development is where it all begins. I stand behind this course as a standalone selfdevelopment journey; even if you're just excited about personal growth, you can't lose. Regardless of your ultimate career path, you're guaranteed to have a great experience. Some participants may choose to incorporate coaching into their careers or networks, and we've had numerous success stories in that regard.

For example, Lorraine West, who works for RollsRoyce, enhanced her stature within the company by introducing new skills learned from the course. Jo Hall, who worked in the NHS, utilised her newfound mental skills to improve staff wellbeing through positive psychology. These examples demonstrate the positive impact individuals can have within their organisations.

Finally, some participants may wish to turn coaching into a profitable venture that also does good in the world This business can take various forms, including a coaching business It's worth mentioning that my own journey was not rushed I didn't immediately quit my job to become a coach; instead, I spent eight years in full-time employment as a broker while learning these skills and determining what I liked and disliked I only transitioned to full-time meaningful work after careful consideration Coaching allows you to run it part-time alongside a busy career, reducing the financial pressure early on as you explore this path

I'd like to mention some notable individuals who have taken the course, including Matt Pink, Suzy Shaw, and Fraser Franks These are some of the more recognisable names, and it's fascinating to see their journey Some participants who aspire to turn coaching into their full-time vocation find inspiring success stories, like Nat Houghton, who initially joined the course while uncertain about his career direction but eventually developed the concept of "Dry" and turned it into his full-time work.

I've witnessed numerous exciting developments within this coach training, and it's truly an inspiring journey for all involved.

To find out more about enrolling on one of Andy’s courses.

CREATE IN SOBRIETY

So, you've decided not to drink Maybe it’s for the night, maybe a month, maybe forever; the point is you're not drinking Suddenly, you have a LOT of time and a LOT of un-numbed emotions pouring out like a fountain. So, how do you stop yourself from drowning in them?

Create.

Is being creative going to erase your anxiety? Is it going to save you from yourself? Is it going to be a cure-all and the reason you get sober? Honestly, probably not, but it is going to support a more positive and genuinely happier outlook on how you spend your time sans alcohol. Here are three benefits of being creative in sobriety:

Endorphins Increase: Engaging in creative activities boosts endorphins, which are the body’s “feel-good” chemicals. Especially in recovery, this is going to be a key component of a more positive outlook and can help balance out feelings of negativity that may pop up.

Reduces Stress: Sobriety can be stressful! Anxiety can create a false narrative that everyone is noticing you, or you need to explain yourself. Getting creative before a sober event can shift your mind to relax and focus on something enjoyable, making it less likely to absorb any negativity in the room and providing a sense of calm and well-being.

Boosts Brain Function: Studies have shown that engaging in creative activities stimulates the brain When your brain is stimulated, it improves cognitive function (which may have deteriorated after years of binge drinking) and increases neuroplasticity This can lead to improved memory and increased problemsolving skills

Sobriety is tough, and creativity is such an important part of the coping process. Not only to cope with past trauma but also to be an aid for cravings. I use it to help fight against boredom that is bound to arise as I navigate not drinking through social or work events. Your source of creativity is also a practice of releasing negative and hard emotions you may not have known how to express otherwise. Often, creativity is bonded to a child-like state that releases expectations, regrets, and simply lets you be for even a few moments.

Creativity is art, but in sobriety, it’s a necessity. Here are some examples:

Paint a picture. Plan a trip. Write a story. Journal. Write a poem. Take a photo. Style an outfit. Start a social media account. Create a collage. Start a new exercise routine. Write a song. Join a book club. Start a podcast. Plan a themed party. Try a new recipe. Invent a new mocktail. Write a letter to your ex. Learn a new language. Make a calendar to track your sobriety.

My advice? Just start One word, one brush stroke, one picture, one page You may not be the best, but I swear the peace that you feel after is immaculate You will be able to let go of hard emotions and feel good about how you used your time And hey, what if someone likes your art, you connect and make friends, and get to share with others who may be struggling with alcohol abuse

Connect with me and let me know in what other ways creativity played a role in your sobriety!

XoXo Trina @TheRetiredPartyGirl

I’m Trina, a mom and sobriety enthusiast, raising awareness of the stigmas of declining alcohol and supporting women through their own recovery journey

CONSCIOUS STEP TOWARDS UNVEILING THE LAYERS OF EXISTENCE

In the bustle of life, where the clinking of glasses often accompanies celebrations and stress-relief, a countermovement is gaining momentum one that propels individuals towards an alcohol-free existence, catalysing an unexpected journey towards spiritual awakening.

The decision to refrain from alcohol is not merely a surface-level adjustment; it's a conscious step towards unveiling the layers of existence. As the physical and mental fog induced by alcohol lifts, a clearer path towards self-discovery emerges. This moment, where the decision to refrain from alcohol intertwines with the call of the soul, becomes the source of a profound spiritual awareness.

Sobriety can be seen as the key that unlocks the door to deeper perception. With every sip declined, the senses become more attuned to the subtle nuances of life fragrances become more intricate, colours more vibrant, and emotions more vivid. This heightened sensitivity extends beyond the material domain and delves into the domain of the intangible.

Spiritual awakening is not an event, but a gradual unfolding. It's a process where the individual, no longer numbed by the haze of alcohol, begins to recognise the intricate threads that weave the fabric of reality. The world, once perceived through a cloudy lens, transforms into a mosaic of interconnectedness This revelation often leads to a sense of humility and wonderment, as the individual realises, they are but a part of the grand cosmic design

n the absence of alcohol-induced distractions, one finds the space to explore the depths of their own consciousness This exploration, though sometimes daunting, is the catalyst for transformation Facing the shadows within the fears, insecurities, and unresolved emotions ushers in a cathartic release This emotional decluttering clears the path for a deeper connection with the self, a connection that extends beyond the mere egoic identity

The synergy between an alcohol-free lifestyle and spiritual awareness is underlined by the concept of presence Sobriety, by its nature, fosters an unbroken connection to the present moment With every sober breath, the individual anchors themselves in the now, fostering a connection with the universe that transcends temporal constraints

This newfound presence manifests as a deepening connection with nature and the cosmos. The sky, once taken for granted, becomes a tapestry of stars speaking a language of ancient wisdom. The rustling of leaves becomes a melody, resonating with the rhythm of the universe. This communion with the world around us is a testament to the profound changes that unfold when the shackles of alcohol are shed. "Through the clarity of sobriety, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, unearthing the hidden treasures of our soul. In this pursuit, we find not only liberation from alcohol but also the keys to unlock the doors of spiritual awakening."

Kate Drummond Dip. FTST IIHHT Holistic Life Coach

stacking habits for wellbeing

Was daily drinking a habit for you? Trying to break free from addictive patterns can be tricky, but a hugely beneficial tip is to introduce new habits and 'stack' them It's about using a 'formula' of adding a new behaviour to something you already do without too much conscious thought We know that our brains process a huge amount of information at any given time, so when there are good connections, a strong network can support what we choose to do with more ease.

We all have lots of habits, simple things we do every day. It's taken for granted that we will brush our teeth, boil the kettle, write ourselves a 'To-do' list, and many more. We can take advantage of our existing habits to build the connections to put in place the new ones we want to add in. It's a 'thing,' apparently, originally written about by BJ Fogg in his Tiny Habits program. We simply identify a current habit that we already do regularly and 'stack' the new habit on top.

Firstly, identify what new habits would be great for you right now. Stack the habit of saying some positive affirmations every time you shower (rather than allowing the inner critic to tell you how hopeless you are!). Visualise the water washing away the negativity and literally speak (or sing) some positive stuff about yourself. If you don't believe it, fake it till you make it!

Try adding some exercise into your life. As you boil the kettle in the morning, do a few squats or arm exercises. Okay, so it's only a few minutes, but it's a start!

Stay hydrated. Once you have poured your morning coffee or tea, as it cools, grab a 1.5litre bottle and fill it with water.

Remember to breathe to calm anxiety. Every time you go upstairs, practice 4 x 4 breathing: consciously breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for a count of 4, repeat 4 times.

