The New Smoker Magazine issue: No.7

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The New Smoker Magazine Issue No.7 April 2017 Soren Gray

Dr. Frank Keira Fae Luca Belloiu Frank Lauria Elly Prothero Daniel Freedman Clark Greene Chef Tiffany Friedman Dyson Bronti John Hibey Larry Snelly Grayson Ward Zoe Wilder - MERRY JANE Ben Parker Karris KINDLAND

All contents © 2017 The New Smoker, LLC. The New Smoker has nothing to do with tobacco or any of it’s related products. The New Smoker magazine is published and distributed by The New Smoker does not condone or endorse any illegal use of any products or services advertised herein. All materials are for educational purposes only. The New Smoker recommends consulting an attorney before considering any business decision or venture. We take no responsibility for the actions of our readers. A number of characters and images appearing in this magazine are parody, satirical or fictitious. Any resemblance to any persons, living, created, or dead, is purely coincidental.




CANNABIS: INGEST OR INHALE? Not All Methods Are Equal HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM EEE!! - An “Extreme Edibles Experience”


THE SCIENCE OF EDIBLES ...So Far SPACE QUEEN A Sci-Fi Strain Review SOT DOWN A Post-Apocalyptic Love Story

12. 15.



WOMEN ELEVATING WEED 31. The Female Faces Who Are Taking Cannabis To The Next Level HELL IS IN THE CLOUDS EEE!! - Another “Extreme Edible Experience”


PETIBLES: EDIBLES FOR PETS Can Cannabis Be Good For Cats & Canines?


MICRODOSING MARIJUANA Tiny Doses That Might Save Your Life


CHEF TIFF’S RECIPES Spring Recipes From Chef Tiffany Friedman


FRANK TALES - TANGIER CANDY Moroccan Majoun Might Make Moonlight Madness


HIGH DOSES How One Man Can Consume 600mgs A Day (that’s a lot)


EDIBLE REVIEWS We Used “Science” To See If All Edibles Are Equal


COOKIE CRISP EEE!! Yet Another “Extreme Edibles Experience”


I ATE AN ENTIRELY ‘MEDICATED MEAL’ AND DIDN’T DIE Not All Safe Experiments Are Fun 88. 2


Notes from a New Smoker Welcome to the seventh issue of The New Smoker magazine:

All About Edibles


dibles get a bad rap.

veryone has an EEE!! story -an “Extreme Edible Experience”. If not you, then your college roommate, or girlfriend, or that one dude at that warehouse party crying in the corner. Everyone knows someone who’s taken a bit too much brownie and fallen down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.


here’s an infamous recorded call of an off duty policeman calling 911 after eating some confiscated cannabis cookies, freaking out because he swears he and his wife are dead and need help to come back down to the land of the living. Classic mistake. Taking too much of unknown dosage. (Also: instant karma’s a bitch, guy!)


t’s true sometimes too much of an edible can feel like that; a bad trip through the valley of death. But you can’t overdose and die on an edibles, as much as it may feel so. And this is a very important distinction between cannabis and any other drug, including alcohol.


ven those highly trained in the ways of cannabis consumption can have freak-outs on edibles. As yummy treat-like as they may seem, they are not a toy. Edibles must be taken seriously and respected, or one will suffer the consequences.

always make edibles like moonshine when it’s illegal to make responsibly. And that can only lead to irresponsible doses. It’s better to have them lab-tested and packaged properly, than released wild and unregulated into the mouths of the uninformed and unaware.





ut just because something is easily overdone, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. Just look at most Americans on their 21st birthday, drinking until they puke like it’s a proud rite of passage. It’s not healthy, it’s not that fun. But it doesn’t mean alcohol is the problem. The way one consumes alcohol is the problem. The same goes for edibles. hen done correctly, they can be one of the best highs going. Long, deep, and soothing. Like an herbal vicodin: the happy hug from inside! Not to mention, probably the healthiest way to consume cannabis.


his is why it’s so important to have the proper labeling that legalizing cannabis brings: it helps prevent overdosing. People will

here are also those who depend on medical cannabis for their health and well being. Some patients can’t inhale their medicine and need to ingest it in other ways than smoking or vaping. Without proper doses, these patients could easily overdose and waste hours bad tripping through the double dose to get to the health benefits they needed in the first place. dibles may seem scary to some, but often they are the best way to receive the many benefits cannabis has to offer. Just take a bite and take it slow, and it will take you to bliss and back.

-S.G. Clarke





These 10 top tips are important to remember whether you are a first time edible taker, or it’s your hundred & first time. Edibles are fun, but they are not a toy. Used correctly and responsibly they can be quite wonderful and therapeutic. Used rashly and incorrectly they can be your worst nightmare. Here’s how to do it right:

1. Know Your Dose. If you’re a first timer, start with 5mg, then try 10 next time. Daily Smoker: 10 - 20mgs, Daily Eater: 40mgs+

2. Follow Directions. Read packaging. Most quality edibles will have

directions and warnings on packaging. Heed these. If unsure, ask your budtender for advice.

3. Don’t Know, Don’t Eat. If it’s an unknown edible, don’t eat it. Or eat very little to start until you can gauge it.

4. Start Small. You can always eat more, you can never eat less. 5. Eat Before Eating. Take on light stomach. Not too empty, not too full. 6.

Be Patient. Wait at least an hour before wondering if it’s working. Look at the clock when you take it, then check back in an hour and see how you’re feeling before taking more, Don’t listen to the greedy inner voice shouting “I want more now!”. Wait for it.

7. Make Space. Give yourself space, physically

and mentally, to enjoy your edible. The best trips are in good places with good people, good music helps too.

8. Don’t Panic! If you feel overwhelmed like you took too much, breathe

deeply, calmly, and remember you won’t die, though it might feel like it... it’s practically impossible to die from being too high on cannabis. You’ll be fine in time. Wait it out. Don’t fight it, enjoy it. Breathe...


Eat To Come Down. Eat good hearty food to come down. Bread, cheese, chips, cake…etc. (Except with tincture it may increase high as it helps absorb it into the system)

10. Be Smart. Don’t over do it. Understand that you might get too high, and that’s ok. Don’t fear the high. You can create your own good or bad trip if it gets overwhelming. Think calm, happy thoughts... and breathe.


W W W. B I N G B A N G N Y C . C O M


by Keira Fae


Ingest or Inhale? W

hy are the effects of ingesting cannabis so much stronger than inhaling?”

It’s a common question I’ve come across while working as a budtender, or catering various cannabis events. The short answer would be the difference between inhaling (smoking or vaping) and ingesting (eating or drinking) is when eating a cannabis 9

infused product the THC molecule goes through the metabolic process. Not so, when inhaling. This is why the effects set in slower, later, but will last longer, and for most people is more intense. When inhaling, the high hits faster and diminishes quicker as the THC goes straight to the brain and isn’t metabolized by the liver.


THC is Absorbed Differently: When ingesting an edible, the THC molecule is processed differently than it is via inhalation. The edible is metabolized by the liver, which will convert delta-9 THC to another compound called 11-hydroxy-THC. This compound passes through the blood brain barrier easily, more rapidly, and is significantly more psychoactive. Inhaling cannabis doesn’t convert delta-9 THC to 11-hydroxy-THC, because it isn’t metabolized by the liver. Instead, the THC is absorbed into your blood plasma and goes straight to your brain resulting in a quicker onset, but shorter lived, high. Dosing and Duration: For some, edibles are intimidating. And if not properly dosed, the first experience can be an uncomfortable one. Dosing seems to be the last puzzle piece for a person to figure out, as each individual reacts differently to the same amount of THC. The most effective way to find your ideal dose is to start low and go slow. For beginners, it is recommended to start with 5 to 10mg of THC, then wait at least an hour to gauge the effects. If you feel you need more, consume 5 to 10mg more, wait another hour or two, repeat as needed until you reach the desired effect. Edibles are a healthy alternative for those looking for long-lasting pain relief, you won’t need to medicate as often, and the effects can last up to 6-10 hours depending on how much is consumed. When it comes to inhaling, it is much easier to regulate the

amount of THC going through your system. Just start with a couple puffs and go from there. I always recommend before consuming an edible, take into consideration what you have eaten prior. If you are consuming on an empty stomach, the edible with set in faster and the high will be much more intense compared to eating on a full stomach. What to do if you do too much? Here are a few ways to counteract too much THC if the edible you took is kicking in way too hard: 1. Keep Calm- Remember that everything is going to be alright. Find a quiet place to relax and ride it out. 2. Smell or chew on a few pepper-

corns. Your paranoia will lighten. Cannabis is full of terpenes, one particular terpene, beta-caryophyllene is said to instantly ease paranoia. Beta-caryophyllene is not only found in cannabis, but also is responsible for the spiciness in blackpepper/peppercorns. 3. Have some CBD on hand. CBD is perfect to balance and soften the euphoric feelings brought on by THC. Best to have CBD in tincture or inhaling form. You will want the effects to act quickly. 4. Eat something. Diluting the edible with food can help decrease the high. Just remember to start small and go slow and you should be just fine… and might even have the best experience of your life.

hollow sculptural smoking vessels 10






had not eaten much all day as I wanted to get the full experience of this THC brownie I was about to consume. Turned out I could have had Thanksgiving Day dinner and I still would have been propelled into a newly discovered dimension just outside of our own in what I discovered to be a sort of stoner Valhalla.

t started out like most Iwhich adventures gone awry is to say a whol-

ly mismanaged planning phase. I was under the wrong impression that this particular brownie, the 4.20 Classic 250 MG Brownie, was of low dosage so if I were to eat just less than half of it I would enjoy a good high but not turn into the space child from 2001 Space Odyssey. (Note: I went to Summer school for math not once, not twice but thrice growing up).

imagine many people Ienced who are more experithan I when it comes

to the fine art of edible consumption are snarkily laughing at me while stroking their Persian cat and smoking their joint inside “cigarette” extender. I accept that. Yet there are some of you out there who are nodding along reading this and shuddering as if I had brought up the Tet Offensive and transported you back to ‘Nam. I offer you solidarity.

By Luca Belloiu

lmost immediately af- rible luck would have it a ed to gain control of my A ter consuming what large brick wall just gives life again. I put the Food was a lil’ less than half the way and consumes the un- Network back on and peobrownie with a nice glass of almond milk, poured inside my favorite Dateline mug (listening to Keith Morrison stoned is something I cannot quite recommend enough) I did a little more investigating. Keep in mind this is tantamount to shooting first and asking questions later. I had already eaten the Costco sized helping of brownie so I’m not sure what I was looking for. Absolution? Validation? Forgiveness? Where I was headed none of those things would help me.

witting pedestrian. This is an accurate depiction of what happened to me after about 50 minutes of whistling Dixie and checking my bird clock. The next half hour felt like a wrestling match where I desperately tried to hold onto my couch so that it would not float away like the old man’s house in the hit Pixar movie “Up”. I was also trying to control my heart rate to no avail.

decided to put on the Isome Food Network but then inexplicable show

where Guy Fieri is trying to find the best place to get a heart attack in America came on and it made things worse so I turned off the television and started negotiating with my Ottoman. Just then the sprinkler system came on in the front and it should be noted that the sprinkler system had been malfunctioning of late which resulted in more of a geyser that rained down on my roof for minutes at a time. Such was the case now at the most inopportune of moments. Me couchlocked while an artificial downpour assaulted the front patio directly behind here is a distressing me. I felt like Shelly Winvideo going around on ters in The Poseidon Adthe internet of this normal venture. everyday guy going about his business somewhere t would be a solid two in China. He is walking hours before I took down a street and as hor- back the reigns and start-


hen I looked at the bottom of the package I noticed a rather distressing numerical figure in parenthesis. It read 100 g. I then looked up at my Audubon Society bird clock (the kind that makes a distinct bird sound on every hour) and the small hand hit 7pm. The sound of the Carolina Wren echoed throughout the house and it was at that time I had pantomimed putting on an invisible seatbelt and cleared my calendar for the night. This was no less a harbinger for a gathering storm.



ple were having either a cake war, a cupcake war or some sort of confectionary related skirmish. I got hungry so I walked over to the kitchen in the same way someone would try to walk while riding inside the Gravitron. I think I had made myself a “convenience sandwich” which is to say, put anything on bread that is within convenient arm’s reach and do it quick because you need to get back on that couch before your soul betrays you and leaves behind your skin vessel thereby rendering a permanent fugue state.

took no less Imytthanprobably 3 minutes to make sandwich but edibles

has a funny way of tinkering with time so it felt more like 17 years or an epoch if you will. When I made it back to the couch the malfunctioning sprinkler had stopped and the bird clock hit midnight which meant the Summer Tanager was calling out to the moonlit sky.

these as signs that Ithattook things would be ok and space camp was al-

most over. I closed my eyes and an electric light show ensued. Another world wrapped inside an imagined one, taking place in a real one which may or may not be surveilled by the truest world we are yet 12


to see. Like a perfect celestial burrito. hen I awoke the W next morning, bits of “convenience sandwich”

was strewn throughout the floor and I still felt residuals from last night’s ill administered brownie. It was 8am, the song of the Eastern Bluebird reminded me of this. I put on some shoes and went outside to fix my sprinkler system. This was either an act of contrition or an opening salvo in edible proofing my house. I am still not sure.



Written by DR. FRANK



The Science of Edibles far.


et me start by prefacing that at the moment, nobody knows precisely how and why cannabis works for so many conditions. Yes, there is lots of observable, empirical data out there, as well as lab experiments mostly with mice; but due to legal restrictions and the vast amount of variables to consider, getting definitive analytical evidence has proven to be extremely difficult so far. One such variable - the focus of this piece - is the method of consumption. Many people choose edibles due to the fact that they feel smoking cannabis could be potentially detrimental to their health. Many are also worried about secondhand smoke being breathed in or noticed by others. These reasons are partly why vaporizers were developed. Concerning edibles specifically, there is no evidence so far confirming that it is safer or better health-wise than other consumption methods. Another reason why some people prefer edibles is because it provides a stronger effect over a longer period of time with smaller amounts of cannabis. This is because THC is metabolized by the liver, converted to 11-hydroxy-THC, and then onto the CB1 receptors in the brain. While this also means it takes longer for the cannabis to take effect (around 45 mins - 2 hours), edibles can prove very useful for those look-

ing for long-term relief from pain and muscle spasms. There are problems with edibles, however. There are more than enough stories of people eating more than they can handle and having an intense experience, perhaps even ending in a trip to the emergency room. There can also be huge disparities between one batch of edibles and another, even if they are labeled as having the same amount of THC or CBD in them. This is an area of cannabis that still requires some sort of oversight. Also, though there isn’t any specific evidence for this idea, one could also say that the strength of edibles may increase the chances of developing cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome over time in those who are susceptible to it. This syndrome is characterized by recurrent nausea, vomiting and abdominal pain due to long-term and extensive (usually daily) use of cannabis. The syndrome stops once cannabis use stops (or is at the least dramatically reduced for those in desperate need). Hot baths can provide temporary relief of symptoms. For this reason, I would generally recommend people who are interested in edibles to microdose. Taking too little will not likely harm you, unless you have an allergy or intolerance to cannabis. We do not know 16


if edibles increase the likelihood of cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome for sure, but it makes sense to measure dosage and intake properly to reduce the likelihood of developing such a condition.


Another potential concern with cannabis butters and oils is the potential for non-THC cannabinoids to be lost during the process of making said butter or oil. This can be avoided by using whole-plant extraction methods, although many people find the herbal flavor of cannabis to be unpalatable. The flavor can be covered up either by using other

As you can see, a lot of the negatives surrounding cannabis are driven from not being able control dosage as easily. I would always recommend people to make their own edibles with small amounts of cannabis. As with all food products, regardless of labelling, quality and ingredients can vary from pack to pack.


A low-and-slow cooking method can be used to “leach out” all the cannabinoids properly and prevent high heat from destroying them.

