October 19, 2023

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LA Hatzalah Volunteer Helps on El Al Flight

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A Historic Night: The Largest Midnight Selichot Gathering in L.A.

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Los Angelenos in support and pg solidarity with Israel

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Dear Readers,

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i Ka’amcha Yisroel! Although we share some photos in this issue, there is no way to fully describe the awakening of the Jewish people during the most tragic of times. It is a feeling, with no adequate description. And I know we are all feeling it across the world. When it came time to begin preparing for this issue, I was stuck on that first Monday and Tuesday, completely immobile with intense grief, a mix of absolute shock and numbness. Who cares about a stupid newspaper? How can we go on with life? How can we do anything mundane? How can we work and go about our days? Our world is stopped! Stuck in the thickest darkness like in Makkas Bechoros. We cannot move! We cannot breathe! But I had no choice and I had to work my scheduled shifts in the hospital. I have never moved so slowly as I did that first day, barely putting one foot in front of the other, going through the motions, but my heart was stuck in the heaviest of fogs. There was a beautiful vigil at Cedars Sinai arranged by Rabbi Weiner on that first day. Seeing others shed some tears, many of them not Jewish, all of us singing Acheinu and Ani Maamin together, created that first tiny crack in my numb and shocked heart, a sliver through that thick solid fog. I could not control myself, and I spent another sleepless night watching and reading the news. On that second day, I was caring for an elderly Jewish man who had chosen to transition to end-of-life care. Though he was not observant, his family requested a visit from the hospital Rabbi, and one of the intern chaplains came. The room was filled with friends and family. The Rabbi put on a kippah and tefillin on my patient. The family took photos with huge smiles on their faces, happy to be able to share in this special moment. My patient repeated after the Rabbi, word for word, the Hebrew bracha for tefillin and a sentence of vidui. My tears started to come. How lucky is this man that he gets the chance to say vidui? How many hundreds of Jews had no chance? Had no time? Were taken from this world so brutally without a chance to even think! Then the chaplain began to sing loudly in Hebrew. I’m sure he chose a song that he thought the non-observant would recognize. “Osei Shalom Bimrobav, hu ya’asei shalom aleinu v’al kol yisroel…” And that’s the moment my soul burst open and so did the sobbing, and I had to leave the room. For all of us, those first two days were the heaviest. And then I, and many of us in Israel and the U.S., began to sense a shift. I heard a description that when you squeeze a lemon, the product is a sour lemon juice. But our nation is an olive, being pressed and squeezed so very tightly, so that the purest goodness and the holiness of olive oil is being extracted. When we are going through the hardest times, the best comes out in Am Yisroel, not the worst. Usually in life, for others, it’s the opposite.

For many of us, this is the first in our lifetime that we’ve seen such tragedy or felt this impending sense of doom. Many fear for what is still to come. For a few, they’ve seen this before, this repeat of history, that some may have thought would be “never again.” Two of my childhood friends lost their 97-year-old grandmothers last week, both Holocaust survivors. These two amazing righteous women, who have each built enormous beautiful Jewish families, both passed away on the first weekend of the tragedy, never even knowing or hearing of the massacre in Israel. I cannot help but think this was more than coincidence, that they should never know that an atrocity of this size can happen twice in their lifetime or that they should never see it again happening to their people. They were saved from this pain. In this week’s Parshas Noach, children learn that two by two, every species in the animal kingdom, marched into that teiva in pairs. They all lived on the same level of the teiva, where Noach would care for them daily. Prey and predator, all different species, lived harmoniously in that teiva for a very long time, never knowing when the flood would cease, and they could roam the earth freely. I cannot help but feel that every Jew within our species, regardless of your observance, your background, which sector you’re from, which country, or which nationality has been brought together like in that teiva. And we have worked together harmoniously like never before. The amount of chesed is indescribable. The way that all Jews around the world have mobilized to pack supplies to those who have been expelled from the south of Israel, the protective equipment purchased and sent in enormous duffles to the IDF, the toys sent to children who are stuck at home in Jerusalem, the Tehillim and intensified Torah learning all over the world, the list can go on and on. The chareidi women showing up at bus stops to say Tehillim where reservists are boarding the bus to return to the IDF, the hundreds of men who sit and hand-make pair after pair of tzitzit to pass out to the IDF soldiers, the ones visiting the army bases to raise the morale of the soldiers, the thousands of Israelis who have taken into their homes the families from the south, the list goes on and on. Each and every Jew is a light that can spread flame to flame, instead of ever diminishing, it grows stronger and stronger with each additional flame that is lit. When you look at each and every act, one must exclaim Mi K’amcha Yisroel! May Hashem protect every single soldier, watch over them, and bring them home safely. May Hashem answer each and every one of our tefillos and every perek of Tehillim said. May Hashem provide us with a collective healing after the mourning. May Hashem comfort all of us. May Hashem bring the ultimate geulah. May Hashem provide blessing and yeshuos for all of you and all of Klal Yisroel. Am Yisroel Chai.

