September 21, 2023

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LEV LA IS HOME, AND THE GUESTS ARE FAMILY.

Dear Readers,

It was my first year married, I was davening at a shul for Rosh Hashana on La Brea Ave, having just moved back to LA two months before. My hostess was intensely bawling into her siddur. I knew she had married kids and younger kids. I knew she was crying for them. I wanted so badly to cry, but I had nothing to cry about. Life was too good.

A decade later I also had a number of kids, there was so much to daven for them, but I could not cry. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. Was I not davening hard enough? Did I not care enough about them? I prayed for their health, success in Torah, good characteristics, prosperous future, for Hashem to lessen their struggles… my list knew no bounds. But I couldn’t cry. Life was hard at times, but mostly good.

A few more years, life is harder now, I’ve suffered some things others have luckily not had to endure… But I couldn’t cry. I wanted the tears to come so badly, but they didn’t come.

Then I started to think about other people - one who was newly diagnosed, one who needed a shidduch, one who lost a parent too early, one who yearned for a child, another who lost a child. And then I cried. Because I wanted them to have what they wanted, I wanted them to have comfort, because I was davening for Hashem to answer their tefillos. I wanted to cry for myself too. But I couldn’t. I continued to feel the deep pain of others, and knew for them I could cry.

If only we could use this tremendous power, of truly putting ourselves in another’s shoes and feeling their pain. I said this years ago, a weird statement I know, but I rather go to a house of mourning than a simcha. (Unfortunately I’ve been provided too many opportunities as of late). It’s because I want to be there with them and feel their pain so they’re not alone. When someone is celebrating a simcha, there’s usually no shortage of who will celebrate with them. When someone is suffering or in pain, a lot of people shy away. They can’t tolerate seeing

Shabbos Zemanim

others in pain or they can’t tolerate their own pain experienced when witnessing someone else’s pain. I guess I watched my mother be so empathetic, so I learned from her. She was always there for everyone, always one step ahead by anticipating their needs before they had to ask for any help. But I understand, it doesn’t come easily for people.

Avinu Malkeinu is my favorite tefillah. We are viewing our relationship with Hashem as two different roles simultaneously - one where He is King and another where He is our father. Kings are scary, they make rules, they have power, and they are superior to us. And that’s why unfortunately, so many Jews today, religious and nonreligious, have a fear of G-d, instead of love. But true and influential power comes from love, from a father. And that is always how I like to view my relationship with G-d. When we all share the same father, we can see other Jews as our brothers and sisters. I care more about my family than the other citizens of a kingdom. When I view Hashem as my Father, the result is that I view other Jews as my family.

When it comes to approaching G-d, as our King or as our Father, it’s imperative that we approach honestly. The only way to do this is through humility. I found Elan Javanfard’s article on the connection between the 12 steps of addiction recovery and the steps of Teshuva to be highly insightful and refreshing. Most women are inspired by Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi’s rousing speeches that stir up inspirations from deeply within. In this week’s article, she writes of the 13 Middot HaRachamim, stating that when we recite these to Hashem, we will never be ignored. Hashem’s love for us is eternal, and we return that love to Hashem when we use the 13 Middot HaRachamim.

Wishing you all a meaningful and heartfelt Yom Kippur; May you each be sealed in the book of life and bracha,

Friday September 22 Parshas Ha’azinu

Sunday September 24

Yom Kippur

Candlelighting: 6:32 pm

Havdallah: 7:27 pm

Rabbeinu Tam: 8:02 pm

Candlelighting: 6:29 pm

Havdallah: 7:24 pm

Rabbeinu Tam: 7:59 pm

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Magen Am Graduates New Class of Community Team Members

A Happy, Sweet New Year from Spivak Hebrew!

On Sunday, August 27th, Magen Am celebrated the graduation of its newest class of Community Team Members! These graduates recently completed their intensive 100+ hour training course and are now joining Magen Am’s growing team of trained and licensed community members, who have taken it upon themselves to serve as protectors of our community.

Among those in attendance was LAPD Commander Jon Tom, who received the Magen Am Community Shield Award for his unwavering commitment and valuable contributions to the security of the Jewish community.

If you would like to learn more

about Magen Am or have an interest in joining their Community Security Team, please visit MagenAm.com or email admin@magenam.com

In preparation for the upcoming Chag of Rosh Hashanah, Spivak Hebrew Academy Middle School students presented different symbols, simanim, of Rosh Hashanah to the preschool children. The students became the Morot, teachers, and showed the Early Childhood all of the different symbols of the holiday, from apples and honey, to round challahs, pomegranates, shofars, dates, fish, leeks, and carrots. The Middle school students took turns explaining the different items and their important meanings. These included the apples and honey to represent a sweet new year, and pomegranates to represent being fruitful and multiplying, as well as a reminder to perform Mitzvot every day, as the pomegranate has 613 seeds akin to the 613 Mitzvot of the Torah. The students then joined in a sing-along of Rosh Hashanah songs and dances together. The presentation culminated with Rabbi Elias, Head of School, blowing the Shofar for the students, learning each of the different

sounds, including Tekiyah, Shevarim, and Tru’ah.

Additionally, the Elementary students enjoyed a special Shofar Factory Presentation where they learned and experienced what the shofar is, where it comes from, and how it is made. Students had the opportunity to touch and feel the ram’s horn, which is where we get a shofar from. They learned that Shofar comes from the Hebrew word “Shaper”, which means to improve. When we hear the Shofar, we focus on our new year as an opportunity to improve ourselves by becoming a better person with love, kindness, and respect to one another.

Spivak Hebrew Academy has grown itself this year with the additions of a 6th and 7th grade in the current 202324 school year, and soon to be 8th grade in the 2024-25 school year! Wishing everyone a Shanah Tovah Umetuka, a Happy and Sweet New Year filled with love and kindness!

LA Community Celebrates LINK Kollel’s Chanukas HaBayis

Hundreds of people, including leading Rabbanim and Roshei Kollel, joined in the joyous celebration of the Chanukas HaBayis of the LINK Kollel’s new buildings on Sunday evening, September 10. The celebration was augmented by the dedication of a new Sefer Torah (donated by Mr. and Mrs. Reuben and Miri Robin) and the joyous procession around the Kollel building that ensued.

Rabbi Asher Brander imitated the LINK Kollel exactly 21 years ago in the Westwood neighborhood of LA, beginning with 4 Avreichim. While it was incubated in the Westwood Kehilla Shul, the Kollel moved to the vibrant Pico-Robertson community in 2011, and now has a dozen full-time and part-time Avreichim and hundreds of weekly participants. After being housed in a rented facility until 2021, the Kollel moved to its brand-new main building two years ago. Finally, this month, the Kollel finished work on its adjacent annex (for outreach and women’s programming) and thus the Chanukas HaBayis was a culmination of a 21-year journey.

After the completion of the Sefer Torah and the joyous march through the adjacent streets, the celebrants then danced with all the Sifrei Torah in the majestic Ryzman Bais Medrash. The Yedidim Chassidic Choir lent their beautiful musical touch to the entire celebration (including the Shabbos of Shira that preceded the Chanukas HaBayis).

In the inspiring drashos that followed, Rav Shalom Tendler, Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta Bircas Yitzchok (MBY), lauded Rabbi Brander for his prescient vision that a Kollel could transform the lives of hundreds of Jews who have never tasted the fruits of Torah study. He averred that Rabbi Brander’s unbridled passion for Limud HaTorah and his tremendous Ahavas Yisroel fused together to create such a dynamic Makom Torah.

Rabbi Brander introduced the man whose name will be forever linked to the building (both on the facade as well as on the hearts of those who learn there), Mr. Stephen Samuel. Not only did he donate the prodigious costs of the construction, but his dedication to getting every detail just right was astonishing.

Mr. Samuel began his journey towards Torah Judaism by an “accidental” encounter with LINK’s dynamic Mashgiach Ruchani, Rabbi Doniel Weinstock, (then an Avreich at the Kollel) nearly 20 years ago. Learning weekly ever since then, Mr. Samuel’s world-view was transformed by the power of his Torah learning. In accepting a beautiful painting in his honor, he uttered an emotional prayer for the spiritual success of his children, harkening back to his observant ancestors who came from the renowned Chassidic center of Muncatch in the Carpathian Mountains (where his father was raised).

He expressed his gratification that this day of celebration had finally come, together with the hundreds of people whose lives have been immeasurably enriched by their contact with the Kollel. He explained how a Kollel today is literally the “Teiva of Noach,” a hermetically sealed “fall-out shelter,” protecting us from the raging storms of immorality and secularism that surround us in our world. He exhorted Rabbi Brander and his entire audience not to stop their mesirus nefesh for building Torah. He recalled the admonition that the Klausenberger Rebbe ZT”L delivered to the renowned Torah philanthropist, Mr. Samuel Feuerstein in the late 1940s, when the latter said, “I will try my best” when the Rebbe outlined all the Torah

and Chesed projects he was planning to undertake to rebuild Klal Yisroel after the war. The Rebbe recalled how he never imagined that he could carry 50 pounds of bricks on his back for several miles every day during the Holocaust, yet Hashem gave him this new-found strength. So too, he directed Mr. Feuerstein, “You can do much more than ‘trying my best.’” The need to reach thousands of more Jews today is great, Rabbi Segal concluded, and we must do even more than “trying to do our best.”

The evening concluded with a heartfelt Kumzitz led by the Yedidim Choir, culminating in one last frenzy of joyous dancing.

Rabbi Mordechai Lebhar, the Rosh Kollel, gave a poignant tribute to the lay founder of the Kollel, Mr. Gene Greenberg A”H, who had just passed away the day before at the age of 88. He and his wife Miriam yblc”t contributed the initial significant seed money to jump-start the Kollel and remained intimately involved in charting its steady course.

Rabbi Sroy Levitansky, BMG’s Director of Community Development, flew in from Lakewood to offer his words of chizuk, stressing that Limud HaTorah is not merely for those who are spiritual seekers or great intellects but is the inheritance of all of Klal Yisroel.

The keynote speaker was Rabbi Chaim Nosson (Nate) Segal, National Director of Community Development for Torah Umesorah and a Rav in Staten Island. In his fiery and impassioned address, he recalled his initial conversations with Rabbi Brander 21 years ago and how he offered chizuk to Rabbi Brander, sensing the momentous nature of this undertaking.

Procession for the Hachnosas Sefer Torah

Rabbi Mordechai Lebhar speaking from the dais

Rabbi Asher Brander filling in a letter in the new Sefer Torah, as the sofer, Rabbi Shimon Kraft looks

Yeshivat Yavneh Prepares for the Yamim Noraim

Students at Yeshivat Yavneh have been busy preparing for the Yamim Noraim both in and out of the classroom! In addition to learning the pertinent halachos attached to Elul, Rosh Hashana, Aseres Yemei Teshuva and Yom Kippur, our students have been fortunate to be part of meaningful and fun experiences as well. In the days leading up to Rosh Hashana, our students were paired with another grade in Yavneh to prepare and bake Apple Pies in honor of Rosh Hashana. The activity brought achdus to the halls of Yavneh, with older Middle School students being paired with the youngest Early Childhood students, and younger grades bonding with other corresponding classes. Additionally, few of our seventh-grade boys were

zoche to accompany their Rebbe, Rabbi Eli Kirschner, to visit Rav Yitzi Hurwitz before Rosh Hashana and share Divrei Torah wth Rav Yitzi. As most do, the boys left inspired by Rav Yitzi, as well as more prepared for the Yemei HaDin. Wishing the entire community a Shana Tova and a Kesiva Ve’Chasima Tova!

Maor’s First Week of School

and inclusive atmosphere that characterizes our school’s unique spirit. Teachers enthusiastically introduce our dynamic curriculum, and students eagerly embrace the opportunities for growth and learning. Together, we embark on a journey of exploration, curiosity, and collaboration that will define the rest of the academic year. The first week at Maor is a time when we set the stage for a year filled with educational excellence and personal development, and it’s a reminder of the incredible potential that lies within our diverse and vibrant community.

Our first week of school at Maor is a thrilling and transformative experience for both students and educators. As we step into our classrooms and gather in the hallways, there’s an electric buzz of excitement and anticipation. It’s a week filled with introductions, getting-to-know-you activities, and the cultivation of a warm

We have a morning Minyan! Maor’s new Shul houses a Sefer Torah in the bright and welcoming tent. Community members are invited to join our students for a beautiful and uplifting davening. If you would like to participate in the morning Minyan, please contact Rabbi Mendel, rabbizajac@maorla.com.

“and you shall rejoice in your festival and may you be nothing but joyous”

Aseret Yemi Teshuva A Path to Redemption: Tips from Addiction Treatment

Elan Javanfard

During Aseret Yemei Teshuva, we engage in deep introspection, reflection, and repentance, seeking forgiveness for our sins and striving to improve ourselves in the eyes of Hashem. The concept of Teshuva, or repentance, is central to these ten days. It reminds us that we are not defined by our past mistakes; instead, we have the power to change and grow. The process of Teshuva involves acknowledging our wrongdoing, feeling genuine remorse, making amends when possible, and resolving to act differently in the future. Many people say the extra Tehillim of “Le’dovid Hashem Ori Iyishi” (Psalm 27) as part of our spark towards repentance during davening. According to the Midrash Vayikra Rabbah “My Light” refers to Rosh Hashanah, and “My Salvation” refers to Yom Kippur. We might clearly understand why Yom Kippur is referred to as “My Salvation” but why is Rosh Hashanah called “My Light”?

