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VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

CONTACT: theplantpaper@gmail.com

the plant Dawson College 3040 Sherbrooke Street West Westmount, QC, H3Z 1A4 Tel: (514) 931-8731 ext:1115 theplantpaper@gmail.com Copyright 2011

Editor-in-Chief Dahlia Belinsky Managing Editor Gabe Gilker News Editor Casandra De Masi International News Editor & CUP Liaison Nathalie Laflamme Arts & Culture Editor Carl Perks Features Editor Zac Starke Voices Editor Oliver Nacey Sports Editor Samantha Mileto Graphics Editor Shirel Revah Comics Editor Shirel Revah Head Copy Editor Erica Guth Web Editor Samantha Mileto Super Happy Crazy Fun Page Maricar-Kristine Montes Photo Editor Catherine Dumont

Public Relations Casandra De Masi Nathalie Laflamme Business Managers Oliver Nacey Distribution  Oliver Nacey Tech Support VACANT Copy Editors Karl Ussakowski, Stefanie Broos, Steph Ullman  

Staff Writers Chelsea Harrisson, Ema Kibirkstis,  Barbara Madimenos, Gina Tsotas,  Brenden Di Vittori, Camila MartinezLisle, Rebecca Perez, Steph Ullman, Robin Della Corte, Stefanie Broos, Adriana Toro, Alexandra Eschweiler, Karl Ussakowski, Tyler Russ-Hogg, Melissa Di Lena,  Abigail de Burgh Galway

Contributors

Delphine Lewis, Emily Beauchamp,  Victoria Eschweiler 

Follow us on the web at www.issuu.com/theplant

Letter from the Editor Quiz time Dawson! Are you: a) Ready to cry b) Currently crying and asking yourself if you can go through life without school? c) Not stressed at all because long ago you realized you weren't going to pass anyway d) Not stressed at all because you had time to study (LAME) Anyway, turns out midterms are right now. I kept wondering and I figured it out because I realized I have two tests on Hallowe'en and I just did two orals. This isn't really that much in terms of school work, but of course I've become a sad panda. Only last week I was talking about how I'm perfectly content in every realm of my life and of course, only a few days afterwards, I've become a container of angst. I put on the sad music, cried it out, and even made a playlist called 'angst angst angst.' How could I have jinxed it so terribly? Never say things are good or could be worse because they will become terrible. Without fail, problems you forgot you even had will resurface in your life. We could start talking about relationships Dawson, but let's not. I hate people and I hate emotions. Being a robotic person is way easier than letting people in. When you're fighting with a friend, you really like someone, or you're in a fantastic relationship, every song has a meaning and it just fills up your heart. I

don't want to be a Cyberman without emotions. (Doctor Who reference for the win). Maybe I should be a robot for Hallowe'en. I find hallowe'en a little overrated to be honest, just because as great as getting drunk in a costume is, nothing will beat trick-or-treating. Being taller than most, I was in the unlucky bunch that had to stop the moment we turned 13 years old. Also, I don't understand people who complain about girls who dress up as sluts for hallowe'en. They probably dress up as sluts when they go clubbing anyway! There is no different, so leave them alone, you can read all about sluts in our International

News Editor's column in Voices. So Dawson, if you're like me and you're stuck working and studying all weekend, or maybe you're lucky enough to go out and forget your weekend, but aren't sure what to do, check out our arts section's preview. If you're not feeling the drunk, slutty costume scene you can enjoy our inschool festivities that are previewed in News. Have a good week Dawson, be safe -Dahlia Belinsky Editor-in-Chief DahliaBelinsky@gmail.com Songs of the Week: "Sunburn" and "Screenager" - Muse

Editor of the Week Name: Erica Guth Program: Visual Arts Position: Kawpy Editah Who are you going to shank? This is too easy. Fucking balloon-wielding Kiwi. What are you dressing up as for Halloween? KITTEH CAT MEOW! I know, super original. Why is your hair so red? I feel it justifies my constant angry outbursts. How big is too big? That is a ridiculous question. NEVER too big. Whats up with you’re obsession with grammar? I was beat with a Bescherelle as a child. How do you feel about pandas? Well I’m sorry they’re sad… What’s that smell? Love and kitty cats. And strangely, vinegar. Describe your love for semi-colons: “Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.” –Kurt Vonnegut; couldn’t have said it better myself.


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3 EDITOR: Casandra De Masi CONTACT: casandrademasi@gmail.com

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Executives went through constitutional changes

ADRIANA TORO STAFF WRITER

In order to discuss constitutional changes with club members, such as the new student council and the possibility of

Photo credit: Casandra De Masi

joining a national student organization, the Dawson Student Union (DSU) held a general assembly (GA) last Thursday . The DSU executives have been tweaking the DSU constitution in order to make

it more relevant and helpful to students. For these reasons they added a student council. Leo Fugazza, Director of Internal Affairs and Advocacy of the DSU, explained

that the student council is a group of 1217 students, at least one from every program, whose purpose is to make sure the DSU executives are being fair and looking out for the students’ best interest. “At all times, [the student council] will maintain and uphold the objectives of the union, which is to say that they will work with the union and not against them,” Fugazza said. When the changes to the constitution were held to a vote, the students were unanimously in favor of the new constitution. The GA went on to talk about the possibility of joining a student organization. Representatives from both the Association pour une Solidarte Syndicale Etudiante (ASSE) and the Federation Etudiante Collegiale du Quebec (FECQ) showed up to plead their cases. Philippe Lapointe, the representative of ASSE, spoke of the association. He stated their positions on certain problems that students are presently facing such as tuition hikes and homophobia in schools. “By joining our national organization, you will be gaining much more resources to stand up for what you believe in and to be heard,” he said. The next speaker was Leo BureauBlouin, a representative of FECQ. He explained what the FECQ is, and how it can help create change by giving us a much bigger voice, since it is the biggest CEGEP student group in Quebec. Bureau- Blouin stated the current issues

for college students that they feel strongly about, and what they have done to try to create change. They have organized protests against homophobia in colleges, and they are working towards sustainable development for youth in Quebec. “[Also,] in light of the current tuition hikes we had some students camp out all summer infront of the ministry of education to show our objection,” Bureau-Blouin said. The students at the GA were asked, by a show of hands, to vote for ASSE, FECQ or to remain independent, in order to give the DSU a general consensus. The response for the FECQ was good, but students hesitated with the ASSE. Most voted to stay independent. Many students who spoke up at the GA expressed strong opinions about joining ASSE or FECQ. Adam Omassi, who ran for DSU treasurer last semester, was concerned with the expenses of joining an organization. “How much would Dawson have to pay per year to become part of [FECQ], and what would get cut from the budget if we do decide to join?” he said. Fugazza said that instead of cutting money from the budget, they would increase DSU fees for students by $2.50. At the conclusion of the GA, DSU Chair person Audrey Deveault said that if the executives see fit, they would consider holding a referendum in order to decide if Dawson should join one or both of the organizations.

Dawson steps up to the plate BARBARA MADIMENOS STAFF WRITER

North South Studies students at Dawson joined other organizations accross the city that are donating supplies to Occupy Montreal protesters camping out in Square Victoria and founded the Dawson Occupy Aid Committe on Oct. 17. The Dawson Occupy Aid Committee consists of a team of students from Dawson College that wish to help and support those protesting at Square-Victoria by supplying the people with what is needed, such as warm clothing, food, drinks, toiletries and other products. Their first shipment consisted of blankets and over a hundred scarves, all thanks to the help from the Teacher’s Union. “So far we have been able to bring in two shipments of supplies to the protesters and we aim to bring in more in the weeks to come. We will also try to make our shipments bigger and more significant to show that Dawson students are backing them up,” Simon Dansereau, a team member of The Dawson Occupy Aid

Committee said. Unfortunately, there is a lack of awareness amongst students about the committee, as well as the protest itself. “I had spoken to many students and had tried to get them on board but most had never even heard of the Occupy movement. We need to get students talking. The official endorsement of the protest by the DSU is a huge step in the right direction,” Dansereau said. “I’ve heard bits and pieces of the protest, but I haven’t really been paying attention,” Kathy Goudreau, a first semester Social Science student said. “But I’d love to help and donate if I knew more. I’m all about power to the people, yeah!” Laura Di Genova, a third semester literature student, as well as the Executive Assistant of the DSU said that at the last DSU meeting, a motion was passed stating that the DSU fully endorses the movement and that they too will offer “material assistance to any member wishing to partake in the movement.” Within the coming weeks, the committee plans on increasing awareness at Dawson College, as well as expanding their

supply runs with the help of students. “I'm very excited by the Occupy movement because it shows that there is finally

an acknowledgement that there is something wrong in the way our economic and political system is structured, and that a

Campers campin’ it out

the plant Worst week ever the plant the phrase times are rough can seriously apply the plant sadface the plant

real dialogue can occur on how to best reform it,” Dansereau said. “After all, this is history in the making.”

Photo credit: Emily Beauchamp


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Advocating Aboriginal rights

news

4 ABIGAIL DE BURGH GALWEY STAFF WRITER

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

“The thing to remember about borders is that they not only divide people but they also create people,” De Aguayo said.

Duckett and Choksi

Photo credit: Abigail de Burgh Galwey

Different perspectives concerning Canada’s relationship with its Aboriginal community were discussed by Dawson teachers Anna De Aguayo, Anjali Choksi and Michael Duckett as part of the Humanities and Public Life Conference held in the multi-purpose room on Monday, Oct. 24. Despite the efforts to improve Canada’s

relationship with its Aboriginal people, they are still subject to unfair treatment on the streets, in court and inside prison. Statistics from a prison in Saskatchewan showed that 85 percent were Native, many of which were given sentences disproportionate to their crimes. Disenfranchised, Aboriginal peoples were not allowed to vote until the 1960’s,

thereby denying them Canadian citizenship. They could not vote, could not serve on the jury, be a professional such as a lawyer or engineer, and could not run for public office. Dawson History teacher Michael Duckett spoke about the various constitutions Canada has concerning Aboriginal peoples, the most important one being in 1982. It accepted the harsh treatment that Native peoples had received in the past and recognized that they had been in Canada before anyone else, giving them right to self-governance. Native self-governance has been a challenge for the Supreme Court for some are afraid that it would mean that aboriginal peoples would not have to obey by the charter of rights of Canada. “Native peoples should have control over non-renewable resources such as their own system of education where the language and traditional practices of learning are taught,” Duckett said. “They should have the right to create and train their own police force according to the community’s needs if the force provided is not suitable,” he said. Humanities teacher De Aguayo raised the complex border issues involving territories of Aboriginal peoples that were built on borders. “The thing to remember about borders is that they not only divide people but they also create people,” De Aguayo said. “What I find interesting with Aboriginal America and border crossing is this double-standard that is tied into the American

side of the border and the Canadian side.” Those double-standards have made it difficult to have families, work and simply move around. Reserves, like Semiah-moo, are divided by borders and the people who work on either side of the borders see themselves as international workers. In the 1950’s, when the North-West passage started widening due impart to global warming, Canada claimed sovereignty in the North through Inuit occupation. The passage became increasingly important economically, and Canada was afraid to lose occupation of the territory to the United-States. The government therefore moved Inuit communities placed near Kuujjuaq without their consent 2,000 km north. For decades, the Canadian government denied sovereignty to be motivation for the occupation. “That’s an example of how Canada has used occupation of Aboriginal people for Canada’s interest,” Choksi, a Humanities teacher who worked as a lawyer for Aboriginal people, said. “We wanted to show we occupied the North, how best to do that than plunk Inuit people up in the North.” “I think more people should be aware about what our history is,” Olivia Sheehygennarelli, a North-South studies student who attended, said. “[We should know] where we come from and be aware of how we look at Native peoples today and be more informed.”

