06-07
William
20-21
10-11
Meet The Sober Awkward Pocast
THE ORIGINS OF ADDICTION BY WILLIAM
32-33
Matt Pink's No Booze Cruise
04 Editor's Note
05 Buzz of Sober Living by
Kirsty Mulcahy08
I ended up in 'Stucksville' and wasn't sure how to get out.
12-13
Needing to feel like a grown-up and not like a baby machine?
By Katie Taylor12
Poetry - Sober
By Paula Bothamley14-15
Frail or fierce? What's in your glass can make all the difference by Kelly
Betts16-17
Heatwaved-fuelled spontaneity By Kath
Ludlow
17
The Sober Edit Playlist
17
Seven Tips to Flourish in Early Sobriety By Sober Flourish
18
Trust your Intuition
By Chrissy Janiga19
Can you control how much you drink?
by Kate Davidson42
39
Summer Music Festivals and Weddings- Can you have fun with out a drink?
22-23
48-50
Summer Mocktails with Sarah aka Sobersonic
A journey to the rooftop of the world
By Andy Garwood24
From Darkness to Light: How the evening ritual illuminates the path to a sober life
26-27
Stop drinking and watch your gut heal!
28-29
We Love Lucid: Why don't you create travel experiences for people that don't drink.
34-35
Blackouts are not normal
By Tasha Coleman36
Sober Book Club by Emily
Tisshaw37
Introducing: The Sober Dating App
38
Sober Sixties: We were hardcore devotes of the Drink by Rosaleen Palmer
41
The Ten Biggest Mistakes: Made by Sober Entrepreneurs by Clare
Honeyfield
43-45
My Sober Journey
By Luke Bayliss46
Why Alcohol and good nutrition don't mix By
Trish Trucker-May Transforming body image in recovery by Lucy BloomfieldHello and welcome to the very first issue of Sober Edit! We're absolutely thrilled to have you join us on this exciting journey of celebrating the beauty and possibilities of a sober lifestyle. Get ready to embark on a magazine experience that aims to redefine the narrative surrounding sobriety, wellness, and personal growth.
In a world that often associates happiness and success with external validations, The Sober Edit dares to challenge the status quo. We firmly believe that clarity, creativity, and inspiration can be found in the pursuit of sobriety. Our mission is to showcase the remarkable stories and experiences of individuals who have chosen this transformative path.
At The Sober Edit, we're all about fostering a warm, inclusive community. We recognise that sobriety is a deeply personal journey, and we honour the diverse paths that have brought our readers here. Whether you're taking your first steps or have been living a sober life for years, this magazine is here for you. Each issue is thoughtfully curated to provide you with engaging articles, expert advice from professionals specialising in various aspects of holistic wellness We'll dive into topics like mindful living, alternative therapies, creativity, relationships, and finding purpose all through the lens of sobriety
The Sober Edit serves as a platform to amplify voices that often go unheard because we truly believe in the power of storytelling to inspire and connect Our contributors come from diverse backgrounds and share their personal triumphs, challenges, and lessons learned We hope their stories will resonate with you, providing comfort, encouragement, and inspiration
As we embark on this exciting journey together, we want to encourage you to actively engage with us Share your thoughts, suggestions, and personal experiences with our vibrant community We're here to foster dialogue, offer support, and create a safe space where everyone feels valued and heard
Our heartfelt gratitude goes out to our talented team of writers, artists, and contributors who poured their passion and creativity into making The Sober Edit a reality Their dedication and commitment have helped shape this magazine into what it is today
Lastly, we want to express our deepest appreciation to you, our amazing readers. It's your curiosity, openmindedness, and thirst for growth that inspire us to continue pushing boundaries and providing valuable content. Together, let's challenge societal norms, celebrate the power of sobriety, and embrace the infinite possibilities that lie before us.
Welcome to Sober Edit where clarity meets creativity, and sobriety becomes a catalyst for change.
With gratitude,
Becki Lane Editor-in-Chief The Sober Edit Magazine
On December 28th 2017 I (after 14 years of trying) finally stopped drinking and I thought the fun was over, at the age of 41 I believed that I had hung up my fun hat and was destined for a life of dull, grey doom I couldn’t have been more wrong!
The first 6 months were pretty ropey, I was a recovering alcoholic and had to navigate life where everyone and their dog seemed to socialise with alcohol and I legit thought I would enter a bar, jump over and guzzle from the optics!
In the last 5 years my life has been beyond my wildest dreams! I say that cause I never ever thought I could stop drinking. I am now smashing that and full of the SoberBuzz.
The further I got into my life of sobriety the more I was able to see that the last ten years of my drinking were the complete opposite of fun. I lived a Russian roulette of drinking and hoping for a different outcome other than blackouts, regrets, shocking hangovers and rotten mental health.
The contradiction of having fun with alcohol but managing your mental health is to me (now) beyond comprehension. An hour or two of “fun” robbed me of days of fun, peace and stability.
These days I find joy in the everyday and I put a lot of that down to my gratitude practice that I started on the day I stopped drinking. As of today I am 2006 days of writing at least three things I am grateful for as soon as I wake. A stark contrast to waking and starting the day with shame and regret. My gratitude practice doesn’t mean my life doesn’t get tough but it allows me to deal with the tough times easier.
From thinking fun was drinking at home or going to the pub and getting blackout drunk I now travel solo, go to gigs, festivals, raves and retreats I retrained and now support others in finding the SoberBuzz, I volunteer both in the community and in prisons supporting others with more complex needs I truly have to pinch myself that I get to do all this because I stopped drinking
SoberBuzz was started as a microblog to share this buzz and over the years it’s become a community We have run sober events and meet-ups and now we are a Community Interest Company and we plan to raise money and get into the community and share the absolute buzz of sober living! Me of five and a half years ago would never believe this and that in itself is a sober buzz!
Kirsty Mulcahy @ soberbuzzscotland linktr.ee/SkyRoseCoachingToday I live a life of technicolour! When I look back on my drinking days they were dark and grey and I couldn’t see any future I adore my life now and that is some (sober) buzz!
Let me tell you about my alter ego or ‘Bob’ as I called him.
Bob would hide away during the day but come out to play after the first drink. Even though Will didn’t want him to, he would arrive regardless.
Bob would say we HAVE to have another drink. He would say we HAVE to go to the next bar. He would say we HAVE to buy a gram of coke.
I would be dragged along for the ride even though I had been mentally contesting it all day. Stuck in that persistent and relentless mental battle up until the moment I had that first drink, then I would give up.
As soon as that train left the station there was no stopping it, so why bother trying?
I would disappear and return at 5am to see the mess that Bob has created.
I’m sat in my living room. Drunk, high, alone and restless.
I am scraping and licking the residue of cocaine off a plate with empty bottles all around me and an overwhelming sense of shame
I pace around my flat, my mind racing about the situation I’m in.
I have a heavy pit in my stomach and my body is flooded with guilt & regret.
He called the shots - and drank them too!
Before I knew it I was right back to pacing my flat as the sun comes up feeling so frustrated that I had no control over my actions.
’Why did I do this to myself again?!’
As soon as the alcohol and cocaine wore off, so would Bob. He would sink into remission and leave me to clean up the mess.
I spent years in a battle with Bob never knowing why it was so easy for me to forget the pain he would bring to my life
I would be tricked by the glamour, the pressure and the ‘you only live once’ talk.
‘If everyone is doing it then it must be okay?’ ‘Why does no one else suffer like I do?’
’Maybe next time I can just moderate’
For so long I played this game of trying to find the right balance of how to regain control of the situation but the one fact that I refused to accept for so many years was that it was always the first drink that lead to Bob returning.
‘No one is coming to save you’ I would tell myself I had to take action.
There was only ever one way to control Bob, and that was to keep him locked away, forever! He no longer calls to be let out but instead slowly starved & disappeared from my mind.
I am back in control
I no longer have a mess to clean up.
I am free to wake peacefully in the morning, breathe deep and feel gratitude for being present with myself.
This is the life I used to dream of when I was curled up on the couch hating myself.
For so many years I saw no hope, no light and no future
This is not to say he could never return….of course he could.
He just needs his fuel - alcohol
Without alcohol he cannot survive.
It’s now been 5 years since I’ve seen Bob and I’m grateful for every day without him
William Armstrong Sobriety Coach
Instagram: @teetotaltrainer
TikTok: @teetotaltrainer1
This quote by Paulo Coelho sums up the journey I guide women through with the power of Life Coaching and Spiritual Mentoring
Releasing all that no longer serves you to allow yourself to create and live a life you love. The releasing and the creating take time, commitment, and the desire to be you
Yet each of us embarks on this journey; mine has led me to share it with you today. My sober journey began the moment I took my first sip. Which was most likely a Snowball or a Babycham; it was the 80s
I never loved 'drinking'; I just did it because, well, society programs us to. Celebrate, have a drink, have a tough day, have a drink.
Life threw a few curveballs that made me pause for a bit, yet I always managed to jump straight back in, doubting my ability to have fun or cope without a negroni or two.
Until the perimenopause came knocking, a little earlier than expected, I was 38.