There are a handful of great cooks working with edibles. Cannabis Cheri , for example, provides cookery classes and lots of advice on how to measure dosage and estimating THC percentages when using cannabis as an ingredient. Following the advice of cooks like Cheri can be very beneficial for those starting with edibles. Trusted cannabis cooks, such as the team at Sous Weed, occasionally host a cannabis supper-club, bringing together the sophistication of a dinner party with the herbal benefits of marijuana. Whilst

we wouldn’t advise this sort of activity for beginners, if hosted by professional experts like the Sous Weed team, this can be a great way to experience edibles in a gourmet, sociable setting. It’s certainly a date or party night you won’t forget! We have mentioned a couple of positives and negatives surrounding edible cannabis. There are actually several other positives I’d like to mention. The stronger effects can mean money saved. There is also another potential health benefit of using cannabis flowers to cook with: the addition of other canna-


binoids and terpenes and taking full advantage of what they can provide, as long as the proper methods and cooking techniques are used. Concentrates like wax and oil are often stripped of cannabinoids like cannabichromene (CBC), limonene, pinene and so on. Yes, there are cannabidiol (CBD) concentrates, and some do reintroduce other terpenes and the like into their oils. However, I cannot help but feel that using well-grown, well-cured flowers in your cooking is the ideal way to get the best out of the “entourage effect”.

ally, people have reported that ‘ edibles offer a “high” that is calmer and more relaxing than smoking cannabis ’. This could be because the other cannabinoids and terpenoids (e.g. CBD) are providing a “buffer” to the anxiety-inducing effects of THC, as well as imparting their own specific effects. Eaten cannabis also tends to leave people less “burned out” due to the gradual de-escalation of effects, rather than a sudden stop approximately one to three hours after smoking or vaping. We should not just focus on cannabinoids and terpenoids when it comes to cannabis’s effects, though. We must also look at the endocannabinoid system (ECS), which is unique to each and every individual. This means that different strains and amounts of THC/CBD will have different effects on different people. For example, one person may find a strain with 21% THC just fine, while another will find it overwhelming.

There is also the argument that, if cooked at the right temperature and decarboxylated properly, edibles retain most of their cannabinoids and terpenes. Smoking cannabis, while great for immediate effect, is not necessarily the most efficient way of utilizing cannabinoids and terpenes. Vaporizing cannabis, although it is an efficient way of getting the cannabinoids and terpenoids you want, is not necessarily suitable for ev- Could it also be argued eryone. that the method of consumption has an impact That edibles retain can- on the way the ECS treats nabinoids and terpenes and takes in phytocanwhen whole plant extracts nabinoids (cannabinoids are used could be of the coming into the body from reasons why eating canna- outside sources)? Well, we bis can have such different know that ingesting caneffects in comparison to nabis tends to have stronother methods. Anecdot- ger effects, so yes it does.

However, we must also take into account that, for some people, eating or vaping cannabis may not work. Though not exactly common, some people report edibles and vapes as having little or no effect, whereas smoking does. The only reason I can think of why this happens is the simple “everyone’s constitution - or metabolism - is different.” One potential reason why eating cannabis has such different effects to other consumption methods is because edibles could be utilising both the CB1 and CB2 receptors differently. CB1 receptors are found mostly in the brain, but also the kidneys, liver and other sites around the body, and could be the main receptor responsible for cannabis’s psychoactive effects as well as regulating liver function. CB2 receptors are mainly expressed in the immune system’s T-cells, which could be responsible for cannabis’s pain and anxiety-relieving effects. THC is thought to be processed mostly by the CB1 receptors, whilst CBD is thought to work mostly on CB2 receptors. As the cannabis is digested, could it be having a more “direct” impact on the CB1 receptors in the digestive system and brain, even if it takes a little longer to get there than vaping or smoking? Is in-

gesting cannabis also allowing the CBD and other cannabinoids to work more efficiently when in the bloodstream via the CB2 receptors? Alas, nobody knows for sure, but it could be something worth thinking about when looking at the medical effects of edibles. There are a number of other factors to take into account when looking at the effects of edibles on individuals, including: the person’s weight, eating habits, whether or not it was consumed on a full stomach and gender (women tend to have more fat in their bodies, meaning THC sticks around in the body for longer). Other medications may also interfere with cannabis, so always be sure to ask a doctor if you’re worried about any negative reactions with other medications you are taking. To reiterate: there isn’t enough evidence out there at the moment looking at the medical efficacy of cannabis edibles specifically. This is starting to change somewhat as cannabis becomes legalized and more scientific research gets published and easier to carry out. In the meantime, though, we mostly have some empirical research, reasonable supposition, logic and attempting to “join the dots” between different 18

research papers. Until we have federally legalized cannabis and some regulatory oversight by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), it will be difficult to truly say precisely what the positives and negatives of cannabis edibles are.


influence of cannabis.



fects from it.

Split high doses into small chunks, even if you’ve taken the same dosage from the same producer as before - you can never tell the precise power. Also, people’s tolerance to cannabinoids may fluctuate day-to-day we do not know the precise Here are my suggestions science yet. for those interested in edible cannabis: Make your own edibles wherever possible, and Microdose - you can utilize expert knowledge always take more if need- and take cannabis cookery ed; you can’t take less. classes wherever possible. This will ensure you get the Start off with a small dosage and effect you are dosage - around 10 mg looking for, as well as getTHC - and wait about an ting the chance to socialize hour to see the effects. and learn a valuable skill. Treat CBD similarly, even though most people Do not drink alcohol or don’t get psychoactive ef- ingest painkillers under the

. .


. .


due to a sudden drop in blood pressure) - this is esPlease remember that, pecially the case with ediwhen ingested, even small bles, as they are stronger. amounts of cannabis can be powerful. The effects of overindulgence can be prevented It may be best to avoid or overcome by: removing smoking or vaping too yourself from the environmuch before eating canna- ment (usually a hot and bis - you don’t want to go humid one, where fainting overboard. is more likely); drinking water and keeping hydratEdibles are longer-last- ed; eating properly (drops ing and discreet - great in blood sugar may also if you’re out in public cause fainting); and restand out and about doing ing. things, as well as treating pain. Thanks for reading, and check out doctorfrank. Though you can’t com if you’re in need of “overdose” on cannabis a recommendation and per se, you can “overin- want to take advantage of dulge” (i.e. “going green” the amazing - sometimes or “whiteying” - feeling gourmet - cannabis edibles dizzy, nauseous and faint, on offer today.



About The Doctor: Five years ago, Dr. Frank became fascinated with the science of cannabis and its success in relieving medical conditions such as depression and head trauma. He began to explore the possibilities of marijuana as medicine. After 30 years of treating and operating on patients, many of whom would never find relief from their chronic pain, Dr. Frank decided to dedicate his practice to helping patients through medical cannabis. His practice now counsels patients all over the country, daily, on the use of marijuana to manage pain. He has become a passionate advocate, seeing first hand how patients have got their lives back after turning to medical cannabis, often as a last resort.



SPACE QUEEN A Sci-Fi Strain Review by Dyson Bronti


hen ex-Confederate Captain John Carter transported his body-spirit to Mars from an Arizona desert cave in the late 1800s, little did he know he would fall in love with a Martian Princess and spend lifetimes floating in between worlds.

This is the sensation one gets puffing on a Navajo peace pipe full of fresh cured nawak’osis; the “sacred weed”... one feels love and weightlessness. Smoking what John Carter might have referred to his love, his Space Queen, one feels like one can float from this world to the next in a breath, and land on the red planet, leaping large and long like there’s barely any gravity weighing you down. Maybe this is how John Carter transported his spirit-self to Barsoom (native for Mars). Is this how his was able to live out years loving, fighting, flying on a distant world while his body lay resting on earth? Smoking the scared weed? We may never know. What we do know is Space Queen is a heavenly hybrid, like the child of Carter and his interplanetary princess, born of the star-crossed strains Romulan and fairy-taled Cinderella ‘99. Space Queen’s sativa-dominant, intense psychedelic buzz just might transport the puff-partaker to the inner reaches of the solar system, where green creatures with four arms and spears might want you to jump over building-sized boulders in a single bound on to passing giant flying sail-ships to save the Princess and the day. Or at least your spirit will fly as free and boundless as interstellar love.

(Go to to find this strain nearest you. State laws apply)




SOUNDTRACK TO THIS STORY ONLINE: - Listen while reading!




To the sand eaters, we won’t have you tumbling into our duggendomes with your nillywigh float’n’scroat and tramping in Our’ways, night or digh, noon or non, for the Punishments you shall be sure. Green Be, said the cracked and swollen sign outside of a dark hole with no bottom in sight.


uous coursing scream from the heavens) dashed any construction and left dunes in its path. So dug down they did, deep into the ground building within the Home of the Hills, and all interaction with the outside world slowly disappeared.

His people made maps before the droughts, before the lands dried up and soil turned from black to brown to tan to sand, and the last of his line above ground, he continued to map an endlessly shifting landscape that changed contour with every moment. For whom, he wasn’t sure, but he did it anyway.

Besides Linkin, there were a few others that could not stomach life under the hills. The smell of the dugouts was terrible, the echoing of the nightwind pierced their ears, and to them, sleep inside resembled death in a grave. They would stay up all night huddled together in the face of the wind, interlocked arms and legs as a block, and sleep a bit once the Sun burnt off the night wind. They were a resilient people, of whom Linkin called himself one, beaten down by wind, which howled in their ears and burnt their skin, and were tortured by the Sun’s heat of the day. But they were proud. They weren’t no Gravers, mudstuck, dirtstank sleepers in tunnels. No, they were the WindBlown.

his looks to be an old one,” muttered Linkin, who scribbled a five point shape beside an arc into his notebook and looked out across the rolling sand hills. He was a 12th generation mapmaker, he told all he met, a traveler marking the odds and ends found in the endless earth that was now a sand box, a dust blown forever, the Home of the Hills.

Linkin sat next to the sign and stared up at the sky, searching for early evening stars. His cheeks were a shade darker and his beard a shade lighter from all his studies of the many faced sky, but it was a fascinating find for Linkin, and he wanted to map it perfectly, and only the sky could provide a mark. The sign itself had languages no Graver now spoke, but it was certainly written by one, maybe 5 generations ago, he speculated. Only a Graver would be protective of a dark hole; it was all they had. Holes, tunnels, pathways, entryways, crude dugouts - a life most dank eked out in a state of continuous toil. Linkin considered jumping down into the hole but the last time, he was cornered by some snarling Gravers. He held no ill will for them, as they were once the same; he had family who turned Graver and no doubt gave birth to more, but time underground changes a body, clouds their mind, their speech, their sense of well-doing. The thought frightened him, not to mention the smell. It reminded him of burnt and decaying blood beetle. It wasn’t their fault though. Most began to sleep underground to avoid the whipping wind, “the roaring night demon, MouthFrother,” they called it. While many tried to build upward, the wind (that contin-

“The WindBlown, survivors of the night. The WindBlown, windfliers, coasters, talers, and talkers. The WindBlown, changers, freelifers, makers of wind,” they would sing. “This spot is of historic import,” Linkin declared to no one in particular, “because it shows what we were and what we are.” Linkin was proud of his position within the WindBlown, and would take stock of their aboveground world, and upon his return tell his friends of the artifacts he found, where the sun made it hottest and unbearable, where the dunes collided and formed two smiling faces, and where your voice could travel and echo back to you time and time again. They’d be able to find these places and more if they ever read his maps.


ut many ceased to care after the retreat of the Green. It was a vast stretch of sandy nothing to them. And often the WindBlown would curse their life above ground, most despairingly, because Green was no longer in sight in the Home of the Hills. 24



reen once covered the Home of the Hills, from end to end. It was their inspiration, their livelihoods, the fabric of their homes. After the retreat of the Green, they remembered Green. Remembered it in their mind, in their nose, in their palms, in their face so radiant, longing for anything besides the dry and coarse grains of sand that permeated every crag and cranny of their existence. Talked of Green often. Soon though, Gravers and WindBlown lost their sense for all things Green. Green became a different word, as did grass, as did life. Green became an expression like hello, or beautiful, an approval, or an admission of the heart. It no longer conjured images of things green, but rather images of objects not the color green, but green felt. Green became everything, and Green was all, but it wasn’t natureborn green, just a word. The absence of Green made a pitiable soul of Gravers and WindBlown alike.

Linkin unraveled the leather ties around his pants and boots, and unrolled the flaps covering his feet. He stuffed his notebook inside and tied them back up. He was considering a little lie down before the wind picked up, and took a stretch and a yawn and a whelp, when out from the hole popped a sandy head, saying, “Greeheeheeheehreen, sir.”

Linkin peered over the hole and sniffed. Spleeny, he thought, and lamented the Gravers poor fate. He was old enough to know some Gravers before they lost their hearing. The ghastly screeching in the tunnels made soft puddley edges of their ear drums. And then their vocabulary decreased. As a mapmaker he tried to stay in touch with the new world being built underground, but the Gravers lost their words, until finally they only spoke of Green. The speech between them was the talk of Green, a short, staccato conversation that Linkin never caught ahold, gruntal, humpal, a dissection of Green, or a rephrasing of Green, greehareheneenaannéereenan. All utterances for the purpose of toil, more digging, more alleyways, deeper underground dugouts, digging to flee the screeching of the wind, day and night, and then digging because that’s all there was to do.

They were both coughing. “Thomdun, come on!” Linkin exclaimed.

‘Green’ had gone full circle, from a living breathing object in life, to a memory, to a joyous expression, to a currency for work, a transactional utterance devoid of feeling with no relation to natural green life. Before long the Gravers never left their dugout maze, their everything samesafe, and slowly the WindBlown retreated from all interaction with the Gravers, and despised the simplicity of the word Green and all of its kind, forgetting that Green was once real. 25

Linkin started with a hop and jumped to his feet. “Thomdun, you scared the sand out of me!” A cloud of sand billowed around his head, a halo in this diminishing light. Thomdun immediately reached for Linkin’s beard and embraced him into his arms. He was slapping his back, which clouded more sand and dust into the air, and pawed at Linkin’s beard, saying, “Karto, Karto,” a name he had for Linkin.

“Excited to seen you, maker of maps,” Thomdun said. Thomdun was always excited to see anyone. He was one of the only WindBlown who passed between Gravers during the day, and no one seemed to mind. He had an open mouthed laughter, that crossed all barriers of type and kind, and could befriend a sand wall if need be. He was only ever embarrassed when he introduced himself anew to those he already met. He’d go dead quiet until someone yanked on his beard, and he’d feel comfortable again. He had a wonderful smile and so he was well known and remembered. But for the life of Linkin, he had no idea how Thomdun handled the underground smell. “What do we do here,” Thomdun asked. “If you must know, I was to sleep a bit, fore I join the others.” “No time. Swoopswoop, down it comes,” Thomdun said, referring to the wind. “Yes, you’re righten.” And they set off to meet the others, as the wind began to whistle.


Of the WindBlown there was a Charlie there, and a Sandy, a Joseph who blinked too much, a Kelley who smiled too much, and Linkin with his loud mouth; there was Emile, Laurick, Thomdun with his laugh; Polly, whose mother taught her to tweet, but she could no longer remember how; Solto knew secrets he told no one, but would run off at night and whisper them into the wind, hoping they would catch ahold of the stream and someone, somewhere, somehow, would know the secrets of all; and Shirl, so quiet and small they forgot she was there, so quiet and small she could put herself in her own pocket, always head down, drawing lines on herself; but when she did look up, their faces would a’light, for some reflection unknown was always burning up her pupils. These folks, and others, were the WindBlown, huddled and crosslegged dots forming constellations along the Home of the Hills. Campsites against the brunt of the mighty wind. Linkin and Thomdun joined them, with Thomdun embracing all, each and individually with a hearty hug, a beard yank or a hair pull, while Linkin waved rapidly and dropped into the circle. Last night had been a tough wind, and some considered an alternative formation tonight. “Surely you notten thinken it’s better any now?” asked Laurick who shifted his crossed legs to straight. He was stretching before the wind came. “Nope’n’better, sure,” said Emile. “My knees done cracken and my bows bellowen after nighlas, and it turnen me bluen in the belly.” “Ay, bluen,” Kelley said, with a sad smile. “From the other side it swept us nighlas, no tellen which way to comen’forthen,” said Joseph, blinking. “I’m sayen we lock tonight,” Charlie was always sure, if they interlocked arms they’d withstand the wind. “Laslock harten,” recollected Polly, who ended in hard sand the night before. “Harten it deed,” agreed Emile, shaking her elbows. “But somes lock stoppen the wind, like nighlasnigh, or one before?” said Laurick.

