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The New Smoker


Bringing class to grass™

If you have comments or with become a contributor for the next issue email: For a free online subscription send us an email with subject “NSNews” to: info@the Get The New Smoker Magazine on your iPad® or tablet! Visit Or download the free OzApp Reader for best viewing of The New Smoker Magazine.

The New Smoker President and Publisher Editor-in-Chief

S.G. Clarke

Managing Editor & Design Director

S.G. Clarke

Art Directors

S.J. George Ram Folger J. Crane

Photographers Executive Editors Contributors

Follow The New Smoker on Facebook® & Twitter® 2

Online Magazine Issue No.1 April 2014 S.G. Clarke

Ana Yazdi Photography Soren Gray S.G. Clarke S.J. George Daniel Freedman A.H. Black Soren Gray Clark Greene Frank Lauria Dyson Bronti Anthony Polcino K. Anderson Christopher Pappas Christine Spehar

All contents © 2014 The New Smoker. The New Smoker is not associated with tobacco or any of it’s related products. The New Smoker magazine is published and distributed by The New Smoker does not condone or endorse any illegal use of any products or services advertised herein. All materials are for educational purposes only. The New Smoker recommends consulting an attorney before considering any business decision or venture. We take no responsibility for the actions of our readers. A number of characters and images appearing in this magazine are parody, satirical or fictitious. Any resemblance to any persons, living, created, or dead, is purely coincidental.

The New Smoker



THE END OF SATIVA? Are we seeing the demise of the pure strains?




A FIRST TIME 18. One man’s journey into scoring pot in the ‘50s HOW TO PICK YOUR POT An easy guide to choosing the best cannabis for you.


GLITCHES A Fiction of Truth


MUNCHIE MAYHEM 28. Healthy alternative snack recipes. STIMULUS 30. A graphic short comic that may melt your mind. ALONE WITH KYP MALONE: TV on The Radio goes hiking in the Hollywood hills.


MARIJUANA MANNERS 10 top tips on pot etiquette.


MUSIC AND M.J. 45. Exploring cannabis in the creative process of making music. STRAIN REVIEW The infamous Jack Herer... is it all it’s smoked up to be?


WOMEN IN THE WORLD OF WEED A look at how the weed world portrays women.


4:20: TIME FOR “THE ADVENTURES OF RUBY” 53. One fan’s experience of the best ever Sci-Fi movie for your mind EASY EDIBLES: 56. Some simple recipes to make some delicious canna-treats at home! HOW TO BE A PRODUCTIVE POTHEAD 60. 9 guidelines to keep frequent pot participators high functioning. A DAY IN THE LIFE... ...of a pot dispensary Budtender.


LAST PUFFS And the credits roll...

65. 5

W W W. B I N G B A N G N Y C . C O M BING BANG JEWELRY, NEW YORK @bingbangnyc #bingbangnyc

The New Smoker

The New Smoker

Notes from a New Smoker Welcome to first issue of The New Smoker Magazine, Bringing Class to Grass. When I pack my favorite pipe full of some fine fresh fragrant flowers of carefully chosen cured cannabis, I like to sit back, take a few puffs of the good green, and savor the tingly taste of that sweet smoke in my full cheeked mouth. I then slowly pull the canna-cloud in and let it slip down my throat and into my eager lungs. Merely moments later, the big buzz begins to blend it’s way through my blood, body, and brain. My world warms. My mind breathes out. My sensitivity nob cranks up to 11. I’ll put on a favorite album. Say it’s a sunny Sunday afternoon, so some João Gilberto, or Marvin Gaye, or Pinback. And sweet songs I’ve heard so many times before, now sound so full and fresh. All the more alive. The music moves into my mood and claims the moment. It fills in my feel for the day and sends me on my merry way. I am baked, stoned, blazed, goneto-Narnia, and I am loving it. I crank up the stereo and blast into bliss. Now, every New Smoker has a different way of enjoying their favorite bud, whether by bong, by joint,

by spliff, by vaporizer, by tincture, or edible. But every New Smoker has one thing in common, an appreciation for the finer side of cannabis culture. A New Smoker savors cannabis in ALL it’s attributes, appreciates its finer qualities, explores the enriched world it opens up around us... every time we choose to partake. These days it’s become no longer taboo for more and more people to enjoy a toke or two to relax after work instead of a glass of scotch. Or to hear of someone’s aging grandmother, or sick cousin who has had some major life improvements through the use of medical marijuana. Weed, Pot, Marijuana, Cannabis, Grass, Kind Bud, whatever you want to call it, is having a culture revival. It’s evolving in leaps and bounds, especially now that it’s no longer tethered by the pot-prohibition propaganda that’s been force fed to us for over 80 years. But the cool cat is out of the bag now... and it’s staying out to play. A New Smoker isn’t someone who smokes weed like a crack fiend in need for a quick fix, or like a drunk shaking through the DT tremors wait-

ing for the 8am bar to open. A New Smoker is someone who appreciates the deeper aspects of not only the canna-culture, but Culture itself: Art. Literature. Music. High-larious Movies. All of it. Just a bit more though the lens of a bloodshot eye. We aspire to change the previously prejudiced cannabis clichés of “hippy”or “slacker” or “thug”. We want to give a voice to that major part of the pot population who aren’t any of those things, who want more than childish “bud porn” magazines and wastoid weed-sites to represent them. So whether it’s your first puff, or your million and first, welcome to The New Smoker: the canna-centric magazine that canna-culturally informs, educates, and then goes out to play for recess. All while unveiling the lesser known sophisticated aspects of the rapidly evolving modern marijuana world. The New Smoker brings class to grass.



The New Smoker

The End of


whether it’s white or red, even much less whether it’s Cabernet or Merlot. And for cannabis the differences between strains can be much more poignant and important for a multitude of reasons. And yet sadly, we are loosing access to the pure

the result of sativas being bred with indicas, as well as hybrids with other hybrids, and whole varieties of different strains have been and are being created with myriads of effects. Some hybrids will lean toward being mostly sati-

By Clark Greene


e all love a good sativa. The rush of inspiration and world-wondered-awe it can give right after the first hit of the day kicks in. Or sparking up and puffing tough that sweet smooth smoke in the middle of a many-houred creative session, re-inspired to dig back into which ever project was starting to lose it’s grip and fade into uninspired boredom. Or the simple giddy headed giggles it gives on a night out with friends. Some call it “Cerebra” for it’s cerebral enticing properties, or dub it “Focusin” like some kind of natural no side effect ADD pill that helps one “focus in” on one task deeply and not be distracted by anything else. Although for other people sometimes it can be a panic and paranoiac inducing high that agitates more than inspires and is to be used cautiously, like coffee or cocaine or sugar. This is why having a clear choice of strains can be extremely important. What works for one person doesn’t always work for another. While Sativas are the day-smoke and pro-active strains, Indicas lean toward the opposite side of the energy spectrum as a night-smoke that tends to be good for relaxing, sleep, and pain management. Indica is sometimes called “Inda-couch” as one would tend to be locked in the couch after smoking a good Indica. One kind of Indica might make a person relaxed, calm, and filled with warm fuzzies. Yet another strain might make another person extremely lethargic, stupefied, and heavy minded.

“People still believe that marijuana by any other name is still marijuana... But that’s like saying all wine is wine, much less whether it’s white or red” And not only do specific strains treat people differently, but some individuals may have many different marijuana needs at different times that only certain strains can help with, whether it be for pain relief, or sleep, or being functional, or inspiration, or simply to enjoy doing the dishes listening to music. Most people still believe that marijuana by any other name is still marijuana, and it’s all basically the same thing. But that’s like saying all wine is wine, much less 10

strains... and the pure sa- va, while others may lean tiva strains, most of all. mostly indica, and yet others hit the goldilocks spot asically, there are just in between the two. three varieties of As there are many differcannabis: Cannabis ent strains of sativas, and Sativa, Cannabis Indica, many different strains of and Cannabis Ruderalis. indicas, one can imagine Ruderalis is the name the amount of cross-bred of a wilder rugged cen- cross-strained hybrids tral Asian strain that au- that have been created to-flowers, meaning it will and fill in the forest of produce flowers based on marijuana strains manits age rather than chang- handled into existence. es in light cycle as Sativa and Indica do. But RudPast eralis doesn’t tend to get one high when smoked. rom the 1970s into Nor does it have many apthe 80s the canparent medicinal propernabis industry in ties, therefore is not really the United States went desired by growers. from a mainly outdoor industry to a mainly inHybrids are now the door industry, for mostly most common type of supply & demand meets strains found. They are technology vs. illegality



reasons. It was these indoor grows, with tightly controlled environments, that allowed smart rebellious college-degreed horticulturist growers to tinker and try all kinds of cross-breeding recipes. At the same time the marijuana decriminalization movement was taking off in Holland, and with it the rise of the “coffee shops” in Amsterdam where, for the first time, one could find a variety of different cannabis strains targeting specific needs, all in one place. So the science of cannabis cross-breeding began to expand in exponential proportions. These designer-strain pioneers took pure proto-strains, or landraces, that were usually named for the regions they came from like “Afghani Kush” a pure indica from Afghanistan, or “Colombian Gold”, “Panama Red”, etc. These were then cross bred into super-strains that were given names by their effects like “Haze”, a mix of Columbian, Mexican, Thai, and Jamaican varieties, which began growing in Northern California in the 1970’s. Or they were named sometimes for their smell, like “Skunk #1”, a sativa dominant cross that breeds Afghani, with Mexican Acapulco Gold and Columbian Gold genetics. Strains were created to be heartier and grow bigger. Some strains were bred to smell sweeter, or others to produce their bud flowers faster. But

mainly the focus was increasingly on THC content levels. THC (short for TetraHydroCannabinol) is considered to be the main psychoactive chemical compound in cannabis. It gives a person a more mental high.

sterdam. Everyone was looking to create the next great strain. This lead to the creation of the next generation of super hybrid strains we know as “sativas” today like “Jack Herer” (named after the late hemp proponent and activist, and author of ‘The Emperor Wears No Clothes’, a book helping to decriminalize cannabis). The strain is actually a cross between Skunk #1, Haze, and Northern Lights #5, and is the parent to many subset strains. Sour Diesel, also a popular “sativa”, is actually a cross between 91-Chemdawg and a Super Skunk/ Northern Lights cross breed.

THC levels have increased from an average of 3%-5% content in the 1970s to 10%-20% content on average, and sometimes even higher, today. Making today’s marijuana much more potent. CBDs, or Cannabinoids (of which there have been found 5 common sub-variants, so far) are attributed to the more body-high, or physically felt compounds, that tend to be good for relaxing Naturally a grower and pain and are general- would like to grow the ly more medicinally used. highest quality plant he can, but even more imporBut since CBDs don’t tantly (or more capitalistigive you the “high” they cally) he wants to produce weren’t bred for specifi- as fast and as much as he cally, and hadn’t really in- can, getting more harvests creased in percentage over per year and getting paid the years, until recent- that much more often. ly. They are now being So of course growers are explored more for their going to tend to turn tomedical value, especially in cannabis medicine for “The rise of these ailing children. This way designer super hythe kids don’t get the high brid strains has but get the health benefits meant the breeding of cannabis. out of the original



hen growers found they could cross breed slowyield high THC content sativas with faster-yield indicas and get hybrids that both grew fast and also were higher in THC, it created a great boon at first for the cannabis industry as the quality of cannabis increased exponentially, especially in California and Am-

pure proto-strains”

wards producing the faster growing indicas and faster growing hybrids, rather than to sit and wait for the slower sativas to bloom. This is the application of the classic economic principle of “Turn & Burn”.