You will find that by stacking these little habits together, you can soon start to create bigger 'stacks,' so you take advantage of the natural momentum of your behaviors connecting On that note, connection is key Get into the habit of regularly connecting with like-minded people; they become your cheerleaders as you introduce more well-being habits into your life

Janey Lee Grace is the author of Happy Healthy Sober, runs The Sober Club community and hosts the Alcohol Free Life podcast. Janey also trains Sober 360 Coaches www.thesoberclub.com

linktr.ee/janeyleegrace1

P Y E T A N O T H E R

J A I L H O U S E J O U R N A L ” E N T R Y

October 2007 - I'm finishing up yet another "Jailhouse Journal" entry, writing with a small broken pencil on some loose sheets of paper I presently reside on the top bunk of three in the Monterey County Jail - a barrack designed to house roughly 160 inmates, all with the common bond of having committed (or been accused of) some degree of felony charges.

Being raised with kind, loving, and supportive parents and having been an A student and student/athlete, it was clear to me this was all a mistake. Somehow, everyone in the world just didn't get "it " I'm a good guy I don't belong here, and I'm not sure why they won't let me out.

Thankfully, the guard was kind enough to remind me: "You crashed your car, broke your brother's neck, and had extensive city property damage in the wreck you're in jail, bro."

Yeah, but I was drunk! I don't even remember it. That doesn't count, right?

Surely the judge would understand. I'm 21 years old, barely of legal drinking age as of the recent 2 months, an anxious mess of a human, and this is my third loss of license in as many years Is this system out to get me or what?!? I'm a good person (I continue to remind myself of this despite rising evidence to the contrary).

After a few weeks in jail, I began to learn my family was not happy with me (thankfully my brother would be okay and not paralyzed). My friends were not happy with me. Shoot, I'm not happy with me

So, what gives?

Being chronically anxious and uncomfortable in my skin, I sought chemical solutions, and those solutions were failing me, fast There MUST be a better way of living Benzodiazepines, alcohol, some basic friendships, and a regular job were not working, despite my belief it was the "normal" way of living.

Thankfully, something pushed back in my life - forces greater than myself - conveniently disguised as police officers, judges, and attorneys These figures actually proved to act like a loving hand, guiding me from going down the wrong path over and over again, gently moving me in another direction, one I fought hard not to walk. The path of sobriety and recovery.

Despite my desperate attempts to fight against it, this path has proven to be the greatest gift and blessing of my life today. It is one that has afforded me far more blessings and gifts than I EVER could have imagined

I have learned to fly helicopters and planes. Driven through all 50 US states Travelled to over 46 countries and counting. I've been face to face with the most incredible animals the world has to offer - Tiger Sharks, Great Whites, Humpback and Sperm Whales. I've done so with people I never in my life would have imagined would want to spend time with me, such as famed ocean conservationists Ocean Ramsey, Juan Oliphant, Kayleigh and Cam Grant, and numerous others

I've gone on to get 2 master's degrees One from Hazelden Betty Ford with a focus on addiction counseling and co-occurring disorders, the other in business administration. As a result, I've been blessed to be directly responsible for treating thousands of clients and families through direct care services, and counting I've completed over 5 treatment facility builds in CA, TX, and FL and supported others in Hawaii

You might be wondering, "Why are you sharing all this, Zac?

Doesn't sobriety teach humility?"

And you'd be right; it certainly does.

I share this because it was once October 2007 I was once lying on the top bunk in a jailhouse barrack, surrounded by felons, wondering why a "good guy" just couldn't get life right.

I was 21 years old, ostracising myself from my friends and family without realising it, and scared to death that I would come to realise that I, actually, had no purpose for living. In fact, maybe, I was not a good guy after all.

Today it's October 2023, I'm 38 years old, coming up on 17 years of continuous sobriety, living in Bali, Indonesia, supporting sober global travel through Nomadic Addictt

My friends, the world is open! Your story (and mine) is not done being written. What first presented as a horrific life sentence of sobriety has proven to be the greatest gift, one that never stops giving. I have so much love for this life today, for others I meet on my journey, and most importantly, for myself I owe it all to those who stepped in and helped show me a different path.

My hope is that you too can find your true passion, purpose, and calling

Perhaps we will cross paths in our sober journey together! I'll always be here to support in any way I can

This is my passion and my purpose today

Much love to you all and safe travels! Zac Spowart | Sober Travel | Nomadic Addict

.

DearHarriet,

"I'm anxious about trying new things in my sobriety"

Get connected to other like-minded sober people whom you can meet up with for coffee and gradually change the activities you do together. Small steps to tackle anxiety can make a big impact. Perhaps keeping a journal of the successful times you have stepped out of your comfort zone can help prove to your brain that you can safely overcome your anxiety. Ask yourself, 'Where is this anxiety coming from?' This may give you some insight into your next step to overcome what's getting in your way."

Do you have a question you would like answered, email us at hey@thesoberedit.com linktr.ee/50shadessober

12 WAYS TO SHINE IN BUSINESS

By Clare Honeyfield

helps women entrepreneurs to build their 5-star life and business on their own terms so they can live in abundance and contentment and contribute to a better world. Clare is an award -winning business founder, a best-selling author and a highperformance coach who is sober.

www.clarehoneyfield.co.uk

The number one thing stopping you from living the life of your dreams is YOU!! Here are some ways to STOP that!!

1

Know yourself – What are your values? To what extent are you living within them daily? How are they reflected in your business?

2 Focus - Ditch the ‘to-do’ list and replace it with 3 high-priority tasks for each day – that way, low-priority tasks won’t take over – and do those 3 things before you lay your head on your pillow

3 Get absolute clarity on your mission – Who do you want to impact and how?

4 Create a vision for your life –What’s your outcome?

5. Know your numbers, know your numbers, know your numbers (can’t emphasise that enough!)

6. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable – Yeah, it can feel icky, but nothing changes if nothing changes. Do the thing you don’t want to do – it’ll give you momentum and self-belief.

7 Remember, when you are feeling challenged, (and you will feel challenged) “it’s just a season ” Maybe the season feels like the deepest winter If so, decide you are a winter person and show up daily ready for winter

8 Make it all about something bigger than yourself – Know your ‘why ’

9 Enjoy the process, practice gratitude, and find glimmers in every day

10 Get help - You are not the first person to start and build a business – find mentors, coaches, and teachers to guide you on your path (I always choose people who are where I aspire to be in my life and work).

11. Repeat.

12. Don’t give up before the magic happens.

in all honesty, I loved drinking

Once upon a time, everything I did revolved around drinking. Meals out always featured fancy cocktails and the ‘right’ wine to accompany the main meal. Weekends away wouldn’t be planned around which sights to see but which bars were the quirkiest or had the best view of a skyline.

Evenings with friends would be highly disappointing if everyone involved didn’t have the same mission to consume as much alcohol as I did. I couldn’t understand how friends didn’t seem concerned when they ran out of booze before an evening was over. Because, in all honesty, I loved drinking.

It was without a doubt my favourite pastime. It defined me; I was a drinker through and through.

So, when the day came that I knew I couldn’t go on. That if I did, I was going to get myself into trouble and, in reality, I didn’t have control over drink . . it had control over me. I honestly wondered to myself. What now?

If I’m not drinking . . then what the chuff am I going to do?

As many do, I started a health kick. It seemed the natural thing to do; if quitting drinking was for health, then why not make other changes to complement it?

Having always enjoyed swimming when I was younger, I headed down to the local leisure centre and dived in.