EDITOR: Casandra De Masi CONTACT: casandrademasi@gmail.com

NewsyNews Bear says: Swag it up this Halloween. Stay safe, bro.

the plant Mumford tomorrow the plant dancing to them banjos the plant panda panda panda the plant


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:21 PM Page 5

Just winging it The shorter skits consisted of “one word stories”, where the improv actors were only able to think one word in the future. The longer skit depicted the future as a greedy world, lacking in resources and filled with detached people that are very cold and emotionless. “When thinking about the future, we don’t really know what’s going to happen, just like in improv acting,” actor Mark said. All three actors, Mark, Anton and Brent, performed on behalf of SPACE, a Dawson project that elaborates on differ-

ent themes every year. This year’s theme, being “the future”, the actors were inspired by an article that they read on the SPACE website magazine. “Our skit was mostly inspired by an article we read on the SPACE website, Dystopian Fiction Heats Up,” Anton said. SPACE’s goal is to expand on academic knowledge through different disciplines and to link different ideas that are not necessarily talked about in classrooms. Everyone is in different programs and issues are looked at differently, but in SPACE the students explore all areas of one subject.

It’s an extracurricular project that encourages students to share their ideas and write about them in the web magazine on the SPACE website, which launched last month. “It’s kind of like an underground project. It only started three years ago by Joel Trudeau and is definitely starting to flourish with live events like this,” Katz said. For more information about SPACE, check out the website http://space.dawsoncollege.qc.ca about SPACE, and their facebook group.

“It’s kind of like an underground project. It only started three years ago by Joel Trudeau and is definitely starting to flourish with live events like this,” Andrew Katz said.

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

Actors enteratined the crowd

GINA TSOTAS STAFF WRITER

news

Montreal Improv took to the stage in room 5B.16 to put on their show about exploring the future as part of a SPACE event Tuesday, Oct. 25. The room grew quiet as the actors performed a couple of short improvisation skits and one longer one, helping inspire conversation between students about our future world. Their goal was to portray SPACE’s theme this year, “the future”, in a way that we might view it and show how it can affect the whole world and influence our emotions.

5

Photo credit: Gina Tsotas

Documenting crime

Dawson’s Humanities and Public Life Conference came to a close yesterday with several Keynote addresses including “Tracking Down the Bad Guys”, which included an inside look at Montreal’s Irish Mafia. With the help of his daughter Miranda O’Connor and John Westlake, a private investigator in Montreal, D’Arcy O’Connor, a teacher at Dawson College wrote the book Montreal's Irish Mafia: The True Story of the Infamous West End Gang which was first published in April 2011 and is now in its second printing. “The book is selling really well,” Mr. O’Connor said. “Not just in Montreal, it’s selling well in Boston because there are a lot of Irish connected gangs there, as well as Ireland and England and so the publishers are very happy.” Mr. O’Connor first heard about the

West End Gang, Montreal’s Irish Mafia, during his first teaching job. He was hired by Dawson to teach in a program called the Leclerc prison program. This program allowed prisoners the opportunity to attend classes twice a week and earn their College Education Diploma (DEC) while serving out their sentence. “I was a Creative Writing teacher for the program,” Mr. O’Connor said. “One of the first things a Creative Writing teacher will tell their students is to write what they know. I was getting these essays and film scripts from the students and they were writing about really wild things like tunneling into banks, making daring getaways and I thought it was fiction until I realized by talking to them that they were writing about what they do.” The book took two and a half years to complete, with the help of Miranda

court, that those who were arrested would sometimes walk free because of technicalities. Some of those days would be difficult, but then one must simply accept it, wake up the next day and take on a new challenge. In terms of the dangers of the job, when dealing with highly sensitive cases involving “organized crime”, which consist of potential for great monetary gain, the dangers placed on those in the field can be great, as well as anyone involved. An unknown package was found under Westlake’s car one day, and everyone is his immediate family received bodyguard protection for several weeks afterwards. While writing the book, although Mr. O’Connor didn’t go into any specific detail, “[he] received an anonymous call about something that was rumored I was putting into the book, and threats were made,” Mr. O’Connor said. “I wasn’t planning on putting that specific information in the book anyways, so I didn’t worry about the threat.” “I thought it was a really informative an interesting speech,” Raeanne Stafford, a third semester Community Recreation and Leadership Training student said. “I think Dawson can really benefit from this book, whether they buy it or not is up to them.” The auditorium on the fifth floor was completely filled with students, and the speakers were all well received. “There were lots of interesting questions and quite a big crowd,” Mr. O’Connor said. “I think the students enjoyed it,” Westlake said. “They were a little quiet in the beginning, but then everyone began to loosen up. Students just need to ask more questions about these types of issues, they really just need to know.”

the plant coldplay’s album is amazing the plant I feel like I am floating the plant I’m a fairy princess btw the plant

don’t judge

STEFANIE BROOS STAFF WRITER

They were a little quiet in the beginning, but then everyone began to loosen up. Students just need to ask more questions about these types of issues, they really just need to know,” John Westlake

EDITOR: Casandra De Masi CONTACT: casandrademasi@gmail.com

Photo credit: Catherine Dumont

D’Arcy O’Conner

O’Connor who also happens to be Dawson alumni and the chief researcher for the project. “During the research, it was really frustrating when I knew there should be a gold mine of court records and coroner reports on somebody really important in this whole story and then I would go to the archives, and be running around for weeks trying to find something,” Ms. O’Connor said. “In the end, I would realize that these documents must have been stolen, and so it would be frustrating,” Ms. O’Connor said. John Westlake, a Private Investigator who has had first hand experience with the different Montreal Mafias, namely the West End Gang, took over the speech. Westlake began with a brief history of how he became involved with his chosen career. “It was a decision I made when I was home on leave from the Marine Corps and a friend of mine suggested I join the Montreal Police Force after I finish my service with the Marines,” Westlake said. “The pay was good and so I figured why not, I’ll give it a shot.” After the basics were covered, Westlake went straight into a non-formal question and answer period about his work, and his opinions on various criminal subjects in Montreal. “I have arrested many young people who are younger or a little bit older than all of you,” Westlake said. “Many times instead of putting them in jail I would try and have them go into a rehabilitation centre for people who were addicted to narcotics such as heroin.” Being involved with this type of career, Westlake conveyed that there were some times after working many days straight in the field on drug operations and then in


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:21 PM Page 6

Eyes on the DSU

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

news

6 REBECCA PEREZ STAFF WRITER

The Dawson Student Union (DSU) executive council met for their weekly meeting on Tuesday Oct. 18 to discuss student issues including Occupy Montreal, the referendum for a raise in the DSU fee, The Protocol Agreement, and the possibility of a student strike. Chairperson Audrey Deveault led the discussion with roll call of attendance, leading to their main point that the DSU send a solidarity letter to the Brandon University Faculty Association. The University is going on strike and therefore requesting a letter from the Union. Moving on to the next motion, the DSU officially endorsed the Occupy Montreal & Decolonize Montreal movement and will offer material assistance to any member wishing to partake in the movement. "If any student wants to use the mate-

rial to go down there and spend some time we should just help them out," Director of Communications & Mobilization Mia Pearson said. The meeting continued with the discussion of a referendum to raise the DSU Fee for full time students by a $6 increase. The DSU will hold a Referendum on Nov. 14 and 15 to vote on whether or not to raise The Dawson Student Union fee for full-time Students by $ 6, from $ 19 to $ 25, in order to fund important Services and initiatives such as the creation of an emergency food bank for students in need, increasing free "Dawson Dinin" vegetarian lunches, and the development of a student-run cafe. This fee will be charged to all full-time students beginning as of the winter term. The next motion was to appoint the Executive Assistant of the DSU, Laura Di

Genova. "Laura is fantastic and she has been working for every single campaign that we've done and she's been a super great asset and I think having her as the executive assistant would just mean that she'd be around even more," Director of Student Life Zöe Worsnip said. The duties of an executive assistant are, "to help out with anything that has to be done around the office, including partaking in the agenda," Deveault said. The executives further discussed the possibility of a student strike at Dawson College. "We need to think about it because a lot of student unions are going on strike against student fee increases," Deveault said. Perron added that the DSU could “potentially start circulating out a petition at

the general assembly, calling for a special general assembly for a one day strike.” The DSU announced Friday that they will be holding a General Assembly on Nov. 3 to vote on whether or not the College should strike on Nov. 10. Fugazzo continued the discussion with the Protocol Agreement between Dawson College and the DSU and the clause that discusses The Plant. "Notwithstanding the status of the Plant as a club under the DSU jurisdiction, distribution of The Plant on College premises is subject to College policies." The executives asked for that point to be removed, but the College wants to keep it up since it is following provincial laws. “[Although] they don't have editorial rights on the Plant, they are allowed not to give it out,” Fugazzo said.

Spooktacle EMA KIBIRKSTIS

EDITOR: Casandra De Masi CONTACT: casandrademasi@gmail.com

STAFF WRITER

“This year’s there’s a huge partnership between the Student Union and Student Affairs, which is really great,” DSU Director of Student Life Zöe Worsnip said.

Halloween is just around the corner, and the Dawson Student Union (DSU) and Student Affairs have planned a spooky line-up of events, taking place all around the school on Oct 31. From 10a.m. to 3p.m. the DSU and Student Affairs will be holding multiple events and activities in Conrod’s, next to the atrium. Bring some change for the Halloween Bake-Off, the Candy Bar, Tarot Card readings, to get Zombie-fied, to play Tragic Sam’s Remains and eat the delicious DSU’s Dawson Dining with a pumpkin twist. From 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. there will be a pumpkin carving contest for those who previously reserved a pumpkin, though friends of the participants are invited to help gut. The prize(s) are still undetermined. The Dawson Blues’ Cheerleaders are bringing back the dead in the Lower Atrium at 12 p.m. with their “Thriller” dance mob. The costume competition will begin at 1 p.m., also in the Lower Atrium. Everyone is invited to come flaunt their costumes down the runway and flirt with the judges. The best three costumes will be awarded cash prizes of $100, $75, and $50. “The costume contest is going to be great,” Billi Jo Poirier, Recreation Technician at Student Affairs, said. “It’s going to be the most visual and probably most attended. We’re guessing that about 75 stu-

dents will compete.” Stop by Oliver’s (2C.1) to check out Chilloween, Dawson’s very own haunted house hosted by the Chill Club from 1:30p.m. to 4:30p.m. Make sure to bring an extra pair of pants incase of “accidents.” Flint Deita, a fifth semester CRLT student and Chill Club President, is hoping for 300 students to attend Chilloween. “They [the participants] are going to make their way through a maze filled with ‘scarers’, scary music, and those who make it out alive will get some treat or something. Not that anyone will die,” he said. Deita is also helping organize the CRLT Fun-Razor from 12p.m. to 2p.m. in the Atrium. “We’re going to bring back fun from the good old days,” Deita said. “There’s going to be 90s music, a photo booth, candy apples and lots more! Plus all donations go to UNICEF.” Finally, there will be a Club Decorating contest with the grand prize of a round of Lazer Tag. “This year’s there’s a huge partnership between the Student Union and Student Affairs, which is really great,” DSU Director of Student Life Zöe Worsnip said. “Plus clubs are getting really involved, old and new, and some are expanding. I mean Chilloween is going to be in Oliver’s for the first time, and the Comedy Club, new this year, suggested the Pumpkin Carving contest!”

the plant clip art swagg the plant you know you’re jealous the plant do all cats go to heaven? the plant