The New Smoker been said that there are no pure strains out there, and when you go to your local dispensary, or dealer, or “coffee shop”, your favorite sativa is really a sativa or indica dominant hybrid. You are more likely to find a pure indica out there, but even that is becoming a thing of the past.



lthough the pure breeds are being interbred out and with them their specific unique qualities, there is an upside. The mad scientists that bred us into this problem are in a way, breeding us out of it. The science of cannabis is growing just as fast the marijuana industry is today. More and more research is being done into what the 85 unique chemical compounds, found so far, in the cannabis plant are and just what each one does. Combine that with modern canna-botanists years upon years of breeding experience, and more and more specific strains are now being designed for very specific needs. CBDs, previously thought less of, are now being deeply looked into. Even high CBD/ low THC content none-“high” inducing strains are being bred for purely medicinal reasons to help with things like extreme childhood epilepsy (as seen in the recent Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s report about marijuana on CNN called “Weed”), as well as major advancements is aiding Crohn’s disease, and even possibly curing Cancer.

We now find today people who grow cannabis, grow primarily indica One of the newest trends and hybrids. It has even in growing has been to 11

The New Smoker bring the wild strain Ruderalis back into breeding for it’s fast auto-flowering properties and cross it with Sativas and Indicas to produce quicker yields that don’t require a change

“The question remains are there any real 100% sativas actually left?” in light to induce flowering. This makes it ideal for fast back-deck any-season home growing, and are said to produce seed-toflower yields in as little as 10 weeks. Though the plants tend to grow short and the yield is generally much smaller.


e seem to have cross-bred our cannabis into extreme domestication, like we cross-bred ancient tamed wolves into the multi-breed dogs of today. And just like those dogs, these hybrids now come in many forms and perform many functions. But the question is, what of the “wild wolves”? What of those original pure-bred buds? The landraces. Are we losing them in our mad dash to design the perfect strain? Do we even still need them?

draces, are beginning to be warm cozy bath. There are now searched for in ear- strains that will impart to nest. you a hint of the method behind the madness of the The need for creating universe, and strains that new ever better strains has will give you that deep caused certain adventur- sleep that you haven’t had ing seed sellers to go to the since you were a baby. source and seek these Landraces. The documentary But these are mostly all series “Strain Hunters” the hybridized domesticatshows the owner of the ed darlings we’ve come to Green House Seed Com- know and love. pany, the notorious Arjan Roskam, and his canna-co- Think of a hybrid like an horts, searching out these orchestra of strains playrare landraces to make ing a swirling symphony his seeds stronger and re- and beautiful as it can be, introduce lost, forgotten, it can be hard to differenstrains into the market, as tiate the various instruwell as try to create next ments. A pure sativa is new great strain. like a solo violin playing one pure melody that lifts “Think of a hybrid and lilts and lingers itself like an orchestra on smiling lips.

of strains playing a swirling symphony... A pure sativa is like a solo violin playing one pure melody” The question still remains: are there any real 100% sativas actually left?

Durban Poison is one of the few supposedly pure sativa strains still out there right now (though it’s debated whether it’s 100% sativa). But it’s pretty hard to find, and when it is found it’s generally Yes we do. We need expensive, or more often those proto-strains. Too falsely named. much cross-breeding will dilute out pure breeds, he world’s weed and variety is necessary. shops are full of There needs to be the pure some amazing desource strains that con- signer strains; strains tain their unique attrib- sweet as strawberries, utes unhindered by cross- stinky as Brie cheese, purbred factors. And some ple as grape soda, crystalgrowers, highly aware of line as a lollipop dipped the fading out of the pure in sugar. Strains that will strains, are starting to do make your whole body something to preserve the buzz 30 seconds after Originals. Wild regional smoking. Strains that will cannabis plants, the lan- relax every muscle like a 12


and easy DNA identifier that we can drop a bud into and it spits out the name of the strain we desire.



pparently there is hope in sight. Or rather the hope is in “smell”. It’s called Terpenes. Terpenes are the smell traits that make up your favorite strain of Cannabis. The are found in all plants. They are what makes a rose smell like a rose. They are even thought to contribute to the overall effect, both medicinally and physiologically. In fact, the synergistic and various interactions between the cannabinoids and terpenoids, deemed the “Entourage Effect”, is he trick now is not what ultimately differentionly to find the ates one strain of medical right kind of hybrid Cannabis from another. just for you, which not only takes personal reMost importantly they search and experimenting can be used as specific at this point, but you also scent identifiers. So by then have to make sure the analyzing certain terpene strain you get at the shop combinations, not only is the actual strain they can it be determined a rose say it is. is not a pot plant, but the terpene markers act as acAt this point many shops curately as fingerprints do test the strains they sell when identifying specific by sending them to labs, strains of cannabis. like Cannalabs, which test for a dizzying variety So now with terepene of cannabinoid content. testing one can accurately They list they can test know if what you’re smokCBC, CBD, CBDA, CBDV, ing is acctually Durban CBG, CBN, THC, THCA, Poison or Sour Diesel. and THCV, not to mention test for molds and other Now all we need is microbs. every pot shop and every dispensary in every counAnd though this testing try to standardize the modis important in determin- ern marijuana strain tests ing medical effects and to include all these facstrength levels, it’s not ex- tors, and then maybe, just actly helpful in telling us maybe we can finally have the exact name and line- what every self resepcting age of a specific strain. stoner searches for: The perfect high. What we need is a quick


The New Smoker

Excerpt from..

Thomas, You Were There

by: Christopher Pappas


homas’ alarm clock goes off. Well, “goes off” is, to be sure, a colloquialism. So I should be more accurate:

ly going off now; for, he continues thinking, I have my alarm set for 8A.M. and that may be the average time someone needs to arise, he continues reasoning, and so, the highest density of alarm/ noise would be around 8AM in the time zone you are currently residing.

The mechanism inside the computer that slices up time based the flow of charged particles reaches the end of a cycle; thusly triggering a electrical impulse to an amplifier which converts the signal into vibrations that move the air next to your ear in a usually ‘unpleasant’ way as to alarm you, or And he smiles to have wake you up. Or in Thomas’ case, most specifically, had such a well-formed simply alert him it is time to get up now. accurate picture of what was really going on in the Thomas is already awake. world right at that moment. For accuracy is an He thinks about the sound, how millions of alarm indulgence that few relish clocks must be “going off” right at this moment. in this day and age. Billions? We have a phrase for No. Probably not. He sets the alarm to rest. [Fig. 1] everything that paraphrases the allusions of Actually, if you really think about it, he really thinks the previous generation. about it, only a small number of clocks are most like14

Ah! he continues, it is like a wave – a wave that starts when the sun first hits the first time zone, at the first stroke of 8AM and then as the sun unzips the earth (not literally, he confirms) and a day pours out, with a choir of alarm clocks singing, rousing people into a frenzy of emotions, reactions, and sadness. Has anyone been happy to hear an alarm clock...? I would assume that everything has happened somewhere at sometime, Thomas. And that’s the dilema, isn’t it? He pushes his blankets off into a static swirl. They’re blended into that crazy brew he knows too well,

especially when he is feeling particularly melancholy, he could distill it down to a perfect drop: one of order vs. disorder. Chord vs. dischord. It…

Maybe I should keep track of the hours? he then thinks. He moves his hand along the bureau; mouthing the numbers as he moves his hand over the carved notches in the It’s just an unmade bed, wood. He then does some Thomas. quick math in his head. He writes: Thomas slowly makes his way down the long Oct. 23rd 2010 (+29 // 486) hallway to the bathroom. The bright florecent lights Let’s see, he thinks, that mixed with a small splash is a +14 day drift since of sunlight pouring into the last measurement, so a the window hit his eyes. total of 486 days shift. Though it blurs his vision, still weary from slumber, The drift is getting wider he greets it with a smile. He pulls at the Velcro strap How nice, he thinks, that that fastens a knife to his I’ve lined up with daylight dresser releasing the sharp again. I wonder what time blade into his hand. He it is? carefully carves another notch into the dresser and Removing his underwear, replaces the knife into its he slowly puts one foot Velcro sleeve into the shower [fig. 3]. Just one. And he pushes He slowly advances down down – hard. He takes his hallway gently placing the ball of his foot and one foot in front of anothtraces a figure 8 around er. the smooth porcelain, applying pressure here and there just to make sure [fig. 4].

The New Smoker This is, of course, a pre- like a monorail, into the caution; he is almost cer- kitchen. tain that there is nothing in his path. No misplaced She stared out the winitem, or a door ajar to sur- dow, almost motionless. prise him – or even worse trip him and perhaps He looks up and says. even seriously injure him. However, one cannot be “Still giving me the sitoo certain, and it is a rea- lent treatment?” sonable precaution to take to make sure the utmost She didn’t/doesn’t resafety spond. Routine is ripe for mistake, Thomas. In the shallow pools of the mudane hide wells of sobering clarity, catatrophy, and truth. Clearing the hallway, he grabs onto the rail that he installed and turns the corner where he then saw a girl. She seemed unaware of his presence, and Thomas returns the favor, letting out a quiet yawn as continues on, holding onto the rail, which leads him,

“Hmmm” he sighs, “We must’ve been in a fight today.” Reaching up, he pulls a box of cereal down from its holder. Laid out in front of him is a bowl and spoon - tightly fastened to the counter. It’s a necessity: for it is always the smallest items that are the hardest to keep track of if you’re not fastidious. He thinks again about alarm clocks. About what is happening this moment.

Slowly he steps into the shower with both feet, and reaches for the water knob. He walks back into his room and walks to his mirror. Stuck on the mirror is a post-it note. It reads:

Sept. 24 2010 (+9 // 457) He moves his hand along the bureau below the mirror; mouthing numbers as he moves his hand over the carved notches in the wood. “Plus 15.” Thomas says out loud (so I’ve included quatations).


The New Smoker I suppose there is no such thing as a “moment”, he thinks, how could one live a life in such a small way? One tile of mosaic to keep in the palm of your hand by forfeiting a fleeting glance at the whole beautiful picture? What kind of trade is that? Thomas, you are doing your best. Even the most diligent of us cannot be 100% accurate 100% of the time. He opens the box of cereal and looked in to see it was half full. He then brings


the open top to the lip of ner and says to her (out his bowl, slowly pouring loud, so I have included the contents out, yet he quotations): doesn’t hear anything. “Get used to it, it was It must be empty now, September 24th today, and he thinks. we are gonna have a lot of them from now on.” He reaches up to the cabinet and pulls a new box down. He tosses the empty / half full one into the -To be continued rubbish, pours a bowl (no milk, for that would be next issue too dangerous and hard to keep track of) and then fastens the new box into the counter. With a weak smile he looked back up to the girl who sat in the cor-

The New Smoker

The Score. A First Time by,

Frank “The Cannoiseur” Lauria


ack in the day, the day being 1958, finding a bit of pot could take a month.

During my college years I had manged to hunt down the occasional (and treasured) joint but like every other seeker the trail often led to delays, excuses, dead ends and the dread oregano. The latter being the ultimate humiliation for the would-be hipster. This all changed when I was drafted out of the Beat scene into the Army. (note: most of the poets and artists of the time were heavily into alcohol) To my surprise I found that unlike the repressed civilian society of the fifties the Army was seething with drinkers smokers and jokers of every stripe. It was there that I came across my first legitimate pot connection. I ran into a young soldier by the name of Frenchy Laboy. Now Frenchy was with it and for it when it came to the Army. A bouncy Latino cat full of energy and enthusiasm. I once wrote an Army poem that included him, the line being “Frenchy runs to feel his feet”. Anyway Frenchy came from the South Bronx and said we could score some pot from his homeboys. So come Saturday off we went to New York in a car full of other soldiers who had paid two bucks each for the ride. Sure enough as soon as we reached his hood we ran into an older dude called Raoul who said he would go look for Bunny. He returned with a young black man who was sporting the first gold ear stud I had ever seen. Now please understand, in 1958 even the most extreme bohemian males did not wear earrings. Most obviously because it wasn’t... manly. However I came to learn that Bunny wore the ring to signify his status as a “diddybop” or neighborhood streetfighter. Which is as manly as you can get considering the fact that he protected his turf with raw fists, perhaps a knife or some highly unreliable zip gun (UZI’s and drive-bys have taken the honor out of gang fighting). Now I had my own issues with it since being a poet was not considered manly by the mainstream. When I was plucked out of the NY reading scene I was nervous about mentioning poetry to my tough, new Army buddies. It was a pleasant surprise to find that some actually liked my stuff. In fact i was asked to write love letters to girls back home by many of my 18

IMAGE: Cover of Frank Lauria’s 70’s occult thriller “Lady Sativa’”

barrack mates. to the South Bronx. BackI purchased a nickle bag from Bunny and we

repaired to the room Raoul had in his mother’s apartment to listen to Charlie Parker and smoke some boo. One J got the four of us very high and I read some of my poems along with Bird to an enthusiastically mellow audience. That night, sitting in that dark, cramped apartment with three strangers from another life, the pot, jazz and poetry dissolved all walls, giving me a glimpse of the bright new world to come.