The feeling of calm was instant Just being surrounded by water, the noise of others was deadened when I was submerged The strokes came back to me slowly, but soon I was able to stop concentrating on my movements and focus only on my breath This gentle, rhythmic, meditation was addictive, and swimming has become something I do at least three times a week It’s not just for physical health, although I know that without a doubt I have far more stamina than I have had for the past 20 years or more It’s mental health too

I can enter the water feeling scattered and stressed, and when I emerge an hour later, my mind is calm and stretched out like I’ve done a mental act of yoga I’ve moved from the pool to a lake more recently, and the joy of swimming wild in nature has brought a profound sense of peace and gratitude to me that I have NEVER experienced before

Gratitude purely for being allowed to be in this amazing, natural world that we live in. And to experience things that I would never have had the energy or impetus to get out and do if I had still been so obsessed with drinking

By Suzanne Frear

Our genetics make up about 60% of the picture when it comes to addiction and repeating generational cycles While that is a significant factor, it doesn't have to determine our destiny

We can take control of the outcome of our lives and the lives of our children As an educator, I learned about ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and I knew that my students who experienced these adverse childhood experiences were statistically more likely to repeat the cycles of addiction and abuse in their families I also recognized that my own family history was concerning, and my ACEs score was high. I began to wonder if, even despite achieving all I set out to accomplish, I had avoided falling into this trap. Or had I found that my relationship with alcohol had entered dangerous territory?

I knew that after having my own children and the slowdown of the pandemic, my drinking had shifted. I knew that I was drinking too much. I knew that drugs and alcohol had damaging effects on generations of families. I also knew that my coping skills would eventually become my children's.

But somehow, I was still drinking.

If you have found yourself in this scary and confusing place, I'm here to tell you it's okay, and you're not alone. You can find your way out.

BREAKING GENERATIONAL CYCLES

Here are the top 10 things I've learned in my first year of sobriety:

Breaking generational cycles is incredibly hard, but it is possible.

It will be uncomfortable. Do it anyway. You can stop the train before it crashes at rock bottom.

Removing alcohol from my life is the most loving thing I have ever done for myself. You can heal your inner child by choosing sobriety

It's never too late to remove alcohol and show your kids that there is a better way It's a journey, not a quick fix Just keep going You do not have to go to A A or label yourself an alcoholic to decide that alcohol is no longer serving you

Community is key "Shame dies when stories are told in safe places " - Ann Voskamp

Statistics are just numbers Knowing our risk can help empower us to get ahead of things and carve a new path for ourselves and our families

I'm showing my children daily that there are other ways to cope with their emotions I'm modelling for them a sober parent who forces herself to wade through a wide range of emotions without reaching for anything to numb them I hope to inspire and help other women and mothers who find themselves in similar situations, to know that they have the power to change their lives and the future for their children

In the heart of every person, there lies an infinite space waiting to be discovered. This sacred inner space is rich with beauty, shadow, strength, and frailty. Sobriety is the key through the door, and selfawareness is the lantern that illuminates the space

To many, sobriety may seem like the mere act of abstaining, a simple halt. But at its core, it’s truly an act of courage. It’s the gateway to a life lived with depth, with feeling, and authenticity. It’s the first step on a journey towards the greatest love affair you will ever know: the one with yourself Sobriety is not just the absence of a drink or a substance; it’s the presence of life in all its raw, unfiltered brilliance

Then, incorporate self-awareness. The gentle teacher. The light in the dark that guides us through the winding paths of the inner world. Where sobriety clears the fog, selfawareness invites us to gaze deeply into the cleared mirror, revealing truths both beautiful and uncomfortable It encourages us to confront our shadows, to dance with our fears, and to embrace our radiant light.

So, why is the combination of sobriety and self-awareness so transformative?

Because together, they reveal the truth: that beneath the masks, beyond the pain and the past, you are worthy of love and belonging Sobriety clears the noise, cleans the clutter, and gives self-awareness the space it needs to show us who we truly are and what we’re capable of becoming.

THE COMBINATION

Nutrition in Sobriety

Heavy drinking can cause nutritional deficiencies. Even if you were not drinking heavily, and have given up alcohol for a healthier lifestyle, optimising your nutrition will help you meet any health goals quicker Committing to sobriety means forming new, lifelong habits and proper nutrients are key to your overall health, as they boost your immune system and support your brain and nervous system.

Low levels of vitamins and minerals are common in heavy drinkers. Damage to your liver and pancreas from heavy drinking can lead to imbalances in your body and the absorption of vitamins and minerals can be affected by drinking Let’s take a look at what’s usually missing and how you can replace them:

Vitamins A, D, E and K: Because drinking harms fat absorption, levels of these fatty vitamins are often low in people who drink

Vitamin B1 deficiency can be especially harmful, leading to irreversible brain damage if not addressed. Eat beans, peas, lentils, pork, brown rice, and fortified foods like breakfast cereal. Vitamin B2. Dairy products, eggs, lean beef and pork, chicken breast and salmon. Vitamin B5 Beef, chicken breast, mushrooms, avocados, nuts and seeds, milk

Vitamin B6 Not getting enough of this vitamin can lead to anaemia, depression, confusion, and a weak immune system. Poultry, fish, noncitrus fruit, and starchy vegetables such as potatoes are good sources. Vitamin B9 (folic acid).

A lack of vitamin B9 can trigger anaemia and make you weak, tired, and moody. You might also get headaches and have a hard time focusing. Folic acid is in foods like enriched bread, flour, cornmeal, pasta, rice, and breakfast cereals Veggies, fruits, fruit juices, nuts, beans, and peas naturally have folate Vitamin B12 Meat, fish and dairy foods. Calcium Iron Magnesium Zinc.

The brain is heavily affected by alcohol, but certain foods can help rebuild its ability to grow and evolve during recovery These include: Carbohydrates Your brain needs carbs to make the chemical messenger serotonin That’s what evens out your moods, helps you sleep better, and soothes the urge for alcohol. Stick to complex carbs like whole grains, veggies, peas, and beans over things like white bread, pasta and pastries.

Amino acids Your brain needs amino acids to make dopamine Without it, you can have strong cravings, mood swings, and hostile behaviour We get amino acids from protein in foods like meat, dairy products, and nuts, along with some grains and beans. Dietary fat. It eases inflammation and protects the thin layer that surrounds your brain cells, called the cell membrane This gives neuroplasticity a boost, which is where your brain reworks old connections and makes new ones This can be vital in maintaining your sobriety as the brain can heal and learn ways of coping with cravings by creating new neural pathways.

I believe that by eating well, we can all live better lives, and my philosophy is to create food that will both nourish your body and excite your taste buds.

Laura Bradley www.laurabradley.co.uk Instagram

Canola, olive, safflower, sesame, and sunflower oils are good sources of healthy fats.

Fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids found in shellfish and fatty fish like salmon also ease inflammation, while omega6 fatty acids help with neurotransmitter activity Sources of omega-3 include oily fish

Food tips to keep in mind: For a healthy, balanced diet, make your plate up as 45% carbohydrates, 30% healthy fats and 25% protein. Sticking close to these numbers can promote recovery and help alleviate some of the stress detox puts on your body

Eat three meals a day Early in recovery, your body will need to readjust to the feeling of hunger. At first, it may think hunger pangs are a desire to drink alcohol.

That’s why it’s important to eat three meals a day plus snacks as your body heals

Watch out for food cravings The changes in brain chemistry that can lead to alcohol cravings can also cause you to long for food, and especially sugar.

To fight food cravings:

Get into an eating routine

Eat when you’re hungry but not ravenous

Only eat until you’re satisfied

Avoid emotional eating

Drink lots of water. Often, people in recovery don’t get enough water. Try to drink around eight glasses each day.

I've struggled with poor mental health and low self-worth throughout my life. Late in 2020, I went off work with stress, and I reevaluated my life. I realised I had gained a lot of success using the fear of failure as my driving force. I was looking for happiness in people, places, substances, and things, but everything I achieved only ever gave me an approximation of happiness.

I started a self-development journey that allowed me to find out who I really was beyond all the labels and thoughts I had about myself. I came home, and that home is the love I have in my heart for myself, my connection to others, nature, and beyond.

At this time, I also reevaluated my relationship with alcohol It made me feel anxious; I could never have just one drink It knocked me out of my routines for three or four days after a night out So why was I still drinking? A good question!

