Edition No. 9
September 2020
The Redcliffe Rave EDITOR RICHARD LANCASTER
OZZIE BOB on Cardboard Cut-outs and Remote controlled Pop ups!
A Note from the Editor Having not been in contact with our Home Affairs Reporter Barry Tuton since he received that chilling phone call purportedly from ASIO, it was gratifying to receive the following text message from him. `Thank you for emailing Edition 8 of the Redcliffe Rave to me. I noticed that news of the Redcliffe republic has gone strangely quiet since my departure- more’s the pity! I am no longer phased by that phone threat allegedly from ASIO, as I now believe it was a hoax phone call. And in that regard I must thank Jeff from Woody Point and Bernie from Clontarf for their reassurances. Needless to say I did not fly to Brazil and I strictly observed the Premier’s rule by not travelling outside the State’s borders. Boss, I look forward to coming back next week and acquainting myself with `the twins from Deception Bay` Sincerely Barry. CONTENTS A Covid Lament
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Arts Matter
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How Redcliffe nearly got...
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Denny’s Facts
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12+1 Commandments
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The Cycle of Life
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Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave
Only a few weeks back I read that they were gonna have Wuhan-FluProof cardboard cut-outs in the stadium seats at the footy. Yeah, well, that gave me a brain-rush! I thought - If you can have cardboard cutouts at the footy, why not go one better, like remotedactivated Muppets? And not just at the footy! Why not take ‘em to QPAC to see ‘My Fair Lady’ and active ‘em to clap, yell out “Rippa Rita!” or “You gotta be jokin” or “Bluddy Beauty, mate!” I gotta tell ya, I got all fired up making plans to launch the Remote
Activated Muppet Co, Pty, Ltd - no social distancing, no worries, and no sweat – ‘Perfect handbags for dining-out, a day at the races, or watching the kids at basketball.’ When I got to the blueprint stage I asked my mate Dodger what he thought. I said, “Whadda ya reckon, Dodge? I got plans for Remote Activated Muppet politicians, too.” Dodger just gave me a sly nudge, and kybotched that idea with four words: “Already been done, Bob.” Can’t ever win ‘em all, can ya?
From your Editors Chair Dogs have always played an important part in my life. In fact over my life time I have had the pleasure of having had the company of 14 of them, covering 4 different countries South Africa, Sri Lanka, India and Australia. They have been called `mans best friend` for thousands of years, having provided protection, companionship and hunting assistance since we humans first lived in caves. History tells us that this relationship evolved from when the ancestor of the dog the wolf, first scrounged for food scraps around human habitation and slowly a bond developed. As humans and wolves began to work together, we humans began to rely on our new four footed friends. Of recent times we have come to realise that the dog with its ultra- keen sense of smell, can achieve things that we humans cannot do. Dogs possess 300 million olfactory receptors in their noses, compared with a paltry 6 million in humans. Also part of the dog’s brain that is devoted to analysing smells is
proportionately 40 times greater than ours. So we realised that dogs could be used for tracking missing persons, tracing toxic substances, identifying drugs and explosives. They even could tell you what Covid 19 smells like… if they could talk. Now detector dogs are being trained to detect Covid 19, using sweat samples from people infected with the virus and the results have been spectacular… with a 100% accuracy. And the person doesn’t even have to show Covid 19 symptoms. In Australia detector dogs and in particular German Shepherds and Labradors are being trained to `sniff out`Covid19. And the virus is not able to transfer to the dogs. So our best friend, who has already proven to be able to `sniff out` cancers, Parkinsons, hypoglycaemia in diabetics and warn of oncoming epileptic fits, has now earned another string to their almighty bow! It’s no wonder that `dog` spelt backwards is `god`! Page 1
Dining out with our Fine Cuisine Editor Gina Naylor What is the perfect answer to the question ”Where will I meet you?” The answer is simple, The Coffee Club Café at the Redcliffe CBD, of course! This is the place `to meet friends, for good food, exceptional coffee and great service`….that’s their slogan and it’s absolutely true! For me, at least once a week, it’s a delicious breakfast, usually Eggs Benedict with Salmon, though they have so mastered this staple favourite that they serve it with some new favourite, on request. And then of course all of this plus superb coffee and million dollar views overlooking Moreton Bay! Although this has been a trying time for the restaurant/café trade, the Coffee Club has been as busy as ever, making superb meals for breakfast , lunch and dinner. Just this week, while preparing for this edition of the Redcliffe Rave, I lunched with a friend and we both indulged in the Asian Calamari Salad. It was superb with Lemon pepper Calamari, baby spinach, shredded cabbage, carrot, cucumber, mint, fried shallots and a gentle spicy Thai dressing. It was light, fresh and healthy with just the right touch of Asia, Just Wow!! We were both impressed and the Calamari was cooked to perfection. I had my dish served with a Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc whereas my friend had the red. Bon appetit.