EVENTS


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 7

7 EDITOR: Nathalie Laflamme CONTACT: nat_laflamme@hotmail.com

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

Chick Beer was made especially for you and your vagina ANNA ZORIA ThE UbySSEy

VANCOUVER (CUP) — Ladies, we all know that after a long day, there’s nothing more refreshing than a beer (or two or three) with some friends. But why, you might ask, are none of the beers out there made for ladies? Molson, Kokanee, Guinness, Sleeman’s: they’re all just so … manly. Sigh. Enter Chick Beer: a new kind of beer that’s made just for you and your vagina. It comes in a pink bottle (so that you can instinctively be drawn to it at the liquor store) and is low in calories and carbs (so that you can now consider having dressing with that salad). The company slogan, “Witness the Chickness,” is done in a sophisticated Curlz MT font over the image of a little black dress on the label. And if that doesn’t sound like your grade three lunchbox already, did I mention that the six pack is designed to look like a purse? The Spice Girl power doesn’t stop there. The beer is also less carbonated so that you won’t feel “bloated” or, god forbid, burp. It also has a milder, sweeter taste. To recap: if you’re still considering that liquid bread, known as regular beer, you should also seriously think about getting a sex change. All joking aside, it is undeniable that the

founder of Chick Beer, Shazz Lewis, tapped into a niche market when she decided to make a beer “just for women.” While anyone who’s ever seen a beer commercial can tell you that the advertising is largely geared towards the male consumer, research shows that 25 per cent of all beer in the U.S. is bought by women. But is putting a light lager into a pink bottle really helping bridge that gap? Lewis said that from the start she knew that the uber-feminine packaging would garner some criticism. But she insisted that Chick Beer sends a positive message. “The women who embrace Chick Beer are self-assured, confident and powerful,” said Lewis. “They believe that fun and sexy are positive traits. They embrace their femininity, and are bold enough to understand that a word like ‘chick’ can’t hold them back.” This type of argument, however, falls short when we consider what femininity in the year 2011 actually means. If we constrain it to all things pink, girly and Sex and the City, aren’t we trivializing femininity? Scott Anderson, a University of British Columbia philosophy professor who specializes in gender, agreed that “the use of derogatory and diminishing stereotypes to categorize women tends to reinforce a sense that women enjoy being treated in ways that are sexualized and unserious.”

But Lewis does not seem to be fazed by the feminists. “Real progress requires dissent. We never expected everyone to like the Chick Beer concept. Name any concept — even something as accepted as the iPod or democracy — and I can show you some people who simply hate it." “It would have been easy to make a quiet little beer for women that would have met with both universal approval and universal disregard,” she added. “We chose to go another route.” While it is debatable that a beer that looks like a Sophie Kinsella novel is bringing progress to the feminist cause, Lewis does touch on a viable marketing point. By being modestly provocative, the young company has managed to garner a substantial amount of publicity. Though the responses have not been entirely positive, in its mere eight weeks of existence, Chick Beer has caused quite a stir in the press and has been featured on two of America’s three major morning news shows. Sauder School of Business chair of marketing Darren Dahl says that, while the company could have chosen to present the product with a bit more class, “often in marketing you’re not trying to get all the customers, you’re trying to get a segment that will make your organization viable. You may piss off a bunch of people in doing that, but those are not the

people you are interested in.” True, Chick Beer never claimed to appeal to all women. And if there is such a huge demand for this beer, then maybe our next step should be to develop some Forever Alone PMS Chocolate and tap into a whole new segment of Carrie Bradshaws.

At the end of the day, though, beer is beer. Women, just like men, enjoy it for its taste, body and strength. To assume that what women drinkers look for in a beer is mild taste and a low calorie count only further reinforces the idea that real beer is for men.

Stop being so awkward CHRISTOPHER CARMICHAEL ThE CAMpUS

SHERBROOKE (CUP) — “Awkward” is the word that people use to proclaim their embarrassment when the content of a conversation makes them feel uncomfortable. In truth, “awkward” has nothing to do with content, and everything to do with context. Awkwardness isn’t a product of what's being said, but a measure of how

so true.

uncomfortable you are saying or hearing it. For example, if I were to start talking to some random girl about this one time in the second grade when I accidentally pooped on the lid of the toilet seat, she might say, “Awkward!” However, if I were to tell my mother the exact same story, she would laugh and praise me for my selfdeprecating sense of humour. Given that the story is the same in both

source: theoatmeal.com

conversations, the non-awkward outcome with my mother indicates that she and I understand that everybody poops, and there’s nothing awkward about it. Granted, my mother wiped my ass for years, but even so, why should the same kind of understanding be missing in my conversation with the random girl? Why should it be awkward to discuss something as common as defecation? The point I’m trying to make is that no topic of conversation, no matter how bizarre, is inherently awkward. If a random girl feels embarrassed when discussing my ancient bowel movements, it’s because she can’t live with the fact that, below the surface, people are far more disgusting than the image they present. I don’t know why, but it’s quite common for people to deny the implications of their own biology. What advantage do we gain from this repressive type of thinking? Maybe you only feel comfortable discussing “polite” subjects, but the undeniable truth is that you came flying into this world out of a woman’s vagina, and now that you’re here, you’re pooping on a regular basis. Would-

n’t you rather live with the truth than maintain antiquated Victorian sensibilities? Indeed, to go around affecting awkwardness about the facts of life indicates the extent to which you — not the facts — are awkward. If you happen to feel awkward discussing masturbation, it doesn’t mean that masturbating is awkward; it means that you are awkward for failing to come to terms with a universal human behavior. The same logic applies to all those gross-yet-universal things we all do, but refuse to publicly acknowledge. Things like picking your nose, or wanting to have kinky sex or looking at your poop after you wipe. What good does it do us to deny the reality of our own actions and desires? So many wonderful activities and ideas are shunned as taboo because we’re afraid to accept them as part of ourselves. Within this denial of self we find what is truly awkward: those who are afraid to express their unusual sexual desires, those who are afraid to voice their controversial political opinions and those who cannot accept themselves for who they are because

they’re “different.” Our fear of being awkward prevents us from enjoying all the really fun parts of being human. As children, we ran around naked without even the slightest hint of embarrassment. Now that we’re adults, we can’t act in accord with our desires. Let us embrace the spirit of our childhood by recognizing how wonderful it is to be strange. If nothing else, at least our conversations will be more interesting! How much more fascinating would life be if we all started talking about our secrets? Imagine the glory that could be ours if only we shunned the typical and sought the extraordinary! Instead of drinking beer and watching hockey, we could eat exotic fruit and perform sock puppet theatre! Instead of going out for coffee, we could snog in pillow forts until the sun comes up. Almost anything would be better than what passes for normal these days. There’s a world of infinite possibility out there, and your fear of being awkward is the only thing preventing you from investigating its subtle delicacy.

the plant Is it raining? the plant no i think he’s just really sweatythe plant Cas has no soul. She makes fun of blind dogs. the plant witness the chickness....


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 8

8 EDITOR: Nathalie Laflamme CONTACT: nat_laflamme@hotmail.com

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

Libya liberated

Breaking News NATHALIE LAFLAMME INTERNATIONAL/CUp EDITOR

CASANDRA DE MASI NEWS EDITOR

After a 42-year long dictatorship, Libya was declared a free country by the National Transitional Council last Sunday in Bengahzi, following the death of Col. Muammar Gaddafi. Gaddafi was captured and killed last Thursday, after his tyranny spouted an eight month civil war in Libya. According to BBC, Gaddafi was found injured in a drainage pipe in his home town of Sirte. A post-mortem performed on his body last Sunday confirmed that the cause of death was a gun-shot wound to the head, Libya's chief forensic pathologist confirmed, according to CBC. His capture and demise came after NATO began a campaign that allowed them to use force to protect the Libyan people during the civil war. The campaign will come to an end on Oct. 31, according to BBC.

he will rest in pieces.

Thousands of Libyan citizens were injured or killed after the violent February 2011 protests against Gaddafi’s regime quickly turned into a full out civil war. The government was forced out of Tripoli in August, and Gaddafi refused to step down and encouraged followers to revolt against the new leaders, according to CBC. Many questions remain as to how the death of the fallen leader unfolded. Images and video of captors ridiculing and beating Gaddafi circulated around the internet. This evidence has many wondering whether Gaddafi’s death was the result of crossfire, or if the tyrant was executed, according to CBC. "We believe there is a need for an investigation and more details are needed to ascertain whether he was killed in the fighting or after his capture," United Nations human rights office spokesman Rupert Colville said, according to CNN. Following the autopsy, Gaddafi’s body was returned to the meat locker in which it

has been on display since Thursday, disregarding Islamic ritual and allowing crowds of Libyans to view the body for themselves, according to CBC. While the events that lead to his death pose many questions, many Libyans are ready to move on and begin their new lives. According to BBC, thousands of people gathered outside the Barracks in Benghazi, the original site of the start of the uprising, to hear the declaration of liberation. "This day is a great day for Libya, for the Libyans," NTC spokesman Mustapha Goubrani said, according to the BBC. “It's the first time we feel really fully independent. We have got rid of our dictator and we are starting now our democratic life." Chairman of the NTC, Mahmoud Jibril, stated that elections will be held in approximately eight months, according to CNN. The first vote to take place will be one for a National Congress in charge of drafting a proper constitution for the country. This will be followed by democratic elections, reported CNN. There is a lot of work to be done, with the re-building of the war-torn cities and disarming and reintegrating the civilians who took up the role of anti-Gaddafi fighters. According to Al- Jazeera, United Nations Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon, spoke in a press conference last Thursday, urging Libyan citizens to focus on rebuilding unity. He called on the anti-Gaddafi forces to hand over their weapons and for the NTC to assure that all citizens are included in the new government. Ki-moon said that it is now “a time for generosity of spirit, not revenge.”

Turkey will accept foreign aid to help with the aftermath of the 7.2 magnitude earthquake that hit on Sunday in Ercis, province of Van, after previously having declined offers, according to BBC. More then 2,000 buildings have been destroyed, according to officials.

help, they need somebody.

Lawmakers started a fight in Italy’s lower house of parliament yesterday, during a debate on proposed pension reforms. At least two lawmakers from the Northern League, the main coalition partner in Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's government, fought with members of the opposition FLI party, according to Italian news agency ANSA. According to ANSA, the fight broke out

fightin’ about duh law

EMA KIBIRKSTIS STAFF WRITER

MARICAR KRISTINE MONTES President Barack Obama announced on Oct 21 that soldiers will be home from Iraq for the holidays, ending the war, nearly nine years after former president George Bush sent the US army to invade Iraq. During a video conference that took place on Friday, the United States and Iraq showed that they agreed on their decisions about how they will move on, BBC reported. There are currently 39,000 troops left in Iraq. About 100,000 have already been sent back to America, and 4,400 soldiers died during their service, CNN reported. “Over the next two months our troops in Iraq, tens of thousands of them, will pack up their gear and board convoys for the journey home,” President Obama said in his videoconference. “The last American soldier will cross the border out of

source: oanow.com

when House Speaker Gianfranco Fini of the FLI party, claimed that Northern League leader Umberto Bossi’s wife had retired at age 39. A similar situation almost occurred Tuesday when Berlsuconi convinced the Northern League to accept his pension reform proposal, which would cause the retirement age to increase by two years, to 67, according to CNN.

source: nationalconfidential.com

Home for the holidays SUpER hAppy CRAZy FUN EDITOR

461 people have officially died, but the Red Crescent fears that hundreds, maybe thousands, are still trapped or dead under rubble in eastern Van province, according to BBC. Thousands are left without homes, and with no place to stay. Authorities were rushed to find shelter for the thousands forced to stay outside, according to The National Post.