Over the next 4 years, my relationship with alcohol changed. Firstly, for the worse. I began drinking more and remembering less, and it became allconsuming You know you've headed down the wrong path when you have a glass of red as a recovery drink after exercising.
After sitting on the bottom step of my stairs for an hour sobbing and screaming to the universe, I discovered what I wanted from life I had an overwhelming desire to live a long, very long, healthy, happy, balanced and purposeful life. At 102, I aim to be able to do what I can do today and more
For me to be able to do this, there needed to be a shift.
On Sunday, 22nd October 2017, I took my very last sip, and from that moment, I began to remember who I was and discover who I was meant to be.
My WHY led to my passion, and my passion led me to create The Purposeful Life; my purpose is to pay it forward.
For me to be able to do this, there needed to be a shift.
On Sunday, 22nd October 2017, I took my very last sip, and from that moment, I began to remember who I was and discover who I was meant to be.
And I like this person a lot.
I was lost and scared, and I knew I had to make a change
Kate Drummond Dip. FTST IIHHT Holistic Life Coach
"MAYBETHEJOURNEYISN'TSOMUCHABOUTBECOMING ANYTHING.MAYBEIT'SABOUTUN-BECOMINGEVERYTHING THATISN'TREALLYYOU,SOYOUCANBEWHOYOUWERE MEANTTOBEINTHEFIRSTPLACE."
I had ended up in 'Stucksville' and wasn't sure how to get out.
Australia-based Sober advocate Victoria Vanstone (Aka - Drunk Mummy Sober Mummy) has been logging her sobriety journey for over four years and her Podcast ‘Sober Awkward’ just reached a million downloads! Her and her partner in crime, Hamish, are heading on a comedy tour around Australia and her book ‘A Thousand Wasted Sundays will be released in Feb - It’s all go for this mother of three as she tries to raise awareness around socially acceptable alcoholism Her podcast is fast becoming a steadfast tool for those stepping into an alcohol-free lifestyle
Vic teamed up with Hamish last year – a newly sobercurious Dad, and series 6 of Sober Awkward starts next week These two ex- booze bags are here to tell it like it is – vomit, one-night stands, and unwanted visits to the STD clinic Sober Awkward will not only get you questioning your own alcohol intake but these two will get you giggling, their stories of misadventure mean this podcast is relatable and cringingly familiar.
‘We’ve all wandered down the high street with a traffic cone on our heads, passed out on a pub toilet floor, and vomited on a stranger at a festival!
We hope by sharing our shame shed full of drunken misconduct the rest of the world won’t feel so bad about theirs ‘
Victoria believes that people are becoming more aware that binge drinking is affecting anxiety and mental health globally The podcast urges listeners to seek help for mid-range drinking problems and her message is that, surprisingly, you don’t have to be anywhere near rock bottom to quit alcohol, and being sober is not boring at all
The new series, out now on Spotify, will log Hamish’s sober journey, as he faces the booze drenched social world stone cold sober. He says,‘
I think the world is starting to understand that binge drinking, and any sort of over-drinking is having massive impact, not just on the individual but families and communities We’re beginning to recognise a place between the pub and an AA meeting where some are falling through the cracks and even though they’re suffering are not getting the help they need We are here to fill that gap and give everyone a laugh along the way!’
‘We called the podcast ‘Sober Awkward’ because that’s how Vic and I feel a lot of the time Learning how to be sober socially is really hard and there are some extremely awkward interactions that you have to navigate Things like going to a bar for the first time, telling people that you’re choosing sobriety and even sober dating Doing anything you used to do drunk, sober, can be very confronting which is why the motto of our podcast is -
‘Feel the awkward and do it anyway!’ We want our listeners to know that we find those things awkward too and it’s all part of this zig zaggy road to sobriety’
These two ex- binge drinking party animals bring unequivocal honesty to the sober scene. They both have a passion for helping people whose drinking is having negative repercussions on their lives and hope their insightful chats about being awkward will help others seek support
‘Our podcast is aimed at anyone questioning their drinking habits, we want to reach people and let them know we’ve been there We’ve both experienced shame and anxiety because of alcohol and we hope our positive and sometimes thought-provoking conversations, reach people that feel ready to make some changes in their lives We are both proof that there is life after alcohol and it’s not as awful and boring as some might think ’
‘Just being you, without booze, is awkward, but those first interactions do get easier ’ Says Victoria, ‘I look forward to sober socialising now I know I’m going to have fun, have real authentic conversations, no hangover and remember the whole entire night! It’s brilliant, I might even do some sober dancing occasionally, I’ve still got a few swan dives in me yet!’
Vic and Hamish’s podcast addresses a place that has been missed, a type of ‘socially acceptable alcoholism ’ A common sort of drinking habit that is cheered on from the sidelines and feels so ingrained in us and in society, that imagining another way is unfathomable
But as they have discovered, sobriety, with all its awkwardness, is so much better than drunk.
Alcohol is constantly pushed on us as a way to cope with stressful situations such as parenting I remember walking into my local supermarket and seeing wine bottles stacked up on the shelf under a banner that read ‘Back to School Supplies’ When drinking and parenting are paired together to this extent, it really does take a rebel to say no thanks From boozy picnics in the park, play dates with paddling polls that involved rose and winter walks that included flasks of hot mulled wine, I did all of these things I was the one bringing the wine!
But I look back on it now and I know without a doubt that drinking did not relax me It certainly didn’t make me a better parent I remember telling the night doctor that I’d had a glass of wine so I couldn't drive my sick child into the late-night surgery to be checked out How cool is that! It’s
Forget cake, mummy wine culture meant I could have my Pinot and drink it too! The whole concept of it being acceptable to drink while having babies and young children was me all over and I signed up immediately Stressful day of nappies and bottles? Wine Feeling lonely and isolated? Wine Tired? Wine Needing to feel like a grown-up and not a baby machine? Wine you
But the truth is, this attitude that alcohol is in some way a good coping mechanism, or a treat for being a parent, is so flawed it’s dangerous.
And it’s not just accepted, it’s encouraged. In fact, I would take it even further and say you can be ousted from a friendship group if you don’t drink! I know this because I’ve seen it happen.
Alcohol dehydrates you; it affects your sleep; it slows down your brain; it causes anxiety and stress; it gives you hangovers. Who in their right mind could ever know these things and think it was a good idea to drink while trying to juggle parenting? Me. I did.
And the reason I ignored all of the facts is because (a) I liked wine and didn’t need much of an excuse and (b) I got validation that it was ok everywhere I looked.
Drinking to deal with something you are struggling with is a bad idea. If you are drinking because you are tired, guess what, it leads to worse sleep. Because you are stressed? It leads to increased anxiety. To avoid facing up to problems? They are still there and you are dealing with them the next day, only with a hangover.
Alcohol is sold at school fetes and Christmas productions in my local school It’s sold at sporting presentations to celebrate our kids’ little leagues. Parents in the playground chat about their next night out like they are planning an escape from Alcatraz. But just because all of this is happening, doesn’t make it right. And if you don’t drink and the other mums at the school pick-up don’t want to hang around with you based on that alone, what a great indicator that they aren’t ever going to be good friends anyway
I can promise you this. I will never say ‘I wish I drank more as a parent’ and my children will never say ‘I wish mum had drunk more when we were young’. Those words sound totally wrong when you hear them and that’s because deep down, despite the way it is pushed at us from every direction, alcohol isn’t good for us and we know that
The truth is, parents deserve so much more than alcohol They deserve support, sleep and self-care.
It’s Friday night, I just can’t wait To hit the pub and stay out late Nothing beats a night of booze
So gladrags on, and dancing shoes
The pub is full, the musics loud I grab a drink and find my crowd I down my drink, I’m feeling good As alcohol invades my blood
Drink is flowing, speech is slurred Bodies swaying, vision blurred
I’m slowly losing all control And heading for that dark black hole
My mind is blank, I cannot walk I cannot see or hear or talk I’m vulnerable and unaware I cannot see the danger there
Next thing I know I’m home in bed
Feeling scared and full of dread I can’t recall the night before My body aches, my head is sore.