In our process of identifying our flaws and areas of struggle, many of us may come to realize that these are the same goals we

aspired for in previous years and become disheartened by our continued struggle. In the field of psychology, behavior that consistently occurs despite the fact that we are aware of its drawbacks can be compared to addictive tendencies. One of the most powerful techniques for overcoming addiction is the 12 Step model. The 12 Steps are a set of principles and guiding actions that form the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other Twelve-Step programs, which are used to help individuals recover from various addictions and compulsive behaviors. Borrowing from these principles we can create a pathway towards cultivating true redemption from our struggles. Using this model we can also better come to understand our question above of why Rosh Hashanah is called “My Light.”

Recognizing Our Flaws:

The month of Elul begins with a process of self-reflection and introspection. We must confront our own shortcomings and sins honestly. Similarly, the first step acknowledges our powerlessness over ad-

Shalom Bayit Through the Parsha

Rabbi Nir Yacoby

Yom Kippur Eve Apology

It’s Yom Kippur Eve.

Most of us learned as kids to ask friends for forgiveness for no particular reason. However, very few of us ask our spouses for forgiveness at this time.

That’s unfortunate be cause your wife is your best friend. She’s your soulmate. And if you don’t feel that way, perhaps it’s precisely because you haven’t adopt ed this fabulous tradition yet.

The closer the friendship, the more vulnerable the re lationship is, the more op portunity there is for hurt feelings. There’s nothing closer and more vulnerable than the relationship be tween a husband and a wife.

What if your wife asks, “Are you also apologizing

for what you said at noon of April 12th?” You have no clue, but you should answer: “Honey, for small transgressions a regular apology would have sufficed. But for that committed at noon of April 12th that’s what Yom Kippur apology is for.”

Apologize on Yom Kippur Eve for Shalom Bayit.

diction and the unmanageability of our lives. Both paths emphasize the importance of self-awareness as a starting point for change, moving past denial toward the realization of our actions.

Surrender and Acceptance:

During selichot, we admit our sins and surrender ourselves to Hashem’s judgment. The second step similarly encourages surrender, asking individuals to believe in a higher power that can restore sanity. Surrendering our will and ego is a common theme in both processes.

Making Amends:

Aseret Yemi Teshuva calls for the Teshuvah, which includes making amends to those we have wronged. Likewise, the 12 Steps of AA advocate making direct amends to those harmed by our addiction. Both paths emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for our actions and seeking reconciliation.

Personal Inventory:

The fourth step involves making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Much like the introspection encouraged leading up to Yom Kippur, we shine a light in all the dark spaces of our lives. Both processes emphasize the need to confront our past actions and their impact on ourselves and others.

Sharing Our Wrongs:

Yom Kippur involves confessing our sins to Hashem and, in some cases, seeking guidance from a Rav related to how to gain forgiveness. The fifth step encourages sharing our moral inventory with another person, often a sponsor. Both steps promote vulnerability and accountability.

Willingness to Change:

The sixth step focuses on being entirely ready to have our character defects removed. This mirrors the intention of Selichot, where we express our genuine desire to return to the light of the righteous path.

Humble Transformation:

On Yom Kippur, we humble ourselves before Hashem to seek His forgiveness. The seventh step involves humbly asking a higher power to remove our shortcomings. Both emphasize humility as a key aspect of transformation.

Making Direct Amends:

Aseret Yemi Teshuva calls for direct amends to those we’ve wronged, and the eighth step involves making a list of people we’ve harmed and being willing to make amends. Both highlight the importance of repairing relationships to heal from the past.

capacity for forgiveness when we genuinely repent. Similarly, the ninth focuses on making amends, seeking forgiveness, and repairing broken relationships.

Continual Self-Reflection:

The Yom Kippur process doesn’t end in one day; it promotes ongoing self-reflection and improvement. The tenth step encourages us to continue taking personal inventory and promptly admitting when we are wrong.

Spiritual Connection:

The importance of maintaining a spiritual connection with Hashem allows us to remain close to Him. The eleventh step reminds us that only through consistent prayer, meditation, and reflection can we ensure that we will walk the righteous path.

Service and Sharing:

The twelfth step emphasizes carrying this message to others and practicing these principles in all our affairs. This step reminds us that the work of Aseret Yemi Teshuva and Yom Kippur never ends. We must consistently share this message with others through our actions and deeds to provide them with the connection and support in their times of need.

While we don’t often look towards addiction treatment for themes in religion, upon deeper examination it reveals remarkable parallels in their approach to repentance, transformation, and redemption. Both paths remind us that admitting our faults, seeking forgiveness, making amends, and nurturing a spiritual connection can lead us toward a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Furthermore, just as for many people, the 12 Steps are a lifelong journey, our process of repentance and growth should be a lifelong process to better ourselves in the eyes of Hashem and our community.

In our repentance process, we must retrace our steps, which of course includes the refocusing on the light of Hashem to which we were blind. This light is the clarity about our obligations and actions. This clarity stems from the submission to Hashem’s kingship, which is the theme throughout the Rosh Hashanah services. Hence the reference to Rosh Hashanah being “My Light.” Our refocusing on this light is a prerequisite to the Teshuva, which we need in order to attain our atonement on Yom Kippur. May we all consider a pathway towards redemption to be written into the Book of Life and have a Gamar Chatimah Tovah.

Rabbi Nir and his wife Atrian give regular classes on Shalom Bayit. His popular 3-minute podcast is funny and draws Shalom Bayit ideas from the Torah portion of the week. To register: ShalomInComics@gmail.com

Forgiveness: Yom Kippur reminds us of Hashem’s

Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, a weekly blog. He lives in the Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and two children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.

Ijust can’t wait for the Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur season to be over so we can finally celebrate Sukkos,” Shimmi lamented. “I spend so much time in shul, the Teshuva process is challenging, my mind is burdened with thoughts, and it can be so disheartening.”

Shimmi’s sentiments are ones that resonate with many of us as we navigate the Yomim Noraim. The calls for Teshuva, Tefilah, and Tzedakah can at times leave us feeling perplexed and weighed down. We often find ourselves asking, “How can I truly achieve Teshuva when it seems like I’m repeating the same mistakes year after year?” Moreover, there is the weight of expectation, as the Rambam writes in Hilchos Teshuvah 2:7, “Yom Kippur is the time of Teshuva for all.... Therefore, all are obligated to repent and confess on Yom Kippur.” This can be daunting, and we might wonder what our mindset should be as we strive to do Teshuva.

Rav Shlomo Hoffman zt”l, one of the great Ba’alei Mussar of the past generation and a talmid muvhak of Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sher zt”l, once shared a personal story that sheds light on this struggle. In 1938, young Rav Shlomo was a bachur at the Chevron Yeshiva in Yerushalayim.

During the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, he crossed paths with one of his rebbeim, Rav Yechezkel Sarna zt”l, in the hallway.

Rav Sarna, noticing the sadness in the young bachur’s eyes, asked, “Why do you appear so downcast?” Rav Shlomo responded, “It’s the Aseres Yemei Teshuva, and I am striving to achieve genuine Teshuva, but it feels incredibly challenging. The Rambam, in Hilchos Teshuva 2:2, writes that for Teshuva to be proper, one must reach the level where ‘The One Who Knows Hidden Things should testify about him that he will never return to this sin.’ I have doubts about whether I can ever attain such a level.”

Rav Sarna redirected his young talmid’s focus. He said, “Why are you quoting the Rambam? Instead, let us turn to the words of Rabbeinu Yonah, as found in Shaarei Teshuva 1:2, who emphasizes that the essence of Teshuva is ‘turning to go on the right path.’ Furthermore, the Gemara in Kerisus 7a teaches that Yom Kippur cleanses those who are in the process of doing Teshuva, not just those who have already completed it (רפכמ םירופיכה םוי ןיבשל).”

Rav Sarna went on to share a meaningful Mashal attributed to Rav Yisroel

Salanter (I will be using examples from Southern California for clarity). He described a scenario of Shalom who wanted to spend a day in Oxnard and inquired about the directions and travel time from his Los Angeles home to Oxnard in preGPS days. His friend Aryeh responded, “It’s approximately an hour from here.” Excited, Shalom embarked on his journey. After driving for an hour, then an hour and fifteen minutes, followed by an hour and a half, Shalom had still not reached Oxnard. Frustration grew as he continued for two and a half hours, leading him to pull over and ask a passerby, “Am I in Oxnard?” The reply came, “Oxnard? You’re in San Diego, which is two and a half hours south of Los Angeles. Oxnard is an hour north of Los Angeles! You’re now three and a half hours away from Oxnard. Your mistake was that you took the Freeway South instead of North! Turn around and make a U-turn, then travel on the North.”

Rav Sarna explained that the crucial moment when Shalom decided to make that U-turn towards Oxnard, switching from South to North, is the turning point symbolizing “turning to go on the right path.”

In the context of the Yomim Noraim

and the Teshuva process, it can indeed become overwhelming. We grapple with the burden of our past mistakes and the daunting responsibility of Teshuva. Year after year, we may feel trapped in a cycle of repetition. However, Rabbeinu Yonah reminds us that our primary focus during the Aseres Yemei Teshuva is to turn ourselves around and ensure that we are traveling in the right path direction.

The Teshuva process is comprehensive and will take time-Maybe even 120 years. Nevertheless, our mission during the Yomim Noraim is to make that critical U-turn and not to complete the entire journey. As we engage in introspection and self-reflection with our preparation for the awesome day of Yom HaKippurim, let us internalize this message. In doing so, we will draw nearer to our true selves and our connection with HaShem, and we will all merit a Gmar Chasima Tova.

Rabbi Yosef Bondi is the S’gan Menahel of Yeshiva Aharon Yaakov/Ohr Eliyahu, in Los Angeles. Rabbi Bondi gives ongoing educational in-services to the school staff, as well as weekly in-depth Gemora/Halacha and Hashkafa shiurim to the broader community. He received Semicha from Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim and also holds a Masters’ Degree in Educational Leadership.

Rachey Simons Rabbi Avi Stewart

Rav of the Westwood Kehilla and a licensed therapist in private practice

I was wronged. And it hurts. My ego, my very self, has been disrespected. Letting go of something that someone did to me, of inflicted emotional pain, is painful. At first glance, forgiveness seems to be a nisayon for my middos. It is not simply forgiving a debt or letting go of some minor affront.

Yet, Hashem wants us to forgive. It is codified in halacha [Gemara, Rambam, and Shulchan Aruch]. We have an obligation to forgive. How can we be commanded to let go of the pain? Is the Torah not sensitive to my pain?

Perhaps rather than forgiveness as a challenge to our middos, or ego, mechila should be viewed as being rooted in our Emunah. Were we to believe that everything that happens to us is a result of Hashem’s Will and not happenstance, it would not be personal. Wounds are not inflicted by people. Sure, they have free choice; but let’s let Hashem worry about them. Whatever happened to me was ordained by G-d. It was meant to happen and it would have happened regardless of my antagonist’s efforts. It is not personal. I can let go of a grudge. I can forgive.

The antidote to holding onto pain, and the key to forgiveness is to live a life of “Al pi Hashem yachanu; Al pi Hashem Yisaoo.” The Shelah haKadosh writes that traveling and camping according to the word of G-d can be understood homiletically as living with Hashem on our lips. Baruch Hashem! That is to say, we are tasked with living with the recognition that everything that happens is Hashem’s will. Exercising our Emunah muscles in our everyday life will enable us to call on our faith and it will empower us to forgive.

Co-founder of YJP Los Angeles, which she runs with her husband Mendel

It is so difficult to forgive because of the tremendous pain they have caused you. You think that by forgiving them you’re accepting their behavior. Our ego so badly wants to protect us from the gaping hurt. From experience, I’ve learned that this method only hurts us more. You live with the pain even deeper by not letting it go.

We have a mitzvah to ask for forgiveness and forgive for a reason. I believe the Torah knows the immense difficulty. We expect and know HaShem will forgive us to the fullest extent. Yet, do we treat others with the same level of compassion HaShem treats us?

I’ve learned that forgiveness doesn’t excuse their actions. We don’t have to continue to let people hurt us. It takes extreme humility to forgive and soften our hearts. It’s a choice to not let that pain live heavily in your heart. I live with real peace and joy in my life because I have chosen not to hold grudges. Always remember that hurt people hurt people.

My biggest tools in hard situations are:

1. Find the heart message (good intentions) beneath their hurtful delivery.

2. Believing in the Divine providence which teaches us that life is happening FOR us, not TO us.

Why Is It So Hard To Forgive?

10 reasons it may be hard for us to forgive

1. We are afraid to let go of the past - even the painful parts.

2. We are afraid we won’t recognize ourselves if we’re no longer resentful - even though we know we’ll be happier.

3. It is very difficult for us to change the way we think - even if our thoughts are self-sabotaging.

4. It is impossible to forgive others when we are not ready to forgive ourselves - even though we’ve earned our own redemption.

5. We might not be ready to accept our own contribution to the harm done - even though the accountability would be liberating.

6. Because we tell ourselves that we are afraid to fail. But, we’re lying to ourselves. It’s really our potential to succeed that scares us.