Iraq with their heads held high, proud of their success and knowing that the American people stand united in our support for our troops.” The statistics of Iraqi civilian deaths are hard to determine, but has been estimated to be at a very high number, if not a million. As for money, the Democratic staff of the Congress’ Joint Economic Committee pulled out a report stating that the costs of the war is currently well over $1 trillion, according to The Washington Post. As of 2012, Iraq and the US will have an equal relationship between sovereign nations based on mutual agreements and respect in order to move forward and build “a strong and enduring partnership.” Prime Minister of Iraq, Nuri al-Maliki, was invited by President Obama to come to the White House in December to further discuss the work they must do together, according to BBC. It was proposed by leaders of Iraq that 5,000 of the American troops stay in Iraq, in order to train Iraqi troops. Although,

the soldiers would not be immune from being prosecuted under Iraqi court laws. If immunity were granted, soldiers would be safe from conviction for acts committed in Iraq. The United Sates refused Iraq’s proposal with the safety of their soldiers in thought. Defense Secretary, Leon Panetta, requested that we “protect and provide the appropriate immunity for our soldiers,” BBC reported. The refusal of granting immunity to the soldiers has been admitted by Prime Minister Maliki to have influence on President Obama’s decision to keep his promise and pulling the withdrawing the soldiers from Iraq, The Australian reported. “The Iraqi answer was that it’s impossible to grant immunity to a single American Soldier,” Prime Minister Maliki said. President Obama told Prime Minister Maliki that they would continue to discuss training and equipping of Iraqi forces, according to BBC.

Some parts of Bangkok could be flooded for up to a month, and water levels could rise to 1.5 meters high, Thailand’s Prime Minister said, according to BBC after floods caused by heavy rainfall lead to over $6 billion in damage, and affected approximately 9.5 million people. Three hundred and seventy-three

It’s Atlantis all over again.

source: nationalpost.com

deaths have been reported, according to CNN and many buildings have been evacuated. This includes the “Bangkok Hilton” jail, which was emptied of its most dangerous inmates yesterday, according to The Vancouver Sun. Water levels have reached their highest so far, the governor of Bangkok told CNN. A five-day public holiday was accorded to most areas, and public areas such as the airport and zoos have been evacuated.

source: telegraph.co.uk

the plant Russel+Coldplay=good timezthe plant MUMFORD AND SONS TOMORROW YESSSSSSSSSS the plant “TImes are rough. They really are fuck,” Casandra De Masi the plant


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 9

9 VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

EDITOR: Carl perks CONTACT: carlperks@gmail.com

What are YOU doing this Halloween? Here is what The Plant will be up to: ROCKY  HORROR KILL HALLOWEEN THE  GOODS  AT PICTURE  SHOW SALA  ROSSA This year’s edition of the Rocky Horror Picture Show has changed venues and it will now take place at the Imperial Cinema. Plastik Patrik will once again host the fan favourite costume party and seating is said to be bigger and better than in the past. All must be dressed in their best Rocky Horror costumes and be ready to Time Warp until their legs fall off. So put on your wigs and don’t for get to grab your water pistols, newspaper, toilet paper and toast for a most transsexual of nights. Advanced tickets are $17.95 each and $19.95 at the door.

KARL USAKOWSKI STAFF WRITER

CHOCOLATE MUMMYMUFFINS

If you’re in the mood for thumping techno beats, skimpy costumes, and loads of drunken fun this Halloween weekend, you’re in luck. Brought to you by Saintwoods, it’s all going down for Kill Halloween 2011 at the Telus Theatre (1280 Rue St-Denis) on October 28 from 9 p.m. until 3 a.m. Hailing from around the globe, the event’s headlining DJ’s are Datsik from BC, The M Machine from San Francisco, and the UK’s Funtcase. This isn’t to say, though, that a few other impressive household names that we know and love won’t be pitching in to make this year’s Kill Hallowen utterly unforgettable. Vilify, Love Thy Brother, Dooze Jackers, Adventure Club, and Royce&Tan will also be spinning for this “freakish full-on sensory overload,” as described by the event page. Do the right thing and stay classy this Halloween: bust out your sluttiest costumes, drink an entire bottle of Grey Goose to yourself, and haul yourselves down to the Telus Theatre. It’s going to be one hell of a show.

STEPH ULLMAN STAFF WRITER

GREEN  DEVIL JELLO  SHOTS

This event is my favorite dance party of all times. The Goods at the Sala Rossa (a homey bar/club/show room on St.-Laurent and St.Joseph). It’s always on the last weekend of the month and so happens to fall on the Saturday before Halloween! The two resident DJ’s, Scott C and Andy, kick ass and mix a variety of break beats, old school hip-hop, reggae, slow jams, samba, (good) house, electro, and old classics. It’s the only club in Montreal where there isn’t one square inch of the floor that isn’t occupied by someone dancing, and that night will be filled with delightfully costumed freaks. Also, going to La Ronde for the 31 has always been a kind of fantasy for me but I could never afford to go. If finances allow it, run to the front line of each roller coaster and absorb all the overwhelming fun, then go back home tired, sticky and happy after a long night of cotton candy and screaming. Finally, the cheap and fun way to spend Halloween is trick or treating; we’re never too old! Heed to your nostalgia and dress up and go door to door with all the toddlers and pre-teens. You probably won’t get as much candy as you used to but people will appreciate the dressing up and you’ll at least have a good laugh. Happy Halloween!

ABIGAIL DE BURGH GALWEY STAFF WRITER

BAT  OUT  OF HELL  JELLO  SHOT 1 package chocolate Duncan Hines cake mix 1 package chocolate pudding mix 1 cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin filling) 1 1/3 cup water

1 cup boiling water

Icing sugar, in a tube, white

1 package lime Jell-o

Smarties

½ cup cold water

Preheat oven at 350F. Take the pumpkin and water, and combine. Add chocolate pudding mix. Add Duncan Hines mix and beat for 2 minutes. Fill greased muffin cups and place in oven for 20-30 minutes. Watch carefully. When done, let cool. Take icing sugar and drizzle in a zig zag, from right to left. Add two smarties, as eyes. Serves 20-24

¼ cup Gin ¼ cup Green Creme de Menthe (white is fine too) Dissolve Jell-o package in boiling water and stir until fully dissolved. Add the water, then the gin and Creme de Menthe. Stir well and let cool. Makes 15 shots Just thought you guys would enjoy some creepy crawly fun! Don’t over do it, though!

1 cup boiling water 1 package orange jello (sugar free) ½ cup Red bull ¼ cup Rum ¼ cup Blue Curacao Measure 1 cup boiling water and dissolve the jell-o powder in there. Stir for 2 minutes until fully dissolved. Add ½ a cup Red Bull, ¼ cup of Rum, and ¼ cup Blue Curacaco. Stir well and let cool. Serves 15 shots

the plant Recipe pictures for Dummies: The first one is a mummy robbing chocolate muffins the plant The second one is a GREEN devil standing on a shot glass. the plant

third one is a bat thieving a shot glass


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 10

Freedom or Death at Club Lambi, Show Review + Interview

arts&culture

10

Sway and his guitar

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

Photo: Brenden Di Vittori

TYLER RUSSHOGG STAFF WRITER

CASSANDRA DE MASI

EDITOR: Carl perks CONTACT: carlperks@gmail.com

NEWS EDITOR

Freedom or Death is a band from Toronto made up of artists Sway and Fernandez. Despite being an integral part of the band, Fernandez never performs live. The musicians that stand in for him are Dan Miller on the keyboards and Adam Doige on the drums. Friday nights show at the Club Lambi started off with a dismal opening performance by Super Fossil Power (a one man band complete with keytar solos). With his strobe lights and smoke machines he played about seven songs of nausea inducing techno. Despite the disappointing opener, Freedom or Death took the stage and brought a surprising amount of energy to their relatively calm type of music. Sway, the lead singer, playing a fender Telecaster and sporting some very nice tattoos, jumped around the whole time, interacting with the audience and his band mates. All in all, a fantastic concert.

Ex tr a

Ti ck er

Ta pe

Sp ec ia l!

How would you define the type of music you play? It’s hard to describe. I love very dramatic music. I like music that’s a little left of center but I completely appreciate pop. I think what it is, is we try to make music that’s intense and dramatic but emotional and groovy. I think the word emotion is the most important, because whenever I play or listen to one of my songs it evokes some type of emotion. We’ve been labeled electronic folk at times, I’m not sure I understand it but I guess it fits. You just released a nine track EP labeled Ego that you guys wrote, recorded and produced entirely yourselves, how was your recording experience? Well, the studio is my bedroom. We have

an interesting way of recording. We only had one song we wrote together in the same room. The rest of the album is basically recorded from my apartment and his, sending each other riffs or ideas and expanding on it. Sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for weeks at a time. How do you think the Ego EP compares to your last self-labeled EP? I think it’s a progression. When I look at the first album, I think: why did we do that? The first album was meant to be an acoustic album, basically because we didn’t know how to produce records. But by the time we finished the album, we had experimented with so much that we kinda learned and were able to go back at it for the next album. What are your musical influences? Well, I grew up listening to a lot of reggae and soul music. Fernandez grew up on disco and a lot of hair metal. I think where we come together is with hip-hop. Fernandez was a hip-hop DJ at one point and I rapped in high school. And a lot of people tell us they can hear the hip-hop in our music. I don’t hear it though.

I’d have to say the metropolis. There’s two kinds of aspects to a venue. The actual building, and the crowd inside. I find the best shows are created by the fans and that’s why I would say metropolis, because it was pure elation stepping onto that stage. Besides that there’s a place in Edmonton called The Artery, it’s an art gallery that’s used for shows, and it’s really cool. And then a café in Kenmore, Alberta that seated 60 people but somehow squeezed in like 85, that was a lot of fun. What do you think of the Montreal Music scene? Haha, okay. How do I say this in the right way. You know in high school when there’s the one really cool popular kid that everyone loves? That to me is Toronto. Then there’s the outsider kid that’s a bit weird but still cool, and nobody really knows him. That to me is Montreal. But I think what happens in that kind of dynamic is that the outsider creates really interesting music. I think Montreal repeatedly comes out with artists that slap the rest of the country in the face. I think a great example is arcade fire. There is no band that’s been able to replicate their sound, they’ve tried but they haven’t. It’s fantastic.

What are you favorite venues to play in?

ALBUM REVIEW of the WEEK

COLDPLAY MYLO XYLOTO Su pe r

What is Freedom or Death? Freedom or Death is kinda my life. You get to a point in life where you have a decision to make. You can either do something you’ve already done and stay in the mold or go out and do what makes you happy. Freedom or Death forces me to make good decisions in my life. And as for the band name, I think Fernandez just said it at one point. It was just another one of our ideas.

There is but one word to describe Coldplay’s new album: noisy. There are enough vocal chants, electronic beats and thumping to bring a house down. However, it all oddly comes together in a neat, seriously unconventional and highly enjoyable package. After their war-themed Viva La Vida or Death and All His friends, Chris, Will,

Johnny and Guy are back with Mylo Xyloto. No, I cannot pronounce it either. The rowdiness of the graffiti themed album art is nothing compared to the trip the band takes its listeners on. Producer/ composer Brian Eno, who worked with the band on their last album, is back and so is his influence. It can definitely be heard again on power pop ballads like “Hurts like Heaven,” “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” and “Paradise.” Mylo Xyloto produces a strange mix of sound that comes together to form this wonderful harmonious ruckus which is very unlike anything heard on past albums. Songs like “Charlie Brown” and “Don’t Let it Break Your Heart” explode out of your speakers, filling your body with adrenaline; your heart performing somersaults in your chest. The remnants of the “old” Coldplay are still present. “Up In Flames” sounds eerily similar to “Amsterdam” off A Rush of Blood to the Head. “Us Against the World” features that raw, emotional feel

Martin’s voice exudes, something Coldplay fans know all too well. As one of the more subdued tracks on the album, it gives listeners a bit of a breather from the high energy tunes that surround it. “Princess of China’s” grittiness pulls you by the hair, creating a film noire atmosphere. Rihanna and Martin’s voices surprisingly fit together smoothly; a nice contrast to the pulsing beat. However, I am not a fan of Rhianna’s solo in the song; it almost gives it a Disney vibe, making it my least favorite track. “Major Minus” sounds like it came right off of U2’s famed Achtung Baby. It has this mysterious vibe to it and leaves you looking over your shoulder with lyrics like “They’ve got one eye watching you/ one eye on what you do/ so be careful who it is you’re talking to.” I was quite disappointed to see the exclusion of “Moving to Mars,” a song also released this summer. It had a bizarre and haunting sound very reminiscent of Coldplay circa 2002.