Ariela

Yoel Halpern

PUBLISHER publisher@thelajewishhome.com

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www.TheLAJewishHome.com The LA Jewish Home is an independent biweekly magazine. Opinions expressed by writers are not necessarily the opinions of the publisher or editor. All submissions become the property of The LA Jewish Home and may be edited for publication. Pictures may be modified at our discretion to conform to standards of modesty in dress. The Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any advertised product or business advertised within.

Shabbos Zemanim Friday, October 20 Parshas Noach Candlelighting: 5:54 pm Havdallah: 6:50 pm Rabbeinu Tam: 7:24 pm

Friday, October 27 Parshas Lech Lecha Candlelighting: 5:47 pm Havdallah: 6:43 pm Rabbeinu Tam: 7:17 pm


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OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

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LA Hatzalah Volunteer Helps on El Al Flight

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am a fan of United Hatzalah. Eli Beer and all the volunteers are my superstars, including all the Los Angeles Hatzalah volunteers. Last Monday at 1:00 am, my family and I flew from Israel to Los Angeles on El Al Airlines. About an hour after lift-off, there was a medical emergency. The manag-

er called on the intercom for any doctor. Guess who was flying with us and helped? An LA Hatzalah volunteer of course. Here is a picture. It was just another proud Hatzalah moment. May we only hear good news here and in Eretz Israel Chana Hertzberg

Sukkos Celebrations at Emek

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he unwavering commitment of Emek’s Rebbeim and Moros to provide fun religious activities for their students, even outside of regular school hours, is truly commendable. From Succos parties hosted in their homes to special learning nights like Rabbi Shifman’s Hoshana Rabba gathering, they offer an engaging, enriching environment for the children of Emek. The incorporation of hands-on activities, incentive charts, and rewards for fulfill-

ing mitzvos not only fosters a deeper understanding of Jewish traditions, but also encourages students to apply their Torah studies to their daily routines. This dedication and effort from Emek’s educators play a pivotal role in making Succos a unique and meaningful experience for the students. Additionally, it highlights their profound commitment to Jewish education and community enrichment. Yeyasher kochachem to the Emek Rebbeim and Moros for this holy work.


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A Historic Night: The Largest Midnight Selichot Gathering in L.A.

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n the heart of Los Angeles, history was made on Thursday, September 21st, as close to a thousand voices joined together in unity for a historic midnight Sefardic Selichot service. This remarkable event, the largest recorded Selichot gathering in the history of Los Angeles, showcased the power of community and unity under the banner of Hashem. Never before had so many people, including numerous rabbis and community leaders from different backgrounds, gathered together for this sacred occasion, underscoring the importance of unity. Rabbanim throughout the city and valley, representing various yeshiva backgrounds including Ner Yisrael, Chabad, Beth Medrash Govoa (BMG), Ohr Sameach, Aish Hatorah, Yeshiva University, Chafetz Chayim and various Israeli yeshivas, came together to highlight a purpose that transcended traditional boundaries. No official organization ran the event. Rather, it was run almost exclusively by volunteers and lay leaders. The evening kicked off with a learning session featuring 18 simultaneous classes, providing attendees with a deeper