“Before darnigh,” said Polly. “Were not. Was nighlasnigh!” said Charlie. “Whichen were it then?” asked Joseph. “Solto’s sos’d to memeren!” said Laurick. “Solto? No!” said Solto. He had many more things on his mind. And they’d carry on determining when the interlocking formation worked last, and whether it was worth the trouble. They finally decided to interlock, as the wind started to sing, and Linkin told them of the sign he found, and how he could date it to the 5th generation of Gravers, and how it helped him to recollect a song, which he recited with the wind. “Say Hiiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiigh, Say Hiiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiigh, You can’t hide from the silence in our world, You can’t tame the blaze all around, Say Hiiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiigh, Say Hiiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiigh, You can’t mine all the diamonds, In the Hill, You can’t store all the stars In the sky, Say Hiiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiigh, Say Hiiiiii, Nilly Wiiiiiigh.” Some remembered and sang along, while others joined on the refrain, but soon the wind picked up and their voices were lost and all they could do was hang on. The closer they inched together the less harm they felt, cheek to cheek against the burning untameable. Ear to ear to cover the sound, they hoped tonight wouldn’t be another night full of tumbling over hills and thrashing about. Each quietly murmured, begging the wind to be kind, to let them stay, to breeze, but it always picked up stronger. How long would their toss and turn last and how far? They feared the hard sands, smashing into crests that bruise or bloody, never fatal, but a whack hard enough to make the next day a throb. 26



ome nights it was a softer tumble with laughter, and they’d enjoy the windsweep across the dunes, but the fear the wind would turn for worse always lingered. This night, Solto was the first to tear free and purge to the wind the secrets of their lifetime and the secrets of many more, and somehow ours, and shoom, he was picked up by the wind; his whole body lifted of the dune, tattered shards of sandsplintered cloth in every direction, and set off along the contours of the Hills. When he broke free from their interlocked arms, the whole group toppled like the grains of sand all around them, losing their hold of one another one by one, flopping about topsy turvy. Joseph shot out to the left and disappeared over a terrifying crest. Laurick went end over end to the right, flopping swatches of tentacle like fabric over the Hills. Kelley kept her face a’smile until a burst of wind slapped her mouth full of sand. And Linkin stuffed his hands close to his notebooks inside his boots, and resembled a ball tumbling over the dunes, off to find a new relic to map inside a notebook no one would ever read but he. It was Shirl though who could take the punishment of the wind with grace. With the wind she flowed, so slight was she against its push and pull, so limber this wingless bird of flight. She was a ballet in the air, an acrobat of the wind, a piece of the natural world unto herself, though not a soul ever knew. The drawings on her body were the pathways of her flights, and the pathways of flights to come, brave prophesies of tumbles farflung, and she would fly off as the others would clatter into the campsites and dugouts of the Hills around them, and beyond, as she drew her story in flight. That night though, after Linkin rolled deep into the Hills, and Solto whispered, and Shirl had lifted off in flight, somehow Shirl and Thomdun collided midair, softly, not smashing but like magnetic fields vibrating and becoming one, and Shirl’s control laid the pathway for both, one candle lighting another, two crossing along one path, fireflies flickering in tandem. The wind twirled them, one over the


other, the other over one, nose to nose, and with his arms around her, Thomdun stared out at the world below and above him in a more perfect way, no longer chaotic and blurry, but crisply itself, something to awe, farther into the wind and night than he had ever seen, rolling hills he’d never visited, stars he’d never seen, until Shirl opened her eyes and lit up his face. She was startled by him, but not enough to trouble their flight. She righted them and for a moment stared only up at Thomdun. She noticed his long lashes, and wrinkled corners of his eyes. They had peaks and crests like the Home of the Hills. And Thomdun saw the reflections in her eyes, glimmering specks of color more than light. Galaxy eyes, he thought. “I seem to be stuck to you,” he said with apologies and a smile, and a touch of babbling. They settled into a current more delicate than Shirl had ever achieved by herself, and while her normal flights involved wild pursuits of acrobatic genius, this tandem flight brought her a patience she had never felt, and she gripped him tighter into the swoopswirl. Thomdun soon learned that he could affect her pattern by the twist of his head, or the shrug of his shoulder, and though this scared Shirl, to account for a movement other than her own she reacted at first with a flash of anger that stung Thomdun to his gut she was able to set their pattern once more with grace. They sailed this way, with no words passing between them, but they looked at each other. They took note of what one another looked like, made a memory inside their minds that remained. Sure, Thomdun’s beard would grow longer and Shirl’s hair was ever more tangled and their smiles would change from day to day, the slant of her cheek, the bush of his brow but now was the knowing part, when they came to know. Before long Thomdun moved again and set them off course and she corrected for it, this time easier and faster; he did it again, over and over, until she smiled back at him, and zig zagging over the Hills, they took the wind in a pattern one would only describe as haphazard, characteristic of neither Shirl nor Thomdun, a flight type wholly new. Thomdun finally stopped with a laugh and let the ride take him over, a light and airy float that in the end was just a soaring suspension, gravity unbound, a hum in the air.


The wind took them out, and when the sun finally cracked over the horizon and settled the frenzied air, and Linkin landed face up into the blue, the two lightly landed to the ground and fell asleep chest to chest, forehead to forehead, eye to eye, consoled for the longest sleep of their en-

tire lives. When they awoke, beneath them the length and width of their bodies together, soft as baby’s hair and a little damp, a touch itchy, but fresh, of a smell they did not know, of a name they did not know, and of a world that was their past and was to come was a patch of Green.

Oh, did they sleep.

For Courtney. 2016


W W W. B I N G B A N G N Y C . C O M B I N G B A N G J E W E L R Y, N E W Y O R K @bingbangnyc #bingbangnyc



2. 1. All that glitters... A selction of golden gifts for the stylish smoker. 1. The LUX clip range. Hand hammered Bronze rods plated in 24K gold, High Society Collection $120.00 2. 24K gold hemp based rolling papers pack of 12 sheets, Shine $55.00 3. Limited edition INDA pipe necklace, with vintage brass snake chain, INDA Creations $79.00 4. Gold Leaf Paintings, handpainted metallic acrylic paintings, SilkeSpingies $34.87 5. 22K gold-edged ceramic GeoPipe, Stonedware Company $120.00


6. Twisty Glass Blunt. Brass with proprietary titanium coating twist encased in heat resistant prex glass., 7 Pipes $49.99 7. 24k Gold plated over 6061 Aerospace alumium elite grinder, Phoenician $1,499.99 8. Gold Drop Bubbler, porcelain clay decorated in real gold overglaze, Kjell’s Cool Variety Shop $132.00 9. 24k gold plated Fetish Ashtray, by designer Joe Doucet, Tetra $2,000 10. Gold mini stackable Mary Jane Ring, Bing Bang NYC $58.00 5. 10.

6. 9. 7.

8. 30







WEED Selected by SJ George 32





omen are a powerful force within the cannabis industry. Whether they are Mothers advocating medical cannabis for their children; Doctors working towards changing how healthcare systems view cannabis as a medicine; Lawyers and policy advocates fighting to change cannabis laws; Entrepreneurs and Corporate Business women working on the expansion of the industry. There are so many aspects of this new and exciting industry that women are touching on, from seed to sale and beyond. With women empowerment in the forefront of todays issues many media sites have recently published pieces on a few influential or powerful women within the weed industry. And with the sheer numbers of women moving into the industry there is a huge pool now of women to highlight. Over the last few months I’ve been attending events, mostly in Los Angeles, and getting to know who is doing what within the world of weed. I was excited to discover women throughout the U.S. and beyond, in the most interesting jobs, all committed to establishing cannabis within modern day society. Though I could not highlight all the amazing women I’ve discovered, here is a selection of over 40 exciting women who are elevating the cannabis industry.


Acknowledgments: Thank you to Women Grow who kindly assisted in connecting me to many of these women, and the great work they do connecting women within this budding industry.


Creative Director & Co- Founder, The New Smoker Twitter: @thenewsmokermag Instagram: @thenewsmoker

BIO: New Zealand born, SJ worked within the film and events industries all over the globe before moving to L.A She discovered the cannabis industry through her husband Soren Gray, who created the idea of The New Smoker and “Bringing Class to Grass”. SJ helped him to create the magazine and take the site to the next level, with her background in graphic design and corporate business. GREEN ENVY: The New Smoker is becoming more than a magazine and taste-maker site, it is elevating the perception of cannabis globally. 33




Co-Founder, Lord Jones

Instagram: @thelordjones

Kristi KNOBLICH PALMER Bianca RUFFIN Chef Operating Office, Kiva Confections

Channel Manager, Défoncé Chocolatier

BIO: Kristi strives to ensure Kiva produces safe, consistent and delicious edibles. Kristi is the driving force behind Kiva’s customer service philosophy, employee development, and best practices in cannabis marketing.

BIO: Bianca oversees distribution and the expansion of the sales & marketing teams at Défoncé Chocolatier, one of California’s finest infused chocolate companies.

Twitter: @KivaConfections Instagram: @teamkiva1

GREEN ENVY: Kristi and her work with Kiva Confections is bringing professionalism and normalization to the cannabis industry through product safety and quality standards. Kiva is raising the bar on edible products. Kristi feels that cannabis is an incredible plant, and people deserve to enjoy it safely.


Founder, Garden Society

Twitter: @GrdnSociety Twitter: @DefonceC Instrgram: @GrdnSociety Instagram: @defoncechocolatier

BIO: Erin has built Garden Society upon the platform of elevating the cannabis conversation and making it more accessible and acceptable for women going through the rigors of daily life. Switching out that bottle of chardonnay for a GREEN ENVY: Défoncé is delicious confection once breaking down barriers in a while. that continue to plague the industry with it’s GREEN ENVY: Erin has high-quality artisan choc- created an amazing team olate bars by sourcing of five passionate women the best ingredients at all all with the goal to bring levels. Their highly styl- the therapeutic benefits ized sleek modern look is of cannabis to the modern opening up the discussion woman. She and her team on cannabis with people are bringing Garden Sociwho would not normally ety values to life as partfeel that cannabis was for ners with in the industry. them.

BIO: Cindy came from the world of fashion where she worked in the fashion departments of Vogue and Allure magazine, was part of the launch team of U.S. Marie Claire and Director of Public Relations for numerous high fashion brands such as Donna Karen and Banana Republic. After becoming Vice President of Global Marketing at GAP, Cindy launched her own agency CAPOBIANCO that served a diverse clientele within various sectors from food to fashion. GREEN ENVY: Lord Jones was created by Cindy and her husband Robert Rosenheck, originally as a non-profit collective called Hollywood Hills Wellness, providing the Hollywood elite with legal access to cannabis. Cindy has created a brand that was missing from the market. They receive letters from their customers, every day, sharing their incredible and intimate stories which just shows how important brands like Lord Jones are to the cannabis industry. 34




Julianna CARELLA


Twitter: @AuntieDolores

Co-Founder, Breez

BIO: Before entering the cannabis industry and after earning her undergrad degree at Harvard Anna traveled the country as a producer for Story Corps documenting the lives of everyday Americans for broadcast on NPR.

Founder, Auntie Dolores

BIO: Julianna is an avid proponent of health freedom, a visionary, and an activist in the MMJ community. As a health food enthusiast, she began incorporating cannabinoids into her own diet and sharing the benefits with friends and family memGREEN ENVY: Breez, is bers who later encouraged one of California’s high- her to turn her passion est-selling edibles brands. into a business. Anna has help to create a product that can finally GREEN ENVY: Julianna get your conservative dad has developed Treatibles or shy bestie to try can- CBD-infused pet products, nabis. Breez tin of mints under the Auntie Dolores makes cannabis consump- brand. Auntie Dolores tion mainstream. helps to provide safe access to cannabinoids for all sectors of society, including animals.


Katina MORALES (aka Betty) Anakatrina WALTZ Founder & CEO, Betty Khronic

Twitter: @BettyKhronic Instagram: @betty_khronic

Founder, Anakatrina’s Edibles Instagram:@anakatrinasedibles

BIO: Anakatrina; is a chef, horticulturist, cannabis activist, animal lover and founder of Anakatrina’s Edibles. She created healthy and delicious Chocolate Brownie Bites, without dairy, soy, gluten or sugar. She wanted something decadent and good for you, but that didn’t taste like cardboard.

BIO: Katina considers herself an activist within the industry, helping to eliminate the negative stigma and to educate the masses on how cannabis can be used as part of a healthy and holistic lifestyle. As a former collegiate athlete and distance runner, she was inspired to create an edible made for the health GREEN ENVY: At Anakaconscious individual. trina’s Edibles, cannabis and health are the core GREEN ENVY: Betty vision of their company. Khronic are the creators Anakatrina makes gourof the world’s first healthy met delicious edibles with organic cannabis energy nutritious, wholesome inbars. Their products are gredients. Created for peolab tested and made in ple with health/ dietary resmall production batches strictions, athletes, active to ensure consistency and people or those looking for quality. a guilt free treat!

Image: Chocolate Chip Cookie Bite ,


Samantha CZUBIAK


Twitter: @PunchEdibles

Instagram: @mondomeds

BIO: Samantha started out in the entertainment industry as a wardrobe stylist, before moving into cannabis edibles. Over the 4 years since she started Punch Edibles she has managed to merge these two worlds by bringing creativity, professionalism and a women’s touch to her business and the industry.

BIO: Emily created her cannabis company, Mondo, out of a need for a healthy daily edible. She first created a delicious organic granola bar, however it was difficult to precisely measure mg dosages. Going back to the drawing board, she figured out how to make her coconut oil into an easier form of consumption – powder!

CFO, Punch Edibles & Extracts Founder, Mondo CEO, Punch Media LLC

GREEN ENVY: Punch is all about sensible sized, medication that can pack a punch. Their chocolate bar piece grid allows each patient to adjust their desired dosage with ease.

GREEN ENVY: Mondo, an all natural dissolving cannabis powder crafted from Blue Dream flowers. A fast acting edible, this gentle and functional high is the perfect accompaniment for productive lifestyles. 1st Place in Best Drink Mix, 2nd place in Most Innovative, 3rd place in Best Coconut Oil Based Edible.

Liz RUDNER Co-Founder, MoonMan’s Mistress Twitter: @moon_mans Instagram: @moonmansmistress

BIO: After being diagnosed with Celiacs and Hashimotos Liz became her own advocate for wellness, turning to food to heal her body. 10 years on and she has never been healthier thanks to cannabis. GREEN ENVY: Liz has created a healthy but delicious, low dose product that caters to people with dietary sensitivities and as well as an edible made for an active lifestyle. She is proud to source the highest quality non-GMO, organic, pesticide free ingredients for every one of MoonMan’s Mistress products.

Image: CBD Vegan Energy Bar ,




Farmer, Oxendine Family Farms Instagram: @oxendine_family_farmÂ

BIO: Renae has been in Mendocino County, CA since 1988, she lives with her family on 10 pristine acres with a deep artesian called Oxendine Family Farms. They originally started cannabis farming to subsidize the families income and now have one of the few hundred county permitted farms in Mendocino County. They’ve created a sustainable family run farm, with 3 generations of cannabis farming experience with over 50 years of knowledge combined. We are driven every day to grow the highest quality medicine available. GREEN ENVY: Renae and her family have created a sustainable family run farm, with 3 generations of cannabis farming experience, with over 50 years of knowledge combined. She is driven every day to grow the highest quality medicine available. 37


Jennifer GRAY


Instagram: @ Arcanna_flowers Instagram: @_elysian.fields_


Farmer, Arcanna Flowers

Farmer, HappyDay Farms

BIO: Amber and her family run HappyDay Farms a micro-scale, diversified family farm located in the hills of Mendocino County, CA. At 3,000 feet on a southwest slope, our terraced gardens produce food year-round. In addition to cannabis, HappyDay Farms grows produce and cut flowers for our Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program and local farmGREEN ENVY: At 16 Jen- ers’ markets. nifer grew her first plants hidden up in an oak tree. GREEN ENVY: Their terEleven years later, she is roir produces, craft canone of the very first com- nabis from our own seedpliant and permitted farm- stock varietals. They ers in the county. Growing believe in triple bottom is her heritage, lifestyle, line economics by valuand her passion. ing land stewardship and community. BIO: Jennifer’s farm, Elysian Fields, is located in Mendocino County on a large, off grid community that was created in the 1970’s and it is also where she was born and raised. They practice sustainable growing methods and are dedicated in working towards regenerative farming, and are experimenting with biodynamics.