Mylo Xyloto is a burst of energy, and love them or hate them, one must admit that they sure do know how to reinvent themselves. They managed to change up their style drastically, but still kept all those key elements that make their sound so recognizable in tact. All I can think about when listening to the album is how amazing these arena-ballads will sound live. It’s always better live.

Coldplay’s Mylo Xyloto 8.5/10

the plant I’m not going to conform the the stale, monotone boundaries of this ticker tape. the plant Watch me step outside the box the plant LALA, Here it comes:


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 11

11 EDITOR: Zac Starke CONTACT: zacstarke@live.ca

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

PEUR-DE-LYS Ever question the existence of ghosts? Staff writer Ema Kibirkstis has.

EMA KIBIRKSTIS STAFF WRITER

I dare you to stare into the mirror after midnight with a candle and repeat “Bloody Mary” three times without shying out. Have you done it? I’m sure nothing will happen, I mean the fundamental laws of physics would be broken if a woman suddenly leaped out from the mirror and killed you; yet I’m sure some still get a lump in their throat while attempting this. Ghosts, spirits and other paranormal activity seem far too childish for some to truthfully believe in and most deem physically impossible. Yet somehow, shows, such as Ghost Hunters can reel in millions of viewers. Some evidence appears so amazingly realistic, but with all the technological advancement and special effects capable of create life-like human beings, how are we to know what is rea Forty-seven out of one hundred Dawson students believe in ghosts and another 55 students claim they, or somebody close to them, have been subject to a paranormal experience. I soon discovered that there was more than enough paranormal activity going on around Montreal for anyone, believers and skeptics alike, to explore and judge for themselves. Patrick Zakhm, creator of MontrealParanormal.com, launched the website back in 2001 and has been keeping track of strange local happenings in the area for every-

one to see. He ex plains that even from a young age h e hashad an inexplicable interest in the field. “I’ve alw a y s had a very perceptive nature, even when I was a child, a natural detective if you like.” However, despite his recorded decade as a paranormal investigator, Zakhm’s intrigue in the paranormal truly sparked back in 1996, during an ESP Psychic Fair at Place Bonaventure. “I was approached by a medium asking permission to give me a message,” he recalled. “I accepted, even though I was somewhat of a skeptic.” He took note of the medium, conjuring the description of a shoemaker who had been murdered in Africa for giving away free shoes. I started asking around about the person [the

As a paranormal investigator, he has been visiting and documenting areas ever since. He receives an a bu n d a n c e of e-mails concerning ghosts a n d hauntings; he is is curr e n t l y working on his third b o o k , which will describe all of his experiences.

medium] had described,” Zakhm continued. “That person turned out to be my grandfather on my mother’s side. That experience piqued my curiosity and made me wonder how a complete stranger could have known such a thing, in so much detail.”

Zakhm was interviewed back in April by the Montreal Mirror and was asked if people ever approach him negatively, or challenge his profession. “Many, many people contact me, “ Zakhm explained, “but I’m sure there’re many more Montrealers who won’t share their ghost experiences for fear of what people will think of them. They know people will go, ‘Are you on drugs? What kind of pot are you smoking?’ But they open up to me because they know I understand.” Continuing on in my search,

the plant True story, it happened to a bro of a bro of mine...bro the plant bro bro bro bro bro bro the plant Game on brohame the plant

I stumbled upon Old Montreal Ghost Tours, which has been giving tours of the Old Port for the past twelve years. Louise Hebert, manager and owner of the company, doesn’t believe in ghosts herself, simply because she’s never experienced a paranormal event for herself, though she does believe others have had occurrences. “Most people who come on the tours have either had an experience, or wish to have a laugh,” Hebert said. “Our Ghost Hunts are just for fun, we have about 20 professional actors around the Old Port telling real stories and history of people who have died, sometimes being very dark and sordid stories. Traditional Ghost Walks, on the other hand, still has the same storytelling principle with historic facts, but is told by one tour guide.” Eric Poulin originally opened Old Montreal Ghost Tours after visiting a Jack the Ripper Walking Tour in London. He got inspired, did some research on Montreal and got the company going. He managed it for about four years and passed the torch on to Hebert who has been in charge ever since. She is also the president of Guidatour, a tour guide agency in Montreal, Quebec City and Ottawa and was also voted in Chatelaine, April 2005, as one of the Top Ten Women of the Year.

Don’t bro-lieve in ghosts? Well they don’t bro-lieve in you either!


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 12

12 EDITOR: Zac Starke CONTACT: zacstarke@live.ca The tours are available during the summer and end after the Halloween season. “They sell out quick. The weekend before Halloween only has a few spots left,” Hebert explained. If interested, make sure to check out the website for the dates and call the ticket office to save a spot Maybe Old Montreal Ghost Tours wasn’t all I thought it would be; but it still proved to attract a crowd. We crave to learn about all sorts of inexplicable, disturbing and sometimes morbid stories for the sheer reason of entertainment. Humans seem to

be naturally drawn to others in distress. Some watch the Blair Witch Project, others read Stephen King novels, or visit graveyards; in the end it is to get that boost of adrenaline caused by fear of the unknown. Melany Yelle Nikischer, a fourth semester Cin/Vid/Com student at Dawson is making a documentary on haunted areas in Montreal. Though Yelle has not had any experiences of her own, she says that her parents have had some strange coinci-

Discussions on haunted areas can be found all over the Internet [and there are arranged meet-ups for the daring available as well. Zakhm proposed a few areas for those Dawsonites out there willing to investigate. L’Auberge Saint-Gabriel was built in 1688 and was the first inn in North America. Located in the Old Port, it is now a beautifully decorated restaurant with a pricey menu. There is said to be many ghosts living there, “the most famous ghost there is a little girl that died in the 1800s in a fire,” Zakhm said. “Tell them you’re interested in the ghost and politely ask permission to look around. Some bar-

tenders have stories to share.” The Chateau Ramezay, also situated in Old Montreal, was constructed in 1705 as a residence for Claude de Ramzay, a governor of Montreal. The establishment was then used for multiple people and purposes and is said to have received important people such as Emile Nelligan and Benjamin Franklin. It was transformed into a museum in 1895 and now sho historic paintings, printed material, furniture, and much more. There is said to be a multitude of ghosts residing there, many of whom have been recorded to approach visitors.

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011 dences in their house in Morin Heights in the Laurentians. “My father would be away, and my mother [who would be] in the shower would hear a voice calling out her name,” Yelle explained. “They would hear music and footsteps coming from the attic, but nothing was there. My dad was/is a drummer, and the downstairs studio would turn on by itself and switch channels. Light beams would follow my

The Saint-James United Church, on Sainte-Catherine by McGill metro, had officially completed construction in 1889 and is the fourth building congregated to Methodists in Montreal. Zakhm explains that he, akin to many others, have often witnessed ghosts here: “I picked up on one of them [ghosts] one time sitting on the balcony. Other people have reported seeing a couple sitting up there on the lower side of the balcony.” For those who live in the Hudson area, there is the infamous Willow Place Inn, mentioned in Ghost Stories

mother downstairs.” They finally decided that enough was enough and moved out of the house. Her interest grew and prompted her to visit Salem with her mother. “I went to Salem for fun with my mom.” Yelle said. “Both of us had read [about] Wicca and we thought it would be cool to go again for Halloween. People were dressed in costumes and lined up for the haunted museums.” She was also able to meet with a psychic there, who was able to read their per-

sonalities and predict their futures through an assortment of stones and crystals. The subjects would choose the items with eyes either open or closed. “My mother and I picked some of the same stones with eyes closed.” Now she’s back in school and hopes to start visiting haunted places next week for her documentary. “It’s going to be informative and will be telling someone [many] real life experiences with paranormal activity, such as at Les 3 Brasseurs on rue SaintPaul in Old Montreal,” Yelle said.

of Canada, a book written by John Robert Colombo which was published in 2000. The inn is said to be haunted by Maud, a servant girl who resided there during the Patriots’ era. The patriots would use the building as a covert meeting place before the uprising of 1837, in St-Eustache. These men killed the young girl when they had discovered that she overheard all of their plans and sympathized with the militia. They buried her in the mud flooring of the basement and has been said to haunt the inn until this very day. Rumor has it that she becomes the most active throughout the

month of November, during such time, piles of rocks mysteriously appear outside of room 8, mushrooms sprout above of the spot where her body was buried, the basement door randomly flings shut, an ominous chanting spawns without a source and a unidentifiable perfumed scent sullenly wafts through the air. It is still unknown to us whether or not ghost and spirits actually exist and whether paranormal activities can be deemed justifiable or not. The mystery continues, research evolves and we remain agog. Will any sort of research prove it wrong or right, or will it always remain a mystery?

the plant That painting of the old guy with the pitchfork traumatized me as a child the plant Not because of the pitchfork the plant But because the dude is bald the plant


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13 VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: olivernacey@gmail.com

Mush. SHIREL REVAH GRAphICS EDITOR

Vacation. Everyone wants it, and if you're as broke and busy as I am, you haven't had the pleasure of experiencing it for the past few years of your short life. When you're 20 years old, living on your own, and have a million and one things to do every day, an expensive and extensive vacation is completely out of the question. The truth is that usually, planning a vacation is a labour in itself. I like to get up close and personal with my pillow during any scarce "free" time I've got. The only tans and drinks I am currently able to afford entail a luminous computer screen beating down on my pasty white skin as I attempt to guzzle down my sixth cup of my no name charcoal black coffee. I can, however, afford a three-hour trip to another planet... Who wouldn't love to be able to escape the city for a few hours, without the fuss of transportation or a plan? Let's cut to the chase, shall we? The answer to this fifteen dollar getaway begins with a "P" and ends with "silocybin.” The psilocybin mushroom, popularly known as the magic mushroom, is a psychedelic drug and your ticket to escaping reality for a little while. Take it away, trusty ol' Wikipedia; "Psilocybin [...] is a psychedelic drug, with mind-altering effects similar to those of LSD and mescaline. The effects can include altered thinking processes, perceptual distortions, an altered sense of time, and spiritual experiences." If that technical and simple definition has already turned you off of the subject, then magic mushrooms probably aren't for you. People have many different reasons for wanting to try this drug; trying to regain inspiration in their life, peer pressure, or just a craving to try it out. I am not encouraging everyone to take mush, but if you're gonna do it, be wise about it. Shrooms can be either a beautiful refreshing experience, or a trip that will cause you to have terrible realizations about your life. Everything around you turns into a factor to take into consideration on your trip. The key is to go into it with no fear and no expectations. It is best to take them during the day without having eaten much food. I recommend eating a small breakfast at eight in the morning and taking the mush at least four hours after you've eaten. The reason for this is because you may feel a bit of nausea hit you as you begin to get high, and if you just ate a huge meal you will most likely puke or your trip will take much longer to kick in. Who you are with also contributes to your trip. Taking it with more than five people gets risky, because you don't especially enjoy interacting with people when you are lost in your own crazy little world. I

They’re magic.