And that’s how I scored my first nickle bag of pot.

The New Smoker


Copyright Š 2014 Rolla Supply Co |

The New Smoker

How to Choose your Cannabis. by dr. heigh, pthd between two extremes in a Hybrid, a strain with strains roots in both Sativa and Indica, not too sleepy and not too much energy can be a right balance with the right strain.


he strain of marijuana you choose to enjoy makes a huge difference in the way it will make you feel, both positively and negatively, depending on strain strength, your level of tolerance, as well as personal chemistry. This is why it is very important to know what you smoke, when you smoke, how you want to feel, and then choose accordingly. There are a few key components when selecting the right kind of cannabis for you that you should ask yourself FIRST: What effect, or effects, do you want from your cannabis? SECOND: Do you want to use it Medicinally or Recreationally? If you need help from such ailments as chronic pain, sleeplessness, stress relief, relaxation, you would choose an INDICA, (called “in-da-couch” because of its couch locking abilities.) Indicas are higher in CBD, and generally lower in THC con22


Downside: Indicas tend to make one lethargic, heavy, for some even depressed... depending on personal chemistry, on the kind, and quality, of the strain.


f, like most, you want to enjoy it recreationally, then for a fun, energetic, playful, eye-opening time... and/or a creative inspired motivated focused experience, hiking, tennis, listening to music; Sativa’s, or Sativa dominant hybrids, tend to produce these effects.


SIGHT: Different strains have different looks, but all of them should look to have a vibrant, or deep green color, often times mixed with red, purple, sometimes white hairs interlaced throughout the bud. If one can see the trichrome resin crystals glisten like crystals to the naked eye, plus well trimmed so no sun-leaves are still stuck on the bud, then you know you’re on to something.


f you need help with lethargy, lack of focus, depression, need to motivate, etc. you would choose a SATIVA, (called “cerebra”, for their cerebral/mental stimulating properties.) High THC, Low CBD content.

For a relaxing, stress relieving, movie watching, dream inducing, beach lounging... then a Hybrid or even an Indica is the way to go. And as always, remember all effects vary on quality of the strain, and one’s personal chemistry. Trial and error will Sativas are best known teach you much. for mood elevation and increase in need for activity, o with all of these exercise, focus, creativity, things in mind, here sexual drive, motivation, are some qualities to and more. For others with look for in your cannabis: ADD, etc. it can act as an almost natural Ritalin and USE YOUR SENSES help one focus on task. Again depends on the strain quality and also on one’s personal chemistry.


Downside: for some it can be too energetic and overwhelming, especially if one is prone to panic attacks, paranoia, and the like. Some need to medicinally find a Goldilocks zone



This is one of the biggest easiest way to tell not only the quality of the bud you’re getting, but which high quality bud might be best for you if you’re having problems deciding. For Sativas, one tends to smell for more fruity, sweet, sharp, pine-like, tones. For Indica, one smells for earthy, musky, skunky smell. Hybrids can have a bit of both. Beware the bad smells. After a few months bud will age

and tend to get a kind of a stale grass smell to it. When in doubt, go with to your gut. If the whiff lifts your spirits when you take a big sniff, like sniff wine, then it’s probably good to go.



For smoking, The key here is getting the Green Hit. That’s taking the first hit of the bowl, or bong, or joint, or Vape, what have you. The Green Hit is where all the flavor comes through. This is also why it is considered classy grass etiquette to offer your first hit to your smoking companion. This shows you want them to taste what fine grass you have, and it’s also a polite and gracious thing to do.

The New Smoker

6. MIND:

When you smoke your first hit, you will begin to feel it anywhere from 5 seconds, to a couple of minutes. It’s always good advice for the beginner to smoke just one hit, wait 5 to 10 full minutes and then see how one feels and if needed, smoke more until you achieve the desired effect. (This also helps gauge the effects when smoking an unknown strain.)


ow head on down to your local pot shop and get a small variety of strains, at least a Sativa, and an Indica, and a The tastes tend to be simio there you go, a ba- Hybrid, and have some lar to the smells: sic simple guide to fun learning about your how to pick your pot. strains... and yourself. Sativas tend to have a sweeter, sometimes sharp pine-ish note to their flavor.


. TOUCH: The key words to remember for Indicas tend to be earthtouch are “Sticky, Sticky, ier, have a deeper nose, Sticky”. If you pinch a bud and smokier taste. just a little and it sticks to your fingers, you know you’re getting something strong. Those are the sticky resin trichomes filled with THC that’s sticking to you. Other tactile clues are some strains are dense; some are fluffy. Before there were common names, and you didn’t know what kind of weed you were getting, you were just happy to be getting any weed at all. That’s when some took the tactic of “The Denser the Bud, the Denser the . SOUND: when you High”. smoke, it should burn clean and crisply. Beware of seeds! They will snap and pop. It’s not fun to smoke a seed.


Sound side note: Once high, put on music you like, and you will find you love it even more.


The New Smoker

Glitches “No one wants to know the truth, Angel... deep down, no one ever wants to know. ‘The truth will set you free’ is a buncha crap. The truth is cold and cruel. The truth doesn’t care. The truth kills.”

Part 1

by S.G. CLARKE “Do you think she knows?” She whispers, as I slide my hand behind her head to tilt her lips in line with mine. “Does it matter?” I taunt, stopping mid kiss with a quick smile. I pull her body into my chest and shift us together towards the giant bed below. Without warning, she disengages herself from my grasp and twists away from me. She crosses her arms over her heaving chest in a half hearted attempt at modesty. Like some stripper caught half-naked before she’s to go on stage. “Shouldn’t it?” Her words come out quick and cold. I stay frozen in position, like a ballroom dancer figurine who’s partner just disappeared mid-dip. I take a moment to adjust myself. I rise and reframe my reply, “I meant, what does it matter what she knows? I love you, Beautiful.” “Yah, right,” she scoffs. “What, all my sweet kisses and myriad of gifts and oh-so charming words aren’t proof enough?” I wink and put on a sassy smirk, but it’s hard to tell from her blank stare if that helps at all. “No. They’re not proof of anything.” She turns toward the sliding glass deck doors and flips on a tight black leather jacket, with nothing underneath. “Although I do like this...” she says, slipping on her even tighter matching leather pants. She adds the tall black knee high leather boots and completes the sexy-spy outfit I’d bought for her earlier this evening in one of her favorite little Parisian shops down on the Champs-Elysée. She shakes her head slowly with that movie starlet move she has. Her long black flowing hair fixes itself just right.


Opening the sliding glass doors in front of her, she steps out onto the dark wood deck. Her boots clomp too loudly as she strides towards the sun setting into an outstretched ocean. She reaches the end of the deck and settles into a leaning position on the railing. She stares far down the cliff face, hypnotized by the cracked crags fighting back a pounding sea. “I’d want to know if I was her,” Her voice cracks in a distracted brittle tone, “I’d want to know everything...” she drifts. 24

The New Smoker

Image credit: Brent Lynch


The New Smoker Shirt and shoe less, I walk out on to the deck in just jeans and stroll up behind her. Seagull screeches pepper the background sounds of breaking waves. “But you’re not her, so what’s the difference? She probably wouldn’t want to know even if I told her,” I rest my hands on her shoulders and play with her hair. “No one wants to know the truth, Angel... deep down, no one ever wants to know. ‘The truth will set you free’ is a bunch of crap. The truth is cruel and cold. The truth doesn’t care. The truth kills.” I slide my fingers down her arms to her hands and continue, “Truth is a finite fixed point. It’s belief that’s infinite. It’s fantasy that’s freedom. Not truth. When we adjust how we see things, to how we want to see things, we make the world around us... pliable.” I wrap myself around her and press against her. But she stays stiff in my arms. I can tell I’m losing her in my tangent, but I’m compelled to finish this thought.

Must be the Vape. “How’s it go? ‘Facts don’t exist, only interpretations’... or something like that. Meaning, how you see the world, is exactly how it exists... to you. You change your world by changing how you see your world. And when you can begin to grasp that, then you begin to be in control of your world. You, and you alone. And to truly understand that can be a lonely and terrifying thing.” She turns to face me. Those distant seagull screeches undertone her irritation. “You wanna know the real truth??” She revs up, “The truth is you’re too scared to find out what would happen if we actually 26

did what we’ve always dreamed. I’m talking about US... about being together. I’m talking about trying something new. Something we haven’t dared...” She drifts off distracted and turns back to the ocean below. “Whoa, how did this all get so serious? I thought we were gonna have a fun date night tonight.” I lean my lips to her ear and whisper, “Come on baby, don’t be mad. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.” Stubbornly, she stands raillocked and fixated on the sparkling sea, while almost whispering,“But we CAN be together... We NEED to be together...” “What is wrong with you?? You know that can’t happen. This is the only way it works, you know that.” “No, I don’t know that. In fact, I believe something very different,” she uses my own rant against me. Clever girl. I step back from holding her. Give her space, and wander away along down the deck railing. “There is a way... I know there’s a way. He said there’s a way,” she whispers more to herself now. He...? I leave that alone. “It has to be this way, my love. I’m sorry. I wish it weren’t, but all the wishes in the world won’t change a damn thing.” She folds into her own words as if trying to convince herself of something, “If that’s true, then, what’s the fucking point? If we can’t end up together, then what is the fucking point of us living like this??” “That seems a bit drastic, don’t you think?” I turn to walk back. “No. No I don’t.” She stiffens

up straight, like she just came to a long sought after conclusion, and begins to clumsily climb on top of the waist high wooden railing. “Uhhh, what the fuck are you doing?” I quicken my pace back to her. “Please, get down.” “What? Am I scaring you? Does this make you nervous??” Her voice shifts into teasing and playful tones, with a lunatic under tinge. “Yes, now get down. Please.” I close in on her. I reach my hands out. “Just leave me alone. I know what I’m doing” she shoos me and opens her arms out wide like featherless wings. “Seriously, this isn’t a fucking game... get down!” I try and grab her, but she moves just out of the way, knocking herself off balance and almost tips over the edge. “Yes it is. It’s all a fucking game. Only this game plays us,” she say with a giddiness trembling through little laughs. “Watch, I’ll prove it. Here’s some fuckin’ truth for you.” As the last word leaves her mouth, her right leg steps out... “Baby! Don’t!” I yell helpless, reaching over the railing only in time to see her start to fall facefirst towards the broken boulders on the shoreline below. I try and grab her left leg, but she’s just too far away. I stretch out myself as far as possible, but she still falls. “No!” With a kind of focused panic, I somehow will a shift, a change, a stretch, a pause. Time. Slows. Crawls. Thickens. Stalls. Pressure builds behind my eyes, down the base of my skull, and then pushes up and out.

