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The University of Saskatchewan’s main campus is situated on Treaty 6 Territory and the Homeland of the Métis.

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Dating for cheap in Saskatoon

Charlie Clark: A year in review

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | Jessica Klaassen-Wright

editor@thesheaf.com NEWS EDITOR

CULTURE EDITOR

Nykole King

Tanner Bayne

news@thesheaf.com

culture@thesheaf.com

SPORTS & HEALTH EDITOR

OPINIONS EDITOR

Emily Migchels

Jack Thompson

opinions@thesheaf.com

sportshealth@thesheaf.com

STAFF WRITER

Lyndsay Afseth staffwriter@thesheaf.com COPY EDITOR

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| Amanda Slinger

Students talk global sustainability at UN training seminar Student-led Campus Sustainability Week at the U of S encourages participants to become global citizens and combat global issues.

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| J.C. Balicanta Narag

photo@thesheaf.com GRAPHICS EDITOR

| Lesia Karalash

graphics@thesheaf.com WEB EDITOR

| Jeremy Britz

web@thesheaf.com OUTREACH DIRECTOR

| Victoria Becker

outreach@thesheaf.com AD & BUSINESS MANAGER

| Shantelle Hrytsak

ads@thesheaf.com COVER IMAGE

Laura Underwood BOARD OF DIRECTORS Kyra Mazer Brent Kobes Emily Klatt Hasith Andrahennadi Momo Tanaka Liam Richards

ADVERTISING (306) 966 8688 EDITORIAL (306) 966 8689

Mission // The mission of the Sheaf is to inform and entertain students by addressing those issues that are relevant to life on campus, in the city or in the province. The newspaper serves as a forum for discussion on a wide range of issues that concern students. Written for students, by students, it provides unique insight to university issues through a student perspective. The staff of editors, photographers and artists collaborate with volunteers as student journalists to create a product relevant to students on the University of Saskatchewan campus. Legal // The Sheaf, published weekly during the academic year and periodically from May through August, is an incorporated non-profit that is, in part, student-body funded by way of a direct levy paid by all partand full-time undergraduate students at the U of S. The remainder of the revenue is generated through advertising. The financial affairs are governed by a Board of Directors, most of whom are students. Membership in the Sheaf Publishing Society is open to all undergraduate students at the U of S, who are encouraged to contribute to the newspaper. Absolutely no experience is required! The opinions expressed in the Sheaf do not necessarily reflect those of the Sheaf Publishing Society Inc. The Sheaf reserves the right to refuse to accept or print any material deemed unfit for publication, as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. The Editor-in-Chief has the right to veto any submission deemed unfit for the Society newspaper. In determining this, the Editor-in-Chief will decide if the article or artwork would be of interest to a significant portion of the Society and benefit the welfare of Sheaf readers. The Sheaf will not publish any racist, sexist, homophobic or libellous material. Land Acknowledgement // The Sheaf acknowledges that our office is built on Treaty Six Territory and the traditional homeland of the Métis. We pay our respects to the First Nations and Métis ancestors of this place and affirm both the importance of our relationship with Indigenous peoples and students at the U of S and our commitment to recognize and remain accountable for our collective history.

Cover Illustration Photo Credits 2nd Ave Lofts - daryl_mitchell / Flickr Victoria Bridge - Robert Linsdell / Flickr Pelicans - bertknot / Flickr Fireworks Festival - Deb Macfadden / Flickr Field - Olivier Finlay Beaton / Flickr Riverbank - daryl_michell / Flickr Sturdy Stone - daryl_michell / Flickr Saskatoon Berries - Dean Shareski / Flickr Mural - Scott Woods-Fehr / Flickr Prairie Lily - Unknown Artist / Wikimedia Commons All images made available under a CC BY 2.0 license.

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The University of Saskatchewan’s annual Campus Sustainability Week is dedicated to showcasing the various environmentally friendly initiatives around campus, and this year, it includes the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals Youth Training seminar on Oct. 12. The U of S Students’ Union Sustainability Committee, USask Model United Nations and Office of Sustainability are working in cooperation with the Foundation for Environmental Stewardship to encourage students to contribute to international efforts in sustainability. The event will give students the chance to learn about the 17 UN Sustainable Development Goals, or SDGs, which aim to end poverty, protect the planet and ensure prosperous lives for all people within the next 15 years. Amy Lambert, a fourth-year student in international studies and vice-president finance of USask MUN, discusses how she, as an organizer, hopes this event will positively impact the students who attend it. “I am hoping that [the event] will make them more informed global citizens… There are students in many colleges and departments, who are interested in working in the fields of sustainability and development, who will benefit from meeting people who are already working in those fields and [from] learning more about what they may be doing in the future,” Lambert said, in an email to the Sheaf. The seminar will be led by UN officials and student leaders from around the country. The participants will receive a certificate from the FES upon completing the training seminar. The event is open to all, and its primary targets are post-secondary students, but high-school students are also welcome. The 17 SDGs have 169 targets, which the UN Member States unanimously adopted in 2015, with which they have committed to frame their agendas and political policies over the next 15 years. These goals call for action by all countries, whether they are low-, middle- or high-income, to ensure prosperous lives for their citizens while protecting the planet. Lambert discusses how these goals fit in at a more local level for students living in Saskatchewan. “Oftentimes, I think people view development as being something that needs to happen overseas and [that] is not relevant in our local communities, but there are people in

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our province and in our city who are living in poverty or who do not have access to clean water at all times. These are not issues that solely affect the rest of the world,” Lambert said. Sustainable development is a practice that balances the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs. The targets of the SDGs are built upon the idea that ending poverty must happen in conjunction with strategies that build economic growth and address a range of social needs while also tackling climate change and environmental protection. At this year’s Campus Sustainability Week, students will have the opportunity to engage with the UN goals and targets to develop a greater understanding of globally sustainable growth. The training seminar will be held on Oct. 12 from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. in the Education Building on campus. Tickets can be purchased for $25 online at Eventbrite. Lambert believes that being informed on and interested in the UN SDGs is part of being an engaged and responsible global citizen. “We are not the sole generation responsible for climate change, but we are the generation who is going to have to deal with its effects,” Lambert said. “The UN SDGs are trying to solve issues like climate change, poverty and lack of access to clean water and education that affect people across the world, as well as people right here in Canada.”

