The Rampage The Newspaper of the Ramaz Upper School
"All the (at least three-week old, uncontroversial, Kosher, vetted, celebratory of Ramaz, mis-quoted) news that’s fit to print."
New York • Volume 48 • Issue 6 • Purim 2017 • Adar 5777 • the-rampage.org
Ramaz YU Enrollment Surpasses MTA Students from Other Schools Finally Concede Ramaz Is Part of the Yeshiva League
Julia Levi '18
After participating in the Yeshiva University Model United Nations (YUNMUN), Ramaz students always come back to school with increased interest in applying to Yeshiva University for college. When students return from the mid-February conference each year, they come back to Ramaz feeling spiritually uplifted by the long conversations they have had with fellow yeshiva league students and the YU faculty and alumni. It is not only Model UN that makes students strongly want to attend YU, but also the sophomore trip to the Sepharim Sale that occurs every winter. Perhaps this event is where student interest in YU really begins, as it is essentially
the first college visit that Ramaz students experience. This year, more than ever, enrollment to YU has exceeded expectations, and Ramaz could not be more thrilled. In fact, it seems that they have so far exceeded MTA’s student enrollment. The seniors of the Class of 2017 have taken a special interest in YU, and out of the 94 students in the grade, already 28 have enrolled (which is more than the 23 so far at MTA). These students are mostly boys, but some girls as well are planning to go to Stern College for Women. “My interest in YU began last year at YUNMUN, and I visited a few times after that as well and decided to apContinued "YU Enrollment" page 2
Mr. Lupinacci Starts Circle-Drawing Club Natalie Kahn '19
Every Monday afternoon, to escape from the stress of tests and papers, a small number of students congregate in 604 with esteemed math teacher Mr. Michael Lupinacci to mull over their troubles in the cathartic exercise of circle drawing. Students attending are required to bring their own pencils and compasses, but paper is provided. Thirty intense minutes of drawing begin promptly at five o’clock. After drawing follow twenty minutes of peer review and circle workshopping. The last fifteen minutes feature a short lecture on the history and significance of circles. Mr. Lupinacci initiated the club at the start of this year with the help of two of his favorite former geometers Esti Beck ’19 and Naomi Levy ’19, who felt that circle drawing would enable them to utilize their artistic talents as well as reduce stress. “There is something so calming about moving your hand around the page to form something so perfect and round. However, circle drawing can be very difficult, so it requires a great deal of focus and practice, which is why the club is so beneficial for students,” says Levy. Mr. Lupinacci was, of course, immediately on board as faculty advisor. “There’s a lot you can tell about a person from how he or
she draws a circle, not only about artistic skills but also personality,” he says. “Besides, this is a very useful skill to have. Circles are geometric figures, and geometry is everywhere.” On a more philosophical level, Mr. Lupinacci remarks on his reasoning for backing the club, “It is great for kids’ esteem to be complimented on their circle drawing skills. I’ve never seen a bigger smile on someone’s face than after I tell them, ‘That’s a damn good circle.’” Although the membership began small, the club is proud to announce its growing appeal, particularly to students in the sophomore grade. Room 603 is in fact becoming a bit too small to hold all the new attendees, so the club is planning on opening the wall separating 603 and 604 in the spring. “We plan to also take students outside to Central Park when the weather turns warmer. It’s nice to go outside after a long school day to just admire nature for an hour to relax and chill, get a nice break from schoolwork,” says Harry Shams ’19, a staunch contributor fighting for a prestigious leadership position in the club next year. “The logic is simple,” says Beck, another talented circle drawer, “The better circles we draw, the better people we become.”
Mr. Lupinacci's mathematical formulas for drawing the best circle possible: Needs Work.
OR
Ehhh. Good!
Mixed dancing.
G.O. Corner
The G.O Actually Does Something. Jonah Sobel '17
For the first time in Ramaz’s 80-year history, the GO has actually done something. What was supposed to be an average, chocolate-milk-onthe-floor, donuts-with-unknown-filling, sweaty-rabbi-handholding, Adar Chagiga turned out to be a totally different, Tofutti-cutie-on-the-floor, unidentifiable-striped-candy, and rabbis-awkwardly-standing-in-the-corner Adar Chagiga. GO President #nan$lay said in an official statement, “yea things r def happenin and it’s gonna be mad lit.” Most students seemed to like the event, as there was a record-high 25% student participation, and according to Ms. Hordish, only 38 students had conflicting doctor appointments. But many weren’t so amused with this turn of events. After photos surfaced of girls and boys dancing within 200 yards of each other, Rabbi Stochel called for an investigation into the event. There has also been backlash from students, such as 2016 presidential-candidate and current SFAC Supreme Leader Gabriel Klapholz ’17, who remarked, “Even though some underclassmen say that they saw me whipping and Nae-naeing, I refute these preposterous and unfounded allegations. And on a side note, they didn’t even have prune-flavored hamantashen. Without a doubt, the least enjoyable chagiga I have attended.” GO Treasurer Dunkin Jonahts has been doing his job as expected, maintaining the GO’s status as a non-achieving puppet-government by living up to exactly none of his campaign promises and selling approximately three bagels to date (two cream cheese and a butter), with similarly mediocre performances by backup president Shelli Cohen and extra members Richie Hafif and that blonde one. Needless to say, all were greatly surprised that something happened, and the fact that it was a successful event only makes it all the more shocking.
Inside this issue...
Dr. Sclar and Ms. Barak Go to AIPAC... Rabbi Weiser couldn't make it. Upper East Side Heirs and Heiresses Horrified that Shabbaton Hotel Has Only Two Bars of WIFI... Senior Graduation Accidentally Scheduled on Tisha B'Av... The Dinner Dance fiasco all over again. Human Rights Club Calls Out "Whiteout" for Offensive Terminology... Feud ensues over PC culture. Crossword... Seriously, no joke. Enjoy!
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