November 17th 2022 Edition

Dear Readers,

n the last week’s issue, we paid tribute to a Holocaust survivor who built his legacy on establishing educational institutions with strong Torah values, so his children and grandchildren, and the thousands of others within the Los Angeles community, would be able to continue on in Torah. רודו רודל

In this week’s Parsha,Chayei Sarah, we learn about Sarah Imeinu’s life but also how her legacy lived on after her death. The three mitzvos she lived her life on continued in her tent when Rivka, her daughter-in-law, came in. This is one of the first instances in the Torah of mitzvos being passed down to the next generation, from Sarah Imeinu, the very first Jewess. רודו רודל

This concept of passing down traditions of Judaism is not only within the orthodox community. There’s a strong sense of Jewish identity among the millions of Jews worldwide who don’t practice orthodoxy. When my patient, an older Russian man, died of Covid during the height of the pandemic, visitors were not allowed in the hospital at all. I had seen on the chart that this patient identified as Jewish. I gave him the same Kavod I give to all my patients after death, but I also knew how to proceed according to Halacha. I used an ipad to FaceTime his family so they could say their goodbyes. When I offered the adult son if he would like me to say the Shema for his father, he burst out balling. As I said the Shema, with another non-practicing Jewish nurse by my side, there was a huge sense of comfort to the family, who cried throughout, that their father was spiritually cared for at the end of his life. רודו רודל

Last Shabbos, I lit my grandmother’s Shabbos candles for the first time, although she passed away 21 years ago. My Holocaust surviving grandparents, while raised in the shtetl, did not continue to practice orthodoxy upon moving to America. Instead, my grandfather felt he had to work on Shabbos in order to support his family. Two generations later, many of my extended family are living an orthodox lifestyle, although many of my cousins are not.

So why was last week the first time I lit those Shabbos candles? Because the candlesticks weren’t handed down to me, the only orthodox grandchild. They

were gifted to my non-orthodox sister, who received them upon her marriage (which was 8 years after mine). And my grandfather’s Kiddush cup, which he used every single week with his entire family surrounding him, belongs to my cousin. It was used at the double bris of two first cousins, who had baby boys the same day. I was proud to witness their sons being brought into the covenant of Avraham, with the first Bris of Tanach occurring in this week’s Parsha. Because there is a strong Jewish identity interwoven throughout all our lives, regardless of level of religiosity. Because there are strong and powerful traditions that are passed down, regardless of level of religiosity. Because lighting Shabbos candles were started by Sarah Imeninu and have continued to be passed down from mother to daughter, regardless of level of religiosity. Because the smell and taste of a fresh Challah feeds the soul, regardless of the level of religiosity. Because there are hundreds of women who use the Mikvah (as mentioned in the article in our first issue), regardless of level of religiosity

In this issue, we hear of Rabbi Noach Weinberg, who inspired Saul Blinkoff on his journey to orthodoxy, after being raised as conservadox. Rabbi Mahler strongly believes that we teach our children how to give Tzedakah properly, another Jewish value passed down רודו רודל. Liane Pritikin shares how Rebbetzin Dena Weinberg encouraged her students from non-orthodox backgrounds to always thank their parents for starting them off on this journey of Judaism. In her Dvar Torah, Liane mentions that the death of Sarah Imeinu “establishes the power of a woman.” This is done early in Tanach and sets a precedent for all future generations, because it is the woman, the one in the home, who practices and teaches over the mitzvos for the next generation.

Wishing you a beautiful Shabbos in your Jewish Home, Ariela

Yoel Halpern

PUBLISHER publisher@thelajewishhome.com

Sara Halpern

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ads@thelajewishhome.com

Ariela Kauffman

MANAGING EDITOR editor@thelajewishhome.com

Avi Heyman

HEAD OF SALES avi@thelajewishhome.com

Dorit Teichman

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

8950 W Olympic Blvd #147 Beverly Hills, CA 90211 Tel: 213-538-7770 www.TheLAJewishHome.com

The LA Jewish Home is an independent biweekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. All submissions become the property of The LA Jewish Home and may be edited for publication. Pictures may be modified at our discretion to conform to standards of modesty in dress. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any advertised product or business advertised within.

Shabbos Zemanim

Friday, November 18

Parshas Chayei Sarah

Candle Lighting: 4:29 PM

Havdalah: 5:32 PM

Rabbeinu Tam: 5:59 PM

Friday, November 25

Parshas Toldot

Candle Lighting: 4:26 PM Havdalah: 5:30 PM

Rabbeinu Tam: 5:57 PM

This is Yachad.

For 40 years, Yachad has been creating a world where every single Jew – regardless of ability – has a place in the community. And can get the support they need to succeed in school.

Dear Editor,

Thank you for resuming publication. Please let this be the first and last “Noteable Quotes.” It detracts from the value of the LA Jewish Home. We can get the Repub lican Convervative political point of view elsewhere. Also, the farming article was fascinating. I don’t know where else I might have read this. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely, S. Klein Long Beach, CA

Dear Editor, I really like how this paper feels like it’s relevant to me, my wife, and my kids. There is something for every body. We needed this in our community for a long time. I especially like Around the Community, as it gave me a view into what other schools and organizations are up to. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous

Dear Editor, I just wanted to let you know I read the entire first issue of the newspaper cover to cover and enjoyed it so much! I especially loved that I knew so many of the writers!!!

Thank you, A.H.

Dear Editor,

It is so fun to see the different activities that the various schools are doing. I’m wondering if somebody from the magazine could let teachers know that they can share something exciting going on from their classroom, write it up, and send it in to be published. Maybe you’ve con tacted the schools, but the teacher’s may not know.

Best, Middle School Teacher

Dear Editor, My kids and I really enjoyed this paper. Coming from Queens, maybe I’m biased having grown up with the Jewish Press and papers to read on Shabbos, but we definitely liked the combination of feel good articles, things going on in the different schools, relatable Divrei Torah, etc. My son was into the one about lulavim and esrogim. There’s totally something for everyone. There are different publications that may be too one way or the other, but it was nice to see something picked up by everyone in our home (and I can’t tell you how rare that is because each one of my kids is so different).

From, Grateful Father

Dear Editor, Excellent job on the newspaper! It’s always a nice sur prise when a free newspaper is actually an interesting well written read! The paper has great quality and a cu ration of topics people actually want to read! Wishing you lots of success going forward!

T.Z.

Dear Editor, We are happy to see the new LAJH. Great and expanded content. Please consider adding contacts at the end of articles so that we can contact the organizations. Keep up the good work. Hatzlaha Rabbah!

Rabbi Israel Hirsch Valley Village

Dear Editor, It was only recently that the Jewish Home became available to me. But what stood out to me when I finally completed reading was the total omission of any com ment, article, advertisement or any other indication of the current and ongoing hateful and deadly onslaught of anti-semitism in general and specifically in locations near and far. Is the Orthodox Union, Chabad, etc. not affected?? What is their message regarding information and activating Jewish opposition to the onslaught? Is it not newsworthy to our Orthodox Jews? At least in Los Angeles.

From, Morton Huskey

The Week In News

Apple Struggling with Demand U.S. Wants Two States

It’s not easy producing parts of the world’s most coveted item while working in China, a country that has some of the harsh est Covid rules in the world.

Foxconn, a supplier for Apple, has to comply with Chinese restrictions while ensuring that Apple’s shipments are not se verely disrupted just before the key holiday season begins.

The Taiwanese company, which has been racing to control a Covid outbreak at its vast campus in the Chinese city of Zhengzhou, has started recruiting for the fa cility once again and is offering bonuses for staff who had recently left.

the world’s biggest iPhone factory.

“The epidemic has disrupted our work and life, but… the company has achieved milestone results in the current epidemic prevention measures,” Foxconn said on its Zhengzhou recruitment WeChat account on Monday.

Anxious workers had reportedly fled the locked-down facility. Videos of many people leaving Zhengzhou on foot have gone viral on Chinese social media in recent days. Foxconn is now dangling bonuses to entice workers to get back to work.

If they return, staff who left between October 10 and November 5 will receive a one-off bonus of 500 yuan ($69), accord ing to the company. New workers will be offered a salary of 30 yuan ($4) per hour, according to the post.

Last Wednesday, Chinese authorities imposed a seven-day lockdown on the man ufacturing zone that houses the Foxconn plant.

Palestinian Authority President Mah moud Abbas spoke with U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken on Friday, demanding the Biden administration “compel” Israel to stop various “attacks” against Palestinians.

According to State Department spokesman Ned Price, Blinken and Abbas discussed “joint efforts to improve the qual ity of life for the Palestinian people and en hance their security and freedom.”

Price said Blinken “further reaffirmed our commitment to a two-state solution.”

people… including the blockades, extraju dicial killings, home demolitions and settle ment construction, in addition to settlers’ vi olence and violations carried out against the ‘occupied’ city of Jerusalem and its Muslim and Christian holy sites.”

The IDF is in the midst of an anti-ter ror offensive, mainly in the West Bank. The campaign has resulted in more than 2,000 arrests in near-nightly raids; more than 125 Palestinians have died in the raids. Many of those were killed while carrying out attacks or during clashes with security forces; some were uninvolved civilians.

The IDF’s anti-terror offensive in the West Bank was launched following a series of Palestinian attacks that killed 19 people earlier this year.

This week, Apple said it expects iPhone 14 shipments to be hit by China’s Covid curbs, which have “significantly re duced capacity” at the Zhengzhou facility,

Workers will be able to start their work as soon as the “district-level lockdown is lifted,” Foxconn said in the WeChat post, at which point employees will be collected and driven to the factory for a closed-loop system — where staff will work and live on site.

N. Korea Launches More Missiles

siles Saturday flew 81 miles, according to the South Korean military

North Korea has typically protested joint military drills by the United States and South Korea, accusing them of preparing to invade, and cited them as a reason that it was building its nuclear arsenal. But this year, its reaction has been more aggressive.

North Korea fired four short-range ballistic missiles off its west coast Satur day morning, and hours later, two American B-1B supersonic strategic bombers flew over the Korean Peninsula in the first de ployment of its kind since 2017.

North Korea has launched as many as 85 missiles this year, more than in any previ ous year, including 23 fired last Wednesday. It not only tested a new intercontinental bal listic missile under development but fired a flurry of short-range missiles to counter the United States and South Korea as the allies stepped up joint military drills.

One such drill, code-named Vigilant Storm, which involved about 240 warplanes from both allies, ended Saturday after a six-day run. The drill was scheduled to end Friday but was extended a day after North Korea launched an ICBM on Thursday.

The four short-range ballistic mis

It has fired a burst of missiles during such joint military drills by the allies, launching them from across North Korea. By sending them from many different lo cations, even from an underwater silo, the North sought to demonstrate that it could thwart the allies’ missile defense system, military experts said.

Three times since early last month, North Korean military aircraft have flown close enough to the border with South Ko rea for the South to scramble its own fighter jets. North Korea has also fired hundreds of artillery shells and rockets into buffer zones north of the inter-Korean maritime borders.

North Korea may have gained a sense of empowerment from its growing nu clear arsenal, becoming increasingly daring in its military provocations, analysts said.

South Korea and the United States demonstrated their own combined air power superiority this past week, with warplanes conducting a record 1,600 sorties. (© The New York Times)

Price added that Blinken “under scored his deep concern over the situation in the West Bank, including heightened ten sions, violence, and loss of both Palestinian and Israeli lives, and emphasized the need for all parties to de-escalate the situation ur gently.”

According to the official Palestinian news agency Wafa, Abbas briefed Blinken on “Israeli attacks against the Palestinian

An Israeli man was killed in an at tack in Hebron last Saturday, another wom an was killed in a suspected attack in Sep tember, and four soldiers have been killed in the West Bank in attacks and during the arrest operations.

President Joe Biden has been one of the first American leaders to not pursue a peace initiative. During a closed meeting with Palestinian Americans on the UN side lines in September, Abbas revealed how he scolded Blinken, calling him a “little boy” for failing to use his bully pulpit to coax Is rael into making peace.

Nicole Nears Florida

across the northwest Bahamas and central and northern parts of Florida from Tuesday through Thursday, with up to 7 inches possi ble in some locations.

The warning, which means that hur ricane conditions were expected within 36 hours, included Abaco, Berry, Bimini and Grand Bahama islands. A tropical storm warning, anticipating tropical storm condi tions, was in effect for the Andros, New Prov idence and Eleuthera islands.

Subtropical Storm Nicole quickly took aim at land after it formed in the south western Atlantic on Monday, prompting a hurricane warning for portions of the north western Bahamas and a storm watch along the east coast of Florida as forecasters said it could reach hurricane strength by midweek.

Nicole was forecast to approach the northwestern Bahamas on Tuesday, when it was expected to strengthen and move near or over those islands Wednesday, meteorologists said. The storm, which was packing 45 mph winds Monday evening, will head toward Florida’s east coast as a hurricane by Wednes day night.

In preparation, the government of the Bahamas issued a hurricane watch that was upgraded Monday afternoon to a hurricane warning for the northwestern Bahamas, ac cording to the National Hurricane Center. Three to five inches of rain was expected

In the United States, a hurricane watch, anticipating possible hurricane con ditions within 48 hours, was issued for the east coast of Florida, from the Volusia-Bre vard county line to Hallandale Beach north of Miami in Broward County, and for Lake Okeechobee in the southern part of the state.

The storm is expected to strengthen into a Category 1 hurricane as it approaches the Florida Peninsula, said Jamie Rhome, act ing director of the National Hurricane Center in Miami.

“The worst of the impact will be com ing ashore during the day on Wednesday, and possibly lingering on Thursday,” Rhome said.

Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida on Monday declared a state of emergency for 34 counties that could be in the path of the storm. (© The New York Times)

Future

Adidas

utives are expected to tell investors how they plan to mitigate that shortfall on an earnings call this week.

Side Dish Seltzer

The company thought that their con sumers would be excited to drink and not just eat their favorite foods at their Thanks giving meal.

Adidas and Nike have lost billions of dollars in revenue after severing alliances with certain celebrities who were unapolo getically antisemitic. Now, executives are surveying the damage that the companies are facing after losing those deals.

The road back to normalcy will be much rockier for Adidas than Nike. Adidas’s breakup with rapper and designer Ye, for merly known as Kanye West, over his out bursts ended one of the most lucrative sneak er arrangements in the industry’s history and left a gaping hole in the company’s earnings that may be as large as $251 million. Nike’s suspended its shoe line with basketball star Kyrie Irving after he refused to disavow an tisemitism.

Adidas’s CEO, Kasper Rorsted, is on his way out. His successor will now have to figure out how to sell Yeezy designs to cus tomers without the brand name and whether to rethink celebrity partnerships, all while contending with global supply-chain snags and declining market share in China.

Adidas became heavily dependent on Yeezy since hitching itself to the celebrity in 2013. The Yeezy line grew to almost $2 bil lion in annual sales, or about 8% of Adidas’s total revenue, according to analysts. Premi um pricing gave the collection high margins, and it represented more than 40% of profit at Adidas, according to Morgan Stanley. Exec

“The saga of Ye, not just with Adidas but with brands like Gap and Balenciaga, un derlines the importance of vetting celebrities thoroughly and avoiding those who are over ly controversial or unstable,” Neil Saunders, an analyst at GlobalData Plc, noted. “Com panies or brands that fail to heed this will get stung, especially if they become overly reliant on a difficult personality to drive their business.”

In 2019, Nike Executive Chairman Mark Parker singled out the Kyrie shoe line as a key piece of the company’s basketball future. Nike had planned to release the latest version of his signature sneaker, the Kyrie 8, this month. For now, that’s canceled, and the company hasn’t yet said what it’ll do with the excess inventory. Irving’s shoe deal is set to expire next year. Leaving Irving behind won’t hit the company as much as Adidas. Nike has several big basketball stars signed to long-term arrangements, including LeB ron James, Kevin Durant and Giannis Ante tokounmpo. It also has the sneaker world’s biggest celebrity asset, Michael Jordan, whose Jordan brand generates more than $5 billion in annual revenue for Nike.

Celebrity and athlete partnerships come with inherent risk for the companies that work with them — even a one-off ad vertising campaign ties a face to a brand. Even so, it’s rare to see them explode with such potency. Often the worst that happens is that a spokesperson apologizes after a gaffe, and it’s back to business as usual. But Ye and Irving were unapologetic when confronted with their antisemitic comments, going so far as to double down on their views.

For those who like to drink their side dishes, this drink is for you.

Drink company Aura Bora is now offering Green Bean Casserole sparkling water. Want to know what it tastes like? The beverage has a “sweet, earthy, and buttery flavor” and is like taking a bite out of a “per fectly crunchy, succulent green bean.” Yum.

According to the company’s CEO, “Everyone knows side dishes are the best part of a Thanksgiving meal. So we upped the ante. Green Bean Casserole was inspired by Aura Bora superfans, who LOVE daring and unassuming sparkling water flavors. We like to say, ‘Our Green Bean Casserole is better than your mom’s.’ I hope you think so too.”

PHOTO-2022-11-04-09-21-23.jpg

The refreshing sparkling water is set to come out on November 8 and is only available to select customers.

Or you can just dunk a shriveled green bean into your glass at your Thanks giving meal and enjoy that refreshing taste.

It’s busy work being a bee, but that doesn’t mean it’s all work and no play.

A study recently published in Ani mal Behavior notes that bumblebees, when given the chance, like to fool around with toys.

Researchers from Queen Mary University of London conducted an exper iment in which they set up a container that allowed bees to travel from their nest to a feeding area. Along the way, the bees could opt to pass through a separate section with a smattering of small wooden balls. Over 18 days, the scientists watched as the bees “went out of their way to roll wooden balls repeatedly, despite no apparent incentive to do so.”

The finding suggests that, like hu mans, insects also interact with inanimate objects as a form of play. Also similar to people, younger bees seemed to be more playful than adult bees.

“This research provides a strong indication that insect minds are far more sophisticated than we might imagine,” Lars Chittka, a professor of sensory and behavioral ecology at Queen Mary Uni versity of London, who led the study, said.

Other studies have shown that bees will learn new tricks for food and other re wards.

Scientists are noting that bees’ ability to play is proof that these insects can actually experience feelings.

“They may actually experience some kind of positive emotional states, even if rudimentary, like other larger fluffy, or not so fluffy, animals do,” the study’s first author, SamadiGalpayage, said.

We can’t bee-lieve it.

Hillel Honors Teacher Alison Hendeles

hand-painted butterflies that come together to create a larger image. The wall sculpture will be proudly displayed in the newly renovated Morah Alison Hendeles Family Welcome Center (Doheny Lobby), where Alison’s memory and legacy will shine each day brightly on all students and families entering campus. It will be visible from Doheny, where passersby will enjoy this lively and engaging art work and bask in Alison’s continuing warmth and energy.

On June 14, 2022, the Hillel Hebrew Academy communi ty lost a one-of-a-kind friend, mentor, teacher, and mother. Morah Alison Hendeles a”h was a pillar in Hillel’s Early Childhood with a deep passion for natural play and hands-on learning experiences. She was training to grow this program at Hillel Hebrew Academy through new curriculum and equipment.