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Association of Graduate Employees / Supplied

Graduate-student employees move to make benefits agreement with university A newly-elected graduate-employee union is optimistic for the ratification of an agreement with the U of S. NYKOLE KING NEWS EDITOR

After months at the bargaining table, the Public Service Alliance of Canada Local 40004 chapter, formally known as the Association for Graduate Employees, hopes that the University of Saskatchewan Board of Governors will accept the collective agreement detailing employee benefits. The union represents all master’s and PhD students working as research assistants, student assistants or teaching assistants. On Oct. 3, the union held elections at their annual general meeting, which welcomed a new executive and officially ratified the collective agreement. Laura Larson, a sixth-year PhD student in history and newly-elected treasurer of the

PSAC Local 40004, discusses why she joined the bargaining team for talks in 2016 and then ran for election on the union’s executive. “My experience as a graduate student at the U of S has been very good, so part of why I got involved in my union was to make sure that everyone has as good of an experience as I did,” Larson said. “[The agreement] basically makes sure everyone’s on the same page when it comes to what graduate-student workers are supposed to be doing and how their hours, work and everything ... [is] going to be handled.” The agreement only stipulates the terms of employment for any work a U of S graduate student undertakes that does not contribute to their academic program, which ranges from leading laboratory sec-

tions to conducting research on their supervisor’s behalf. Seth Dueck, a fourth-year PhD student in physics and outgoing president of the PSAC Local 40004, explains that the U of S is one of the last universities of considerable size to establish an agreement for its graduate-student employees. According to Dueck, the agreement will bring the U of S closer to parity with other universities, because the proposal was loosely based on universities of comparable size, like the University of Victoria. Larson explains that the union’s goal this year is to make sure graduate students are aware of the employee benefits and services they are entitled to through their union. They have office hours on Wednesdays from 12 to 1 p.m., and they are located in Room 131 of MacLean Hall.

One specific aspect of the agreement was to raise the current rate of pay, which is $18.51, by $1.13 per hour and give a retroactive pay increase to any employee still currently completing their academic program of graduate studies. The increase would be 2 per cent per year since 2015, when the PSAC 40004 first became certified by the Saskatchewan Labour Relations Board. Before this tentative agreement was established, there was no standardized procedure for the terms of employment for graduate students, and departments at the U of S would instead handle employment issues however they saw fit. Various aspects of employment are specified in the agreement, from transparent hiring practices to vacation time. Dueck explains that health and dental benefits were

Letter to the editor student was sponsored in a previous term — by an organization, government agency or First Nation — we do take an extra step and check to see whether they’re sponsored again in the new term. Why? Because, if a student is sponsored, we won’t claim the federal portion for tuition. This portion of the tuition is already covered by the sponsoring organization. This way, the student receives the full federal portion as a lump-sum payment, meaning more money for books, rent, food and all the other costs of living. It does take a bit longer, yes, but our ultimate goal is to maximize the money that students receive. And, if the loan is delayed — for whatever reason — we can help. Financial aid is available for crisis moments, like delayed loans or big unexpected costs, and Student Central staff can walk students through what’s required to qualify for it. We’re here to serve students. That in-

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WiLLiaM rOBertsOn Launching

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Thursday, October 19, 7 PM

Response to “Canada Student Loans discriminates against Indigenous students,” published Sept. 28. Thank you for this piece, which revealed a potential disconnect between how we think we communicate about student loans and what students actually hear. I’m disappointed that we appear to have fallen short but am grateful for the opportunity to improve. For clarity, it’s important to know that Canada-Student-Loans-Program loans come to students in two parts, provincial and federal. Intended to help with living costs, the provincial portion is paid out in equal monthly instalments over the study period, and payments begin at the end of the first month. The federal portion is intended to help with tuition costs. We confirm the tuition owing, it’s paid from that federal portion directly to the university, and students receive any remainder as a single payment. A number of factors can trigger a loan delay, but Indigeneity isn’t one of them. If a

removed from the agreement during negotiations, yet he hopes they will be implemented in the future. The current agreement will expire at the end of August 2019, which is when another bargaining team will form to negotiate the next collective agreement. Larson believes it was important to ensure that the collective agreement thoroughly specifies the terms of employment for student workers, which is why the negotiation process has lasted for nine months. “It’s really important, because it lays out a basic set of rights for graduate students,” Larson said. “It also brings the wages for graduate-student workers up closer to parity with other graduate-student workers across the country, which is important.”

cludes talking with and learning from students. We want to do better, so we’re inviting the Indigenous Students’ Council to help us understand how we can best provide the information that students need. We’re looking forward to listening and learning and making our corner of our university a better place for all students. Wendy Klingenberg Associate Registrar (Bursar), Student Finance and Awards

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Live Music in Prairie ink restaurant & Bakery Friday & Saturday Nights, 8-10 PM

The Sheaf welcomes all feedback regarding the content we publish. Anyone can submit a letter to the editor using the online form at thesheaf.com/contact or by sending an email to editor@thesheaf.com. All letters must include a real name and email address. Letters are subject to our editorial policy and may be edited for length and clarity.

Friday, OctOBer 20

Wires & Wood

saturday, OctOBer 21

Michael siMon

Friday, OctOBer 27

The sTrange ValenTines saturday, OctOBer 28

TWo Tall dudes

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Agreement between city and U of S promises more collaboration SYDNEY BOULTON

Last month, the University of Saskatchewan and the City of Saskatoon agreed to a Memorandum of Understanding that will be a public commitment designed to formalize the already strong relationship between the two bodies. U of S Students’ Union President David D’Eon discusses Mayor Charlie Clark’s enthusiasm for working with the university, which prompted the MOU. “Charlie Clark has taken a proactive approach to working with the university; he has been meeting regularly with administrators and student leaders. The idea of the MOU arose to formalize the working relationship that has developed over the past year,” D’Eon said, in an email to the Sheaf. The university draws in about 17,000 undergraduate students each year and also owns about 18 per cent of the land within a five-kilometre radius of the city centre. Because the U of S plays a significant part in making up Saskatoon’s community, the two organizations agreed to publicly commit to collaborating in a variety of key areas. An agreement to go forward with the MOU, signed in September, was written by Jordan Sherbino, former USSU vice-president academic and current policy and communications advisor to Mayor Charlie Clark. Although the official MOU has not been presented yet, D’Eon has been assured that the USSU will have a strong voice in drafting the final agreement. “I will be there to ensure the MOU positively reflects a student perspective in the relationship,” D’Eon said. “It’s very difficult to say what will come of the agreement, as a draft hasn’t yet been presented, but what this could help us do is further develop and improve some of the services that the city already provides.” The agreement will focus on four key areas: land development, infrastructure, strategic priorities and academic partnerships. Land development is being treated as one of the more pressing aspects of the agreement, as the university is planning infill developments for much of the agriculturalresearch area within the city. Infrastructure will also be important, which has already been demonstrated by the city’s $4-million contribution towards the university’s new rink facility. A further area of interest to both parties is the tentative rapid-transit system, as U of S students represent a large portion of transit ridership. However, once the MOU is signed, students will not see the effects for some time, as both institutions will be developing plans for practical action over the coming year. D’Eon explains that he hopes the MOU will develop more opportunities and resources for students and foster more partnerships, overall. “What I would like to see come out of it is a dedication to student involvement, longer-term planning in areas of land development that benefit students and more efficient mechanisms for collaboration between the city and administration that can hopefully reduce barriers to further partnerships.”