Jairia PASS

Genetics Supervisor, THC Design

Twitter: @_THCDesign Instagram: @thcdesign



Grower &Garden Mgr, AlpinStash

Twitter: @AlpinStash Instagram: @alpinstashco

BIO: Jairia grew up in Tulsa Oklahoma, with a family that was not accepting of cannabis. With her degree in biology and chemistry and her love for plants, she moved to California to grow medicinal cannabis and created THC Design with her boyfriend Ryan Jennemann.

BIO: Emily was inspired by her brother Danny’s journey transitioning off of 19 different prescription medications and losing 70 pounds with the help of cannabis. Danny started AlpinStash an artisan quality small-batch, glasscured and hand-trimmed recreational flower.

GREEN ENVY: THC Design has grown to become very a highly recognizable brand within the cannabis industry. Currently Jairia works as the sales manager, and flower distribution where she is becoming known as a strong, hard working woman with a genuine company.

GREEN ENVY: Alpinstash is immersed in the beauty of Colorado where they grow chemical-free flowers. Emily is proud to be helping to build her family company, full of honest and loving individuals, most of whom, happen to be strong, badass women.






COO, Mary Jane University (MJU) President, Faerie Jane Twitter:@Cannabis_Class Instagram: @ faeriejane

BIO: As the Chief Experience Creator of MJU High Dining, a division of Mary Jane University, Barbie takes fine dining to new heights with infused cuisine, upscale events and foodie workshops. Barbie strives to create the kinds of events that she would want to attend and always infuses them with education and a little euphoria. Faerie Jane a luxury cannabis lifestyle brand was created by Barbie to celebrate activism through the art of adornment. GREEN ENVY: Barbie’s the Founding Co-Chair of Women Grow Orange County and former Co-Host of “The 420”, a cannabis news show on the first Cannabis based TV Network, the US Weed Channel.

Keira FAE

Founder, The Cannabispot Twitter: @keira_fae Instagram: @keirafae

BIO: Keira spent 6yrs in Japan and immersed herself in the culture and it’s traditional foods, learning techniques and products directly from Tokyo’s chefs and bakers. Back in the U.S. she continued her passion for baking working in a French Bakery in Portland, OR. After moving to California Keira become ill and discovered the medical benefits of cannabis. This lead her to specialize in edibles and collaborate with Weedmaps and film step by step how-to infuse and cook with Cannabis videos. She later partnered with Mindstream Studio, to make a webseries of Cannabis Cooking videos called “The Cannabis Pot” among others. GREEN ENVY: As a Cannabis Chef, she believes in healthy alternatives, micro dosing, and the consumption of raw cannabis. Keira is also the Vice Chair of Women Grow Los Angeles.

Karin LAZARUS Founder, Sweet Mary Jane

Twitter: @SweetMaryJaneCO Instagram: @sweetmaryjanebakery

BIO:Karin won the grand prize in the Scharffen Berger Chocolate Adventure Contest for her Chocolate-Filled Pandan Dumplings and with the prize money she start her company Sweet Mary Jane in 2009. Karin’s approach to baking with cannabis emphasizes the plants benefits combined with delicious tasting treats and medicinally focused tinctures. SMJ specializes in small batch artisanal desserts and medicinal tincture blends all made by hand, custom to each order. GREEN ENVY: In 2015 Karin released her book ‘Sweet Mary Jane - 75 Delicious Cannabis-Infused High-End Desserts’. Through her unique vision and customer loyalty SMJ has won several awards from 1st place at Cannabis Cup for Re-Leaf 3:1 to 2016’s THC Classic’s Best Edible.






Twitter: @KM_PR

Twitter: @ZoeWilder Instagram: @zoewilder

Founder, Kip Morrison & Associates

BIO: Kip has successfully built startup brands into household names for more than 25yrs within the public relations industry. She has a passion for telling clients’ stories and creating remarkable mainstream press coverage. What keeps her going is getting notes from happy clients that say, “BAM, BOOM, POW to our Badass PR! “ GREEN ENVY: Kip has launched brands within the cannabis industry such as Foria, Venice Cookie Company (VVC Brands), MedMan, Absolute Xtracts and Lowell Smokes. She has creatively taken them mainstream with media placements in outlets such as Vogue, Vice, NPR Radio, Cosmopolitan magazine, NBC and Forbes.


Publicist & Consulant,

BIO: For 15 years, Zoe has worked with numerous clients across a variety of industries to develop and execute inventive promotional content and campaigns that capture the attention of tastemakers and influencer’s from around the globe. “Above all, I enjoy my clients. Together, we advance the cannabis conversation through science-based research and education while developing sustainable practices and setting trends in the global cannabis community.” Says Zoe. GREEN ENVY: Her team comprises over 25 years of forward thinking public relations expertise including the authoring of a New York Times bestselling lifestyle and wellness hardcover, publishing oversight for numerous peer-reviewed medical journals, as well as national and international ambassador A-list celebrity spokesperson work through numerous sectors, activism, advocacy, and more. Her articles have been published in media sites such as Merry Jane and Rolling Stone Magazine.

Olivia ALEXANDER Founder, The Crystal Cult, Kush Queen Cannabis, The Third Eye Agency Twitter: @CrystalCult Instagram: @thekushqueens

BIO: Serial entrepreneur Olivia founded the Kush Queen Cannabis, The Crystal Cult and co-owners Gourmedibles Bakery and Privee Social Club. As a outspoken millennial Alexander has worked within all aspects of the cannabis industry and created her thriving cannabis creative and talent agency The Third Eye Agency. Her clients have included Bhang and Northern Emeralds. GREEN ENVY: With over 2.7 Million followers on Instagram she one of the most followed digital influencer’s in cannabis. She has been featured in mainstream media outlets such as Elle France, New York Times, Live With Michael and Kelley, Fortune and Cosmopolitan Magazine.



Award Winning Financial Journalist Twitter: @WallandBroad

BIO: Debra has covered cannabis for the last 5yrs writing for The Street. com, Forbes and Civilized. With her Wall Street background, she gives her cannabis reporting a financial focus and believes this is the biggest business story of the decade. GREEN ENVY: Debra won an award in 2014 for Best Video in a News category for “Guess Where People Want To Buy Pot” by the She has interviewed all of the major players in the industry and is in demand as a moderator at cannabis conferences. Janet BURNS Freelance Writer Twitter: @warmlyburns

BIO: Janet is a freelance writer and weed-enthusiast living in Brooklyn, and who covers the blossoming cannabis industry from afar for Forbes Online and other sites. She’s also the host of The Toke, a cannabis news, law, science, and culture podcast. GREEN ENVY: After spending most of her life in parts of the West Coast where cannabis use was fairly common, Janet now finds herself sticking up for the plant whenever she can to help investors, politicians, and everyone else see the many benefits of ending cannabis prohibition. As a cannabis writer, she hopes to continue sharing things she’s known about the plant for years, as well as what she learns from activists and experts as the field of cannabis research keeps on growing.

Hayley FOX

Freelance News Reporter Twitter: @EPfox

BIO: Hayley has written about crime, community, cannabis, arts and culture for the L.A. Weekly, Leafly, VICE, Los Angeles Magazine and the Jewish Journal. The L.A. Native and longtime Dodgers fan previously worked as a reporter at NPR affiliate, KPCC 89.3. GREEN ENVY: Living in Los Angeles and writing about it’s marijuana businesses, Hayley is acutely aware of what’s at stake if we fumble legalization regulations at a local level, but she is hopeful that practical policies will result in much needed tax revenue for the city and state. As the federal government continues to threaten California with a crackdown on all fronts, from cannabis to immigration, it has been inspiring for her to see how many Golden State residents and leaders have responded.






Co-Founder, Torii Labs

Creator of Ganja Yoga

Twitter: @ToriiLabs Instagram: @toriilabs

Instagram: @ganjayoga

BIO: Raised in London and Paris, Luchaire has explored the globe and is continually inspired by its cultural diversity and richness. Lulu studied philosophy and cognitive science in La Sorbonne Paris, and ultimately - earning her MBA at HEC Paris, France’s leading business school.

BIO: Dee is the creator of Ganja Yoga, cannabis-enhanced yoga classes. A yoga practitioner of twenty years, Dee was the first yogi to offer cannabis yoga classes outside of ancient India.

Lulu spent 7yrs working for Apple in the Silicon Valley, Asia and South America, within retail sales, marketing, and worldwide development. Later leading the Music and App retail marketing team at iTunes in Europe. Her passion for music lead her to the development a new music festival concept in Mexico. GREEN ENVY: Lulu is passionately building Torii Labs, a performance health company with her friend and business partner, Giles Hayward. Infusing hemp oil into their tonics maybe just the beginning.

Through her work she is inspiring other yoga teachers and wellness practitioners to start their own form of cannabis enhanced yoga. GREEN ENVY: Her work has been featured in New York Times, VICE, Good Morning America, Dope Magazine, Business Insider, and many others. Her book, Ganja Yoga, was released with Harper Collins in April 2017.





Owner/Designer, Stonedware Company

Founder, Hollow

Instagram: @stonedwarecompany

BIO: Ariel has been working with clay since she was a kid and started her first business RELM Studios in 2013 as a platform to make and sell ceramic home decor. After the legalization of cannabis in Oregon she decided to combine passions and start making design focused smoking wares, specifically for users who don’t identify with “stoner culture”. With the help of a few special ladies, Ariel lovingly produces each piece from scratch in her Portland studio. GREEN ENVY: Ariel has created a new stylish smoking experience, Stonedware pipes feel great in your hand and look chic on your table. Combining high end modern design and handmade craftsmanship Stonedware Company creates smoking wares that are made to be displayed as art in your home.

Instagram: @shophollow

BIO: Britta launched Hollow in 2016, from a need to elevate her smoking experience and fit the aesthetic of her lifestyle. With a background in jewelry making (, she approached the creation of Hollow pipes as a new pendant, paying attention to form, feel, and elegance. She sculpted the pipes in clay and the early test version were Hollow out by hand. After settling on her favorite designs, she started working with a slip caster to create the opening line of size, white, mat finish pipes. GREEN ENVY: Britta finds the best projects can be started through the kind of exciting, creative vision that develops while enjoying one’s favorite flower.

Mia SCHACHTER Potter/Owner, Paperclip Pottery Instagram: @paperclippottery

BIO: Mia has been doing wheelthrown and hand-built pottery for several years around New York and is currently based in Brooklyn. Primarily interested in pottery as part of the Craftivism movement, Mia seeks to waste little material, energy, and time. Form and function are not mutually exclusive, and can both be uplifted through thoughtful design. Her work is mostly about elevating the mundane habits we have to an artful ritual. Pottery is inherently political to Mia, so she feels connected to her political motivations simply by doing it. She says, “The objects I make obviously speak to my beliefs about the stigma surrounding weed. Pottery is not about more, bigger, and faster; it’s about a connection to human history, a connection to our bodies, and an allaround awareness of our own mood and the needs of the clay”. GREEN ENVY: Mia is currently doing a residency in Japan as part of her continuing education. She has been profiled in the Cannacurious blog, and is looking at making dishes for a restaurant in Bushwick, NY.



THE DESIGNERS Jeanine MOSS Founder, AnnaBís Twitter: @AnnaBisStyle Instagram: @annabis_style

Whitney BEATTY

Founder, Apothecarry Twitter: @theapothecarry Instagram: @theapothecarry

BIO: Whitney left a successful career as a SVP of Development in the entertainment industry to start Apothecarry. Inspired by a lack of stylish, safe cannabis storage systems and a disdain for storing medicine in a shoebox, Whitney created a luxury cannabis brand, providing high style and high quality goods designed with the cannabis connoisseur in mind. GREEN ENVY: Apothecarry was in the first cohort of Canopy San Diego cannabis business accelerator, and won the best pitch award at the Arcview Group’s LA investor summit.

BIO: Jeanine has a lifetime of cannabis, branding, marketing and new product development experience. Her passion is creating products for the new cannabis culture that help women live it, own it and love it. She’s thrilled to create the next generation of products for women by working with the best fashion designers on the planet! GREEN ENVY: AnnaBís is the first and only fashion brand to offer odor-controlling handbags and accessories with secret compartments that help you feel discreet, stylish and secure when carrying cannabis. Jeanine is inspiring thousands of women to think beyond the baggie and carry in confidence and style. Jeanine says “It’s legalized, let’s make it civilized!”


Simone CIMILUCA- RADZINS, CPA Founding Partner, LIV Consulting Instagram: @livconsulting

BIO: Simone’s expertise is in business strategy, finance, risk management, and business process improvement. She has improved business operations for hundreds of clients around the world. With a background in Big 4 public accounting and international consulting for Fortune 500 companies. Simone is a founding member of LIV Consulting and CEO of Kalogia, an online network that connects cannabis professionals. GREEN ENVY: Simone has been active within the cannabis business community in Southern CA since 2014. She has spoken about cannabis banking and 280E issues on National Public Radio (NPR); has lectured on the US cannabis economy in Prague and Costa Rica, and has given multiple talks at 420 College, Cannabis Finance Bootcamp, Women Grow and the University of Oregon.


THE COMBINER Krystal KITAHARA Chief Executive Officer, Yummi Karma Twitter: @YummiKarma Instagram: @yummikarma

BIO: Krystal is a founding member of Yummi Karma, and comes from a long line of established entrepreneurs. During college she created small successful on-campus organic juice stand. After graduating with a business degree, she entered the corporate world as an account executive at a media station. Combining her love of business with her love of can-

nabis, Krystal sought to create a company that embodied her vision. She brings a fresh perspective to the edibles and topicals market and has successfully built cannabis brands that appeal to, and empower women. Her award-winning line of infused savory snacks and tinctures, Yummi Karma has expanded to hit the topical market with the beauty line, High Gorgeous, which has already garnered national media attention. GREEN ENVY: Krystal has successfully brought the world of edibles and beauty together. High Gorgeous, has already garnered national media attention with a recent video about the company on Her team’s first online shop selling merchandise and CBD products at, is paving the way for women all over the country to try out the popular brands. Krysta was featured in 2016’s “40 UNDER 40 IN CANNABIS” (Marijuana Venture Magazine).



Ophelia CHONG


Twitter: @StockPotImages Instagram: @stockpotimages

Twitter: @EdiblesList Instagram: @edibleslist

BIO: Ophelia is the creator of Stock Pot Images and Asian Americans for Cannabis Education (AACE). She is driven to help shape the new conversation of Cannabis and is guided by one mission: to advocate for the legalization of cannabis and offer truthful reflections of the faces and communities that embrace cannabis.

BIO: Raised in Hawaii, Bo started running her own graphic and web design firm at age 16. After moving to San Francisco to study, she soon left school and started her own business. By 21 she had a six person team working for her design firm. Bo ran Runway Magazine for two years before she moved to Los Angeles in 2011 and became a budtender and rock musician.

Founder + COO, StockP ot Images

Ophelia is truly active within the cannabis industry as a Creative Consultant at PUSH Magazine (a magazine for millennial women in cannabis), and a Community Outreach liaison for THC Design (premium cannabis growers in CA). As an their liaison she works with LGBT, Veterans, Minorities and the Disabled. GREEN ENVY: After two decades in photography as a creative director Ophelia is changing the perception of the public’s views and stereotypes of the cannabis communities through imagery. 47

Founder, Edibles List Magazine

Bo founded Edibles List, out of a need to find healthy, consistent, medicated edibles at the dispensaries. GREEN ENVY: In 2016 she launched an edibles distribution company. Her Best of Edibles List Awards was rates top 5 cannabis events by The San Francisco Chronicle and in 2016 Marijuana Venture magazine named her 40 under 40. She’s been featured in media sites such as Leafly, Yahoo Finance, The New Yorker, ABC News, and CBS News. She is the cannabis industry’s go-to edibles expert, The Empress of Edibles.