A Covid 19 Lament I admit that the pressure of this terrible pandemic had got to me and I had been `knocking the grog back` a fair bit recently. Anyway my wife got cranky and put an ultimatum to me. “ You’ve got 12 bottles of whisky left and if you don’t get rid of them pronto, me and the kids are walking!” she said with a clear finality. So I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I unscrewed the top from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I unscrewed the top of the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then unscrewed the top of the third bottle and emptied the good old booze down the sink, except the glass, which I drank. I unscrewed the top from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I unscrewed the bottle from the top of the next and drank one sink out of it and poured the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the top down the bottle. I pulled the next top out of my throat, poured the sink down the bottle and drank the glass. Then I topped the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had emptied everything, I steadied the house with one hand and counted all the bottles , tops and glasses with the other, which added up to 29. To be sure I counted again when they came by and I now had 74. As the house came by again, I counted them again and finally I had all the houses, bottles, tops and glasses counted except one house and one bottle…. WHICH I DRANK!
Know your Redcliffe Quiz 1.When should Redcliffe celebrate its 200th birthday? 2.What was the name of the warship commissioned by the Queensland colonial government in 1884, as a defence against a perceived Russian invasion? 3.When was the Scarborough State School first opened? 4.What was the name of the indigenous clan that inhabited the Redcliffe district, before white settlement? 5. What rank did John Oxley hold when he first arrived in Redcliffe?
6. When was the first Redcliffe house officially connected to sewerage? 7.When was the first church erected in Redcliffe? 8. What was the name of Matthew Flinders vessel when he first visited Moreton Bay in 1799? 9.In 1802, Matthew Flinders revisited Moreton Bay. What was the name of his vessel on that occasion? 10.What was the name of the botanist and explorer who came to Redcliffe with Lt Miller on the Amity in 1824?
Editorials: Send all story ideas and articles to ricails@bigpond.com.au Advertising: For advertising rates, conditions and bookings please contact Steve on havahart1@optusnet.co.au Distribution: Everywhere online. Copyright and Disclaimer: No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. The content in this publication is for entertainment purposes only. The Redcliffe Rave and its editor, publishers, writers and agents assume no liability or responsibility for any inaccurate, delayed or incomplete information, nor for any actions taken in reliance thereon. The information contained about each individual, event or organisation has been agreed to by the individuals, event organisers or organisations without verification by us. The opinions expressed in each article is the opinion of the author and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Redcliffe Rave or its publishers. Therefore The Redcliffe Rave carries no responsibility for the opinions expressed therein. Indemnity: By advertising or submitting with The Redcliffe Rave, you agree to indemnify all participating contributors and supporting businesses such as graphic designers and printers against any claims.
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Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave
‘ARTSMATTER’
ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR … Janice Charlish presents Ellie Nielsen maybe 93-years young, she is a master printer, Artist and Author of children stories but time has only enriched her lively spirit and sense of humour…
Celebrating senior’s week is a time to reflect on what’s next on your bucket list…Not so for Ellie Neilsen she is 93 and unstoppable. Celebrating C
Presenting ‘Retired’
Exhibition
Did you know … • Ellie Neilsen Received Australia Day Award for 2020 - Arts and Culture Award in the Moreton Bay Regional Council area • She is not slowing down with 2 exhibitions this year 2020 and another booked September 2021. • Also chosen as one of 6 Queenslander stories to be published ….. The story ideas are those that challenge stereotypes of ageing. The story ideas where selected and made into short documentaries for the B.OLD 2020: be B.OLDer short film series. Stories about older people who are active and engaged in community • Currently she is tutoring a group of printers/artists in the old style method of print making … she wants to pass on this dying out skill to the next generation. • In 2021 Ellie Neilsen will be the featured on the MBAC podcasting series of art /skills that are dying out and Ellie’s print making is locked in. • Ellie was featured in the Moreton Life magazine last year, I could go on and on… _______________________________________________________________________________ MORE at the Redcliffe Entertainment Centre Tuesday, 25 Aug 2020-11:00 AM
featuring local artists ….Ellie Nielsen – Neen Burton - Maureen Van de Zalm Malcolm Cassidy - Margaret Barnett - Trudy Stephens… ‘We are 5 +1’… a group of 'retired' artists / printmakers, who have taken printmaking to the cutting edge. They work with great enjoyment and excitement about what they are doing; Finding out if there are boundaries and how to break through them!