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J.C. Balicanta Narag / Photo Editor Iskewuk E-wichiwitochik, meaning Women Walking Together, organized the vigil and march on Oct. 4.

Saskatoon community commemorates Sisters in Spirit Missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls were remembered with a vigil held at a new monument dedicated to victims. KAY-LYNNE COLLIER

Public concern about missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls has started to garner attention from the media and government. On Oct. 4, nation-wide vigils were held to honour those taken from loved ones too early. According to a 2014 Royal Canadian Mounted Police report, 164 missing Indigenous women and girls have been documented and 1,017 have been victims of homicide. Sisters in Spirit hopes to bring light to these issues and to assist in finding justice for the victims and peace for the victims’ families. A day prior to the vigil, the Indigenous Graduate Students’ Council held a poster-making session in the Gordon Oakes Red Bear Student Centre. Iloradanon Efimoff, a second-year master’s student in applied social psychology and cochair of the IGSC, discusses the importance of hosting the poster-making event, which had approximately 30 participants, an amount that the IGSC planned for. “It was a nice time for students to come together, to create a form of artwork for an important cause, meet other students and continue to build solidarity and community,” Efimoff said, in an email to the Sheaf. The Sisters in Spirit vigil was held in front of the Saskatoon Police Service building this year, where fewer people attended than previous years. Efimoff wonders if fewer people attended because the event took place at the SPS station, but she recognizes the importance of this location, as it fosters a relationship for reconciliation efforts. “It’s great to see police support at [an] event

like this, especially when there is positive interaction with people in the community. There have undoubtedly been, and still are, tensions between Indigenous folks and police all over the nation,” Efimoff said. The vigil was held at the monument honouring missing and murdered Indigenous women, created by Cree artist Lionel Peyachew, where there were prayers and songs. Afterwards, there was a march led by the Intertribal Drum Group and a meal to end the evening. The master of ceremonies, Linda Young, who also sits on the police Chief ’s Advisory Committee, explained that she has been personally affected by this issue, as her niece was murdered and her case still remains unsolved after 12 years. Young shared that her niece’s death and the deaths of many other Indigenous women and girls are important to acknowledge. “My niece’s death was a message to all of us to connect to our spiritual selves. And that is what I ask tonight, for all of you that are walking, is to keep in mind the families that have lost their loved ones,” Young said. Many people at the vigil responded with strong emotions and sadness to the stories that were shared during the vigil. Efimoff discusses the importance of having events like SIS to spread awareness about the inequality and racism that Indigenous women face within the context of the justice system. “The fact that these things can happen more than once is outrageous. The fact that they can happen thousands of times is pure negligence and disregard,” Efimoff said. “[It] is absolutely shameful. We must work together as an entire community to stop these things from happening.”


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SPORTS&HEALTH

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Huskies hockey kicks off the 2017-18 season Both Huskies hockey teams started off their seasons with a weekend of provincial rivalry. JACK THOMPSON

SPORTS & HEALTH EDITOR

Huskies hockey started off on Oct. 6 with both teams playing the University of Regina, the men’s team facing off against the Cougars in Regina and the women’s team taking to their home turf. The weekend was split with a win and a loss. The men’s team was victorious over their provincial rivals in a runaway game that ended with a score of 8-2. Scoring started just shy of 11 minutes into the first period and came at a rapid clip, with the Huskies putting three in the net before a minute was up. Going into the second, the Huskies didn’t let up, scoring another two before Regina answered with a goal on a powerplay.

Starting off the third with a four-point lead, the Huskies deepened that lead with another three goals before the final buzzer rang. Regina only came up with one more power-play goal before the game ended in a decisive Huskies victory. Many of the Huskies were active, as all eight of the their goals came from different players, and the team made more than double the amount of shots — 45 in total — than did their opponents. The women’s team was slightly less fortunate, however, dropping their game to the Cougars in a 3-2 defeat. After just a minute and a half of play, the Huskies had their first goal, courtesy of first-year Chloe Smith. Regina answered with a goal of their own a few minutes later, followed by another Regi-

na goal to secure the lead. While the Huskies managed to tie up the game early into the second period, a short-handed goal by the Cougars finished off the scoring and left the women’s team with a loss going into the season. Both team’s quickly had other games, as they exchanged venues to close out the weekend of provincial rivalry on Oct. 7. The women’s team travelled to Regina and faired better away from their home ice, while the men’s team defended their territory well in another landslide victory against the Cougars. The Huskies women’s team had two on the board before Regina answered in the second period. Saskatoon would then follow up with another

Be Well Day conference provides health resources to students U of S takes a step forward with mental health awareness at Be Well Day. LYNDSAY AFSETH STAFF WRITER

As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, the University of Saskatchewan hosted a conference called Be Well Day on Oct. 5. The day consisted of various speeches about mentaland physical-health issues, such as dealing with stress, and the strategies and resources available to students. This initiative was part of the Wellness Strategy at the U of S, which aims to take a holistic approach to creating an environment that supports well-rounded health for all students and staff at the university. There were four speeches in total, covering how to achieve a healthy life, healthy mind and healthy body. Allan Kehler, a mental-health professional and author, made the keynote speech and also spoke about stress and how it affects people’s personal and professional lives. There were representatives there to speak about achieving

a healthy mind from the Partnership Program, a publicawareness program developed by the Schizophrenia Society of Saskatchewan to bring awareness to mental illness. They had a series of people speak about their experiences with mental-health issues, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Stephanie Fusni and Justin Andrushko, two PhD students at the College of Kinesiology, spoke about the importance of staying active in order to have a healthy body. They outlined the negative outcomes of staying sedentary all day and ways to incorporate more activity into everyday life. Because of the university’s desire for a healthier population on campus, there is a growing need for awareness about health issues at the university. The Wellness Strategy recognizes this, which is why they organized Be Well Day to cover all areas of health. The Wellness Strategy began as a partnership between Human Resources and the Office of the Vice-Provost, Teaching and Learning, at the U of S. The pro-

gram was created in order to foster an environment of wellness in which the students and staff have the resources they need to help them optimize their health and well-being. A few of the goals of the Wellness Strategy are to improve morale, engagement and productivity through the bettering of all areas of health for everyone studying and working at the U of S. To achieve these goals, the program strives to increase awareness of healthy behaviours and lifestyles, and Be Well Day was an initiative designed to help with this. With the help of these speakers who came to the university, they hoped to spread awareness of physical and mental health issues that specifically affect university students and staff. Outside of Be Well Day, the U of S hosted a number of events throughout the week that addressed mainly mental health. Some of these events included mindfulness meditation sessions, a resource fair and speakers covering a number of