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THE SHOP KEEPERS Yvonne DELAROSA Founder, 99 High Art Collective Twitter: @Yvonne_99

BIO: Credited as a Cannabis Pioneer for creating a paradigm shift in marijuana dispensaries, international actress and activist Yvonne came to the world of medical Marijuana when her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Disheartened by the lack of respectable dispensaries she created 99 High Art Collective in Venice Beach, an upscale dispensary not only visually opulent, but that served as a sanctuary for healing and spiritual enlightenment. Years on, Yvonne’s mother is cancer free and her now 99 High Tide Collective in Malibu is blossoming. She is a passionate activist whose activism roots grew from her many encounters with the late cannabis activist and author Jack Herer. GREEN ENVY: 99 Venice Beach was heralded as one of the best dispensaries in CA by Rolling Stone Magazine, LA. Weekly and High Times Magazine, Yvonne brought the 99 brand to Malibu as the 99 High Tide Collective which has been recently recognized as one of the top three “Best Dispensaries in all of California” by, one of Great Britain’s largest advocacy groups. Kristin WOOD

Vice President of Marketing and Communicaations, Emblem Cannabis

Twitter: @emblemcannabis Instagram: @ emblemcannabis

BIO: Kirstin has a background in Phytotherapy (herbal medicine), 27 years of experience with cannabis, and 17 years of running and setting up eCommerce and marketing for large retailers. Kirstin has re-branded two medical cannabis licensed producers in Canada. From implementing seed-tosale systems to working with the cannabis community, she handles all this while successfully working within strict government guidelines. GREEN ENVY: Kirstin’s has successfully branded Emblem as one of the most popular licensed producers with cannabis users in Canada, with her focus on complete wellness and customer service. Emblem Cannabis is not just a online collective, it has a team of passionate growers dedicated to cultivating cannabis strains for their patients.


Jessica CURE Partner, Emerald Exchange Instagram: @emeraldexchange

BIO: As an event producer, interior designer, and wellness advocate Jessica has an extensive background designing eco-friendly spaces that combine vintage luxury and earthy elegance. Her uniquely curated events include Emerald Exchange a event that brings the Southern California cannabis community together with artisanal, small batch cannabis cultivators and medicine makers from Northern California. Jessica has an online shop within her events site Cure Designs that offers a variety of curated products, each carefully selected for their ability to enhance the wellness of your mind, body, and spirit. GREEN ENVY: Jessica and her team have taken Emerald Exchange from a new and exciting event to a well recognized and sold out event in less than a year. Cure Designs creates interactive event spaces and community building opportunities that are unforgettable experiences.

Katelyn Carita PARTLOW aka LITTLE FACE Creator of Cannabis Cabaret Twitter: @CannabisCabaret Instagram: @CannabisCabaret

BIO: Katie is best known for creating and producing imaginative events and shows within in the cannabis industry. Her most established is the variety show called the Cannabis Cabaret, an event series in LA that showcases art exhibitions, musicians, burlesque performers, comedians, sensory experiences, with the biggest brands in marijuana presenting their products to the engaged audiences. After being arrested in her youth for marijuana possession, Katie joined marijuana activist groups in Washington, DC, taking part in demonstrations to decriminalize cannabis. Katie was most recently part of a demonstration in that passed out 4,200 joints at Trump’s inauguration. GREEN ENVY: Katie also creates original cannabis blends and manages the production of Lowell Smokes, a line of packaged joints made by the Lowell Herb Company. She has been part of some their most creative campaigns such as the Weed Bouquets for Valentine’s Day for which she will be featured in the upcoming season of Bong Appetite on VICELAND.


Photographer, Suicide Girls Instagram: @millouxsuicide Instagram: @chillwithsg

BIO: Milloux is a model as well as photographer for In the cannabis industry, she manages and creates content for SuicideGirlsCannabis and Lowell Farms social networks. Growing up in Los Angeles, she experienced the innovation of the industry first hand as it has, and continues to evolve. This insight paired with her previous work in photography and videography initiated the clean and creative marketing style associated with the brands she contributes to.

Alyssa MARQUEZ - aka Miss MARQUEZ Burlesque Dancer, CannaMiss Marquez Instagram: @themissmarquez

BIO: Classically trained in ballet and with a natural affinity for the vaudevillian era, Miss Marquez discovered her passion for the art of Burlesque. Miss Marquez has brought her tantalizing antics as a solo burlesque performer to some of the nations most illustrious venues including Ivan Kane’s Royal Jelly Burlesque Club, Houston Hospitality’s No Vacancy and Harvard and Stone, Harvelle’s Jazz and Blues Club est. 1931, and Cliftons Cafeteria.

GREEN ENVY: Milloux photography work is sexy with a non-curated and natural appeal to it. With her imagery of the The SG Vape collection: Zero (THCV hybrid), Chill (indica), and Hustle (sativa), she not just shows a product but gives a true feel for how each strain will set your mood. GREEN ENVY: Miss Marquez considers burlesque the perfect platform to address the social and political issues revolving around Marijuana. Her debut of CannaMiss Marquez Act was featured in L.A. WEEKLY Ashley MANTA - “Hardest-Working Woman in Burlesque” and a “SuFounder, CannaSexual perheroine of the Art of the Tease”. Twitter: @ashleymanta Instagram: @cannasexual

BIO: Ashley Manta has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual™ brand. As a professional sex educator, facilitator, and writer, Ashley helps people navigate these topics to find their path to embodiment, joy, and pleasure. GREEN ENVY: Ashley recently moderated a Leafly-sponsored panel at SXSW titled “The Surprising Health and Sex Benefits of Cannabis.” She has spoken at colleges and professional conferences nationwide, raising awareness about the value of mindfully combining sex and cannabis to deepen intimacy and enhance pleasure--solo or partnered! 50


THE BIOLOGIST Dr. Daniela VERGARA, PhD Founder, Agricultural Genomics Foundation LinkedIn: verdaniela (Daniela Vergara, PhD)

BIO: Dr. Vergara is an evolutionary biologist researching Cannabis genomics at the University of Colorado Boulder. In addition to her multiple publications in Cannabis, she founded and directs a non-profit organization, the Agricultural Genomics Foundation(AGF). AGF’s aim is to make cannabis science available to a broad public. Daniela’s latest scientific publications includes the comparison of federally produced cannabis to that produced by the private market, showing that the government’s cannabis lacked potency and variation. These results were featured in news platforms such as Science and FiveThirtyEight. Some of her other scientific publications are a compilation on the existing genomic tools available for cannabis research, and the maternally inherited genomes (chloroplast and mitochondria). Dr. Vergara has authored these publications advised by Dr. Nolan Kane whose group at CU Boulder she joined in 2013. These publications are a product of collaborations between graduate and undergraduate students, and scientists from the Cannabis Industry. Through AGF, Vergara educates the public about science, Cannabis, evolutionary biology, and genomics. AGF also supports the Cannabis Genomic Research Initiative (CGRI), group that Drs. Vergara and Kane founded to explore the Cannabis genome. GREEN ENVY: Currently, Deniela is exploring the genes related to the production of CBD and THC, and is associating this important physical trait to the genome. Most of her research has been funded by private individuals who believe in her cause with donations to AGF that holds a 501(C)3 status.







After a week of visiting home for the holidays, the quick flight back from Oakland to Burbank should have been a breeze. It’s a trip I’ve done a dozen times. But this particular jaunt into the wide blue yonder was instead a perfect storm of prolonged panic, puking, and prostrations. And that wasn’t me, but almost everyone else on the flight. I just happened to be the only fool flying waaaaaay too high on cannabis cookies. The day began innocently enough. After waking late, my dear friend Don Steele and I were hanging around his live/work loft in The Mission. We puffed bong rips to help


By Soren Gray cure the hangover from our bar-crawl outting the night before, as I reluctantly got ready for my sojourn back to LA. Crashing at Don’s for a few nights was always the highlight to my holiday home visits, in more ways than one. “Wanna few pot cookies for the road?” Don asked with a devilish glint in his eye. Always up for a good glint, I somewhat emphatically answered, “Sure...?” I’d never been a big edible eater, but wherever Don went I tended to go along. He pulled a big bowl of chocolate cookie dough from the fridge and plopped it on the counter.


“We just made these last to my gate” night from some pot-butter I got from a friend.” “Duuuuuuuude...” He barely breathed out. The pure size of it all stunned me a bit. I had “You ok there...?” I asked. never seen such a huge bowl of edibles by this “Are you….?” He asked point. (This was in the back. Then followed up early aughts, before dis- with, “Those cookies pensaries were common kicked in and are fucking place and edibles came in stroooong.” measured amounts.) “Really? I don’t really Don and I began to giddily feel anything yet.” The grab finger fulls of dough announcement to board and form them into cook- member my plane came ies on a cookie sheet. We over the loudspeakers. nibbled our fingers clean “Shit, I gotta go. Don’t get as we went... as you do. too high, guy!” I said with Don popped the sheet unintentional foreshadin the oven as I finished packing for my trip. We took a few more dips into the dough before he put it away in the fridge. 10 minutes later, the oven timer announced the cookies were ready. We each gobbled a warm one with excited impatience, both lightly burning the roofs of our mouths. I panic-noticed I was running behind schedule, so Don packed me a few cookies to go and gave me the traditional big goodbye hug as I rushed out the door. I took the 10 block trek from his house near Potrero Ave through a windy drizzly winter’s day, speed walking to the 16th st. Bart station. I caught the train just in time, carrying me under the bay and over to the Oakland Airport shuttle, which in turn took me to the terminal. As I sat down at my gate, waiting to board the Southwest plane I got a call from Don on my mid00s flip phone. “What’s up guy? Just got

known that before I gobbled down canna-cookie dough like it was the last time I’d ever see sugar.) As everyone found their seats and the door to the plane then closed and sealed, the worst thought I could think for a developing claustrophobic like myself crept over me like a horror movie reveal: “I couldn’t get out of here if I wanted to.” (Cue terrified scream in my head).

The plane fought to climb it’s way above the clouds, shaking and rattling every foot of the way. But these were big storm clouds and there was no getting up over them. We then “levAnd this is only the begin- eled” off into a rollercoastning of my ascent into a er of turbulence that lasthellish nightmare of storm ed the entire 45 minute clouds. flight.


owed irony, and hung up before I could quite hear any of his possible warnings. Thinking I must not have had as much as Don did, I pulled out one of my cookies and took another big bite. I filed into line and slowly made it all the way to my seat, before I started to feel a big weed wave creep up from my chest and throat and grab my brain with a growing panic. (I must note here, I think there’s something about plane pressure and altitude multiplies one’s high, as every time I fly high it’s more intense than the same dose I take when on the ground. I only wish I’d

from Humboldt to San Diego. And we were about to be riding those big storm waves all the way down to LA like a tiny fishing boat lost and tossed at sea in the parts of ancient maps labeled: Here there be monsters.

I tried to get my claustrophobic fears under control with some mediation deep breathing techniques I know, and a mantra I’d learned during a “self-enlightening” phase.

Om mani padme hum... Om mani padme hum... Om mani padme hum… Breathe in through the nose and out through the ffect. mouth. In through the nose and out through the As we jar- mouth. Repeat… for entire ringly took flight. off, slamming into buckets of rain, my The whole time I simply panic only persisted. In sat in my seat eyes closed; fact, it incrementally in- breathing and chanting creased as I got even more to myself as needed. The high with every foot the picture of tense calm. I plane climbed into the was only fully freaking storm clouds above, and on the inside, trying my winter sun started to fade best to overcome my edoutside my tiny window. ible overdose. The most visually panicked part of The Bay Area is known me would have been my for its moody weather, white knuckled fingers but usually after take off gripping the armrests like we clear the chaos of any I was clinging to the edge local storm. This was one of a cliff. While all around of those big state-wide me, the rest of the plane winter weather monsters was freaking the fuck out. that rained a saltless sea down on all of California There was a girl to my front left crying inconsol54



ably. There was a woman a few rows in front of me puking in her handbag. A man behind me held his cross like it was a parachute, mumbling newly pious prayers. They didn’t even serve in flight snacks. You know it’s bad when even the stewards aren’t allowed out of their belt-buckled seats. I swear at one point the air masks dropped in front of us, but I might be embellishing that part of my own recollection from movies. Every jostle of the plane got a startled rise out of most of the passengers. It felt more and more like we were in the airplane version of the Perfect Storm and the end of the movie was coming nigh. I reminded myself of something my sister-inlaw told me when she was a stewardess. That turbulence isn’t something to be afraid of and most plane accidents happen within two minutes of take off or landing. In the air, there’s plenty of room to fall and recover. Planes didn’t just get blown out of the sky.

I don’t remember getting home from the airport that night. I only remember I was safe and it was over and I was still really high. I also remember I threw away the rest of those damn cookies. Even if I wasn’t high this would have been the worst flight of my life. Instead, it was exponentially so. Only my lifelong practice as a daily cannabis consumer at overcoming intense highs, and my mediocre meditative methods, pulled me through. If not for those, I might have just opened one of the emergency exit doors for fresh air and freedom however momentary... even if it only lasted the 5 minutes it would take to hit the earth at least I’d be out of that damn plane. Ever since then, I’m a little less relaxed on airplanes. If I let in those dark thoughts, I can get a little panicked and claustrophobic when I’m on a plane. A bit of a psychic scar. Although conversely, ever since I survived my nightmare flight, any other flight with turbulence is a lot less intimidating. I can talk myself down and enjoy the rollercoaster ride instead.

I held on to that thought for dear life and told myself I was just super-baked and I’d be fine in time, and so would the plane. But for the full 45 minutes every- The Valium helps too. thing else was a fear-filled blur… until finally, with no fanfare other than the cessation of terror, we somehow landed abruptly in Burbank’s Bob Hope Airport. The cheers and claps and howls and tears from the passengers were of a unified relief that we’d made it back to terra-firma in one piece. 55



Petibles: Edibles for Pets?


umanoids? Generally, we love getting high. Which means we love that little old chemical Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), because THC is the psychoactive flavonoid compound that makes us high when we ingest cannabis. It’s a lot of fun. Well hey - we all know our pets like to have fun with us, they’re our best friends, after all. So does that mean they love getting high? It’s not outside the realm of possibility, but Jake the beagle loves chocolate and grapes, too. CATCHING THE COMPARISON? Maybe you didn’t know about grapes, but pretty much any dog owner knows that chocolate is no bueno por los perros (no good for dogs, for any non español speakers). THC is highly toxic to animals at higher concentrations, and might even be lethal, which means that you reeaallly don’t want to be blowing your smoke in his face or sharing that amazingly strong edible you got from the shop with him (and let’s get real, all those edibles are amazingly strong these days >> see Extreme Edible Experiences in this issue for examples). But just because it’s not a good idea to get Jake high, doesn’t mean that there are no positives for him from cannabis, OR that you have to totally stiff him when you’re enjoying your own tasty weed treats. Because there are a growing number of cannabis edibles and tinctures on the market today made just for our furry friends. LET’S TALK ABOUT SOME SCIENCE STUFF Every animal with a vertebrate skeleton has an endocannabinoid system. Just like us, our pets have cannabinoid receptors in nearly every bodily tissue, and they readily absorb and benefit from a gamut of cannabis flavonoids (of which more than 80 have been discovered). The most well known of these is THC, which, as we covered, is no good for animals at high concentrations (it interferes negatively with their nervous systems). But another