To continue Alison’s important work, the Hendeles family and Hillel have spearheaded the Alison Hendeles Living Legacy Project to enhance the child engagement spaces at Hillel. A new notable sensory station will be inaugurated to encourage interactive play and exploration.

Additionally, we have commissioned artist Joel Amit to create a beautiful art installation featuring hundreds of individual,

A few weeks ago, artist Joel Amit flew in from Israel for the kick-off event, where he signed contributors’ names on their but terfly of choice. The first signatures were those of Alex, Noah, and Isabelle Hendeles in loving memory of their dear mother and loving wife.

Construction is underway for The Morah Alison Hendeles Family Welcome Center, with completion in the coming months. The community is invited to a Grand Opening & Dedication Event upon completion. There will be another special butterfly signing for families who dedicate 12 butterflies or more over the next few weeks.

This unique project allows anyone to continue her vibrant legacy, share memories, and pay tribute to an amazing woman. To learn more, visit www.givebutter.com/alisonslegacy.

Leading up to the annual Walk4Friend shipLA, Hillel Hebrew Academy’s 7th grade girls and Shalhevet High School’s 9th grade class partnered with Friendship Circle LA for a phone-a-thon and Chesed day. These Chesed days culminated in raising awareness and funds to provide friendship and inclusion for individ uals with diverse abilities.

lists and scripts to which they avidly stepped up to make calls. Encouraging community and family members to donate, both schools raised impressive amounts, with Hillel raising $3,745 and Shalhevet raising $4,690!

The students left inspired by such a meaningful morning and the funds they were able to raise. It was a huge success for both FCLA and the local schools to be able to teach students the importance of stepping up for friendship, inclusion, and the greater Jewish community.

The LINK Shul hosted a special Mother/Daughter Kumzitz in honor of the yahrzeit of Rochel Imeinu on Sunday night ,November 6th, at the home of Ben and Niva Taylor. Daughters of all ages accompanied their mothers and were treated to a delicious meal and desserts, taking place in the backyard of the Taylor’s home. Mrs. Taylor presented a masterful shiur on the significance of Rochel Imeinu to our generation. The highlight of the evening was the beautiful sing-along Kumzitz led by the renowned Mrs. Rachel Rose on the guitar. The evening was organized by Mrs. Dina Ram, the dynamic and creative Director of LINK’s Youth Activities.

The students met the team, learned about Friendship Circle, and the tremendous impact they could have as volunteers. After an inspiring session, the students were handed call

It is always a highlight to have IDF soldiers come visit Maimonides. The students look forward to welcoming them on campus and creating cards thanking them for protecting us and ארץ ישראל! The streets were lined with students and parents greeting the chayalim and parading with them to the schoolwide assembly. It is truly beautiful to see how the kids received the soldiers. We are so thankful to all the parents who came out to celebrate and applaud them today. Special thanks to the FIDF for bringing us this special day year after year.

Valley Torah High School Girls Division students were up early this Sunday preparing for the VTHS Runbelievable 10K run. The starter’s gun (actually an air horn in this case) blew at 9:00 am and they were off.

Meanwhile, the Boys Division students were finishing Shacharis and preparing for shi ur. Their turn to run the course at Sherman Oaks Park started at 11:00 am that morning.

There was beautiful weather for both groups and many of the rebbeim and staff mem bers joined the students. There was a 5K op tions for those who chose to run it. Many of the runners trained for over a month to reach their goals. Everyone enjoyed the camaraderie and the challenge. They were able to get some exer cise and raise over $10,000 for the Valley Torah Scholarship Fund.

Yeshiva Aharon Yaakov Ohr Eliyahu Celebrates an Evening of Hakaras Hatov

Parents, staff, and friends of Yeshiva Aharon Yaakov Ohr Eliyahu gathered for cock tails, hors d’oeuvres, and pleasant conversation in a transformed YAYOE courtyard this week to cele brate an Evening of Post-Pandemic Hakaras Hatov.

The event honored three community mem bers who helped YAYOE through the difficult pan demic period: Dr. Ellie Goldstein, Clinical Profes sor of Medicine and Infectious Disease Specialist at David Geffen School of Medicine, who spent hours crafting the proper response to each positive test result; Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner, Senior Rabbi & Director of Spiritual Care at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, who spent two years on the front lines of pandemic response; and Dr. Michael (Avi) Helfand, Brenden Mann Foundation Chair in Law and Re ligion at Pepperdine Caruso School Of Law, who used his expertise to help YAYOE negotiate the maze of government regulations.

The program began with YAYOE’s annual cash drawing. (Congratulations to the Rabbi Teller Chesed Fund on winning the $10,000 grand prize,

and to Mrs. Janice Furman for winning a pearl necklace!) It continued in the spacious YAYOE au ditorium with the heartfelt yet entertaining reminis cences of Dr. Elliot Berlin, who was then joined by his 6th grade son, Avraham Yehuda, for some witty repartee about YAYOE life during COVID and its aftermath.

A moving video presentation then told the story of YAYOE’s response to COVID from 2020 to the present, from the perspectives of the admin istration, teachers, parents, students, and, of course, the honorees. It even included live footage of Zoom classes! The audience could also relive the journey through a pamphlet of actual YAYOE correspon dences from throughout the COVID period.

The evening concluded with brief words of Torah from Rabbi Goldberg, along with gift presen tations to the honorees, followed by dessert.

Thank you to everyone who helped make this evening a tremendous success, including the many, many people who took time from their busy schedules to attend!

Over the last 10 years Emek Hebrew Acad emy Teichman Family Torah Center, a Torah Day School that has been servicing the Jewish com munity in the San Fernando Valley for over 60 years, has seen unprecedented growth. Under the leadership of its Head of School, Rabbi Mordechai Shifman, the school has grown from under 500 students to bli ayin harah approximately 900. Over 250 new families have made Emek their school of choice in the last two years alone. Many of these families have relocated to the Valley from the city or from out of State. There has been a growing stu dent base that have been driving in from the Cone jo Valley, Long Beach, and various neighborhoods in the city. Rabbi Shifman believes that Emek is no longer the best kept secret in the Valley, but is now a household name across Los Angeles. “With Siyata D’Shmaya, especially over the last few years, we have been successful in shattering the perception that people need to go to the city for a quality education.” Over sixty students travel from the city to Emek daily. To facilitate some of these families, as well as those parents whose schedule does not allow for pick and drop off, Emek has added bus service for this 2022-23 academic year.

Emek’s two new bus routes include Valley Village and Pico-Robertson, and significantly helps our families avoid long commute times, carpool lines, and can save hours from their weekly schedules. The new initiative also eases traffic on campus and transports our students in a fun and safe man ner. Both bus routes have a Whatsapp group to keep parents updated and informed. Parents are informed immediately upon their arrival to school and are notified of their departure from school, as well as an estimated time of arrival. Bus drivers also have a list of authorized pickups and remain with all students until they are picked up. Emek is proud to offer this new service to our students and families.

Technology Education Initiative kicks off at Yeshivat Yavneh

Yeshivat Yavneh welcomed Dr. Catherine Stein er-Adair to school this week, as they kicked off their two year Technology Education Initiative. Dr. Steiner-Adair is a clinical psychologist and research associate at Harvard Medical School, and a noted author, speaker and consul tant. Since the 2013 publication of her award-winning book, The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Fam ily Relationships in the Digital Age, Dr. Steiner-Adair has consulted internationally about how to reap the benefits and minimize the risks of tech use for all ages.

In her work with Yavneh, Dr. Steiner-Adair held multiple student sessions where she accumulated data to inform her research, and began the discussion on tech

Spivak Hebrew Academy’s Second Grade receives Chumashim

safety and best practices. Dr. Steiner-Adair also met with Yavneh faculty to begin the discussion of their role in help ing the students navigate these technology dependent times. Dr. Steiner-Adair concluded her visit with a parent meeting in the Yavneh gymnasium. She divulged the research that she has accumulated, as well as the data collected earlier in the day, and spoke to the responsibility and impact that parents can have on their children through modeling, best practices, and proper monitoring. Yavneh looks forward to the tools and resources that will be provided, and the chance to implement them, before meeting with Dr. Stein er-Adair once again at the end of February.

Spivak Hebrew Academy second graders received their first Chumash this week in a very special celebration attended by their fellow elemen tary students in first through fifth grades. The very special performance was led by Morah Devorah Rauch, Judaic Studies teacher. Students stood on stage and sang a beautiful rendition of a song called “Sweet Torah” covered by Uncle Moishy. The stu dents sang aloud, “Torah you’re my treasure, To rah, you’re my guide, I hold onto you oh so strong, Filled with love and pride.” The students exuded this emotion as they received their first Chumash and hugged it with such love and pride. Then the students shared wonderful signs they made, which included why they love Hashem, along with an il lustration. Students shared, “I love Hashem because HE created the world!” Rabbi Gabriel Elias, Head of School, addressed the students and wished them a beautiful Mazal tov, followed by the Director of the school, Cecelie Wizenfeld, who led the students in singing “Siman Tov, Umazal Tov” to the class. Parents will attend a reprise performance on Friday to join in the celebration as well. Spivak Hebrew Academy is a Modern Orthodox preschool through fifth grade in West Los Angeles, and will be grow ing into a Middle school in the coming 2023-24 school year.

Parshat Chayei Sarah: Too Modest?

Rabbi David Mahler

I believe that the orthodox world – from left to right –is, in one particular area, too pious, too saintly, too frum, too devout.

We are too tzanua. We subscribe to too exalted a level of tznius. We are too modest and too private.

And I believe I know why.

The Navi Micha (6:8) whittles the primary middos a Jew must live by down to three. He exhorts and inspires his generation to be just and have a commitment to justice. He in spires them to love kindness; to think beyond themselves and be selfless. Finally, Micha demands that the people walk b’tznius, modestly. Tznius is a major virtue and ethic for Am Yisrael. It must be one of the defining characteristics of our holy nation.

So the value of “v’hatznea leches im Hashem Elokecha” is clearly admirable and aspirational. But is it always?

Let me explain.

Avraham was a very wealthy man. We see this a few times in the Torah. First off, in the bracha he is given at the outset of his journey to Eretz K’naan, Hashem tells Avraham that He will bless him (12:2). Rashi explains the nature of this blessing with one word – mammon, money. In addition to the promise that Avraham’s name will be great and that he would be a source of blessing in the world. The world’s teacher of monotheism was also promised wealth.

wife. After a negotiation with the Bnei Chet, he decides to pur chase a plot in the city of Chevron, or Kiryat Arba, for “Arba Meot Shekel Kesef Over LaSocher (23:16)” – 400 silver shek els in negotiable currency. This was an astronomical amount. The gemara (Bava Metzia 87a) explains that each shekel Avra ham used to pay for the plot was worth 2500 ordinary shekalim. Therefore, Avraham paid a total of 1 million ordinary shekalim for the Ma’aras HaMachpeila.

The final example is also the most subtle. After his wife died and his own productive and vibrant years were coming to an end, Avraham began to focus upon the future of his fami ly. He now turns his attention to procuring a wife for his son, Yitzchak. Yitzchak’s wife had to be a worthy successor to his mother, for she would not simply be a wife and other, but rath er a matriarch of Am Yisrael. Avraham dispatched his servant Eliezer to his ancestral home to find a worthy successor to Sarah and perfect mate for Yitzchak. Before beginning his journey, the servant “took ten of his master’s camels, and set out with all the bounty of his master (24:10).” Eliezer, according to Rashi, took kol tuv, all of his master’s bounty - meaning the rough equiva lent of a blank check. Avraham wrote over all of his fortune to Yitzchak and gave Eliezer the deed to show to the prospective in-laws. For the sake of Yitzchak’s future, Avraham is willing to part with his entire fortune.

give speaks volumes about what we value – what is important to us.

Our children need to know where we as parents choose to allocate our tzedakah funds. They need to not only know where we give but why we give there over the plethora of other worthy options. Imagine the fruitful conversation that can be had over discussing with your kids that your family prioritizes educational institutions or supports the indigent in Israel. Why do you give more to Tomchei Shabbos than Hatzalah or Friend ship Circle? Does a greater percentage of your charity go to shul or school? Do you focus on HASC or Camp Simcha?

These are meaningful and enriching conversations that could and should be taking place. Your children can even be a part of the decision-making process if you’d like. I’m sure they have thoughtful insights.

Every cause is a worthy cause but engage your children in these conversations. Don’t be too private about the where and why of your charity.

I’m positive Avraham did not overpay for things that were not important to him – but for things that were – he was unapologetic and unequivocally devoted.

Quit hiding these things from your children, be proud that you give. Be proud about where and why you give your funds.

This special bracha is clearly actualized during his life time. One perek after the promise, the Torah teaches us (13:2) that “Avraham was very rich in livestock, in silver and gold.” And a few chapters later, we are informed (20:14-16) that Avi melech sends Avraham away with “sheep and oxen, male and fe male servants, and a thousand pieces of silver.” Finally, Eliezer, Avraham’s faithful servant says about his master (24:35), “G-d has greatly blessed my master, so that he has become rich; and he has given him flocks and herds, and silver and gold, and ser vants, maids, camels and donkeys.” As one can see through the different perakim quoted, Avraham’s wealth spanned his life time. He didn’t make money, lost some and then regained his wealth again. The implication from the Torah is that, at least from the onset of his relationship with Hashem, Avraham was a fabulously wealthy man. He was loaded!

As an aside, what’s the difference between being rich and being wealthy? The great NBA star Shaquille O’Neal once quipped that he was rich but the man who signs his checks is wealthy.

The Torah is clear that both Yitzchak and Yaakov sepa rately find wealth and lead lives in the upper 1%. However, it is not Avraham’s wealth that interests me. It is how he spends his money that I am intrigued by.

There seem to be three separate instances where Avra ham spends his money and a common theme emerges from all three. One can be found in Parshas Vayeira while the latter two are in Chayei Sarah.

From a young age, we all envision Avraham Avinu sit ting at the entrance to his tent looking here and there trying to find guests to invite into his home. Avraham is the paradigmatic machnis oreach. He invites angels into his tent and treats them like royalty. If making guests feel welcome is the goal, money is no object. However, the pesukim are clear that Avraham had not only a generosity of spirit but extended himself financially as well. Avraham providing food and sustenance is example #1 of how he chooses to spend his money.

Next, at the beginning of Chayei Sarah, the matriarch Sarah passes away at the age of 127. As Avraham is not a native of the land of K’naan, he must find a place to bury his beloved

I remember learning a suggestion that I found both daz zling and astounding. Though I do not remember the source, I remember the idea perfectly because I remember being so taken by it.

In all three instances, Avraham could have achieved pre cisely the same outcome without spending so lavishly and in such abundance. It seems as though Avraham makes a delib erate, conscious and purposeful decision to spend much more than was necessary – much more than would have gotten the job done.

In the opening scene of the Parsha, the special guests are eating to their hearts’ content. But they are angels. They don’t really need to eat at all. Avraham could have prepared anything for them, but he goes above and beyond. He also includes his entire family in the process – assigning different people specific jobs to take care of with the goal of making the guest feel as welcome as possible.

When purchasing a burial plot for Sarah, it is clear that Avraham overspent. He could have gotten the real estate for a nominal sum. Ephron, the leader of the Bnei Chet, even said to Avraham that he is a prince and he does not need to pay. Despite this, Avraham does not just pay, but tremendously overpays.

Lastly, when attempting to orchestrate a shidduch for his son, it becomes clear that no exorbitant gift needed to be exchanged (24:50-51). Perhaps a nice bottle of wine or flowers would have sufficed.

What was Avraham’s motive? Why did he act this way? Why did he go so far above and beyond financially in these three different instances? What lesson can be gleaned?

How we spend our money often says a lot about what we value most. It makes a statement about what things in life matter most. A blank check says “I’m all in!” It says “I care.” Our credit card statements make these declarations all the time.

However, I do not want to focus on the message you thought you saw coming. My message is not what you think.

I believe that we as a community are too modest – too tzanua – with the tzedakah we choose to give. Not to the com munity, but to our children. They need to know that where we

Tznius, modest and privacy, is vital in so many areas in life – just not in this one.

Rabbi David Mahler is Principal at Gindi Maimonides Academy and the YCM Rabbi at YICC.

“Every cause is a worthy cause but engage your children in these conversations. Don’t be too private about the where and why of your charity.”

Torah Thought

Parshas Toldos: Grabbing Mitzvos

detour, and walked around the schach. “A talmid who is missing the sensitivity for a mitzvah, no matter how bright he is, will not fit here in this yeshiva!”

My grandfather Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, quoted the Abarbanel to shed light on this incident. Eisav held some ideals close to his heart and pursued them greatly. Physical strength and mastery at hunting were his passions, and he pursued them, along with the three cardinal sins – idolatry, adultery and murder. Yet service of Hashem and spiritual pursuit were “crushed under his heel.” (The pasuk in Parshas Eikev uses this expression to describe one who does not have the proper regard for mitzvos.)

Parshas Toldos tells the story of the birth of Yaakov and Eisav. The Torah’s description of their birth is unique. The pasuk tells us that when Yaakov was born, “V’yado ochezes ba’akeiv Eisav, and his hand was grasping onto the heel of Eisav.” The Torah describes this phenomenon of Yaakov grasping Eisav’s heel as they are first arriving on this world. What is its significance?

In the early 1800s, two yeshiva students traveled together across Europe to Pressburg, Hungary, to the yeshiva of Rav Moshe Sofer (known as the “Chasam Sofer”), a world renowned Torah institution. One boy was known for his brilliant mind and quick grasp of his studies, and his reputation preceded him wherever he went. The other was also studious and a budding schol ar, but not of the same stature as the first.

It was only a few days after Sukkos, and they arrived in time to take the entrance exam for the long winter zman (semester). Both boys spent time individually with the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Moshe Sofer, as he thoroughly tested the boys on their knowledge of Gemara and its many commentaries.

Later, the faculty and students of the yeshiva were shocked to hear that the Chasam Sofer accepted the second boy into his prestigious yeshiva, but not the first! One rebbi in the yeshiva approached him and asked him why.

“As these two boys walked towards the yeshiva,” the Chasam Sofer explained, “I watched them through a window in my study. There was some loose schach left from Sukkos lying on the side of the road. The first boy carelessly stepped on the schach and trampled it, as he walked a straight path. The second boy however, out of sensitivity for the mitzvah, took a slight

This is precisely where Yaakov entered. When Yaakov saw a mitzvah, or an opportunity to grow, he grabbed it. As he emerged from Rivka’s womb, he was already grabbing those op portunities which Eisav left behind. He grabbed the heel to show that every small opportunity for growth, even the ones crushed under the heel of the scoffers, is important.

This is the secret to spiritual growth. Where others may take a shortcut and trample on the mitzvah, don’t follow. Take another moment to fully understand the gift of a mitzvah. Grab it and grow.

Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky is the Director of Advancement at Yeshiva of South Shore – Yeshiva Toras Chaim Beis Binyamin. He is currently compiling the Torah thoughts from his grandfather, Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, into print, in Hebrew and English. If you have any stories or divrei Torah to share from his grandfather, or to subscribe to receive a weekly dvar Torah from Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky’s teachings, you can email him at skamenetzky@yoss.org.