7. Because we believed the people who broke us - when they told us that we were at fault. We saw ourselves through their eyes and adopted their view

8. Because freedom brings great responsibility and slavery feels like an easy excuse.

9. Because we have yet to discover how truly invincible we really are. After we’ve forgiven we may realize it was easier than we thought.

10. Because the ability to truly forgive is a gift from Hashem. In order to receive Hashem’s Brochas we need to be genuinely humble and open.

We are not victims of our circumstances. Two things can be true. Someone’s wrongful action toward me can be unacceptable and at the same time, I can grow from it and come out the other side a stronger and better version of myself. I’m not going to say this work is easy, but it is possible!

Criminal Defense Attorney famous columnist “Lou’s Views”

The reason why I think people find it so hard to forgive is because we put too much weight on what is right while overlooking the priceless value of peace.

Most disputes arise from money. It affects friendships and even family relationships. It’s heartbreaking to hear that a child hasn’t spoken to their parents for many years or that a close relative isn’t invited to a simcha over a business dispute.

Nobody wins in an ongoing argument because both sides ultimately deep down feel the pain of the strained relationship during moments when they are meant to experience happiness.

A good exercise I tell people to do is to remove themselves from the argument and try to imagine that they are hearing their friend tell them about their own dispute. Would they advise their friend to carry on the dispute or just try and make peace?

Life is too short to fight.

I’ll end with Bob Dylan who famously sang, “The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind. The answer is blowin in the wind.”

Lou Shapiro

Rabbi M Kesselman

How Your Personality Affects Your Money Habits

Why are you more likely to spend money on some things and save money on others? Why are you more likely to be attracted to certain investment opportunities while being turned off by others? Much has to do with your life experiences around money, but much of it is your DNA.

Each of us has a unique personality profile that influences how we feel and make decisions around money - personal finance. As it turns out, there’s a scientific framework that can help us understand how our personality traits affect our money habits. It’s called the Ocean Model, and it divides personality into five key traits: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

Understanding your personality traits can help you better understand your relationship with money, can help you make better financial decisions, and can help you surround yourself with guidance that can support you where there is weakness. You can take a personality test online at (bigfive-test.com) to see where you fall.

Openness

If you’re high in openness, you’re more likely to be open to new experiences and ideas, including new ways of managing money. You might be more willing to try new investment strategies or take risks with your finances. You might also be more interested in learning about different cultures and cuisines, which could make you spend more money on travel and dining out.

On the other hand, if you’re low in openness, you might be more traditional

in your money approach and more comfortable with tried-and-true methods. You might be less likely to take risks with your finances and prefer to stick to less flashy strategies that work for you.

Conscientiousness

If you’re high in conscientiousness, you’re more likely to be organized, reliable, and hardworking. You might be more likely to create a budget and stick to it, and you might be more likely to save money for the future. You might also be more likely to pay your bills on time and avoid debt.

If you’re low in conscientiousness, you might be more impulsive with your spending and might have difficulty sticking to a budget. You might also be more likely to take on debt or miss payments on your bills.

Extraversion

If you’re high in extraversion, you’re more likely to be outgoing and sociable. You might enjoy spending money on social activities and might be more likely to take on debt to finance your lifestyle. You might also be more likely to splurge on things that make you feel good, like new clothes or a night out with friends.

If you’re low in extraversion, you might be more introverted and might prefer to save money for activities you can enjoy alone or with close friends. You might also be more likely to be frugal and avoid spending money on unnecessary things.

Agreeableness

You’re more likely to be kind, helpful, and forgiving if you’re high in agreeableness. You might be more likely to lend money to friends or family members and less likely to negotiate hard when making financial decisions. You might also be more likely to avoid conflict, even if it means making a financial sacrifice.

If you’re low in agreeableness, you might be more competitive and less likely to help others with their finances. You might also be more likely to negotiate hard

when making financial decisions, even if it means hurting someone else’s feelings.

Neuroticism

If you’re high in neuroticism, you’re more likely to be anxious, worry, and have mood swings. You might be more likely to make impulsive financial decisions and might have difficulty managing your stress levels. You may also be more likely to be afraid of losing money, which could lead you to avoid taking risks with your finances.

If you’re low in neuroticism, you might be more calm and relaxed and might be better able to make rational financial decisions. Knowing that you can handle the consequences, you might also be more willing to take risks with your finances.

Here are some tips for using the Ocean Model to understand your personal money personality:

Think about your spending habits. Are you a spender or a saver? Do you tend to impulse buy or plan your purchases carefully?

Consider your financial goals. What are you saving for? Retirement? A house? A vacation?

Reflect on your relationships with money. Do you feel anxious or stressed about money? Or do you feel confident and in control?

Once you better understand your personality traits and feelings around money, you can develop better money habits and make better financial decisions.

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you surround yourself with advisors who can balance your strengths and protect you against your weaknesses.

Personal finance is a profoundly unique and personal topic. Understanding your personality traits can help you make better financial decisions, make you far less likely to make emotional money mistakes, and make you far more likely to achieve your goals and dreams over time.

Dimitry Farberov, CFA® CFP® is a Director at Miracle Mile Advisors, an independent registered investment advisory firm in West Los Angeles. He has over 16 years of experience helping founders, executives, and high-networth families make smart decisions about investment, insurance, tax, retirement, and estate planning. Miracle Mile Advisors and its affiliates do not provide tax, legal or accounting advice. This material has been prepared for informational purposes only, and is not intended to provide, and should not be relied on for, tax, legal or accounting advice. You should consult your own tax, legal, and accounting advisors before engaging in any transaction.

OUR PARTY MENU INCLUDES:

Jujeh Kebab: Tender and avorful chicken kebabs marinated to perfection.

Beef Kubideh: Juicy ground beef skewers, seasoned and grilled to perfection.

Two Kinds of Stew: Our chef's special stews bursting with rich avors and hearty ingredients.

White Rice: Flu y and fragrant, the perfect accompaniment to your meal.

Fancy Rice: A delightful blend of aromatic rice with a mix of exotic spices and herbs.

Two Kinds of Salad: Fresh and crisp salads, one with garden-fresh veggies and the other with unique, exotic ingredients.

Fruit Pla er: A colorful assortment of fresh fruits for a sweet and refreshing nale.

Daniel Agalar

In the year 1989, Armenia was struck by an earthquake that would forever mark its history. Within a mere four seconds, the tremors swallowed the lives of 30,000 individuals, toppling buildings, shattering homes, and laying cities to waste.

Among those affected was a young boy named Jon, the cherished and sole child of his parents. Their love for him transcended boundaries, a commitment to be his unwavering support in times of need.

Amidst the chaos and devastation, Jon’s father stood as a symbol of unwavering determination. Fueled by the boundless love for his son, he rushed to the remains of Jon’s school, resolute in his mission to find him. He delved into the wreckage, defying the odds and the surrounding despair, driven by a profound connection and the hope of reuniting with his beloved child.

As hours stretched into uncertainty and hope began to fade, Jon’s father remained steadfast. His efforts persisted despite the challenges and the voices of doubt around him. His unwavering conviction in the survival of his son and his commitment to rescue him showcased the

A Father’s Endless Love

Based on a story told over by Rabbi Joey Haber

extraordinary strength of a parent’s love.

After an exhaustive thirty-eight hours, a beacon of hope emerged from the rubble. Voices echoed from beneath the debris, among them Jon’s. The sheer joy in his father’s voice was palpable as he inquired, “Jon, is that you?”

Amidst the wreckage, Jon’s response rang out, confirming his presence and their enduring bond. Despite the hardships and trials they had endured, Jon’s faith in his father remained unbroken, becoming a source of strength for himself and his companions.

In a poignant twist of selflessness, Jon’s first concern was for his friends. Understanding his father’s unwavering commitment, he requested that his friends be rescued before him. He demonstrated a remarkable depth of love, choosing to prioritize their well-being over his own rescue. With each friend’s extraction from the rubble, Jon’s father showcased the extent of his love and dedication to saving lives.

This poignant narrative resonates with a central theme of Yom Kippur. Just as Jon’s father’s steadfast love defied all odds, the essence of Yom Kippur underscores the boundless love and mercy of Hashem. The story serves as a testament to

the idea that even in the face of adversity and challenges, the commitment to saving and redeeming lives remains unyielding.

Yom Kippur serves as a time of deep introspection, repentance, and reconciliation. It stands as a reminder of the unending compassion and love that Hashem extends to humanity. In the same vein as Jon’s father’s unrelenting determination to save his son, Yom Kippur emphasizes Hashem’s desire to pull people back from the brink of despair, offering an opportunity for renewal and spiritual rebirth.

Much like Jon’s father’s devotion

knew no bounds, Yom Kippur invites us to embrace the possibility of transformation and reconnection, guided by the boundless love of Hashem.

Daniel Agalar is the founder of Stories to Inspire, an organization dedicated to sharing curated inspirational stories from renowned Rabbonim. With a widely popular podcast that has surpassed 4 million downloads, Daniel’s passion for spreading positivity shines through. Join their daily Whatsapp broadcast by messaging 310-2101205 or explore over 4,250 stories on their website at www.storiestoinspire.org. The stories can also be accessed on their hotline at 718-400-7145.

CARRYING THE WEIGHT OF UNPAID DEBT ON YOUR HEART?

ואוב ןובשח

You stand in shul and beg for forgiveness, health, and happiness. But are your hands clean of unintentional gezel? It might have been a couple of cents, or a business debt of thousands; let it not obstruct your tefillos this Yom Hadin. Wash your hands of lost debt by returning the value through Neki Kapayim’s accredited gemachim fund, and enter Yom Kippur with clean hands and a clear conscience.

Watch and Learn!

א"טילש ךובנרטש השמ יבר רידאה ןואגה יבר ןואגה ןוא א"טילש ךאברעיוא לאירזע יבר ןואגה ,א"טילש םיובסיונ ילתפנ יבר ןואגה

Hagaon Harav Yaakov Siemiatycki delves into the intricate, novel concept of Neki Kapayim in a Halachic discussion with R’ Yitzy Hisiger.

With Yom Kippur dawning upon us, many are starting to plan what they are going to eat and drink before the fast. Some are also running to buy appetite suppressants or a variety of delayed-release capsules, all to set them up for an easier and more successful Yom Tov. During the few days leading up to the Fast Day, there are many people or “influencers” who claim to be the experts on what foods and drinks (or IVs) are the magic potion to guarantee an easy fast. However, this has led to an abundance of misinformation causing many to eat improperly before fasting. With this inspiration, here is a basic review of some proven strategies to help properly fuel up for the fast, enabling us to focus on the actual “avodah” of this upcoming Yom Kippur.

Fuel Up with Fluids

Start early! Within 48 hours leading up to the fast, aim to drink plenty of water, coconut water, and electrolyte-filled fluids. The key electrolytes to look out for when hydrating are sodium, potassium, calcium, and magnesium. It is easiest to keep tabs on your water drinking by filling up a large water bottle or timing glasses of water before and after meals and snacks. Avoid consumption of juices, sodas, caf-

Fueling Up for a Successful Fast

feine, and alcohol. Try to incorporate chicken or vegetable broth into your prefast meals. Snack on plenty of fruits and vegetables to store up on fluids, electrolytes, and filling fibers. Some well-hydrating vegetables include lettuce, celery, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, bell peppers, asparagus, cauliflower, spinach and broccoli. Some well-hydrating fruits include watermelon, strawberries, grapefruit, cantaloupe, peaches, pears, plums, oranges, pineapple, apples, blueberries, and mango. Starting your fast off fully hydrated can help curb hunger and prevent early symptoms of dehydration such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, and fatigue.

Fuel Up with Proper Foods

Within the 24 hours leading up to the fast, eat small, frequent meals and snacks throughout the day. It is best to try planning nutrient-rich meals and snacks every 3 hours. Avoid heavy meals and overly large portions in one sitting. It is best not to go into the fast with a bloated, “postYom Tov meal” belly. Try to incorporate fiber-rich foods into each meal and snack with whole wheat bread/crackers, brown rice, quinoa, sweet potatoes, potatoes, and legumes. Stick to lean proteins such as eggs, Greek yogurt, beans, lean cuts of

meat, chicken, or turkey breast. Include healthy fats such as salmon, tuna, avocado, nuts, and almonds. These foods will help to maintain a balanced blood sugar level, thereby preventing an increased hunger later on.

Fasting is not easy on most, however, heeding the above can make it significantly easier on the body. The key to an easy fast is to enter the fast in your best possible state by storing up on nutrients and electrolytes through proper hydration and a nutritious diet. When accepting a 25-hour fast on our bodies, long periods of time pass without replenishing these es-

sential nutrients and electrolytes. This attributes to the uncomfortable feeling of fasting. Therefore, it is even more important to ensure our bodies don’t lack these key elements early into our fasts in order to feel our best the whole way through.

Bracha Abramson RD, CDN is a Clinical Dietitian-Nutritionist with over 8 years of adult and pediatric experi ence. She graduated from NewYork-Presbyterian Cor nell and Columbia with a fellowship specializing in Pediatrics. She currently sees clients in her private prac tice, Robin’s Nest Family Nutrition. Feel free to contact her at 323-230-0590 or BrachaAbramsonRD@gmail. com.

The Wonders of Your Skin

Michael Farah

Last week, we introduced the topic of stem cells and how they’re being used in medicine to improve overall and specific health goals. One of the most popular areas in which stem cells are being used by the average person is for sports improvement, such as improved joint mobility, and in skin care specifically with anti-aging and wound healing.