And like a 3D snapshot, she freezes mid air. Posed stiff. Pitched over the edge. Face down towards still waves. Captured. The world dims. I feel a bit sick and dizzy. What... the... fuck?? I try to reach my hand closer to her. The pressure in the back of my eyes starts to stab, and sharp pains shoot through the rest of my head. I breathe. I shudder. I push through the panic and pain. I try to focus on her. Only her. I nudge a shift. A cut. An edit. And slowly, almost imperceptibly, she begins to bend my way. It seems the whole world warps with her, like a balloon blown up till it almost bursts, and she is somehow put just within my reach. Wait... what? How...? Am I Forming her? That’s not possible... I try and shake my head to clear the buzzing in the very back of my brain. Her leg, then her body, peel off the background. The rest of the world deflates and settles back to where it was... without her. The buzzing in my brain grows louder again. The pressure becomes too much. My focus starts to crumble and fade... My head starts to throb like every blood vessel is about to burst. I blink. Twitch. Detach. A switch flips, and a rush of sight and sound hits me as everything kicks back in full speed. The wind, the waves, the seagulls, my shout.

Dizzy and caught off guard, I grab for her ankle now within reach. But she kicks at me, tags my fingers with her toes, and slips away from me. Shocked open, my eyes follow her tumbling down and down, closing in on the rocky shore. Then, with a quick tight roll, she spins to face me. With both hands blazing, and eyes full of fire, she flips me off mid air. And in the prelude moment, a beat before she’s to hit the jagged rocks, she flashes a smile like she knows something I don’t... and blinks out of this existence. ----------To be continued next issue...

The New Smoker

So They Go.... The Album Available on Spotify or iTunes or purchase the CD at: “This is the most underrated rock album to come outta LA in recent years” -D.Robles.


The New Smoker

Trail Mix


1/4 cup cacao nibs 1/4 cup dried mulberries (or raisins) 1/2 cup raw almonds 1/2 cup raw cashews 1/4 cup sunflower or pumpkin seeds 1/4 cup goji berries

The fun of smoking something sweet and eating something even sweeter is one of the wonders of the weed world. But the extra pounds aren’t always asked for. Personal Chef K. Anderson gives us some delicious and healthy alternatives. -Editor

Directions: Mix all ingredients in a bowl and enjoy! For a Salty addition: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix raw almonds with a teaspoon of olive oil (or melted unsalted butter) and salt to taste. Place on a baking sheet and bake for 5-7 min or until toasted. Spicy: Same as above but substitute cayenne (a small pinch depending on spice tolerance) for salt. Sweet: Sames as above but substitute agave (1 tablespoon) for salt and oil. Substitutions: You can add or remove any ingredient to make it to your taste.

Gluten-free Vegan Quesadilla. If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous and fulfilling try this gluten-free vegan quesadilla.




ave you noticed all those classic stoney snacks have added a little extra padding to your waistline? If you are ready to find some healthier alternatives to a brownie or bag of over processed chemical filled chips to snack on after smoking a couple bowls, I have some great suggestions for you.

2 gluten-free tortillas (I use brown rice tortillas)

Instead of going for a bag of chips why not try some Trail mix. Make this whichever way you prefer sweet, salty, spicy, or all of the above.

Preheat your quesadillas maker or pan over medium heat. Place the tortillas on a plate and zap them in the microwave for 30 seconds.

Whatever suits your fancy.

Spread 2 tablespoons of tomato sauce on each tortilla. To assemble one quesadillas, spread half of the red peppers on half of the tortilla, top with one cup of spinach and sprinkle with half of the cheese. Carefully fold the tortilla over (so you have a half circle) and place it in the quesadilla maker.

2 cups spinach, chopped 1 red bell pepper, thinly sliced 4 tablespoons thick / chunky tomato sauce 1/4 cup vegan cheese

The New Smoker

1/2 cup applesauce 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour Close the lid and let it grill for 3 – 5 minutes, or until the tortilla is crispy and the cheese is nice and melted.

1/4 cup cocoa powder

Repeat with the other tortilla. Cut in half or in mini triangles and enjoy warm or with a touch of fresh salsa.

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

Now for my favorite, the dessert!

Preheat oven to 325° F. Line 8X8” pan with parchment. In a large mixing bowl, combine the jam, milk, sugar, applesauce, and vanilla. Add in the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, and baking soda, but don’t mix it yet. Melt the chocolate chips in the microwave, and add to the unmixed batter.

Brownies You don’t have to skip the sweets to stay healthy. As with most of of life it’s all about moderation. Here’s a great recipe for brownies and fun way to experiment with another use of cannabis. 10 ounces jam (I used raspberry) 1/4 cup hemp milk 3/4 cup sugar

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

2/3 cup chocolate chips

Now mix it all together. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 45 minutes. Cool on baking tray before serving. 29

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Alone with Kyp Malone Taking Big Steps Up Small Trails.


land my big black beautiful 1967 Thunderbird on the gravel pullout in a bend on the rolling road. I park to find myself at the top of the summer browned hills of the hidden Glendale super-suburbs.

Based on actual events


staying while they work on the new TV On The Radio record “Seeds”.

ment are everywhere. Keyboards, pedals, random amp gear. Various acoustic and electric guitars seem to be in every crevice and corner.

I run into a scrappy hip Williamsburg-type musician-girl coming out of one of the house’s side doors. I ask for Kyp. She casually leads me in I climb out of my car, through the kitchen side cross the empty road, door and in to Dave’s and walk up Dave Sitek’s hybrid home: a full time steep little driveway to music studio, only dressed the tiny turnabout, thank- as a house. ful I’d parked below. This is where Kyp has been Instruments and equip-

To one side of what I think would normally be a dining room, are stacks of stereo speakers. They vary in size from huge to tiny, all connected to a central Hi-Fi old school stereo staged to play any format needed. A typical seventies sized turnta-

ble ready for the pile of records stacked in shelves underneath. On the opposite side of the room, a roughshod grand piano pleads to be played. But it’s covered by boxes and coats and other assorted items using the piano as a weigh station to some other destination. In the middle of the room stretches a huge reclaimed wood table where Kyp sits putting on his tennis shoes. 37

The New Smoker e big smile “Hi” at each other as he looks up. His bushy beard maybe a bit more fluffed and grey since last I saw him. But his perfectly too big glasses seem to be the exact same pair he’s always had for as long as I’ve know him, almost 20 years. He stomps his 2nd shoe on and stands so we can we dig into our traditional big bear man hug. It tends to turn from friends giving big love, into a game of who can hug the hardest and the longest... and still mean it.


guitars on the hardwood floor against the wall. Keyboards, synths, organs, and devices I can’t name, big and small all set up and ready to play. A house filled with music to make music. And this is just one part of the house… there’s a whole other side with hallways hiding rooms made to make more music.


alking as we walk, we reminisce about living SF in the 90s. Back when we were all just a bunch of young emerging artists in our early 20’s on the rise in the proto-hipster, just-gentrifying Mission District of San Francisco. We were doing our damnedest to make our mark in the world in one tiny way or another. But we were trying to do it as “underground” and “post-punk” as possible. Because to us “pop-culture” was a dirty word, and not the good kind.

ability to make something shocking, challenging seem poignant... and kinda adorable. The band’s music was similarly challenging, weird, out of bounds, and yet somehow, dare I say, sweet.


he band came out of the 90s Bay Area “Noise-ist” scene. To the untrained brain, one might hear a big clumShould we get going?” sy clash of instruments Kyp asks. I want to played by dudes who uge hug complete, see more of the house, didn’t seem to care to Kyp leads me around this is every musician’s play with any finesse or the house a bit so I can home-studio dream, but melody. But when in fact catch a glimpse of where it’s time to head out and it had more of its roots in the “magic happens”. go hike the hills of Hollyack then, we were Free-jazz, Zappa, punkIn musician terms, this wood. stretching our rerock, and Da-Da. “Rocket means the recording cently parent and college Science”, for short, were rooms. Off to one side of e cruise out the liberated selves in every basically 3 art-music the living/dining room door, walk down which new way we could. dudes pushing sonic limlurks what looks like the driveway and jump We tested the boundaries its with garage-rock gear. was the lounge. It’s now into my Lady T. After a of ourselves and of the turned into a dark mess monstrous roar of her world around us. Those lmost 20 years later, of a master control room. V8 engine starting, we were dark and delightful Kyp’s finds himself Filled with a huge track- wind back down the road and deadly days, filled almost on the other side ing console/mixing board and out onto the freeway with the mischievous and of the musical spectrum topped with computer heading to the fire roads toxic adventures of the with TVOTR pushing screens. All on top of and dirt trails of Griffith Heroin Chic and Darlings playfully into Pop music. what I assume is a giant Park. of Speed, and anything And he’s not scared to desk under all that gear. else to push us to the edge go there. For him it’s just Behind the big board are 0 minutes later, I pull and leave us with one another art form. It’s an a bunch of microphones us up and park just foot dangling over it. We Andy Warholian view of left in various shaped mic- before a trail that leads definitely didn’t wanna the music world. “Pop stands. They look like so along side The Greek to do anything considered Music as Pop Art.” There many stick figures drawn Theater and up to the “safe” and “normal”... as is a true art to crafting a into sad stiff angles, wait- Griffith Observatory. I you do at 22. good pop song. It needs a ing to be adjusted and put pull out my pocket Vape sound structure. A memoto good use. for a quick little pre highiking across a switch- rizing melody. An upbeat king puff session. Then back, we get around tempo. And of course that o the left of the we step out into nature, to chatting about the art all important addictive master control room nice and noticeably enband he had back then hook. As Johnny Cash looks like a sunroom hanced. It’s a crisp clean called “Rocket Science may have said “There’s turned recording-room. cool winter LA day perand the Nigger Loving nothin’ harder than writDrums set up in the fect for a casual stroll up Faggots.” It’s definitely ing a good simple song.” middle; vocal mics set dirt fire roads. a band name that speaks Good, being the key word off to the sides, amps for of Kyp’s unintentional there.






T 38


I’ve always loved Michael Jackson’s ‘Rock With You’ since I was a kid,” Kyp tells me, “and I’ve wanted to somehow make an upbeat song with the lyric ‘Rock You Baby’ in it. I dunno. Something that’ll make you wanna dance. And I finally worked it up into a dance track for the new album. We’ll see if it makes it in.”

he loves it more and more every time he’s out here. Says he’ll probably even move here in a few more years when his daughter gets old enough for college.

Me: “How did you go

from a band like Rocket Science to one like TVOTR? Short version...


iguring I should start making this more like a typical interview then old friends catching up, I start to run through some more mundane questions as we wind up the hill take us off to a side trail below the base of the obish” that leads a locals-only servatory. spot where people go to Kyp: “After Rocket Sciwatch the live shows at Me: “So how are you ence, I made home rethe Greek for free. The writing most of the songs cordings with more strucinfamous “Tree People” for this album?” ture, actual songs. Then from Neil Diamond’s semI moved to Brooklyn in inal 70’s live album “Hot Kyp: “Mostly on piano or 2000. I didn’t really know August Night”. We talk of keyboard. Then we work anyone. I started workhow Neil Diamond is a it around a cool beat, or ing with Marc Orleans perfect example of Pop as loop, or something we’ve of Spore, and my friend Art. He’s a true artist and programmed on the keyKevin Shay, in a band crafts some of the most board.” called Fall In Love. It was amazing pop songs, as a magical mystery musical well as being a world class Me: “Who writes most of adventure in a lot of ways, entertainer. People of his the songs on the TVOTR but it got to be a bit too caliber are rare. albums?” loud for me, to be honest. So I worked on more he sun cracks the Kyp: “Everyone in the home recordings, worked chill of the LA “win- band is equal. But not on song craft. Then I met ter” day on our faces and everyone gets a song. Tunde & Dave who had we start to break a sweat Basically, the best songs just started TVOTR. They as we climb up closer to- win. We’ve got about 30 were looking for another wards the Observatory. songs written and for singer/musician to add isplaying the beauti- the album now, and will harmonies and more ful view of an outwhittle them down to 10 depth to the band. So we stretched LA below us, to 13 tracks for the final started working together I ask Kyp how he feels album.” and it came together pretabout LA... and when’s ty quickly…” he finally gonna move take a few obligatory here already. Unlike photos of Kyp as we e take a little short many New Yorkers and climb. We take the never cut from one trail to San Franciscans, Kyp has explored left trail instead another. never seemed to have any of the right one, leading of the clichéd complaints up and along and under. Me: “Flash round: What’s about LA. He talks of how your guilty pleasure song






The New Smoker right now?”