“As he emerged from Rivka’s womb, he was already grabbing those opportunities which Eisav left behind.“

A koman Baby Gifts Bas

Mitvah

Birthday

Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky

Shalom Bayit Through

the Parsha

Rabbi Nir Yacoby

we hear a conversation between two men. Q: “I need to bury my wife.” A: “Bury her anywhere you want.”

“Who owns this piece of land?” A: “Efron”. Q: “How much?” A:….

Now imagine the same conversation between women. “I need to bury my husband.” ”I’m so sorry to hear that. How long have you been married? You must miss him dearly.”

A conversation between men is about the transaction at hand; between women about the relationship.

You are not expected to talk like a woman. But don’t talk like a stranger either. If it’s a question a stranger can ask, it’s not a question to your wife. Rather, at night ask “how is your day looking like tomorrow?” so that the following day, instead of a bland “What’s up?” you can ask “how was your dentist appointment?” for shalom bayit.

Develop Intimacy Talking

“How did the taxi cab driver make it to heaven?” A rabbi asked surprised. “He had many people who never prayed before praying with all their might while he drove.”

Do you want Shalom Bayit? Pray for it! We see that G d answers prayers in תודלות with Rebecca and Isaac praying.1 G d doesn’t answer any prayer, though. “G d is close to those who call out to Him sincerely.2” SINCERELY!

What do you listen to while driving? To the results of the primaries in Richards county West Virginia or to a shalom bayit podcast? When you’re thinking, do you day dream about work, or do you mentally prepare a juicy & sincere compliment to your wife? Do you talk about the Dodgers with your friend, or about the shalom bayit book you checked out from the library. When you come home, do you play with your xbox, or a card game with your wife.

You listen to shalom bayit, you think shalom bayit, you talk shalom bayit, you’ll have shalom bayit.

Pray for Shalom Bayit.

Parshat Chayei Sara Parshat Toldot

Lou’s Views

It May Be The End of The Line for Affirmative Action

Lou Shapiro

interest to ensure a “critical mass” of students from minority groups. In ruling for the university, Justice Sandra Day O’Con nor wrote for the majority and stated that the Constitution “does not prohibit the law school’s narrowly tailored use of race in ad missions decisions to further a compelling interest in obtaining the educational benefits that flow from a diverse student body.”

Justice O’Connor did however write that “race-con scious admissions policies must be limited in time,” and stated that the “Court expects that 25 years from now, the use of racial preferences will no longer be necessary to further the interest approved today.”

The drama continues. On October 31, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court revisited the controversial issue of affirmative action. Affirmative action involves sets of policies and prac tices within a government or organization seeking to include particular groups based on their gender, race, sexuality, creed or nationality in areas in which such groups are underrepresented. Supporters of affirmative action argue that it promotes equal ity and representation for socio-economically disadvantaged groups or those that have experienced discrimination or oppres sion. Opponents of it argue that it is a form of reverse discrim ination that results in excluding those who have earned their right to be in a particular group.

That brings us to the two affirmative action cases that the U.S. Supreme Court will be rendering a decision on in the next few months - Students for Fair Admissions Inc. v. Presi dent & Fellows of Harvard College and Students for Fair Ad missions, Inc. v. University of North Carolina. In the Harvard case, the plaintiffs allege that Harvard violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, which bars entities that receive federal fund ing from discriminating based on race, because Asian Amer ican applicants are less likely to be admitted than similarly qualified white, Black, or Hispanic applicants. The University of North Carolina, the group argues, violates the 14th Amend ment’s equal protection clause, which bars racial discrimination by government entities, by considering race in its admissions process when the university does not need to do so to achieve a diverse student body.

To give you an idea of how contentious this issue is, nearly 100 amicus briefs were filed. Thirty three briefs were in support of the plaintiffs and sixty were filed in favor of the universities. When oral arguments were heard by the Court, six of the conservative justices made statements that indicated that they are going to rule that universities are to no longer take race

the perspective of Asian American students who find college admission to be difficult and unfair in its current situation. Tony Fan, a candidate for the Alhambra Unified School District board, provided examples of the great lengths that some Asian Ameri cans take to improve their chances of receiving that coveted ac ceptance letter. He said that families are moving to locales with fewer Asians in the hopes that they can better compete and that some parents are renaming their children to mask their Asian identities. He also stated that some college counselors who cater to Asian clients often advise applicants to stay away from “ste reotypical” activities such as violin and math club and instead look for activities that showcase originality.

The Court is expected to release its written decision on these two cases in January 2023. The decision will have far more reaching consequences than the college university admis sions process. If the Court rules for the universities and extin guishes affirmative action, it will trigger strong condemnation from groups that support the rights of minorities. It will be ac cused of being not only misogynistic (Dobbs v. Jackson – where the Supreme Court overturned a woman’s constitutional right to abortion) but racist too. It seems like there is no end in sight to controversial decisions, issues, or elections that continue to divide the country. There was a time when both sides, for the most part, would be able to respectfully and collegially accept outcomes that they may not have desired because they answered to a higher calling of civility. The reaction to this anticipated ruling would be a great opportunity for the nation to show that it can still return to its strong unified front. I’m afraid though that we still have a ways to go.

Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal ana lyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas To rah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail.com.

The first time the U.S. Supreme Court addressed af firmative action was in 1978 in Regents of the University of California v. Bakke. Bakke involved a dispute of whether pref erential treatment for minorities could reduce educational op portunities for whites without violating the Constitution. The Court ruled that specific racial quotas, such as the 16 out of 100 seats that were set aside for minority students by the University of California, Davis School of Medicine, were impermissible. The Court did allow race to be one of several factors in college admission policy. Justice Powell wrote that under the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution, the gov ernment may not deny people equal protection of its governing laws. When the government treats members of races differently, it needs to show a compelling interest to justify it, which is a very high standard. Bakke became known as “America’s best known freshman”, and went on to practice medicine as an anes thesiologist at the Mayo Clinic.

It wasn’t until 2003 that the U.S. Supreme Court would once again address affirmative action. In Grutter v. Bollinger, the Court held that a student admissions process that favored “underrepresented minority groups” did not violate the Four teenth Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause so long as it took into account other factors evaluated on an individual basis for every applicant.

Barbara Grutter alleged that the University of Michigan Law School denied her admission because the school gave cer tain minority groups a significantly greater chance of admission. The school admitted that its admission process favored certain minority groups, but argued that there was a compelling state

into account in order to achieve diversity. They are basing it on the 25-year expiration date from Grutter (even though it’s only been 19 years) and the fact that they feel that there exist more race-neutral alternatives to creating a diverse class.

Interestingly, a recent Pew Research Poll found that more Americans said that high school grades and standardized test scores should matter in the admissions process than oth er factors. More than nine-in-ten Americans (93%) said high school grades should be at least a minor factor in admissions decisions, including 61% who say they should be a major fac tor. This was followed by standardized test scores (39% major factor, 46% minor factor) and community service involvement (19% major, 48% minor). By comparison, nearly three-quarters of Americans or more said gender, race or ethnicity, or whether a relative attended the school should not factor into admissions decisions.

In 1996, California voters passed Proposition 209, which barred affirmative action. UC President Michael V. Drake and all 10 chancellors submitted an amicus brief in support of Har vard and UNC’s affirmative action policies. Calling UC a “lab oratory for experimentation” on using race-neutral measures to promote diversity, the university leaders said that decades of outreach programs to low-income students and re-crafted ad missions policies have fallen short. They argue that their hands have been tied by Proposition 209 and it has resulted in a lack of diversity in the classroom.

On November 4, 2022, the Los Angeles Times ran an article titled, “Are Asian American college applicants at a disad vantage? Supreme Court Debate Stirs Fear.” The piece provides

“The decision will have far more reaching consequences than the college university admissions process.”

The Apex Climb Being Present in

Present

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb needs to want to change. Change isn’t easy, yet it is one of the most essen tial ingredients to a robust, happy life.

So how do we motivate the proverbial light bulb to want to change?

Hashem Melech, Hashem Mal ach, Hashem Yimloch L’Olam Va’ed - Hashem is King, Hashem was King, Hashem will reign as King for eternity. This refrain of praise, popularized by a hit song, should be quite familiar to us. We say it daily in our morning prayers and it is prominent during our Yomim Noraim tefillos. We would like to make two stunning observations. First, while the overwhelming amount of pesukei dezimra is comprised of pasukim from Tanach, this pasuk is nowhere to be found! There isn’t any singular pasuk that states these three tenses of Hashem’s existence. In fact, this important proclamation is an amalgamation of three individual verses spread amongst Tanach. Second, we notice a chronological anomaly. Rather than follow the appropriate order of tense - past, present and future - the statement opens with the present tense, Hashem is King, and only then proceeds with the past and future tenses.

We believe that this uniquely formatted pronouncement expresses our personal and present cognizance of Hashem’s greatness. This means, rather than abstractly speaking of Hashem and how great He is, we are focusing on the moment, the present if you will, of our personal relationship and connection to Him. Instead of making Hashem the subject of the phrase, we are the focal point. A mindful awareness of our present relationship with our Creator, subsequently enables us to reflect on how He impacted our life in the past, and how we envision our future ongoing relationship with Him.

Understanding this principle empowers us in our personal lives as well. Our life experiences have molded us to be who we are today, and who we are today will form the trajectory of who we will be tomorrow. Interestingly, while we may believe that we are living in the present, by being fully functional with our jobs, families etc, the reality is that we are often caught up in the other phases of our lives. Some are bogged down by a challenging past, while others may be fixated on their future. Either way, doing so distracts us from our present state of being. Ruminating about the negative effects of our past causes us to avoid dealing with our issues of the “present.” Similarly, obsessing over the future inhibits us from developing and improving our present state, which is actually the core foundation for a better future.

In the world of therapy, there are a plethora of therapeutic modalities, but their common denominator is to raise an awareness of one’s present life. To notice one’s strengths and weakness es, triggers, and coping mechanisms. I had a client who was generally a very easy-going natured person… until she wasn’t. I realized that the key issue which prevented her healing was her lack of awareness of her “present state” of anger that she would have. “I’m not upset,” she would say, “I just don’t like…” True, our sessions helped her notice the roots of unhealthiness from her past, yet only once she acknowledged her states of anger in the present was she motivated to change.

Another practical application of this idea is in regards to our parenting skills. When a parent educates their child with the mantra of “When I was a kid..” the parent may be giving the message that they are living in their own past instead of living together with the child in their present.

Similarly, if a child primarily hears phrases such as, “Wait till you grow up,” or “And what about your future?” they may be hearing an inability of a parent in dealing with the child’s current situation. However, parents who stay in the present while drawing on experiences of their past and utilize goal planning for the future imbibe their child with a healthy sense of self and motivation to grow.

To sum it up, while our past and future are our strongest allies of growth, true motivation for change is found in the person who lives in the present.

Rabbi Grama has been involved in the LA Jewish Community since 1996. He currently is a Rebbe at Valley Torah High School and is the rabbi of the Westside Shul. As well, he holds an MSW from YU’s Wurtzweiler School of Social Work. Rabbi Grama can be followed every Tuesday at 6:30 pm PT on #TorahTuesday, an Instagram Live, for a brief Torah thought on the parsha, and can be reached at danielgramamsw@gmail.com.

“...parents who stay in the present while drawing on experiences of their past and utilize goal planning for the future imbibe their child with a healthy sense of self and motivation to grow.”

Rabbi Daniel Grama

Yoel Halpern

When I started writing this column, I promised I would use the word Chulent in every article. Done.

Recently at a Thursday night Mishmar, many Daf Yomi Chevra made a siyum on Mesechta Kesu bos. Now let me explain - the mishmar suffered an attack in early 2022. The attack was orchestrat ed by Rabbi Bensoussan with the full backing of Reb Eli Stefansky, MDY mercenary group. The attack took place at Yitzy Katz’s home. They used some heavy artillery and it was a bloodbath.

You see, Rabbi Bensoussan got up and challenged people to join Rabbi Eli Stefansky’s Daf Yomi for Mesechta Megillah. Let me tell you, people started falling quickly. People were ka mikazeing onto the Gemara Megillas that were being given out to those who were signing up. I eventually kamikazeed my own Gemara, and boy am I happy I did.

I completed Mesechta Megillas strong. I was koching in Megilla. I think Chagiga or Moed Katan was next, which I think I did on the 8 minute Daf on two times the speed. If anybody knows of an Insta Daf please let me know. Yevamos was hard! And eventually around midway through the first page, I was done with Daf Yomi.

What happened here? What happened to the excitement that I felt from the outset? Why can’t I keep that up or at least turn it into commitment? I am great at starting things, but not great at finishing things. I have read the first chapter of almost every self-help book! I don’t think I’ve ever read through a full self-help book, but at one point I probably had about 20 of them in my library. When it comes to Torah - forget about it! I have started so many seforim and books that I never finished, and my shelves can prove it. I am done starting things; from now on I am only finishing things. If I finish everything I started I would be in real good shape.

one single page they had been studying. My grandfather explained to the student that this gemara represents the completion of the whole mesechta.

We live in a society that glorifies goal setting and completing. We have triathlons, marathons, Ironman, and we have something similar in Judaism. You can start any of the hundreds of Torah programs where you can get a really cute size sefer and finish a work of Torah in a year. It’s amazing and humbling to live in a time where Torah is packaged in such a palatable way for our 21st century life. The flip side is, and this is strictly my sentiment, sometimes I won’t even start because I say to myself, “There is no way I am going to keep this up for a year.” I feel like when I learn a sefer, I am signing up to a program. I get the same anxiety that I have when starting the P90x exercise program. My “completion disorder” starts to rise up and my internal self-doubt cheerleaders start their whole song and dance.

So now I have a new way. I’m going to “start” as much as my heart desires. Everybody has different needs and mechanisms that they use to propel themselves forward. For me, in a way, learning should be like a smorgasbord. I usually beeline to the carving station (tip, tell the carver you’re preparing a plate for the Rabbis’ table and they should load it high). When I’m done with the meat, I’ll head to a different section and do some damage. Whatever I desire foodwise is open for me to choose at a smorgasbord. With Torah too, a person should learn what their heart desires. Sometimes that is different things at different times. If we only focus on finishing we might lose out on starting.

Never stop starting.

Siyum - a ceremony where you mark the completion of a holy book Koching - to mamash swim in something, be totally enveloped Vort - a piece of sweet sweet Torah

Yoel Halpern is a businessman, publisher of The LA Jewish Home, and a true Chassid at heart. Originally from Far Rockaway, NY, Yoel has always yearned to bring some of his fondest childhood memories back to life in the Los Angeles community. With that in mind, Yoel, along with many friends, started the LA Mishmar, a movement of growth and vul nerability sweeping through LA. Yoel lives in LA with his wife and three children.

Now back to the siyum. For those who have kept going with the learning, I looked at them with real admiration, a lot of jealousy (which in the Torah is the only type of jealousy that’s allowed, it’s called kinas seforim), and a bit down on myself for not being one of the “Completers.” This sentiment carried over onto Shabbos, until one vort started to change things for me although I didn’t know at the time. We were fabrenging at The YICC Back Table and Rabbi Muskin said over a beautiful vort from Rav Soloveitchik about Noach. The idea is that Noach wasn’t able to bring people to Teshuva because he saw things in black and white. Good or bad, no color. Nobody had a chance with Noach because there was no common ground to start off on. After the flood, Hashem made a treaty with humanity in the form of a rainbow. God is showing us that there is a broad spectrum of life in this world. It’s not black and white.

On Sunday, I started connecting my feelings with the vort. I started asking myself, am I No aching myself? Am I failing to see my own rainbow? Yes I haven’t finished a lot of what I started, but the learning and growth I experienced along the way is impossible to describe. It shaped me to who I am today. I may have not finished Kitzur Shulchan Orech, but I am more in tune with and conscious of Halacha. I may have never finished Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Ef fective People, but at the time it had a profound influence on my life and its effects are felt today.

I think finishing and completing something is tremendous and we should all strive for it. But if it comes at the expense of starting, then we need to forget about finishing. My grandfather Reb Shlomo Freifeld once encountered a student who had tremendous drive but also tremendous roadblocks in his learning abilities. The boy was discouraged that all his peers were finishing full mesechtas and he couldn’t even understand one word. My grandfather began learning with him one word at a time. They spent weeks and weeks on each line. At the end of the year, they finished one blatt (two sides of a page) of Gemara. At the end of year siyum in the Yeshiva, my grandfa ther presented his student with a Gemara bound special for him. Inside the Gemara was just this

“Yes, I haven’t finished a lot of what I started but the learning and growth I experienced along the way is impossible to describe. It shaped me to who I am today.”

Tzvi Ratner-Stauber & Steven Kupferman

Hecht told us they are expanding next door and it will have proper seating in due time.

The sandwiches were cut in half. We simulta neously took first bites and realized Schwartz was on their game. The bread was soft and perfectly baked. The meats were smoked and pickled to perfection in house. The pastrami was possibly the best we ever had; warm,fatty, and thinly sliced.

When we heard the news that LA was finally opening up a glatt kosher delicatessen, we could look no further for our inaugural piece in The LA Jewish Home.

For years, the LA glatt kosher deli landscape was dominated by Pico Kosher Deli (a”h). Since it’s closing in 2020, a made-to-order glatt kosher deli sandwich has been elusive. Many have tried and many have failed.

Enter Schwartz BBQ and Deli operated by Moshe Hecht of Schwartz Bakery. Initial concerns of a deli started by a bakery owner and danish lover were quickly alleviated. The location is poetically right next to the OG PKD.

In an almost surreal scene, we walked up to the restaurant and found the few sole bar seats inside occupied by twin Larry David look-alikes providing early credibility to the new eatery.

Before we approached the deli counter, a newage self-service point-of-care touch screen greeted us to take our order. We went with some classics: Pastra mi sandwich on challah (we know, it’s a shanda not to go with rye), a brisket sandwich, cobb salad, matzah ball soup and of course, Dr. Brown’s black cherry soda. They offer sides with all sandwiches- baked beans, mashed potatoes or veggies.

The staff brought the food out quite quickly to our outdoor seats on the boulevard beneath the beau tiful crisp LA Sunday evening sky. The vibe is a work in progress. A couple of basic seats and tables on the ultra luxurious Pico Blvd. Passersby are either going to walk in and place an order or steal your sandwich. The sounds of Omar Adam blasting from Lenny’s Ca sita across the way is a nice touch. But fear not, Moshe

Once we realized how good the food prep was, we ordered a few specialty sandwiches: the Chicken Zinger, the Southwestern Pastrami Zinger, and our overall favorite, the Fishman, named for Danny Fish man for his years of loyalty. The Fishman is marketed as a “Succulent Smoked Beef in a Special Homemade Sauce with Sauteed Mushrooms & Onions” and it was every bit of that and more.

As the food coma set in, we turned to the gen tleman sitting alone at the only other outdoor table and asked him what his thoughts were. He noted that this was the first Reuben sandwich he ever had without cheese and he was notably impressed and planned to return.

Schwartz BBQ and Deli is a welcomed addition to the Pico restaurant scene. Overall, we found a gem that we intend to return to and try the many other items on their menu. For now, we consider it a breath of fresh air for the return of a glatt kosher deli, but most importantly, the much needed perfect deli sandwich to sneak into your next ball game.