It’s important to understand how the skin barrier works, its layers, and how a wound develops. Once a wound is formed, the only way to heal is from the inside layer toward the outside layer. In essence, a wound must heal from the inside out. Therefore, it’s very important for the skin to obtain proper wound care and treatment.

The Skin is Hard at Work

The skin is the body’s largest organ of the body and is the protective barrier that separates the internal organs, muscles, and bones from the external environment. The skin provides many functions for the human body. Here are some key aspects of the skin:

Protection: protect the body from physical, chemical, and biological damage.

Regulation of Temperature: regulates body temperature through processes of sweating (to cool the body) and constriction of blood vessels (to conserve heat).

Sensory Perception: Sensory receptors that allow us to perceive and respond to stimuli from the environment, including touch, pressure, temperature, and pain.

Immune Function: Defend the body against pathogens and infections

Excretion: Sweat glands in the skin help eliminate waste products and toxins from the body

Vitamin D Synthesis: When exposed to UVB rays from sunlight, the skin can synthesize vitamin D, which is essential for calcium absorption and bone health.

Storage: The skin can store a small amount of water, lipids, and nutrients, which can be utilized by the body as needed.

Aesthetic and Social Functions: The appearance of the skin can significantly influence a person’s self-esteem and social interactions. Healthy, well-maintained skin is often considered attractive and can boost confidence.

The skin consists of three primary layers: the epidermis, the dermis, and the subcutaneous tissue (hypodermis), each with its own unique structure and func-

tion. The epidermis is the outermost layer and acts as a protective barrier. The dermis contains blood vessels, nerves, and various structures like hair follicles and sweat glands. The subcutaneous tissue is primarily composed of fat and provides insulation and cushioning for the body.

Together, these three layers of the skin work together to protect the body from physical injury, regulate temperature, provide sensory input, and serve various other essential functions. Skin health and appearance are influenced by factors such as genetics, age, sun exposure, and overall health.

When the skin’s integrity is compromised, the body’s immune function sends messengers to repair it. Sometimes, the wound is too large for the body to self-repair, and wound care by medical professionals is required.

The rate of wound healing depends on several factors, including the type and size of the wound, the individual’s overall health, and the presence of any underlying medical conditions. Proper wound care and hygiene are essential to support the healing process and minimize complications like infection. In some cases, healthcare professionals may need to intervene with techniques such as sutures, staples, or wound dressings to facilitate healing.

Additionally, chronic conditions like diabetes or certain medications can slow the healing process and increase the risk of complications, making medical supervision and care critical for some individuals.

Caring for A Wound

While there are many ways to treat a wound and many innovations in the realm of wound care, the efficacy of these treatments often depends on the type and severity of the wound, as well as the patient’s overall health.

There are many dressings in the realm of wound care, such as traditional

gauze and bandages, gel-forming agents that maintain a moist environment for wound healing, absorbent dressings, foam dressings that provide cushioning, transparent films that allow the wound to be seen without needing frequent dressing changes, and negative pressure wound therapy which involves a vacuum machine to promote blood flow and remove excess fluid.

Some highly advanced wound dressings contain growth factors, antimicrobial agents, and living cells. These dressings are designed to accelerate healing, reduce infection risk, and improve tissue regeneration. This is where amniotic placental tissue, and the stem cells within it, are used to regenerate healthy tissue and assist in wound healing.

The choice of wound care method depends on the wound’s characteristics, as each wound has distinct healing requirements. Certain chronic conditions, like diabetes, circulation issues, and immune disorders can delay wound healing. An older age and poor nutrition status also can impair wound healing. Moreover, some advanced wound care methods can be very costly, require specialized training and equipment to administer, and may not always be available.

The key to successful wound care lies in a personalized approach, where healthcare professionals assess individual cases and select the most suitable method to facilitate optimal healing and improve the patient’s quality of life.

Check in next week to see how Dr. Mobicare is pulling all of this together by using stem cells within amniotic placental tissue for wound healing.

Here are some tips for achieving and maintaining healthy skin:

Cleansing: Cleanse your skin to remove dirt, excess oil, and makeup.

Moisturizing: Use moisturizer for your skin type to keep your skin hydrated and prevent dryness.

Sun Protection: by wearing sunscreen with at least SPF 30 daily, even on cloudy days.

Healthy Diet: Antioxidant-rich foods can help protect your skin from damage.

Hydration: Drink an adequate amount of water daily to keep your skin hydrated from the inside out.

Avoid Smoking and Limit Alcohol: Smoking can accelerate skin aging and damage collagen. Excessive alcohol consumption can dehydrate the skin.

Gentle Exfoliation: Exfoliate your skin regularly to remove dead skin cells and promote cell turnover.

Sleep: Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep per night allowing your skin to repair and regenerate.

Stress Management: Chronic stress can negatively impact the skin. Practice stress-reduction techniques like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.

Avoid Hot Water: Hot water can strip the skin of natural oils.

Skin Protection: If you work in environments with harsh chemicals or are exposed to extreme weather conditions, take measures to protect your skin, such as wearing gloves and appropriate clothing.

Avoid Harsh Products: Be cautious with skincare products that contain harsh chemicals or fragrances that may irritate your skin. Perform patch tests before using new products.

Consult a Dermatologist: If you have specific skin concerns or conditions like acne, eczema, or psoriasis, consult a dermatologist for professional guidance and treatment options.

Hygienic Practices: Keep your makeup brushes and skincare tools clean to prevent the buildup of bacteria that can lead to breakouts.

Exercise: Regular physical activity promotes good blood circulation, which can contribute to a healthy complexion.

Limit Sugar and Processed Foods: High sugar intake and processed foods can contribute to skin issues. Try to reduce consumption.

Michael Farah is the co-founder of Dr. Mobicare, the country’s first Regenerative Wound Care Provider. Dr. Mobicare is currently providing Regenerative Wound Care in six different states across the country.

Inscribing life. Infusing life.

A better life for all of us.

What does life look like?

It’s

and

THAT’S WHAT TOMCHEI LA IS HERE FOR:

awesome time

Where a mother can buy ingredients for supper with joy –and without cringing at the prices.

Where a father can pay his rent and electric bills in peace –without begging for extensions.

Where Shabbos is the day of rest it’s meant to be –free of financial stress.

Where girls can visit friends on Yom Tov and be proud of her new wardrobe –not embarrassed of her old one.

THAT’S WHAT TOMCHEI LA IS HERE FOR:

The things we want to believe everyone takes for granted –but we know can be a struggle for too many of our neighbors.

So many in our community are dreaming of a better life – free of financial worry.

Now’s our opportunity. Let's rally our forces of kindness, creating a better life for others – and by doing so, we better the lives for ourselves.

To infuse life – and better the lives of our community, our families, our neighbors. But we can’t do it alone.

THIS YOM TOV SEASON, IT’S 500 FAMILIES and you!

Rabbi Yannai Rebbe’s Stories

Rabbi Mordechai Dubin

Rabbi Yannai was a very big Talmid Chacham and a devoted rebbe. Everyday Rabbi Yannai’s students would gather in the Beis Medrash to learn Torah from their wise rebbe.

Rabbi Yannai had a brilliant student named Shimon. Shimon would listen attentively to everything his rebbe said. Every day Shimon asked Rabbi Yannai many questions. Often Rabbi Yannai was not able to answer Shimon’s questions. He would put his hand on his chin and say “Shimon, that was a great question. I’ll need a few days to think about it!” All the students were very impressed with Shimon’s brilliant mind. Although Shimon asked many questions that Rabbi Yannai could not answer, the students never lost respect for their rebbe. All of them knew that Rabbi Yannai was a tremendous Talmid Chacham and Tzadik even if he could not answer all of Shimon’s questions.

Pesach was coming and everyone was preparing for the upcoming holiday. Posters were posted all over town announcing that Rabbi Yannai would be giving a Shabbos Hagadol drasha and would be discussing the laws of Pesach. Everyone in town was excited to hear Rabbi Yannai discuss these laws. Shabbos afternoon arrived and the Bais Medrash was filled to capacity. It seems that everyone in town

had come to hear Rabbi Yannai speak. All of Rabbi Yannai’s students were there as well. For over one hour Rabbi Yannai discussed the laws of Pesach and everyone listened attentively and quietly. Surprisingly, Shimon remained quiet throughout the entire speech without asking a single question. The other students were quite surprised. They had never seen Shimon remain quiet without asking any questions. They thought that maybe Shimon was not feeling well.

When the speech was over and all the people of the town had left the Bais Medrash, the students gathered around Shimon to see if he was okay. “I am feeling fine,” said Shimon, “Why are you concerned that I am sick?” he asked. “Because you didn’t ask any questions,” responded his friends, “You always ask questions! Why didn’t you ask any questions today?”

Shimon looked around to make sure that Rabbi Yannai did not hear what he was about to say. He mo tioned for his friends to come closer and he spoke softly. “Each one of us knows how great our rebbe is. Even when he is not able to answer a ques tion, none of us would ever think negatively about him. We all know that he is a giant Talmid Chacham. But the people of the town only come to hear Rabbi Yannai speak before a

Chag. They don’t know or understand how great a Talmid Chacham Rabbi Yannai really is. If I would have asked a question which he could not answer, then some of the people might have thought that Rabbi Yannai is not a great Talmid Chacham and they could have lost respect for him. I did not want this to happen so I did not ask any questions during the Drasha. But now that all the people have left, I have a number of questions I want to ask him.” Shimon excused himself and walked over to Rabbi Yannai and began to ask him the questions that he had from his Shabbos Hagadol Drasha.

This story is found in Moad Katan 5/a

Questions for Discussion

1. 1. Do you think that Rabbi Yannai was embarrassed when he could not answer a question?

2. 2. Do you think that Shimon was a greater Talmid Chacham than Rabbi Yannai?

3. 3. Why do you think that everyone in town came to hear Rabbi Yannai’s Shabbos Hagadol drasha?

4. 4. Why do you think that Shimon did not want Rabbi Yannai to hear when he told the other students the reason that he did not ask any questions?

5. 5. How would you describe Shimon’s decision not to ask Rabbi Yannai any questions during his Shabbos Hagadol Drasha?

Rabbi Mordechai Dubin is a Rebbe at Gindi Maimonides Academy. He is the author of three illustrated children’s books, I’ll Never Forget Yerushalayim, I Believe, and I Know 6;

Section” in the subject line

Down on the Farm

Across

1. Baby cow.

3. Might be used to make cheese.

7. Used for irrigation.

8. Could be used for carrying water.

9. More than one goose.

10. Used to frighten birds away from crops.

12. Structure that makes energy from wind.

14. What you find in the chicken coop.

16. Slow moving vehicle used to tow things.

17. A female sheep.

18. A male chicken.

20. Colorful plant grown for food.

22. Shelter for many farm animals.

23. Tool for weeding.

24. Group of animals on a dairy farm.

25. She lays eggs.

Down

1. Grain that grows on a cob.

2. Baby sheep.

3. O spring of a donkey and a horse.

4. Animal you can ride.

5. Barley, wheat, corn, etc.

6. 43560 square feet.

9. Male goose.

10. They watch over a flock of sheep.

11. Where animals graze.

13. Where honey is made.

15. Where fruit trees grow.

16. Poultry raised for Thanksgiving Day.

19. A large cattle farm.

21. It might be a billy or a nanny.

22. Large, tied bundle of straw.

KAPPAROS: Why a Chicken?

1. In Aramaic, a rooster is known as a gever. In Hebrew, a gever is a man. Thus we take a gever to atone for a gever.

2. A chicken is a commonly found fowl and relatively inexpensive.

3. It is not a species that was eligible to be o ered as a sacrifice in the Holy Temple. This precludes the possibility that someone might erroneously conclude that the kaparot is an o ering.

It is customary to use a white chicken, to recall the verse (Isaiah 1:18), "If your sins prove to be like crimson, they will become white as snow." In any event, one should not use a black chicken, as black is the color that represents divine severity and discipline. Nor should one use an obviously blemished chicken.

Science or Fiction

What came first?

The chicken or the egg?

Science says it’s the egg! Eggs evolved billions of years ago, and were around at the time of the dinosaurs. Chickens have only been around for 10,000 years

Enveloped in the Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy

Prayer is a long channel that connects us to the Master of the Universe. But if so, why do so many of our prayers remain unanswered? Generation after generation of rabbis have offered various answers to this question, some of which have become well-worn clichés:

It’s not that G-d doesn’t answer, but rather that sometimes G-d’s answer is no.

G-d doesn’t answer to us.

G-d has heard our prayer, and G-d will answer it at the right time.

G-d knows that answering our prayer now will ultimately not be for our own benefit.

Our prayer has been answered, but we just don’t know it yet.

Our prayer has been answered, but for someone else’s sake.

There are countless disappointing responses. At the end of the day, it is hard to find comfort when our prayers seem to fall upon deaf ears.

And then, suddenly, on Yom Kippur, G-d reveals that there is one prayer that will not go unanswered: the Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy. The Talmud teaches that “a covenant has been made regarding the Thirteen Attributes that they will not return empty” (Rosh HaShana 17a). This prayer will not be returned empty to the sender; it will be filled and fulfilled.