I wrack my brain, I’ve no idea How I got myself back here I text my friends but they don’t know They left me drinking, I wouldn’t go
Now all I have is anxiety and pain
Damage imbedded deep in my brain
All this was caused by a toxin we choose With nothing to gain and so much to lose
So I made a decision to change my life
Katie TaylorA writer choosing life without alcohol because I’ve drunk my share, and half of yours
Host - The Sober Effect Podcast
Instagram - walking-the-straight-line
To rid myself of the worry and strife I no longer drink the poisonous stuff That gives us a buzz, then makes us feel rough
My life is now full of wonderful things A positive life that sobriety brings Just try it today, I promise you’ll get Change for the better, you’ll never regret
By Paula Bothamley
When you imagine yourself ageing, what do you picture? A frail, defeated version of yourself, unable to do all the things you once loved? Many of us are apprehensive about getting older because we often hear seniors express these common complaints:
-poor sleep and tiredness
-weight gain
-weakness
-memory issues
-digestive ailments
-loss of appetite
-concerns about wrinkles, dry skin, and brittle nails
-worried about falling
-chronic health issues (e.g., diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol…)
No wonder we can feel apprehensive about getting older
The fact is, we all age However, how we age is actually well within our control After all, nobody is forcing us to eat those deep-fried foods, to skip that workout, to drink those pints
I am convinced that we can start to prevent (and even reverse) many ailments by doing just one thing: removing alcohol It is the catalyst that sets a host of other healthy habits in motion, paving the path to an infinitely better quality of life While giving up alcohol is often the last thing people think of, I think it should be the first
What if we flipped the narrative and started to view ageing as an opportunity? With age comes more life experience, more wisdom and, in retirement, more free time
The one hand, that free time could be spent in pubs, socialising over endless rounds Or, it could be used to do things like become fitter, to learn to prepare healthy delicious meals, take up new activities and hobbies, spend more time with family and friends, travel, enroll in classes, visit museums and art exhibitions, volunteer, develop your spiritual side… to really get out there and try all the things you never had time to while you were busy working. The drive to do any of these wonderful things will be lower if alcohol is in the picture, however It has a sneaky way of wiping out motivation and making our worlds smaller. Consider that, by removing alcohol, this could be your life: -you enjoy deep, restorative sleep every night and wake up energized -you reach a healthy weight because you’re not consuming empty calories from alcohol, you exercise consistently, and make better food choices -you look great - you’re
engaging in regular exercise, including strength training. So, while other people your age lose muscle mass, you remain strong and resilient
People comment on your youthful appearance and often mistake you for being younger than you are!
You protect your precious memories by dramatically reducing your likelihood of developing dementia; your mental health is protected and can improve -your digestion improves, helping you to feel well
-you have a healthy appetite and look forward to eating nutritious meals
-you are vibrant, your skin is more hydrated, your hair and nails are strengthened
No fillers or injections could come close to your natural glow that comes from the inside out.
-you have better balance due to exercising, protecting you from falls
-your diabetes and heart disease could be under control, your blood pressure could come down, your chances of developing many types of cancer are lowered, and your cholesterol could return to healthy levels
Rather than imagining yourself as frail, picture yourself energetically keeping up with your grandkids, walking that golf course when everyone else needs a cart, hiking that trail with ease, exploring new cities on foot for hours without feeling sore or tired, connecting with friends and family on a deeper level, and strutting down that beach with confidence while other seniors struggle just to keep their balance on the uneven sand. This is active ageing and it’s yours for the taking, and it all starts with what you put in your glass.
Kelly Betts Active Aging Coachhttps://www.thrivepersonaltraining.ca
It’s 7:34am on a Sunday morning. It’s been one of those seminal London weekends when the sun shines fiercely and there’s a heady mix of weekend plans and ‘fuck it’ heatwave-fuelled spontaneity sweeping infectiously across the city. Friday evening was date night - a leisurely stroll with my love through the park down to the river, past cafés and bars full of happy, smiley people with cold drinks in hand, faces turned to the clear blue sky. A delicious dinner in one of our favourite restaurants.
Saturday was a big one A friend’s street party was exciting on paper and even more thrilling and fun-filled on the day. I was in my element - dancing to great tunes with old friends and new, flitting from deep conversations to light banter, from moments of stillness to complete craziness. The party was magical, the very essence of London - heavy basslines from the sound system; jerk chicken on the barbecue; children careering giddily down the car-free street; a visiting fire engine; a chaotic tombola The traveller round the corner gave pony and trap rides. There was a dog show. It was magical, the kind of day that I never tire of, even after 30 years of living in this same familiar pocket of south London
But this weekend was different. Because I am undertaking a new adventure - that of being a consciously moderate drinker
Drinking moderately is a game changer for me - I’ve spent months at a time completely sober; I’ve also spent a lot of my life drinking and partying more than most. I’ve had some great adventures. Alcohol still plays a part in my life. But I’m happy to say it’s becoming a bit player, it’s no longer one of the major characters that’s ever present on holidays, hey days, celebrations, and meals out.
I’m loving this new stage of exploration into the world of the ‘sober curious’ Life for me is about change, new experiences and adventures; alcohol-fuelled nights started becoming a bit one-dimensional and unmemorable in more ways than one… and yet there is still the odd occasion when I want a drink
So for now, having experimented with sober celebrations, sober holidays and sober girls’ nights out, I've decided I'm going to explore mindful, very moderate drinking Friday’s date night would have involved cocktails, a second or third bottle of wine, a late bar - no limits Yesterday’s sun-drenched street party and sound system combo would have seen me with an ever-present glass of rosé in hand As it was, I set a two-unit limit on both nights, and had one of the most life-affirming weekends I’ve had for ages
It’s 7:34am on a sunny Sunday morning. I rise with a smile and a clear head, pack my swimming stuff and cycle to the lido across a blissfully quiet common for an early dip and coffee. Life feels good and I know that part of that is down to the fact that alcohol plays an increasingly small part in it.
By Kath Ludlow
The Sober Edit Playlist - August 2023
If you had told me two years ago I would have stopped drinking red wine and written a book, I would not have believed you Going alcohol-free changed my life and when I began to listen to my intuition (gut, inner voice) I was shocked by what I heard I started my alcohol-free journey in January 2022 I thought about not drinking for a huge part of my 30’s. I believe I was guided to stop drinking, but it took time to actually say I was ready to see what going alcohol-free was all about. Through a few failed attempts and emotional breakdowns, I quit for good in November 2022. While I was taking a walk after I decided I was done with alcohol, I heard myself say that “doors will open if you quit drinking.” I have no clue if this was God, my higher self, or the universe, but it was my voice, and it changed my life.
Each year I write down what I want to manifest into my life. In 2023, I said that I wanted to find my bigger purpose and do something that feeds my soul. When I was taking a walk, I had the thought of writing a children’s book.
I finished my children’s book and should have it published in Spring 2023. I decided I wanted to start coaching and helping others go alcohol-free and work on their mindset. I then thought of writing another book on habits and behaviors I have started to write that book
I believe that when I was drinking alcohol, I spent a lot of energy on recovering from a hangover, thinking about how much water I needed to drink to try to avoid the hangover, and really just getting down on myself when I didn’t do what I set out to do Alcohol brought my vibes down and once I removed it, I had more time and energy to dream big.
I don’t know what my future holds, but I plan to help others and listen to the voice that tells me to keep following my purpose. I have a lot of fulfilment in my life and I owe that to ditching booze and trusting myself. What’s really beautiful is I had no idea I could be creative and write. I had no clue I could impact people. By removing a toxic substance from my life, I started to follow my desires that I didn't know were possible. I can’t wait to see what other doors open up!
Tips to improve your intuition: meditation, walking, going into nature, and journaling are a few strategies I use.
Chrissy Janiga Mindset Coach
If your attempts to moderate your alcohol consumption keep falling short, here’s why
Alcohol is an addictive substance. It’s legal, easily accessible, deeply embedded in Western culture, and highly addictive. If you are worried that you cannot regulate your drinking, this is a very common concern Please keep reading
Of course, not everyone who drinks alcohol develops a problem or addiction. Many people can ‘enjoy responsibly’ as per the advertisers’ advice.
But I do speak from experience when I say that alcoholism is a progressive disease and that a bad habit left unchecked can easily become an addiction I began binge drinking at a young age and first realised that I had a serious alcohol abuse problem at the age of nineteen. I became aware that I could not drink alcohol ‘normally’ in that I could not control when, or how much, I drank Before that, drinking was fun I was blissfully unaware that alcohol was significantly altering my young brain’s chemistry and functioning during my years of heavy drinking as a teenager.
Every time we consume alcohol our brains release dopamine and endorphins which are responsible for making us feel pleasure, and for reducing pain and stress
Essentially our brains are rewarding us for drinking alcohol by making us feel better Regular drinking progressively alters the reward and pleasure centre in our brains, leading us to crave more alcohol
The chemicals in alcohol that make it addictive are so powerful that with long-term use, our brains learn to prioritise alcohol consumption over essential survival functions such as sleeping, eating, having sex, and human connection These significant neurological changes are the reason why you cannot resist alcohol, even when you really try! Now you know, you can stop berating yourself for struggling to curb your drinking. By the age of nineteen my drinking had intensified, and I became both psychologically and physically addicted to alcohol. It was terrifying.
I told no-one Through sheer willpower I managed to gradually reduce my intake and sober up Despite this experience I did not quit drinking I convinced myself that I had my drinking under control and could be a social drinker. Most weekends in my twenties I drank heavily in spite of my previous experience of alcoholism. There were times when I was petrified that my drinking would descend into addiction again, followed by periods of reduced alcohol consumption
Looking back, I can see that my alcohol addiction was quietly gaining strength with every drink I had By my early thirties I once again became consumed by alcohol addiction I needed serious help and finally got sober after undergoing a medically assisted detox in hospital. Let my story empower you. If you are concerned about how much you are drinking, please speak to someone you trust If you have a feeling that you may have a problematic relationship with alcohol, you are probably right You might compare your level of drinking to mine and think yours is not that bad. You may well be right. Your drinking is not that bad - yet. Alcohol is addictive and addiction is a progressive disease. Don’t wait for the catastrophe like I did. Seek professional help It is scary but you will never regret taking steps to seriously cut back, or cut out, your alcohol intake It was the best thing I ever did, and I am healthier, happier, and free to be me because of it.