“Happenings in the Hood with TMtZvi and the Doc” is a new review column of local Jewish and kosher establish ments. Tzvi Ratner-Stauber is a mortgage broker in LA and Steven Kupferman is an Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon in Century City”

Pearls from the Past Zalman Brim

As an amateur Seforim and Judaica collector, finding a piece of history is a daydream I’ve al ways had. Well hold on to your dreams, is what they say. This is the story of how I found a treasure hiding in plain sight or should I say site, eBay that is.

I was scrutinizing my new purchase, an an tique Machzor for fast days with English translation. Printed in London in 1793, it was one of the first of its kind. The printing was nice and clear. The list of sub scribers who pledged to buy a copy before the printing was interesting to read. Listed under New York was Gershom Seixas, the first religious leader in Ameri ca. There were an unexpected number of subscribers from the New World, mainly Barbados, Jamaica, and Canada.

said to myself. What I learned was that an early Amer ican Jewish pioneer, Rebecca Machado Phillips, was born in Reading, Pennsylvania in 1746 and resided in Philadelphia. Aha! That explains the Library of Phila delphia stamp on the front page. This was the personal Machzor of a recorded historical figure.

This is a brief outline of her life. Her parents were Marranos who returned to openly practicing Judaism after escaping Portugal. Her father, a chaz zan in New York, passed away when she was one. At the age of 16, she married Jonas Phillips, a German Jewish merchant. They relocated to Philadelphia from New York due to the Revolutionary War. In 1780, Jo nas Phillips was recorded as the second richest Jew in Philadelphia. Besides giving birth to 21 children, Rebecca Phillips also raised two of her grandchildren. One of those grandchildren, Mordecai Manuel Noah, became the American Ambassador to Turkey and sub sequently Sheriff of New York, the first Jew that to hold both of those offices. Rebecca Phillips was on the board of many charitable societies in Philadelphia, where she died at the age of 85. She is buried in the Mikveh Israel Cemetery.

Wow, I couldn’t believe it. I brought the Machzor to an Antique Judaica specialist who con firmed the identity and appraised my find at $700$900.

The name of the precious owner, Mrs. Rebecca M. Phillips, exquisitely written across the front page was really neat as well. That’s worth a Google check, I

Zalman Brim Judaica is a collector of antique Judaica. If you would like to feature an heirloom or piece in your own collection or if you are looking for a specific piece of Judai ca, please reach out to ZalminBrim@gmail.com.

“Printed in London in 1793, it was one of the first of its kind.”

“We simultaneously took first bites and realized Schwartz was on their game.”

Parsha

Kau man

In Parshas Toldos, Eisav came home in a mourning state after Avraham’s funeral. He had gone out to do a lot of bad things, including murder and hunting. Our Rabbis explain that these acts were rebellious to the death of his Tzadik grandfather. The Torah describes that Eisav came home hungry and exhausted from all these activities. Yaakov understood this, so he made Eisav a bowl of lentil soup. Yaakov offered him the bowl of lentil soup in exchange for Eisav’s birthright.

Eisav said “I’m going to die anyway, so why do I need a birth right?” Eisav agreed to trade his birthright for the lentil soup he was so hungry for. After he was no longer starving, Eisav real ized he had been tricked, and how powerful a birthright really is. He realized what kind of deal he made with Yaakov. Eisav had to make a choice - birthrights or lentil soup. He let his physical needs take over him, and Eisav chose lentil soup. He didn’t care about the birthright at that time.

But then Eisav realizes that the birthright will benefit Yaakov, and now he begins to see the value of it. It is not that Eisav wanted the birthright, but it is that Eisav did not want Yaakov to have it or benefit from it. Eisav got really frustrated and wanted to kill Yaakov because he wanted his birthright back.

Eisav declares that “the day of my father’s mourning shall come soon, and I will kill my brother.” Not only was Eisav upset with losing the birthright, but he was even more mad at being tricked out of it.

From this we learn that before you make a deal, you need to think about it in detail. Some items are more valuable than oth ers, and you need to consider this before making a deal. Also, don’t make big decisions when you’re hungry!

ייח הרש

Figure out the answers according to the corresponding letter of the Aleph Bet.

Servant of Avraham? א 1

Father of Rivka? ( : ) ב 2

There were 10 of these? ( : ) ג 3

Number of couples buried in the Me’arat Hamachpeilah? ד 4

A question letter? ( : ) ה 5

Letter meaning and”? ו 6

A type of metal? ( : ) ז 7

Name of place in Israel today? ( :ב) ח 8

We are not able to speak _ _ _ or bad? ( :נ) ט 9

Davened in the field? : )) י 10

An item Rivka was holding on her shoulder? ( : ) כ 11

Greedy brother? : )) ל 12

Special food? ( : ) מ 13

Eliezer was _ _ _ by the well? ( : ) נ 14

Eliezer did this when he saw his master Yitschak? ( : ) ס 15

Name of person who sold Me’arat Hamachpeilah? ( :ח) ע 16

Name for concubine (Second wife)? ( :ו) פ 17

An item of Jewellery? ( : ) צ 18

Name of place were Sarah died? ( :ב) ק 19

Name of Yitzchaks wife? ר 20

The type of money Avraham used? ( : ) ש 21

Animal food? ( : ) ת 22

Parshas Chayei Sara

Access Code: 626 7833 Reference Number: 6

תודלות

Figure out the answers according to the corresponding letter of the Aleph Bet.

The age of Yitzchak when he married Rivka? ( :כ) א 1 Eisav sold something for a bowl of lentil soup? ( : ) ב 2 How old was Rivka when she married Yitzchak? ג 3

The amount of people in the household of Yitschak and Rivka? ד 4 Yitschak said famously?

( : ) ה 5

The Bracha given to Yaccov (said on Motsai Shabbat)? ( : ) ו 6

Yitschak was blind because he was a _ _ _? ( :א) ז 7 Yaccov had skin that was _ _ _? ( : ) ח 8 Eisav hunted for his father 2 goats that were _ _ _ _? ( :ט) ט 9 Which of the twins did Rivka love?

( : ) י 10

Which Mitzvah did Eisav perform and famous for? כ 11

An everyday food item?

( : ) ל 12 Avimelech was a? ( :ח) מ 13 Yitschak was polite?

( :ב) נ 14

Gematria of how old Yitschak was when the twins were born? ( : ) ס 15 How was Eisav feeling on that day? ( :ל) ע 16 Where did Rivka come from?

Esav’s work?

( :כ) פ 17

( : ) צ 18

Yaccov was worried that his father might give this? ( : ) ק 19 Yitschak needed to go down to the land of Gerar because of this? ( :א) ר 20

Rivka went to the Bet Hamidrash of who? ( : רש '' ) ש 21 Yaccov and Esav were _ _ _ _ _ ? ( : ) ת 22

Parshas Toldos

Access Code: 626 7833 Reference Number: 7

Rebecca

Shayna Kleinman

My Day as a Burglar

Tani Heyman

I couldn’t fall back asleep. It’s 2:00 in the morning. The scientist is sleeping. I try to find a way to get out. I see a huge wall. I tried breaking it with tools and stuff, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m sweating again. I take the towel and I wipe my forehead. This time it was a different towel and my forehead became a big green blob. I could stick my finger right through my forehead.

I took the towel and wiped it on the wall and I was able to walk through the wall. I walked through the wall and on the other side, there was all blackness. There was only one tiny light that I saw at the end of the room. I go to it and pick it up. It was a crystal! I put it in my pocket.

I go back out and look at my watch at 5:50. Robert asked me what I was doing in there and I said I was just checking stuff out. He said, “Did you find anything?” I said “No, just blackness and a few spiders and spider webs.” “Are you sure?” he said. “I’m sure.” Then he said, “fine, let’s go to training.”

When we get to the training, I see people throwing things in people’s faces. I say “wait stop” but they don’t listen. I guess they’re also training to become the world’s best robber. They don’t look like they’re progressing that much but I will. I will become the best robber of all time. No one will be a better robber than me.

I’m still a little scared from what happened but I feel normal now even without my parents and my family. I go to the place and the person gives me a ball. He says “you see the guy over there just throw the ball at the guy.” It’s not a real guy, just a dummy so I take it and I throw it into the dummy’s right eye and it starts bleeding but it’s fake blood. I think it’s real blood. It was really scary and disgusting. So I take another ball and I throw it, it hits the other eye. I have a really good aim, I just realized. I throw another ball. It misses and hits the guy who is training me in the face. Blood started pouring down, down to his toes. Gushing blood disgustingly, I go over to him. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to do that. What should I do? What should I do?” I go get a towel and I wipe his face. It doesn’t help, it just keeps gush ing and gushing and gushing. I asked the other person that was there what I should do. “I just hit the training guy in the face.” He says “oh you don’t need to do any thing” “But he’s dying” I worry. “No, it’s okay, I did it over 3,000 times,” he says. “So what’s going to happen?” I ask. “He’ll recover.” “Are you sure he will recover?”

“I’m not so sure but most probably.”

Mushky Yiftach

Living an Animated and Awesome Life

Mark

Kauffman

Saul Blinkoff is entertaining even when he’s not officially entertaining. A Hollywood filmmaker, inspirational speaker, husband and father of four, he masterfully uses various voices and songs during his casual conversations and brings an undeniable energy and passion to ev erything he does. Blinkoff’s latest project is “Life of Awesome!” a podcast on which he aspires to inspire with new guests and lessons each week, incorporating everything from the Torah to movie clips and music to give over his meaningful messages. For his episode on “The Envy of Others,” for example, he skillfully utilizes both the biblical Cain and Abel and the animated Buzz and Woody to illustrate and deliver his lesson.

An Artist At HeArt

Blinkoff grew up on the East Coast, where he attended Lawrence Number Six School and George W. Hewlett High School, with summers in Camp Ramah in the Poconos. His father, a retired allergist and his mother, Cantor Lynn Karpo, a retired chazanit, raised their family in a “Conservadox” Jewish home, instilling the initial love of Judaism in their children. “Jewish values ran very very strong in my home,” Saul shares. “My parents’ love of Yiddishkeit was very inspiring to me. My mother lit Shabbat candles on Friday night, and my father said kid dush. Our parents’ love of Israel is very strong. They went to Israel every year for 40 years.”

As a child, Blinkoff was constantly drawing. When he saw the 1982 movie E.T., every thing changed for him as he decided he wanted to become a filmmaker. He didn’t know anyone in the business, or in any creative field – only lawyers and doctors and businessmen. Blinkoff went to the local library and took out books on director Steven Spielberg. “I thought, ‘Wow, the director of E.T. is a Jewish guy, and if he could do it, I can do it.’ That really inspired me. I found out that Spielberg would make movies with his friends in the neighborhood, so I got a film camera, and on weekends my older brother Jason and my twin sister Reena and I would make movies with kids in the neighborhood. I was the writer and director – I never starred in them; I was always behind the camera. Kids from the neighborhood still remember those times.”

Young Blinkoff insisted on being an artist, so his parents hired an art teacher for him. While he used to draw cartoon characters, she taught him to draw from life. “I was terrible at drawing hands,” he recalls. His art instructor instructed him to draw a hand from a different position every night before bed. Saul recalls, “She taught me a valuable lesson: to embrace our discomfort in order to grow. Otherwise, find out what your weaknesses are and turn them into your strengths. Now it’s my mantra,” says Blinkoff. He even produced a podcast on it: “Turning Weaknesses into Strengths.”

DreAming of Disney

One could wonder if he brought this discipline and determination to other things. When asked how he fared as a student, Blinkoff laughs, “Academics were difficult. I loved English the most because it was stories and I make my living as a storyteller – so I was always enamored

with stories.” Saul adds, “I saw another movie that changed my life. I saw The Little Mermaid.” The animation of Ariel’s character was the best he’d ever seen, and it inspired him.

“I knew I wanted to be a Disney animator; I wasn’t just going to be an artist, I wasn’t going to be a filmmaker – I wanted to be a filmmaker and artist. That’s what animation was – it combined my two passions: my love of drawing and my love of filmmaking – and put them together. Plus, I found out that Disney had a studio in Florida, and I didn’t have to go to LA. “So there I am, a junior in high school, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. My dream was to become a Disney animator.”

But it wasn’t so simple to follow his dream. “The problem was that I didn’t know how to do that,” Saul admits, “but I did have the most supportive parents. My mom took me on a trip to Disney World just to ask them how her son could become a Disney animator.” Mom and son spent four days in Orlando walking around Disney World, approaching all the employees, “cast members,” asking how to become a Disney animator. One staff member handed Saul a list of eight art colleges that Disney recruits animators from. “There it was. That was the recipe,”

recalls Blinkoff. “Quite often, I meet people and, for the ones that are lucky enough to know what they want to do with their lives, I ask them how they are going to achieve it. Often, I get this look of ‘I don’t know.’ If you don’t know how to accomplish something, it won’t happen,” Saul asserts. “I didn’t have the recipe of how to become a Disney animator until I had that piece of paper.”

Blinkoff’s devoted mom took him to visit each of these art schools. They visited Colum bus College of Art and Design in Ohio. “I remember the guy touring me around and showing the artwork on the walls, and it was a hundred times better than anything I could ever do. I remember feeling intimidated, but I also felt like, if I’d be the worst one at this school but if I’m surrounded by great artists, I’ll probably get better. So I chose that school, and thank G-d they chose me.” He studied color, design, anatomy, painting, illustration, sculpture, and more.

During the first week, a lead Disney animator came to speak to 750 students. He in

Interviewed and Written by: Tammy

Adapted for this issue by Ariela

“You either believe in yourself that you can accomplish something or you don’t – there’s no maybe.”

formed the aspiring artists that maybe four of them will ever actually work at Disney. “When he said that, I thought to myself, ‘I wonder who the other 3 are going to be?’” Saul recalls. “You either believe in yourself that you can accomplish something or you don’t – there’s no maybe. If you believe that you can accomplish something, then you can take the steps to achieve it.” Blinkoff clearly believed.

When Saul sent in his portfolio for a summer Disney internship, he did not get accepted. The next day, Saul called Disney to ask how close he was to getting chosen and found out he missed the internship by three spots – out of a group of 3,800 applicants. He then asked why he got rejected and was told he needed to work on drawing with perspective. He was also told that he was the first to ask that question. This taught Blinkoff a great practical and profound lesson. “Only when we ask why, do we get the answer key to growing,” he asserts. “We can be so close to achieving our dream, but we feel like we’re miles away, and all we have to do is push a little bit more.”

Blinkoff continued drawing nonstop; he was accepted to the internship the following year. The first film he worked on was Pocahontas, where he animated the leaves of the forest. He was offered a five-year contract and hired to continue work on animating Pocahontas. At the same time, he got invited with another animator to travel the country and promote the film, doing live presentations in shopping malls. It was in a South Florida mall where he was rein troduced to a girl from Hewlett High School, Marion Goldenberg, who would later become his wife and true partner in life. Blinkoff was living the dream – complete with his dream job, sports car and a great apartment in Florida.

crosses through the threshold of his home, the mezuzah reminds him to check on family to see what they need, to leave his burden at the door and become a different person. Blinkoff learned how “Torah” means “instruction” and that the Torah is Torat Chaim, directions for life. “I want ed a life of living my purpose,” he says. “I wanted a life of meaning, and I discovered that as a Jew I’d been given the greatest gift to humanity – the instruction manual for living.” A quote from Rabbi Noach Weinberg, zt”l, of Aish Hatorah, “If we don’t know what we’re willing to die for we’re not living for anything,” really drove the point home for Saul. “I remember feeling for the first time in my life I didn’t want to just be Jewish; I wanted to live Jewish.”

Blinkoff returned to Disney to work on Tarzan, but then a new work opportunity took him to NYC’s Upper West Side. At this point, Blinkoff was studying the weekly parsha and had stopped going to movies on Friday nights – a huge sacrifice for a movie buff – but was not yet Orthodox. When he learned that a shomer Shabbos guy was looking for a roommate, Blinkoff made the commitment and fell in love with Shabbos. Marion was an associate producer at Disney at the time and moved to New York as well. She, too, was on a spiritual journey, having visited Israel and also learning from Blinkoff’s rabbis when they ran a Jewish retreat in Florida. The two started growing together and got married in 2002. The newlyweds settled down in Beverly Hills, and Saul returned to Disney as a director.

His first movie was Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Roo and, since Blinkoff learned that Disney artists like to hide things in their art, he drew a mezuzah on Pooh’s house – “Now he’s Winnie the Jew.” He also wrote Hashem in Hebrew hidden in the grass in the first minutes of the movie. “I didn’t just see myself as a filmmaker; I saw myself as a Jewish filmmaker,” he clarifies. The Blinkoffs became fully shomer Shabbos in LA and moved into the Aish com munity in Pico-Robertson. They began hosting guests and estimate that over the past 20 years, they’ve hosted thousands and thousands of people for Shabbos. “Almost every Shabbos before Covid, we were hosting 5-15 stu dents from around the world, from all of the travels and speaking en gagements,” Saul says.

At one point, Blinkoff met Rabbi Shalom Denbo, a student of the late Rabbi Weinberg, who taught from the book of the Ram chal, Mesilas Yesharim, Path of the Just. One key phrase changed Blinkoff’s outlook forever: What am I responsible for in this world?

Rabbi Denbo’s teachings empow ered me to clarify what I am living for and to make it real. “Whatever we are interested in, we have to fig ure out a way to take our passion, ambition, gifts, talents, abilities and use them and grow them in a way that will hopefully help us serve humanity, and use them to change the world,” Saul shares. “If we saw the world as ours, we’d take more responsibility for it.”

On a break from work, he visited Israel with his parents on vacation. Blinkoff stopped off in Bonkers Bagels in Jerusalem and began chatting about sports with a young man from New York who said he was learning in yeshiva. “I just want to find out how I fit into the Jewish people,” the young man said. The young man explained that he wanted to learn on his own what Judaism means, not simply by how he was raised. Blinkoff never met the guy again but this brief, chance encounter would later prove to have had as big an influence on him as the blockbuster movies did.

Back at Disney, Blinkoff spent the next three years working on the film Mulan. There was a long break before work was to begin on Tarzan. Blinkoff recalls floating in the lazy river, piña colada in hand, with a feeling of completeness between his dream job, his incredible girl friend Marion, and knowing he was in “the happiest place on earth.” Suddenly, a new feeling came over him. “I remembered the kid I met at the bagel shop three and half years earlier,” Saul recalls. “‘I’m going to Israel to find out how I fit into the Jewish people,” Saul decided. “Deep down, I believe every one of us has a gnawing question mark inside us – everyone -- and that question is ‘Who am I?’... We want to be able to answer the questions ‘What is my life about? What am I living for?’ “While I worked so hard to get into Disney – which was wonderful – I knew it wasn’t everything.”