To understand how this prayer works, we must recall that the first Yom Kippur in history fell forty days after the seventeenth of Tammuz and the sin of the Golden Calf. No sooner than the Torah was given to Israel at Sinai, the people began dancing around the Golden Calf in a terrible act of betrayal. Forgiving them would require so much atonement, so much absolution.

Moses once again ascended Mount Sinai, where he pleaded on behalf of his people for forty days.

On the fortieth day, which was the tenth day of Tishrei, G-d bestowed upon Moses a tremendous gift: “G-d passed before him and proclaimed: A G-d compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abound- ing in kindness and truth, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, bearing iniquity, transgression, and sin; cleansing” (Ex. 34:6–7).

These words have become pillars of the Yom Kippur liturgy. We recite them twenty-six times over the course of Yom Kippur – a number corresponding to the numerical equivalent of G-d’s four-letter name. We say these words aloud, reminding G-d that He passed before Moses and allowed compassion to bypass justice. In doing so, we remind ourselves that it is

possible to start over again even after a terrible rupture.

These words have tremendous power. Rabbeinu Bachya (1255–1340) writes:

And you need to know that all who understand the Thirteen Attributes and know their meaning and their essence and pray them with intention – their prayers will not return empty. And behold, in our day, when we are in a state of exile and we have no high priest to atone for our sins and no altar to offer sacrifices upon, and no Temple, we will not be left standing before G-d devoid of our prayers and of the Thirteen Attributes. (Rabbeinu Bachya on Ex. 34:6)

We return to that wondrous moment in which G-d gave Moses the Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy.

R’ Yochanan says, “Were it not explicitly written, it would be impossible to say it.” The Talmud goes on to describe an image quite diffcult for the human intellect to comprehend:

The Holy One, blessed be He, wrapped Himself in a prayer shawl like a prayer leader and showed Moses the order of the prayer. He said to him: Whenever the Jewish people sin, let them act before Me in accordance with this order and I will forgive them. (Rosh HaShana 17a)

After we sinned and transgressed with the Golden Calf, G-d wrapped Himself up like a prayer leader, as it were, and prayed on behalf of all of us.

This is the secret of the Thirteen Attributes, which will not return empty. And this is the secret of how to ensure that our prayers are accepted. If we want G-d to accept our prayers, we have to pray on behalf of others. As we recite in the Selichot service, “G-d, You taught us to speak Thirteen Attributes.” G-d instructs us: “Let

them act before Me in accordance with this order.” The Hebrew word for prayer book, siddur, comes from the same word as “order.” When we come before G-d with our ordered prayer book, G-d will forgive us.

The Thirteen Attributes as an Alternative Confession

Rabbi Ben-Tzion Mutzafi writes that the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are also a confession of sorts. When we recite them, we lament the fact that we are not guided by these attributes in our relationships with the other people in our lives. After all, we are commanded to walk in G-d’s ways, and the Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy are some of these ways. As the midrash teaches, “Just as G-d is merciful – so too should you be merciful. Just as G-d is gracious – so too must you be gracious” (Yalkut Shimoni, Eikev 473). As we recite this part of the liturgy, we must think: If only I were compassionate. If only I were gracious.

“L-rd, L-rd, compassionate G-d” –If we were more compassionate, we would be better at reconciling with others. The Hebrew word for compassion, rachamim, comes from the word for womb, rechem. Compassion is the ability to grow and nurture and make space for others. If we were able to connect to those around us more expansively, everything would look different.

“And gracious” – Graciousness is the ability to stop expecting a reward for each instance of good behavior. We need to learn to give freely and to stop craving recognition.

“Slow to anger” – We mourn our anger, which destroys all the goodness inside us. Anger burns away at our relationships

with others, especially with our spouse and children.

“Abounding in kindness” – This is one of the most diffcult challenges in our interpersonal relationships. We cannot help but lament our own inadequacy. Yes, everyone can rally for the occasional major social justice project, especially when there is a lot of pomp and circumstance involved. But to be abounding in kindness is not about running in a marathon once a year to raise money for those with disabilities. It’s about acting kindly on a regular basis – being patient with the elderly neighbor who always needs our help, smiling at the student who still doesn’t understand. It’s not easy. I wish that I were abounding in kindness.

“And truth” – There are so many times when we fail to act truthfully. If only I had kept my promises….

“Extending kindness to the thousandth generation” – We have a tendency to remember grievances and to bear grudges for years on end, while readily forgetting acts of kindness. By contrast, G-d remembers our good deeds for thousands of years.

“Bearing iniquity, transgression, and sin; cleansing” – We are not expected to say that just as G-d is able to overlook our wrongs and move on, so, too, should we overlook our grievances and move on. Rather, we are supposed to bear one another’s offenses and bear with one another. We must remember that both the new Tablets and the shattered Tablets were placed in the Ark (Brachot 8b). There is no forgetting, but there is forgiveness. We bear our grievances and carry them with us to a place of reconciliation.

And so the Thirteen Attributes, in which we remind G-d how connected we are to Him, also contain a plea for a deeper connection with our fellow human beings. They reflect the notion that we can achieve connection with G-d only by means of our connections with other people. We must wrap ourselves up like prayer leaders and ask that we, too, be guided by the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy.

The covenant made with the Thirteen Attributes is that they will not return empty. When we come before G-d to ask to be judged mercifully, G-d challenges us to judge each other mercifully. G-d wants to see if we are able to ensure that the people around us are not left to return empty-handed.

Yom Kippur is essentially about love – the love for other people and the love for G-d. Each is bound up in the other. Rabbi Meir Simcha of Dvinsk (1843–1926), known as the Meshech Chochma,

Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi

offers a beautiful explanation of this notion:

The Sages taught that when one’s love returns to oneself, it emerges out of opposition. For instance, the poor person loves the wealthy person because he benefits from him. And the land loves the sky because it is a source of rain. All of this love returns to oneself. But the love that returns to the beloved emerges out of a sense of equality, resemblance, and parity, like a wise person who loves another wise person.

The Meshech Chochma distinguishes between two types of love. There is the love that is about benefiting from others, and then there is genuine love. He asks whether our love for G-d must necessarily be the first kind of love, since there cannot possibly be any equality with G-d. How can we know that our love for G-d is genuine and that it is not merely an infantile dependence? How can we know that we don’t merely love ourselves and therefore love anyone who responds to our needs?

And so [this higher form of love can exist vis-à- vis G-d] only when an individual cleaves to G-d’s ways and genuinely loves G-d. When does this happen? When he recites the Thirteen Attributes of Divine Mercy. When he says, “compassionate and gracious,” he must think to himself, “Just as G-d is gracious, so too must you be gracious.” If so, then he begins to develop a sense of identification with G-d, and he will cleave to G-d’s attributes and long for the divine. And this is genuine love (Meshech Chochma 18–19).

The only way to cleave to G-d is by cleaving to the messengers whom G-d dispersed throughout His world, namely, the other people in our lives. G-d sends us these other people – especially those who are closest to us – so that we will practice the Thirteen Attributes on them. When we express love for other people, we are cleaving to the Divine Attributes because G-d loves humanity. We are making ourselves like G-d, who loves human beings. Just as God is compassionate, so, too, will we act with compassion. Just as God is abounding in kindness, so, too, will we perform acts of kindness. Just as G-d is slow to anger, so, too, will we try to restrain our tempers.

Only when we become similar to the object of our love can we love selflessly. Only then can we love our neighbor as ourselves (Deut. 6:5).

During the Yom Kippur prayers, we recite the Thirteen Attributes twenty-six times. The numerical equivalent of the Hebrew word for love is thirteen. Our love for G-d amounts to thirteen, and G-d’s love for us amounts to another thirteen. Together they make twenty-six, which is the perfection of the Thirteen Attributes. Twenty-six symbolizes this doubled, reciprocated kind of love. It is not that we love out of need. Rather, we love in much the same way as we are loved.

A misanthrope cannot love G-d. If

we do not love other people, then our relationship with G-d is necessarily needy and selfish. Only when we love others can we genuinely love G-d, because in our love for others we become like G-d.

How Much Do You Weigh?

One of the Thirteen Attributes is “abounding in kindness.” For the most part, we are average human beings; very few among us are truly righteous. So, as the Talmud explains, G-d comes and tilts the scales in favor of kindness.

But how can it be? Doesn’t the Torah teach, “You shall not tilt the scales of justice” (Deut. 16:19)? How can G-d be abounding in kindness? That is, how can G-d make more of our kindness? Is this not a perversion of justice?

The Talmud asks how exactly G-d tilts the scales in favor of kindness:

How does He do this? R’ Eliezer says: He pushes down on the side of the merits, as it is stated, “He will again have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities” (Micah 7:19). R’ Yossi bar Chanina says: He bears [i.e., raises] the side of sin, as it is stated, “He bears sin and forgives transgression” (Micah 7:18) (Rosh HaShana 17a).

Rashi explains that G-d pushes down the side of our merits and outweighs our transgressions. Tosafot adds that G-d “bears” iniquity, meaning that G-d raises the side of the scale containing our sins.

Rabbi Ezra Bick, a contemporary rabbi living in Israel, explains that every time we commit an act of kindness, G-d weighs it more heavily than a corresponding sin because that act of kindness has repercussions. Someone else invariably observed our behavior and was inspired to emulate it. In the Thirteen Attributes, this is referred to as “extending kindness.” The kindness we perform extends to others, thereby making the world a better place. By acting kindly, we have sown a seed of kindness in the world, and it will multiply. And so G-d weighs our single act of kindness more heavily.

At the same time, we are told that G-d bears iniquity. That is, G-d bears the weight of our sins along with us. G-d is aware that we are all confronted with challenging situations beyond our control: For instance, a man may speak ill of his mother because he is living in close quarters with her, since he cannot afford to provide her with a place to live on her own. These circumstances are not entirely his fault, and so G-d assumes some of the responsibility for his sin. G-d is abounding in kindness, and G-d bears iniquity. In other words, G-d weighs our acts of kindness more heavily while also bearing the burden of our iniquity along with us.

Avinu Malkeinu, Our Father Our King

The prayer of Avinu Malkeinu plays a central role in our tefillot over the ten day period of repentance. The words drum on our lips and in our minds as we repeat line after line of this powerful prayer. What is it about the significance of the expression of Our Father, Our King that we repeat these words again and again? Studying the history and authorship of this prayer will perhaps answer this question.

The Gemara (Taanit 25b) describes times of terrible drought when the Jewish people gathered in fasting and prayer beseeching Hashem for rain. On one occasion Rabbi Eliezer, one of the leaders of his generation, led the community in davening for rain. He recited the Shemoneh Esrei, adding six brachot reserved for times of great need. Still, there was no sign of rain.

Rabbi Akiva, Rabbi Eliezer’s student, tried. He recited five brief sentences beginning each one with the words, Avinu Malkeinu, Our Father, our King. As soon as Rabbi Akiva finished his simple prayer, clouds formed and it began to rain. A miracle! The people began to murmur how

Rabbi Akiva, the student, must be greater than Rabbi Eliezer, his teacher. To stop such talk, a voice came from heaven saying that Rabbi Akiva forgives those who do not honor him, while Rabbi Eliezer must be strict to protect the honor of the Torah and the Jewish people.

What was it about Rabbi Akiva’s simple prayer that caused the rain to fall?

As human beings, we have limited ability to perceive others in multiple ways simultaneously. We look at people through the lens of our primary relationship with them. Our behaviors and interactions are filtered through this lens. For example, a mother may be a professor who has spent many years training and practicing her craft, and yet her child relates to her as a daughter rather than as a student. Just as in our human interactions, we see only one “side” or aspect of a person at one given moment, so, too, we perceive Hashem in our limited human capacity in the mode in which He interacts with us.

Working with this reality of the human condition, Rabbi Eliezer formulated a text based on the words of the Anshei Knesset HaGedolah, the Men of the Great

Assembly, who threaded the Shemoneh Esrei prayer with the many unique aspects of Hashem. Hashem’s manifested greatness is captured in descriptions that include King, G-d, Father, Savior, Almighty, Exalted, Supreme Being, Omnipotent, Omnipresent – to name but a few. If Rabbi Eliezer, in fact, captured all these aspects of Hashem’s Dominion through the recitation of Shemoneh Esrei, what then was the uniqueness of Rabbi Akiva’s formulation?

The greatness of Rabbi Akiva is not that he introduced us to the notion that G-d is our Father and our King. In fact, Rabbi Eliezer himself referred to Hashem as both Avinu and Malkeinu as he recited the bracha of Slach Lanu as it appears in the Shemoneh Esrei, invoking both the titles of Our Father and Our King. The blessing reads, “Forgive us our Father because we have sinned, have compassion upon us our King because we have transgressed.”

The novelty of Rabbi Akiva’s approach is that he fused the Father and King roles together. In doing so, he demonstrated to us that we are able to simultaneously relate to Hashem as both a parent and ruler. He taught us that we can, and we must, at once perceive Hashem as paternal and regal, our G-d that looks at us as His children and His subjects. It is not contradictory for us to experience love, kindness, and compassion from our Heavenly Father and at that very same moment to be awed by His reverential and regal bearing.

Knowing that we have the capacity to not only understand and appreciate that G-d occupies these roles, but we experience Father-King as an indivisible entity is what enables us to recite Avinu Malkeinu. We turn to Him for compassion and for giveness in the way a Father can provide it, but we also turn to our transcendental King who has infinite power to provide us and our universe with life and success. We may then ask where did Rabbi Akiva find

the capacity to experience the dual roles of Hashem’s kingship and fatherhood as one? Perhaps the Talmud’s description of the conclusion of the story is the source for the answer to this question.