We won’t take a hike. can not stress enough that mushrooms are NOT a party drug. Also, don't take mush with people that you don't feel comfortable around or that you don't trust to help you get out of a bad trip. And it never hurts to have one trustworthy person who isn't getting high to make sure you don't do anything too stupid. Taking shrooms in pairs is okay too, but taking it with someone that you are in a relationship with is usually a horrible idea. What happens on mushrooms is that you contemplate everything around you. You feel both nothing and everything towards the subject of your thoughts, and if the subject is your relationship, you will grill yourself about it to the point where you won't see any value in being with your partner. Never take more than 1.75 grams of mushrooms on your first trip, unless you are a masochist. Sure, it's fun to step out of your sane pattern of thinking for a while and to permit your thoughts to run wild, but you also don't want to cause yourself to badtrip. If you're comfortable with smoking weed, smoking a joint twenty minutes after consuming the drug helps ease you into the high. Being outdoors in a secluded area, especially near a forest, in good weather is almost a guarantee of a great trip. If you already have some love for nature and art, shrooms will let you see colours and patterns in the outdoors as you've never seen them before, and may even improve your style of writing or drawing. Be sure to shut off your cellphones because electronic devices will only confuse you during your natural escape. If you are planning on taking mushrooms indoors in an unfamiliar place, the room which you are in should be minimally decorated. Too much visual noise will overwhelm you. Also, have an object that is familiar and symbolic to you at hand. If you start to bad trip, just take deep breaths, hold on to your good luck charm, and remind yourself that you are on a drug. If you follow these basic strategies and strongly believe that you can go into the trip in a calm state of mind, then you have my blessing. If all goes well, you will have an incredible experience that will make your true feelings more apparent and clear to you. Coming out of a successful trip feels like you were at a spa for the past three hours of your life. It's a breath of fresh air, and is as effective as a two-week vacation. You can come out of it feeling lazy, calm, and at ease, or you can come out of it and turn your life around by being incredibly productive and constantly in an afterglow state. Don't let anyone force you into taking drugs, no matter how badly you want to impress them. But if you do want to, be smart about it! Don't abuse drugs and turn it into a hobby, or else you will lose touch with reality.

photo credit: panoramio.com

CAMILA MARTINEZ-LISLE  STAFF WRITER

You're all probably thinking, "Oh no, not another article on the tuition hikes," but with the manifestation of Nov. 11 approaching I thought it would be a good subject. Plus I think there is a great portion of students that are tired of hearing about it but don't know anything about the hike. It's not that I am generalizing, but I think everyone should be a little bit more informed. Did you know that the government is planning to increase university fees by almost 75 per cent? That means that university fees will climb from $1 668 to $3 793, which is a big increase. At the same time the government is saying that the money is going to go directly to service helping the student. Not sure about that. According to L'Institut de recherche et d'informations socio-économiques only 50 to 60 per cent will go directly to services for students. In other words, the money is going to go more into privatization than is towards your education. This means you’re probably going to have to work more and you’re also going to have a lot more debt when you come out from there. According to the Canadian Center for Policy Alternatives in 2005, 27 per cent of Canadians left universities with over $25,000 in debt compared to 17 per cent in 1995, what will it be in 2012? It also means that it will deprive universities of 30,000 students. How do you feel about that? You might say, "Oh, but in the U.S it’s much more expensive." You know what? We’re not in the U.S. Reality check, we

November 10

live in Canada, specifically in Quebec and I don't care if it's more expensive in the U.S. because I am not going to go study there. Yes, the tuition will always be less expensive than over there but it is not a reason for us to allow a hike without reacting. And while we’re at it, a bunch of countries like Sweden and Greece have free university education for their citizens. You might also say that we are the province in Canada that has the lower tuition fee. If so, why can't we be the example for the rest of Canada. We are one of the only remaining countries where tuition fees change from province to province. It is not only us that are going to be affected by a hike, according to Statistic Canada most provinces tuitions will be increasing by 4.3 per cent. Think about it, you would not be fighting only for yourself but for all the students

photo credit: theconcordian.com

in your country. I know that a bunch of you won't be paying their university therefore you are probably going to disregard this article, but if not for you, do it for your parents that are probably going to be putting a lot more money for your education, and count yourself lucky. For those who will be paying their university fees or part of them, come and protest Nov. 11 so that the message gets through, join the "Education is a Right" movement. For more information there is a booklet from L'Institut de recherche et d'informations socio-économiques called " Faut-il vraiment augmenter la hause de scolarité ? Huits arguments trompeurs sur la hausse," with all you need to know. The Dawson Student Union is also very involved, hope to all see you at the protest!

Which witch is which? BARBARA MADIMENOS FREELANCER

Just the other day, I was at Dollarama shopping for some Halloween candy to give out to little trick-or-treaters, as well as enjoying the decorations the store held. Growing up, just like many children, I loved the hype of Halloween, but I always had a keen interest in witches. I remember, taking it upon myself to go to the library and see what sort of relation witches had to Halloween and ended up finding a book on the religions of Wicca and Paganism. Now before you jump to conclusions,

Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit

these religions have nothing to do with the type of witchcraft from Harry Potter or the devil. I am here, in a nutshell (don’t worry I am not going to lecture you -wags finger-) to raise awareness and make things clear about these two belief systems. Why? Because, quite frankly, after teaching myself on what they entail, it frustrates me that our society has saturated them with stereotypes to a point that it is discriminatory. Wicca and Paganism are associated with the natural world, meaning their belief systems, their rituals, holidays, and so forth, are all, in a sense, connected with the environment. This ‘magic’ that people refer to has nothing to do with wands and pretty sparkles coming out of peo-

photo credit: scenicreflections.com

the plant Dear God-zilla, the plant Thank you for giving me Mi Goreng Satay, the plant Ramen. the plant

ple’s fingers. Rather, it could be a form of prayer, or, as all of us are familiar with since we had to endure learning about the Aboriginald for more than half our lives, rituals that make use of our natural world. Also, in association with ‘magic’, some idiots think that Wiccans and Pagans believe in everything satanic and evil. Ahem, let`s make things very clear now, THEY DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL. Okay? Great. So you see, the pentacle (you may know it as the devil star) that they have as an icon of their religion, is actually a symbol of the five natural elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit. Didn’t think of that one, eh? That’s what you get for being lazy and not taking up the initiative to research things and becoming all judgmental. So, what do they believe in then, if God and The Devil are out of the picture? They believe in multiple deities, meaning they are polytheistic, which is Greek for “many gods.” It really is all that simple. Just like the typical Christian, Protestant, Taoist, Jewish or any other religion out there, we should not judge those that are a minority in our society without learning even just the basis of what they entail. This weekend you're not going to have a curse cast on you, at least not from a Wiccan or Pagan.


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voices

Small Talk DELPHINE LEWIS FREELANCER

Ema the Explorer EMA KIBIRKSTIS

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

STAFF WRITER

EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: olivernacey@gmail.com

photo credit: blogs.saschina.org

Chernobyl: Fudgy fudge fudge.

Okay, so I may have lied an itsy bitsy bit last week, I am not going to speak of my travels to Mars quite simply because the city names can not be written in any language on earth. This week, and this week only, I’m going to switch up the game and enchant you with seven places that I’d like to visit to wet myself. 5. Get lost with some ghosts. The Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California is huge, beautiful and fudged up (excuse my language). Legend has it that Sarah Winchester built this house when her husband William Wirt Winchester, the treasurer of his father’s ‘Winchester Repeating Arms Company’, died. She paid carpenters to work 24 hours a day until her death, 38 years later, to build a maze-house for the lost souls caused by her husbands company. Why is it so goddamn awesome, you may ask? Well, it has 160 rooms, 47 fireplaces, 10,000 windows, 17 chimneys and three elevators. Need more awesome? There are staircases that lead to nowhere, closets doors that open to brick walls, trapdoors, doors that open to a long fall, the repetition of objects in thirteen’s, and a repeated spider web pattern. So yea, I don’t regret calling this place ‘fudged up’. 4. Suck it up. Don’t go looking for gay sparkling vampires when you visit Romania because this is REAL Vampireland… Kind of. Romania is home of the legendary Bran Castle, also known as “Dracula’s Castle”. Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” was based on the life of Vlad III, also known as Vlad the Impaler. Bloodthirsty is more figurative for this man who saw approximately 20,000 to 300,000 people get tortured and killed, and loved it! Rumor has it he ate a meal of the flesh and blood of his victims, which is like every Tuesday night at my place… What? Anyway, Bran Castle is situated near Transylvania, but Vlad III only stayed there a few times. Poenari Castle is where he stayed the longest, but most of it is in ruins and not even close to be being as sexy as Bran. 4. Hang out in Salem (lol get it?). This ain’t no Blair Witch project fools, this is the real shit. People were accused of practicing ‘dark magic’ and worshipping the devil, then tortured and killed. Salem, Massachusetts is home to the Salem Witch Trials where more than 150 people were imprisoned. Today, it is home to tacky lit-

tle wannabe witchcraft shops and the Salem Witch Museum. 6. Visit Edinburgh. Trying to understand a Scottish accent makes me tinkle, so imagine going all the way down to Mary King’s Close to visit an underground streets where plagued victims were left to die in the 17th century. Their diseased souls are said to haunt those hidden streets and make people shit themselves. Also a must-see is the Edinburgh Castle. Victims were starved and tortured in the dungeons underneath the castle; some investigating the area were said to have disappeared. 3. Visit Johnny. Stephen King is überly awesome, super duper cool, and wrote The Shining after staying at The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado. And guess what?! The hotel is haunted (ahhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt). The ballroom has awesome parties with no attendees…Catch my drift? Also heard from this haunted room is music from the piano, though, once again there’s no one there (ouuuuuuhhhhhh). Stephen King stayed in room 217, even though nothing paranormal is said to happen there, you can take some LSD or something and make it happen. 2. Chill with the dead French. Leave it to the French to create walls of human bones, in other words a necrophiliac’s whorehouse... Or something. Anyway, the story is that a lot of people died during the Roman times in Paris and their solution was to have ‘mass inhumation’ which means pilling up the dead in one grave until toes start peeking through the dirt in Saint Innocent’s Cemetery. The place was actually overflowing with the bones of about six million people until someone stood up and said “Dude, we have to do something, this shit ain’t right. Let’s take two years to bring all the bodies to the unused tunnels on the outskirts of the city where some random dudes can pile the bones up all artistically and shit.” Years later it became a tourist attraction which is still causing nightmares. 1. Visit Chernobyl. Take a tour through the worst nuclear disaster area in all of history! YAY! Thirty people died due to radiation poisoning in the few weeks following the event and people are still dying. Swings don’t stop swinging, and buildings look as though people have just *poof*, disappeared.

Once a year, we get the chance to be anything, anyone and portray any stereotype, cliché or catch phrase we wish, without facing any judgment, in most circumstances. Unfortunately, our imaginations don’t always seem to take full advantage of the millions of Halloween costume ideas that are waiting to be discovered. Many of us last minute, flustered partygoers tend to resort to the safe and classic costumes such as pirates, witches, or zombies. However, over the years, it seems as though these costumes have gone from classics to plain to lame. Every year we are also offered new categories of costumes according to our age group, trends in popular culture, and new obsessions the marketers think our generation has developed, like Glee, Harry Potter and of course… hipsters. All of us have already faced stages in our costume life history: furry animal combinations, plump bugs, princesses, pirates, superheroes, creepy and sometimes gruesome zombies, inappropriate attires, and finally, our attempts to combine wit as well as warmth into our ensembles. A new interest in thought provoking and original costumes shows some kind of hope that our generation has finally

understood that even at our age, costumes do not necessarily have to include striking sex appeal. Sadly, these absurd and comical costume requisites may be leaving some of us less clever people out of the loop, continually trapped in a whirlpool of regularities. Three main concerns are usually taken into consideration when deciding on a costume, and these present some of us with quite a few challenges. How can we dress up without really “dressing up”, succeed in provoking at least one chuckle during our evening, and combat the excruciatingly cold weather we always end up facing on October 31st? It’s becoming clearer that when it comes to costumes, “simplicity is key”. Why is it that the one time we all have a complete “green card” in creating new identities and being whomever or whatever we wish, we have such a hard time concluding our never-ending search for the perfect costume? Is it better to avoid dressing up at all if you’re to end up borrowing regular and commonly employed personas? Now we’re in college. What to do? And why do we do it anyways? It’s no longer for the candy. It’s no longer for the parents. Are Halloween costumes our last chance to be really free from parental and even peer pressure? To let our imaginations run wild? If so, why don’t we plunge right in?