Blinkoff joined a 10-day trip with the Isralight program, with Rabbi Binny Freedman and Rabbi David Aaron, who currently runs Yeshiva Orayta in Israel. Rabbi Freedman walked in, spoke to the group for 15 minutes, and his words impacted Blinkoff immediately. Rabbi Freedman spoke about the mitzvah of mezuzah, with the Shema inside, and it is put on door posts as an obligation. He relates, “After I delved into the Torah we were learning, I realized right then and there that the Torah was written by G-d because of the profound wisdom and in tricacies of what I was learning – no human could write that. It was incredible. The light switch went off that the Torah is min hashamayim, from heaven.” Rabbi Aaron told them that the Torah is like a love letter from G-d to humanity. Rabbi Freedman explained that the mezuzah isn’t a thing, it’s an opportunity; before we go out into the world we pass through a doorway, a place of transition. “Every mezuzah in the world is only in a transitional place. It’s there to remind us before we go out into the world to ask, ‘What am I living for?’ It’s an opportunity to clarify the goal and purpose of your life and your day. Is my purpose a little bit deeper – to give, to inspire, to nurture, to learn, to grow? Hopefully when we come back into our homes at the end of the day, we’re a different person.”

Like at any other job, Blinkoff admits that there are frustrating days at work. Now, as he

Blinkoff credits his family for so much of his success. “As parents, one of the hardest things we need to do is to really become sensitive to the needs of what our children specifically need, and my parents were very invested in me and my siblings’ lives so much so that they did whatever they could to help get us... Of course, my wife married a dreamer. It’s not easy to marry a dreamer,” Saul admits. “You bring everyone else along for the ride, and it’s not so simple. She’s been the foundation and my partner in everything in life, and I’m very grateful.”

Family is a top priority for the Blinkoffs, and his children have gotten to get a glimpse of their dad’s life. At age six, his son Asher was cast as the voice of the main character Dennis in Hotel Transylvania 2. “It was so cool – he was such a kiddush Hashem,” Saul says with pride. “When you went to the Sony studios and you saw the wall of all the actors doing the voices (Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Sandberg) - and our son Asher Blinkoff with his big felt kippah with Hebrew letters saying Asher Chaim on the front!” Daughters Meira, Lielle and Naomi have all had their turns in voice roles. While they don’t have plans to pursue careers in show business, they enjoy local Jewish theater groups as a hobby. Sharing lessons with his children is part of Saul’s process. “Every week, when I finish a podcast episode, the kids listen to it together. Creating it has been a family affair.”

“Judaism is not a religion; it’s reality. It’s not something I do; it’s something that affects how I see everything.”

“torAH is A Lens”

Blinkoff is very enthusiastic about his “Life of Awesome” podcast. “I explore wisdom rooted in Torah and share meaningful messages and interviews to hopefully inspire a much bigger audience to reach for a higher more meaningful life,” he explains. The podcast is available on Apple and other platforms, as well as on his website. This endeavor came to Blinkoff after traveling the world lecturing to thousands of people in all corners of the world – every demographic, age, and affiliation – and he offers the same message. He explains,“I want to inspire others to embrace their Jewish identity and to not just say, ‘I want to be Jewish’ but to embrace the opportunity to live Jewish, because only when we do that, do we have the instructions on how to live a life that’s meaningful.”

The turning point for Blinkoff that moved him from achieving his own goals to sharing his experiences and insights with others came about 15 years ago. Rabbi David Luria invited Blinkoff to speak at a university and Blinkoff shared his story with eager college students. Four years later, Blinkoff found himself giving a similar talk to 2,000 people in South Africa. He now lectures for Chabad houses, outreach organizations, shuls, schools and camps worldwide. Five years ago, Blinkoff became a trip leader for a program called Momentum, leading non-observant Jewish dads on a week long heritage trip to Israel and discussing tools based on Jewish wisdom on how to grow as a father and husband to live a life that’s more meaningful. The program has taken over 10,000 women to Israel inspiring parents to change their family, their community, and their world.

Blinkoff’s energy is palpable, and the source comes from a wisdom seemingly beyond his years. “There are a bunch of things that motivate me,” he says. “One of them is the idea of death. When we realize that life is a blink of an eye, we have to utilize every moment. I don’t want to waste time. There is so much to get done. Reb Noach Weinberg used to stay up learning and working on his orga nization, and he’d get a couple of hours of sleep a night, not consecutively, because there’s so much to do. I feel like when we get the clarity of how much there is to accomplish that should energize us and motivate us to keep going. “Number two,” he says, “is that it’s energizing to have the realization of being alive... Picture somebody who doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning, who stays in bed and hits the snooze button over and over again because they don’t have the thrill or the wonderment of being alive…” “Judaism is not a religion; it’s reality. It’s not something I do; it’s something that affects how I see everything.”

Torah is a lens – if you look at the world through the lens of Torah, it’s a very different world. Often asked how he balances being an Observant Jew in Hollywood, he answers simply, “How can I not? It’s my Judaism that helps me embrace my identity and inform every decision I make every moment of my life. “I live in the town where people want that gold statue – and all I want is to get to Shabbos!”

“Deep down, I believe every one of us has a gnawing question mark inside us – everyoneand that question is ‘Who am I?’...”

Biale Rebbe of Bnei Brak arrives in Los Angeles

ONE OF ISRAEL’S GREATEST RABBIS, RENOWNED FOR HUNDREDS OF PHENOMENAL MIRACLES

Your chasan is waiting for you, go buy a watch and a tallit.

The time in Israel is 5.00 a.m. when Rav Friedman, the Rebbe’s gab bai’s phone rings. Harav Friedman recognizes the American number and an swers immediately. “Mazal Tov, mazal tov” he hears the voice from across the Atlantic. The excited parents of the 27 year old girl who just became engaged have called to share their news immediately with the Biale Rebbe. This is the story they relate:

We have known the Biale Rebbe for many years. Our entire family is extremely close to the Rebbe and at every family occasion, the amazing mira cles as a result of the Rebbe’s blessings are retold. Last year when the Rebbe visited New York, I decided that the time had come for me to ask the Rebbe for a blessing for my daughter. My daughter is a talented, successful girl who has been in Shidduchim for several years. But as day follows day, and week passes week, she has yet to find her destined. As the years passed on, we decided to seek the Rebbe’s blessing. I arrived with my wife and daughter to the Rebbe. The Rebbe reads our names and says: “your chassan is waiting for you. You are to go immediately and buy a gold watch and a tallit for your chassan and soon you will call me with good tidings.

Of course, we immediately purchased the gold watch and the tallit and here we are, a mere four months later happy and delighted.

A community whose youth are dwindling

This happened two years ago. At that time the pandemic was raging and caused several changes to the Rebbe’s traveling agenda. The Rebbe was trav eling to the North of New York and was invited to spend a Shabbat in a newly developed community which he had never visited before. It was a very special Shabbat with the whole community attending. The Shabbat meals were held outdoors in the skylight and the songs were sung behind masked faces. The community members who were honored to have the Rebbe in their midst filed in one after the other to receive his holy blessing. And …. Within a short pe riod – Mazal tov! The son of the gabbai of the Shul gets engaged. Two weeks later the son of the president of the community gets engaged! Mazal tov! The gabbai’s daughter also announces her engagement and so does the son of the Rebbe’s hosts! Less than twelve months after the Rebbe’s visit with the community, close to ten members of the small community have found their destined match! The following year the Rebbe was officially invited to visit the community, this time the Tisch was held in the synagogue’s hall. People came from far and near to receive the Rebbe’s blessing, including the delight ed brides and grooms, as well as those who are still waiting. All wanted a blessing from the Rebbe whose blessings are fulfilled.

The Los Angeles residents are getting excited! The Rebbe is coming again. Hardly a year has passed since the Biale Rebbe of Bnei Brak has vis ited Los Angeles, yet hundreds are excitedly anticipating the return of their revered Rebbe. Although the Rebbe has been visiting not one year or two, but annually for some years now, every year the sensation repeats itself. Every year when the Rebbe arrives at the house where he lodges, the place becomes a public source of attraction as hundreds of people of various standards and types gather. The street becomes a hive of activity as lawyers, doctors, lay leaders, rabbis, educators, ranging from Hassidic to modern Orthodox mingle as they flock to the Rebbe’s house. From early morning until the small hours of the night, the streets resound with miraculous tales of unnatural miracles seen and experienced firsthand as a result of the Rebbe’s blessing.

Everyone wants to understand, what is it that draws so many people to see the Biale Rebbe again and again? What is it that causes thousands of people from different backgrounds to seek the Rebbe? What is it that brings people with no semblance to Chassidim to cleave to the Rebbe with all their might, involving him in every move they take in life? At every occasion, be it happy or sad, their first phone call is to include the Rebbe! What is it that unites young boys and elderly? What brings the famous ambassador of the United State, Mr. David Friedman, to visit the Rebbe? Many other prominent Rabbis and highly significant political figures from the American and Israeli governments can be recognized amongst the Rebbe’s visitors anywhere be tween California, Florida, New York, and New Jersey.

The court case was annulled

Antisemitism is as ancient as the world itself. For thousands of years, it has reared its ugly head. Our acquaintance, an honorable Jew who manages an honorable business came face to face with it. One day without prior notice, the police barged into his house and searched his home. He was handcuffed and taken in for a tough interrogation where he was accused of illegal deal ings. The Jew denied everything, but the police insisted they had proof of the illegal deeds.

He alerted his lawyers and the bitter truth was revealed. A former em ployee who was involved in crime and was serving time, decided to save his skin and have his term shortened by informing on his former employer. He was the witness in court. After investigating the case, the lawyers informed our friend that the situation looked grim as there was a strong case, including a witness, against him. He was told to prepare for the worst. The Jew was released on bail, one which consisted of a huge amount of money. He turned over every stone and pleaded with the heavens with prayer to be saved from his plight.

One day his neighbor tells him that the Biale Rebbe is visiting their town. This Jew was not even allowed to leave his home, but he decided to send his wife with a note with all the details and beg the Rebbe for a bracha. The Rebbe shlita was deeply touched by the troubles and the wailing of his wife and children. He informed his entourage of his desire to visit the man in

his home and bestow his blessing upon him.

It was late in the evening when the Rebbe arrived at their home. The Rebbe listened carefully to the whole story and heard how the children of the accused were being prepared for the possibility of having their father leave them for a long time…. One cannot describe the heartrending sobbing that was heard at the meeting. A young woman, with several young children all crying together, and begging for a miracle.

The Rebbe lifted his eyes and asked them: “Do you believe that Hkb”H is capable of everything? Do you really believe that everything can change for the good?” The Rebbe asked about several issues conducted within the home, and gave them guidance on how to strengthen their ruchniyas. He also advised them to accept several new kabbalot upon themselves and then announced: “I have faith that this decree will be annulled. In the merit of the kabbalot you just took upon yourself, Hashem will perform unnatural miracles.” All those present felt like in a dream. It just seemed so unrealistic. Everyone was totally prepared for the worst to happen. Suddenly the lawyer receives a call from the complainant. He sounded embarrassed and was stammering incoherently. It seems that the antisemitic so-called witness was involved in a heavy fight with other inmates and was beaten to death by his fellow prisoners…. The sole witness was dead and the case was called off! Our friend received a note from the attorney’s office notifying him that the case was closed due to lack of evidence!

The entire family of the accused, as well as all of those who were pres ent at the time of the Rebbe’s visit to his house, were delirious with joy and surprise as they came to thank the Rebbe for his prayers and miracles. All but the Rebbe. He merely said: “Didn’t I tell you that Hashem can perform a miracle?”

Moving to Teaneck? You’ll have a tinok!

This sounds like a play-on-words. The word Teaneck in English is sim ilar to the word tinok in Hebrew, which means “baby.” However, in our case it was not merely a play. It actually happened. We married and began our life together. We lived in a big city progressing in our life goals, except for the fact that our prayers for children went unanswered. As time passed, we be gan medical treatment. Unfortunately, we could see no light at the end of the tunnel. One day, after a very disappointing consultation with a specialist, who gave us no reason for hope, I went down to pray at a synagogue that was in the area of this Medical Center. It was there that I saw the leaflet informing of the Biale Rebbe’s impending visit. I made an appointment and asked the Rebbe for a blessing. The Rebbe encouraged me not to give in to despair. A year passed. The Rebbe is in our area once again. We go in to him for a bless ing and we tell him that we just bought an apartment in Teaneck, New Jersey. The Rebbe says: “mazal tov! Teaneck! Tinok! – you will soon have a tinok - a baby.” The doctors were just as surprised as we were when within a year of moving to Teaneck our baby was born.

THE REBBE SHLIT”A

Twenty-two years ago, The Rebbe was barely in his early thirties when the yoke of leadership of Biale Chassidus Bnei Brak was thrust upon him. His greatness and guidance reached far beyond the borders of Bnei Brak as the Rebbe chose to draw his brethren from all over the world close to him by encouraging and helping them. The Rebbe is leader and mentor of a most respectable chassidus, which is centrally based in Bnei Brak and has branch es in Jerusalem, Beitar Eilit, Ashdod, Bet Shemesh, and Modiin Eilit. This has added a new & old hue to the leadership of Biale chassidus. Every day hundreds of people from varying backgrounds, Sephardim and Ashkenazim alike. Ultra-orthodox and those who have just donned a kippa, from Cholon to Bat Yam, Beer Sheba to Eilat, all stream to one address. The Rebbe opened his door and his heart to the whole of klal yisrael. Welcoming them with his compassionate heart and warm smile. People enter his room carrying a heavy load of troubles and worries however when they leave they are lighthearted and hopeful.

Biale Chassidus’ holy lineage stems from a holy sage named Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchok from Peshischa. This revered tzaddik lived some two hun dred years ago and was known to all as the “holy Jew” – ‘The Yid Hakadosh’ from Peshischa. He was a disciple of the holy “Chozeh of Lublin” who was a direct fourth generation descendent of the holy Baal Shem Tov. The Yid Ha kodosh was the greatest of Polish Rabbis, Rabbi to the leaders of Gur, Kotzk, Alexander, and other great luminaries. Generations of tzaddikim in succes

sion continued the tradition of the “Yid Hakadosh.” This chain was continued from father to son until the flame was kindled in our generation by the holy tzaddik and Rebbe – Reb Yechiel Yehoshua from Biale, may his holy memory be blessed. He was the grandfather of our revered Rebbe, a direct descendent of five generations to the Yid Hakadosh.

The Chelkas Yehoshua

Prewar Poland boasted of the Rebbe’s grandfather, Reb Yechiel Ye hoshua Ztk”l as one of its greatest leaders. However, his fame reached a pinnacle during the terrible holocaust when he uncompromisedly sanctified Hashem’s name, first in occupied Poland and later in the freezing Siberia. His selflessness was indescribable. When he reached Israel, all the great Rabbis acknowledged him as a great tzaddik. He was defied and honored as an angel in a mortal world.

The Lahavas Dovid

Next in line was the Rebbe’s father, the holy Rabbi Dovid Mattisya hu ztk”l. He was renowned and famous for his purity and greatness. During his lifetime, his father appointed him as head of Yeshivas Biale. During his travels throughout the world he revived the broken hearted with his moving prayers and heartfelt talks. People were drawn to him from afar. His tall hand some profile reminded many of his holy father’s image.

The Rebbe continues to tow this beautiful golden chain. However, he does not suffice with leading his own community. He is concerned about the welfare of all of Klal Yisrael. Several times a year he leaves the comforts of his home and visits countries and communities where no other Chassidic Reb be has ever spent a Shabbos before. He embraces those who have strayed. He strengthens, encourages, motivates, and directs until another Jew has found his way back to our Father in Heaven.

THE FATHER OF THE ORPHANS

The Rebbe’s institutions are famous throughout Israel. The center is based in Bnei Brak, and there are branches all over the country. However, his favorite project is the welfare of “his’’ orphans. The Rebbe is father to fifteen biological children and countless grandchildren. However, hundreds of chil dren throughout the world call him “Father.” Amongst the many institutions that are under his auspices is the yeshiva gevoah called “Mishkan Shimon Biale ‘’ which is situated in Beitar Eilit. Batei Midrash and kollels for young men are spread out in Bnei Brak, Jerusalem, Beitar Eilit, Modiin Eilit, Ash dod, and Beit Shemesh. However, the institution for widows and orphans is under the Rebbe’s direct administration. This fund supports the widows and orphans studying in the Rebbe’s institutions. The desolate orphans receive everything they need of the best quality and quantity. This includes cloth ing, shoes, scholarship, dorm service, and of course pocket money. All this is naught compared to the personal attention the Rebbe bestows upon them. As far as the Rebbe is concerned, they are his fully adopted children. His house is their house, their worries become his own. The Rebbe follows after their studies and makes sure they have personal tutors. Point in case - the Rebbe, who had just returned from a trip to the USA one Erev Pesach, told his driver to take him to visit his orphans directly from the airport. His own family and children can wait – his orphans come first. Upon his arrival the Rebbe gave each orphan gifts and pocket money enough for everything he needs for Yom Tov. Only then did he make his own way home to his family and Yom Tov preparations.

Outstanding development in Biale institutions in Israel:

For many years, the special institution in which the Rebbe’s “children’’ resides is an old building in the town of Beitar Eilit which is close to Jerusa lem. The building lies in close proximity to the borderline and faces directly the Arab town “Hussan.” The Arab inhabitants have a daily view of a Jewish Torah town developing right in front of their hate-filled eyes. The town is part of the “occupied territories.” The building is old and dilapidated. In the winter the rain leaks in, in the summer it is more of a furnace. This year the Rebbe reached a decision: NO MORE! “My wonderful children’’ deserve better! In recent months a new campus is being built on Kedushas Levi St. in the heart of Beitar Eilit. The campus will include spacious classrooms, computer and game rooms, a fully equipped dormitory and a modern kitchen, for the wel fare of the students for whom the building is home.

In addition to the above, a huge chesed center is being built on Daf Hayomi St. The Rebbe is renowned for his acts of chesed. He is the first address which needy widows and orphans turn to. Truckloads containing everything possible are sent on every erev chag to provide the needy with everything they need for yom tov. Clothing, shoes, fish, meat, chicken, goodies, and last but not least a hefty cheque to lighten their sorrow filled hearts. Very often the Rebbe takes part in wed dings where he acts as the “father” on both sides.

AROUND THE CLOCK

As day turns to dusk in New York, the phones in Israel become alive! Now it is the Jews of Israel’s turn. They call non-stop asking the Rebbe for blessings and advice. It is the Yidden in Los Angeles, New York, Miami, and New Jersey who are calling. It makes no difference, they are all his children. Hundreds of emails are sent to the Rebbe’s office daily, and the Rebbe devotes precious hours to answer them personally. He carries these requests with him and remembers them in his daily prayers. The burden becomes his own. He is with them in their sorrow and delights in their happiness. Seven gabbaim are employed throughout the day to provide immediate response to the thousands calling the Rebbe. How happy are the gabbaim when they can inform the Rebbe of another baby born, a couple engaged, or

yet another miraculous turn of events!

THE REBBE’S LODGING:

These days are happy days for the res idents of Los Angeles as they are anxiously preparing to meet once again with their be loved Rebbe. The Rebbe will be staying in Los Angeles from Monday, November 21 at the house of the honorable host DR. & MRS. DAVID & DOROTHY STOLL, AT 422 S. LAS PALMAS AVENUE, LOS AN GELES, CALIFORNIA.