The Gemara’s postscript informs us that Rabbi Akiva was able to forgive those who didn’t honor him. This detail reveals how Rabbi Akiva as a person was able to experience other people as multi-faceted. The same person who slighted him remained worthy of forgiveness. Rabbi Akiva translated his human interactions into his relationship with G-d. The Talmud’s assessment that Rabbi Akiva forgave those who didn’t honor him was precisely what entitled him to refer to Hashem as both Avinu and Malkeinu at once.

Rabbi Akiva gave us the gift of an expanded view of both humanity and G-d. When relating to others, knowing that people are multidimensional should motivate us to assure that we do not use a singular lens in perceiving their actions. By allowing for alternative narratives or explanations, our capacity to forgive each other is increased.

This concept is certainly true in our relationship with the Divine. We are blessed to recognize and interact with Hashem as Avinu Malkeinu. This knowledge should strengthen and inspire us to realize that even if perhaps we have fallen short of His expectations this year, we remain not only His subjects but His children who will be forgiven.

Rebbetzin Dr. Adina Shmidman

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Neila: Abandoning Self-Deception

Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

Rabbeinu Bachaya says that the purpose of everything one does during the day is the Torah we learn at night and that the ultimate purpose of the Torah we learn at night is to prepare ourselves for Shabbos. He continues that the purpose of all of the Shabbosim of the year is to prepare one to reach the Yomim Tovim. And the purpose of all of the Yomim Tovim is to enable one to prepare for Rosh Hashana and the ten days of teshuva. But the purpose of Rosh Hashana and the ten days of teshuva is to prepare for Yom Kippur, and the purpose of all of Yom Kippur is to reach that one last hour of Yom Kippur: Neila. And the pinnacle of Neila is when we call out, with a whole heart and with simplicity, “Shema Yisroel Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad!” and “Hashem Hu HaElokim! Hashem is G-d!”

The pasuk we quote (Melachim 1:18:39), “Hashem is G-d!” is from the

Jewish people’s reaction to Eliyahu Hanavi’s showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mr. Carmel. As we discussed in the parshios of Bamidbar and Naso, Eliyahu Hanavi used that opportunity to rebuke the Jewish people for lacking any sense of embarrassment at the double life they were leading. He told them (Melachim 1:18:21), “How long will you dance on two sides of the fence?! If Hashem is G-d, go after Him! And if Baal is, go after him!”

On one hand, they were Jewish and kept mitzvos, but on the other hand, they were immersed in one of the basest forms of idol worship. He wanted to imbue them with a sensitivity to such contradictions. Even if they were not perfect, they should at least feel embarrassed when they serve the Baal and see it as a contradiction to the holiness they longed for as Jews.

Because this recognition that Hashem is G-d is the culmination of

Neila, it means that if we focus on nothing else at Neila, it must be this recognition of the truth. While cultivating a feeling of embarrassment and shame is not in vogue these days, it is critical to living a meaningful life. As the Gemara (Nedarim 20a) says, quoting the pasuk in Shmos (20:16), “‘In order that fear of Him should be upon your faces’ refers to embarrassment; ‘in order that you not sin,’ teaches that embarrassment brings to fear of sin.” We cannot continue pretending that the aveiros we do are nothing and do not pose a contradiction to righteousness and attachment to G-d.

Several times throughout Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, we say the piyut, “Supernal King,” in which we contrast the true King’s splendor with the “impoverished king,” man. The paytan tells each of us with our little fiefdoms “You dwell amidst deception.” We indulge in whatever our weaknesses are but deceive ourselves into not realizing that our indiscretions are incompatible with our true aspirations.

A person must be sensitive to the contradiction of davening Mincha from the same electronic device on which he looks at things at which a Jew is forbidden to gaze or on which he has wasted so much time with idle entertainment. If it were permitted, many people would download the machzor and daven from them on Yom Kippur as well! We so often fail to recognize the contradictions we live with. We must live with the simple recognition that Hashem is G-d and He sees everything. In our lives of deception, we may delete our browsing history and think that we have fooled our wives, won’t get caught, and have erased what we have looked at. But we cannot deceive G-d. He sees everything. Recognition of this fact is the simplest element of faith.

Our tefillos at Neila have such potential. We do not have to promise Hashem that we will not sin at all in the coming year; that we will be like the Chofetz Chaim, the Chazon Ish, or the Baal Shem Tov. But it would bring such blessings down into the world and into our lives if we simply said to Hashem, “I’m not going to live a lie anymore. I

can’t promise that I won’t slip up again this year, but I’m not going to live in my little kingdom of deception anymore. I won’t live a lie. If I fail, I will at least feel a little embarrassed about it.”

There is a whole crop of deeply spiritual musicians in Eretz Yisroel, many of whom are baalei teshuva through Breslov. One of them, Amichai Chasone, expresses this feeling so beautifully in his song “Aba Yakar,” “Precious Father” in an album called “Alma, World.” In this song, he sings, “For me to cross the imaginary boundary I have created for myself, I must, I must be true. And if I do not have truth, there is no faith. And this hurts me. It hurts me, precious Father!” This is exactly the feeling we must have. We must recognize the truth.

One of the great tzaddikim of our generation was the Bobover Rebbe, Reb Shlomo’le, zt”l. Anyone who has met Reb Shlomo’le is fortunate and one can even inspire himself to do teshuva just by looking at a picture of him. The Rebbe survived the war with his son Naftul’che, and the two of them originally settled in the Upper West Side. The Rebbe was so broken he felt he had no strength to attempt to build up Bobov chassidus again and wanted to live the rest of his life learning in the back of a beis medrash somewhere, were it not for the Satmar Rov’s encouragement and chizuk.

At the beginning, he and his son started a little shtiebel in the Upper West Side. It was so small, they sometimes did not even have a minyan.

One Friday night, the Bobover Rebbe was in the street looking for a tenth man for Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv, and he spotted someone he thought was Jewish, so he said to him in Yiddish, “Come, we need a tenth man for the minyan.”

Initially, the man refused, but the Rebbe insisted, so the man, Yankel, told him, “You know, back home, I was the baal tefillah, I led davening. So I will join you if I can lead the davening.”

The Rebbe complimented him, telling him that they were fortunate to have found someone to lead the davening. The few chassidim in the shtiebel were a bit put off since it appeared this man, a fellow survivor, was not at all

Rav Moshe Weinberger

observant. But the Rebbe invited him to lead, so he led the davening.

The following Friday night, Yankel did not wait to be invited to shul or to lead the davening. He walked right into shul and straight up to his place and began leading Kabbalas Shabbos. The next morning it was the same thing as he led Shabbos morning davening as well. This went on for several weeks, and the regular attendees in shul began to get more and more annoyed. It was clear that this man was not even observant, yet he walked straight into shul to lead the davening every week.

Then, one Friday night, Yankel did not show up. The Rebbe waited a little bit for him but they eventually started without him. And he did not show up on Shabbos morning either. Worried, the Rebbe asked his son Naftul’che and his friend to go find Yankel. They initially protested, pointing out to the Rebbe that this was Manhattan and not Bobov. They had no idea where to look. But the Rebbe insisted, so they went out.

Naftul’che and his friend went to a nearby park, and lo and behold, they found Yankel right away, sitting, reading a newspaper, and smoking. This confirmed what they already knew; that Yankel was not at all observant. Not wanting to embarrass him by approaching him and “catching” him in the act of smoking on Shabbos, they returned and told the Rebbe that they had found Yankel. “Well, where is he?” They answered that they had found him smoking.

But the Rebbe argued, “No, he was not smoking.” But the Rebbe’s son, Naftul’che told his father that indeed, they were fairly close to him and got a good look. It really was Yankel. “No, that wasn’t Yankel smoking. You made a mistake.” Naftul’che’s friend spoke up, confirming that indeed, it was Yankel, and that he recognized him and saw him smoking on Shabbos.

The Rebbe told them, “No, Yankel was not smoking. The ‘Daitsche,’ the German, the Nazi, was smoking. It wasn’t Yankel. Now, go get Yankel.”

They were bewildered and did not fully comprehend what Reb Shlomo’le was saying. But they went back to the park only to find that Yankel had already left. They returned to the shtiebel and told their father, who was

very upset and disappointed. Yankel never did return to the shtiebel.

The Rebbe went on to move to Crown Heights, and then Boro Park, where he began slowly rebuilding the Bobov dynasty. About thirty years after Reb Shlomo’le’s time in the Upper West Side, he was making a weekday tisch with hundreds of chassidim, and a new face walked into the room crowned with a beautiful beard and peyos. The man approached the Rebbe and asked, “Do you remember me?” The Rebbe looked at him and thought but could not place the face. So he explained, “I’m Yankel, the one who led the davening in the Upper West Side.”

The Rebbe was overjoyed! He hugged and kissed the man and asked him what brought him to Boro Park. He placed an envelope in front of the Rebbe and told him that he was making a chasuna and wanted to invite the Rebbe. The Rebbe told him on the spot that he would be there and then turned to his son Naftul’che and told him, “See, I told you it was the German smoking. Not Yankel.”

We are also damaged by the coarseness of this world. While none of us can compare what we have been through to what Yankel and the Bobover Rebbe went through in the war, what we have been through has put us in a position where we find ourselves doing things that do not reflect who we really are. We must hear the voice of Reb Shlomo’le of Bobov saying to us, “It’s not really you. It’s the German. The evil inclination. The other side.”

Let’s be honest about what we’re doing wrong but recognize who we really are. Our mistakes are not who we are. They are a departure from our essence, our true goals.

May we merit to daven with truth and keep in mind that while we cannot promise G-d that we will be perfect, we can resolve to end the lies and abandon our little kingdoms of deception.

May we merit to see the return of the Navi who taught us sensitivity to the truth and an intolerance for living a life of contradictions, Eliyahu Hanavi with the coming of Moshiach, may it be soon in our days.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the founding Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

Aspeaker once started his seminar by holding up a $100 bill. “Who would like this $100 bill?” he asked.

Every hand in the room went up. The speaker looked around, and then crumpled the bill in his hand.

“Who wants it now?” he asked.

Every hand in the room remained in the air.

“Well,” he replied, “What about now?” He dropped the bill on the ground and stomped on it with his shoe.

He picked up the now crumpled and dirty bill and showed it to the crowd.

“Who still wants it?”

Every hand was still up in the air.

“My friends, you have just experienced a very powerful lesson. No matter what I do to this money, no matter how crumpled or muddy it gets, it does not decrease in value. Many times in our lives, life has a way of crumpling us up and grinding us in the dirt. We make bad decisions or deal with poor circumstances, and we begin to feel worthless. We feel that Hashem has abandoned us, that He no longer values us. But no matter what has happened, and no matter what will happen, you will never lose your value. You were created b’tzelem Elokim, and nothing can change that.”

Yom Kippur: A Mysterious Day

As we approach Yom Kippur, we recognize that it is unquestionably one of the most important days of the year. And yet, in many ways, it is a mystery. While one might assumedly categorize it as a day of suffering and sadness, Chazal refer to Yom Kippur as a spiritually uplifting day of atonement and rebirth (Taanis 4:8). There is even an element of the day that is associated with the happiness of Purim (Yom “Ki”-Purim, a day like Purim). At the same time, though, it is a fast day. We normally characterize fast days as times of mourning and sadness, such as Shiva Asar B’Tamuz and Tisha B’Av. How is Yom Kippur different, and what is the nature of this day?

Soul Questions: What Are We?

Arguably the most important concept in life, though often misunderstood, is the nature of the soul. Most people believe that they “have” a soul, some spiritual essence they possess within themselves. However, the deeper Jewish sources reveal a profound spiritual secret: you don’t have a soul, you are a soul. In other words, the soul is not an aspect of your self, or some spiritual component of your being; it is your very self. You are a soul, a consciousness, a spiritual being. When you say “I”,

The Mystery of Yom Kippur

you are referring to your soul, your inner sense of self. You have a body, emotions, and an intellect, all different aspects and expressions of your soul. But you are a soul, a neshama, an infinitely expansive consciousness.

The Birth of Finitude

A soul is angelic, perfect, pure, and transcendent. This is what Chazal refer to as your “fetal self,” when you were still in the womb, just before entering this physical world (Niddah 30b). However, the moment one enters this physical world, the infinite expansiveness of the soul is confined within the physical body. The body is the container of the soul, but it is also the soul’s vehicle and tool, allowing the soul to manifest its will in this world. This is our mission in life. We enter this world with an undeveloped vehicle, our limited body. The soul, our existential self, is already perfect, but we don’t yet have access to the fullness of our true self. As we journey through life, we tap into greater and greater aspects of our soul, our self, and we must then manifest them into the world through our physical bodies. In doing so, we uplift our physical vessels, and enable them to tap into greater and greater aspects of our true self. This is the beautiful cycle of life, the endless expansion and expression of self into this physical world.

Our Inner Struggle

While this perspective is both powerful and fundamental, its implementation is elusive, and perhaps humanity’s most central struggle. Many people believe that they are a body, a physical, finite being. Having forgotten our true selves, we are born with the illusory belief that we are only that which we can see. We look in the mirror, seeing only flesh and bone, and we believe that this is all that we are.