I felt I needed it to go on nights out; I'd be boring without it I had a million other excuses My first stint going alcohol-free lasted six months, but I longed for a beer again I had achieved the six months through willpower, but that will always run out I had one blowout, and then I did another three months AF I thought this was evidence I could now moderate my drinking

How do you think that went? Yep, not very well! Before long, every night out was a big session Then I woke up on the 27th of November 2022 Nothing bad had happened while drinking; I just decided I’m not doing it anymore, so I haven’t The big change was my desire to stop, rather than the willpower I had used before I knew I was gaining loads and losing nothing

LABELS AND THOUGHTS I HAD ABOUT MYSELF

My life has improved a hundredfold since that day I'm volunteering for a charity, I'm helping set up a mental health charity, and I have a whole host of new people in my life that I have a genuine connection with I've also published a book on my struggles in life and how I turned it around. None of this would have been possible if I had still been drinking alcohol.

My book "Imprfct" is on sale now. All proceeds are going to the charity I'm helping to create called "Enter Holistic Healing." Remember, if you're struggling with anything in life, you always have a choice. Reaching out is not a burden; it's a request for connection, something we all need.

Thank you for your time, love to you all.

Instagram: @imprfct stevedavie Substack: https://imprfct.substack.com/

I have always loved autumn. I'd have told you it was the colours of the changing trees, the cold bite in the air, and the crunching ground underfoot but in reality, this time of year meant daily trips to pubs after work with colleagues, where I'd sit surrounded by festive lights, sipping on bottomless glasses of wine Or bars by the river, where we would snuggle under blankets and sip warm mulled wine until closing time

Everyone seemed to up their game when it came to drinking in October and November, in the lead-up to the holidays Drinking was expected, accepted, encouraged even Perfect for someone who drank too much and felt constantly guilty about that fact

Looking back, I can't remember a time when I didn't emerge into the new year sluggish, unhealthy, not able to remember certain things, embarrassed about my behaviour, having eaten too much, drank even more than usual, and feeling guilty Every cosy evening in front of a fire was accompanied by wine, and too much of it

Christmas markets were more about drinking Gluhwein than the hand-carved nutcrackers on offer Office work parties ended in me faceplanting the curb or arguing with someone from accounts. It was a mess. It was far from festive... it was farcical.

KEEP CRAVINGS IN CHECK THIS AUTUMN

During these autumn months, it's not uncommon to sense a creeping melancholy spread across the community. It's usually due to the lack of sunlight, the change in the weather, and the fact that these two things combined mean we spend more time indoors, often at home, which can feel boring, claustrophobic, and isolating. These 'winter blues' are nothing new, but they can affect our mood and lead to a spike in depression, fatigue, and anxiety, all of which are triggers when it comes to relapses.

But before I scare you half to death about the upcoming months, let me reassure you that I gave up drinking during December, a week before Christmas, in fact, and not only survived, I thrived. So I thought I would share some of the things that really helped me keep cravings in check during the cold days and long nights.

Staying busy has been key for me throughout the year, whether that's journaling, building a cute Book Nook for my shelves, or walking until the urge to drink passes. If I can't do any of those things, I have a long bath, and if all else fails, and I can't find anything to shift my unwanted mood, I go to bed.

For me, it's been about breaking old associations. If you start to create new healthier associations with all things autumnal, you start to reprogram your mind And as I approach two years sober, I'm already noticing the old alcohol associations are fading

Here are some of the things that got me through autumn and winter last year and kept me feeling connected to the sober community and the outside world

Katie Taylor

A writer choosing life without alcohol because I’ve drunk my share, and half of yours

��Host - The Sober Effect Podcast Instagram - walking-the-straight-line

FINDING YOUR SOBER CIRCLE

In 2018, when I finally stopped drinking, I honestly believed I would never have fun again. My entire social l had revolved around drinking, and I didn't know how to 'have fun' without a glass of wine in my hand.

After about 90 days of sobriety, it hit me that most of my "friends" were just drinking buddies. Once we stopped drowning ourselves in alcohol, we realized there wasn't much else holding us together. They vanished, and the loneliness started to creep in. I started searching for alcohol-free events in Bristol, but there was nothing to b found. So, I made a mini-pilgrimage to London for a Sob Girl Society meetup. That day was a game-changer –meeting other sober women, busting out dance moves, and actually having a blast without alcohol.

When I got home, I made up my mind: I needed to find local sober friends, and that’s how Sober Circle was born I did some sleuthing in sober Facebook groups and on Instagram, connecting with anyone I could find in Bristo who was living the booze-free life. I started a WhatsApp group, and it immediately blew up - I'd expected a handful, but suddenly there were 30 of us, all excited about finally finding each other.

I created a Facebook group so we could keep the conversation going and plan to meet up in person Fastforward almost five years, and that group has 1500 members with more people joining every day

During the past five years we've put together probably

Originally, I just wanted to find my own Sober Circle But it snowballed into this amazing mission to help everyone else find their people too Here are my top tips on how to find or create your own Sober Circle:

Do Some Digging: Search Facebook and Instagram for existing sober communities in your neck of the woods They're probably out there, waiting to be found

Be a Trailblazer: No luck with the search? No problem Put yourself out there on social media Message folks nearby, or ping other sober groups – they might know someone in your area

Brave the Unknown: I get it, meeting up with strangers is a serious "gulp" moment, especially without the false confidence booze gives you But trust me, after the first time, it's a total breeze So, that's how Sober Circle came to life Turns out, building a gang of sober pals isn't just about me – it's about creating a community where we all have each other's backs When the booze exits the scene, the real fun begins, and it's even better when you've got your squad cheering you on.

Sammy Hall – Founder of Sober Circle

HOW EMBRACING A SOBER LIFESTYLE TRANSFORMED MY MENTAL HEALTH

For years, anxiety and depression had been my constant companions. Each day was a battle, a struggle against my own mind. It felt like I was navigating a stormy sea, with waves of uncertainty and darkness crashing over me. But then, I made a life-altering decision – to go sober. Little did I know that this choice would become the beacon of light that guided me out of the storm, offering me newfound strength to conquer my mental health challenges.

As I removed alcohol from my life, a remarkable transformation began to unfold. It was like a fog was lifting, revealing a clearer perspective of myself and the world around me. The weight of anxiety began to ease, and the depths of my depression seemed less daunting. It wasn't an overnight fix but a gradual process of rediscovering my inner strength.

One coping mechanism I discovered was the power of mindfulness. Instead of drowning my emotions in alcohol, I used techniques like deep breathing and grounding exercises. The 4-7-8 breathing technique became my anchor during anxiety, allowing me to slow my racing heart and calm my mind. Likewise, the sensory grounding exercise helped me reconnect with the present, pulling me away from the overwhelming grip of depression

Perhaps one of the most surprising revelations was the positive impact on my social anxiety Previously, alcohol had been a crutch in social situations, but without it, I had to confront my fears head-on As I embraced sobriety, I could engage in conversations with ease I was more present, more authentic, and incredibly, I felt a sense of liberation

The decision to go sober also led me to explore new hobbies and activities. Engaging in indoor bouldering and embracing the serenity of wild swimming became vital aspects of my routine. These activities not only brought joy but also provided a sense of accomplishment, serving as antidotes to the nagging doubts that anxiety and depression often brought.

Today, I stand 18 months into my sober journey, and the transformation is remarkable My mental health has undergone a profound turnaround While challenges still arise, I face them with a newfound resilience, armed with coping mechanisms that strengthen me rather than mask my emotions

Choosing sobriety has not only helped me conquer my battles but has also connected me with a supportive community Discovering others who share similar journeys has been an invaluable source of encouragement and understanding

If you're grappling with anxiety and depression, consider going sober It's a journey that requires commitment, but the rewards are immeasurable Sobriety has become my guiding light in the darkness, taking me toward a brighter and more fulfilling life

Luke Clark

Fun Sober Retreats in Spain & California!

Hi! I'm Izzy, the creator of Sobertopia - Fun Sober Retreats in Spain & California! Are you a sober lifestyler? Enjoying life without booze? Or thinking about it? Then this is for you! I have been organizing fun Sober Retreats since 2021, and I'd like to tell you a little more about how Sobertopia started

Just before Covid hit, I stopped drinking myself During the lockdown, which was very strict in Spain, where I lived at the time, I found it really easy not to drink However, when the world opened up again, and all my friends started planning nights out, I felt like a deer in headlights: I didn't want to go there and couldn't share their enthusiasm I realized I enjoyed not 'having to go out out' and wanted to start spending my time differently With other people embracing or trying an alcohol-free life!