ONEG SHABBAT & TISH FRI DAY NIGHT IN HANCOCK PARK ON NOVEMBER 25

On the second Shabbos, November 25 will be held an amazing “Oneg Shabbos” tisch which the Rabbi will hold Friday night. The great Shabbos will take place on Par shas Toldos on the 25th of November 2022

At the BAIS HAMEDRASH LEVI YITZ CHOK 365 N. LA BREA AVE, at 8.30 pm. There are still some people in Los Angeles who remember the Rebbe’s Holy Father, the previous Biale Rebbe Z”TZl. So it is now over 30 years that Rabbis of the communi ty, Shtreimlech wearers, and modern Jews, have participated in Biale tishes. The most special part of the tisch is during the famous kiddush which the Rebbe performs. It is well known that the Rebbe’s kiddush is ca pable of bringing about great miracles. The emotive singing and dancing at the Rebbe’s tischim elevating its participants to a stan dard of “maeyn oilam habah!” This will fol low with an abundance of Divrei Torah and Hashkafah.

Now the residents of Los Angeles have this unique opportunity. If you have not yet had the merit of meeting the Rebbe and would like to book an appointment for a per sonal consultation, a blessing, or advice, call the Rebbe’s private secretary now! (English speaking) telephone no. 917-272-4045.

Or send an email to bialebneibrak@gmail.com

Community Profile

Daniel Tamir

Director of NCSY Jumpshot

Tova Keller

Daniel Tamir, at 6 feet 10 inches, has journeyed from being an Israeli professional basketball player as a secular Jerusalemite to a Torah observant lifestyle. Daniel currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and son. This coming summer, he will lead NCSY Jumpshot, a niche program for high school boys looking for an intense basketball experience in Israel. This interview provides a glimpse into the man behind this incredible program and what is to come on NCSY Jumpshot 2023.

After graduating with honors from Yeshiva University’s Sy Syms School of Business in 2018 and coaching at Yeshiva University from 2016 through 2018, Daniel sought a warmer climate and a place where he could further develop his approach to coaching basketball. He made Los Angeles his home. Currently, Daniel lives in Los Angeles with his wife and son and works as a financial advisor while also running his basketball clinics, Hapoel America.

Q: Daniel, tell us how your story begins.

A: Basketball is in my DNA. My father played for Maccabi Jerusalem back in the 70’s and is 6’6”. My brother, Amit Tamir, who is 6’11”, followed in my father’s footsteps and played professionally for 20 years. My family has deep roots in Israel, and Jerusalem has a special place in my heart.

Q: When did you know you wanted to play basketball professionally?

A: In the first grade when we had to come to school dressed up as the profession we aspired to. I came in wearing an NBA basketball jersey and a basketball in my hand. As a kid, every time I played I imagined myself playing against Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant and the stars of that era.

Q: What were some challenges you overcame as a young athlete?

A: I remember playing ball with kids that were older than me. I was heavy at the time and couldn’t move around much. People made fun of my weight. Around 8th grade I realized that I needed to take control and prove that I could do what I wanted to do most. That summer, I was on the court for hours at a time. By the end of the summer, I was 6’2” or 6’3”. With the work that I had put in combined with my growth and strength, things started to change. I realized how important it was to focus less on what other people say and more on what you know you are capable of.

Q: At some point during your journey you came to the United States.

A: At the age of 25, I was invited to play for Yeshiva University. However, due to eligibility rules I was not able to play for the team. Coach Steinmetz offered me a coaching position instead. I didn’t hesitate. I took 2 suitcases with me and left everything that was familiar to me. I ended up coaching at Yeshiva for four seasons, making incredible friends, learning about my heritage, and slowly becoming observant and tapping into the depths of what a life of Torah means.

Q: You mentioned that you started becoming observant when you came to the United States. Tell us more.

A: As a secular Israeli, I was exposed to stereotypes about religious Jews and about religi osity in general. Things such as religious Jews don’t go to the army; religious Jews don’t pay taxes; religious Jews don’t work. But from the moment I came to the United States and began my time at Yeshiva University, I was exposed to a community of religiously observant people who were kind, welcoming, successful, and productive. They did not match any of those stereotypes. I respected them and felt drawn to their lifestyle and values.

Q: How did your teshuva and your observance connect with basketball for you?

A: The week after my first Shabbat, which took place in the Five Towns in New York, I sat down with Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, who talked to me about how it’s important to use basketball and other physical elements to lift ourselves up. Not long after that, I was invited to go on a trip to Ukraine. On the trip, the Rebbe encouraged me to add spirituality to basketball and use the ball as a means of incorporating spirituality into the game. When I came back from the trip, YU was in the midst of a losing streak. I approached one of the guys and asked him if he’d be open to learning with me for a few minutes before the game. He was into it. The game went well. We decided to learn before each game. We learned Mesilat Yesharim, Parashat Hashavua and Middot. We started

winning games consistently. We were focused on improving ourselves on and off the court. More and more guys started learning together before each competition. After eight victories, we went to an away game in Farmingdale. We were running late and felt that we didn’t have the time to learn. We lost in double over time. After that, we committed to going back to learning and working on ourselves before each game. And a number of the guys continue that tradition until today.

Q: And now your journey brings you to lead NCSY Jumpshot, which is a niche basket ball program in Israel for high school boys. How does it all connect?

A: Basketball is a vessel that can be used to show teens that they can push themselves past what they thought may have been impossible both physically and spiritually. Basketball can be used to inspire, teach life lessons, and help teenage athletes to become the best versions of themselves. We have worked hard to incorporate all of these concepts into one summer program that is transformative, challenging, fun and life changing.

Q: What does Jumpshot programming look like?

A: We train for roughly five hours a day. Each coach pays attention to the details of what each player needs in order to elevate his game. Torah and chessed are an important part of our programming. Our counselors and mechanchim are amazing. Our upper staff are Bnei Torah and role models who have played Yeshiva league basketball and are fantastic with the kids. We go on trips all over Israel. One of the principles that we share with our participants is the 1% Rule. If we get better, stronger, kinder by 1% every single day, then by the end of the week we are 7% stronger, by the end of the month, 30% kinder and so on and so forth.

Q: What would you say to a teen who’s considering coming on Jumpshot 2023?

A: Jumpshot 2023 will be the best summer of your life. We are looking forward to an absolutely incredible summer where boys from all over come together with their common drive to play basketball at a high level. They will experience Israel like never before and reach goals that they might never have imagined. Please reach out to me with any questions at all at tamird@ncsy.org or to join our upcoming info sessions to learn more. Look out for NCSY emails about Jumpshot with news, and follow us at @ncsyjumpshot on Instagram.

Tova Keller lives in Woodmere, New York with her husband and two children. Her son, Avi, was a participant on NCSY Jumpshot for its launch year in 2022. She describes NCSY Jumpshot as “the most incredible combination of basketball training, personal growth and travel that you’ll find anywhere.

The Bais Yaakov Tenth graders Honors English stu dents were extremely vocal and opinionated when choos ing a topic to present in this newspaper. The following article will deal with the difficult challenge of how much we should shelter our children in this crazy chaotic world. Here were some of the comments.

Gila Akhamzadeh: I agree that finding a balance between the extreme and the laissez-faire approach is extremely difficult. However, for parents this is part of their obligation and re sponsibility of parenting. Each parent needs to evaluate the needs of his individual child. Not all children can be measured by the same level of protectiveness.

Dina Cohen: We do live in Galus and therefore are exposed to many ideas and values that do not jive with ours. What to do about this? We must have mentors such as Rabbanim or teach ers to help us veer our children towards those values that are so much a part of our yiddishkeit, and at the same time keep our children away from those that are an antithesis to every thing we hold dear. Yet, we have to respect those who do not want to take any chances of the “dirt of the world” infiltrating the kedusha of their world by disallowing anything secular in the way of books or other media into the home.

Tehila Khakshoor: Yes, sheltering is important, but we must remember that some are overdoing it, like going through life with blinders on each side of the eyes. The danger of this is that this creates a vision that is only peripheral and this can only give way to tunnel vision. Tunnel vision creates a barrier between you and those around you. This barrier becomes a factor in ignoring the importance of respect for those different from ourselves.

Ahuva Klempner: We live in this world and it is impossible to ignore much that is around us. This does not mean that we can go unfiltered. Technology can be used for the good or the bad. If a child has never been exposed to anything around him, how will he be able to develop proper borders to protect him? It is during childhood that the child needs to learn the techniques to either sieve out the bad or inculcate the good into his Jewish values. Without this guidance the child can be left extremely vulnerable to the evil of this world.

Rachel Sinai: The problem of balancing can be solved with the word moderation. Parents need to teach their children about moderation in dealing with issues that have the poten tial to damage, if not dealt with in moderation. For example, alcohol consumption by children in the outside world is con sidered an absolute negative. But in the Jewish world parents who give their children a little Kiddush wine or a L’chaim, give it within the framework of kedusha, and then the child learns that moderation and for the right reasons is okay. He therefore will not be tempted to over indulge.

Chaya Schwartz: Human nature is to ask questions and to explore. Thus, preventing this natural need and being over protective can cause backlash. The child facing danger in a world that has many pitfalls that he is totally unaware of is in danger of hurting himself because he has never been exposed to or given the correct tools to deal with them. He becomes so sensitive that there is no protective armor for him to deal with anything that is outside his Daled Amos.

Dena Benporat: The Torah actually gives us a prime example of this. After 12 years, Reb Shimon Bar Yochai, who was hid ing from the Romans, finally exited the cave he had been liv ing in with his son. When they exited they came upon a world that was totally foreign to them. They could not tolerate it so they had to return to the cave. Not educating our children about the world around them will prevent them from having the ability to cope.

Ester Toledano: Even when parents have inculcated their children about the rights and wrongs of the outside society, there is no guarantee that their values will travel with their children. In order to achieve this, the home must have a strong atmosphere of mutual respect between parent and child where there is room for discussion and questions about topics that some parents don’t even want to venture. Because if every thing is “hush-hush” and there is no communication or the child is afraid to ask, then parents no longer have control of the sources of information their children might seek instead of theirs. This leads the child to places that are dangerous to them, emotional instability, and a search into alternative reli gious beliefs. So that in the end over sheltering can be more harmful than beneficial.

Esti Beinstock: We must not disregard the importance of the environment. Geographical location is definitely an important factor on how much we can shelter our children. Especially in places where there are negligible Jewish families or people who live our lifestyle. If your child is the only Yid or Shomer Shabbos in his town, there is a big difference than if your child is living in Meah Shearim. That child who is in the mi nority needs to deal with and respect those that are different from him.

Sevia Hakakha: The reality is that eventually in the future life may take us on a path that might not align with our moral values. Therefore it is imperative to prepare every child with enough of a synthesis between his Jewish values and secular values to be able to relate and respect those around him and to strengthen him in his own values.

Shira Vosoghi: Parents are sometimes so fearful of exposing their children to anything different than them. The focus is so inclusive that the children have difficulty relating to others, so that often proper Middos fall by the wayside. Being respect ful to others who are human beings does not even register in their behavior. We have heard often that students will be extremely disrespectful to teachers who are either not Jewish, or teach secular studies, because the students don’t even have a barometer for what is defined as chutzpah to those who are different from them.

Leah Farivar: One consideration is the personality of the child. Different children need different boundaries. One child may veer towards things that appall the parents yet, the par ents need to choose the battles carefully; while another child may have zero desire to gravitate towards anything that goes against his parents’ values. Logically, both children cannot be handled the same.

Matana Amouna: It is important to remember that our chil dren will be the parents of tomorrow. If they have not been given the proper tools to deal with the outside world, how can they pass this onto the next generation? This will create an ineffectual domino outcome of insipid preparation for the worst challenges to our values that the future may hold.

In the end the moral dilemma of raising pure yiddishe neshamos is excruciatingly difficult and should be a top ic discussed by the parents even before they marry. The important thing is that the parents speak together as one. We are torn between wanting to protect our children and arming them with the ability to function in this world. There is no list of what actually to do and we thus, must accept as much help from role models as possible. In all of this, we must remember to respect those who do not

necessarily open their chil dren to the outside world and those who feel they should.

e n i n g l e a r n i n g l e r i n f a r m t o u r s f a r m t o u r s & m u c h m o r e ! & m u c h m o r e !

Mrs. Sylvia Heyman comes armed with over 40 years of experience as a parent to ten rambunctious wonder fully different children. She has been a teacher of thousands of students, ranging in age from 9 to 90, including every sphere of our society. The opin ions expressed here are solely hers and come from a sincere desire to help. She welcomes your comments to the debated issue. Please send them to editor@thelajewishhome.com.

Lessons I Learned Along the Way

Who is the Adult in the Room?

Mrs. Sheindy Gross

A ninth grade student once approached me right at the start of a new school year to ask if she could switch out of her honor’s level English class. She was finding the course too rigorous and challenging. I gave her a few reasons why I thought she should stick it out. My main concern was that the academic year had just begun. I wanted her to be more acquainted with the schedule of classes and adapt to her new workload before making the switch. She was more likely to have that information a few weeks into the semester and could make a more informed decision. We agreed to meet again at the start of November.

She was timely for that next meeting. Novem ber dawned and there she was advocating for the switch. We sat down together and discussed the pros and cons, but she was adamant. That’s when I made her aware of a guiding principle whenever I deal with children and young adults who are in my charge. “What will your adult self think when you reflect back on this conversation years from now? Will you say: boy, she was an easy sell. All I had to do was push hard and she caved!” She smiled and gave it some thought. I again reiterated why I believed it was not in her best interest to go down a level. She did not feel like pushing herself. However, from an academic perspective it would impact her college aspirations negatively. Undoubtedly, it may have been a hard class, but not beyond her capacity.

good guide: For every request your children make for which you must give an unequivocal “no,” there should always be a “yes” that you offer in its place. Another parenting gem someone once shared with me: “Never take something away from a child that you cannot give back.” Both of these served me well when navigating tough decisions both with my family and at school.

To be honest, I no longer remember what the final outcome was and whether or not she suc ceeded in convincing me to move her to the preferred class. However this was a guiding principle that I used most often when a student would advocate, plead or get downright furious when a deci sion was made that she did not agree with.

It is so hard to be the adult in the room. And in 2022 it can be very intimidating. Our Chazal predicted that in the years before Moshiach’s arrival the “Old will serve the young” and we certainly see that in our society today. But who are the victims in these situations? When an adult cannot act responsibly and be confident using their life experience? The children of course. These may very well be missed opportunities that will not present themselves again.

Without a doubt, there are adults who seek to impose their will on their younger charges and are misguided. Perhaps that is for another article of discussion. But when we deeply care about a child or teenager we should keep in mind the ramifications of just “giving in” because it is the easier route. Gently but firmly standing your ground can be hard. It takes a lot more energy, thought, and communication. But it builds character and creates insight. We often think that being lax in our ap proach to discipline, structure, and strong standards is a more compassionate route. But the message we are really conveying is that we lack the confidence and conviction and are unsure of our own position.

A few weeks ago I met the young girl in our story who is now a grown adult. A real nachas both to myself and our Jewish community. As we were discussing the college degree she is currently pursuing, I mentioned the above incident and she smiled (her trademark smile) and said: “Oh you remember that conversation?” We briefly talked about the results of a decision that was made quite a number of years ago.

Many young children and students are grateful for being gently pushed to do something they had initially disagreed with. The greatest nachas is when they themselves can see the advantages years later. When they can recognize the bravery it took to be insistent in the face of push back, they now have the confidence to pay it forward to the young children in their own lives.

Ultimately, when you care enough you should speak up. For the greatest assurance that our decisions will stand the test of time, I believe we must build trust with our children and teenagers. Take the time to discuss the options with the child themselves. Don’t rush, hear them out. Perhaps there’s a perspective you missed; a point or detail to consider. This takes patience. Perhaps a follow up discussion with the other team members at school or your spouse will now be necessary. We may not feel that we have the energy and it feels too effortful. Yet, it is the only way that people can be built and that they can trust that there is no agenda. It is their best interest that we have in mind.

Standing your ground as a parent can be even more daunting. While a teacher/student re lationship can have some measure of distance that creates its own respect, a parent and child are usually comfortably close and when there is so much emotion, it can get tricky. As a young parent just starting to raise my family, an aunt of mine gave me a parenting suggestion that proved to be a

I always knew that we had reached an optimal solution when the child themselves agreed to my theory of considering what their adult selves would respect. But that requires a level of maturity that not every young person has. In cases where the child I am speaking with cannot see my point, sometimes a compromise was an option. Or we would agree to reconsider in a few weeks. This allows some time to reflect on an idea and they may surprise you by coming around and seeing your perspective. Or just not being as angry. This is also a huge win.

Be brave, be strong. and daven hard for success. Klal Yisroel’s growth and hatzlacha is depending on you.

With over 30 years in education, Mrs. Sheindy Gross started her career teaching Judaic Studies in Yavneh Hebrew Academy, and then went on to high school leadership in Bnos Devorah and Valley Torah Girls High schools where she served as principal. Her passion for education has now led her to create a new platform called TEHILA, Torah Education with Heart in LA, for women and girls to receive adult education and advisement. The goal is to strengthen and empower women to develop their best selves through bonding over Torah learning and connecting with Jews of all ages. In addition to TEHILA, Mrs. Gross provides dating and relationship mentoring for teenagers, singles and women, as well as leadership consulting for educators. Mrs. Gross can be reached at sheindyg@gmail.com.

“As a young parent just starting to raise my family, an aunt of mine gave me a parenting suggestion that proved to be a good guide: For every request your children make for which you must give an unequivocal “no,” there should always be a “yes” that you offer in its place.”

“Our Chazal predicted that in the years before Moshiach’s arrival the “Old will serve the young” and we certainly see that in our society today. But who are the victims in these situations?”

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Dear D ni

Dini Gres

Dear Dini,

I hope you can help me. I’m really going nuts. I’m in my 50’s ka”h, and for the last few years I’ve had trouble sleeping through the night. I used to sleep tight, no problem for years. Last night was the worst. I took 10mg of melatonin at 10pm. I slept from 11pm to 12am, woke up from some noise and that was that. I twisted and turned till 4am. At 4am, I decided that’s it, and went onto my phone for shiurim and Netflix. I wake up at 6am to get my daughter off to school! I need a solution. Tylenol PM gives me a solid 5 hours, but I don’t want to do that often.

Please help! I need a good night’s sleep!

Devora P.S. I’m probably 30lbs. overweight at this point of my life.

Dear Devora, I toiled over answering your question. I am not a medical professional, and therefore answering this question is out of my wheelhouse. To be completely transparent, I turned 49 this year, and I myself have struggled with this on and off for the past three years. In light of that, I wanted to honor your question with some personal advice that has worked for me.

As someone who has tried the different types of medication or supplements that you mentioned, I don’t like the after effects or find them helpful. As we age they don’t seem to be the answer. I get frustrated when I think that’s the ticket and I wake up asking “how did this not work?”

is tailor-made to make us nervous and brings out underlying anxiety, steering into a negative spin of emotions. This doesn’t help to promote a healthy lifestyle. You’ve said Shema since you were a young child, so it’s embedded in you. Now, to add onto that habit, train yourself to create a mindset of closure for the day.

The second step is to focus on physical aspects. First, put away your phone - out of sight, out of mind. I used to put my phone away but I would still hear the dings. If I silenced it, I would hear the vibration from across the room. So now, I shut it off entirely. In the beginning it was not easy, I literally couldn’t shut off my brain, thinking whoever needed to reach me couldn’t. Over time, I was able to fully shut off the phone and it’s been a game changer. When the world is quiet from our phones, there is a deeper peace within you.