Kate Davidson
As hunger increases so does desperation The hungrier an animal or human becomes, the more they will be inclined to eat whatever is available. This is how people who are starving will eat things we might ordinarily never consider eating, like grass, leaves, insects or rodents Animals will generally stick to a certain type of food, but if that is no longer available and hunger increases, they will (through desperation) try alternative ways of sustaining themselves.
When they eat something new, one of two things will happen. Either that thing will make them ill, or it will have some nutritional value in which case they will start to feel better.
Life is adaptable It has to be in order to survive Our planet is subject to change Over its lifespan climate, environment, what will grow and what will not changes. The life that exists upon it has to adapt to these changes. One of the most obvious aspects of this is what we eat in order to survive
For most animals, this is fairly straightforward. It is partly genetic and partly learned. The genetic part is the digestive system of course, but it is also smell, taste, and hunger As available energy drops, so hunger increases. This hunger is satisfied by eating, and what smells and tastes good differs from creature to creature. The smell of cattle will smell of good food to tiger cubs. Sinking their teeth into the hide of a deer and the taste of fresh blood will feel and taste good to them. For herbivores, it is the smell and taste of fruits and vegetables that attract them. The mechanics of hunting and foraging for food is often learned from parents, but taste and smell are genetic
But what happens when a certain food source becomes scarce or dies out? If an animal couldn’t adapt and find new sustenance it would die out So what happens in this eventuality?
If the new food actually makes them feel better, they will learn from this experience and will continue to consume this new food and will start to adapt to it. In this way, life adapts and continues.
So we have this simple mechanism; if we consume something and it makes us feel good, we will start to
In this way our tastes can actually adapt. Think about an ‘acquired taste’. Taste is a chemical reaction between what is in your mouth and receptors on your tongue. It doesn’t change because it is an objective chemical process. But what does change is how your brain interprets the sensation. If you eat something unfamiliar you may think it doesn’t taste good, but if you persevere, if it assuages your hunger and doesn’t make you feel ill, you will eventually come to like it.
This mechanism doesn’t just apply to taste, but to experience. One of the most interesting aspect of this is snus, or dipping tobacco. This is a very fine, moist tobacco that is put between the gum and the cheek and nicotine is absorbed. It also causes mouth cancer and over the years can actually burn its way right through the cheek. What raises the question, if it is burning through the skin doesn’t it hurt? The answer is yes, it stings. But it also provides a hefty dose of nicotine, which relieves the withdrawal which is caused when the previous dose of nicotine wears off, leaving the user feeling more relaxed and content and alert than they were before they had the tobacco in their mouth. The brain reinterprets the stinging in light of the whole experience and adapts to it; a stinging in the mouth is usually considered bad, but this stinging has the result of leaving the user feeling far better. So the stinging is there, but the brain reinterests it as good thing. It starts to feel piquant, tingling, good.
This may seem astounding, but is it any different from inhaling smoke or drinking a substance that initially tastes foul and burns our throat? The burn we get form drinking alcohol is a carcinogenic chemical burning our living flesh, both in our throats and in our stomach But to the drinker it feels good; warming and comforting
The trouble is that this process only considers the immediate short term (15 or 20 minutes) because this is usually how long it takes for something we consume to have either a good or bad effect. It doesn’t look at the whole process So we take a drink and usually get a boost from it straight after So the brain calls it good and starts us off wanting to keep returning to it. It doesn’t factor in what happens after this, which is that the drink wears off leaving us feeling more uptight and anxious than we were before we took it. It doesn’t factor in the increased heart rate that leaves us feeling heavy and lethargic. And it doesn’t factor in that the alcohol then ruins our natural sleeping pattern, with the result that no matter how long you are in bed for, you wake up feeling tired and drained. The 15 minute boost from a drink is followed by 24 hours of feeling far under par But this just isn’t factored in to the brain’s learning process.
This, essentially, is how addictions works. It is our healthy and necessary ability to adapt, coupled with the fact that drugs confuse our system, giving the immediate appearance of conveying a benefit when in reality they cause significant detriment
William Porter Author at Alcohol Explained, Alcohol Awareness Speaker
https://alcoholexplained.com
Mount Everest, an awe-inspiring monument to human resilience and engineering, has captivated the hearts and minds of adventurers for centuries. Nature's most majestic creation, Everest, is not something one conquers; it is a destination that humbles and inspires. In this article, I will take you on a vivid journey, recounting my recent expedition to Everest Base Camp an experience that tested my physical limits, forged new friendships, and celebrated the transformative power of sobriety.
1 Preparations and Anticipation:
My decision to embark on this epic journey to Everest Base Camp stemmed from the desire to celebrate a significant milestone: five years of sobriety Together with six other alcohol-free friends from around the globe, we formed a party of fifteen and were supported by the fabulous trekking company Ian Taylor Trekking The excitement and anticipation leading up to the trip were amplified by the knowledge that we were celebrating the highlight of our alcohol-free lives.
2. The Start of a Momentous Adventure:
As we landed in Lukla, the gateway to the Khumbu region, a sense of exhilaration coursed through our veins. The journey began with a unique camaraderie, as our shared commitment to sobriety served as a strong foundation for the bond we would form along the trails. With each step, we were reminded of our collective journey towards personal growth and the conquering of inner demons.
3. The Everest Trail:
Navigating the Everest trekking route required physical strength, mental resilience, and unwavering determination qualities that mirrored our individual journeys towards sobriety Each day brought us closer to the iconic base camp, with its rocky paths, suspension bridges, and steep inclines testing our limits As we pushed through the physical challenges, the spectacular vistas of snow-capped peaks, such as Ama Dablam and Lhotse, served as constant reminders of the magnificence that surrounded us
4. The Sherpa People and Culture: Our encounters with the Sherpa people enriched our expedition, offering a deeper understanding of their culture and way of life. The Sherpas, renowned for their mountaineering expertise, became an inspiration for us, exemplifying resilience and a determined spirit. Our interactions with them underscored the importance of community and support in overcoming obstacles, both on the mountains and in our personal battles.
5. Acclimatisation and Everest Base Camp: Acclimatisation became a crucial aspect of our journey, allowing our bodies to adapt to the unfamiliar altitude. Rest days in enchanting villages such as Namche Bazaar and Dingboche provided us with opportunities to reflect on our recovery journeys and connect with fellow trekkers who had their own tales of triumph. Finally, we arrived at Everest Base Camp a poignant symbol of the accomplishments we had achieved in our individual quests for sobriety.
6 Reflections and Lessons:
Standing at Everest Base Camp, a flood of emotions overwhelmed us The triumph of reaching this hallowed ground was intertwined with the pride of celebrating five years of sobriety It was a moment of introspection, reminding us of the strength we had found within ourselves and the transformative power of embracing a life free from alcohol The journey had taught us
6. Reflections and Lessons:
Standing at Everest Base Camp, a flood of emotions overwhelmed us. The triumph of reaching this hallowed ground was intertwined with the pride of celebrating five years of sobriety. It was a moment of introspection, reminding us of the strength we had found within ourselves and the transformative power of embracing a life free from alcohol. The journey had taught us importance of perseverance, the value of connection and camaraderie, and the need to cherish and protect the fragile beauty of the natural world.
Conclusion:
My recent trip to Everest Base Camp was not just an adventure; it was a celebration of personal triumphs and the power of sobriety Alongside like-minded individuals, I experienced the physical and mental challenges that unfolded on the trails, while also immersing myself in the beauty and spirituality of the Himalayas This journey affirmed that sobriety is not just an absence of alcohol but a gateway to a life filled with meaning, purpose and connection
In the realm of alcohol recovery, the pursuit of serenity and peace is so essential. It's a journey that requires dedication, resilience, and the wise use of a variety of tools and practices. I want to shed light on one such tool that is often underestimated but holds tremendous power: the evening ritual Let's delve into its transformative capabilities and explore how lighting candles, reading, journaling, setting intentions for the next day, and crafting gratitude lists can all contribute to your personal growth and unwavering commitment to a sober life
Let's talk about the mesmerizing dance of candlelight As you light a candle during your evening ritual, you ignite not only the wick but also a symbolic representation of hope and illumination The gentle flickering of the flame becomes a source of solace, reminding you that even in the midst of darkness, there is always a glimmer of light to guide you forward It sets the tone for introspection and invites you to embrace a sense of peace and tranquillity
Next, we come to the power of reading Engaging any thoughtfully written materials during your evening ritual can serve as a profound source of comfort and wisdom Whether you choose a book that explores the depths of the human condition or a memoir that shares personal experiences, the act of reading can inspire you It allows you to immerse yourself in the story, reminding you that you are connected to a greater human experience
Another transformative practice to incorporate into your evening ritual is journaling This powerful tool invites you to pour your heart onto the pages, expressing your deepest thoughts and emotions Through the act of writing, you gain clarity, release pent-up feelings, and explore the inner workings of your mind It's an opportunity to reflect on your progress, acknowledge your achievements, and identify areas for growth By documenting your thoughts and experiences, you create a tangible record of your journey toward sobriety, allowing you to see just how far you've come on days when progress seems slow
Setting intentions for the next day is yet another transformative step in your evening ritual It allows you to embrace the power of intentionality, consciously directing your energy and focus toward positive goals and aspirations. By visualizing the kind of day you want to experience, you set the stage for success and alignment This practice empowers you to cultivate a sense of purpose and direction in your sober life, creating a strong foundation for personal growth and fulfillment
Crafting gratitude lists can have a profound impact on your well-being Taking a moment each evening to reflect on the blessings and abundance in your life fosters a sense of appreciation and contentment By acknowledging and expressing gratitude for the simple joys, the supportive relationships, and the progress you've made, you cultivate a positive mindset and attract more reasons to be grateful Gratitude becomes a powerful tool for shifting your perspective and nurturing a deep sense of fulfillment in your recovery journey
For so many of us who have experienced ‘bad nights’ from passing out, blacking out, and stumbling carelessly into bed, this ritual becomes all the more crucial ensuring that the end of each day and the path to bed are remembered, cherished, and celebrated The evening ritual is not just a routine to mark the end of the day; it is a sacred space you create to honour your sobriety and embrace the transformative power within you Each practice - from lighting candles to reading, journaling, setting intentions, and crafting gratitude lists - serves as a step towards serenity and a testament to your unwavering commitment to living a sober life So, I encourage you to unleash the full potential of your evening ritual, for it is a gateway to peace, a celebration of your progress, and a testament to your unyielding dedication to a life filled with joy and fulfillment
https://www.instagram.com/joineverbl
Sonia Kahlon
Something I always find fascinating with clients who come to me wanting to improve their health is that, although they’re determined to change how they eat and exercise, alcohol reduction often has never been considered.