That's when I started thinking about organizing meet-ups in the shape of retreats, with the primary goal being creating a place where people can CONNECT. Connect over their choice to live an alcohol-free life while spending time in a gorgeous environment, doing fun activities, and having the opportunity to have REAL conversations. I'm offering a safe space where women who don't (want to) drink alcohol can connect with each other. So they can vent, relate, and get inspired by each other.

Every guest I've had the pleasure of hosting so far says they're going home richer, richer in their knowledge of sobriety, with increased selfconfidence, and greater HAPPINESS They feel seen, heard, and less alone in their decision not to drink alcohol

Besides having many chats and workshops about sobriety, my retreats are filled with fun and exciting activities Including, but not limited to, daily Yoga classes, Sound Baths, Ziplining, Wim Hof Workshops, hikes, and so much more! I promise you, at the end of my retreats, you'll feel fully recharged! You will have disconnected from day-today life and feel relaxed & inspired And you might have arrived alone, but you will leave with sober buddies for life!"

In 2024, I'm offering three Sober Retreats: May 29th – June 3rd 2024 / Sobertopia Bliss Retreat in Santa Margarita, California

June 13 – 16th AND June 16 – 19th 2024 / Sobertopia Beach Retreat in Malaga, Spain

For more info on these, plz visit my page: www.sobertopia.life

Instagram - SOBERTOPIA

Where you belong!’ Izzy x

"The first two times I tried to stop drinking, I was a huge jerk, and it nearly cost me everything.

Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t unpleasant to the people around me. I was a total jerk to myself.

For my first attempt, I strung together 75 days and then returned to drinking. Then, after giving birth to my son and staying sober throughout my pregnancy, I began drinking again, carefully timing my alcohol consumption and breastfeeding or, if I overdid it, pumping and dumping.

Both times, I thought, 'I messed up,' 'I am messed up,' 'Now I can’t drink like 'normal people,'' 'If I keep drinking like this, I’m going to ruin my marriage,' and 'What if I drink too much in front of my son?'

I felt broken and less than. I told myself if people knew the real me, they wouldn’t love me. These thoughts were unbearable, so I drank.

Thankfully, I also stumbled backward into lifechanging shifts. I started meditating. I listened to podcasts about neuroscience, happiness, and personal development. My journey led me to Dan Harris’s podcast Ten Percent Happier and ultimately Dr. Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher. I saved memes with the words, 'If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now,' and I cried when a mentor said what’s missing from most alcohol-free journeys isn’t willpower, desire, or discipline It’s self-love

On December 16, 2021 when my son was four months old I stopped drinking for good

Instead of telling myself to get it together, I practised radical self-kindness

I exercised and journaled I meditated I read lots and lots of books I wrote affirmations and cheered myself on, celebrating my progress and my alcoholfree journey

Now, looking into my baby’s shining eyes and feeling the breeze on my skin as the sun melts into the treetops on a long run, I can’t believe how happy I am How alive I feel

Without alcohol, I’m healthier, more capable, and a better mom I stopped selling myself short, and today I write for a living, something I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl

I’ve come so far since welcoming compassion into my life

Just a few years ago, it would have been unthinkable, but I can honestly say I’m proud of myself

Self-compassion was the missing piece that made everything possible for me I’d love to invite you to find out what it can do for you

Leanne Kinde

Writer & Founder, Single Spark Coaching Copy LinkedIn: www linkedin

com/in/leanne-kinde/

I was a huge jerk, and it nearly cost me everything

Sobriety unlocked the extraordinary

"Pancake Day 2016 My marriage seemed flawless back then, but an unshakable feeling overshadowed that night And then, amidst it all, my ex-wife dropped a life-altering bombshell – after 14 years, she wanted out

From that instant, my world transformed I turned to alcohol to ease my pain and grief. I found solace in heavy drinking – a refuge from a world I didn't want to face. I believed alcohol's numbness could shield me from pain.

My weeks became a repetitive cycle: work, friends, drinks, sleepless weekends, Sunday's dread. Alcohol became my excuse – football, stress, trivial matters, it didn't matter.

Things deteriorated to a point where I went on two all-inclusive holidays back-to-back, leaving me completely drained and even vomiting blood.

I took a six-month work hiatus, countless amounts of counselling, and felt like a burden.

Two rock-bottom moments jolted me – One, Christmas receiving a card from my nephews with me slumped over the table, surrounded by loads of beer cans. This still didn’t wake me up, and then a friend's recurrent letdown pushed me into isolation. I turned off my phone and didn’t want to be contacted, not knowing what I would do.

At the beginning of 2020, I started dating my current partner, bringing fresh focus and energy into my life. With this newfound motivation, I began to prioritise self-improvement. Then the pandemic hit. I faced a choice - continue numbing my pain with alcohol or seize this as an opportunity for change. When I looked at myself in the mirror, something clicked. I realised the pandemic was the perfect excuse to stop drinking and start putting myself first

2021 began with a three-month alcohol break intended for a holiday shape-up Yet, a partner's disagreement altered my course, leading to an extended sobriety journey

In June 2022, I made it my mission to help others escape the same feelings I had experienced before embracing sobriety I became an internationally accredited transformation coach

Since embracing sobriety, I have accomplished remarkable feats I have completed two marathons, conquered the Goggin's challenge, climbed Snowdon, and become a moderator for MATES (Men And Their Emotions), a social group to help men Every day, I provide valuable information and support to others free of charge

Sobriety unlocked the extraordinary Approaching 1000 days sober, my network has expanded beyond imagination From despair to hope, my journey exemplifies the boundless power of transformation

Marcus Jones Instagram - marcusjonescoaching

Being a Mum is hard Putting everyone else's needs above our own and juggling endless to-do lists is not easy. Yet the mummy-wine culture has taught us that in finding solace in our well-earned reward, we are all in this together In reality, we feel isolated, alone, and exhausted, but it says, “this wee drink is normal, this is how WE cope.” As women, we long to feel part of a tribe; we want to be good enough, just like all the other Mums. Constantly seeking reassurance so we aren't on our own, we just go along with it

Clever marketing strategies play on our vulnerabilitiesembrace this lifestyle, and you’ll be like all the other mums Telling us anxiety and feeling wrung out just come with the territory, and the counter-solution comes in their attractively packaged bottle to be enjoyed with your feet up as the stress and chaos just ebbs away. Except the truth is, you rarely stop at one, and they know that, so you desperately try to recreate that “hit” with more than the one drink you promised yourself You go to bed feeling frustrated and guilty; you sleep only a couple of hours and get up the next morning exhausted. But now the alcohol has knocked you even more, you feel edgy and shameful Other mums don’t feel this way! Why is it you can't even drink like them?

The mummy-wine culture even goes as far as to say our kids are the reason we drink! They are the stress that means we need that solution What message does that send? Not only are they the reason for our stress, but that alcohol is the only way to deal with it! We are teaching them to bury their thoughts, mask their feelings, and fix it with poison, and this is becoming completely natural!

Why Mummy Wine culture is so dangerous

Too many Mums are feeling isolated, trapped in a cycle of shame, overwhelm, and guilt. That does not need to exist. Disconnected from their kids, not daring to speak out for fear of judgment. When inside they want to stop. The fun stopped being fun, but the sense of shame created by this culture keeps them quiet and fearful Until one day you take that step, take that break, feel those benefits, and understand the lies that alcohol has been telling you and your kids Then it all changes! Then you know

Do you sometimes get that dreadful feeling when entering a pub, worrying about what alcohol-free options they might have? Don’t get us wrong; there are some awesome advocates of the alcohol-free community across our great nation. But why does the range and quality of Low and No options vary so wildly?

We noticed that the general feeling of newly-sober people was to stay in and avoid the pub or bar altogether. Obviously, home is a safer option, but why should the sober or sober curious have to become hermits to hang on to their sobriety? What if there were better choices and better availability for all customers? What if there was even an industry standard for robust alcohol-free options? Sounds like fairy-tale stuff, but Liquid Choices aims to level the playing field.