You mentioned that you sometimes fall asleep but then you wake up. The distractions don’t help with going back to sleep; they keep you awake and your brain engaged. I’m a big podcast listener, however I will only put on the one that I’m least interested in hearing so that I fall back to sleep out of boredom. When I used to listen to the ones I loved, I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to hear the whole thing.

You ended your question with the fact that you’re overweight. Weight loss is where I want to start because if we are overweight, we don’t feel well because of it. Perhaps the excess weight can be one of the reasons for your lack of sleep. My advice would be to course correct by watching our eating habits and being active, which is all part of a mentally healthy lifestyle. Surrounding yourself with positive people is also a huge part of that. I mention this as a first step because from my experience, the better I feel physically the easier it is to sleep. The tricky part is that actually getting a good night’s sleep is what helps you stay clear, focused, motivated, and consistent.

I have learned from health coaches that the process of going to sleep actually starts when you wake up. How does your day start and what does it consist of? One needs sunlight in the morning. It helps with our circadian rhythms and actually contributes to our ability to fall asleep at night. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you should do is open your shades, find the sunlight (if weather permits), and look outside. This has helped me when I have tried this, and when I decide to stay a drop longer in bed, I find my whole day is off.

In order to stay asleep through the night, I believe it’s all about a mindset and a prac tice. The mindset is literally talking to yourself before bed, “I’m going to sleep now, my day is done.” A Cheshbon Hanefesh, the nightly ritual of reviewing the day, helps by providing peace of mind, honoring your successes, giving gratitude, and realizing what did not work out. You can find the lesson you can learn and put it to rest, because it’s over and cannot be redone. The mindset needs to be sharp and for that you need to make it a practice. Journaling helps to create a focused and clear mindset. Do not watch any news or anything else on a screen before sleep. The news, and the images that come with it, stay in your brain long after you sleep. The news

By nature I am an early riser, and I truly believe that helps the most. As I get older sometimes I don’t want to be popping out of bed at 5:30am or 6:00am. I have no carpools now (yes, I’m loving that) and I don’t need to rush. But it’s better to get out of bed early. It works for you not against you. In actuality, your 6am wake up call for your daughter is the best thing. When you wake up at 4am, go back to self talking and remind your body this is not the time. Other little helpful things such as not drinking coffee anytime after 12pm, shutting down the activity in your house, or taking long baths or showers are all ways to re-teach your body that it’s time to close up shop for the night.

Hopefully, between this response and reading and learning more, we can look forward to a good night’s sleep over and over again. Hashem put the concept of daylight and nighttime in our lives from the creation of the world, so I have to believe there is a solution that will work for you and anyone out there struggling with the same challenge.

Adina (Dini) Gres is a wife, mother of 4 adult daughters, business owner, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. Through her role as owner of Financial Concierge LLC and coach for personal and financial clients, Adina recog nizes that trying to get ahead without managing a healthy mentality is the primary reason blocking individuals from success. Through working with her clients, whether that be in business or lifestyle, she is able to help them under stand how they themselves can change the narrative of their lives. You can hear more from Adina by listening to her podcast titled “Things I think you should know.” Adina also shares on her Instagram page @financialconcierge.

“What I have learned from health coaches, and others’ advice is this, the process of going to sleep actually starts when you wake up.”

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Dear Hindi,

I have a real problem with my mother-in-law. She is super pushy about everything from opinions to gifts to my personal schedule. She will always comment negatively on what I am wearing and I feel like I have no room to breathe! I know I don’t want to cut off ties with her because she is my husband’s mom, after all, but I am pretty much done with her criticism and complaints.

Please help! Desperate DIL

Yosef Hatzadik. He had every excuse at every juncture in his life to lay blame somewhere else. From his brother’s jealousy, to the prison environment, to the temptations of Aishes Potifar. Never once, throughout Yosef’s journey, did he wa ver in understanding that this was all G-d’s Hand. Even when he stands before his brothers and reveals himself, he calmly allows them to know that their own terrible actions were designed for him and a part of his destiny. He comforts them, “But now do not be sad, and let it not trouble you that you sold me here, for it was to preserve life that God sent me before you.” (Bereishis, 45:5) What an incredibly powerful example of deep belief in G-d and His ways. Hashgacha Pratis according to Yosef means that G-d predetermines every aspect of our circumstances. Every part of our life is meticulously prepared. The ins and outs of our day, our experienc es, our parents, our siblings, spouses, and ... our spouse’s parents.

Wasn’t expecting that one, dhuh?

In the gentlest of tones I am inviting you to see that perhaps your mother-inlaw was designed for you. She was brought into your life for a purpose. It didn’t happen by chance that your destined husband came along with other people in his life. This person was curated for you and somehow there is a gift for you to receive from this situation. It is up to you to discover what that is.

Dear DIL,

I hear how stuck you feel! I can definitely relate to feeling like there is a noose around my neck. No one wants to feel like that, much less from a loved one. Hmmm, I wonder if I can invite you to try something different. Something that you might not have tried yet. Since you feel pushed to the point of cutting off all ties and are unwilling to do so…could you be open to that?

Let’s take a break from the criticism and pain and ponder some existential questions. Why not? It

might be nice to clear your head for a bit. Let’s talk about Hashgacha Pratis. Hashgacha Pratis is one of my favorite thoughts to linger on. Whenever I catch a moment for reflection, I always come back to Hashgacha Pratis. It appears on the fringe of my mind when I see a leaf floating down from the autumnal foliage and lands in the precise spot that G-d ordained. It crops up when I miss an exit, get stuck in traffic, and then show up late for carpool. There is a reason I missed that exit and if I am open, I might find out what it is. It occurs to me whenever I truly look into my child’s eyes and realize that every aspect of this little human, the part of them that fills me with maternal pride and the part of them that makes me want to explode, all of it, was given to me. This whole child was given to me as a gift and it is up to me to explore the why, the what, and the how to ensure this child’s greatness. Everywhere I look, all I see is G-d’s hand beckoning to me, revealing Himself as the Grand Orchestrator of all. He has designed every nuance and every part of it that I witness has been prepared for me to somehow gain, learn, and grow.

To deeply live with the concept of Hashgacha Pratis demands a level of extreme honesty. The moment of frustration, pain, and fury looks askance at our response. How will we react to the obstacle, to the object of fury, to the very person who seems to stand in our way? Hashgacha Pratis demands one shift from seeing all the distractions to seeing the whole truth. It is not easy to look at the very thing, person, or obstacle in your life and think that it was placed there. We would rather not bring G-d into this, we would rather just look at this as an unfortunate event that unfolded to our detriment. But is it?

The prime example of one who looked at his challenging life as orchestrated by G-d was

Now there were many times that she said something that really hurt, she did something that was disrespectful, and she made you feel small. There is a good reason why you have assembled an armory to protect yourself! Notwithstanding the hurt and pain, is there something to grow from over here? Every single occurrence in your life is an invitation. Let’s take a Yosef Hatzadik approach. The absolute truth is, this is not happening by chance. Where is the gift of growth? What would happen if the next time she pushed and there was nothing for her to push against? I don’t mean for you to be a pushover, but I do mean for you to summon some good old humility. Humility and Honesty are good friends who often walk together hand in hand. What is making you defensive towards her? It takes a good deal of humility to admit the truth; Ego. What would it look like if you took down the resistance to her, took down the walls of defense, and summoned the belief that she is not a con trolling person but instead a person who truly has good intentions? I am wondering if it’s possible to hear her underlying love and concern. She might not be using the wording that you enjoy or frequently use. There is a gift here for you to experience something outside of yourself, something different, and receive it. Can you perhaps hear her annoying reminders to buy Shabbos clothes for the kids as actually trying to help you? Can you hear her telling you that black is not your color as perhaps the very truthful feedback you wish your closest friends would give to you? Is it too much of a stretch to see that when she pushes you to take home the bagful of mangoes from her tree that she doesn’t want you to spend when she can just give it to you?

This is not easy work. It is a lifelong journey to explore G-d’s hand in your life. Holding onto all the things you appreciate about her whilst simultaneously looking for where you can open yourself up to the gift of growth that Hashem is offering to you is just about the most powerful place to be. Every time you confront an obstacle, a hindrance, a really painful experience, perhaps you can look at

assurance in Yosef’s words, “But

Hindi Kalmenson is a certified Relationshift coach based in Los Angeles. She is passionate about relationships and self growth. She educates women on Torah’s perspective of marriage at her workshops and retreats, and helps women around the world through her coaching program. Hindi lives with her husband and four children in Los Angeles.

it and remember the timeless comfort and

now do not be sad ... for it was to preserve life that God sent me before you.”

“Holding onto all the things you appreciate about her whilst simultaneously looking for where you can open yourself up to the gift of growth that Hashem is offering to you is just about the most powerful place to be.”

Hindi Kalmenson

My 5 Favorite Foods to Stay Healthy During Flu Season

Bracha Abramson RD, CDN

With Fall upon us and Winter quickly approaching, it’s important now more than ever, to ensure our family’s immune systems are strong and resilient. With a healthy immune system, it is easier for our bodies to fight off foreign invaders such as viruses, bacteria, or anything else that can potentially be detrimental to our well-being. Combining healthy eating with staying hydrated, getting sufficient sleep, consistently exercising and limiting caffeine and alcohol, is a great recipe to strengthen the immune system. With a busy daily routine, it can be difficult to make quality and nutrient-dense food choices. So here are some of my favorite daily “Go-tos”:

Yogurt and Kefir

Yogurts are a super convenient, on-the-go breakfast. Grab to go with a spoon, straw, or those convenient squeeze ups for the little ones! Fermented dairy products such as regular yogurt, Greek yogurt, Skyr, and Kefir contain live, active cultures known as probiotics. Probiotics, also known as “good bacteria,’’ positively influence the balance of our gut microbiota which re search continues to prove its great effect on our immunity. In fact, 70% of our immune system is thought to be located in the gut. Yogurt also contains a solid amount of Zinc and Vitamin D, which are immune boosting nutrients. Just be aware of added sugars and try to stay below 15g of added sugars per serving. Other great fermented foods are sauerkraut, kombucha, tempeh (fermented soya beans), and miso.

Oranges

Oranges of all types are a significant source of Vitamin C and easy to take along as a snack! Just one medium orange contains 92% of recom mended daily Vitamin C for men and 110% of recommended daily Vitamin C for women. Vitamin C is a powerful antioxidant that aids in increasing the production of white blood cells which help to ward off infection. Vitamin C also helps to absorb iron which is an integral mineral to help protect from dis ease. Some other immune-strengthening fruits are lemons, limes, grapefruits, berries, guava and kiwi.

Almonds

Almonds and some other nuts are also a convenient, on-the-go crunch that are overflowing with the antioxidant Vitamin E and “good” unsaturated fats. Vitamin E has been found in large concentrations in immune cells and has been shown to reduce the risk of infections and support overall immune func tion. Nuts are also rich in Zinc and Magnesium which promote wound heal ing, stimulate antiviral immune mechanisms, and regulate immune responses.

Bell Peppers

Bell peppers, particularly red or orange in color, are hidden treasures to get in your antioxidant Vitamins A, C and E. Cut up in sticks and served with hummus, tuna, dips, or diced into a salad, this veggie’s immune boosting properties are not as well-known as others. Antioxidant vitamins help fight free radicals which damage our body’s cells. Vitamin C has also been shown to slightly reduce the duration of an illness. One cup of sliced Red Bell Pep pers contains greater than 100% daily recommended vitamin C for men and women. Some of my other favorite food sources of antioxidants are carrots, kale, sweet potatoes, broccoli, spinach and tomatoes.

Salmon and Tuna

Filet of salmon, Ahi Tuna, and canned fish all make a light, nutritious lunch or dinner and tend to be a main staple in many homes. These specific “fatty fish” are filled with “good” polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs), Vitamin D, and are specifically known for its high Omega-3 content. Salmon and tuna are also substantial sources of Selenium which has been associated with an enhanced immune and neutrophil response. Omega-3 fatty acids are consid ered essential fatty acids, meaning they are necessary for human health but the body does not produce them. Research continues to support Omega-3 fatty acids’ significant role in reducing inflammation and lowering risk of diseases, thereby promoting the body’s overall immune strength. Trying to consume two 4oz. servings of “fatty fish” per week is a good place to start.

A well-balanced, varied diet combined of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and high fiber carbohy drates can make a profound difference on one’s overall health. By prioritizing the time to stock up your kitchen with immune-boosting foods and planning your meals and snacks, you are setting up your home for healthier food choices. Combining these nutrient-rich foods with healthy lifestyle habits as mentioned above, sets you and your family up for success in combating illnesses or viruses that may come your way this cold/flu season. Parents are the #1 greatest role models for a healthy lifestyle and good eating habits. If these habits are modeled in childhood and maintained throughout adulthood, the impact it can have on your children’s health can be wondrous. We all want a life full of health for our families, so give them the tools they need to succeed!

Bracha Abramson, RD, CDN is a Registered Dietitian-Nutritionist with over 8 years of adult and pediatric experience. She grad uated from New York-Presbyterian Cornell and Columbia with a fellowship specializing in Pediatrics. She currently lives with her family in Los Angeles and is the founder of Robin’s Nest Family Nutrition. Feel free to contact her at BrachaAbramsonRD@gmail.com.

Rena Kohengadol and

Hello Dear Fellow Los Angelinos, Who are we? Let us tell you a little bit about ourselves. Our names are Rena Ko hengadol and Tikva Braum. We are two Orthodox moms who started an Amazon business during the COVID-19 lockdown. Life with kids on Zoom was really overwhelming to say the least. Being neighbors, we would often take walks and vent about our seemingly endless days. During one of our walks, we decided to start a “hobby” and create a product to sell on Amazon.

In just a few months we were creating products in China and selling them on Amazon. In order to boost sales, we figured we would create engaging videos about our products and post them on social media.

We had one problem though - neither one of us had social media. To take the matter further, we were both very invested in keeping ourselves off of any social media platforms. Time went on and our sales started to slow down. We decided to get practical and talk about why we were worried about starting a social media account.

We spoke to a Rav who made it clear to us that using social media as a form of busi ness should not be problematic. However, we needed to be sure we are showcasing our prod ucts in the most tsnuis way possible. Of course he had warned us about the shady, gray areas that can get sticky. Well, okay then, we thought that shouldn’t be too hard.

Right? Wrong!

After growing big on two platforms, we decided to open an Instagram account. We soon got wind of what happens on Instagram: Lots of personal sharing, showing off, and des perate calls for attention. What complicated our situation even more was that people would constantly ask us why we never get “personal” in our videos? Or why don’t we show our faces on camera? Some would even tell us, “your content is so great but people would rather see your personal life. That’s the only way to grow on Instagram.”

The strange thing was that on our other platform of 183,000+ mainly non-Jewish fol lowers, we got the opposite feedback. Thousands of comments came pouring in about how we are modest women who don’t want to share ourselves in the public eye. This made us feel respected and confident in our business venture and allowed us to keep creating “kosher” content.

We all know from the source in the Torah that bracha comes when things are done in private. In today’s generation we have unfortunately lost that sensitivity. But how can we even blame others? When everyone is so busy showcasing and flaunting their best life on social media, it automatically creates this toxic trend of feeling the need to do the same.

So here is where we would like to invite you all to try an interesting social media ex

periment. Ask yourself how you feel after scrolling through Instagram. You might be quick to answer, saying something along the lines of, “Fine, it’s just my time to chill out after a long day.” But sadly, it’s not so simple and also not so true.

A University of Pittsburgh study found that there is a direct link between social media use and depression. Because Instagram is so curated and image centric, users experience ex treme feelings of anxiety, stress, and inadequacy. Don’t believe it? Sign off of social media for a week and see how productive, present, and less anxious you feel. Pay attention to your real life engagement with your family vs. your screen time engagement. Get in touch with how you truly feel at the end of each day.

But hang on, we’re getting carried away here. What in the world does all this have to do with mommylifesquad? We’ll tell you. We have great content. People love our hacks. Many of our videos have over 4 million views and some over 30 million. We have several Jewish and non-Jewish companies reach out to us each week for collaborations. Reps from China are asking us daily to review their products on Amazon for pay and the list goes on.

Why share this with all of you? To tell you that social media does NOT need to be synonymous with showcasing, flaunting, or bragging about your life on camera. All of the above mentioned was achieved while staying modest. That’s the proven reality.

You can still grow your business, brand, company or whatever, without sharing your most personal glamorous life. And ladies, let’s be real for a minute: a lot of the sharing is not authentic anyway. So what’s the point?

Perhaps we at mommylifesquad are small in numbers on Instagram, and we are okay with it.

At the end of the day, we care to listen to the voice of our followers about new hack ideas or how followers are relating to our content. Instead of being on a quest to make others feel anxious or depressed from carefully curated visuals of our lifestyle. Nope.

We invite you all to take the challenge and Insta detox for a minute, and then ask your self who and why you follow certain accounts.

Our Three Most Viral Hacks

Avocado Hack

32 million views

How do you choose a ripe avocado? Remove the small stem at the top of the avocado and if it’s white= rotten; brown= about to go bad; green= perfect!

Window Privacy Hack

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If you’re looking for an easy solution to cov ering your bathroom window, try this hack! All you need is window film, some water and a scissor. Spray the area, place the film on and cut the edges to fit. Done!

Diaper Rash Hack

3 million views

You know how your baby gets that horrible looking diaper rash that makes you want to cry alongside your little innocent baby ?!? So you grab your diaper rash cream and start to make a mess. Your baby is kicking and screaming as you attempt to slab some on but come on…It literally lands ev erywhere except for where you need it to. Right? Well here is a product I wish mommylifesquad invented- Diaper rash SPRAY! Forget the mess and aim on point with one shpritz!

“You can still grow your business, brand, or company without having to showcase your most personal glamorous life.”

Tikva Braum

Dear Chani, I was wondering if you had some tips regarding toddler tantrums in the market.

-Mom

Dear Mom,

Sure! As a mom I can definitely identi fy with your plight. We have all been there… pushing the shopping cart with a tantruming two year old, holding a lolly in one hand while wiping their runny nose with the other and get ting stickier by the minute. All the while, won dering why we thought this would work.

Here are some ideas that have helped me take that dreadful experience and turn it into one that is more functional and possibly even enjoyable!

1. Try to make sure your toddler is phys ically taken care of before schlepping them along on your errands. Whether that’s making sure they went to the bathroom, ate lunch, or had a snack and drink. Will the market be cold, do they need a sweater? Yes, it is quite a lengthy list, by the time you finish taking care of their physical needs you’ll both need a nap! Well, you will and hopefully your toddler will too. In all seriousness, by taking care of your child’s physical needs you will have a more satisfied toddler, leaving less room for a tantrum.

single treat, even if it is just one. They regularly will start with one treat and by the end of the shopping experience they chose something else entirely. That is also a great lesson in choices (hmm, maybe a good article idea).

3. If you can manage to run to the mar ket (with a list!) without your toddler, that would obviously be the most foolproof way to eliminate such a tantrum.