However, this is merely our starting point. The turning point in life is the moment we realize that we are angelic souls in a physical casing. We are not physical beings attempting to have a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings trying to uplift our physical experience. This is the central theme of Yom Kippur.

Yom Kippur: Flying With Angels

Yom Kippur is the one day of the year when we completely free ourselves of our physical limitations, embracing our angelic self. This day embodies true teshuva, when we return to our ultimate root, to our spiritual, perfect self. Chazal characterize Yom Kippur as the one day of the year when we have the ability to become a malach (angel). On this day, our lower self and phys-

ical urges are powerless, they cannot bring us down. They formulate this idea through the following gematria: “Ha’Satan”- the evil inclination, has the numerical value of 364. There are 365 days in the year, but the Satan only has power on 364 of those days. Yom Kippur is the one day where the Satan, the Yetzer Hara, has no power over you. On this day, you can completely transcend and experience angelic perfection (Yoma 20a).

Why Do We Fast?

There is a paradoxical relationship between the body and the soul:

• Your soul, which is your “self,” is transcendent, infinite, and purely spiritual. You cannot see, smell, or touch the consciousness, the mind. You will never see someone else’s inner world.

• The body, however, is finite, limited, and physical. Your soul will never die, but your body will eventually age and wither.

If the soul and body are complete opposites, how do they manage to coexist as one? One would expect them to repel each other, like two opposite sides of a magnet. This is the powerful purpose of food. There needs to be something to keep your soul attached to your body, some kind of “glue.” Eating food generates the energy that keeps your neshama connected to your body. That is why the lack of eating has the opposite effect. What happens when you don’t eat? You become faint. What happens if you continue to fast? You will pass out. And if you still don’t eat, your soul will leave your body and you will die. Eating maintains the connection between your soul and your body; it is what keeps you alive.

We can now understand the concept of fasting, especially on the day of Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, we attempt to live as malachim, completely transcending the

physical world. We therefore fast, allowing our soul to somewhat transcend our body, enabling us to experience one day of living in an angelic state.

This principle sheds light on all the issurim of Yom Kippur. We don’t engage in the physical world because Yom Kippur is a day of transcending the physical aspects of human experience.

The Opportunity of Yom Kippur

This is the unique opportunity that Yom Kippur presents: to transcend, to experience the infinite. Unlike other fast days, it is not a day of suffering and mourning, but one of spiritual transcendence. As the famous quote goes: On Tisha B’Av, who can eat, on Yom Kippur, who needs to?” This is why the Rambam (Hilchos Shevisas He’Asor 1:4) states that on Yom Kippur we “rest” from eating. This is not a day of prohibition and suffering, it is one of completely embracing the spiritual, tapping into our absolute root, our truest sense of self.

May we be inspired to fully experience our angelic selves this Yom Kippur, and then infuse the totality of our spiritual acquisition into our physical life, elevating our actions and intentions as we move this physical world towards its ultimate spiritual root.

Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is a bestselling author, international speaker, and the CEO of Self-Mastery Academy. He is also a business, executive, and leadership coach, with a unique approach based on Torah values and principles. His bestselling book, The Journey to Your Ultimate Self, serves as an inspiring gateway into deeper Jewish thought. After obtaining his BA from Yeshiva University, he received Semicha from Yeshiva University’s RIETS, a master’s degree in education from Azrieli Graduate School, and a master’s degree in Jewish Thought from Bernard Revel Graduate School, and then spent a year studying at Harvard as an Ivy Plus Scholar. He currently lives in Chicago with his wife and son where he is pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago. To enjoy more of Rabbi Reichman’s content, to contact him, or to learn more about his services, visit his website: ShmuelReichman.com

Why The Hollywood Writer’s Strike Matters

As you drive west on Pico Blvd. passed Motor Ave. you likely can’t help but notice Hollywood writers fervently striking in the hot sun. If you don’t work in the industry, you may not think much of it. It actually has practical effects on the greater community and presents a good opportunity to examine and appreciate how collective bargaining in California works. It wasn’t until I took a course in employment law in law school that I realized how relevant unions are to our everyday lives.

Labor unions are composed of workers formed to protect workers’ rights and advance their interests. Unions negotiate with employers through a process known as collective bargaining. Together they enter into a contract that specifies workers’ pay, hours, benefits, and job health and safety policies.

Historically, unions have achieved higher wages, more reasonable hours, safer working conditions, health benefits, and aid when retired or injured. They have exerted a broad influence on American life, reshaping the political, economic, and cultural fabric of the country. Even if you are not part of a union, chances are that you have or will benefit from their

achievements because non-union employers often mimic changes made by unions.

A strike is defined as an organized stoppage of work conducted by laborers in order to impose bargaining power against employers. The idea being that if all workers cease to work, then it will greatly cut into the employer’s bottom line and force the employer to negotiate terms to resume work.

Striking dates back over one hundred years, beginning with The Great Southwest Railroad Strike of 1886. During the Great Depression, in 1932, the Ford Hunger March, also known as the Ford Massacre took place. It was a demonstration by unemployed auto workers in Detroit, Michigan, whose salaries

were reduced by Ford. The march began in Detroit and ended in Dearborn, Michigan in a confrontation in which four workers were shot to death by the Dearborn Police Department and security guards employed by the Ford Motor Company. More than 60 workers were injured, many by gunshot wounds.

Today, the California Teachers Union (“CTA”) is one of the largest teachers’ unions in the country, representing over 300,000 members. Its sheer size gives it significant bargaining power and influence. It is actively involved in state and local politics, both in terms of funding and endorsing candidates who support its goals. The union has a strong presence in the California State Legislature and plays a role in shaping education policy in the state.

In the Writer’s strike, the union is trying to negotiate terms for the writers that are more in line with today’s rising cost of living, secure higher residuals on their content, better deal with streaming media agreements, and protect their content with the rise of AI. The strike has lasted for about four months, and it doesn’t appear to be resolving anytime soon.

The Writer’s Strike doesn’t just af-

fect people who work in Hollywood. It impacts all kinds of businesses, including restaurants near studios, dry cleaners, professional drivers, florists, and tourism.

It is estimated that the California economy has lost $3 billion. That will result in less taxes being collected which will likely negatively affect California’s ability to provide improvement to everyday infrastructure.

It can also have direct political consequences. During the 2007-2008 Writer’s Strike, Donald Trump launched his reality show, “Celebrity Apprentice.” It revived his career, earned him about $400 million, and made him famous for “You’re fired!” That catapulted Trump into the 2020 presidential election.

A deeper discussion of the Writer’s Strike reveals far more reaching lessons and consequences than initially thought. So the next time you drive by Pico and Motor, know that you’re not just driving by a strike. You’re driving through history.

Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal analyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas Torah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail.com.

Lou Shapiro

Dear D ni

Dini Gres

Recently I was diagnosed with Cancer. I will have to undergo treatments and follow-ups and with a lot of medical intervention, I am hoping I will get better and have a complete recovery please G-d. To say that I am scared is an understatement, I am petrified for my life. I am debating if I should tell people. As of now, only my spouse knows. Besides the fact that people see me as a strong person, I don’t have the patience to hear from them how sorry they are for me. Then there is the issue of Tefilla. On one hand, if I tell people they could daven for me, and I need that just as anyone who is sick, but then I think about how others will be davening for ME, and I am so uncomfortable about it. Should I tell my family and friends? Should I give my name to Tehillim chats and lists that go around the community?

Suffering in Silence

Dearest Reader, I read your question today and found myself once again asking Hashem to please end the suffering that cancer brings and to just end cancer itself. Being petrified in your life is the accurate description I could imagine anyone in your position would have.

First, I want to wish you mental strength to get through this difficult time and physical strength as you begin treatments. Hashem should bless you and your family with everything you need to get through this. Writing to me was brave and I want to treat your question with care and sensitivity.

Second, you wrote that you are used to people seeing you as a strong person and I want to address that. It should never be your worry how others see you, even if today you believe they see you as a strong person, but tomorrow you will not be that person. It is okay for you to not be the person you usually are as you are navigating through your illness and your fear for life. I would almost hope you do change because that’s what life experiences do to us. Eventually, it is change only for the good, so if you were a strong person before, there is hope that you will be even stronger. Of all the things you fear, kick that one off the list.

won’t know this until you experience it, so maybe you can start slow. In one scenario perhaps you can gather your family members, maybe in person or a Zoom, and let them in on what’s going on. You have every right to say to them that your preference is to keep it only in the family until you decide otherwise. I don’t know your family, and if they can keep this to themselves, but there is still a risk, a very high one, that at least one family member could share it with a good friend, or their family member from another side.

If you do decide to tell friends or extended family members, your pool of Tefila widens, and perhaps people will come forward who want to help in other ways. And yet there will also be more room for the comments and those who do not know how to behave in these circumstances.

What happens when you keep this to yourself? The silence could be soothing and, at the same time, lonely. This is all new to you. On the one hand, you can have your doctors walk you through this, and on the other, if you did have someone to talk to, maybe they could help you with some of the ins and outs of this illness.

I know from speaking with other cancer survivors that they always appreciated the help and advice from others who had gone through the same experience. They understood them, more than others could. Keeping this to yourself limits you from that knowledge, information, and support.

It is true that when one is sick, and other people are aware of it, a couple of things happen simultaneously. They possibly treat you differently, they say things that do or don’t make sense. (I could write many pages on just this). They daven for you as well. Knowing all these things to be true, you are left deciding that once the news leaves your mouth, it is not something you can take back. I think what it boils down to is whether you would be ok no matter what the reaction is. You For submissions to the “Dear Dini” column, please send your questions to editor@thelajewishhome.com

I laid out what this looks like on both sides, and I am sure there is more debate on both sides, more than I have space for. My advice would be for you to look at the world through a positive lens,

a lens through which the good outweighs the bad. Yes, if you tell others there are the comments or the way they will look at you that make you uncomfortable and are painful. But there is so much more good to look at. If you choose to reach out to an organization, confidentially, you can reach out to Sharsheret.

There is the power of the collective prayer. I can’t understand it, I can’t even tell you why or how that is, but in the Jewish nation, one of our best attributes is that we come together for prayer. Jews from all walks of life unite to pray, especially when it is someone in their community and for an illness. Life is precious, we truly all believe that, and prayer is something even the simplest Jew can do. You did not ask to be the conduit for Jews to pray, but I do believe there is great power in it, and we learn that no prayer goes to waste.

When we look for the good in humanity, we let go of what is not good. When people say to you something along the lines of “I’m so sorry for you,” it’s the most bizarre thing to say to someone (in my opinion) and yet people, well-meaning, good-hearted, people say it every day. You can reply to them, “Don’t be sor-

ry - do a mitzvah in my honor instead.” This is what I meant by mental strength. You will need it! Maybe a good therapist or coach can help in that way. You have a lot to deal with and right now the only focus should be on you. Everyone else will do what they need, most if not all, will be helpful and beneficial for you or your family. Let them do that.

Remember whether you open a Siddur or silently speak to Hashem, there is no greater prayer for your illness than your own. Your davening to G-d is the strongest prayer there is, your outpour, your tears. No one else’s tefillah can come close. May Hakadosh Baruch Hu bless you with a speedy recovery, and may you always have the strength to be there for others in their time of need.

Adina (Dini) Gres is a wife, mother of 4 adult daughters, business owner, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. Through her role as owner of Financial Concierge LLC and coach for personal and financial clients, Adina recognizes that trying to get ahead without managing a healthy mentality is the primary reason blocking individuals from success. When working with her clients, Dini helps them understand how they themselves can change the narrative of their lives. You can hear more from Adina by listening to her podcast titled “Things I think you should know.” Adina also shares on her Instagram page @financialconcierge.

When Adult Children Cut Off Contact

The topic of child estrangement is very painful, both for parents and for children. The parent-child bond is very powerful, and whatever the cause was for the estrangement, it most certainly reflects someone who is in so much pain that they decided to cut off contact with their parents. Whose fault is it? That is a complicated question, and no two situations are alike. Without casting any blame, there are certain steps that parents can take to lay the groundwork for a future reconciliation.

Anger is Counterproductive

It is very natural to feel angry at your child for cutting you out of their life. Your anger might be especially aroused when you are not allowed to see your grandchildren who are victims of a situation that they have no role in. Nevertheless, when your child senses your anger, it will only drive them further away from you. Additionally, when you are angry, your logical brain becomes basically dysfunctional, and any attempt at self-reflection will be stopped in its tracks.

Listen

If your child reaches out to you, and wants to explain to you why they felt a need to cut you out of their lives, then just listen. You might completely disagree with your child’s version of their life with you. However, setting the record straight in your eyes will only convince your child that they should cut off ties once again. Bear in mind, that even if their claim is very exaggerated, there is probably a kernel of truth. If your child feels that their voice is being heard, the door to reconciliation has a greater chance of remaining open. Sometimes, being right is not constructive. This situation is one of those times.

Do Not Appeal to Their Emotions

You might have an urge to tell your child that they should reconcile because of all the pain that they are causing you. Although your point has a lot of merit, it is not helpful for an estranged child to hear that from their parent. If they feel that you have been overbearing and abusive (whether this is true or not), playing the emotion card will only make them double down on their decision to maintain their distance.