Kyp: “Rhianna. ‘Stay’ “ Me: “Right? What is it about that song? Hauntingly simple. I’m with you there.”

Me: “What’s your favorite Thin Lizzy song?”

Kyp: “Don’t Believe a Word.”

Me: “Nice! Good answer.

There’s a slow version they did on the Live/Life album that was more the way they wrote it originally. So good. Phil Lynott is a songwriting god.”


he trail creeps up steep and shows us the observatory’s concrete underbelly...

Me: “So what’s it like

with the ladies on the road... a rock n roll fantasy?” I wink.

Kyp: “Ha! I did better when I was a barista” We laugh.


e start to find ourselves hiking up some treacherous terrain as the trail seems to run out into the hillside landscaping.

Kyp, a bit out of breath: “Ummm, are you sure we should be going this way?”

Me, panting: “Uhhhh sure. ...ish.”


The New Smoker fter some slips and struggles, I pull us sweating and swearing to the top of the hill. We find ourselves just under the observatory’s outdoor cafe dining area. It’s full of tourists snacking on an afternoon meal. We leap over a railing here, and jump across some stairs, stares, and glares there. We then slip through one of the auto closing doors and find ourselves inside a tactile galaxy full of stars. We’ve entered the bottom floor of the observatory’s big science room.


much we would weigh on Right? That was pretty each planet... cool. She came up while you and I were talking Me: “What else have and was super sweet, but been doing besides museemed distracted because sic?” apparently she had just lost her phone. And just Kyp: “Well I recently as we were trying to help finished making the video her find it... she takes one of our latest singles her coat off her arm and “Million Miles” writing there it was, in her hand it myself, and co-directed the whole time. She was it with my friend Natalia so embarrassed, it was Leite. I’m really into mak- adorable.” ing movies these days. It brings together so many Me: “Ha! That was the of my creative passions... best. I think she was suvisual, musical, words, per baked.” story. It really is a magical process. Vision come to Kyp: “So were we...” Me: “As one of the more life.” successful Indie (for lack Me: “Good times. That of a better term) bands e stroll up to the leads me to a related quesout there, is all that rocksecond level where tion... Music and marijuastar money just pouring shooting stars are on dis- na for some people can go in?” play... The Meteor gallery. together like PB&J, complimentary forces. Is that Kyp: “Ha. No. It’s a true for you? Does it help sustainable band. It keeps you create?” itself going through tours and merchandise. And Kyp: “Not really. It we’re lucky to have even brings out my inner critic that in these difficult too much. I like it more music world days. But for relaxing. Or... hiking. we don’t tour as often Although, One of our as we should to propel newest tracks we’re workit as much as I’d like. ing on is definitely all That’s one of the reasons about the good herb. It’s a I formed Rain Machine, reggae influenced, TV On and play with Ice Balloons Me: “What’s one of your The Dub Radio-style, elecas well as play shows tro dance track. Definitely favorite moments as a under my own name. Not ‘famous person’? Met any some serious smoking only to have a place to went on for that one. Prob cool celebs?” I hint. put out my non-TVOTR won’t make the album songs, but also keep my- Kyp: “I think know what though.” self playing and touring in you’re talking about... You the off seasons.” e wind up the ramp mean when Jessica Alba with the galactic was introduced to me e walk around the after my Rain Machine time scale from Big Bang solar system weigh show when we opened for to now rolled out along stations telling us how the side of the wall. Only The Pixies here in LA...


W 40


we’re walking it backwards, from where we are today, to where we came from.

Me: “What do you think

the 90s punk-ethic ‘Rocket Science’ version of You would say about your success. Would he think it’s cool? Would he think you’ve lost it and sold out somehow?”

Kyp: “You can’t call

someone a sell out just for having success. And these days even less so with the things bands have to do to just to survive out there and actually make some money to keep going. If a band can get their music on a commercial that pays them more than they made on their last album, more power to them. Getting your music into people ears is the most important thing. If your able to make money doing what you love, then you can count yourself lucky.”


e reach the beginning of time and the bottom of huge stairs leading up. We climb to the top, and head out, and around, and up. When end up on the observatory roof that houses a giant telescope to touch the stars. With beautiful views all around, we get caught up like the other tourists taking photos at every turn of head. The Hollywood sign beckons behind Kyp and I can’t help but take a shot.

The New Smoker e laugh and head It’s getting late and time back down and to head back to the studio inside the observatory. We house so they can being pass the inert Tesla Coil another late night session. between spark-shows. We wander a bit around the Me: “Pretty nice way to pendulum exhibit. Then get out in the world, eh?” we head out through I gesture to the beautiful the front door. We trace view around the orbits of planets carved out below Kyp: “I really like hikus on the concrete walk- ing up hill. It’s the going ways. Then we start to down I’m not too fond wouldn’t mind... I mean, stroll down the dirt road of... too much pressure on who would??” he laughs. and around the bend the knees.” where James Dean played Me: “Kyp gone Hollyout being a Rebel WithVOTR new album wood... Woulda thunk it?” out A Cause. The sun is “Seeds” comes out slipping into set mode. later this year.


Me: “So you really

wouldn’t mind having a Top 40 hit?”

Kyp: “Of course I



The New Smoker

Marijuana Manners 10 Top Pot Etiquette Tips Here are 10 simple rules of things you can do to not seem like a total rookie when you start to consume cannabis with others:

THE GREEN HIT. . PACK THEN PASS. 1. RESPECT 2 The Green Hit is the best hit. That’s where all Whomever has the weed packs a bowl and then the best flavor comes from... the first taste or two.

passes it to the guest.... to the left if there’s more than one other person. (The receiver may opt to tell the host they can go first.)

. PUFF, PUFF, PASS. DON’T PACK ON BLACK. 4 3. When restarting a new bowl, always empty or finIf it’s a packed pipe, or a joint, take a couple of ish the last bowl before repacking for an untarnished Green Hit.


good hits then pass it along, to the left. Bong hits are usually given as “smoke all of it”, but some areas do it differently and share bowls like pipes.

Image credits: Tesco Living, Wisconsin Historical Images, Northern Treads, Red Room, blorpy, Tradition in Action

The New Smoker Magazine

SMOKE, PASS, THEN CHAT. . CLEAN YOUR PLATE. 5.Take 6 a hit and then pass it, especially from a joint When offered a bong hit, finish the bowl you or pipe, before you get lost in the randumb story you just had to say. Never leave the next person hanging who is usually being too polite to ask you to hurry the F up.

are given. If its too big, you can either: take out; or ask for less. Never leave a burnt bowl behind.


WHEN & WHEN NOT TO SMOKE. 8. KNOW Learning when and when not to consume


If alone, only pack as much as you’re going to smoke. That way you get a fresh green hit every time.

cannabis is an artform that can take time to learn. And knowing what strain to smoke at what time of day is an even finer art.


The New Smoker

YOUR CANNABIS. 9. ENJOYING Don’t just fiend your weed like some booze

hound who can never get enough. As with wine, Let yourself enjoy the smell and flavor and effects of the fine smoke or vapor as you take it all in.

BE GRACIOUS. 10. Thank the provider for the good grass, as any good guest should.

(If you’re alone, this is optional.)

The Auntie Dolores Mission:

We promise to provide patients with a suitable alternative - or adjunct therapy - to their current medical treatment. Auntie Dolores is Consistent. Effective. & Delicious. Our award-winning products are sure to satisfy, no matter then ailment, tolerance level or nutritional need! 44

The New Smoker

Music and MJ


he mixture of music and marijuana is not exactly a surprising combination of elements. In fact since the beginnings of jazz, blues, and of course rock’n’roll, one would one not be wrong to assume if someone participates in the dedicated use of one of these, they do the same for the other. However, the effect of these two ingredients on one another, although nearly unanimously agreed on by those familiar with it is a positive experience, is not always the same. For those that tend to engage in this mixture purely for personal enjoyment, it’s one thing. Be assured there’s nothing wrong with this concept, as it’s the reason this topic is even worth discussing in the first place. Yet for those that are musicians themselves and have been able to utilize this famous mash-up for productive results regarding their creative output, the aforementioned “enjoyment factor” is arguably on a whole other level.


’m (newly) thirty years old. I’ve been a musician for as long

as my rational mind has been worth knowing. For me, that was around sixteen. That’s also about when I actually started to become what my peers at the time would consider “good” at playing the guitar. I played both electric and acoustic, but for the sake of being able to play anytime, anywhere; acoustic was the weapon of choice when it came to making sure my chops were appropriately exercised. I wasn’t quite aware what I was getting into the first time I tried smoking marijuana through an aluminum can (not recommended mainly for several health related reasons, not to mention dignity related ones) a couple years earlier, that much later on this burnt toast flavored ash I willingly breathed into my prepubescent lungs would have such an important impact- and much better taste- on music I was going to make nearly fifteen years later.

singer and a songwriter. Sometimes I’m just one or two of these things, and sometimes I’m all three at the same time. I’ve relied on each of them for fun and for income for the last six years. It’s a privilege, an annoyance, and a lucky break. At this point, I try not to ask why making music or having any involvement in music in general for a living is so essential to my mental well-being. When you figure something like that out early on, my advice would be to follow it. I understand it’s much easier said than done, that at least some kind of positive reinforcement is helpful along the way to t the present keep yourself steady on moment, somesuch a walking-the-tightwhere in April rope career choice, but 2012 for anyone that may that’s where the issue of be reading this from the luck I mentioned earlier future, I’m a guitarist, a


comes into play for me.


round November of 2010, I began the writing process for what would become my second offering as a solo artist. It’s a guitar driven, early 1990s shoe-gaze rock inspired EP entitled “Stay Pretty.” The way I would differentiate my songs from the ones I’m referring to in that beloved cult genre is, and with all due respect to many of my favorites that fit into that description, are the actual songs themselves. I know if you happen to be familiar with any material from that ultra-specific style you may be thinking “of course you like to wash out your music under oceans of reverb after you blaze, man.” Yes, on less productive days, this 45

The New Smoker can be a fun sonic experiment. That being said, when placing a little more emphasis on a lead vocal and lyrical content, an actual song (verse, chorus, bridge, theme, etc.) combined with the inspiration from this aesthetic is helpful. I would say it’s the only way to make using this aesthetic in a more pop based song structure truly listenable. This became my goal in attempting to finish “Stay Pretty.” Whether I really achieved it or not I’ll leave to the discretion of the respected masses. A.k.a., you, dear reader.


etting back to my point, if there really is one, is the reason we (I) started talking about this from the beginning: the age-old recipe of music and marijuana. During the thick of the writing process, the material in question tends to occupy a lot of conscious and unconscious brainpower. Oftentimes, putting too much of this brainpower into making music can garner over-rationalized, contrived, or just plain bad results. Now, I’m aware of what some of you may assume I’m getting at with this statement. Something along the lines of, “is he really about to claim that by smoking weed you use less of your brain and make better music?” If you thought this, don’t 46

be so smug. Be that as it may, yes, I am in a way saying it worked like this for me on this specific occasion, and in no way would I claim this is a surefire way to make the best music you’re capable of making. If that were true, there would be far too many good records to even keep up with. If you’re interested in the details, which may not be wrong for me to assume since you’ve read this far, the particular strain consumed during this period was named “Green Candy,” (formerly known under the less enticing moniker “Green Crack”) and it’s a full sativa. Night after night, even after an evening filled with social activity and convincing myself I was too tired to work on anything, my mixture of music and marijuana proved to be a fruitful one. I was able to put in the hours and find the focus to not only work on but also finish the Stay Pretty EP. By finish I mean write, mix, master, and release. The full finish. In all honesty, it would be a bit naive of me to think that the consumption of Green Candy during this time had absolutely nothing to do with this. There were plenty of ideas or parts that weren’t given the chance to be over-thought. During the creating of anything, the process is up to the creator. I prefer to not


dwell in one place for too he “Stay Pretty long, or the original inEP” as well as spiration could slip out of other material by your mind as fast as a fish Soft Pipes is available on in your hands. iTunes at: http://itunes. an artist of any pretty-ep/id465218507 kind, the volume and is also available for of self-doubt streaming on can be deafening when Spotify. making choices about the smallest things in your Go to: http://www.softwork. For those of us for more that choose to dig a little up to date info on all deeper and find out for things Soft Pipes. ourselves what works for us, we may not achieve everything we set out to do, but we do find out one invaluable thing: pins, stickers and iphone what doesn’t work for cases available! us. The “Stay Pretty” EP For prices email: was a turning point in my solo career as an artist, a guitar player, a songwriter, and hey, it didn’t hurt my finances either, as many of the songs were used several times on television placements and helped pay the bills. I’m proud of that work, and it’s out there forever now no matter who is listening. Believe me, I’m well aware of the many negative and clichéd nuances in the connotation of the topic here, but I had help saying what I needed to say then with the aid of weed. So I suppose all I’m really saying here and now, to the idea of mixing music and marijuana, is... thank you.