Founded in 2023 as a CIC, Liquid Choices is the campaign for alcoholfree options The founder, Trevor Twohig, has big hopes and aspirations for the coming years “I like to see Liquid Choices as a movement towards a fairer and more equitable offer within the hospitality sector. The AF market is booming with high quality and progressive drinks, yet none of these seem to be represented in the bars and pubs.”

LIQUID CHOICES: TIME FOR SOME BETTER CHOICES?

“In addition to that, we want to offer a place for people to get help and support for their drinking, not to mention advice for publicans and landlords when it comes to the alcohol-free sector. A lot of what we are finding is that they just don’t have the time or expertise to know about this burgeoning new sector, and that's where we come in ”

Trevor feels that the time is right for this type of movement too.

“I think the world is coming out of a long, boozy haze. People are realizing that alcohol perhaps provides more downsides than ups for many and want to try a new lifestyle The fact that 15% of those in sobriety have relapsed due to a lack of robust AF options proves to me that the time is now to change

“We have also seen some excellent research from our partners, Alcohol Change UK, that suggests alcoholfree drinks are really important to help excessive drinkers cut down I feel that the industry has a responsibility to be analyzing the latest research and making a change for their customers ”

Trevor has also written a book about his personal journey towards sobriety called 'Quit Drinking Your Way: How to handle your drinking demons.'

Liquid Choices invites you to sign up for the newsletter on their website www.liquidchoices.com, as well as follow them on Instagram @liquid choices

PUSH OFF FROM HERE RETREAT

The Push Off from Here Retreat, held in serene Boone, North Carolina, and hosted by bestselling author Laura McKeown on the weekend of July 21-23, 2023, did not disappoint the gathering of 150+ attendees. Retreat attendees were treated to one and a half days filled with rest, recharging, and making connections amidst the Appalachian Mountains. Laura and her retreat team, which included Alexander Smith, Tammi Scott, and Sarah Mulrooney, meeting leaders from The Luckiest Club (TLC), an international sober support community that Laura founded, structured the retreat to combine restorative yoga poses, breathwork, journaling, and the beautiful setting of the Art of Living (AOL) Retreat Center for a weekend that those in recovery won't soon forget.

In this stunning, alcohol and meat-free location, retreat attendees enjoyed healthy vegan meals and lovely cabinlike accommodations at the AOL center, where they could opt to walk or hike any number of trails on the mountain or schedule a spa treatment at the award-winning Shankara Ayurveda Wellness Spa during downtime

Retreat activities began with a short yoga session led by Laura on Friday night that included journal prompts and restorative yoga poses to get attendees warmed up for the weekend. Saturday morning began with Laura framing the retreat program by noting that the nine points outlined in her "We Are the Luckiest" book and further detailed in "Push Off from Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Sobriety (and Everything Else)" would be the basis for the weekend's yoga poses and journal entries. Laura and her team led participants through the nine points, asking questions along the way for participants to answer in their journals, which built upon each prior point. The pacing of the retreat programming allowed ample time to stretch, connect, and reflect throughout the day on Saturday. When Saturday's session was through, Laura graciously took photos with those who were interested before recessing for the evening to another fantastic vegan meal and an optional bonfire. During the bonfire, retreat attendees who participated were encouraged to throw index cards that included something they wanted to "let go of" into the fire while retreat center staff burned sage around the group.

When the retreat reconvened on Sunday morning for the final session, Laura's staff had the books that attendees requested be signed waiting for attendees who were then treated to more of the same restorative programming. Throughout the relaxed program, Laura sprinkled in key parts of her recovery story and entertained meaningful questions about recovery from the audience.

All in all, the weekend proved to be restful, reflective, and restorative for the Push Off from Here Retreat attendees and left participants with self-selected action items to help them move forward in their personal journeys at home.

Amy Allen Collins Instagram - Sober and Curly

Alcohol is a Group 1 carcinogen, as classified by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) and the World Health Organisation (WHO). Drinking alcohol causes cancer. Public awareness of alcohol as a carcinogen is astonishingly low despite alcohol consumption being directly linked to seven types of cancer

The IARC first classified alcohol as carcinogenic thirty-five years ago, back in 1988! Group 1 of the carcinogen classification system lists all the agents known to pose the highest risk to humans. Alongside alcohol, Group 1 also includes asbestos, radiation, and tobacco Generally, news reports and social attitudes assume that the negative effects of drinking are only an issue for binge or heavy drinkers. However, evidence is now proving that any amount of alcohol consumption can harm your health.

In January this year, the WHO published the following statements: No level of alcohol consumption is safe for our health When it comes to alcohol consumption, there is no amount that does not affect health. But what about those studies that claim that a small amount of alcohol can actually be good for you?

ALCOHOL CAUSES CANCER. WHY IS THIS NOT HEADLINE NEWS?

The experts firmly disagree The official scientific position now is that any potential benefit alcohol consumption may have on your health will be outweighed by the risk of cancer that drinking alcohol poses. The more you drink the higher your risk of developing cancer but drinking just one glass of wine a day does everything that binge drinking does, just on a smaller scale

The latest data indicates that half of all alcohol attributable cancers in the WHO European region were diagnosed in people who only consumed alcohol on a light to moderate level A ‘moderate’ alcohol intake is one drink a day for women, two drinks a day for men Alcohol is metabolised in the body into a chemical called acetaldehyde which is toxic to cells. Acetaldehyde both damages your DNA and prevents your body from repairing the damage. Once your DNA is fundamentally damaged, a cell can grow unchecked and create a cancer tumour The seven cancers that alcohol is directly linked to are of the oesophagus, liver, (female) breast, colon, rectum, mouth, and throat (pharynx and larynx). Gastric, pancreatic, and lung cancers are all being considered for inclusion on the list of cancers caused by alcohol consumption.

Alcohol consumption contributes to a raft of other health problems including diabetes, liver disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and coronary heart disease. Drinking alcohol shrinks and ages the brain, leading to cognitive decline and memory problems It’s not just our physical health that is affected

Drinking alcohol may boost your mood short term but drinking regularly acts to block serotonin levels meaning your mood will be lower in the long-term. Even drinking small amounts on a regular basis elevates your core cortisol (stress hormone) levels when you are not drinking. Drinking habitually is therefore making people feel more anxious and stressed and potentially even depressed Next time someone queries why you don’t drink you could add this to your long list of reasons for choosing the sober life!

Kate Davidson

Twitter: @sunnykatewrites

Kate Davidson

Substack: @sunnykatewrites

Twitter: @sunnykatewrites

Substack: @sunnykatewrites

SoberLifeGuides

Sober Life Guides is a new Sobriety platform inspired by the journeys of sober couple, Luke Bayliss & Jess Sparkes, who have come together with a shared vision.

To help others break free from alcohol and other substances and embark on a transformative journey towards becoming the best version of themselves.

They have both navigated their own sober journeys, been through the high & lows, successes & failures and drawing from their own experiences, they are committed to facilitating positive changes in people’s lives.

Their mission is to help others break free from the challenges that hold them back by offering guidance from experience, an exclusive private chat room, online community connections, meet ups and much, much more Everything needed to see a significant transformation and embrace a future filled with clarity, purpose and sobriety

Follow their new and exciting journey & discover more on their Instagram page @soberlifeguides

Suzanne Shaw

Singer and actress Suzanne Shaw, founder of The Happy Health Club, embarked on a journey to transform her life. After a two-decade battle with anxiety, depression, and an inconsistent relationship with food, alcohol, and fitness, she decided it was time for a change.

Can you share what led you to make the decision to embrace sobriety, and how has it impacted your life since then?

It was a few years of trying and really I think I knew my relationship with alcohol wasn't the healthiest. I was somebody who could take big breaks. But when I did drink, I really struggle to moderate one glass. It turned into two and then a bottle of wine later and then second bottle in would be regretting my life. I used to have this thing where I could cope of a hangover of a bottle of wine. And just really be able to kind of grit my teeth and get through the next day. But if I get past and I go into one and a half bottles of wine, right, I would then be floored for days. Now, that was the case. And then it started to become where I couldn't even do like two glasses of wine and feel good afterwards. My intolerance is just going further down and down and down until I just had no tolerance to alcohol anymore.