David Hartman The Huskies women’s hockey team at their first game of the season.

two goals, putting themselves in a solid 4-1 lead. The Cougars attempted to rally late in the third, with two goals in the last two and a half minutes, but fell short and lost the game 4-3 to the now 1-1 Huskies women’s team. Saturday was also a successful night for the men’s team, who took another victory from the U of R Cougars. Although scoring didn’t start until the second period, the Huskies dominated, scoring six goals while simultaneously holding off the Cougars, resulting in a 6-0 victory for the undefeated

men’s Huskies. Once again the men’s team showed versatility, as each of their six goals were scored by different players. With the women’s and men’s teams ending their season-opening weekends with records of 1-1 and 2-0, respectively, Huskies hockey is certainly alive and well this season. From here, the Huskies will continue their seasons on Oct. 13, with weekend games against the Lethbridge Pronghorns. However, the women’s team will be hitting the road, while the men’s team stays home to host Lethbridge.

different topics, including dealing with difficult emotions and understanding adult ADHD. If you missed these events, don’t worry. The U of S hosts a lot of events like these year-round, so you just have to check the Wellness Strategy website for the next dates. Initiatives like Be Well Day are important in order to break down the stigma surrounding mental illness and to foster a supportive environment where everyone has the resources they need to take care of their health. It would be benefi-

cial for the U of S to continue to spread awareness about areas of health that affect students and to provide resources for students to improve their well-being in all areas. Events such as this one are important to student wellness, because they bring awareness to resources that students otherwise wouldn’t know they have access to. You can go to the Wellness Strategy website at usask.ca/ wellness-strategy/ to find these resources, if you missed the events, or to find similar events in the future.

Jaymie Stachyruk

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Dog Watch: Patrick Pranger International student Patrick Pranger takes the Canadian Prairies by storm, achieving national recognition in men’s university soccer. JESSICA KLAASSEN-WRIGHT

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Huskie men’s soccer goalkeeper Patrick Pranger may be a newcomer to both Canada and university sports, but — with five shutouts to his name this season, the most recent against the top-ranking Alberta Golden Bears — he is certainly no stranger to the field. Pranger, second-year marketing major in Edwards School of Business, arrived in Saskatoon two months ago, travelling as an international exchange student from his home in Sankt Anna am Aigen, Austria. On Sep. 28, and then again on Oct. 1, Pranger secured clean sheets, including six saves against the MacEwan Griffins and four against the Golden Bears, two of which came in the last three minutes of the game. With these 10 saves, and an assist against the Griffins, Pranger led the men’s soccer team to an undefeated weekend. For these accomplishments, Pranger was named both U Sports Athlete of the Week and Canada West First Star. Pranger is enthusiastic about the recognition he has won, but he also feels that the Huskies men’s soccer team as a whole deserves congratulations. “It’s an honour for me,” Pranger said. “I came here two months ago, and [to] get all these awards — it’s a crazy feeling right now. It’s hard to describe… I think it’s not just an award for me. It’s an award for the whole team that is a result of the hard work we’ve put in there.” Although Pranger is now a skilled keeper, he explains that his beginnings in this position were circumstantial rather than a personal choice. “I started at six years [old] playing

football, and I loved to play on the field — I never liked playing as a goalie,” Pranger said. “And the coach told me at the age of eight or nine, I guess, ‘Yeah, Patrick, you’re the tallest, and you have to go into the net. We need a keeper.’ I said, ‘No, no, I’m not going. I don’t want to go.’ [He said], ‘You have to go, we need a keeper.’ And that was the reason why I started being keeper.” The men’s team came through the weekend with a 4-0 win against the Griffins and a 0-0 tie with the Golden Bears, pushing Saskatchewan to 7-4-1, second ranked in the Prairie division. Pranger recalls the MacEwan game, where he made a long goalie assist, explaining that the Huskies really came together as a team. “It was the first game, actually, that we started from the first minute to play confidently, high play, fast one-two touch football… I had a really good game. I was really [well] prepared for it,” Pranger said. “And in this case, I really have to say thanks … to my goalkeeper coach, Kent Kowalski. He’s — I’ve never had a coach like him. He prepares you for a game [perfectly] and gives you that amount of confidence you need.” Although soccer is his main athletic pursuit, Pranger is also an avid hiker — he travelled to Alaska and the Yukon for a trip before the term — and he fosters an interest in agriculture, helping his parents with their organic vegetable farm in Austria. To the Huskies’ benefit, Pranger has now fully embraced his role as goalie, enjoying the responsibility that comes with it. “I still love to play in the field, but I like to play as keeper as well, playing in the back and [having] everything under control,” Pranger said. “You see

Canadian Federation of University Women Saskatoon Inc

Mammoth Book Sale

October - 19 October 2117 - 23, 2014 9am to am 8pm- 8:00 everyday 9:00 pm German Cultural Centre (formerly Concordia Club) Cartwright Street and Lorne Ave. For more information contact Alverta @ 360-652-7708

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6 / SPORTS & HEALTH

the whole game in front of you… It’s a lot of pressure for a goalie, but I like this pressure. I actually need it. It keeps you in the game every time… I know I’m the last person. Behind me, there is nothing.”

Patrick Pranger and the Huskies men’s soccer team head west on Oct. 14 and 15 to meet the Calgary Dinos and the Mount Royal Cougars, their two final games in the Prairie division before the Canada West playoffs.

GetMyPhoto.ca / Supplied Patrick Pranger has been outstanding between the posts this season.

Water Polo INTENSE CHALLENGING REWARDING

For more information: email waterpolosaskatoon@gmail.com or find us on @ PiratesSWPC/


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CULTURE

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EVENTS

CULTURE

T H U R S

12

BELLE GAME WITH GUESTS @ AMIGOS, 10:00 P.M.

SUSTAINABLE SWAP MEET @ PLACE RIEL NORTH CONCOURSE, 10:00 A.M.

WHITEHORSE WITH TERRA LIGHTFOOT @ THE BROADWAY THEATRE, 8:00 P.M.

QUEER NIGHT @ USSU PRIDE CENTRE, 6:30 P.M.