By Elly Prothero flavonoid found in cannabis, cannabidiol (CBD), has a whole different story. CBD is a non-psychoactive compound in cannabis, meaning it does not get you -or Jake- high. But it does have a regulatory effect on the immune, nervous, reproductive and metabolic systems. That CBD has a “regulatory” effect means it creates balance in unbalanced bodily systems. For example, an imbalance in the immune system often manifests as painful inflammation. CBD acts to decrease inflammation. Notably for your pets, CBD has had profound results for pets that suffer from arthritis, increasing mobility and generally reducing pain caused by arthritic inflammation. A thing to note about CBD and edibles for your pets is that most of the products out there are made from hemp, not from marijuana. Both hemp and marijuana are varieties of cannabis, but while the marijuana plant produces more THC flavonoids that CBD flavonoids, the hemp plant produces more CBD than THC. Interestingly, research has shown that CBD also acts to reduce the psychoactive effects of THC. THE PIONEERS: In the last five years, the number of pet overdoses from marijuana has seen a four-fold increase, according to the Pet Poison Helpline and reports from the ASPCA. This can likely be attributed to the higher-than-decades-past THC content in marijuana products meant for us humanoids, and is more often a result of curious critters getting into their owner’s stash (hey, Jake), than owners intentionally getting their pets high. However, in the last five years there has been a notable movement toward including our furry friends in the quest for benefit from cannabis. And the movement is coming from both medical marijuana entrepreneurs, as well as licensed veterinarians. In 2013, Julianna Carella, founder of the success-


ful Northern California edible company Auntie Dolores, developed her line of pet edibles as a response to queries from many of her customers. People were curious about the benefits of medical cannabis for their pets, and repeatedly asked Carella if it was safe for them to share their Auntie Dolores edibles with their pets to help treat ailments like arthritis and anxiety. It is not, Carella assured them. But she developed Treatibles so that folks would have a way to share the medicinal benefits of cannabis with their pets without exposing them to the unsafe THC compounds that human edibles contain. “The treats do not have the kind of intoxicating effect that they would if they had THC in them. But when the dog has anxiety and they use the CBD treatment, you’ll notice a difference in their demeanor. It removes the anxiety without getting them high,” says Carella. Other products have been developed by veterinarians, such as Canna Companion. “By applying the scientific principles of veterinary medicine and pharmacology, combined with multidisciplinary research and our own testing and informal clinical trials, we have developed and refined Canna Companion to where it can be a part of your dog and cat’s holistic care.” Shaky grammar notwithstanding, Canna Companion is an example of a company that takes an extremely clinical approach to their pet edibles, with an extensive guide to dosing according to pet size and weight, and which offers complimentary consultations with their licensed veterinary professionals. Truly reputable pet edible companies (including Treatibles and Canna Companion) stress the importance of the availability of lab tests for all pet CBD products, which should be conducted by an independent third party and which verify a product’s levels of CBD to THC, as well as other chemicals which can affect your pet. BUT THERE’S ALL THIS PESKY LEGAL STUFF… Federal regulators haven’t approved cannabis for use in animals, and prohibitions on cannabis have hindered research. To date, only anecdotal evidence of the effectiveness of cannabis for animals is readily available. As a result, there’s no official science on the effectiveness of pet cookies, pills, tinctures, oils and other products; nor recommended doses for these products. And in California, the Veterinary Medical Board guidelines still say that prescribing or recommending cannabis as an alternative option to treat pet ailments is against the law. Any veterinarian who does so risks losing his license. If a pet owner is interested in trying cannabis to treat their pet, it is completely up to them to bring it up to their vet, and many vets aren’t convinced it’s a viable option, for lack of sufficient studies. Maureen Dorsey, a veterinarian at Oakland Veterinary Hospital, says that she is concerned about the absence of data to support pet edible manufacturers’ claims. “In my vet community, we have online discussions that this is coming up,” she said, “but we have no information about the efficacy, the dosage or the content of these products, and no one can do the research because the plant is still federally illegal.” 58



et there are a handful of veterinary proedge off of her craziness, just makes her a little fessionals who are extremely optimistic more relaxed in general as she goes through her about the future of cannabis for pets. day, so it’s been a real big help for us.” Seattle veterinarian Dr. Sarah Brandon has said, “I believe within 2-3 years it Jake Snappin has been supplementing with Vet will be a commonly offered option in veterinary CBD oil for his golden retriever mix, Sunshine, hospitals for pain and inflammation reduction, who has seizures. “She hasn’t had a single seizure neurological conditions and mild behavioral consince I began dosing her. She hasn’t had any of the cerns.” Dr. Gary Richter, owner of Montclair Vetsmall little psychological ticks that she would get erinary Hospital and Holistic Veterinary Care in before them, the little precursors. And she’s eaten Oakland, California declares, “The prospects of her whole meals when generally she’s a very picky medical cannabis in pets are really, really exciting, eater. And so now she’ll finish the whole thing.” just as they are in humans.” Indications that cannabis is well received by most For now, any cannabis based product that is made mammals and can even be used to treat larger for your pet will be labeled as a dietary suppleanimals such as pigs and horses abound. Howevment meant only to “support your pet’s endocaner most of the products you’ll find out there are nabinoid system,” unless meant for dogs and its makers are keen to cats. There’s no indi“THE PROSPECT OF MEDICAL have a go with the FDA. that cannabis CANNABIS IN PETS ARE REALLY, cation No product can propose affects cats and dogs to cure, mitigate, treat, or REALLY EXCITING, JUST AS THEY (or other mammals prevent any type of disARE IN HUMANS.”- Dr. Gary Richter , owner for that matter) any ease in your pet. Those differently in terms of products that have of Montclair Veterinary Hospital and Holistic Veterinary effectiveness, although popped up claiming to Care in Oakland, California it’s not impossible that do any of the above have it does. …When research is illegal, there’s bound been taken to task by the FDA in recent years. to be a shortage of definitive information on the nuances of species’ specific results, isn’t there? THE INDICATIONS THE ROUNDUP So you’re not going to find anything but anecdot al evidence that cannabis can help your pet, and A pet edible does not equal breaking off a piece you won’t hear any product manufacturer in their of your weed cookie and tossing it to Jake the right mind declaring cannabis as a “treatment” or beagle… THC at the levels which are present in “cure” for your pet’s ailments. But recent years’ today’s human edibles can be toxic to Jake and advancements in pet CBD products have actuhave led to a rise in animal overdoses from marially resulted in a great deal of exciting anecdotjuana. As much as Jake might *like* to get stoned, al evidence in support of its use as treatment for it ain’t so good for him. But in recent years, the a whole slew of ailments from which our furry emergence of pet edibles low in THC and high in friends suffer, including and not limited to: anxCBD have been yielding exciting and profoundly iety, arthritis, intestinal problems, seizures, neupositive results for our pets as holistic alternative rological and autoimmune disorders, cancer, and treatments for a broad range of ailments from end of life comfort and care. which our furry friends often suffer. A big fan of Treatibles dog chews, San Jose registered veterinary technician Liz Hughston has this to say about the effects the CBD treats have had for her pets: “Our old dog takes it to help with his mobility issues. He’s 15, so he has arthritis, and the CBD really helps him move around better, sleep better, and just overall manage his old age better. And our little Pomeranian mix, she’s just kind of crazy. We find the CBD really takes the 59


SOME SUGGESTED PRODUCTS: These products can be ordered online to be shipped to your home - they are legally sourced from hemp-only sources: TREATIBLES.COM - Blueberry CBD dog chews… for small dogs up to 50 lbs - Pumpkin CBD dog chews for large dogs 50 lbs or more CANNA-PET.COM - Capsules: Canna-Pet® Advanced Small for cats - Liquid MaxCBD for Horses SHOP.CANNACOMPANIONUSA.COM - Canna Companion Canine - Medium (21lb-50lb) - Regular Strength Capsule for Small Dogs




icrodosing Marijuana

For some people, consuming cannabis can be an overwhelming experience. As such, it can be a big turn off for many as they feel out of control, and unable to focus with cloudy thoughts. But with the myriad of benefits marijuana offers, many people are still interested in finding ways to enjoy cannabis without the possible negative effects. Microdosing may be the best answer. As research writer Zoe Wilder speaks about in her article for Merry Jane online, microdosing is the practice of consuming small amounts of various substances for therapeutic purposes. Albert Hofmann, a Swiss scientist who studied the effects of LSD and who passed away in 2008, developed the concept of Microdosing with LSD and psilocybin sources. Microdosing has now been popularized by the cannabis community and is being tested for use as an adjunct to the treatment of a variety of conditions such as anxiety and ADHD. Wilder’s research indicates that with limited low doses of cannabis, clients don’t experience intoxication but instead enjoy a “creative opening” that allows them to enjoy the benefits without side effects. Some users of marijuana and it’s derivatives report that they are prone to anxiety when they smoke and this is one of the reasons why they have shied away from using it therapeutically. Other’s enjoy the psychoactive aspects but would like to


be more focused. For those who have used a variety of conventional medications to treat health issues, but avoided cannabis due to perceived side effects the notion of microdosing may prove to be a more suitable method of delivery. “Finding your sweet spot will take time, patience, and practice.” says Wilder. Potential microdosers are encouraged to learn as much about cannabis as possible and also to continue to develop self-awareness. It may be helpful to keep a journal and note mood, sleep habits, tolerance levels for reference purposes. Our personal chemistries are different and what benefits one person as far as amount, strain, and method of delivery may not work for another. A system of microdosing is designed to avoid obvious euphoria and unwelcome reactions while recognizing the benefits of lower doses of cannabis. Wilder goes on to say, “The most popular delivery methods are smoking, vaping, and ingesting cannabis. All have their own advantages and disadvantages, but oftentimes you can design a regimen that’s right for you by incorporating all three.” In its early stages, microdosing will create a slight sensation without paranoia. Depending on the par-

ticular strain, a client may feel more enthusiastic and relaxed. Some users report improved emotional equilibrium and improved periods of creativity. For newcomers to microdosing it is always important to remember the common caveats when taking any medications. Wilder suggests the following: Avoid mixing cannabis and alcohol until you are experienced with both. It’s important to pay attention to the potency of your cannabis. Use strains high in CBD and low in THC to experience CBD’s relaxing benefits. Blending cannabis with natural tobacco alternatives can create therapeutic combinations. Metabolism and physiology can affect your experience. Patience. Finding what works for you may take some time and experimentation. Original article published in MERRY JANE

c ons u me w ise ly



hef Tiff’s Recipes

By Chef Tiffany Friedman

Personal Chef Tiffany Friedman shares with us a few of her favorite Spring inspired recipes with a delicious infused dessert that you can make at home, with or without the cannabis infusion.

Grilled Tokyo Turnip Artichoke & Potato with Togarashi Aioli





Roast in the oven on a half sheet pan spacing them out evenly for 10 minutes or until soft. Cool the veggies then skewer them one of each vegetable per skewer so three veg on a skewer. Heat up a grill or grill pan to medium –high, oil to prevent vegetables from sticking. When the grill is hot mark off the vegetable skewers and serve them with the togarashi aioli.


ogarashi Aioli SERVES 6


• 5 small German butterball potatoes sliced 1⁄4 inch thick • 1⁄2 lb. fresh baby artichokes outer hard dark leaves removed down to the soft bright green leaves then stems off and cleaned and cut in half. • 2 bunches Tokyo turnips cleaned most of the tops removed, leave a small bit of green on for color then cut in half length wise. • Small Skewers soaked for 10 minutes to prevent burning. • 2-3 tablespoons Coconut oil or cannaoil for cooking. • Kosher salt and pepper to taste



• • • • •

5 egg yolks 1-cup vegetable oil 1 tbsp. fresh lime juice 1 tsp. togarashi spice Kosher salt, to taste



Combine egg yolks, lime juice, and salt in the bowl of a food processor and mix yolks until frothy, 2–3 minutes. Slowly add vegetable oil until mixture is completely emulsified. Add togarashi

Heat oven to 375 convection roast Adjust seasoning to taste. Refrigerate Oil and season with salt and pepper the until use. prepared veggies


IMAGES: Provided by Chef Tiffany Friedman


Strawberry Ruhbarb Canna Butter Pie



For Crust • 3 cups all purpose flour • 2 1/2 teaspoons sugar • 3/4 teaspoon salt • 2/3 cup chilled solid vegetable shortening, cut into pieces • 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, cut into pieces • 10 tablespoons (about) ice water For Filling • 3 1/2 cups 1/2-inch-thick slices trimmed rhubarb (1 1/2 pounds untrimmed) • 1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar • 1/2 cup sugar • 1/4 cup cornstarch • 1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste • 1/4 teaspoon salt • 3 tablespoons melted cannabutter

Let dough soften slightly at room temperature before rolling.) Make Filling: • Preheat oven to 400°F. Combine first 8 ingredients in large bowl. Toss gently to blend. • Roll out 1 dough disk on floured work surface to 13-inch round. Transfer to 9-inch-diameter glass pie dish. Trim excess dough, leaving 3/4-inch overhang. • Roll out second dough disk on lightly floured surface to 13-inch round. Cut any shapes you like with desired cookie cutter. Spoon filling into crust. Arrange the cookie cut out top and shapes on top of the filled pie.. Fold ends and overhang under, pressing to seal.. • Brush glaze over crust. transfer pie to baking sheet. Bake 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 350°F. Bake pie until golden and filling thickens, about 1 hour 25 minutes. Transfer pie to rack and cool completely.

Chef Tiffany Friedman

For Glaze • 3 tablespoons melted cannabutter



Make Crust Combine flour, sugar and salt in processor. Using on/off turns, cut in shortening and butter until coarse meal forms. Blend in enough ice water 2 tablespoons at a time to form moist clumps. Gather dough into ball; cut in half. Flatten each half into disk. Wrap separately in plastic; refrigerate until firm, about 1 hour. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Keep chilled.

Chef Tiffany is a lifelong student of the culinary arts. Her goal is to always continue to grow and direct her passion toward bringing people joy. She describes her culinary talent as,“a gift I hope to share with your taste-buds.”



TANGIER CANDY can * nois * seur ( kan’ us sur’ ), n. one competent to render critical judgment on the qualities and merits of Cannabis.

By Frank Lauria


mong the many delights of living in Tangier during the seventies was the availability of the finely cut weed known as Kif, Hash, and the hash candy called Majoun. After a few hours of writing, I would wander down to the Socco Chico, the small square beneath the Casbah for a glass of fragrant mint tea and a pipe of kif. Located just under the terrace of the Café Baba, which overlooked the late Barbara Hutton’s Moroccan mansion (the fabled heiress had many others) --was a hole-in-the-wall tea house run by Karim, it’s gentle, white bearded owner. Karim literally had a niche business. He specialized in delivering his mint tea to nearby shops and private customers.

carrier that held six glasses at a time. The unique six-pack was fashioned to hold the traditionally shaped glasses. One day he made ten such tea runs in thirty four minutes. Low overhead, high volume.

Of course like mostly all cannabis the effects diminished over time until the majoun delivered a nice steady high. (The exception to the diminishing returns rule in that very rare soul-expanding bud that lights up all the Soon I discovered the se- rooms in your brain while cret to his popularity. Ka- soothing your body.) But I rim not only brewed mint digress... tea--he cooked up majoun. One sunny afternoon I Naturally, I became a cus- picked up a letter at Amertomer. The hash candy ican Express and went to came in a large English tof- the Café Baba to read it. A fee tin. Inside was a dark, friend from New York, a sweet paste that seemed lady I had worked with at to be made of dried fruit, Bantam Books was comhoney and sesame. The ing to visit Tangier with recommended dose was her husband. Linda was one table spoon. On tast- an extremely nice young ing I recognized most of woman if a tad conservthe ingredients but it was ative. In looks and manalso flavored with heavy, ner she was as apple-pie unfamiliar spices. Later wholesome as Doris Day. I Karim confided one was wondered how she would nutmeg. take to the exotic Casbah with its veiled women Whatever the mix it cre- and kif smokers in hooded ated a contemplative, cre- robes. ative state that heightened colors and amplified mu- Turned out Linda took sic, lasting three hours. to it just fine. She had set For long periods I would her sights on writing a watch the water in Tang- romance novel and she ier Bay at sunset shift found the teeming, colorshades from lime, to tur- splashed markets and quoise, to rippling purple mysterious cafes inspirto magenta… ing. Ed, her husband was

an engineer by profession and more practical, if not wary. Unlike most tourists, including proper British types, Ed wore a jacket and tie. Now my father was an engineer and always wore his tie at home so I didn’t think it odd except to note my father was a strict, formal man. However Ed was very affable and Linda was bubbling, obviously enjoying their adventure. It was fun catching up on industry gossip and the buzz on the hot new authors. In the seventies book publishing was a glamourous business and working at Bantam Books was similar to working at Google today. After dinner at a French restaurant run by a Parisian expatriate and his veiled Moroccan wife, we went back to my place for some tea and talk. Both Linda and Ed were non-smokers and declined my offer of a puff of local weed. But Linda was very curious about the tin of majoun on the table.

His tiny workplace consisted of a hot plate and a table. However, his tea was enormously popular and I would watch Karim from the balcony of the Café Baba shuffling to and fro on pointy yellow slippers swinging a ringed metal Image credits: Left page Columbia/ Legacy. This page image of Frank Lauria from 65


I explained its benefits and possible side effects for someone who had not ever even smoked a joint. However nothing would do but Linda had to try a wee taste. It was decided that since a tablespoon was the adult dose, a teaspoon would do for Linda and Ed. They each had one, commenting that it tasted like a dessert, had more tea and hung for a bit longer.