After just a large glass of wine, it would really affect me. I found white wine was the worst for me. I was able to moderate red wine, maybe because it's a heavier kind of liquid. Then I just started to think, "Well, tactically, if I don't want to drink much, I'll have red." And then what I'll do if I don't want to get a hangover is I'll have tequila. Then I thought, "What am I doing with my life? I am trying to basically dodge the bullets of a hangover " I'd take charcoal tablets before I'd go out because I had those, and it would just go It just became like tactics and hacks to be able to drink loads and try to avoid the hangover But the reality was it was never going to happen, and every drink that I was having was taking me further and further away from who I actually was and the life that I wanted

I think it was about two years of trying to quit alcohol while hoping that I would be able to find a way to become a moderate drinker And just knowing that, in the end, I was never going to be able to moderate; I could take the big breaks, Dry January and Sober October

Then one time I did like two months, and I felt absolutely amazing. I even did a holiday without drinking, and I was like, "I can do this."

But then it was coming away from the drinking culture, which I found really difficult because then when there was a wedding, the peer pressure just got to me, and I was hooked right back in, and I wasn't able to just have a glass of wine. It was a bottle of wine and regretting my life decisions the day after. So yeah, basically, it's a couple of years of trying the big breaks, feeling amazing, knowing that I was a much better person off the booze until it was time to really go. One day, enough was enough, and I had to find a way to come away from the drinking culture. That was the next thing that I needed to understand.

What kind of steps did you take? Did you have people around you who didn't drink.

So I went sober at the start of January 2020 I was in Barbados; I had just worked over Christmas on a cruise ship, and I had overindulged in Rum and Coke in Barbados along the beach I said to my husband, my partner, "I'm done That's it I'm absolutely done I'm not doing this When we get home, I'm doing a whole year off alcohol " It marked 20 years in the entertainment industry for me because I got into it in 2000 So in 2020, I thought, "Wouldn't it be amazing to make some significant changes for the length of time I've been in the entertainment industry? It's like a new me That was the old me Now, let's get on with a new, healthier version of me " I had thoughts of pulling away from the entertainment industry I checked off all my to-do list boxes I performed in Chicago, was part of a pop band, featured in a soap opera, won Dancing on Ice, did numerous musicals, and had an incredible career In the end, I wasn't really enjoying my job like I used to because I'd achieved so much at such a young age I even had my own perfume and other incredible accomplishments that would take a whole lifetime for someone to achieve

I thought, "I just want to start a brand new chapter, go on this health journey, and quit drinking." I adopted a plant-based diet, took up running, and it was all part of celebrating the new me. I always envisioned this person I wanted to be, someone who was really active, and alcohol just held me back. It took my life away from me, stopped me from being active and adventurous, and kept me in a trap. It prevented me from truly living. It's funny because the irony is you drink alcohol to set yourself free, but it does the exact opposite. It certainly did for me.

Do you feel more confident now?

Oh yeah I've gained a lot more certainty about who I am, which obviously boosts my confidence because I don't have to doubt myself It's amazing You learn that you can really trust yourself and become the master of your own destiny, can't you, when you know I used to always say, if I could quit alcohol, that would literally be the making of me because it would give me the ability to set boundaries, say no to things, and really uphold my values And that's what I can trust myself to do: have my own values, establish boundaries, and have this inner confidence that I'm going to show up for myself It's all from quitting booze One thing It's funny because I used to take courses to try and reach this point, to become that person I would explore topics like confidence, how to achieve financial success in seven days, or finding your true self You know, all those self-help books; I had a stack of them so high I would think, "How can I do this?" All I needed to do was quit alcohol That's what I needed to do

Did your passion for running start before your sobriety or literally since you started?

It was literally since I basically quit alcohol and realised I have loads of space and time on my hands. I was waking up early and thinking, "Well, no one's out of bed yet. Yeah, I'll journal or do something." I just wondered, "What should I do? What shall I do on weekends as well?" because I wasn't interested in going to pubs and just sitting, listening to other people talk nonsense.

I set up a business, and I now work as a motivational speaker. My life is completely different. Normally, I'd be on the road for six months doing a musical or participating in a reality TV show. Now, it's more like, "I'm going to do a motivational speaking gig in Wales or Scotland," or "I'm going to do podcasts about health and wellbeing." I'm participating in fitness festivals over the summer. My life has completely transformed. I never thought I would be like this, even a vegan now.

My food choices are entirely different, and everything about me is the complete opposite of the person I used to be.

How did your group of friends, your family respond to you when you said, I'm not drinking anymore?

They had to get to know a new me, and not everyone likes that You know, and I've noticed that some people are no longer as present in my life as they used to be, and that's okay I think it's a bit like we haven't spoken, and that's fine; we'll just leave it at that We don't really need to get back into those types of people anymore The type of people I hang around with are the kind of people I would probably have teased with my friends

Why did you start the business?

I started to document my story online, and my account blew up - sharing my alcohol-free journey I began by sharing my mental health story and being completely transparent about my struggles with mental health Then I mentioned, "You know, I've now been three months sober " I think before that, I didn't want to say anything in case I'd fail

So I wanted to see how it was going for me, and then I started to completely share exactly what I was doing I began doing the lockdown workouts with friends I did workouts on one day, which was a big boost on Wednesdays because I was working with a company called Pict Fresh As part of that, we brought in cooks and plant-based doctors and anyone I could find from the plant-based community. We did these cook-alongs online, chatting while cooking recipes. I'd learn something new, and people would join in. And from there, we attended something called "Habits Chat Tuesdays," where we talked about my alcohol-free journey. I was just documenting my running challenges and the accountability factor - all the stuff I was doing online was to help hold me accountable on my journey.

People started asking, "What's next in the Happy Plan? What are you doing? What workout are you doing? What cook-along are you doing? What are you talking about?" I talked to people on Happy to Chat Tuesdays, which included discussions about alcohol-free journeys, mental health, expectations, and their stories. It wasn't limited to just talking to celebrities or high-profile influencers; I talked to everyone, and the response was great. I thought, "There's a business in this, a community of people coming together who want to celebrate wellness."

That's where the Happy Health Group was born I started with challenges, like who wants to do a 28day challenge, "Eat Clean," "Get Fit," and it was quite structured As the community evolved, it became a wellness community We offer alcohol-free support, all our recipes are plant-based, and we host plantbased cook-alongs

We focus on eating whole foods and making plates more colourful Sustainability is a key message, and every company we partner with has to be sustainable It's a place of wellbeing, and I believe that if you thrive, we all thrive, and the planet thrives When you start looking after yourself, you become more mindful of your plastic usage and travel habits It certainly was a domino effect for me

I thought it would be amazing to have a home that covers everything - fitness, alcohol-free support, personal growth, and mindfulness We now emphasise mindfulness as a leading part of the company, with daily journaling, motivation, meditation and yoga sessions It's a hub of wellness for you to nourish yourself in all areas, and you can dip in and out whenever you want

How can people get involved, find out about the Happy Health Club?

So it's £9.99 a month and we do different challenges. We have ten minute workouts which will really change your mindset towards movement. We've partnered with a company called Wild Training who are possibly for me, one of the best kind of fitness companies I've ever worked with because they're not they're not about doing things traditionally. They just shift your mindset towards movement and this like really effective workouts that you feel like you've probably done a work out for an hour, but you've done 10 minutes. To find out more head to the website below.

Follow Suzanne - Instagram

www.thehappyhealthclub.com

LOS ANGELES, CA – The renowned Rock to Recovery program, known for its impactful interventions in the realm of treatment and recovery, proudly announces its 6th annual fundraiser sponsored by Loosid Sober Dating. With the iconic Megan Holiday of KROQ at the helm as host, the night will celebrate the astounding contributions of Travis Mills and Brandon Novak to the recovery community.