- Pipes Softy, Anthony Polcino

“Cuz it’s awesome! ...ish.”

The New Smoker

A Review of a Classic


his peppy perky piney sweet Sativa-dominant hybrid is a favorite of High Functioning Stoners everywhere! It was named in honor of amercian cannabis actist giant: Jack Herer. He was the author of “The Emperor Wears No Clothes”, a book which has been used in efforts to decriminalize cannabis. Herer also founded and served as the director of the organization Help End Marijuana Prohibition (HEMP). The hybrid lineage of Jack Herer is a specific blend of Skunk #1, Haze, and Northern Lights #5, and has now become parent to many other sub-set strains. The sharp pine, almost cat-pee-but-in-a-good-way, smell is generally the first thing that one notices when opening a fresh bag of Jack. The next thing to notice is the light fluffy touch of the big sticky buds. Usually the bud is bright green

with yellow with some red hairs. The taste is like the smell, a sharp pine sweetness lingering on the tongue. The first feel is a warm tingle of the beginging of the buzz, leading into that rush of sativa energy Jack is renown for... in fact it’s generally used as a sativa because it’s major sativa dominant qualities. That energy lasts and lasts til it settles into a casual background buzz Some call it Focusin as it is a gret strain to use when one needs help to “focus in” on any task need doing, like an herbal Ritalin. It’s also great for cleaning the house, going on long hikes, and most any other high energy activties. Think of it as a better coffee of the weed world. Great for digging in to the deed, but too much can be panic inducing and cause some possible anxiety accents. But over all it is a favorite for the worker bee’s of the bud world, and a top pick for the High Functioning Stoner that needs to get it done! 47

The New Smoker

Women In the World of Weed. by Christine Spehar


he male stoner stereotype, however inaccurate, is what informs consumer weed culture in general, and is part of what makes women’s place in the world of weed ambiguous at best, and demeaned at worst. But the times are changing, and so it’s (ahem) “high time” we explored the perception of women within the marijuana industry and its inevitable evolution.



n the name of science, let’s do a quick experiment. Without thinking too much, what’s the first image that comes to mind upon reading this statement: Women and Weed.

Raise your hand if you conjured up one of the following: a laid back stoner chick entrenched in some versionof couch lock; a blissed-out hippie sparking up at a concert; or a bikini-clad hottie lounging in a bathtub full of nugs (don’t tell me it didn’t occur to you). Whatever your inclination, we can all agree that there is some cultural confusion surrounding the characterization of the female smoker, and the female marijuana industry professional at that . For better or worse, male depictions are pretty standard and can be summed up in one hyphenate: the slacker-stoner. This bears its own set of unfortunate stereotypes, and the steady stream of Judd Apatow films isn’t helping (despite the indisputable fact that James Franco looks really cute in a beanie).


onducting a rough survey of my personal network, women I know who smoke regularly include a PhD-holding professor at USC, a political organizer at a prominent medical clinic, a lawyer, a manger at a book store and a financial industry specialist. These women are very different from the ones we probably imagined during our opening experiment, and are definitely different from the oversexed “booth babes” who constitute most of the female population at any weed convention, for example. The fact remains, however: in an industry that revolves around (and frankly worships at near goddess status) a female plant, women still find themselves predominantly on the sidelines, in the same tired roles society’s been serving up for decades: sexual, domestic and subordinate with less pay and less power. “Contemporary cannabis culture

The New Smoker is at once delightfully libertine and deeply sexist,” writes sociologist Wendy Chapkis (Humboldt Journal of Social Relations, 35, 2013). Indeed, one needs only to peruse the pages of High Times to see bongs nestled in faceless cleavage, or search Craigslist to find Northern California pot growers offering women more money to trim weed topless, to know that sexism is alive and well in the weed industry.


LOOK BACK: We Be Pimpin’. Let’s start with a brief history lesson of what sociologists call “underground economies.” Whether your reference point is a textbook chapter about the Prohibition Era or reruns of The Wire, one thing is clear: from the ground up, women’s roles and experiences in drug culture are very different from men’s.


istorically, the paradigm of the male outlaw as is a fact: “baller, shot-caller,” anyone? From the mob bosses of the 1920s to the dispensary owner of today, men almost exclusively fill the power roles in taboo economies. Intersectional feminists (read: scholars who investigate how social constructs perpetuate female inequality) have documented and analyzed gender division in deviant cultures for decades, but

it’s best summed up by sociologist Karen August, who writes, “Gender roles in drug economies have generally portrayed males as the center of power [ballin’] and decision-making [shot-callin’] and women in the industry as ineffective business operators, victims in their involvement or as powerless girlfriends enticed by the lavish and hedonistic lifestyles of male operators.”


ROWING UP. Today, the weed industry is still saddled with these discrepancies, and it starts at the ground level, with the cultivation of the plant. Several northern California-based scholars have conducted in-depth studies of the local marijuana growing culture and have found women to be marginalized at this stage of the supply chain.


n her study of rural marijuana production in northern California, August finds, “Women are generally pushed into the tedious jobs of growing, tending crops, trimming and clone work…none of these particular tasks bring high wages, prestige or positional power…The major players in the marijuana industry are males and the resultant market structure is not conducive to female success. Rarely are women encouraged to set up and maintain their own operations.” In a survey of Craigslist ads seeking marijuana trimmers at harvest time, August finds several of these ads to be sexually explicit in nature, often asking specifically for female trimmers, and offering them more money for working nude or for being willing to perform sexual favors.


ere are a few examples, via August: Girl Trimmer needed. Date: 2011-11-02, 1:19PM PDT - Reply to: removed. “Need a good-looking trimmer that is Dtf*. And oPen minded, pay is great, lots of work, again need a good looking girls that’s Dtf*, mid 20’s guy here, good looking and athletic build, blue eyes, come work this week, worker needed asap Send pic and info or no response, also let me know availability next few days, thankx. “


ady trimmers sought Date:2010-10-20, 4:02PM PDT. Reply to: removed. “Hello thereseeking new trim ladies. previous help got greedy and lazy... maybe over-endulged. looking for new help, topless extra. haha great pay otherwise......2-3 per depending on exp.. but may train the right girls. call call now will only be in town for a few. or leave


The New Smoker message will be back on town in a few . looking for self starters looking to earn or earn and learn call soon wont last (541)removed.” • *Urban Dictionary will tell you DTF means “down to fuck,” i.e.: willing to have sex.


got 99 PROBLEMS…..but a bitch ain’t one.” It turns out Jay-Z was referring to a drug-sniffing dog* when he wrote those lyrics, but they can accurately be applied to the transport and distribution of illegal drugs as well. When it comes to moving marijuana, men are traditionally at the helm. In her research of the Humboldt County weed economy, August finds, “women were not found to be in positions of authority,” and that “where women do assume dealer roles, they are frequently the middlewoman and, second, they are likely to employ more strategies to avoid detection and exercise a higher level of caution than their male counterparts.”


peaking with August during a phone interview, she was careful to qualify her findings. “I don’t want to imply that women are more concerned about their reputations, but when children are involved in a partnership situation, it is typically the woman who takes the children away from a potentially risky situation, like during harvest time,” she says. With traditional gender roles defining the division of labor in the marijuana marketplace, it is mostly men who manage the distribution and sales of the final product.


ne caveat is “cottage industries,” or the domestic processes that relate to marijuana production, specifically edibles. “It seems at least half the edible owners I dealt with were women. That part seemed to show a female strong side of the industry,” notes a Los Angeles-based dispensa50

ry buyer. *Jay-Z’s book, Decoded, explains that these lyrics refer to a canine unit, a female, drug-sniffing dog. The story goes that Jay-Z was pulled over in the early 90s while transporting illegal substances. He refused to let the police search his car, and because the canine unit never showed up, he got away with the crime. Popular interpretations speculate that Jay-Z is talking about a girlfriend.


O MARKET, TO MARKET, TO BUY A FAT PIG… From brick-and-mortar dispensaries to online publications and national weed conventions, weed is unilaterally marketed to men. But not just any man. Unfortunately for most of the male weed smokers I know, who comprise a thoughtful, intellectual and accomplished bunch, mainstream marijuana institutions have fallen into the trap of pigeonhole marketing. And who resides in said pigeonhole? The slacker-bro. The same guy who shows up time and again in Apatow films. Chapkis writes that this male stereotype “resists the conventional expectations of manhood” and is characterized by a “refusal to work hard and assume ‘adult’ responsibilities.” Whether or not this person actually exists in our everyday realities is up for debate. But his presence in pop culture is indisputable, and it is to him Mary Jane marketing executives cater their campaigns. “The Kush Expo is like any other convention centered around what’s seen as primarily a male interest: Lots of booths, lots of booth babes,” writes Ann Friedman in an article for NY Magazine (Why Aren’t Women at Home in the World of Weed, 2013).


ure, women-centered weed outfits are out there. Norml, an organization working to reform marijuana laws nationwide, has an entire section of its website dedicated to women and women’s issues relating to marijuana., another pro-weed website, has a women-friendly online presence called Women’s Marijuana Movement. But the fact that these organizations feel the need to create digital strategies specifically geared towards women is an indication of the fact that most marijuana-focused communities do the opposite.