F R I

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OKTOBERFEST @ GERMAN CULTURAL CENTRE, 7:00 P.M.

ROCOCODE WITH CASTLE RIVER AND 3 NINJASKS @ VANGELIS, 8:00 P.M.

THE SEAHAGS, THE STEVES AND FOAM LAKE @ AMIGOS, 10:00 P.M.

S A T

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HEY OCEAN! @ AMIGOS, 8:00 P.M.

HUSKIES VERSUS UBC THUNDERBIRDS @ GRIFFITHS STADIUM, 7:00 P.M.

THE U OF S JAZZ ENSEMBLE @ THE BASSMENT, 8:00 P.M.

Jaymie Stachyruk

S U N

Cutting costs: Affordable dating ideas for students on a budget

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COOKING WITH CHEF SIMON @ BRIGHTON INFORMATION CENTRE, 3:00 P.M.

YOUTH ACTIVIST CONFERENCE @ GRADUATE STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION COMMONS, 9:45 A.M.

Saskatoon offers many opportunities for saving your money while you date. LAUREN KLASSEN

When dating prospects for students are looking better than financial prospects, cutting corners can be difficult. However, affordable options are plentiful for those in the dating scene here in Saskatoon. The city has a vast selection of cafés for coffee dates, but more often than not, you can be spending anywhere from $15 to $20 for breakfast or lunch at a café. It’s difficult to know which café is the most affordable option while still providing a great experience. Located on 33rd Street West, Christie’s Mayfair Bakery — which celebrated 84 years of service this past year — is an affordable option for students. It’s a small café with an intimate setting that is perfect for getting to know each other, while you enjoy the smell of fresh bread in the morning. Christie’s offers low prices for high quality. The bakery has an assortment of baked goods ranging from $1.75 to $3.99 on the menu. You can get a freshly baked muffin for $1.99 or a freshly baked morning bun for $2.99. The drink menu ranges anywhere from cappuccinos to chai lattes, and the prices range from $2.00 to $4.50. On a budget, you can spend $5 for a drink and a baked good on your coffee date, rather than just $5 or higher for coffee alone at one of those pretentious shops. The array of baked goods, the fresh bread and the intimate environment make for a budget-friendly option with a unique classic-bakery experience for that special someone. D’Lish by Tish Café is another affordable place to eat breakfast, lunch or supper. The café offers

unique eats for those who want to shake things up, including three or more ever-changing daily soups. In addition to soup and sandwiches, they offer an affordable drink menu. Prices range from under $10 to $15. D’Lish is easily accessible to students, as it is within walking distance of the university — no transportation needed. The atmosphere is one like no other and will surely make for a memorable date. If you’re looking for a date featuring a little competition, Pokey’s Pinball Café is a pinball arcade, which is also located on 33rd Street West. This game-oriented establishment is extremely affordable — the pinball machines at Pokey’s take $1 per game. Pop a coin in the slot, and challenge your date to a game of pinball while having a drink. With prices like this, you can easily balance how many rounds you play with your weekly spending allowance. Have a beer with a side of nostalgia in this budget-friendly joint. King Me Boardgamery on 20th Street West is another affordable option for those who are looking to play a game on their date. Customers open a five-dollar tab that gives them access to whichever games they want for as long as they want. This is great for those on a specific budget, because you won’t have to overspend if you want to add another game to the table. On the date, gamers can try an old board game or a new one, all for the same price! Dating can become stressful when going out costs you more than what you can afford, but Saskatoon offers a lot in the way of affordable dating. With these options, you don’t have to stress about spending what little money you may have. Just relax and enjoy the company of your date.

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COMEDY NIGHT FEATURING FABIAN DRAY, BEN BAUCE, ARI AVIVI AND DARRYL KOSZMAN @ VANGELIS, 8:30 P.M.

VIDEO GAME MONDAY @ LOUIS’ PUB, 7:00 P.M.

FOREIGNER @ TCU PLACE, 7:30 P.M. TOONIE TUESDAY @ LOUIS’ PUB, 7:00 P.M.

PAWS YOUR STRESS @ HEALTH SCIENCE LIBRARY, 12:30 P.M.

SOUP & BANNOCK @ GORDON OAKES RED BEAR STUDENT CENTRE, 11:30 A.M.

WING WEDNESDAY @ LOUIS’ PUB, 5:00 P.M.

UNTIL OCT. 13

HERE AND THERE

OCT. 18-27

THE TABLETS BY DOUGLAS BENTHAM

@ GORDON SNELGROVE GALLERY

@ GORDON SNELGROVE GALLERY

OCT. 17-28

ARTWORK BY JONATHON BURNETT AND DAVE BAUML @ COLLECTOR’S CHOICE ART GALLERY

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FEATURE

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Beauty in diversity: Empowered women of Saskatoon Thousands of people gathered in D.C. in January to participate in the Women’s March on Washington, which continues to grow, changing people’s perspectives one by one.

PHILIPPINES

SOMALIA

JIHAN SHEIKH

KATIE SPARLING

CHINA

KATHLEEN CAY

J.C. BALICANTA NARAG PHOTO EDITOR

On Jan. 21, 2017, a march that began in the United States resonated throughout the world. The Women’s March on Washington became one of the largest inauguration demonstrations in history, triggering at least 600 more sister marches in countries worldwide, such as Nigeria, Saudi Arabia and Argentina. A solidarity march also occurred here in Saskatoon, beginning by the clock at City Hall. Hundreds of people came together to support the movement. Since then, the Women’s March continues to grow, and the impact that it created has

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ARRAH ALCOBILLA

been integral to how modern society now functions. This article is not only a representation of diversity in Saskatoon but also — in tribute to the Women’s March — an affirmation of the importance of women in our society. It is meant to showcase the acknowledgement of each other’s differences and to help us understand the inequalities that women around the globe still face today — places where women are condemned and shamed just for being women. When you look at the pictures of the women in this feature, imagine what could be accomplished if we all accepted our differences and the impact this acceptance could have on the world.


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LATIN AMERICA

MÓNICA WENG CHINA

MARÍA CELESTE NÚÑES

ESTEFANIA MEZA COLOMBIA

SCOTLAND

ECUADOR

INDIA

CHLOE RUNALLS

SWEETY VERMA

UKRAINE

ALEXIS IVANNA

SAM STINN*

EMMA WIST *Ethnic garments property of Yevshan Ukrainian Folk Ballet Ensemble

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CULTURE

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Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra / Supplied The Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra is made up of amateur and professional players alike.