WORD IN THE HERD What offbeat thing would you protest about? “Peanuts” Ashley Broadhurst International Business 3rd Semester But I love Charlie Brown!

“Meat” Chelsea Morgan Professional Theatre 2nd Semester Fuck that, *burp*, seriously.

"Used Condoms" Gregory Webb General Social Science 3rd Semester Because unused condoms would be perfectly acceptable. This is the better Salem. Broos Clues

photo credit: sabrinatheteenagewitch.wikia.com

the plant Ull man. A German men’s fragrance. the plant USS Akowski. A naval boat run by farm animals with a passion for winter sports.


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Skanks This is such a bad way to approach kinky sex. Just because you’ve been eating spaghetti your whole life and someone offers you steak doesn’t mean you should say no. You can appreciate the greater times as long as you can distinguish good from great. Since sex has become a human need you’re going to want it either way, in hand-cuffs or not. Everything should be done in moderation. If you become obsessed and addicted to bondage, which usually happens through excessive use, then it may get to the point where it takes over your life. But like every bad habit, it can be broken. So fear isn’t an excuse, you’ll be leading an inexperienced life never truly understanding the real joys of sex. In any case, have fun and don’t forget the safe word.

Well, that’s probably because she will find out. Let’s face it; no one can keep a secret, not forever at least. Your best bet is she finds out after the relationship is over and she’s over him. This probably won’t happen though, because we live in a society where we fiend off this stuff. So prepare to be the center of conversation and have people suddenly stop talking once you enter a room. Perhaps lose some friends too, no one likes a home wrecker. Maybe even get your ass beat. So if you have no pride or respect either way, you can go and keep boning him, on the other hand, if you want to be a decent human being you should probably stop now. Stop being a slut. Be a skank.

Love and Lube, The Skanks

Overheard Teacher: Get on your knees. Student: Ok, sir. Shit Friend

“I don’t need to speak Russian” Passer-by

Shizz in the Bizz Why is it that people get butt hurt so easily? There isn’t enough diaper rash cream in this world to go around. It happens a lot in Hollywood where people decided to boycott films, TV shows, or music because they were offended by it. There is always that one person who takes it way too far and ruins everyone’s fun. Party poopers… This time, there is a woman suing FilmDistrict, the distributers for Drive, the Nicolas Winding Refn thriller starring Ryan Gosling. Her reason? The trailer of the movie was misleading. Apparently, this woman thought the movie was going to be more like The Fast and the Furious. "DRIVE bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film… having very [sic] little driving in the motion picture," she said, according to the Huffington Post. I can sympathize. I hate it when action movies have an actual plot, character development, and fantastic cinematography. I like big noises, fires, bouncing cars and Vin Diesel’s remarkable acting. Seriously though, who does she think she’s kidding? Sure, she has every right to say she did not like the movie; I saw it, and I can understand why someone may not enjoy it. Let’s just say it isn’t for the faint of heart. However, I think someone forgot to mention to her that in life, you need to pick your battles. Believe me, there are plenty of battles to be fought all over the world, but I don’t think the fact that a film did not meet your expectations can be considered one of them. First world problems, much? It gets better. Her lawyer and she are also bringing in the argument that the film is Anti-Semitic. According to the Huffington post, the lawsuit says that “Drive was a motion picture that substantially contained extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith, and thereby promoted criminal violence against members of the Jewish faith." Completely irrelevant to the lawsuit. The lawyer is claiming that there was an over use of Jewish stereotypes and that the characters were one dimensional. I’m Italian, how many producers and movie companies do I get to sue?

Also, they failed to mention that the main character, played by the magnificent god-amongst-men, Ryan Gosling, is also a psychopath in the film. His character was not Jewish. I find it funny how these details are the things that bothered her the most. It wasn’t the gruesome, graphic death of almost every character. She wasn’t bothered by the literal brain and blood splatter on the walls, Gosling smacking the bejeebers out of Christina Hendricks’ character, or the violence against the child in the film. Nope. She was upset because she didn’t get to see more “driving.” I’m not sure where she lives, but I’ve heard of this place that most cities or major towns have. It’s called downtown, and I hear that there are lots of four wheeled metal contraptions with motors that move along there. Get yourself one of those fancy beach chairs and you’re set! This isn’t the first lawsuit of this kind. People always sue studios because they were offended by the material in the film. Apparently people don’t know how to check ratings, and they also think the world revolves around them. While I think there are lines in film that should not be crossed, it is widely known that film is an objective form of art. What you see may not be what another person sees. What bothers me is that Drive was actually a good film, despite the gruesomeness. It was a well told story, and beautifully crafted. In the hand of the wrong director and crew, it could have been a catastrophe. If you haven’t seen it yet, you should. It was easily one of my favourites this year, with stellar acting by the whole cast, a great soundtrack and an interesting and thought-provoking plot that manages to get much across with very little script. To the lady suing and asking for a refund because she wanted more action, I say don’t refund her. I think they should really just give her a free pass to another movie, picked by the theatre of course. My suggestion: the second installment of The Human Centipede. I’m sure she’ll be perched on the edge of her seat with her lawyer by her side.

“Was Beaudelaire like a singer or something?” Some guy

“I’m not a fairy!” Hall Walker “It’ll be 11/11/11 again in ten years guys!” Chief Bitches At Writers Hiding his crooked eye.

the plant *sigh* the plant Apparently I’m a random person the plant No identity for me. the plant

photo credit: fanpop.com

CASANDRA DE MASI COLD pLAyER

EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: olivernacey@gmail.com

Guy 1: You like dubstep? I thought you had class. Guy 1: Nah, just at 4. Caf that is sometimes referred to by a derogatory name for one of the many denominations that populate it

photo credit: collider.com

Refn? That’s a name?

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

I slept with this guy who’s in a relationship and I’m afraid his girlfriend will find out.

voices

I’m afraid of getting into bondage in case I enjoy it too much and can’t enjoy regular sex. Help?


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 16

Confessions of a teenage granny Comrades

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

voices

16

Her hat is big.

NATHALIE LAFLAMME INTERNATIONAL NEWS/ CUp EDITOR

photo credit: 2.bp.blogspot.com

Halloween is just around the corner, so you have probably planned your costume and accessories by now. If you are a girl, the accessories probably cover more skin than the actual costume. To quote Mean Girls, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” Yeah well, I’m going to say something about it. I may be a girl, but I am also a granny, and grannies are allowed to say something. Whatever happened to what Halloween was really about? You know, looking scary or cute, and collecting candy from neighbours, becoming closer and more involved in your community? Grannies love that time of year. We always have our lights on, and we always have little bags of candy ready. When did someone decide that Halloween was not about that anymore, but instead, it would be about getting trashed at some filthy club while surrounded by girls wearing lingerie and bunny ears? Bad hipster. Isn’t the whole point of Halloween to pretend to be something, or someone else for a night? I’m sorry, but cats do not wear tutus, bras, and heels. Neither do mice, rabbits, or any other cute rodent. Their

fur is not pink either. Clearly, your costume has failed, because you are simply dressing like a slut, which you obviously already are. FAIL. The worst part is, this is not only happening in CEGEP and university, but in high school too. 14 year-old girls are dressing as Playboy bunnies and going to house parties. WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS? Do they know their little girls may get asked “how much for a night?” when walking to their parties? Soon, little girls in elementary school will be dressing up as Snooki, and little boys like Mike the Situation. Let’s just hope they don’t get trashed and/or hit their heads into walls. At least, if you are going to go out to a club and dress up, be original. If I see one more Super Girl, or one more Cat Woman, I will slap someone. Trust me, angry grannies are not a pretty sight. Guys, dressing up as girls is not original, its been done about a million times before. So has the Santa Clause costume, or the banana costume. You are not being funny, or original, you just look stupid. Anyway, just please be respectful to yourselves and others this weekend. Have fun though, I know I will. You can see my costume above. Enjoy.

EDITOR: Oliver Nacey CONTACT: olivernacey@gmail.com

Man of the Week

photo credit: william-ryan.com

We have guns.

Wawawiwa how you fucked up. What kind of shit are you trying to feed us, here at Supreme Soviet? “Oh he was caught in crossfire” you tell the world. That bullshit no fly with us, find better lie. He was in convoy being taken away to one of your crazy rebel orgies to be shown as trophy and somewhere during trip, bullet appears in crazy man’s head. We spent hours and hours teaching your men how to administer 9 grams of lead properly without anyone ever seeing the Colonel again, yet one of your 16 year old trigger-happy-camel-fucking soldiers decided to blow fuckers brains out. You have greatly disappoint us and we will catch you. We cannot let such mistakes slip. Here, in Soviet Union, we have most fabulous record of perfect assassinations. First there was Trotsky, we got to him before drug cartels got to Mehico. He scream like little bitch, this confused me so I ask “why do you scream? You are in desert...no one will hear”, and then sent him to hell with the rest of his Mensheviks. Then there was Beria, he was pig. So we took care of him like one. Died like prehotdog in slaughter house. He was like domovoi (little Russian devil), always terrorizing people and getting them into trouble. So we gave him trouble.

My hit of heart goes to time when we remove Osama Bin Laden. Yes, we did that. Americans only come in two minutes after we go and claim great success. Do not act so surprised...do you think we forgot the shit he did to us in Afghanistan? We, Russians, are not so forgiving...neither is gun to head. All of this was to say that you better run little rent-a-soldiers for we will get you. As of last night, we have sent our two best agents, Natalie Laflamski and Cassandra De Massivich, to find you. Run, and run fast, for they are like gazelle. Maybe next time you will remember to give person soviet pardon the right way and on the first try. If you act sloppy and fuck up, own up to it and don’t tell the world that cross fire hit only him in a car. Yours Sovietly, Commissar Anton Plakov

Musings

Bad Costumes

Best Horror Movies

Cellphone Charger The Strangers Pavement The Pacifier ROBIN DELLA CORTE STAFF WRITER

Name: Cousin Itt Program: Industrial Design, 106th Sem. Age: As old as you want me to be Hair & Eyes: Mood: Freakay Interested in: Oliver Nacey Now this special furball is a handful, ladies. In Itt’s free time, he enjoys conditioning, washing washing machines, drinking water out of towels and dancing naked. Cousin Itt likes cats, he feels as if they connect because they both get hairballs. “I like it freakay, I always let my fur run wild,” Cousin Itt emphasized. Cousin Itt listens to nothing but the Beatles because he wishes to one day become their

fifth member. Cousin Itt also enjoys pillow fights in a bath tub while washing his hair with Herbal Essences. Cousin Itt’s dream is to one day partake in a Herbal Essence’s commercial. Cousin Itt is looking for someone who will stroke is hair for hours on end and will lather his hair until it bubbles. He wants someone who has very, very, very, very hairy, has thick eyebrows, crawls on the floor, plays fetch well and who would call him “meh babay,” all day, every day. So Dawsonites, if you want to find Cousin Itt, you will find him getting freakay on the escalators at Dawson or dancing naked on the eighth floor. HAPPY HALLOWEEN DAWSON!