Alcohol can affect our health in multiple ways, not least how our gut works And we’ve all heard about gut health, right? Buzz word it may be but it’s so vitally important for almost all aspects of our health, it deserves to be talked about often.
The gut is basically our digestive tract – a pathway from our mouth to rear, within which lies our gut microbiome, a diverse collection of fungi, viruses and mainly bacteria that are critical to our health and wellbeing Gut bugs are involved in so many important processes from digestive health, metabolism, body weight, immune regulation, as well as our brain functions and mood
And this is why we must do all we can to keep our gut health in check
The first point of contact between alcohol and the gut is the stomach lining. Frequent and heavy drinking can damage this delicate lining, leading to inflammation, irritation and symptoms such as stomach pain, nausea, gastritis or even ulcers
When alcohol reaches the small intestine, where it is absorbed into the bloodstream and where our gut bugs live, it can disrupt the balance of these bacteria, causing an imbalance, or dysbiosis. Dysbiosis has been linked to various issues such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), and leaky gut syndrome This is where the barrier that acts as a protective layer between the intestinal lining and the rest of the body weakens, allowing harmful substances like food waste and toxins to leak into the bloodstream Leaky gut can trigger an immune response and contribute to systemic inflammation, causing autoimmune diseases, liver disease, and even mental health disorders like depression and anxiety.
Alcohol can also kill off our ‘good’ gut bugs, create an environment where the ‘bad’ ones can thrive and prevent proper absorption of nutrients from our food.
Yes! Don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom – our gut does have the potential to heal
Here are the top 5 ways removing or reducing alcohol can help:
1. Your gut lining gets the opportunity to repair itself and inflammation is vastly reduced.
2. That dysbiosis we mentioned above, well this begins to correct itself. The gut microbiota gradually regains its diversity and balance, which can help the digestive system to function properly.
3. The gut barrier's integrity is restored, preventing leakage of toxins into the bloodstream, reducing inflammation and lowering the chance of autoimmune disease
4 You give your body a chance to absorb and properly use all the beautiful nutrients in food
5. The liver can begin to regenerate and repair itself. Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to liver damage and a healthy liver is crucial for proper digestion and detoxification. Improving liver function indirectly contributes to gut healing.
Of course, while the gut has the remarkable ability to heal, the extent of recovery may depend on individual factors, so it’s always advisable to seek out professional advice.
In short though, adopt a healthy lifestyle – reduce the drink, eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly and you can be sure you’re doing the very best for yourself and your gut!
Ingredients
- 1 cup unsweetened almond milk (or any non-dairy milk)
- 1 ripe banana
- 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt / plain kefir yoghurt (or dairy-free yogurt for a vegan option)
- 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
- 1/2 teaspoon grated ginger
- 1 tablespoon honey or maple syrup (optional, for sweetness)
- 1 tablespoon chia seeds
- 1/2 cup fresh or frozen pineapple chunks
- Handful of spinach or kale leaves
Instructions
1. Place all the ingredients in a blender.
2. Blend on high until smooth and creamy.
3. If the smoothie is too thick, add more almond milk or water to achieve your desired consistency.
4. Taste and adjust sweetness with honey, if desired.
5. Pour into a glass
Like all projects, We Love Lucid started out as nothing more than an idea; a mere suggestion, in fact, made by my half-Peruvian, half-Italian friend Miguel during a Workaway stint in Ronda, Spain Ronda with its electric blue skies, quaint architecture and striking mountain scenery has the capacity to inspire even the most uninspired of us. It came as no surprise to discover that Ernest Hemingway and Orson Welles created some of their best works there
“Why don’t you create travel experiences for people that don’t drink?”, said Miguel, eager to hear my response. Although I liked the concept, my first thought was, “How can I make this not seem lame?” At the time I had been
sober for two years having quit booze while living and working in South Korea. I ended up in Spain after an epic bucket list journey I’d taken from Korea to Europe, all funded with the money I’d saved from partying. At that time the huge online sober movement didn’t exist as it does today. I wondered if the world was ready for a sober travel company, and could I create a brand that conveyed the positive impact that sober travel had on my life.
As the weeks and months passed, my vision of alcoholfree group travel became clearer, and We Love Lucid started to take shape. I wanted to create a light and invigorating vibe; one where travellers could create new and positive experiences and could connect meaningfully with others on their wavelength.
Six months after my initial chat with Miguel, I moved to Ronda, got to work on the website and launched my first three trips in 2019
What surprised me about those first few trips was how quickly and deeply everyone bonded I soon realized that it was the connection to others with a similar lived experience that would make the trips such a life-changing experience. This was my motivation for persevering during the travel restrictions imposed during the Covid pandemic. I felt that I had uncovered something that could genuinely enrich people’s lives and I would try my utmost to see it through.
Fast forward to 2022, We Love Lucid has been featured in NY Times, all major UK newspaper publications, Nat Geo and CNN Travel. Apart from the obvious sense of achievement this brings me, what we’re witnessing here is sobriety hitting the mainstream, which is fantastic as far as I’m concerned.
The future is bright for sober travel as more people embrace sobriety and change their perspective about what it really means to live life to the fullest. As for me, I’m continuing to chase that which makes my heart sing. Now almost seven years sober, I’ve decided to write my sober story on Substack, something which I’ve felt compelled to do for eons. If you take anything from reading this article today, understand that no matter how flawed and broken you feel, not only is change possible but when you dare to dream big, small conversations become a reality.
Lauren currently lives in Edinburgh, UK with her two-year-old daughter where she juggles family life with writing and managing, We Love Lucid In her free time, she likes to drive fast cars and play her shamanic drum
You can follow her journey on https://welovelucidsubstackcom
For all info about We Love Lucid trips, head to https://wwwwelovelucidcom
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With over 150 alcohol-free legends aboard a boat, in the middle of the British summer, drinking cold 0% drinks, connecting with each other, listening to a live DJ all whilst taking in the well-known sights of London, the 2023 No booze cruise was the biggest and best one yet.
When I started this event 3 years ago, I never thought it would be something I did again let alone for a third time But every year the people that come along are different and the tone of the group changes
The first year the audience was the who’s who of the sober world, which really wasn’t that many people in 2021 The following year we managed to attract a larger audience and it included more people that were actively taking a break from the booze This year the boat was filled up of people that were at all different stages of their alcohol-free journey, whether they were on a break, living a mostly Dryy lifestyle or choosing to live a completely Dryy life.
When we launched the Dryy app in October last year we really wanted to make the space more inclusive. Seeing so many people on the boat gave me some good evidence that we are moving in the right direction which makes me incredibly proud.
Although the online world has been a blessing for the alcohol-free space with many communities forming across the world, there is no doubt that offline events such as the boat party remain an integral part of the process. This is why I will continue to put in the hard work for many years to come and continue to push the boundaries of what’s possible in the alcohol-free space
Since I first started properly drinking around 11 years ago, I thought that blackouts were completely normal and just one of the average side effects of drinking alcohol that everyone experiences, I was so wrong.
Not long ago I found out that no one I know had ever experienced a blackout, that’s when I realised that something can’t be right. I investigated what blackouts are and how they occur, and I was shocked and quite scared at what I read and couldn’t believe I had been doing this to myself for such a long time.
If there’s anyone reading this who isn’t exactly sure on what a blackout is, here’s a little explanation: Alcohol-related blackouts are gaps in a person's memory for events that occurred while they were intoxicated. These gaps happen when a person drinks enough alcohol at a fast pace to temporarily block the transfer of memories from short-term to long-term storage known as memory consolidation in a brain area called the hippocampus.