Community orchestra brings music to Saskatoon The conductor of the Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra speaks about the organization and what they contribute to Saskatoon’s culture. LYNDSAY AFSETH STAFF WRITER

With so many musical groups and venues in Saskatoon, it is obvious that we have a strong musical culture. As a way to promote this musical culture,

the local philharmonic orchestra plays everything from the classics to popular music. The Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra was founded in January 1997, and in March of that year, George Charpentier became the conductor of the orchestra and has been so

since. On top of being a full orchestra — which means that it has string, wind and percussion instruments — the orchestra is a community-based non-profit organization, a distinction that Charpentier is proud of. “The main thing is that it’s a community orchestra, so

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it’s not a professional orchestra,” Charpentier said. “It’s an opportunity for people in the community who are interested in a quality orchestral experience, [as they] can come out and be a part of that.” Charpentier believes that playing music as part of a community is far more enjoyable than playing alone. “It’s one of those things where — if you’ve been a string player, and you like playing in a group, and you like playing in a situation that has a social aspect as well as a musical aspect to it — it’s a lot more fun than just playing by yourself,” Charpentier said. The orchestra is open to those with all levels of musical experience, and the music they play is chosen so that everyone can participate. They also make it a priority to play various different styles of music, including orchestral standards and contemporary compositions. “We choose literature that appeals to everyone in the group. It’s one of those things, where we need to find music to play that, ultimately, everyone will enjoy and is not too easy and not too hard, but still is a good representation of the best that orchestral literature has to offer,” Charpentier said. If you play a string, wind or percussion instrument and you are interested in participating in the orchestra, you can get in touch with them by email or phone, both of which are

on their website. Charpentier explains that they are currently looking for some bassoon and trombone players as well as first and second violins. “We want to encourage people to give us a try. We want people to know that we are open and we welcome new members all the time,” Charpentier said. “There are limits to the number of players we can have in the winds, but as far as the string sections go, those parts of the orchestra can be many sizes.” If you are interested in getting involved in the orchestra, don’t be scared if you don’t think you are ready. Charpentier emphasizes that playing in a group is a great way to sharpen your skills, and you will have a good time doing it. “I notice that people say to me, ‘I’d like to come, but I need to get back in shape.’ I always recommend that instead of practicing by themselves, they come to the orchestra, and at the end of the year, you’ll have pretty close to 100 hours on your instrument, and you don’t have to do it by yourself, so it’s a very good way of staying in shape,” Charpentier said. The next Saskatoon Philharmonic Orchestra performance is on Jan. 27 at the Robert Hinitt Castle Theatre in Aden Bowman Collegiate. Tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for students and are available from an orchestra member, at McNally Robinson or at the door.

#Sheafgram

usask

usask The weather might be starting to turn, but it’s bringing some spectacular #Usask scenery with it. Make sure to get outside and enjoy the colours of our campus. Photo Credits: @kelly_pankratz_photography

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CULTURE

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SASKATUNES:

s Ed

itor

A PLAYLIST FOR THE PARIS OF THE PRAIRIES

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Anura / Flickr

The Sheaf has your back with a list of some of Saskatoon’s best bars.

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Cheap suds, live music and pinball: A review of the Saskatoon bar scene

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There is no lack of options when it comes to finding a bar in Saskatoon.

TANNER BAYNE CULTURE EDITOR

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While Canada’s sonic focus tends to be on Toronto and Vancouver, Saskatoon definitely punches above its weight category when it comes to music. Here are some of the best Bridge City boogies for your listening pleasure.

It’s no secret that Saskatoon has a thriving bar scene, and while we all love Louis’ Pub, students should know there is more out there. Here are five off-campus bars that you should check out.

Vangelis’s small and intimate space and accompanying acoustics create an environment where live music can be experienced and reminisced on here in Saskatoon. Since it is nestled in the heart of the Broadway area, you can also use Vangelis as a meeting point or a final destination for your night out.

Amigos Cantina: Amigos is the quintessential watering hole in Saskatoon’s Broadway area. They’ve got a great selection of reasonably priced drinks and amazing scratch-made Mexican food all day. What’s more, they are family-friendly for most of their hours. Amigos is also one of the best bars in town to catch a concert, and it’s been a champion of Saskatoon-grown music acts, like Close Talker and the Garry’s. On top of this, Amigos offers great drink deals for events like their Thursday karaoke nights — so it’s guaranteed to be a good time!

Pokey’s Pinball Café: You’ll find this neighbourhood gem tucked into the middle of 33rd Street West. Pokey’s has a great mix of Cuban fare, cheap beer — an important theme for this list — and perhaps the greatest bar game of all time — pinball. Featuring eight pinball machines that are carefully curated and changed throughout the year, this place is a great way to spend a night out with friends — because who doesn’t like a little friendly competition? Though Pokey’s has been open for just under a year, it’s quickly growing to become a mainstay here in Saskatoon.

Flint: Flint has silently become a favourite mainstay for the many millennials of Saskatoon. Located in the centre of downtown Saskatoon, Flint has a classy Williamsburg feel that makes the place stand out from other lounges. However, Flint is perhaps known best for its excellent cocktail selection, featuring creations such as their delicious mason jar beverages, the classy new old-fashioned and the eclectic Moscow sour. Flint is also frequently home to some incredible art-house events, and a great karaoke night every Sunday. Between the drinks, the events and the nightly charcuterie plates, Flint is really the place you need to be.

The Yard and Flagon: Few would argue with me if I said that The Yard and Flagon has one of the best patios in Saskatoon. On top of having a great patio, the Yard offers some of the best pub food available in the Saskatoon bar scene, with items such as their scrumptious vegetarian burgers. The handmade fries alone warrant multiple trips to the bar. The Yard has a varied selection on tap and does a quality job rotating their draft selection between all the different producers of craft beer here in the province. Given the space, the food and the drinks, the Yard is definitely a bar to check out.

Vangelis Tavern: Vangelis’s collection of cheap beer — like tall cans of Pilsner for just $6 at live music shows — and their affordable slices of pizza can surely be the recipe for a good night out. Vangelis has also been at the forefront of live music tours here in Saskatoon for the past couple of years, with acts such as Weaves, Julie & the Wrong Guys and PONY gracing their stage over the last year.

It’s pretty clear that Saskatoon is home to a great number of watering holes. While this list certainly doesn’t exhaust all of Saskatoon’s bars, it will help you get started with your nights on the town — because sometimes, you just need to leave Louis’.

“All of the Things” by Cookin’ with Grandma

Did we miss one of your favourite bars? Let us know at thesheaf.com!