Boys from Tashbar Yeshiva Katana leading Aneinu’s of Selichot at 1:45am

understanding of Yom Kippur and Unity. The event’s popularity was unmistakable. Mr. Josh Golcheh, an event promoter and session leader, noted, “Tickets sold out within days before the event, and our waiting list surpassed the number of actual attendees. My inbox was inundated with requests, and we could have easily added 1,000 more attendees if there were more space.” Regrettably, due to capacity limitations, numerous individuals had to be turned away. As the clock struck halachic midnight (chatzot), Nessah Synagogue came alive with an atmosphere of togetherness

and devotion with singing of the many prayers in the service. The power of unity was exemplified when the Shema Yisrael prayer was recited in unison by the entire crowd, evoking feelings of exhilaration and bringing tears to many eyes. The melodies sung by the three Chazanim (cantors) spanned across Sefardic Spain, Morocco, Iran, and Jerusalem, illustrating the rich tapestry of cultural backgrounds that came together in harmony. However, the highlight of the night belonged to the young boys from Tashbar Sephardic Yeshiva Ketana, who stayed up

until 2:00 AM to lead the “Aneinu” and “Shomer Israel” prayers in various traditional Sephardic tunes. Their dedication and talent touched the hearts of all those present. “The sight of over 30 community rabbis, alongside communal organizational leaders and a group of 20+ elementary and junior high students, gathered together, was truly beautiful. It symbolized the passing down of traditions and the strong sense of community that binds generations”, said Eman Esmailzadeh, one of the event’s teachers and promoters. When the night ended and the crowds were leaving, impromptu dancing erupted in the hallway amongst rabbanim, organization leaders and attendees singing songs of Achdut and serving Hashem together. After the event, the organizers were sent many messages of appreciation and a desire to continue the spirit of unity through community-wide events. Manny echoed the sentiments with hopes to have a venue that could fit more congregations and organizations, Sefardi and Ashkenazi. A brief video of the event can be found on www.UnityProject.live. To contact the event organizers for future collaborations please email admin@26la.org.

Hollywood producer Saul Blinkoff Addresses the learning session crowd for a keynote address. Businessman / Philanthropist Roy Rayn leading a learning session.

Rabbi Asher Brander from Link-LA Teaching a Session

The Chazanim for the evening L-R: R’ Mordechai Arbibo, R’ Daniel Cavalier & R’ Shai Elias

R’ Yitz Jacobs of Aish LA addressing overflow learning crowd.

Rabbi Asher Brander teaching a group

Rabbanim from different Yeshiva backgrounds unite in attendance.

R’ Avi Stewart of Westwood Kehilla leading a session on Psychology and Torah


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Adina Gres

Rabbi Asher Brander

Business owner, financial and personal coach, inspirational speaker

Rov of LINK Kollel, Rebbe in Machon Bais Yaakov High School

Spirituality doesn’t have seasons. I know the popular behavior is to think only of spirituality in the realm of Rosh Hashana through Succos, or my “favorite” one is when people get spiritual during the nine days. As Torah Jews, our obligation is to keep the momentum alive and kicking throughout the year. Experiencing the awe of Tishrei is a gift but should no less be kept there. It is within our normal lives that we need spirituality to keep us afloat and growing. Spirituality exists in day to day seemingly mundane activities. When I have errands to do, and a tight schedule to do it on, and I find the best parking spot ever, or somehow there is no traffic I say thank you Hashem for making this day easier. When I leave my office thinking there was no mail today which means no checks, and a wire shows up in my bank and I can cover payroll, I stop and bless Hashem right there and then. Spirituality means the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or Soul as opposed to material or physical things. When you volunteer to make a meal for Bikor Cholim or help out a neighbor so she can run and get her kids without waking up a sleeping baby, these are the spiritual practices you are doing. Practice is the key word. You keep your spirituality alive by practicing spirituality, by keeping Hashem in your day-to-day activities, beyond the norm of prayer of religious practice. Keeping Hashem in your life means thanking him for all things, and for helping his children when you can.