That sounds crazy, doesn’t it?!
Tasha Coleman Sober Sister Club Instagram - Sober Sister ClubA lot of people confuse “blacking out” with “passing out” Passing out is temporary loss of consciousness where a person can no longer physically or voluntarily act However, a blackout caused by alcohol involves losing your memory while you are still conscious; you could be moving around, speaking, engaging, and interacting with people, and seem ok to those around you
There are a couple of different types of blackouts, “grayouts” or “brownouts” Having a greyout or brownout means you may have some gaps in your memory, but you will also remember some parts of the event, whereas when you have a total blackout, you have no recollection of what has happened while you were drinking. This can last for hours or could even block out the memory of the whole event to make you feel like you weren’t even there, I would always suffer the total blackout!
At first, I thought that blackouts were down to the amount of alcohol I was consuming, when in fact it is a result of how quickly the alcohol is being consumed rather than how much For example, if I took 3 shots in a row, I would be more likely to experience a blackout than if I drank three alcoholic drinks over the course of a few hours. When I think back, I used to down drinks so quick, a lot quicker than the people I was with. I would always be the first to finish my drink and ready for another!
Blackouts can be so dangerous; anything could happen to you during a blackout, and you would have no memory of it You could attempt to drive, wander off alone, fall or badly injure yourself, have unsafe or non-consensual sex, or perform any other risky behaviours that can be harmful or potentially lifethreatening
I’ve had so many scares caused by blackouts, some life-threatening and some just completely irresponsible I’ve embarrassed myself multiple times around friends, family, and work colleagues and still to this day don’t remember the things I was told I did or said It gives me so much relief to know that I won’t ever do this to myself again It doesn’t make any sense to continue doing this to yourself, and there will be so many people out there who (like I used to) think this is normal If you relate to any of this and you are still a drinker, I really hope this will help you think about your relationship with alcohol On the other hand, if you no longer drink alcohol and you regularly experienced blackouts then I’m sure you will be able to relate to this in many ways and I’m so happy for you that you won’t have to go through that again.
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The Sober Book Club was really a desperate grab at remaining accountable to my sobriety. I got sober in lockdown and I was nearing my 6 month mark at the same time the pubs, bars and clubs were due to re-open after being forced shut the year prior. I hadn’t dealt with the triggers that late night drinking venues could cause, neither did I particularly want to think about what life would look like living on a busy nightlife street with the noise and chaos happening right outside my door. I needed something to ground me, a focus that would get me closer to my goal (my original plan was to do just one year of sobriety), something I would be proud of and take joy in away from the partying culture.
The Sober Book Club was born and in just over 2 years I’ve been running it now, it has bought me everything I asked for; community, happiness, pride, a dearth of knowledge and one heck of a library. As something that begun quite selfishly. I have really learnt not to be so selfish. I felt so alone in my sobriety journey at the beginning, I remember being proud of myself that I was embarking on this huge self discovery journey and then crying because I had no one to share it with
But through the Sober Book Club, my journey became so much more about me and my issues, my aloneness and my pride, it became about a whole group of different people with the same goal, brought together by their love of literature and hope for a better way of living. It wasn’t me creating a space for myself to share my story that aided my sobriety journey, it was the other people who joined me to share their stories that really cemented me in my belief that I was doing the right thing and on the right path
At the Sober Book Club we read a different sobriety themed book each month and meet on the last Sunday of the month at 5pm UK time via Zoom to catch up and discuss the book We try to read as many different genres in the Quit Lit umbrella; memoirs, self-help, psychology, non-fiction/fact based books Some of the books we have read so far include The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Grey, The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley, Drink? By David Nutt and Freedom From Our Addictions by Russell Brand All you have to do to join the book club is follow us on social media @sober book club and read along with us, although there’s no obligation to read the book if you want to join us at one of our meetings just to connect and be around fellow sober and sober-curious people, pop along and say hi!
Hi there! We're Michael and Gem, a couple who stumbled upon each other about a year ago when Michael was looking for a room to rent. As we chatted, we discovered that we were both sober. Michael didn't end up renting the room, but we did go out for coffee together, and we’ve been together ever since
Since then we've come to value each other's sobriety. It makes our lives a little bit easier. We've also talked to a lot of our friends who are either sober, sober-curious or more health-focused. It's these people that we want to be able to connect with each other.
That's how we came up with the idea for "Sob dating app for the sober, sober-curious, and community. Michael, a Software Engineer, has building the app in his spare time, while I've been handling everything else
We've asked our community about the challenges they face in dating, both in real life and online. We're using this feedback to shape and improve our app Our goal is to help connect people with similar values and aspirations for a healthy, alcohol-free lifestyle Allowing them to find a meaningful connection Then delete our app
Here is how we're building this to better protect your financial and mental health:
* Affordability: Sober is 100% free to use
* Fake profiles and catfishing: Our team manually vets every member to ensure a safe and secure experience for all users
* Superficial connections: Our matching algorithm limits the number of daily matches This provides users with quality, compatible suggestions
While we're initially launching in London, we're happy to have people sign up from anywhere
We're currently working on building the app and are aiming to launch it by July 1st, 2023 You can sign up for the app here: www sober-app co uk
We'd love to hear your feedback and ideas
As well as your personal experiences navigating the world of sober dating You can contact us on info@sober-app co uk Together, we're trying to build a great way for people in our community to connect
The Sobersphere is a vibrant space where people celebrate their alcohol free lives, and commiserate with and support one another
We see glowing faces beaming out their joy at shaking off the shackles of alcohol, 20 somethings, 30 somethings,40 somethings, er maybe some 50 somethings But wait! Where are the Boomers? Well I'll tell you; they're settling back with a double G&T, maybe a full bodied red because, why not? - they're comfortably off and enjoying their well earned retirement Imagine their bafflement when one of their peers announces
or more likely tentatively mentions
that they're taking a complete break from alcohol and may never drink again! Welcome to my world, people! I gave up drinking alcohol ( 2nd attempt) in August 2022 at the age of 62, after one hangover too many I woke up that sweltering August day and had the epiphany that life was – literally at my age – too short to waste feeling ill and remorseful. I didn't stop because I “had a problem”, but because I wanted something better. After 40 odd years of drinking and some great times, alcohol had nothing left to show me. It was time to let that old rascal go.
Reactions from friends and family ranged from incomprehension, to “ Oh I don't really drink that much” or vague “Yes I really must cut down sometime”, to downright resentment. Needless to say, nobody has joined me.
We are a generation whose parents tippled on Cinzano and Watneys Red Barrel( not normally in the same glass), who mostly started drinking in their teens ,who then experienced the Beaujolais Nouveau pretension of the 80s, the “sophistication” of wine with dinner every night, the Ladette 90s, the “flight of wine”, and the complete normalisation of any time, anywhere drinking. We didn't know any different; everyone drank and only a few unfortunates were “alcoholics”. We were hardcore devotees of the Drink.
As younger generations increasingly question the consumption of alcohol, my generation blithely cruises on as usual. It's a lonely place to be at times – the 60 something soberite. It's a subject to be avoided at dinner so as not to spoil the atmosphere. Yes I could drink moderately – I did that for several years, but there are always those nights where you overdo it, and the older you get, the longer it takes to recover. Really though, when you educate yourself about the nature of alcohol, why would you want to moderate such a substance ? Of course, my peers all know it's harming their health – how could they not? It's a conversation that is never aired because a life without alcohol is inconceivable until you try it. But what I'd like them to know is how liberating, empowering and positive it feels to take alcohol out of one's life, how we can relish our remaining – possibly – 30 years on earth –what an exciting experiment it is to see what life is like without it. I intend to live out my years in dignified stylish sobriety!
There are several summer time events that used to strike terror in my heart when I thought of ‘doing’ them sober - BBQs, pub gardens, music festivals and weddings to name a few There are loads of types of invitations we receive and perhaps send that we might now like to give a bit more thought to now we are either reconsidering our relationship with alcohol or are fully committed to a sober lifestyle.
It might be useful to really consider the invitations when they hit your inbox. Is this event, festival, activity something you do REALLY want to attend I know I used to always say “Yes” to every invitation because I suffered horribly from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) I would hate to see posts or messages after an event if I hadn’t been there myself and I would certainly use alcohol as a crutch to ‘help’ me at any event I where I was feeling overwhelmed.
Now I’m much more careful about what I agree to and if I have any sneaking doubt about potentially not enjoying something I consider saying “No thank you” at the earliest opportunity. It is always easier to say no in the first place than it is to try to get out of something later down the line I’ve reconsidered whether or not I actually love music festivals or not. I used to be ‘all in’ but now I accept that I am much more of a day visit person than an all weekender person.
I realise that music festivals are actually often ‘too people-y’ for me and alcohol used to be a tool I used to cope with all the noise, movement and activity around me I now don’t need to cope in that way because I understand myself better and realise I can take myself off to a quiet area and usually lie on the grass and have a snooze or look up at the sky for a break.