Midlife Mu ical Musings

On Playing by Ear

Miriam Hendeles

“If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.” Pre paring one’s food for a nutritious diet, study ing for an exam, getting ready for an interview, organizing a travel itinerary, writing up lesson plans, practicing one’s music repertoire, and composing a speech are ways that can help us achieve strong results.

And then there are those who like to wing it or play things by ear. Some do it be cause they can’t be bothered to make a list (just talking theoretical, no personal experience here…), or they think it will come out better if they just throw in a pinch of salt and a handful of sugar and “some” oil and whatever else to the recipe. Who needs planning? The cake will come out just fine, right? Not really.

singing and the other person improvising a par ticular rhythm on the drums to accompany the song.

Improvisation, in any art, requires a lot of creativity, risk taking, and trust. Musically, I used to be very “attached” to the score, and played from music most of the time. I became a rather good sight reader, until one piano teach er told me, “liberate yourself from the music. Memorize it.” These days I’ve progressed to playing from memory and improvising.

2. I like to notify the child what the schedule is going to be and what they can an ticipate. My secret technique for success is that I let them know that they can pick out one treat. The conversation might look like, “Tam ar, I need to go to the market to buy some fruit. You lucky girl, you get to come with me! In the market you can pick out one treat!” Then in the market she is on the lookout for the winning treat that will be going home with her. Inevita bly, she does usually ask for more than one, but if you stay firm this doesn’t usually lead into a full blown tantrum as they are happy about their

To conclude, if you tried to set up your toddler’s physical needs, and tried to sweeten the outing with one treat, but still your stead fast child tenaciously holds on and wants to have his tantrum, it happens! You can choose to leave the store and serve cereal and milk for dinner that night. Or you can simply take a deep breath and smile. It’s okay, we’ve all been there and done that! I know it feels as though everyone is staring at you and your screaming child, but they probably are not. They definitely don’t hear your toddlers cry as loud as you do. You can give the onlookers a humble smile, and silently join together in a bond with any other mom that has ever suffered (survived?) through a tantruming toddler in the market.

“We start out with structure in our day to day life. That is our anchor, our safety net that we can always have to fall back on. But within that structure, it is fun to play around and make things a little more interesting for ourselves and others.”

But aside from baking, there are sit uations in life that call for figuring things out as one goes along. Or better yet, some people are the spontaneous type. They prefer to have a loose plan and then kind of wing it when the time comes. Just figure things out as we go along. Kind of make it work. For me, I like to have a general structure in my personal and pro fessional life. But within that structure, I like to play around with things.

When learning a new skill in life, I’m generally more structured and rule oriented. I learn all the rules and try to go pretty much by the book. But over time, I become more com fortable and rely on the rules as back-up. And by now – I realize one of the benefits of being middle-aged is knowing when and where to bend the rules.

In music, the art of improvising is when one plays a piece of music for the first time, and figures things out on an instrument as he or she goes along. This may be a song that is already known by the performer, who is simply playing the song on the spot in a new way that hasn’t been played before. Or it may be an original composition someone plays on the instrument without any music notation having been written beforehand. Or it can be a duet with one person

When we have memorized the melodies and harmonies so well that we can play it all by heart, then we are free to make it sound more interesting and creative. We are at liberty to re ally stretch the harmonies, live the music, feel it in our bodies. And maybe change things around here and there as we go along – in ways that im prove the music.

Some of the well-known chazanim have improvised their liturgical tunes during prayer services. It worked for them, because they knew the music cold – backwards and forwards, inside and out – and so they were able to play around with the little expressions here and there as they went along.

Back to planning our days, food, jobs, todo lists. We start out with structure in our day to day life. That is our anchor, our safety net that we can always have to fall back on. But within that structure, it is fun to play around and make things a little more interesting for ourselves and others. If you thought you’d do the first item on the list and didn’t get to it, then that’s okay. Live in the moment and enjoy the present. Flex ibility and change allow for fun music. With that in mind, may our day-to-day routines and rela tionships be infused with richer harmonies and rhythms.

Miriam Hendeles, M.A., MT-BC is a music thera pist for hospice patients, and a writer for Binah Magazine and other publications. She’s the author of “Mazel Tov! It’s a

FOR THE 50+ FRUM WOMAN

Chani Heyman

Chani Heyman is a parenting coach who has been giv

“Try to make sure your toddler is physically taken care of before schlepping them along on your errands.”

Bubby!” and “Best Foot Forward. One of her passions is advocating for frum women in midlife through a recently launched website of JWOW! www.jewishwomenofwisdom. org where frum midlife women connect, communicate, and grow through online and virtual interaction.

In The K tchen

Peruvian Aji Verde

The most versatile meal prep staple that enhances any meal and turns it from mediocre to fabulous is a kill er sauce. Sauces are the cornerstone of the Prep + Rally meal prepping system. Each week’s meal plan will have at least one sauce in the meal prep, and will be used in at least 2 different ways throughout the week. There is no limit to what can be done with them. You can thicken them up for a dip, thin them out for a dressing or mari nade, and inject flavor into meals all week.

One great sauce can become marinade for chicken or fish; dressing for a salad; topping for a taco or sandwich; dip for a crudite or snack board; flavor booster for roast ed vegetables; spread for bread or a sandwich; dip for nuggets or fritters. You can throw all the ingredients into a jar and use an immersion blender to blend it all up. This way you can pop it straight into your fridge for a later use of your choice, with little mess to clean up!

FAMILY MEAL PREP SYSTEM THE

Do yourself a favor and get this book! Dini Klein is the real deal—a savvy, strategic cook with more smart dinner ideas in one book than most of us will conjure up in a lifetime. As you page through this book she becomes your kitchen bestie, the friend who wants to help you make a plan, save you time, and have a delicious, crowd-pleasing meal on the table in record time. What love about Dini’s recipes is that they sacrifice nothing for speed. Flavor, technique, and variety all run deep here, ensuring that everyone from kids to dinner guests will want to clean their plates again and again.

Finally a guide to delicious, family-friendly meals with less stress, less expense, and minimal time. Complete with essential advice for remixing leftovers, along with dozens of recipes for easy egg dishes, snacks, and sweets, Prep + Rally will alleviate weeknight meal time stress, once and for all.

- Adeena Sussman Author of Sababa: Fresh, Sunny Flavors From My Israeli Kitchen

Dini Klein

photo credit: Dini Klein

Parshas Chayei Sarah BAYVIEW

Chayei Sarah is one of my favorite par shas. Which may be a little dark, considering it’s the parsha of my mother’s yahrtzeit.

When my mother went to the hospi tal 18 years ago, I had only been Shomer Shab bos for six months. My family – mom, dad, and brother – thought I was basically “going through a phase.” When I insisted on sleeping in the hospital on Friday night rather than drive home with my dad, it was clear I wasn’t.

My family wasn’t really surprised I became “religious.” At age twelve, I insisted my parents join a synagogue so I could have a Bat Mitzvah. In Reform tradition, the Bat Mitz vah reads from the Torah . . . and her parents make a speech. It was this public speaking part that almost put the kabash on the whole event.

But my parents rallied and gave their speeches. I still read my mother’s speech often, since it feels like she could be talking to me on any day of my adult life:

I am SO VERY proud of you. I tried to instill our Jewish heritage in your heart and in your soul. I tried to teach you the traditions of past generations. You chose a new path, to em brace our religion with your mind. You set this goal for yourself with strong determination and dedication and have achieved it. It has not been a peaceful route, but it was the right one.

You have linked the past and present and have led me along the roadisrael to the future with you. I hope you will always set high goals, and whatever challenges befall you, you will have the strength you show today.

And that’s why I love Parshas Chayei Sarah. It’s the story of my mother.

Chayei Sarah – “The Life of Sarah” – is an interesting name for a Torah portion that starts with someone’s death. But the real story of who someone is best understood by seeing what happens in their passing.

Avraham insists on finding the perfect burial place for his precious wife Sarah. My fa ther, being a man of his generation, is someone I never saw cry – until my mother died. And I never saw him pay such attention to anything as he did when we were trying to figure out the right way to bury and eulogize my mother.

The Parsha continues with the story of Sarah’s son Yitzchak finding his match. It was my mom’s death that inspired my brother to explore Jewish life. And within a year of her passing - my mother, not Sarah - both of her children were religious.

comes from a line in the song Aishet Chayil –which some say is the eulogy Avraham gave for Sarah.

A G-d-fearing

woman, she should be praised.

The seminary was run by Rebbetzin De nah Weinberg, wife of Aish HaTorah founder Noah Weinberg. Most of us at the school did not grow up “religious.” But she always told us we needed to thank our parents, because what they taught us, the way they brought us up, helped shape us to become people who could make the decision to become frum.

My brother and I both spent that sum mer learning in Israel. The following year I left my job to spend a year learning in a seminary called EYAHT. EYAHT is an acronym that

I thank my mother for being the Aish et Chayil, the G-d fearing woman that she was. Which was clear even in our last conversation before her death.

Nechama Leibowitz says Sarah Imeinu’s death had a tremendous impact on our lives today. The first is that her being buried in Hebron established our link to the land of Isra el. Secondly, Yitzchak finding a wife was a key step in the lineage of the Jewish people.

Not only that, but it established the power of a woman. Chayei Sarah tells us that it wasn’t until Yitzchak brought Rivkah to Sarah’s tent and married her that he was consoled after his mother.

For my mother’s yahrtzeit, I plan on being in the land of Israel, visiting Our Mother Sarah. I’ll miss my niece’s Hebrew birthday, when she officially becomes a Bat Mitzvah. For her English birthday, we’re celebrating with a movie night – watching “Fiddler on the Roof.”

And for that legacy – of a daughter and granddaughter wanting to be connected to their Jewish heritage at age twelve - I give cred it to my mother. May the neshama of Yehudit Nechama bat Hirsh have an aliyah.

Tra-di-tion!

Shabbat Shalom!

Liane Pritikin is a marketing executive living in Los An geles. In her free time she enjoys writing, giving Dvar To rahs, and spending time with family and friends.

Liane Pritikin

“...Rebbetzin Denah Weinberg… always told us we needed to thank our parents, because what they taught us, the way they brought us up, helped shape us to become people who could make the decision to become frum.”

“I still read my mother’s speech often, since it feels like she could be talking to me on any day of my adult life.”

Hashem’s gift to Los Angeles –Fryman Canyon

Michelle Gurstein

On a recent Sunday, I had the fortunate oppor tunity to visit one of my favorite Southern California destinations, Fryman Canyon. The lower canyon loop is 3 miles and takes me about an hour round trip. With my Spotify and earbuds in place, I took off for an hour of uninterrupted glorious views of the valley and perfect weather to match. The temperature was in the 70’s and 80’s and there was a beautiful breeze in the air.

I often feel fortunate to live in Los Angeles. The close proximity to the beach, snow, desert and moun tains make it ideal. I also love the Frum, Jewish Com munity in the Valley. The abundance of shuls, schools, shiurim, restaurants, shopping, and a true feeling of Am Yisrael permeate. Recently, I have been focusing on the disadvantages of living here. High rates of crime and homelessness, smog, extraordinary home prices, extreme heat waves, Kanye West and his anti-Semitic rage, and coyotes roaming in my neighborhood, it is of ten easy to focus on the negative.

Fryman Canyon helps put things back into per spective and bring me back to reality. Fryman attracts everyone, from various walks of life. All Angelinos have a place to go and relax and enjoy the California sun. The fact that people of all ethnic backgrounds, re ligions, kids, dogs, bikers, etc… all come together to en joy a gift of nature from Hashem is truly a gift.

When Covid hit hard and my beloved Total Woman Gym closed (another victim of Covid), I was grateful to have Fryman as a respite from quarantining. A place to go, exercise and unwind. Whether I am walk ing with my spouse, kids, friends or even alone, I enjoy this hour of being out in nature and the opportunity to work out. I appreciate that there is free parking, a semiclean bathroom at the ready, and is centrally located in Studio City.

Kids are often taught the words “Thank you Hashem for ________”, but today, among many other blessings, I want to say, “Thank you Hashem for Fryman Canyon”.

Deeper Jewish Thoughts

The Secret to Genuine Growth

Rabbi Shmuel Reichman

Michelangelo was once asked: “How is it that you create such wondrous sculptures and works of art? How can something so innovative and ingenious emanate from mere mortal hands?” Without skipping a beat, Michelangelo responded: “Before I even begin my work, the sculpture is already complete within the marble block. My job is simply to discover it, and then chisel away the superfluous material.”

The dormant potential already exists beneath the surface; the job of the artist is simply to discover that which is hidden within, and then transform the concealed into the revealed.

Your Creation Story

This idea touches upon a deep truth within Jewish thought. Like Adam HaRishon, every single one of us has our own unique creation story. The Gemara (Niddah 30b) dis cusses the enigmatic events surrounding our formation, the initial stage of our own cre ation story. The Gemara explains that when you were just a fetus, you were in a perfect and transcendent state of being; a malach (angel) taught you kol haTorah kulah (all of Torah), and you experienced the entirety of reality with a crystal-clear lens. However, the Gemara continues with an anticlimactic punch (literally): just before you were born, this malach struck you on the mouth, causing you to forget everything you learned.

Two obvious questions arise:

• Why does the malach make you forget what you’ve learned?

• And more importantly, if he’s going to cause you to forget it, why even teach it to you in the first place?

Recreating Your Torah

As we previously developed, the deep meaning behind this process is elucidated by the Arizal, Ramchal, Vilna Gaon, and many other Jewish thinkers. They explain that every process contains three stages: The first stage is the high, the inspiration, an experience of perfection and clarity. Next comes the second stage, a complete fall, a loss of everything that was experienced in the first stage. Then we have the third stage, a return to the perfec tion of the first stage.

The Vilna Gaon explains the Gemara in Niddah 30b according to this very model. When the Gemara describes the fetus learning kol haTorah kulah, it isn’t referring to basic “Chumash with Rashi.” Rather, this refers to the deepest realms of Torah, to a transcendent level of Torah that lies far beyond this world. This Torah is the very root of reality, and you were granted complete understanding of its every detail. Not only were you shown this level of Torah, but you also learned your specific share of Torah - you were shown your unique purpose in the world, and how your unique role fits into the larger scheme of the human story as a whole. You were given a taste of your own perfection, of what you could, should, and hopefully will become.

the womb, what’s ingrained within us. The Torah is already there at a subconscious level, now we must invest the effort to build and express it into this world. This explains an interesting Gemara (Megillah 6b) which says that if someone claims that he exerted himself in learning, but has failed to succeed, do not believe him. Likewise, if he claims to have put no effort into his learning, but has succeeded regardless, you should similarly not believe him. Only someone who says that he exerted himself in his learning and succeeded should be believed. The Vilna Gaon raises a fascinating question: The wording of the Gemara is “yagatiu matzasi: if he exerted himself and succeeded.” However, the word metziah doesn’t mean to succeed, it means to find! Shouldn’t the Gemara have used a word such as asisi, pa’alti, or hitzlachti, which refer to accomplishment or achievement? The Vilna Gaon explains this according to the aforementioned idea. Genuine learning isn’t about achievement, it’s about finding that which already exists within your subconscious, that which you learned while in the womb.

“...why do we crave wisdom, greatness, significance, and perfection? Because we have tasted it before, in the womb! We were all once in this perfect state, we tasted it, and now we crave to experience it once again.”

This same idea lies at the heart of the classic conceptual debate between the world views of Plato and John Locke. Locke claimed that the human mind begins as a blank slate, and that a human being is then imprinted upon and molded through everything he or she encounters and experiences throughout life. Plato, however, quoting Socrates, believed that everyone is born with the knowledge of everything embedded deep within. Therefore, the job of a teacher is not to impart novel information, but to help the student come to understand on his own what he already knows deep within himself. This is why the word “educate” comes from the Latin word which means to “take out” or “draw forth,” because teaching is the act of drawing out the dormant potential from within each student.

Understanding Our Yearnings

To take this one step further, let us consider the concept of desire. As humans, we all have cravings and yearnings. However, these cravings tend to be limited to that which we have already experienced. For example, many people crave pizza, ice cream, steak, and other delicious foods. But this is only because we have tasted them before. I don’t know anyone who craves kosher bugs such as locust, even though in certain Asian countries, bugs are served as delicacies. This is because we only yearn for foods that we have tasted before. Think about this: do you crave anything that you haven’t tasted before? Do you crave the remarkable cuisine called “yabagaloola”? Of course not, because it doesn’t exist, and we can only crave something that we have previously tasted. If so, why do we crave wisdom, greatness, signifi cance, and perfection? Because we have tasted it before, in the womb! We were all once in this perfect state, we tasted it, and now we crave to experience it once again.

Living With Purpose

Most importantly, though, when the malach struck you, you didn’t lose this Torah; rather, you lost access to it. Instead of disappearing, this knowledge and clarity became buried deep within your subconscious. The reason is as follows: What you received in the womb wasn’t real, it was merely a gift; something unearned and undeserved. The goal of life is to come into this world and rebuild all that you experienced and understood while in the womb. However, this time, it will be real, because you have built it yourself. In essence, your job in this world is not to create yourself, but rather to recreate yourself; to re-attain your original state of perfection, as you were shown by the malach. This time, however, it must be done through free will, by choosing to become great. Only by over coming challenge and difficulty, only by asserting your willpower, can you fulfill your true potential. In essence, our entire life is a story of teshuva - returning to our original, higher, and true self.

Learning or Recognizing?

Perhaps this explains why we often feel a sense of recognition when we hear a deep thought or profound insight. Instead of feeling as though we are learning it for the first time, everything just “clicks”, almost as if we already knew the idea. This is because we do already know it. We’re not learning, we’re rediscovering what we already learned in

Chazal tell us that when you leave this world, you will meet three malachim. One angel will ask you: “Where are your mitzvos?,” the second angel will ask you: “Where are your aveiros?” and the last angel will ask you: “Where is your Torah?” Although the first two questions make sense, the third one is puzzling. After all, learning Torah is a mitzvah, and should therefore be included within the first angel’s question! Why then is it a separate, unique question? The Vilna Gaon adds a chilling detail to this story: when you see this third malach, you will recognize him, as he is the same malach who taught you kol haTorah kulah in the womb, who showed you your potential in this world. Now, he is here to greet you as you leave this world and to ask: Where is your Torah? I gave it to you in the womb for free, but did you build it yourself? Did you make it your own? Did you fulfill your purpose in this world? May we be inspired to bring our own Torah into the world and fully express our unique purpose.

a year studying at Harvard as an Ivy Plus Scholar. He currently lives in Chicago with his wife and son where he is pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago. To enjoy more of Rabbi Reichman’s content, to contact him, or to learn more about his services, visit his website: ShmuelReichman.com

Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is a bestselling author, international speaker, and the CEO of Self-Mastery Academy. He is also a business, executive, and leadership coach, with a unique approach based on Torah values and principles. His bestselling book, The Journey to Your Ultimate Self, serves as an inspiring gateway into deeper Jewish thought. After obtaining his BA from Yeshiva University, he received Semicha from Yeshiva University’s RIETS, a master’s degree in education from Azrieli Graduate School, and a master’s degree in Jewish Thought from Bernard Revel Graduate School, and then spent

“The Torah is already there at a subconscious level, now we must invest the effort to build and express it into this world.”