‘We are 5 +1’ … explore and experiment to create a wide range of innovative art works. All local artists include ….Ellie Nielsen – Neen Burton - Maureen Van de Zalm - Malcolm Cassidy - Margaret Barnett - Trudy Stephens…
On Show Date: 1ST Sept to 27TH September, Stage Door Gallery Redcliffe Entertainment Centre, Downs Street, Opening hours Tuesday to Friday 9am to 4pm. Artwork can be purchased at the Box Office…with covid restrictions …‘ Meet the ARTISTS’ will not happen, stories about the artwork and printmakers will be placed prominently in the foyer of the Stage Door Gallery
The Sing-A-Long is back! Think Pub Choir meets an old fashioned sing along around the piano. Cost only $25 a ticket purchased Redcliffe Entertainment Centre (07) 3283 0407 info@redcliffeentertainmentcentre.com.au
Come and join Melly Melody for The Big Senior Sing Along as we sing 70 minutes of the best-known and loved sing-a-long classics from around the world. Come and belt, croon, warble, hum or whistle along to songs including Que Sera Sera , On Moonlight Bay, Blue Skies, Green Green Grass Of Home, Sweet Caroline, We'll Meet Again, Wouldn't It Be Loverly, You Are My Sunshine, Dancing Queen, Show Me The Way To Go Home, Stand By Me, Under The Boardwalk plus more sing-a-long greats _______________________________________________
Our Life Cycle is all wrong - Who do I speak to?
RUMOUR MILL • It’s now more than a rumour, but is an actual fact, Nick Tzimas’s Golden Ox Restaurant is about to morph into a tavern. With the wedding business taking a back seat due to Covid 19, Nick cleverly changed tack and came up with the new concept. The Rave wishes Nick and his staff every success in their new venture. • Despite property prices taking a tumble in Sydney and Melbourne and Brisbane only showing a small improvement, property prices on the Peninsula continue to climb. The reason, a shortage of stock. • Covid 19 must take the blame for delaying the entry of the Redcliffe Dolphins into the NRL. All the plans for a massive launch have had to be put on hold until it all gets back to normal again. Hopefully Season in 2021! Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave
by George Carlin. American Actor.
I think our life cycle is all backwards.
• There is a top tasting micro- brewery located in the heart of Clontarf with an unusual name. It’s called the Horny Wombat Brewery and apart from its quaint name, you can drop in and create and brew a beer of your own choice. Its located at 345, Macdonnell Rd. Clontarf. Phone 3284 9584.
We should die first, get that out of the way. Then you live in a retirement village. They kick you out because you are too young. You get a gold watch. You work 40 years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do the wild life, booze, sex and rock ‘n roll. You get ready for school. You become a kid, all play and no responsibilities. You then become a little baby and go back into the womb and spend nearly ten months floating…….and you finish off as an orgasm. Page 3
How Redcliffe nearly got the Brothers Gibb Performing Arts Academy by Richard Lancaster
In early 2008, a mate Ken Lord and I came up with the idea of creating a performing arts academy in Redcliffe, designed to encourage talented youngsters to learn performing and stage craft. We decided to call the academy, The Bee Gee’s Performing Arts Academy. I spoke with the then Mayor of the Redcliffe City Council who was enthusiastic about the idea. I asked whether we could lease the below ground section of the Redcliffe Entertainment Centre, initially on a peppercorn rental basis. He instructed me to submit a formal proposal to Council and he would ensure it received priority. I did so and submitted the proposal to Council.