“ROBOTussin” by Owners

JORDAN STOVRA

sia

“Brothers” by Close Talker “Fallen Leaves” by the Deep Dark Woods “Burger Buoy” by the Garrys “Shakedown” by Bombargo “Just Breathe” by Parab Poet and the Hip Hop Hippies “A Lifeboat” by Kacy & Clayton “Firebreather” by Macklemore, feat. Reignwolf “Temporary” by Chunder Buffet “Goblin” by Waitress “Lawn” by Alive in Tuscon “I Heard They Ate a Guy” by Man Meat “Anti-Surf” by the Sips

“All the Time” by Shirley & the Pyramids

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OPINIONS

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OPINIONS

Are we living in a sustainable city? Saskatoon is no Emerald City, but we’re taking steps to be as green as we can be. SYDNEY BOULTON

In a world where going green is less of an option and more of a necessity, where does Saskatoon stand? While our leadership may be heading in the right direction, Saskatoon can barely be called a sustainable city. Sustainability is most often defined as the ability of a society to meet the needs of the present generation while not sacrificing the ability of future generations to meet their needs. Although environmental sustainability gets the most attention, there are three major pillars that make up sustainability — environment, economy and society. While there is no one way to measure sustainability, a commonly used and simple way to measure it is to calculate a region’s ecological footprint. This measures the total area that would be required to sustain the population of a region at their

current rate of resource consumption. According to the Global Footprint Network, “to live within the means of our planet’s resources, the world’s ecological footprint would have to equal the available biocapacity per person on our planet, which is currently 1.7 global hectares” — or GHA. The GFN also states that Canada’s ecological footprint per capita is about 8.8 GHA, the fifth highest in the world. Saskatoon’s ecological footprint per capita in 2014 was 7.4 GHA. In 2005, Vancouver’s was about 7.71 GHA, Calgary’s was 9.86 GHA, Winnipeg’s was 7.15 GHA, and Toronto’s was 7.36 GHA. In comparison to the rest of Canada, Saskatoon isn’t doing too bad. But when you take into consideration the impact of that number on a global scale, we are living far beyond our means. Comparing ecological footprints alone is not a completely accurate representation of sus-

tainability because it ignores the efforts of municipalities to increase their sustainability. Saskatoon’s municipal government has been taking many steps to foster sustainability in our city and is attempting to lead us in the right direction. Best practices for any city trying to encourage sustainability include creating a shared understanding of sustainability, integrating sustainability into long-term planning and policies, reporting on progress and communicating the need, vision, strategies and priorities for sustainability to its citizens. Sustainability in Saskatoon is already being incorporated into long-term planning and is being addressed in five of the 10 strategic areas of development for 2020. Saskatoon also has an Environmental Advisory Committee, which provides advice to City Council on policy matters relating to environment and sustainability.

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Saskatoon is also reporting on its progress by means of an Environmental Leadership Report. This report includes information on four main areas of development — land, air, water and waste. Other efforts of the city to try to increase sustainability are the development of a wetland policy, the use of integrated pest management in municipal parks, the support of community and allotment gardens, a new green-cart program for yard composting, and the support of alternative energy projects. But despite the efforts of the city, we are still falling farther and farther behind. Over 100,000 tonnes of CO2 were pumped into the atmosphere in Saskatoon in 2013. Greenhouse gases are one of the root causes of climate

change, and continuing to increase our use of fossil fuels is a large contributing factor in the production of greenhouse-gas emissions. Our landfill is also becoming dangerously full. The city has not been meeting their waste-diversion targets, and we could be looking for a new landfill soon, if we are not able to drastically decrease our waste production. Our transit system is fundamentally flawed, and biking is nearly impossible. Many of our communities lack accessible and affordable food. Many of our Indigenous youth are living in poverty or incarcerated, and all of these issues seem to be falling through the cracks. So, is Saskatoon sustainable? No. But we can be, and with support from our municipal government, we will be.

Michaela DeMong Individual action is the first step to fixing waste problems in Saskatoon.

Charlie Clark: A year in review It’s been nearly a year since Saskatoon elected its trendiest mayor, and it’s not hard to see that the change is positive.

Lesia Karalash / Graphics Editor

JORDAN STOVRA

Mayor Charlie Clark is right on track to completing his first year in office. It’s clear City Council is making attempts to bring Saskatoon into a new era, in which we might begin to think of ourselves as a big city rather than a Prairie town.

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In April, Saskatonians saw the first giant diversion from mayoral predecessor Don Atchison, when Charlie Clark was named grand marshal to the Saskatoon Pride Parade. Though it was a move that may not have been a surprise to those who have known Clark as a city councillor, finally having a mayor present at the Pride Pa-

rade was incredibly helpful in creating a positive view of the LGBTQ+ community event here in Saskatoon. The introduction of the provincial budget in March led Charlie Clark to openly call out former Premier Brad Wall. The funding cut from the provincial budget left the City of Saskatoon in a shortfall of nearly nine million dollars, and projects

like the Merlis Belsher Place at the University of Saskatchewan were questioned. Mayor Clark’s response was a rare move against the man who has been Saskatchewan’s favourite premier for quite some time — Clark’s council moved to pursue legal action against the provincial government. Many saw Clark’s stance as a sure sign of a new leader who is willing to buck a trend or two. Under Mayor Clark’s direction, the city has also begun to generate conversations that address the concepts of privilege and racism that exist in the greater community of Saskatoon. In a video posted to the Saskatoon StarPhoenix Facebook page, Clark says we have to work together to help the city’s most marginalized and those living in poverty. “[We have to] strategically invest and find, where are people falling through the cracks — where can you intervene in people’s circumstances?” Clark said, in the video. Statements like this show that Mayor Clark is making an effort to create a better Saskatoon by trying to shorten the gaps between the people within our city. Mayor Clark has made some big waves in Saskatoon, socially speaking, over the last 11 months. It will be interesting to see what more he will do to keep pushing our city into the 21st century.