VHS Human Centipede Charlie Sheen The Exorcist Guy In Sweater Mars Attacks! Grass Stain A Walk To Remember Not Morgan Freeman Rec

the plant I’m a Kitty Cat. I’m a Kitty Cat. the plant And I dance, dance, dance, the plant And I dance, dance, dance. the plant


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 17

17 EDITOR: Samantha Mileto CONTACT: samantha.m_11@hotmail.com

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011 HOCKEY

Comeback Kids ALExANDRA ESCHWEILER STAFF WRITER

The Dawson Blues women’s hockey team beat the CEGEP St. Laurent Patriotes 3-2 in the shootout on Oct. 23 at Gadbois Arena. The Blues had started off the game slow. Patriotes’ Pascale Gagnon scored the first goal of the game within the first five minutes. The Blues played catch up the rest of the first period, which consisted of a lot of body checking. However, the Patriotes still held a 1-0 lead heading into the second frame. The Blues were able to tie the game up quickly into the second period. Four minutes in, the Blues’, Tracey-Ann scored their first goal, with the assist coming from, Jennifer Pouliot, evening the score at 1-1. The Blues couldn’t hold on to that momentum as Patriotes’ Sophia Racine scored her team’s second goal of the game, giving the Patriotes their second lead of the game. The second period ended with a score of 2-1. Once again, the Dawson Blues managed to tie the game at two, eight minutes into the third period. Blues’ forward Valerie Wade scored her first goal of the season, assisted by Alexandria D’Onofrio and

Rebecca Laganiere. “Our strategy was to go hard and to win every single battle, for these past two weeks we’ve been practicing battling [and today] it was about battling and having fun,” Blues defenseman Cassandra Poudrier said. After three periods, the game remained tied at 2-2, so overtime was needed. Five minutes of overtime solved nothing, so the teams headed for sudden death. Wade scored the game’s winning goal in the shootouts, as the Blues’ prevailed 3-2, winning their first game since Sept. 24. “Really, I just wanted them to relax and have some fun [because] they’ve been nervous and playing really tight and it’s been showing on the ice,” said coach Scott Lambton. “And [today], they did exactly what we’ve been practicing.” “We had to work together, [and] we are one of the most dedicated teams in the league,” said veteran goaltender Melanie Fournier. The players’ commitment to the game will continue to be tested during the next two games of the season, which Lambton claimed will be really tough as well. “Once they show me they can play like that, I’m going to expect them to [keep playing] like that,” Lambton said.

Upcoming Games: Friday, Oct. 28, 2011 Dawson vs Limoilou Arpidome 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 02, 2011 Dawson vs EdouardMontpetit Arena Emile-ButchBouchard 8:00 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 06, 2011 Dawson vs Lionel-Groulx College Lionel-Groulx 12:30 p.m. come on ref!!

photo credit: Victoria Eschweiler

Too little too late for Blues ABIGAIL DE BURGH GALWEY STAFF WRITER

The Dawson Blues’ AAA men’s basketball team lost 71-60 against College Ahuntsic last Friday at home due to a slow start that could not be recuperated, despite their strong comeback in the third quarter. By winning the jump ball, Ahuntsic was able to score a field goal within the first minute of the game. Ahuntsic and Blues players tripped over each other and lost control of the ball repeatedly, resulting in a clumsy start. An early foul committed by Ahuntsic enabled Dawson guard Cedric Sanago to score both free throws. Ahuntsic quickly replied and scored two field shots, giving them a 9-2 edge in the first three minutes of the game. With five fouls for Ahuntsic, and four fouls for Dawson, in addition to an accumulation of missed shots, Coach Wayne Yearwood called a time out at 6:44 to shake the team up. Yearwood exchanged Robinson for guard Inti Salinas at 3:07, who was able to score a field-goal before Ahuntsic banked in another two points at 3:00, making the

score 14-8 for Ahuntsic. Fighting hard for the ball, Caro passed to Sanago, who attempted a field shot that was intercepted by an Ahuntsic player, who scored and ended the first quarter by giving his team a lead. “We had a low intensity warm up,” forward Brian Ofori said. “We were all thinking about different things so we came out very soft and we got knocked around.” Seeing the gap widen 29-11 in the second quarter, Blues players gained focus and brought up the intensity defensively, which allowed Ofori to steal Ahuntsic’s rebound and glide across the court tobang in two points. “Coach started cussing, started yelling and got in our heads and said ‘you guys have to start placing yourselves, you gotta know what you want’ so we started pushing,” Ofori said. Dawson’s best play of the game came when Ofori took Ahuntsic’s rebound and made a long pass to guard Jay Fequiere, who in turn passed to Liam Menard who, despite being covered by two Ahuntsic players, jumped and managed to score two points at 2:43. “We got on a run and started doing what Coach was saying,” Menard said.

“Things started turning out for the best and we just kept going with it.” In addition to Robinson collecting two points off a free throw at 1:32, Goyette’s field-goal saw the Dawson Blues end the second quarter behind 37-22. After Ahuntsic got in two of two free throws, Caro took advantage of the open court and scored two points at 6 :35 The Blues were gaining momentum as Robinson kept his guard up and took Ahuntsic’s rebound to score a mid-field shot at 5 :25 that caused an enthusiastic reaction from the crowd, boosting the score up to 43-29. Another field goal from Robinson at 2:23 signalled a shift in the third quarter where the Blues team gained intensity “I got mad,” Ofori said. “I just started roughing everybody up [on the bench] and that’s when we all decided ‘ok, let’s go’ and one by one we all started pushing.” With less than two minutes before the end of the third quarter, Sanago scored two of three free throws, narrowing Ahunstic’s lead to 50-39. In the last 36 seconds of the quarter, Caro scored two points, followed by Robinson, who gained back possession of the ball and scored another two points

with 15 seconds remaining to the clock. With three seconds remaining, Caro ducked under his opponent and ended the third quarter with a dunk that saw Dawson five points behind, as Ahunstic lead 50-45. At 5:10, Robinson’s two points tied the game 52-52, giving hope for a Blues’ victory, but that’s as close as they would get. After Ahuntsic took a 61-55 lead, Robinson’s field-goal at 1:56 brought Dawson’s score up to 61-58 but was not enough as the Blues felt the pressure and committed sloppy mistakes that awarded Ahuntsic with unguarded shots that saw to their 71-60 win. “Honestly, I don’t know what happened,” Sean Humphrey said. “We just lost our concentration and composure which resulted in defeat.” “We got back up in the third quarter but [Ahuntsic] already had momentum going so it was hard to catch up,” Ofori said. “Of course were disappointed about the loss but overall we improved on a few things; our turnovers were a little bit lower and we battled the ball a lot better so hopefully as the season goes on we’ll continue to progress and not regress.”

the plant Congratz. the plant to the All Blacksthe plant for winning this year’s Rugby World Cup. the plant

BASKETBALL

Upcoming Games: Friday, Oct. 28, 2011 Dawson vs. Montmorency College Montmorency 9:00 p.m. Friday, Nov. 4, 2011 Dawson vs. John Abbott Dawson College 9:00 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 6, 2011 Dawson vs. Vanier Dawson College 3:00 p.m.


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 18

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

sports

18

MEN

Rucking up Undefeated the standings Blues silence Cougars

photo credit: Brenden Di Vittori

leap frog

CHELSEA HARRISSON SENIOR WRITER

EDITOR: Samantha Mileto CONTACT: samantha.m_11@hotmail.com

WOMEN

After losing 24-8 against John Abbott in early Sept., the Dawson Blues have been on a winning spree, including last Sunday’s 30-5 win against the Collège Jean-deBrébeuf Béliers. Scheduled for a 2 p.m. start, Dawson’s Sunday game debuted at 2:30, in full force. Though Dawson was playing well, there were issues with the team when they reached the offensive end. On numerous occasions the ball was dropped, but finally, more than 40 minutes into the game, the Béliers scored the first try of the game. The Blues retaliated, however, leaving the score for half time 14-5 for Dawson College. Once half time started, the athletic therapy for the Beliers had to make their way across the field to tend to a player from Jean-du-Brébeuf. He had suffered a concussion as well as a neck injury, which led to the arrival of an ambulance, delaying the game for an estimated 20 minutes. Once half time had finished, Dawson

mommmyyyyyy!!

went right back to dominating the field. A few minutes after the game restarted, they had increased the score to 19-5 and then to 24-5. Once again, the Blues proved they were the stronger team as they eventually widened the scoring gap by 25 and took a comfortable 30-5 lead. With the win out of reach, the substitutes were called in for Dawson College, but not for Jean-de-Brébeuf. After a small brawl that lead to two red cards, Dawson celebrated a well controlled and warranted win. “We didn’t play as well as we could have, but we won,” Robert Ahnert, head coach of the Dawson Blues said. “The weather dictates the state of the field, but we’re happy to have the win.” Ahnert also pointed out the strong play from Leonidas Augoustis and Ryan Eichler to help the Blues earn their fourth consecutive win, and move into second place in the standings, four points behind John Abbott College.

photo credit: Brenden Di Vittori

Upcoming Game:

Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011 Dawson vs. Vanier Vanier College 1:30 p.m.

Sorry, that’s mine

BRENDEN DI VITTORI STAFF WRITER

The Dawson Women’s rugby team delivered another convincing win against the Lennoxville Cougars on Oct. 23, as the undefeated Blues sent the Cougars packing with a decisive 66-5 win. The story of the first was a 23-0 lead for Dawson’s women, but that clearly was not good enough because although Dawson started off calm and collected, it was really the second half where the Blues decided to leave Lennoxville in the dust. The beginning of the second began with a clinic being put on by Dawson, showing a near perfect defense against the hard hitting Cougars, keeping the Cougars caged within their own 22. Lennoxville tried to break through the blue line with slow ball after slow ball, but Dawson’s forwards kept their composure and staved off attack after attack giving little or no ground. The Blues’ deadly backs then gave the Cougars a taste of their potent offense, this time relying on their handling skills to get the ball out wide in a flash, and scoring their second try of the half. Traffic was going one way at this point, and Dawson kept pushing, first relying on brute force then mixing it up right at the perfect moment and using dazzling handling skills to get the ball out wide for lightning quick runs. However, no one seemed to have told Lennoxville what the score was, as they never gave up and delivered hit after hit in an attempt to stop the Blues flood. But Dawson was simply too hot to handle for them. The brains behind the brawn was once again evident amongst the Blues as they made their opponents pay for every mis-

Upcoming Game:

photo credit: Brenden Di Vittori

take, and after creating a turnover, and winning an important Lennoxville scrum, the Blues scored their third try of the half with a great second effort from the forwards. The Blues seemed to create something from nothing and turn a simple Lennoxville possession into a steal and a score, resulting in their fourth try of the half. But one must give credit where credit is due, Lennoxville never gave up, and kept working hard eventually resulting a break through the Blue line and a good run to score their first and only try of the game. The Blues then turned it up to eleven, and smoked the Cougar defense with pure speed, resulting in their fifth and sixth tries of the half. Letting one try slip by them was not good enough, joked fullback Nicole Drummond. “As a team we can still bring it together on defense especially after turnovers.” Despite the Blues’ undefeated record, the players refused to let that go to their heads, and the team still plans on taking it one day at a time. “We don’t focus on expectations, and we don’t take any game for granted. We still take it game by game, and we still have areas we can improve,” Drummond, who is one of the usual suspects on Dawson’s list of try scorers, said. Drummond credited Dawson’s high ability to turn the ball over, their deadly speed and communication. But the undefeated Blues are no strangers to being physically humiliated, so Drummond also gave credit to their physically strong opponents for a hard fought game, even after the game was out of reach. “They are definitely one of the more physically strong opponents we have played this season.”

Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011 Dawson vs. Vanier Vanier College 12:00 p.m.

the plant Too bad Oliver can’t write about it in Around the Leagues the plant Sorry Oliver, no space. the plant Blame K-arl. the plant


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 19

19 EDITOR: Maricar-Kristine Montes CONTACT: maricarkmontes@gmail.com

VOL. 40 ISSUE 7 - Thursday, October 27, 2011

SUDOKU Submit lame facebook statuses, ridiculous tweets, just things you make you laugh or go “WTF” that you’d like to see in my section. Don’t be shy, just e-mail maricarkmontes@gmail.com :D

the plant IM NAKED, IM NUMB. I’M STUPID, IM STAYING. the plant People need to stop sucking. the plant Love me or hate me, still an obsession.the plant


The No Touchie Master3:The Master 11-10-26 10:22 PM Page 20

The Plant Volume 40 Issue 7  

Braiiins since 1969

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