ET’S WRAP IT UP. The fact of the matter is, no one knows exactly how much weed women smoke; most data focuses on age demographics, not gender. However, Friedman writes, “ Twice as many men as women say they use marijuana more than once a week. But that stat may not reflect women’s actual usage. “I actually work at a dispensary in L.A. and can tell you there is no question that

The New Smoker 80 to 90 percent of customers are men,” writes a reader of Andrew Sullivan’s blog. “I am equally certain that most of them smoke with their girlfriends when they get home.” Suffice to say, a lot of women smoke pot. Even if it’s half the number of men whosmoke, women still a huge untapped market for the marijuana industry.


esearch indicates that men dominate nearly all “outlaw” activities. Since cannabis has historically resided in that category, the industry surrounding it has therefore catered to men and alienated, objectified and marginalized women. This is nothing new. We can all rattle off male-dominated industries that cater to the lowest common denominator of men; NFL football and hot rods come to mind. (Have you seen the ad that airs during NFL games in which a dumbfounded young man cannot pronounce the word “quinoa?” Good stuff.)


ut unlike American football and muscle cars, marijuana culture in the United States comprises a long tradition of progressive, inclusive

politics rooted in the civil rights movement of the 1960s. And I’ll bet you a bag of the finest indoor chronic that the pot-smoking, bra-burning feminists of Woodstock wouldn’t be down with the way most women feel about their place in the world of weed today.


egalization across several states (Colorado, California, Washington, etc) is making marijuana use more mainstream, more accepted. The industry would be doing itself a favor to welcome women into the fold. Besides the warm fuzzies that come with a little thing called equality, economic benefits would abound as well. The marijuana industry stands to make more money, as well as enjoy a nice boost in its perceived legitimacy within the mainstream marketplace. Subsequent victories for cannabis reform policy nationwide could follow. Women and weed: it’s a win-win, folks.


mage credits: Lead Image : James Franco Image: Snoop Dog Image: Bong Girl on Bed Image: Weed Girl Image : http:// The Nug Image: Rolling Up Image:


The New Smoker

Quasi Buddhist Sci-Fi Remembering Ruby: The Mis-Adventures of a Galactic Gumshoe Fan. “It is Illusion that seems Real, but Reality... true Reality, is like a dream.” - Mustapha, Ruby’s air car. - Ruby: Series #3


oing years without TV can ingrain strange alternate habits in any impressionable child. My mildly hippie parents thought they were doing us a favor by taking TV away for years and getting us to pursue other... well pursuits, I guess, and ween us off the boob tube. All I really pursued instead was how I could stuff in as much TV as possible friends’ houses before I had to be home for dinner. Now I can watch more TV than God.


o while taking TV away only increased my desire for it, to fill the TV void at home, I’d turn on my AM/FM clock radio and tune in directly to the Past, via Old Time Radio. I got hooked on Jack Benny, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow, Sherlock Holmes, Burns and Allen, Our Miss Brooks, Tales of Suspense, Dragnet, The Green Hornet... and so many more of the golden age of radio.

Then there was the newer shows like the CBS Mystery Theatre which always gave me the creeps, just at the sound of the creeking door and the ominous voice of the annoucer simply saying “Good Evening and Wel- conscious as I’d fall asleep come...” . It still gives me with the speaker of the chills. small radio pressed close to my face. This way I could listen to it all way “It was the ultipassed my bedtime and mate movie in our not get caught.

heads. We were convinced by the end of it that everyone HAD to experience what we just went through”


his became a pattern even after we got TV back. I’d still fall asleep to the murmurs of the voices in my radio. Lulled out of consciousness. A ticket on the brain train out of hat was usually my day to day thinking. followed by the I’ve had slight insomnia Comedy Hour, all my life. Or more I’ve with every comedian of always taken forever to go the day: Bill Cosby, Steve to sleep. I’m a night owl. Martin, Robin Williams, All my thoughts clutter in George Carlin, and a ton and clang around when of others lesser known I close my eyes and run comics on the rise whose around my brain stirnames I sometimes rering up trouble that just member. This fed all promote more random kinds of comedic rythyms thinking. Old time radio, and tones into my sub comedy shows, and radio


dramas were the way I’d detach from the thoughts swimming circles around and tune into these stories, these brain movies, and push my mind into their worlds... escaping mine.


hen in my late teens my Uncle Ed introduced me to “Ruby: The Adventures of a Galactic Gumshoe”. It was the sassiest, sexiest, smartest, Sci-fi, Mystery radio adventure series I’d ever heard. It’s all about a sultry galactic gumshoe who can slow time. She’s investigating who’s trying to manipulate reality by manipulating the media. All with a quasi-buddhist, spiritual, tongue in cheek, bent to the whole story. So of course I was hooked instantly! It perfectly blended all the radio 53

The New Smoker shows I’d been listening for years into one epic ear adventure! Originally aired on NPR in the early 80’s as 2 minute serialized new episodes airing daily, during traffic hours to catch the commuter crowd. But Ruby came to me as 4 full length cassettes tapes. Black with pink red writing. Play time, 3 1/2 hours in all.


’d listen to it over and over and over and over... suck it it dry of every drop of deep wisdom it would humorously plop in my head. Everytime I’d listen, I’d learn something new, something I’d missed, or heard/saw something differently.


hrough college dorm-roomates and girl-friends, I’d play the tapes as I’d go to sleep and drift away, whether they wanted to join my brain train or not. At first they’d would wonder what the hell we were listening to. But by the time she got to telling us her name in the first episode, “Oh, my name is Ruby...” (with the robotic chorus echoing behind her “ruby!”), “I’m a Galactic Gumshoe” (“gumshoe!”) “A good one.”(“good oooone”) ...they were hooked.

O 54

ne night, two friends of mine and I, after an

all night acid trip frolic through our small college town (as you do...), headed back to my house. We were in that too tired to move, too high to sleep, part of the LSD multi mind movements.


put the Ruby cassette into the house stereo and told my friends to lay down, close their eyes and get ready for a ride. I pushed play. This time with my brain cells on maxim absorption, I soaked it aaall in... All the subtleties, and nuances, and humour, and questions, and answers, and wonder. It all clicked. It all made sense. Not only the story but as it relates itself to the outside world.


manipulates us in not so ensteins), and of course subtle ways. How we, and our heroine Ruby, and everyone else around us, her sing along echoing create and reinforce for digi-chorus and more sass eachother these basically then you can handle! illusory ways of viewing the world as absolutes. y personal faFrom “Coke is it!” to vorites are Ruby “Jesus is God” to “Gluten 1, Ruby 3 (parts is Bad”. Specific views we 1&2), and Ruby 4, and 9. so adamently take as the But all of them are worth ONLY way. When actually every brain cell tuned into there are as many different them. And they are defimodes of reality as there nitely designed for repeatare people to perceive it. ed listening. I’ve probably listened to Ruby 1 over a hilosophically mind- hundred times, and the ed stuff aside, It’s other series countlessly. really justsimply about a sexy space detecI’ll live long after tive who kicks slimy aliens the author’s dead...” asses by slowing time and Ruby says reflecting firing huge guns blasting on a life as someone else’s through your ears. character unleashed into the listener’s ears. Our ears. irst made for radio in the early 80’s, henever they ZBS studios are now do end up stopup to Ruby 9, as of this arping to make ticle. And though they say them, as they threaten to this is the last series(gen- do every series, (they’re erally for N.E.A. budget up to Ruby 9), Ruby will cut reasons) they always definitely still live on in still seem to be come out me. with another one (with - Dyson Bronti donations from people like you!)





oth of my friends were right there with me. It was the ultimate movie in our heads. We were convinced by the end of it that everyone HAD to experience what we just went through. We had the drug inspired (of course unfullfilled) impossible idea of To find all he Adventures of traveling around with it, Ruby and more goto gathering people, dropach adventure is ping everyone with acid different but the and buy a CD or Mp3s, or and simply change the main characters simply listen to theit quicktime way they perceive reality. are always the same: T.J. episode streams. Teru, techno-archeologist; hat’s what Ruby And/Or, the robo-circus is really all about: engineer, Rodent Kapoor, How we perceive (RodAunt) the rat-faced reality. How we live in fink misfit; the Android our illusions. How meSisters, frank talking dia, for better or worse, Frankies (manmade frank-



The New Smoker

Home Cooking the art of Edibles Cooking is a craft, Cannabis cooking can be an art form.


very good receipe begins with quality foundation ingredients, So let’s start with the most basic:

Canna Butter For light potency: use 3/4 of an ounce of quality dried ground cannabis buds or shake, to 5 sticks of butter. For strong potency: use one ounce of quality dried ground cannabis buds or shake, to 4 sticks of butter. (or 2 oz. of medium quality bud shake) Using a double boiler or two pots, melt the butter on low heat. When using two pots, fill the larger (bottom) pot with water and the top pot with butter. Once the butter has melted, add the weed. As stated above, the amount of weed will determine the potency. Simmer for 20-30 minutes stirring every 5 minutes. Let sit for 5 minutes then strain the pot butter (using cheesecloth) into a small bowl. Once cool enough to handle, pick up the cheesecloth and squeeze out the juice. Cover and refrigerate until semi-solid. And it’s ready to use for cooking!

Canna Chocolate Truffles 12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips 4 tablespoons marijuana butter ¼ cup fine granulated sugar 2 egg yolks, beaten 1 cup finely chopped blanched almonds 1/3 cup liqueur (any flavor will do) Cocoa powder for dusting Melt chocolate chips in double boiler, then slowly add butter. Add sugar and cook, stirring constantly, until the sugar is dissolved. Take two tablespoons of the mixture and add to the egg yolks in a separate bowl to warm them; remove the double boiler from heat. Allow the chocolate mixture in the double boiler to cool slightly, then add to the yolks and stir until well mixed. Add almonds and mix well, then stir in the liqueur. Allow chocolate-egg mixture to cool, and then 56

refrigerate. After it has hardened, scoop enough of the mixture to make 1½ to 2-inch balls, rolling the scoops in your hand to form the balls. Roll the balls in cocoa powder until well-dusted. Serve.

Strength can vary so test your results with small amounts before going onto larger ones.

Bud Brownies 2 Eggs 3/4 c Sugar 1 ts Vanilla 1/2 c of marijuana butter or margarine; melted 3/4 c Chocolate; ground 2/3 c Unsifted flour 1/4 ts Baking powder 1/4 ts Salt 1/2 c Walnuts; chopped Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Using a spoon, stir eggs with sugar and vanilla; add butter. Sift Ground Chocolate with flour, baking powder and salt. Stir into egg mixture; add nuts. Spread into greased 8 or 9” square pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-30 min-

utes. For extra chewy brownies, use 8” pan and less baking time. For cake like brownies use 9” pan and longer baking. Cut into squares. Eat in moderation!

Canna Olive Oil Cannabis cooking oil is a mixture of extracted cannabinoids and any cooking oil. We recommend using extra virgin olive oil, or sesame oil, but if you prefer an oil without a taste or an oil great for baking, try using canola oil. You can cook with cannaoil in any recipe that calls for oil. Ingredients: 28oz (3.5 cups) extra virgin olive oil or canola oil 1oz/28g of finely ground quality marijuana (or up to 1/4 lb. commercial grade) Making the Canna Oil: Pour oil into a large saucepan, preferably a double boiler. Heat on a medium setting, and let it warm up. Do not let the oil boil! This is very important for making quality cannabis oil. Once the oil is hot, but not boiling, you may add the cannabis powder. We have found the best results keeping the oil just on the edge of simmering, but not actually simmering. Stir frequently, and watch for bubbles. If the oil begins to boil remove it from the heat until the temperature is low again and lower the heat! Continue for at least 1 hour. We suggest allowing the bud to soak in the hot oil for about 2 hours. Strain the oil through cheesecloth or a fine mesh strainer and press to remove all oil from the cannabis (make sure oil has cooled enough that you don’t burn yourself!) into a container. You can use cannabis oil in place of regular oil in any recipe! Or use on a fresh pot leaf salad! Using this method, 1 ounce of oil (2 tablespoons) should contain the equivalent quantity of cannabinoids found in 1 gram of marijuana. Use sparingly, and do not start with more than one ounce of this oil. You may eat more as needed, but wait until you know your tolerance! Now with all the cooking done, maybe you can finish your day with a nice Tincture Martini! (Tincure receipe to follow in next issue...)