Treat Your Child as An Adult

All parents struggle when their children transition from childhood to adulthood. At what point do you start treating your children as adults who are entitled to full autonomy in their decision-making? Some parents will struggle with this for decades or even for their entire lives. When a child is estranged, it is extremely imperative to treat the child as an adult. Respect their right as an adult to make their own decisions even if you vehemently disagree. When children feel that you respect their boundaries, they are much more likely to remain in contact with you, despite any grievances that they might have about the past.

Embrace Your Mistakes

As human beings, we have a very difficult time admitting any wrongdoing. Sometimes, an estranged child has very legitimate complaints about how they were treated by their parents. There are two sides to every story, and it is not black or white. Nevertheless, if you can identify with your child’s perspective and own up to your contribution to past mistakes, the chances for reconciliation are greatly increased.

Seek Professional Help

There are mental health professionals who have extensive training and experience in strained family relationships and estrangement. Sometimes, you have to go by yourself to learn the skills that you need to develop to mend your relationship with your child, and sometimes it is possible to attend the sessions with your child and start the process of overcoming the rift that has separated you from your child.

Family dynamics are complicated, and they encompass years and decades of interactions between multiple members of the family system. When there is a break in the family, it is not going to be easy to repair it. The process can be long and painful. However, if you are determined to have your child back in your life, then no matter how difficult the process is to you, it is most certainly worthwhile.

This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community.

Rabbi Azriel Hauptman

Chef Nir Weinblut

Stuffed Cabbage

Many people have the custom of eating stuffed food during Sukkot as a symbol of abundance. One of my favorite “Ashkefard” dishes, a blend of Ashkenazi and Sephardic cuisines, is stuffed cabbage. When in an Ashkenazi mood, we make it sweet and sour, while in a Sephardic mood, we prepare it more savory, without the sweetness. It’s important to note that Sephardic cuisine doesn’t always mean spicy; it can be flavorful without being spicy.

Ingredients

A Dutch oven is best for both oven and stovetop cooking. This recipe can be prepared using either method.

• 2 heads of Savoy Cabbage or Green Cabbage

• 2 red or white onions, thinly sliced

Meat Mixture:

• 2 pounds ground beef

• 2 shallots, finely diced

• 4 teaspoons garlic powder

• 2 teaspoons paprika (I prefer smoked paprika)

• 2 teaspoons Kosher salt

• 1 teaspoon black pepper

• 4 tablespoons chopped parsley

• 1/2 cup panko breadcrumbs or regular non-seasoned bread crumbs

Directions

• 1 cup basmati rice, pre-soaked in warm water for 45-60 minutes

• 2 eggs, whisked

Sweet and Sour Tomato Sauce:

• 8 cups tomato sauce or pureed tomatoes (I prefer Tuscanini Tomato Products)

• 1 teaspoon onion powder

• 2 tablespoons garlic powder

• Zest and juice of 2 whole lemons

• 1/4 cup brown sugar (adjust for desired sweetness)

• 4-5 ounces cranberry jelly

• 3-4 tablespoons tomato paste

• 1 teaspoon fresh dill

• 1 teaspoon salt (or more to taste)

• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

• Bring a large pot of water to a boil and immerse the whole cabbage (Savoy or Green) until the outer leaves begin to soften, about 10 minutes. Alternatively, you can freeze the cabbage the day before and then thaw it, which makes the leaves softer. Be thorough in washing Savoy Cabbage for bugs, adhering to kosher guidelines. After boiling or thawing, carefully take the leaves one by one and gently rinse or wipe them to ensure there are no extra “ingredients” on them.

• Remove the cabbage from the boiling water and place it in a strainer to cool and drain excess water. If using frozen cabbage, allow it to defrost in the strainer to remove excess water. Cut out the cabbage core and gently peel away whole cabbage leaves. If some leaves tear or break, it’s okay; you can either double up on others or shred them to line the bottom of the Dutch oven.

• While the cabbage drains or after separating the leaves and letting them dry slightly, soak the basmati rice in warm water for 30-45 minutes, then drain well. Mix the ground beef, rice, spices, chopped parsley, breadcrumbs (optional for a gluten-free version), and eggs in a bowl, ensuring thorough mixing. You can prepare the meat mixture a few hours or even a day in advance.

• For the sweet and sour tomato sauce, combine all sauce ingredients in a bowl and stir well with a whisk. Taste the sauce and adjust the seasoning to your preference for sweetness or sourness. To make it sweeter, add more brown sugar or cranberry jelly; for more sourness, add additional lemon juice. You can even add a drop of pomegranate molasses or pomegranate juice for extra flavor.

• Spray your Dutch oven or cooking container lightly and line the bottom with shredded cabbage leaves and sliced onions.

• For rolling the cabbage rolls, if using green cabbage, cut the hard stem off each cabbage leaf with a small knife. For Savoy cabbage, there’s no need to cut the stems. Take about 1-2 tablespoons of the meat mixture and roll up the cabbage. First, fold over the sides to enclose the meat, then continue rolling into a tight cabbage roll.

• Place the cabbage rolls in the Dutch oven or pot, ensuring they are tightly packed together. Pour the tomato sauce generously over the cabbage rolls, ensuring they are fully covered with the sauce.

• For baking, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Cover the pot with the lid and bake for about 50-60 minutes. Check that the meat is cooked through, and the rolls are tender. Cooking times may vary depending on your oven; convection ovens might require less time. If using convection, consider lowering the fan speed halfway through for even baking.

• Now you have a delicious batch of stuffed cabbage rolls ready to enjoy.

Chef Nir’s Tips:

• This stuffed cabbage roll recipe can also be simmered on the stovetop. Just use more sauce and ensure it doesn’t dry out, keeping it on a low flame.

• Instead of boiling and cooling the cabbage, you can place the whole cabbage in the freezer a few days before and then thaw it. Freezing the cabbage softens the leaves and makes them easy to roll.

• Napa cabbage is a great alternative; it looks attractive, tastes better, and is easier to work with.

• Taste the sauce before pouring it over the cabbage to adjust the sweetness or sourness to your liking.

• You can substitute ground beef with ground lamb, a 50/50 blend of lamb and beef, ground turkey thigh (chicken breast is too dry), or any vegan ground beef of your choice.

• When using basmati rice, avoid pre-cooking it as it can make the rice too soft. Soaking it in warm water is like parboiling and keeps it softer. Ensure there’s enough liquid in the cabbage, and cook it on low heat for a longer duration.

• Using a Dutch oven allows you to serve directly from it, eliminating the need for additional serving platters. Plus, it keeps the dish warmer for longer, perfect for serving in the sukkah.

Garlic & Black Truffle

Salt-Crusted French Roast with Fingerling Yukon Potatoes

Ingredients

• 3.5 - 4 lb French Roast

• 1 cup Red Wine (choose a red wine you enjoy)

• 1/4 cup Beef Stock

• 1 tbsp Tomato Puree

• Black Truffle Salt (You can make your own or use Tuscanini’s pre-made version)

• 2-3 Dried Bay Leaves

• 1/2 tsp fresh Chopped Thyme

• 6-8 Peeled Garlic Cloves, Crushed

• 2 tbsp Olive Oil

• 2 tbsp Chopped Italian Parsley

• 1 tbsp fresh Cracked Black Pepper

• 1 Fine Shallot, Chopped

• 1/2 teaspoon Dry and Chopped Capers

• 3-4 tsp Black Truffle Salt

• 1-1.5 lbs Yukon Fingerling Potatoes, washed well

• Cooking Oil

Directions Approximately 2.5 to 3 hours of cooking time

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

• In a small bowl, mix the chopped garlic, pepper, shallots, 1/4 cup of red wine, chopped parsley, and rub this mixture all over the French Roast. Then, take 2-3 teaspoons of black truffle salt and spread it evenly over the beef.

• Heat an oven-safe large pan or skillet with oil. Quickly sear the roast until it turns golden brown on both sides.

• In another oven-safe pan, place the washed Fingerling Potatoes and sprinkle them with thyme.

• Now, place the seared roast over the potatoes and pour the remainder of the wet rub over the beef. Mix the remaining red wine and beef stock (add the tomato puree to the beef stock) and pour this mixture over the roast. Add the chopped capers.

• Cover the roast and place it in the oven for 90-120 minutes. During the final hour, reduce the heat to 300 degrees F. Uncover the roast for the last 15-20 minutes to give it a nice crust.

• Your dish is now ready to serve. You can sprinkle the remaining black truffle salt on top of the beef to enhance the aroma and flavor of the black truffle.

To Make the Black Truffle Salt:

• To make black truffle salt, you can use either coarse salt for cooking or fine flaky salt for garnish.

• Take about 8 oz of flaky sea salt or coarse salt.

• For the fine salt used in cooking, grate about 1 truffle (approximately 10 grams) into the salt mixture. Alternatively, you can use chopped truffle (Tuscanini brand) and mix it with the salt.

• Let the mixture sit overnight or for at least 6-8 hours.

• After the salt has infused with the truffle flavor, preheat the oven to 200 degrees and then turn it off. Spread the salt mixture on a pan lined with parchment paper and let it dry in the oven.

• Once the oven has cooled down, transfer the truffle salt to an airtight jar for

• long-term use. However, be warned, it tends to disappear quickly because it’s so delicious.

• Use a parve pan to make the salt suitable for both meat and dairy items like sliced vegetables or cheese.

SUKKOT

Nathalie Guttmann

Growing up in Los Angeles in the 80’s, my family attended Shaarei Tefilla under the leadership of the dynamic and venerable Rabbi Jack Simcha Cohen for well over 20 years. In those days, Rabbi Cohen delivered powerful and topical sermons, especially at the High Holidays, which was essentially comprised of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Every year, with a booming voice and a clear message of hope for a “gut jaar,” he united our congregation in our shared goals for a healthy and prosperous year, and for continued peace in Israel; his impassioned speeches were infused with shock and awe, but also with warmth and vitality, and remain strongly fixed in my memory.

As a family, we looked forward to attending Shaarei Tefilla on the High Holidays. It was a festive time but also a reflective one, infused with a sense of renewal and enthusiasm for the New Year. Even Yom Kippur, which carried a more somber tone, was an opportunity for inner reflection and personal growth within the confines of a profound communal experience.

Bracing for Yizkor

When it was time for Yizkor, a memorial prayer recited for those who have passed, my sisters and I headed out into the hall, filled with mostly young people, leaving behind our parents and elders to pray for our departed relatives (many of whom had perished in the Shoah). Always relieved that I would not be required to stay for Yizkor, I knew that one day this would no longer be the case. With every passing year, I cherished the fact that I could exit into the shul hall and be counted amongst the fortunate ones whose loved ones were still living.

This year will be different. This Yom Kippur I will stay for Yizkor, during which I will recite my father’s name at the appropriate moment, and as such count him among the many precious Jewish souls that have perished, in communal fashion. His passing was unexpected, following a very brief and devastating illness, the shock of which continues to resonate. In his life, he cherished three things - his family, his love for Judaism, and his beloved Eretz Yisrael. He set an extraordinary example of what it means to be a Modern man of faith and to al-

ways remember his origins. He was a child of the Holocaust who forged a welllived life with a loving family by his side, which included a wife and three daughters (and many grandchildren) who adored him.

It is surreal to think that this dreaded day is upon me, and I am quite frankly bracing for maximum impact: Will I know what to say? How will I manage to hold it together (do I even have to?) Will I find comfort among my fellow mourners? Or will I be lost in my new category as a “Yatom” or orphan?

With the date of my first Yizkor nearing, I am reminded of a book I read on many occasions to my children when they were young called “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt,” by Michael Rosen, a sweet story about a family in search of a bear that is really a metaphor for overcoming diffcult moments; lines such as “We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh, no! We’ve got to go through it!” have returned to me many times over these last few diffcult months, and have helped remind me of the infinite resilience and inner strength we are forced to find when

faced with the reality of an enormously diffcult moment. And the knowledge that eventually we will get through.

Understanding that there’s no real way to avoid staying for Yizkor this year, I am hopeful that by “going through it” with the support of my fellow mourners, I too will find a way through, and experience what so many before me have – a singular way to honor our loved ones through memory and prayer in a deeply meaningful and Jewish way.

Yes, I am nervous about the prospect of staying for Yizkor, but I am also grateful for the opportunity to memorialize my father in the tradition of our forefathers and foremothers, and as such strengthen my connection to him through our shared heritage, and honor my beloved father in a fitting way.

Ms. Guttmann resides in Hancock Park with her husband and two children.

The Blessing of Love

Denise Berger

I’m picturing this totally cinematic moment. It’s the late 1940’s, in Rangoon, Burma. The scene is black and white, with the slightly grainy texture of old film or a memory. A mother and daughter are having tea and holding back tears. Their postures are rigid, until suddenly the mother’s face softens. She takes her daughter’s hand and tells her, just above a whisper, “I want to bless you that you won’t have to go looking for your husband; he will come knocking on your door”.

The young woman is getting ready to leave her childhood home in Burma and join her older sister in the United States. The Second World War had been

away from her parents, close friends, and familiar spaces, sounds, and scents. Little did she know that her mother’s blessing was in the process of coming true. Her brother in law and a friend were looking for a place to hold Sephardic High Holiday services. They approached Rabbi Ganzweig, in the Fairfax area. The Rabbi, noticing their youth, immediately thought of a single congregant in his shul. He asked the pair if they knew of a “nice young Jewish woman for this handsome young Jewish man”. The brother-in-law responded that yes, as a matter of fact he did.

And so it was, mere months after that emotional cinematic moment in Ran-