My first sober wedding was a steep learning curve I’d never realised before just how much I relied on alcohol as a comfort when I was expected to make loads of conversation with lots of people I didn’t know and stand around a lot without a focus. I hit upon a winning formula though. I gave the fizz a wide steer on the way in and headed to the bar to pick up a non alcoholic drink, I talked and joined in all through the day into the late afternoon and then I went and sat in my car in the car park for a break (even better if you are staying over –head to your room for a bit)!
I realise it sounds like I wasn’t enjoying myself but that isn’t true! I was having a lovely time I just needed a bit of a break. I listened to a podcast episode, faffed around on my phone for a bit and rang a friend for a quick chat. I then went back into the wedding to pick up where I left off. I’d told my husband what I was doing and no one had missed me
In choosing this fabulous sober/alcohol free life I have come to realise I have more introvert tendencies than I ever realised before Finding a way to socialise and embrace a bit of people free or quiet time has been key to enjoying music festivals and weddings Whatever lovely events are in your diary this summer plan ahead and plan for your success and enjoyment
www clarehoneyfield co uk
1. Destination happiness – the belief that “I’ll be happy when….” (Insert imaginary scenario with money, relationships, accomplishments) It’s all about living in the day and finding joy in the process. Recognise the magic in the ordinary.
2. “The blag” Get properly qualified and insured. Maintain a high standard of work. Focus on serving your clients and always give great value. Deliver more than people expect Be outstanding Be memorable In a good way
3 Over-working Remember to put your emotional and mental wellbeing first, treat work as work and take time off Schedule self-care activities into your diary
4 Not delegating Delegate “£10 tasks” – things you can pay someone else £10 an hour to do Choose people who share your values and vision Spend the time gained developing your brand to create more income Be disciplined with this time!
5 Trying to be everything to everyone “If you’re selling to everybody, you’re selling to nobody ” Get crystal clear on your ideal client and your niche
6 Being too nice People pleasing! This is such a big subject Basically, learn to listen to your gut, take a while to make your decisions, allow yourself time to reply to requests You do not have to respond to every email as it comes in It’s OK to wait and run your decisions past a mentor or a reliable friend
7. Being too hard on yourself Give yourself a break! You are not perfect, and remember, it’s all about progress not perfection. And progress IS happiness!!
8. Losing yourself It’s so easy to get obsessed with new projects. Spend time thinking about what else you love doing and make time for that. Block out time to spend with friends and doing activities that bring you joy Get early nights Rest
9 Neglecting your body That balance is hard to strike for sure, but having gone to all that effort to live a more wholesome life the last thing you want to do it spend it getting unfit! It’s about finding fun ways to move more and finding accountability buddies to exercise with
10 Isolating yourself “If you’re doing it alone, you’re doing it wrong ” Find mentors and coaches, follow inspiring and uplifting people on social media, join online groups and mastermind communities
Finally, learn about the importance of healthy habits and healthy thought patterns Make your bed Study and learn from those who have gone before
I was riddled with all the insecurities, self-doubt, disgust, and shame that were previously masked with alcohol and drugs, without anything to blur the edges. It's been an ongoing journey of deepening and softening into my sense of self.
Our bodies fluctuate throughout our lifetimes, so this isn't a once done process. But I'm committed for the long haul.
My past was full of addiction in all its forms Eating disorders, self-harm, sex, drugs, and alcohol I hated every aspect of myself, including my body Social conditioning tells us that if we are thin, we need curves If we are voluptuous, we need to lose weight We are bombarded with images and messages constantly that feed into our conscious and subconscious that we are 'not good enough' Is it any wonder we often strive for something externally to 'fix' us? Unrealistic expectations of perfection lead us to feeling less than Less than what? Someone's made up standard? Who decided what beauty is and why do we feel driven to pursue that which isn't our core values?
Throughout my adult life, I have been many shapes and sizes, from barely 6 stone to around 14 stone What I learnt through all of these weights was that a number never made me happy Believing once I achieved a size 8 or 10, I'd finally have an influx of self-love towards myself; I was sadly delusional Self-acceptance was always out of reach, but I'd grasp it, if only I lost a few pounds, got a thigh gap, lost the cellulite, got bigger boobs (insert your own brand of- what you need to be acceptable- here)
I began exercising for my mental health This shifted my perspective of a workout changing my body to alleviating my mind I become less obsessed about calories burned and more focused on endorphins released
I found activities that connected me to my body and took me out of my head I do pole fitness It's fun, and you can't be worrying about tomorrow if you're hanging upside down my one knee! It helped me celebrate what my body can do rather than what it looks like I learnt to be present in my body, something I'd been escaping for many years Cold water immersion also helped, kind of an enforced meditation - which, for this busy head, is sometimes needed! When was the last time you were truly 'in' your body? Our body holds so much wisdom, yet we often only tune in to our minds' messages What is your body trying to tell you?
I thought I could hate and punish myself into a better body Now I see the only way to start loving my body is to start loving my body I have caused my body to endure so much destruction, yet without any effort on my part, quietly functions and gradually heals itself It only asks me to offer it some gentle compassion
It's difficult to go from hatred to love, so begin with neutrality What parts of your body do you feel neutral about?
How many times have you looked back at photos from 5 years ago and thought you looked great, but now your X,Y,Z I've decided not to wait 5 years to realise I look good!
Once I began working on my spiritual condition, my body became of less importance
I don't love my body so much, it's all I think of I love it enough for it not to consume me anymore
Follow Lucy's journey here
Unfortunately, if we were to put my story into a categ genre, it would 100% be found in the horror section
It all started at school.
I was bullied over my weight at school and the kids w make fun and ridicule me all the time. I would often c home and cry over it, feeling like I looked disgusting a had something wrong with me.
Over the years it completely shot my confidence to p and at 15 I decided to starve myself and would also m myself sick after eating anything. I had an eating diso and went from overweight to scarily thin and always what I saw in the mirror This was also the age I disco alcohol.
I instantly connected with this poison, it felt like it numbed my self-doubt, gave me the confidence I lacked and made me feel how I wanted to feel when I was sober.
Then at age 18 at a party, I was given an ecstasy tablet and this is the pinnacle moment the cycle of self-medicating truly began.
Nothing has ever been about moderation and I would always go head-first into everything
What was an occasional weekend event for friends, turned into a daily occurrence for me. I’d buy these tablets in large amounts and throw them back like smarties, accompanied with an unhealthy amount of alcohol my partners in crime, hand in hand.
I started using both in my bedroom in the evening while my parents were downstairs watching television I’d lie there in a self-induced coma and it felt like they made my brain stop all of the negative thoughts shooting through my head, like lightning bolts in a thunderstorm.
I would go on in life to have an extremely busy social life, being out with friends as much as possible and lads holidays (I’ve been to Ibiza 5 times!), so I could make excuses to drink to excess and I would always take it too far
I’d go out in Birmingham every weekend and start drinking from Friday, get into all sorts of crazy, drunken situations and return home looking like a warmed-up corpse on a Sunday evening I had a serious problem and it was only getting worse. Alcohol had its claws in me big time!
At 21 I bought a new car, a Mini Cooper and after driving into town to have drinks, I got drunk and decided to drive my new, shiny car home. On the way back I remember thinking “these mini’s drove like go-karts”, right before going round a corner too fast (2 minutes from home) and I drove straight into a house
I remember bricks and blocks scattered everywhere, the car written off and smoke and dust clouds. It looked like a scene from a war film I was arrested for drink driving, spent the night in a cell and ended up with a ban from driving
The structural engineer reported that if I had driven just inches to the left, I would have gone into the house and killed myself and the entire family
A sobering life event, which to this day I am incredibly ashamed of and it should have kicked me into touch But I buried the shame and guilt deep inside and went to live in London and studied music at university.
I played bass at school and music was my passion and a world I could escape to
I went on to play for many different artists and bands in my 20’s and was lucky enough to play Glastonbury and other great gigs, including a tour and sessions with Radio 1 performing at some amazing venues.
But it was constant anxiety and self doubt which I would cover with drink after drink after drink. I’d always make sure I was drunk to perform, drunk to rehearse and drunk for social events etc
After thinking I was going to “make it” and become a famous musician, it just never happened So I moved on and ended up working for a top luxury fashion brand in central London. I was a manager at a store of nearly 200 employees and the stress was another level!
I worked hard and was even promoted pretty quickly but then the demons showed their ugly faces once the stress became too much.
I’d often down a 4 pack of strong lager on the tube, carry on drinking once home and be hungover for work the next day. This then escalated over time, to the point where I would even drink on my lunch break as a coping mechanism or before I even arrived at work events
It all finally came crashing down from a great height and I just couldn’t go on anymore.
I turned up drunk to work one day and I was a mess, everyone could tell and I walked straight out and into the nearest pub and broke down crying. I then spent 3 weeks drinking to blackout and isolating at home, not talking to anyone and hiding from the world.
I ended up going to live with my parents and was signed off work with anxiety and depression.
After deciding to leave London and start a fresh, I met a girl and we connected and became serious pretty quickly.