The next day we met for lunch and Linda and Ed showed up looking frazzled. No, they had not slept soundly. Quite the opposite in fact. It seems that shortly after going to bed Linda had awakened laughing hysterically.

Giggling is not an uncommon effect of cannabis however Linda could not stop laughing. This worried Ed who tried to calm After a while the only re- her down but every time action I could detect was he tried to touch her she that Ed loosened his tie. would laugh harder. Soon after they said goodnight and went back to It seems the majoun had their hotel assured (by made her skin extremely me) of a sound sleep. sensitive. Everything--the

pillow, the sheets, Ed’s around their eyes. hands—tickled her, and she kept bursting into par- They picked at their food oxysm of laughter. while they recounted their experiences and I got the On the other hand the impression they considhash candy, and his wife’s ered it my fault. Especialuncontrollable fits of hilar- ly Ed who remained stone ity gave Ed a paranoid re- faced despite my attempts action. As Linda’s laugh- to make light of their exter intensified he feared periment with majoun. they’d be heard and the police would come. Your A year later Linda pubbasic Bad Trip: 101. lished her romance novel. But I never heard from Needless to say neither of them again. them slept very well and arrived at lunch looking Another nail in the coffin disheveled. Ed had his of my reputation. jacket and tie but his shirt was wrinkled and Linda’s straight blond hair was limp and tousled. They both had dark circles

Brought to you by the The New Smoker. Main Office. Los Angeles, CA USA


HIGH DOSES or: How to eat 600mgs of cannabis a day and still be ok.

By Grayson Ward


ike most people who weren’t very cool in high school, I first tried pot my freshman year of college. And ever since some friends and I took cover behind the generator in back of our dorm building and sparked my first joint, I’ve had a deep affection for marijuana. I love how it mellows me out and calms my anxiety. Nothing eases stress after a day of work like eating a pot chocolate and listening to a Beatles record. That’s the other thing I love about marijuana – how it makes listening to music even more awesome. Play “I Call Your Name,” and experience John’s desperate vocal on a whole other level. Spin “Hey Jude,” and gain a new appreciation for Paul’s bass prowess. Hell, even McCartney’s solo stuff sounds decent when you’re high! (“Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” aside, of course). A few years back, I got into edibles for the least bad-ass reason possible – I have asthma. (Again, wasn’t cool in high school). Smoking pot still eased my anxiety, but the asthma attacks it was giving me didn’t. Once I switched to edibles, I kicked myself for not doing it earlier. In addition to being smokeless, there are so many other great aspects of edibles that I really enjoy. I love that edibles last longer and can be consumed more discreetly. You’re much less likely to get noticed if you’re eating medicinal gummies than if you’re hitting a bong at a concert. (You’re also much less likely to get a communicable disease this way, so it’s really a win-win). Since I started using edibles, I’ve developed a very high tolerance. I began with a forty-five milligram peppermint patty that would floor me if I ate it at once. (Found that out the hard way when I ate an entire patty and spend at least two and a half hours trying to unlock my apartment with my garage door opener). But after eighteen months or so of eating the patties on a pretty regular basis, it would take two full ones to give me an intense high. Then I started branching out and trying other edibles – examples of my staples at the time range from traditional chocolate bars, chocolate chip brownies, high-dosage fudges, flavored beverages, lollipops, popcorn, Rice Krispie Treats, tinctures, and all kind of gummies. In about a year, I was up to four or five of my new favorite edible a day -- Sensi Chews. With each Chew clocking in at one hundred milligrams, my tolerance was up to about five hundred milligrams daily. After one more year, it’s increased only slightly, to approximately 600 milligrams a day. I consume that in the form of what has become my go-to edible: Hashman chocolates. They don’t taste like pot at all even though each one has two hundred milligrams of cannabis. I typically split that fifty-fifty between sativa and indica. Depends on the record I’m playing.



A selection monthly or annual cannabis events to attend if you’re in Los Angles, California, home of The New Smoker. The Emerald Exchange is a annual event held in March. Set on a beautiful ranch in the hills of Malibu, CA with stunning views out to the ocean, it is the perfect setting for a day full of artisans and cultivators showcasing the finest cannabis wears and flower within California. Tickets sell out quickly:

Grassfed holds sophisticated cannabis infused dining experiences throughout the year with various dining and music themes. In addition to their decadent dining nights, they have fun social events including Virtual Reality and cannabis sampling...whaaat! Keep up with their events:

Vendor Sesh is a monthly B2B (business-to-business) event for those in the Cannabis industry. Each month features a selection of brands, businesses, investors and dispensary owners all looking to connect, collaborate and expand. If you’re in the cannabis industry in LA this events for you: 420 Games is held throughout the U.S. annually in Cannabis friendly cities, including at the Santa Monica pier, LA in April. It starts with a fun walk, bike ride, skate or run from Santa Monica to Venice beach. The day finishes with a market place full of wonderful cannabis vendors, food trucks, live music and activities for those full of fitness energy. If you miss L.A’s there is 7 more cities to choose from:

Women Grow hold nationwide monthly events. “Women Grow was created to connect, educate, inspire and empower the next generation of cannabis industry leaders by creating programs, community and events for aspiring and current business executives” Learn more and become a member: The Los Angeles Women Grow held monthly at ShowGrow DTLA: 69


For lovers of great stories and good weed.


Edible Reviews by Luca Belloiu, Clark Greene, & Grayson Ward


n the interest of science, we here at The New Smoker have taken it upon ourselves to feature and review a variety of top quality edibles, from brownies to breath mints, lemonade to fruit-chews, tincture to topicals to test their quality, taste, effectiveness, speed, and overall design to see just how good they really are.

We’ve put together three different levels of testers: Low Tolerance for someone who rarely consumes cannabis in any form. Medium Tolerance for people who smoke everyday but don’t eat edibles much. High Tolerance for those who eat multiple edibles everyday. We had each tester rate eat sample with a score from 1-5 for each of the 5 sections. Speed: How fast it took to kick: 1. very long, 2. too long 3. two hours (average) 4. took an hour (fast) 5. under 30 mins (superfast) Strength: How high you get. 1. buzz, 2. buzzed 3. high 4. super high 5. way too high. Taste: If it tastes too medicinal. 1. bad 2. passable, 3. fine, 4. good, 5. wanted to keep eating Quality: ingredients: 1. cheap, 2. ok, 3. good, 4. nice, 5. high Appearance: Design: 1. tacky, 2. boring, 3. good, 4 nice, 5 stylish We then averaged all of those scores to get an overall TNS “potleaf” quality rating for each edible item:1 leaf=low quality, 2 leaves= decent, 3 leaves=good, 4 leaves=high, 5 leaves=super high. We didn’t lab test anything to see if the doses marked on the packages were accurate. This is an experiential rating to try the overall product more than real science. But we hope it helps you find what edible might work for your particular needs best. Enjoy!


KIVA CONFECTIONS BLACKBERRY DARK CHOCOLATE BAR: 180 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 7PM Last Meal: 2PM. Chicken Burrito. Activity: Swimming with Manta Rays (seriously) Dosage: 12-15mgs RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 4 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes: Rich and smooth tasting. Took it to coincide with a Manta Ray night dive I had planned in Hawaii. That bad boy kicked in at about the same time I saw the 1st Manta ray. I’m sure my environment heightened the experience. Felt a little out of body. Top notch. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 8PM Last Meal: Ate 2 hour before Activity: Watched TV Dosage: ½ of 1 piece 22.5mgs RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 4.4 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.2 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.4 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” rating: 4.5 = Very High

Notes: Not as strong as I expected, but a delicious chocolate. Hopefully they’ll make non medicated version as well. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Cheese Quesadilla hour before Activity: Listened to Music Dosage: Ate full bar at once RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes: Did the job.



KIVA CONFECTIONS BLUEBERRY MILK CHOCOLATE TERRA BITES: 120 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 2PM Last Meal: Eggs and Bacon 2 hours prior to consumption. Activity: 4 mile hike and ran a few errands. Dosage: 10mgs total (two 5mg chocolates) RATINGS Speed: 2 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 5 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Notes: Thought they were duds at first. Suddenly kicked in after 2 hours with a substantial head buzz and euphoric LSD type trippiness (although much milder). Lasted a good three hours before the feeling started to taper off. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 2PM Last Meal: Bagel two hours before taking. Activity: Working a festival bartending Dosage: Two 5mgs then 2mgs 4hours later RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 2 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Notes: Really helped my 16 hour shift go by nicely. 2 was the perfect dose. Wished they tasted better. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Cheese Quesadilla 1 hour before Activity: Played Jeopardy, Listened Music. Dosage: Ate full dose(1 box)over course of an hour. RATINGS Speed: 1 Strength/efficacy: 1 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes: Fun to eat but didn’t get my big buzz on. 73

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 4.0 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 3.8 HEAVY WEIGHT : 3.4 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 3.5=High Enough

KIVA CONFECTIONS PETRA MINTS: 2.5 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: Noon Last Meal: An apple for breakfast 2hrs before taking. Activity: Hiking Dosage: 7.5mgs RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 4 Appearance: 4 Notes: Best tasting cannabis mint I have had to date. Hardly any cannabis taste to it. Took two 2.5mg mints to start. Felt relaxed after an hour or so and decided to take one more 2.5 mg dose. Slight buzz that dissipated rather quickly. Will probably take 3 at a time next go around. MEDIUM WEIGHT AVERAGE RATINGS Time Of Day: Evening LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.8 Last Meal: Popcorn during MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4,0 Activity: Went to Movie HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.4 Dosage: Four 2.5mgs=10mgs Combining the overall average of RATINGS each rating, and then in turn averSpeed: 5 aging those gives each item it’s TNS Strength/efficacy: 3 “potleaf” rating: Taste: 3 Quality: 4 4.0 = High Appearance: 5 Notes: Mints kicked in quick. But hard to take the dose I needed all at once. A lot to suck on. Smaller mint or higher dose would help. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Tacos Activity: Listened to Music. Dosage: Full box 2.5mg THC per mint. 42 mints per container. 105mg at once RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5




BREEZ MINTS MINTS: 5 MG THC with Natural Terpenes from Peppermint LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 5PM Last Meal: Sushi at around 2PM Activity: Took a dip in the jacuzzi then showered off and wrote a bit. Dosage: One 5mgs dose. (Cinnamon 200mg CBD +200mg THC) RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 4 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Note: One 5mg cinnamon mint after working out. It took about 45 minutes to kick in with a slight head buzz and an overall relaxed feel. Felt more of the CBD. Great little day high. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 11AM Last Meal: Before getting airplane. Activity: Flying across country. Dosage: Two 5mgs (Original 250mg THC) RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 3 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 4.0 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.0 HEAVY WEIGHT : 3.6 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 4.0 = High Enough

Notes: Very fast and effective and easy to bring on a plane, but hurt my stomach a bit at first. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: At work Last Meal: Lunch an hour before Activity: Typing/sitting Dosage: Entire box over a couple of hours (Royal Mints 1000mg THC) RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 3 Quality: 3 Appearance: 4 Notes: Easier to eat than the other mints. The higher dosage helped too. 76


TO WHOM IT MAY... TRUFFLES: 2.5 MG, 5 MG, 10 MG, 15MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: Noon Last Meal: Protein shake at 9AM Activity: Meditated for 20 minutes. Relaxed on the couch reading and watching TV. Dosage: 5mgs “Myra” & 2.5mgs “Vivienne” RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 2 Taste: 5 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Notes: Had one delicious 5mg dose (Myra), waited an hour and felt a gentle sort of relaxation that was short lived. Took another tasty 2.5 mg dose (Vivienne) and settled in for a relaxing few hours on the couch watching TV. Tastes like a bonafide dessert with hardly any cannabis taste. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Snack just before taking. Activity: Watched 2 movies Dosage: 15mgs “Zak” + 5mgs “Myra” RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 4.0 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.6 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.4 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 4.5 = Very High

Notes: Not a fan of coconut confections, but Zak with Myra was just the right combo. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Night Last Meal: Burrito 2 hours before Activity: Watching TV Dosage: Two 45mg of “Ralph” RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5



WHOOPI & MAYA SAVOR MEDICAL CANNABIS RAW CACAO: 100 MG, 200 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 9PM Last Meal: Organic pizza dinner Activity: Meditated. Wrote in dream journal Dosage: 1 tablespoon 5mgs (100mg Raw Cacao) RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 2 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 4 Notes: Really tasty. Didn’t feel much. Would love some to eat normally. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 11PM Last Meal: Dinner Activity: Bedtimes Dosage: 2 tablespoons in hot milk 10mgs (100mg Raw Cacao) RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 2 Taste: 3 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.8 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 3.6 HEAVY WEIGHT : 3.2 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating:

Notes: Took a while to drink. Would have been yummy if I liked coconut. Wished they had regular hot coco style. Hard to measure dose correctly.

3.5 = Quite Good

HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Night Last Meal: Cheese Quesadilla 2 hours before Activity: Reading, Listening to music Dosage: Entire 200mg Extra-Strength Raw Cacao jar with a spoon. RATINGS Speed: 2 Strength/efficacy: 2 Taste: 4 Quality: 4 Appearance: 4



MONDO CANNABIS POWER: 200MG THC / 5MG PER SCOOP LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 7PM Last Meal: A tablespoon of the MONDO Powder in my post workout protein smoothie. Activity: Coming back from the gym. Dosage: 10mgs RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 3 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Notes: A slight hint of cannabis but nothing too overwhelming. It hit me about 45 minutes later. Very subtle, relaxing, mild euphoria and lasted for about an hour and a half. Great way to just chill. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Ate with ice cream Activity: at party Dosage: 10mgs RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 4 Quality: 5 Appearance: 4 Notes: Really is great with ice cream. Nice micro buzz. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Morning Last Meal: Ate with breakfast Activity: Hike Dosage: Entire Container 200mgs RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 4 Quality: 3 Appearance: 3 Notes: Difficult to eat the entire dose. 79

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.8 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.0 HEAVY WEIGHT : 3.4 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 3.5 = Quite Good


HASHMAN’S CANNA-DROPS / TINCTURE: 200MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: Evening Last Meal: Thai food two hours before taking. Activity: Watched TV Dosage: 1/3 dropper then 1 dropper full. Hashman’s Indica tincture RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 3 Quality: 4 Appearance: 5 Notes: Third of a dropper and felt little effect. The second time I took a full dropper and a deep sense of relaxation set in after 15 minutes. Not much of a high. Slight upset stomach that went away after an hour. Great sleep. MEDIUM WEIGHT AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.8 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.0 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.2

Time Of Day: Afternoon Last Meal: After Lunch Activity: Hike Dosage: One dropper full Hashman’s Sativa tincture RATINGS Speed: 5 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 2 Quality: 4 Appearance: 4

Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 4.0 = High

Notes: Very fast. Great body buzz. Made the hike that much better. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Late Morning Last Meal: Hamburger Activity: Cleaned house Dosage: Took full bottle 200mgs poured into apple juice. Hashman’s Sativa tincture RATINGS Speed: 5 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 2 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 80


HASHMAN’S CHOCOLATES: 100 MG, 200 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: Afternoon Last Meal: Light lunch hour before Activity: Running Dosage: One 10mgs piece of 100mg sativa RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes: Easy to measure. Taste amazing. Lots of energy for my hike. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 10PM Last Meal: Dinner hour before Activity: Watch TV Dosage: One 20mg chunk of 200mgs indica RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 4 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 4.4 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 4.2 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.4 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” quality rating: 4.5 = Very High

Notes: One chunk is the perfect dose. Like taking a natural sleeping pill. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: After work Last Meal: Cheese Quesadilla Activity: Listening to The Beatles Dosage: Entire 200mg indica chocolate. RATINGS Speed: 3 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 4 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes : These are my go-to chocolates. Very consistent. I usual have 3x 200mgs a day. Their 420mg Cherry Bomb is made for someone like me! 81


FRUIT SLABS THE OG MANGO & MANGO MAUI WOWIE : 100MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 6:20PM Last Meal: Chicken and rice bowl at 3PM Activity: Cleaned the house. Dosage: 10mg tear RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 3 Quality: 3 Appearance: 2 Notes: The OG Mango fruit slab had a harsh after taste. Took about an hour for an unfortunately short lived euphoria to kick in. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 10PM Last Meal: Dinner 2 hours earlier Activity: Movie home Dosage: 10mgs...ish RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 2 Quality: 3 Appearance: 4 Notes: Hard to make an exact dose. Should have dose slices. Kept getting coconut bits in my mouth. I’m not a fan of coconut so should had just the mango. If I have to suck on something for a while, it’d better taste amazing.