ROCK TO RECOVERY

Mills, a familiar face from MTV and "Girlfriends", will be bestowed with the Rock to Recovery ICON Award In contrast, Brandon Novak, notably recognized for "Jackass" and "Viva La Bam", will receive the Rock to Recovery Service Award Set against the backdrop of the historic Fonda Theatre in Hollywood on Saturday, August 26th, 2023, the event promises a night filled with musical ecstasy Attendees will be treated to a rare gathering of the all-star band, boasting names such as Scott Underwood from Train, Wes Geer of Korn and Hed PE, Acey Slade from Misfits and Joan Jett, Sonny Mayo of Sevendust, MIYAVI –the Last Rockstar and Actor from 'Unbroken', and Emily V from The Adicts

Loosid Sober Dating, this year's title sponsor, has pioneered a digital platform dedicated exclusively to the sober community. MJ Gottlieb, Co-Founder, and CEO of Loosid, passionately elaborated on the collaboration: “Loosid resonates with those seeking a vibrant, sober life. Our core belief, to live sober and love sober, aligns seamlessly with Rock to Recovery's mission. Together, we're emphasizing that sobriety is the beginning of a fulfilling journey, and we're honored to champion this event.”

Over the years, Rock to Recovery has seen a stellar lineup of artists and honorees including but not limited to Golden Globe Winner Katey Sagal, Mike Ness from Social Distortion, Corey Taylor of Slipknot, and Academy Award Winner Bryan Fogel. The awards stand testament to the inspiring journeys of public figures who've navigated the choppy waters of addiction in challenging industries, thus serving as pillars of hope to many. The urgency for such platforms is palpable, especially with the alarming spike in overdose deaths and suicide rates. Wes Geer, the visionary behind Rock to Recovery, emphasized, “Music has an uncanny healing touch. This event isn't just about celebration but also about igniting hope and demonstrating the power of community.”

About Rock to Recovery: Rock to Recovery is a transformative program for those undergoing treatment and recovery. Through music and artistic expression, they offer a unique approach to healing and support. Founded by Wes Geer, the program has grown exponentially, touching countless lives in its mission. For more information, visit Rock to Recovery's Website

Photo credits - Chris Loomis

Autumn Mocktails

For award-winning non-alcoholic mixologist and drinks expert Emma Newman alcohol-free drinks are a way of life and she likes nothing better than crafting cocktails that utilise seasonally available ingredients and compliment the season. In this Autumnal issue of The Sober Edit Emma shares four deliciously refreshing mocktails that are bursting with harmonious flavours and capture the essence of Fall.

CAppleandardamonSour

You’ll Need

25ml Nonsuch Bittersweet Apple and Cardamon

Shrub

50ml Apple Juice *

25ml Aquafaba (or 1 Egg White)

Generous Squeeze of Lime

To Make Chill a coupe glass

Add the ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice

Shake well

Strain into chilled glass

Garnish with an apple fan or juicy blackberry

Serve and Enjoy

* Freshly juiced apple juice is ideal

Otherwise use a premium cloudy apple juice

ESaltedCaramel spressoMartini

You’ll Need

45ml Lyre’s Coffee Originale

15ml Strykk N*t Vanilla V*dka

45ml Cold Brew Coffee

15ml Salted Caramel Syrup

2 Marshmallows

2 Squares Quality Chocolate

Handful Roasted Chopped Hazelnuts

To Make

Chill a coupe glass

Meet chocolate

Dip marshmallows into melted chocolate then dip into the nuts and allow to cool

Or/ roast your marshmallows

Add all the ingredients to a shaker (no ice)

Dry shake

1/2 fill shaker with ice

Shake hard

Strain into chilled glass

Garnish with marshmallows

Emma is over seven years sober and documents her sober journey and shared drinks recipes on Instagram

@emma sobersonic

Mulled Cider

You’ll Need

You’ll Need

330ml Maiden Mill 0.5% Golden Medium Cider

Zest of half an orange pared into strips

4 whole cloves

1 slice of ginger

I star anise

2 cinnamon sticks

Grated nutmeg

To Make

Pour the cider into a saucepan and gently heat.

Add the orange zest and spices and bring to simmer.

Keep on a low heat for 10 minutes.

Ladle into mugs, garnish with a star anise and serve.

Basil Blackberry Smash

50ml Mahala Botanical

I tsp golden sugar

3 Basil Leaves plus extra for garnish

6 Frozen Blackberries

20ml Freshly Squeezed Lime Juice

50ml Double Dutch Ginger Ale

Fresh Blackberries for garnish

To Make

Muddle sugar, lime juice and frozen blackberries into your shaker.

Add Mahala Botanical and ice

Shake well

Strain over ice into a tumbler

Top with ginger ale

Garnish with fresh basil and blackberries

Serve and enjoy immediately

I will always refer to you both as Demon No.1 and Demon No.2.

CD With your long and sharp, piercing claws latched and buried deep into my back. You have both fed off my insecurity, anxiety, low self-worth and lack of confidence throughout my entire life.

With every continuous selfish and catastrophic life event, you grew bigger and stronger until I could no longer carry you both and I finally fell apart.

As you sucked out every last bit of dignity, levels of trust and respect I had left with loved ones and any sense of happiness, I could not carry on anymore

It’s interesting how we started out, as what I thought, was a great friendship between us all. Always hand in hand, never leaving one behind and venturing out with my exciting poisonous, chemical companions

So much laughter, fun times, living for the moment, not a care in the world. I have always been so loyal to you both, putting you first, before everyone and everything Hoping you would never leave me and chasing you to stay. Being alone was far too scary for me

Volunteering to have bigger and bigger chunks ripped out of me, despite the deeper the pain intensity you inflicted each time.

Until you grew greedier and hungrier, not giving a shit about other people’s feelings, only concentrating on what we wanted. Turning happiness into sadness, confidence into isolation and love into hate.

Remember the laughs we had but always at the expense of others and myself

All of the times I thought we would end up happy but it only lead to utter sadness

That time I crashed my car into that house after drinking all night and wrote it off. Going to court and being told that if I had crashed just inches to the left, I would have killed the entire family inside including myself.

he time I woke up in hospital because I got so wasted, I punched a mirror, stepped on broken glass bare footed and blood was everywhere The ambulance crew having to struggle to carry me down three flights of stairs because I was so drunk

GOODBYE TO DRINK AND DRUGS LETTER

What a waste of these people’s time when they could have been elsewhere helping others

When I jumped off that eight-foothigh wall and broke my heel and was on crutches for months nearly losing my job

Going missing in Birmingham for days at a time drinking and taking drugs. Ending up at a random person’s house, not really knowing anyone to “continue the party” Then end up stranded needing to get home.

Breaking my knuckles after punching a wall for no real reason.

Projectile vomiting everywhere in clubs and being thrown out numerous times for being such a mess. Then continuing to be sick in a taxi and having to pay to have them cleaned

This list could go on and on and on

It is so shameful that I continued feeding you both with endless disastrous life events where I could literally write an entire book about self-destruction. The genre 100% horror.

Like parasites or a dog tick pulled out too fast, you demons will always have your claws inside me, and I will always carry your vile curse and demonic possession.

But now it’s time for starvation. No more feeding and I am conducting my own personal mental exorcism

Time to restore resentment to trust, mockery to respect, selfloathing to self confidence and it’s finally the time to say goodbye forever

I know it will be tough but through consistent therapy, family and friends, self-care and hard work (plus all the meds), it’s time to build bridges instead of burning them, build my self-confidence instead of self-destruction and I will never be seeing you both again.

Time to focus on being the best version of myself, one day at a time and this can not happen being friends with either of you.

So, to sum up this goodbye letter politely.

Leave me alone as I’m bigger than you both now. I am finally excited for the future without you Healthy, clean and positive

I will stand tall on my own I will be stronger than I ever thought possible. I will be happy All without you.

Let me know and I’ll make some adjustments.

Many thanks, Luke.

Luke Bayliss

Follow Luke's journey on Instagram - llukebayliss

Sober Fashion

BIRD + WOLF

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