OPINIONS

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How to make a city welcoming Although immigration is a federal and provincial responsibility, the City of Saskatoon must play a role in providing support services to newcomers. EMILY MIGCHELS OPINIONS EDITOR

Saskatoon does not rank high among its Canadian counterparts as a good landing place for international immigrants — but could we use our assets to make it better? In a recent review by MacLean’s, Saskatoon placed 25th out of the 100 Canadian cities best poised economically to support new Canadians. Criteria included diversity of the job market, unemployment rates and cost of living in each city. At the top of the list, unsurprisingly, ranked the utopian Ottawa, Ont. Our neighbour, Regina, clinched the third-place spot. Regina boasts a median

household income of $83,178 and an estimated unemployment rate of 5.7 per cent, while Saskatoon weighs in at $76,938 and 6.2 per cent. According to Statistics Canada, from 2007 to 2012, international immigration made up about 65 per cent of net migration to the Saskatoon census metropolitan area — this includes surrounding municipalities Warman, Martensville and Delisle. Just under 12,000 international newcomers settled in the Saskatoon region between 2010 and 2012. Civic diversity is important, as it makes it easier for new Canadians to forge connections within a community. Saskatoon — though small — should support cultural-development

initiatives. This could take the form of greater funding for cultural events and support for immigrant-run businesses. Other barriers facing newcomers include language, education and community attitudes. As of 2017, a reported 17.5 per cent of Saskatoon residents identify a language other than French or English as their first language. While that statistic might not solicit a review of our city’s own official languages, it is important to keep in mind as an individual and a community member. In fact, individual action is a solid base for overall improvement. Arguably, the most difficult challenges facing newcomers today are social ones. Acceptance, equality and safety are some simple things

Lesia Karalash / Graphics Editor

we should look to guarantee for newcomers. One way you can help is by volunteering locally. The Saskatoon Open Door Society is a non-profit organization that offers support to refugees and immigrants moving to the city. With settlement and family services, child care, opportunities

The Saskatoon transit system is failing its riders When issues in public transit are neglected, integral services are slowed or stalled.

Jessa Robb Public transit is essential for university students.

MEAGAN KERNAGHAN

Saskatoon Transit is failing to provide the essential service it has been tasked with. Absenteeism is rampant, routes and times are arbitrary, and the

transit union has not made significant changes to improve this broken system. Absenteeism within the transit union in Saskatoon has become so commonplace that the city even hired an outside contractor, Bridges Health, in 2016 to mediate the issue. Exposure

to viruses and contagious illnesses is named as a main cause for the absenteeism of Saskatoon Transit employees. Transit system employees, I would argue, really do not deal with any more exposure to people than those in other professions. Anyone working in customer service, retail, health care or ed-

for language training and connections to employers, SODS provides a well-rounded roster of services. In order to run successfully, SODS requires donations and support from community volunteers. If you are interested in offering time or aid, contact communityconnections@sods.sk.ca.

ucation — to name a few careers — is constantly interacting with the general public, with arguably more frequent physical interaction than simply sitting near them on a bus. This does bring up an important question. If buses are so full of illness that drivers are sick more than any other professionals, are they safe to ride regularly? Either buses are unsafe, or bus drivers are not always sick when they call in. Public transit needs to be a viable option. Many bus routes in Saskatoon don’t start until 5:30 a.m. and slow their service to once an hour at 7 p.m. At 12:30 a.m., buses stop running completely. At it’s best, a bus running once an hour is still only marginally better than no bus at all. Additionally, in a province where drinking and driving is a huge issue, would it not make sense to have accessible, late-night, public-transit routes to combat this problem? It is infuriating that, as an individual who relies on public transit, I cannot take the bus to and from school reliably because of overcrowded buses, buses that do not run on time and the fact that, after 7 p.m., the bus only runs once an hour. My aim with this article is to raise awareness of the issues within our public transit system as well as to encourage you to speak up when something goes wrong. I urge you to complain every time something goes wrong involving a city bus or bus worker. Leave the transit union a message at transit.saskatoon. ca/feedback. Call Charlie Clark’s office at 306-975-3202, and help him understand the scope of the problems within our transit system. Call your city councillor. Public transit is an essential service, so speak up and speak out. Nothing ever changes without your drive to make it so.

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Honeycomb cereal conspiracy leaked to the Sheaf MEMORIAL UNION BUILDING — An anonymous letter was found tucked under the door of the Sheaf office on Tuesday morning. Scrawled on a deconstructed Honeycomb cereal box, the letter, addressed vaguely to Post Consumer Brands Canada, included wild accusations of a recipe change to the popular hexagonal cereal. In this manifesto, the writer complains about the flavour of what they call “bizarro-world cardboardcombs” and demands that the original recipe be brought back. Though dismissed at first, the trials of paper production led the Sheaf to investigate the claims of the postally misguided individual, with the aim to support the anonymous cereal aficionado. Our findings were entirely unexpected: an entire online community — a collection of individuals across the globe who dedicate themselves to getting the old Honeycomb cereal back — with some members offering up their own ideas of why Post would have changed their recipe. While looking into the potential geopolitical motivations, power suddenly failed in the Sheaf office. Several Sheaf employees present at the time remember hearing shuffling in the dark moments before power was restored. When power returned, another mysterious

14 / DISTRACTIONS

message was discovered, written on the floor in Honeycomb cereal pieces: “AG BUILDING 30 MINUTES.” One Sheaf employee — who will remain unnamed for their safety — had taken to obsessively comparing types of Honeycombs and identified the pieces on the floor as original recipe. Intrigued, a handful of intrepid reporters took the plunge and went to the Agriculture Building to investigate. After several hours, Sheaf members who stayed behind began to worry about the impromptu exploration team. While on the cusp of pulling together a search party, a lone member of the group came back to the office, acting incredibly strange. Before sprinting out the door towards the nearest grocery store, the individual related a conspiracy surrounding the College of Agriculture and the changed Honeycomb recipe. “The Dark Lord of the Pit demanded modifications to the hexagons of honey as a punishment against humanity for the disappearance of bees!” the staff member yelled. This reporter has since been moved to other projects to recuperate their mental health. The Sheaf will continue to investigate the disappearance of two reporters lost on the expedition and to look into the findings of the anonymous cereal-box letter.

Lesia Karalash / Graphics Editor


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CAMPUS LENS

Quinnton Weiman

Kathlyn Zales

Lorenzo Apostol

XKCD.COM

AHREN KLAASSEN-WRIGHT

#albumoftheweek:

Harmony of Difference by Kamasi Washington Tanner Bayne

Prince of jazz Kamasi Washington returns to the sonic zeitgeist with his latest EP, Harmony of Difference. Following his aptly named, nearly three-hour-long album The Epic, Harmony of Difference is a breath of fresh air. Clocking in at 32 minutes, this extended-play record makes nouveau jazz easily accessible for the uninitiated. Lovers of and strangers to jazz alike should check out Washington’s “Perspective.”

We live in a world where memes have real-life consequences. The mythical meme mixture known as Mulan Szechuan sauce was re-released on Oct. 7. McDonald’s has kept it on hiatus since 1998. There was not enough to go around, making the Rick-and-Morty-hyped Szechuan sauce a commodity. People were outraged and filed lawsuits. In this meme, a young man spends all his money on the mythical meme sauce. Will he share it with friends? Will he bathe in it? Who knows. All we know is that Gordon Ramsay can’t locate the Szechuan sauce! This is a current, semi-viscous sauce meme. I give it 1½ Golden Arches

out of two.

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October 12, 2017  
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