Ken Lord
Meanwhile, understanding that we would need the Bee Gees authority to use their name, I submitted our academy plan to Lesley Gibb, the brothers’ sister, who I had met on previous occasions. She spoke with both Barry and Robin[ who was still alive] and reported that they were `over the moon` about the idea and would support it by coming to Redcliffe to open it.. However they insisted that the academy be named The Brothers Gibb Performing Arts Academy.
However the academy’s wheels were about to come off the track! By November 2008 I still had heard nothing from Council on my proposal and time was running out. This was despite my frequent phone calls to Council. In early December, Ken Lord a journalist with the Sunday Mail asked me how everything was progressing. I told him of my frustration and he said he would write a piece in the Mail. His piece entitled `Redcliffe refuses to entertain the Bee Gees` created shock waves around the world. Thousands of fans from around the world inundated the local media demanding that Council reverse their decision.
We registered the name, a website and formed a board of local business people. We appointed local high profile ambassadors including William McInnes, Rupert McCall, Shane Nicholson and Diane Cilento to assist with the event’s promotion. Politicians including Premier Anna Bligh lent their support to the project and it appeared to be well on track for a March 2009 launch, which was when Barry and Robin planned to be in Redcliffe.
A predictable hullabaloo broke loose. I spoke with Dick Ashby, the Bee Gees manager explaining what had happened. The media had a field day. Council was angry, claiming that my proposal had been lost, when Redcliffe Council amalgamated that year. But the writing was on the wall for The Brothers Gibb Performing Arts Academy. But 5 years later, in 2013, we got `Bee Gees Way `instead.
Some of Dr Denny’s Medical Facts • It takes your food just 7 seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. • One human hair can support 3 kilo’s. • The average mans penis is twice the length of his thumb. • A woman’s heart generally beats faster than a man’s. • Women blink twice as often as men. • If saliva cannot dissolve something in the mouth, then you cannot taste it. • There are about 1 trillion bacteria on each of your feet. • Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. • The average person’s skin weighs as much as their brain. • Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself, when you are standing still. Women would have finished reading this by now. Men would still be busy checking their thumbs.
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I didn’t Know that… • The daisy got its name from the words `days eye`. • The average wind speed on Jupiter is around 360kph. • Part of Alaska was the only part of the United States that was invaded by the Japanese during World War Two. • The average ostrich’s eye is the size of a tennis ball. • A Phagomaniac is someone who is mad about food. • Disneyland in the United States is bigger than the world’s 5 smallest countries. • It takes just one minute for blood to travel around the human body. • If you wanted to walk to the sun, it would take you 2000 years. • Blood makes up around 8% of the bodies weight. • M&M’s were originally developed so that American soldiers could eat sweets without getting their fingers sticky. Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave
So Sayeth the Philosopher… A Solution to Carona Virus When all around me is going crazy, Which leaves me feeling dazed and hazy, With Carona virus threatening all, And panicked people buying t rolls galore, I reach my home, wanting no more dialogue, But simply to find my Bertie, my darling dog, Who will give me peace, love and nary a blog! Oh, if only it were that simple, I hear you cry, Well it is dear friend and I tell no lie, For if there is no dog or cat in your life, And you want your life to be free from strife, Then down to the P. A. A. you should toddle, And pick yourself a mate to cuddle.
• When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife! Prince Phillip.
• Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ‘em right and you can walk all over them for 30 years. Betsy Salkind.
• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Emo Phillips.
• We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. Anon.
• The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. Spike Milligan.
• America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. Doug Hamwell.
• Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. Harrison Ford. • Kill a man and you’re a murderer. Kill a million and you’re a conqueror. Jean Rostand. • Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. Robin Hall.
• America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real. W H Auden. • If God intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. Jonathan Winters.
A Camera for your movie project by Our film reviewer Brian Lee Watson
Where to start you may well ask? I could write forever on this subject but let’s just cover the basics. You have to decide, what do you want to do with your movie, you are about to film. Will it be on the internet or a red carpet event at your local cinema? Do you have the budget to send the footage to a post- production house or will you edit your movie on your laptop? I am writing these series of movie making articles on the assumption that your budget is limited, so then you will have to buy or hire or borrow from a good friend. So if purchasing, a DSLR or mirrorless camera like a Panasonic G7 or Cannon 80D is the most cost effective. If your budget permits, a cinema camera like a 4 K Black magic or large sensor Cannon c100 that can shoot in low light and higher quality is preferable, which makes the footage easier to adjust and correct.
Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave
What about I phones? Great films can be shot and edited on these as an DJI Osmo pocket are great for flowing, action shots, like shooting 4k @ 60 fps. Don’t forget action cameras, but not for your main footage. Best to have a manual adjustment camera with interchangeable lenses, low f2 or f1.7 aperture settings for low light and shallow focus effects. Which gives you control over your exposure and white balance. Large sensors are better as they allow for shallow focus. And take note, full HD is only 2MP and ultra HD is only 8MP. At the end of the day if it’s not filmed correctly, sorry, an expensive camera can’t fix that.
INSIGHT: Did you know that the cat in `The Godfather` was a stray. And was handed to Marlon Brando before the shot. The cat loved Marlon so much, it stayed on his lap and purred so loudly, it nearly drowned out Marlon’s dialogue.
Take your time. Do your research, ask and search the net and choose wisely.
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The Cycle of Life by our Mobile Magician Barry Richards
Bicycles, what a great invention! I have never been without a bike from when I was knee high to a grasshopper. Mostly hand me down cheap crap but at my young age it did not matter. This segment will give some very interesting information in the issues to come but the best thing is that anyone can ride - slow, medium or fast and there is always a cup of coffee at the end ( try Preeces, Butcher Baker Coffee Maker, The Drowned Rat to name a few) Yep, we have all sorts of riders - even motor assisted bikes is an option. One of my club’s slogans is Recycled Runners, as many of us have running injuries which with riding becomes less strenuous on body joints. It’s funny when you first start off riding a bike, you go out in a pair shorts &a t -shirt. You look at those cyclists in Lycra and think how silly they look. But as time goes on, you’re the one in this group that stands out and you realise you will have to Lycra up. You begin with conservative, dark colours and eventually you go bright and bold with all sorts of colours and sponsor’s names on your outfit. You don’t have to join a riding club or a group, you can just simply get out and ride and enjoy the lovely area we live in. If anyone wants a good laugh about riding, google the push bike song by Mungo Jerry and the comedy skit by Paul Hogan in his early TV shows is a hoot I very much miss the Redcliffe Herald and it has been many a year since the Peninsula Post folded. But I would like to congratulate Shane Newcombe for taking a stand and making a bold bid in creating a new paper in the Redcliffe area. I fully support the Redcliffe Rave which is also filling a large humorous hole for readers. Watch this space for the next issue of the Cycle of Life.
A Doctor Denny Secret A little known fact that few are aware of is that the humble lemon, of all the marvellous citrus that we have , holds a wonderful secret. We all know about the value of citrus juice, including the lemon, and its abundance of Vitamin C. But the lemon’s peel is something again. Its peel contains as much as 5 times more vitamins as the juice and forget about orange juice, its not in the race. Lemon peel is also a body cleansing rejuvenator and kills cancer cells particularly 12 cancers including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreas. This was found by one of the world’s largest drug Page 6
manufacturers in a series of 20 laboratory tests in 1970. Now here comes the secret. How do I get to use lemon peel, I hear you say? Simple.. place your lemons in the freezer. Once the lemon is frozen, get your grater and shred the whole lemon. There is no need to peel it. After you have prepared your food sprinkle the lemon lightly on top of the food. You will not only be benefiting from the peel’s health giving properties, it will give your food an unexpectedly wonderful taste. And try it with your whisky as well.
ANSWERS to Know Your Redcliffe Quiz 1. 13th September 2024. On that day in 1824 Lt Miller, John Oxley and a party of soldiers first landed at Redcliffe Point to set up a Penal Colony. 2. HMQS Gayundah. 3. March 9th 1925. 4. The Ningi Ningi. 5. New South Wales colony’s Surveyor General. 6.On March 6th1959. The home of Mr and Mrs D Argus on the corner of Oxley Ave and Irene St. Redcliffe. 7.The Congregational Church in 1878. 8. The Norfolk. 9. The Investigator. 10. Allan Cunningham. Edition 9 - September 2020 - The Redcliffe Rave