I moved in with her, started my own business which proved to be a success and hired a workshop where I could build my orders After taking on a huge project, the pressure got too much for me and I started secretly drinking and taking drugs, sneaking into the house at 3am and sleeping in the spare room. I would tell my other half I was working so late to keep on top of things.
NOTHINGHASEVERBEENABOUT MODERATIONANDIWOULDALWAYS GOHEAD-FIRSTINTOEVERYTHING
At my worst I would wake up, start drinking instantly to “feel better” and continue drinking and using drugs all day until the early hours and this went on for an entire 6 week period!
Unsurprisingly it all became immensely serious, affected my entire life and I had a serious breakdown I’m extremely lucky to still be alive after everything I put my body through.
The amounts of lies i would tell due to addiction were shocking.
I worked my way through my partners entire gin bar (she had one at her house) and told her it had evaporated due to the hot weather! I also went home drunk once and said that my therapist (who I was seeing about addiction) had told me to grab a bottle and go and celebrate my recovery! Madness
The final straw was when I was found drinking a bottle of wine in the morning and it was either rehab to sort myself out or my relationship was over for good
I went to The Priory, Roehampton on the inpatient addiction program and spent 30 days focusing on my mental health.
It all went very well and I thought i had solved my problems. I hadn’t. I was still in denial and was staying sober for all the wrong reasons, for everyone else but myself
I soon relapsed and in turn lost everything. My girlfriend, my beautiful boxer dog, the house, the car, the business etc.
I ended up living on my own and spiralled out of control into a hole of constant drinking and drug taking At my lowest point where I wanted to end it all, I had just attended a wedding of a family friend. I drank so much that I ended up taking my clothes off, getting into fights and told all of the guests to (insert swear word here!)
I had hit a new level of rock bottom and something had to happen
I had a panic attack after throwing up blood one night and that was when I had a moment of clarity. It felt like a sledge hammer to the head, I had to sort my life out or it was all over. I would most certainly die.
Exactly a year later from my first stay, I booked myself back into The Priory again as an inpatient on the general mental health program. I was no longer in denial and I was very aware of how serious my relationship with alcohol had become.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and Cyclothymia during my stay and finally it all started to click.
After delving deep during psychology sessions and putting in as much self care work as I could, I was finally understanding how my brain worked. It had been an awfully sad journey to get to this point but I was getting sober for me this time and I was going to do whatever it took to heal and ensure I never drank again.
From that day I’ve never looked back.
Since my sober date I’ve raised money for charities such as Mind and Cancer research (as my dad had it), found my sober tribe on Dryy (the sober platform), started a consistent 5am morning routine including meditation, journaling and mental health research Started hiking, climbing mountains and am currently training for a half marathon I’ve reconnected with loved ones and friends and gone out of my way to be present and there for them.
I have also lost 2 stone in weight but healthily since giving up alcohol, and finally feel the happiest I have ever been and like how I look in the mirror!!
I’m finally starting to forgive myself for acts that I saw as unforgivable and all the hurt and pain I’ve caused through alcohol and drug abuse
The one major lesson I’ve learnt, is that life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain!
I wish I hadn’t sat in such a deep hole of sadness, thinking alcohol was the answer when it just added flames to the fire. I’ve finally decided to be loud and proud about being sober and the best version of myself. From everything I’ve been through, I now just hope that sharing my stories will help others and ensure they don’t have to suffer alone.
Dropping the poison was the best thing I have ever done and this is just the beginning for me Its been 7 months and this is the start of the rest of my life
It’s never too late to turn things around and I’m finally realising you shouldn’t lose todays happiness by thinking about yesterday’s pain
The future is finally looking extremely bright.
Follow Luke's journey on Instagram - llukebayliss
As an award-winning nutritionist, I am often talking to my clients about the reasons to avoid or reduce alcohol
Too much alcohol puts a strain on digestion and the liver. It can interrupt sleep or cause hot flashes and skin reactions. This is a habit you can get away with in your twenties, but as you age you become more sensitive. Alcohol aggravates stress. You may feel that it relaxes you, but it really does the opposite. When alcohol enters your body, it’s dehydrating, and digestion stops Your body will focus on dealing with the alcohol levels in the blood before anything else It becomes the most important job for the body to deal with because it is so harmful to the brain, liver, and hormone production. So why keep drinking alcohol when it has an adverse effect on the gut, brain, and hormones? It contributes to weight gain, depression, anxiety, and anger You may think it is fun, relaxing, delicious, and the perfect way to end a stressful day The flipside is that it is addictive, hormone disrupting, and brain altering, especially during the perimenopausal years. It affects the liver and makes it difficult to deal with other toxins.
Rather than numbing your feelings or trying to escape the stress, think about why you feel stressed Instead of finding the quickest way to make your feelings go away, ask yourself, “What are these feelings and where did they come from?”
Make choices that nourish your spirit rather than numb your feelings and instantly block out your stress. Instead of alcohol, try daily, gentle exercise to boost your mood
Twenty minutes a day is life changing when you are stressed Walking is free! Laughter releases endorphins and relieves stress. Learn to laugh it off and reduce your cortisol levels at the same time. A good belly laugh can be as effective as a twenty-minute run. It will help you unwind and is also excellent for digestive health.
It affects the liver and makes it difficult to deal with other toxins;
It causes inflammation in the gut and in joints; It is dehydrating, especially for the brain;
It is empty calories and plays havoc with blood sugar;
It destroys your gut lining;
It causes anxiety and stress;
It lies to you and makes you think it helps you relax;
It causes liver conditions, such as fatty liver, hepatitis, and scarring of the liver;
It causes brain fog and impaired memory;
It disrupts sleep and wakens you in the middle of the night;
It makes you crave other foods that are not sustainable for your hormones, such as fatty foods, carbohydrates, and sugar;
It causes unusual skin rashes, unexplained joint pain, bloated belly, low libido, neck pain, head tension, sleepless nights, anxious feelings, night sweats, sugar cravings, thinning hair, dry skin, muscle tension, weight gain, slowed metabolism, mood changes, irregular periods, and tiredness;
It depletes other nutrients, especially B vitamins that are vital for hormone production.
Author Nourish Your Gut For A Positive Menopause
Trish Tucker-May award winning nutritionist and gut specialist helping women nourish menopause by healing the gut. Trish passionate about using vibrant foods and natural remedies to nourish and heal. Her vision is to educate, inspire, and support women and help them feel more confident, pain-free, and fantastic over forty She loves sharing her knowledge in workshops, retreats, and the Time to Nourish programmes
www.trishtuckermay.com
Award winning non-alcoholic drinks expert Emma Newman alcohol free drinks are a passion verging on an obsession. Emma loves shaking up mocktails that are refreshing, full of flavour and aroma and low in sugar. In this issue of The Sober Edit
Emma shares four of her favourite cocktail recipes for summer - alcohol free of course meaning you can enjoy as many of them as you like in the sunshine.
You’ll Need
50ml Clean T
100ml Double Dutch Grapefruit Soda (or grapefruit juice diluted with soda water)
15ml Lime Juice
Squirt of Agave Nectar
Pinches of Sea Salt and Chili Flakes
Ice
Grapefruit Wedge
Tumbler or Highball Glass
To Make
Combine sea salt with chili flakes
Run the lime around rim or side of glass
Place this part of the glass into the chili sea salt mixture
Shake together Clean T, agave nectar lime juice and ice (along with grapefruit if using soda water).
Pour over ice
Top with the Grapefruit Soda (or soda water)
Garnish with the wedge of grapefruit
50ml Coconut White Cane Spirit Myth
100ml Fever Tree Mexican Lime Soda
15ml Lime Juice
Mint Spear
Frozen Pineapple Juice Cubes
Maraschino Cherry, Pineapple wedge and fronds
Highball Glass
To Make
Muddle the mint in shaker
Add three cubes of frozen pineapple juice, lime juice & Coconut White Cane Spirit
Shake well until the outside of the shaker is cold.
Pour into glass over cubes of frozen pineapple juice
Top up with Mexican Lime Soda
Garnish with pineapple fronds, a pineapple wedge and a maraschino cherry
Emma is over seven years sober and documents her sober journey and shared drinks recipes on Instagram @emma sobersonic She is an award winning mixologist, No/Low Judge and alcohol free drinks writer. Emma curates a monthly alcohol free drinks subscription with the online retailer WiseBartender https://wisebartender.co.uk/miniature-sobersonic-monthly-spirit-subscription-2390-p.asp
You’ll Need
50ml Raspberry Alcohol Free Spirit - Whitley Neill
15ml Lemon Juice
25ml Aquafaba (or one egg white)
7.5ml Strawberry Syrup
2 x Strawberries (cut into pieces)
Coupette Glass
To Make
Chill your glass with an ice cube. Muddle the strawberry pieces in your shaker. Add the rest of the ingredients. Dry Shake for about 30 seconds. Add the ice and shake hard. Remove ice from glass. Strain into chilled glass. Garnish with fresh or freezedried berries.
You’ll Need
50ml Caribbean Spiced Spirit– Ish Spirits
I Passionfruit
15ml Lime Juice
7ml Sugar Syrup
Ice
Garnish Passionfruit Half Coupette Glass
To Make
Chill your glass with an ice cube. Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice.