Photography by Ana Yazdi 57

The Good Taste of Medicine

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The New Smoker



f you’re a cancer patient and reading this, I apologize, but this article is not intended for you. This article is meant for the majority of us who either use pot recreationally and own up to it, or those of us who use it medicinally and deep down know we’re often rationalizing. There are few things I enjoy more than burning (or vaping) at the end of the day to unwind. Whether it’s pairing a sativa with writing, an


indica with my DVR, or a hybrid with yoga stretches, I’m into it all. Thing is, I recently turned 30. I’ve grown to be more health conscious than back when I was in college and I’d rip gravity bongs like it ain’t no thing. I’m confident there are many people who enjoy pot AND lead a healthy lifestyle. I bet many are often conflicted when attempting to juggle both. You don’t have

to give up the former to enable the latter; it’s a matter of being smart and having some semblance of willpower. You may not agree with everything I say here, but here are some simple things that I (do my best to) follow in order to remain a healthy, productive person who enjoys the herb from time to time:


The New Smoker




4. EMBRACE MINIMALISM he “top shelf” herb you’ll find in dispensaries today is strong. You probably won’t need more than a medium-sized bowl or two to get to a “noice!” place. There’s no need to chain smoke to the point of unconsciousness, especially if you’re over 30 and not a rapper. There’s a point of diminishing returns with toking up, and a little bit goes a long way. You don’t really want to be coughing like crazy and regretting it. You can stop at a slice or two of pizza without eating the whole pie, right? You can do the same with herb. Making the conscious choice to alter our consciousness is a slippery slope with potential consequences that we absolutely need to respect. If we don’t have the willpower to keep our shit in check and know when to ease up on the throttle, we run the risk of abusing something that can be great, especially when used responsibly.

it’s lots of fun to here are so many great t every dispensary, Sandure, get high, sit around Tvaporizers on the mar- Ayou’ll be able to find T binge on Netflix or ket today. From the Vol- cookies, brownies, lollicable. I love to watch the NBA while puffing Blue Dream or Jack Herer, but that’s me. Maybe you’re the Downton Abbey/O.G. Kush type. However, if you haven’t tried cleaning your house while stoned, I highly recommend it. Same goes for doing yoga, meditating, creating art, making music, writing, answering emails, paying bills, cooking dinner, etc. Basically, if it’s not the very end of the day, keep it moving and get stuff done. Don’t be a lazy stoner stereotype. It’s far too easy! Trust me, I’ve been there for long stretches of time.

cano (appliance that rests on your table) to the PAX (portable), vaporizing limits the amount of carcinogens you’re inhaling and also tastes great. (Your lungs will thank you the next day.) While this may not be the case for everyone, too much smoke inhalation makes my skin and overall complexion look worse - esp. in the form of dark circles beneath my eyes. Vaporizing helps limit this undesirable effect.

pops, drinks and more that will each be able to get you higher than you’ve probably ever been before. The upside to eating cannabis is that it’s much healthier than smoking. The downside is that it’s trickier to dose and the high often takes longer to kick in and pass through your system. Follow the recommended dosage on the packaging; don’t plan on driving while eating edibles, and you’ll probably have a great time. When in doubt, err on the side of eating less than the recommended dose when experimenting with a new type of edible.

5. TAKE BREAKS ven if you only go through an 1/8th every month or E two, still take breaks. Weed is known to cause paranoia, self-doubt, over-thinking, depression, lethargy

and a bunch of other undesirable side effects. If you feel like you’re in a rut, even a small one, step away from the green for a few days, or weeks, or months. It’s not going to be the end of the world, and you can always come back to it. Weed’s not going anywhere, and absence makes the heart grow fonder. There’s a tantric aspect to it all, too, with longer breaks between partaking leading to better, more focused highs.


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his one’s so simple and f you’re starting to date es, marijuana is known ure, it’s fun to be creT obvious, yet it’s also Isomeone new, it’s not Yto increase appetites Sative while high, but so easy to break. Don’t get the best time to be getting and cravings for junk food. don’t let yourself get to a high at night when you have to be at your sharpest in the morning! Whether it’s an important meeting, interview, shoot, etc., a good night’s sleep, AM stretches and caffeine are what you need, not to be feeling hazy. Weed may not cause hangovers the same way alcohol does, but it can absolutely prohibit you from firing on all cylinders the next morning. Don’t believe me? Try smoking a gram of heavy indica at 11:00pm, then see how you’re functioning at your 9:00am client meeting. If you’re able to operate at full capacity, more power to you. I couldn’t, and knowing that I got in the way of me bringing my best self to an important meeting would lead to me feeling frustrated with myself. Not worth it.

high too often. There are so many new emotions at play, it’s almost always best to keep things simple and chill with the herb for a bit. Be present and allow yourself space to feel real feelings without the added complexity pot can bring. I’ve personally overthought new relationships to death, and it’s not a fun head space to be in.

While it’s fun and delicious to enjoy tasty treats from time to time, don’t let being high serve as an excuse for for gorging on shit. Stick to a healthy diet. Your body will thank you, and you’ll feel much better about yourself in the long run.

point where you must be high in order to be creative. If you’re a writer, pot can be great for thinking through concepts and seeing things from different perspectives. If you always need to be high to write, however, your writing can easily lose focus. It can feel like there are too many cooks in the kitchen and your work can easily lack in regards to intentionality. Your best writing will almost always come while you’re sober and focused, and deep down you know it. If you must, take a few tokes over the weekend and punch things up between drafts. A similar approach worked for George Carlin; it can work for you.


n conclusion, these are guidelines that work for me. Marijuana can be loads of fun and super relaxing, though it can also be a slippery slope. It’s easy to overdo it on a regular basis and find yourself feeling less happy while sober. Not only is this a bad place to be, it defeats the purpose of toking up in the first place.

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day in the life... of an L.A. Budtender.

By Sean O’Kief 9:00 A.M. - Woke up to alarm. 9:20 A.M. - Got out of bed.. 9:30 A.M. - Took hit of Jack Herer (sativa). Woke up even more. Brushed Face. Threw on yesterday’s clothes with a fresh shirt. Ate a banana. 9:35 A.M. - Rode bike 5 blocks to work. 9:40 A.M. - Got to the shop. Unlocked outer gate, front door, main door. Turned on computer, lights, camera monitors, a/c. Checked phone messages. None. Tom, co-worker, arrived. We turned on music. Pandora on “shop-shuffle” list. Brazilian samba played. Good start. 9:45 A.M. - Checked stock. Filled a few jars on the display counters that needed topping off. 10:00 A.M. - Opened outside gates. Turned on “Open” sign. Wait... 10:15 A.M. - Doorbell rang. Buzzed in first customer. Megan. 23. Coffee girl from down the block. Checked ID. Checked current doctor’s recommendation on computer. Buzzed her in main door. She got an 1/8th of her favorite we’d just got in last weekend: Cinderella

‘99, a sweet musky floaty uplifting sativa. Bagged it. Rang it up. $50. Sent her on her way. She grabbed some free candy from the candy jar and a soda from the retro coke fridge on way out. 10:45 A.M.. - Doorbell. Buzzed in 2nd customer. Ray. 38. Disneyland employee, sign shop specialist. Regular. Goes straight for his usual: 2 1/8ths of Jack Herer (sativa), plus 3rd free, as per our special daily deal. Needs to pick out buds himself. Poured jar into bowl, gave him chopsticks, and watched him find his favorite mugs. Rang him up. $120.

Latina mom (3 1/8ths Grand Daddy Purple - indica). That tall kid who’s barely 18 gets a gram of shake with his allowance. The Japanese-American businessman-type regular gets his usual 3 1/8ths one of each, sativa, hybrid, & indica, (morning, noon, & night, we say). Then some new member and a few others Tom helped. 1:30 P.M. - Went out to shoo away some bum from begging for bud outside shop.

2:00 P.M. - Slow time. Bong hit: Green Candy uppy sativa. Fascinatedly filed new member files alphabetically in office for 11:30 A.M. - Slow bored, an hour. tired. Bong hit time: more 3:00 P.M. - Picked up staff Jack H. Suddenly motivatlunch from local vegan ed. Sat in back and worked Thai place. Walked. Sun on recycling container felt good. There aren’t vials by peeling of strain any windows in the disname labels. Washing. Set pensary. Brought back to to dry. eat. We started to eat and 12:15 P.M. - Lunch rush. chat, then bell rang. (Al8 people came in during ways when we’re eating their breaks: The smiley lunch) and 3 more people flower store girl down the come in. 2 regulars, and street (daily joint - blend). then One new member The neighborhood re- signed up and came in. cord store owner (1 1/8th She was a “fresh off the Dutch treat - sativa). The boat” new transplant hip-

ster-esque girl from Texas. She was suuuper excited and understandably overwhelmed by the variety and quality of weed as well as the many edibles and concentrates. I gave her “The Presentation” as we do for all newbs. This consists of explaining difference between Sativas, Hybrids, and Indicas, and all their subsets, and allowing them to take whiffs from the jars to smell the differences. The jars are ordered left to right on a sliding scale from sleepiest Indicas, like Grand Daddy Purple, to the most jazzercise-able energizing Sativas, like Jack H and Durban Poison, with even keel Hybrids right in the middle, like Headband. Still overwhelmed, she left up to bud tenders choice. So I gave her the starter kit, what I call the poo-poo-plater, one of each kind. Sativa (Jack Herer), Hybrid (Headband), and for indica, Skywalker OG. All my personal faves. I suggested when and where and how to try each one and send her happily on her way. Went back to fin63

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ish cold Thai food lunch.

of the heaviest of indicas for her back pain. Paul: writer, 1/8th Sour Diesel. Miguel, neighbor, gram of the happy Hybrid, Purple Trainwreck. Not to mention all the other people Tom helped at the other counter.

4:20 P.M. - World Weed Smoke Time. Already still baked from last binger, but in honor of the moment, I puffed a quick snapper of Jack H to keep me going. Slow. Label containers to keep busy. Watch Breaking Bad on Netflix. 7:30 P.M. - Slow-time. 6:00 P.M. - After work Bong time. Stack and label rush. Danny, shaggy hip empty 1/8th vials to fill rock musician, 1/2 oz of shelves for rushes. Jack H to work mixing an Album. That quiet halfAsian artist girl, name I always forget, that smiles and never says much, gets my trifecta: 1/8th of Jack, Headband, Skywalker. Marcia, middle aged Latina mom, office worker, an 1/8th of Master Kush, one


income, selling to friends. Then Emily, friend/regular came in to just pick up a gram of Sour Diesel Hash. Then just hung out to chat for a lil while, as she generally does.

day’s recipes. Washed up any random dishes. Vacuumed shop carpets.

10:30 P.M. - Tom and I double check everything. Turn off lights, computer, set security code, run out 9:30 P.M. - Started to re- door, lock gate, and ride stock bud jars getting home. ready to close at 10pm. Of 11:00 P.M. - Bong hit of course everyone comes in Skywalker OG to chill out right then. Last minute and take the day off me. I rush of a few stoners try- shower, relax, and fall into 8:30 P.M. - That sweet ing to get stuff before we a dumb fun movie and get older gentleman with the close. ready for another day of sunken eyes and ashen 10:00 P.M. - Closed gate. wonderful weed work toskin came in. He gets an Turned off sign and front morrow. ounce of Skywalker almost room light. Finished reevery other day. He swears stocking. Restocked canhe smokes it all. And he dy and soda’s too. Re- PS. I love my job. looks like he might be able moved jars from counter. to, but I tend to think he Sprayed, wiped down uses it as supplemental counter while Tom did

That’s it folks...


The first issue of The New Smoker Magazine.

e most sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed our effort to shine a little “grow light”, if you will, on the majority of modern cannabis culture, and show how the world of weed isn’t full of dirty druggies, but in fact is just like purveyors of fine wine, or micro-brew connoisseurs, or even foodies. We “Cannoisseurs”, we bud-aficionados have a culture just as deep and delicious and deserving a voice. e New Smokers, replacing the old tobacco “smokers”, are an emerging open element in this new common tapestry we all call community. And we are only becoming more so with every anti pot prohibition law overturned in every US state, and counties all over the world. e proud to be Classy Cannabis Consumer. Be proud to be A New Smoker, and help us bring class to grass!



Features: The 7 Wonders of the Weed World! Why Get High? To Vaporize or Not To Vaporize? Class vs. Crass: More Marijuana Manners Of course, the continuing adventures of mind bending fiction... Plus profiles, insights, interviews with some cool cats... and more! If you’d like to rcontact us at The New Smoker, or contribute to future issues with stories, questions, letters, ideas, business thoughts, please write to info@ or click “contact” at:

The New Smoker Team would liked to give a heartfelt Thank You to all who made the first issue possible!


The New Smoker Magazine issue No.1  

The New Smoker is a cannabis-centric cultural magazine bringing class to grass. We aim to add sophistication and depth to the ever evolvin...