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.0 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 3.2 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.2 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” rating: 3.5 = Good

HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Afternoon Last Meal: Chicken Fingers Activity: Played Darts Dosage: Full Packet 100mgs RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 4 Notes: My aim got a little fuzzy, but I didn’t get that high. 82



Time Of Day: Night Last Meal: Dinner Activity: Couch Lock Dosage: 125mg (half of 250 Brownie! Oops) RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: Infinity (5) Taste: 3 Quality: 3 Appearance: 3 Notes: For full “EEE!!” overdose review check out my piece “Houston, We Have A Problem” on page 11 of this issue. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: 8:30PM Feels Last Meal: Pizza hour before Activity: Writing Dosage: Two cube chunks - 30mgs...ish (500mg 4.20 Peanut Butter S’mores Brownie) RATINGS Speed: 5 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 2 Quality: 3 Appearance: 4

AVERAGE RATINGS LIGHT WEIGHT : 3.6 MEDIUM WEIGHT: 3.8 HEAVY WEIGHT : 4.8 Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” rating: 4.0 = Nicely High

Notes: Hard to cut exact desired dose. Tasted really strong. Brownie was kind of dry and falling apart but it had been in the fridge a week or two. Got really HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: Throughout Day Last Meal: N/A Activity: Took a long walk (about 90 minutes), listened to music while rearranging our living room Dosage: Ate over the course of one day. First 400 mg dose, 3hrs later 400 mg dose, and the remaining 200 mg dose 4hrs after that. (1000mg 4.20 Cookie & Cream Brownie) RATINGS Speed: 5 Strength/efficacy: 5 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 4 Notes: Provides an intense high that is quite frankly awesome. It made me feel relaxed and calm while giving me a nice boost of energy as well. Effects lasted all day.


VCC BRANDS CANNABIS QUENCHER : 100 MG, 200 MG THC LIGHT WEIGHT Time Of Day: 4PM Last Meal: Chicken salad 2hrs prior to consumption Activity: Packing bags for vacation. Dosage: 10 -15mgs - OLD FASHION LEMONADE RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 3 Quality: 4 Appearance: 4 Notes: Had about 1/4th of the bottle in a scotch glass with ice. Slightly bitter tasting. Kicked in at about 50 minutes. Gave me a good level of energy. Lasted awhile. The perfect dose. MEDIUM WEIGHT Time Of Day: Late Afternoon Last Meal: Lunch Activity: Bartending Dosage: 50mgs. Split half of 100mg Grape Juice with co-worker. RATINGS Speed: 4 Strength/efficacy: 4 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 4


Combining the overall average of each rating, and then in turn averaging those gives each item it’s TNS “potleaf” rating: 4.0 = Nicely High

Notes: Really helped my 16 hour shift go by nicely. 1/2 was the perfect dose. Tasted amazing. Wanted to drink the whole thing. HEAVY WEIGHT Time Of Day: 1PM Last Meal: Two slices of pizza. Activity: Took a long work (about 120 minutes) Dosage: Full bottle of Hibiscus 200mgs RATINGS Speed: 2 Strength/efficacy: 3 Taste: 5 Quality: 5 Appearance: 5 Notes: High is subtle but delightfully mellow. Effects lasted about 3 hours. 84



By Daniel Freedman


his was before cookies were readily available in every shop, back when edibles were all home made and varied in quality, potency and taste. My girlfriend had gotten her hands on a rolled rod of cookie dough. You made your own cuts and baked them for 20 minutes. Can’t beat a fresh cookie. Only problem was we had no idea how big to make the cuts. So we winged it. We ate the cookies in EEE!!

my car on the way to my After knocking again, we bosses Sunday afternoon entered the premises. BBQ. Don’t ask me why I thought this was a good Inside we found an imidea. It wasn’t. pressive spread of food on the kitchen counter, evWe arrived to my boss- erything from chicken saes overtly white house, tay to brownies to kaleidoparked and questioned scopic salads, all prepared how long we had before by my bosses strangely the cookies kicked in. I had beautiful wife who I latonly been working for this er found out he left after guy for about 3 months a botched plastic surgery and had never spoken to disaster. I never got more him outside of work. But details on what exacthe invited me over and I ly happened to her but it felt obliged because I was sounded horrible. young and didn’t know any better. The pot cookie hadn’t kicked in yet but that We knocked on the front didn’t stop me from diving door and no one answered. in. I mostly stuck to the

good stuff while my girlfriend helped herself to a carrot. My boss then emerged from out of nowhere, creeping up behind me and squeezing my shoulders like he liked to do. It was weird and uncomfortable to be manhandled but I was on his payroll which meant I took it like a professional. He offered us drinks. We graciously accepted. This was my second mistake, which I’d make again within 24 hours. He gave us a tour, waxing about all the expansions


to the house he was planning. (They never did. It was her house. And after he left her, he moved into an ugly condo in the valley). It was then that I noticed there was no one else there except us. I asked where everyone was. He said they were coming. Turns out he only invited six people. Luckily four of them showed.


hen the cookie started to kick in as he showed me how all his (her) exercise equipment worked. If the cookie did one thing right that day, it was reveal my bosses true bro-ness. He was European and had an accent that made him sound smart but that day I found he was anything but. Maybe that’s a harsh judgment but I don’t think I care. This dude put me through hell for the year I worked for him.

ers I’d never met and would never see again. Then he led back inside where I ditched the beer for a glass of water. For whatever reason, my boss had chosen me as his bosom buddy for the day. We sat down in the living room on his white couch before a massive transparent glass table. There was a soccer game on TV that he was financially invested in. Every few minutes he would jump up and yell at the TV which just added to the overall uncertainty of the afternoon.

hear was everything else happening, the four other people outside, the soccer game on TV, even my girlfriend pretending to listen to my bosses wife’s story in the kitchen. It was surreal and disconcerting but I just kept nodding my head to whatever was coming out of his mouth.

At this point two things were going through my mind, one, I really wanted to put my glass of water down because I was losing any concept of how hard I was holding the glass. I was equally afraid I was either going to crush it in my hand because I was holding it too tight or I was going to let it slip through my grasp because I wasn’t holding it tight enough. Only problem was the table was also glass and I was scared that I’d put the glass down too hard and break the table. So I did the next best thing and put the glass on the floor under the table. Smart thinker.

It was time to escape. I made the sound a bird makes when a human emulates a bird call: CAW CAW. My girlfriend heard it. As did everyone else. I smiled at them to play it off but I was deadly serious. It was time to go.

Anyway, cookies are kicking in, I’m trapped with my boss in his gym that he’s really excited and proud of. My girlfriend has vanished and there are only four other people milling about this big stupid house. Did I mention the cookies were kicking in. Also I was still nursing a beer. The second thing going through my mind was the That’s when things start- fact that even though I ed to get weird. could see my boss talking to me, I couldn’t hear Boss man introduced me anything coming out of to the other four co-work- his mouth. What I could

Eventually he got up to use the bathroom. I looked around and started to freak out that everything in this house was white. The floors. The walls. The couch. Even the TV.

My girlfriend excused herself and we made a run for it. Literally. I took her hand and for ten seconds I was Tom Cruise out running some Mission Impossible shit.

When my boss asked me the following Monday, what happened to me? I told him I drank too much and got sick. He reminded me I only had one beer. Apparently he had been keeping track. I told him I was a lightweight. He seemed disappointed and luckily never invited me back. So just to recap: Rule #1. Don’t go to you bosses houses high on pot cookies. Rule #2, don’t drink alcohol if you’re eating edibles. That shit does not mix. The roll of cookie dough lasted us another month. Each subsequent encounter made the last look fun but I can assure you, while the memories are humorous, the actual events were quite haunting. I love weed but you have to be careful. Those cookies almost resulted in me getting fired, getting arrested for leaving an Indian restaurant without paying and almost dying behind the wheel. Twice.

Once we made it outside I immediately felt better. We got back to my car, I started the engine, put it in drive and then drove straight into the car in front of us. It wasn’t bad. Just a fender tap. But it was clear, I couldn’t drive. We listened to NPR for three hours until I felt cognizant. 86

BEN PARKER KARRIS KINDLAND Senior Editor / Los Angeles

I Ate an Entirely 'Medicated Meal' and Didn't Die

How to eat pizza, get high, and not die at the same time.


ou’re going to want to get those today, if you really want them,” *Jane tells me. “We sell out of most of our edibles pretty quickly, but those in particular have been going really fast.”

bud. For others, any munching associated with weed normally follows a hearty smoke sesh. Where baking and cooking calm the nerves and offer a sense of tranquility, the routine methodical preparation involved in smoking cannabis— grinding up the flower, rolling a joint, Jane is a budtender at Hollywood High loading a dab, torching the nail, packing Grade, a medical marijuana dispensa- a bowl—is a seemingly therapeutic part ry in Los Angeles. I’m being indecisive of the process. on an edibles purchase. To my credit, she was referring to a 4-pack of peanut Delicious and divisive, for some purists, butter cookies infused with 25 mg THC “medicating” with food that would othin each one. But the choices were seem- erwise be classified as junk, if not for the ingly limitless: Cookies, crackers, cereal, presence of THC, is just too much of a chocolate bars. stretch. “I’ll go with the brownie bites,” I say.

It is possible to manufacture edible Most of us have a curious relationship forms of THC and CBD to aid in various with edibles. Some cannabis enthusiasts treatments without any psychoactive efprefer almost exclusively to eat their fects. To a lesser degree: one could cer-



tainly craft healthy dishes infused with cannabis. However, by-and-large, “medicated Chex Mix,” “Weetos,” or just good old fashioned weed brownies are far more likely to be sold at a dispensary than a fresh kale salad, served with hash-oil vinaigrette. One cause for edibles aversion is an inconsistency in potency among the myriad forms of chewable cannabis on the market. In Vancouver, British Columbia, the sale of them has been banned entirely. And earlier this year, after eating too many edibles, an Ohio man phoned the police fearing for his life. That is some intense internal conflict to face after snack time. Bob Eschino, of Denver-based edible brand Incredibles, told NBC News that his concentrates regularly test at about 99 percent THC. Traditional flower comes in somewhere between 15 and 20 percent. This leaves interpretation for expected outcomes. The consumer can anticipate anything between a Snoop-Dogg-stateof-mind and losing their sanity and clothes in public—like that dude who put out the KONY2012 videos. Heavy dice to roll. Like all aspects of the quickly-becoming-legal cannabis industry, this uncertainty is expected to clear up as innovations enter the infused foods sector. As lab-testing of cannabis products becomes 89

the norm, mass-produced edibles, no matter how unhealthy, will come with labeling indicating just how high you’ll get—if you’ll get high at all. Dixie Elixirs, a Colorado-based organization, develops THC-infused products that establish standardized and repeatable results. This approach likens cannabis consumption to coffee or spicy foods: Measured amounts of caffeine and capsaicin deliver predictable effects each and every time. It’s much more aligned with any “medicinal” processes than say baking Rice Krispies treats with cannabis butter in high school with your friends. Which, don’t get us wrong, is awesome. I digress. The inconsistency and unreliability in potency and abundance of sugar has me concluding that edibles just aren’t for me, for now. Which is why naturally, like any inquisitive journalist on the weed beat, I decided to eat a meal composed entirely of cannabis-infused food. To shop for such a feast, I visited a local dispensary and picked up edibles offering a “medicated” twist. What I found was plentiful, branded with cleverly worded weed puns, and likely to give me the ability to feel colors.

7:30 PM: Snacks

8:15 PM: Appetizer

I’m a snacker. At family gatherings, as I inhale hors d’oeuvre, I’m reminded by my relatives that, as a child, catching me without a bag of Goldfish or pretzels in hand was a rare sighting. Always having something savory on deck has carried over into early adulthood. I didn’t want to dig into any of the main event while I was “cooking;” so I knew I would need something to nibble on in the meantime. Enter: Flaming Hot Weetos. These guys taste just like traditional Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, but with a hint of weed; delicious in the way that only something so terrible for you can be. The bag even resembles the Frito-Lay produced original, with the exception of a green (and presumably stoned AF) version of Chester the Cheetah belching flames. Classy. A serving of eight Weetos delivers 150 mg of THC, with three servings per pouch. I put down about 10 Weetos as I prepared the rest of the meal.

At this point, the only noticeable sensation I experienced was a tingling tongue. To quell the flames, I knocked back a 16 oz. bottle of Venice Cookie Co’s Cannabis Quencher—a fruit punch that contains 72 mg of THC. Unfortunately, the stuff tastes much like Kool Aid made from bong water and NyQuil. Can’t say I was much of a fan of the flavor, but at that point, I knew I had crossed over a cannabis-infused threshold and became fully invested in this article.

Now, I’m a connoisseur of chicken wings: Never have I met one that I wouldn’t at least try. I knew these wouldn’t be legendary, or even as good as the shitty wings you buy from chain pizza restaurants; so I limited myself to three. The oil-infused sauce tasted only faintly of the herb, and stuck nicely to each wing. But I still felt nothing. This is part of the reason why I rarely enjoy edibles: Where smoking Stoned Level: Could rea- cannabis or taking dabs sonably write and deliver offers instant gratification, a speech on behalf of the eating it kicks off a long D.A.R.E. program.


period of anticipation.

somewhere between a delivery chain and the stuff Stoned Level: Mostly just that was served in my high full. school cafeteria. It was edible. And also, an edible. Which reminds me: About halfway through my second slice, I began to notice it. Just a creeping buzz at first, nothing too intense. There was no doubt in my mind that this pizza was giving me the feels.

9:30 PM: The Main Event Still not feeling much, though determined to eat a dinner composed entirely of edibles, I removed my personal-sized Stoned Oven OG Pepperoni Pizza—infused with 250 mg of THC—from the oven and cut it into four slices. The cheese was bubbly, the crust golden brown: This looked like your average frozen pizza. I applaud its makers on presentation and assembly. This thing could be sold on grocery store shelves if it wasn’t loaded with bud. And it wasn’t bad. In today’s ubiquitous pizza terrain—where it comes on bagels that can be eaten anytime, and also as chips and from Subway—I’d rank this particular pizza

Stoned Level: Would be down to watch any and all episodes of Discovery Channel’s Planet Earth.

10:30 PM-11 PM: Dessert and After Glow After finishing the pizza in its entirety, I put on some music and washed my dishes. I was definitely feeling groovy, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I was “high” just yet. I knew the edibles were taking effect, but I began experiencing more of a stomach ache from the greasy pepperoni and salty Wee-

tos than any sort of enjoyable buzz. I touched up the photos that accompany these words and powered through the final course: A 50 mg THC brownie bite. Cute, sweet, delicious, and again: kissed by cannabis.

I woke up the following morning to a notification on my computer screen from Hulu, asking If I’d like to continue watching Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse. I don’t remember turning it on. I haven’t overslept, in fact, I’m up Stoned Level: Sophomore earlier than usual. And I year of high school, shitty don’t feel hazy or stoned, weed, beneath the bleach- just tired. My stomach is ers with your buddies. no longer in knots: I made it out alive. Up until this point in the day—in the name I’m still not the biggest fan of science—I hadn’t yet of edibles. As I scan my smoked any flower can- room and take in the day, nabis. I wanted to be I see the half eaten bag completely sober when of Weetos open and exthe effects took hold so posed on my desk. I don’t I would actually notice think I’ll be pitching any them. Now, a few hours stories involving edibles in, I assumed the worst in the near future and, was over, chalked it up as for the most part, I probanother case of unpredict- ably won’t eat any. But I able edibles only taking can’t pretend that my aura me to second base, ditched wasn’t purple as hell the my scientific method, and entire time I was asleep. sparked up a bowl. Whatever that means. . .. Am I still feeling it? Are Stoned Level: those new shoes? Are we still in L.A.? *Name changed at request of source.


For lovers of great stories and good weed.


This article was originally posted on 12.07.2015. The New Smoker has republished this article with kind permission from Kindland. Images: Smokin Hot Weedos from, Pizza and Brown Fried Chicken Wings Creative Commons license via Pexels , Chocolate brownie - Creative Commons license via Wikipedia




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