Rabbi JJ Duchman, LCSW Power of YOUth LA

Ironically, I received this question before the massacre - before our world changed. As we left the Yomim Tovim, fear and horror coupled with gevurah (strength), emunah (faith) and chesed (kindness) characterize the gorgeous people that are am yisrael - a nation of non-stop daveners, learners, bakers, fasters, buyers, donors and givers – all for the other. Mi k'amcha Yisrael! We feel so exposed - it’s very uncomfortable. But the road to spiritual growth and avodas Hashem travels through that place called vulnerable. The vulnerable humble person acknowledges faults, admits mistakes, learns from others, expresses gratitude and indebtedness, understands his real challenges, embraces change, revels in self-confrontation, and enjoys the victory of transcendence. Is that not the power and simcha of Yomim Noraim (including Sukkos)? Those most recent days of purity challenge the sensitive person to consider his temporal reality of life: if what we have will not remain, so then why is life not a grand act of futility? And then the Jew figures it out! Surrounded by this brilliant light (ohr makif) of Tefilla, Shofar, Teshuva, Lulav. Sukkah & Simcha, the Jew intuitively senses tachlis hachayim – life’s purpose: Actually life can be forever – for I am a neshama. More delicious than poppers and intoxicating than Glenlivet, Ne’ila becomes the highest high of the year. I taste the sweetness of Chamol & Hallel, of Birkat Kohanim and Tikkuyn Leil. I am honored that Hashem wants me. I want Him. I am a neshama and the best is yet to come. Pettiness is not me. As I dance with the Sefer Torah, I realize I am the Sefer Torah… And then we forget. Inundated by what they call life. And stuff. So how do we hold on? Beyond keeping our commitments (which will give us such joy), we hold on by peering within. We hold on by retaining our vulnerability. We hold on by learning who we are. We engage the conversation with the self. Some call it Mussar; Others call it Chassidus. Just talk to your neshama daily in language that reminds you that you are a neshama. Enjoy!

“How do we keep our spirituality alive when we go back to our normal lives after a month of high holidays?”

The way you do anything is the way you do everything. How do you approach a cold pool? Do you do the toe-dance, making your way in slowly, limb by limb? Or do you plunge right in from the deep end? Everything is connected. It is often tempting to look at things that are not working as planned in isolation and to seek a cure for the symptoms we are experiencing on this basis. However, this approach rarely works in practice, because everything is connected and can be traced back to a root cause, an underlying, usually hidden source. Are there patterns in your life where you just keep repeating the same behavior time and again and then wondering why this happens? Are you falling short at work or in your relationships? It's time to plunge. The apple - was doused in honey, the shofar permeated our insides, and our Davening went deep within. The Sukkah saturated us, dancing with the Torah absorbed us, and every step of the chock-full of joy and inspiration of Tishrei fully immersed us. This is how a Jew rolls, we are not merely spectators, observers, or just learners, our Avodah is immersive and experiential. The way we did Tishrei, is the way we need to do everything. Hence, in Lubavitch on Motzei Simchas Torah, they used to announce ‘V’Yaakov halach l’darko' - Yaakov went on his way. Because every Jew was experiencing this incredible spiritual nourishment and now it's time to "hit the road"; The road that connects Point A; the month of Tishrei, to Point B our day-to-day mundane life (everything). It is soon that these incredible feelings of elevation, fervor, and spirituality, will be put to good use in everything we do. If we can immerse ourselves fully in our daily commitments, jobs, and relationships, as we did over the last month, our lives can be filled with emotional and spiritual bliss. Take the plunge.

Yocheved Gouhari LCSW, Clinical Director at Wellness and Education Group Inc.

When I think about setting goals with my clients, the first priority is that it should be in bite-size pieces. My second is to make goals applicable and pragmatic. This enables my client to reach success and feel accomplished, thereby creating a dopamine rush, and happiness “high.” The third aspect is making it fit in their daily lifestyle. Using these same guidelines, let’s create a plan that allows one to keep that “high” one accomplishes during the High Holidays throughout the year. My humble suggestion is one should strive to keep the goals embedded in their everyday activities. For example, if my goal is to treat individuals with more respect and kindness, I may choose to greet the security officers at the building with a warm smile and a “good morning.” This is a small gesture of being more kind, is easy to accomplish and succeed in, and can be done on most days. Take your “BIG” goal and break it into bite-size pieces. Then, make it applicable to your daily routine. This way, no matter what you did throughout the day, at the end of the day, you feel accomplished because you reached your “bite-size” goal and kept your “high.”


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In a world marked by turmoil and disparity, my fervent prayer is for the triumph of humanity and love. May the world come to recognize the profound beauty that Israel holds, a land I had the privilege of calling home for a year, and a place I eagerly anticipate returning to once again.

Basya Gradon Basya Gradon DRE 01893478 323.447.733 bgradon@compass.com

Let Me Be Your Guide.

Compass is a real estate broker licensed by the State of California and abides by Equal Housing Opportunity laws. License Number [license number to be inserted by region]. All material presented herein is intended for informational purposes only and is compiled from sources deemed reliable but has not been verified. Changes in price, condition, sale or withdrawal may be made without notice. No statement is made as to accuracy of any description. All measurements and square footage are approximate. License Number 01991628, 01527235, 1527365.

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Psychosocial Insights Parshat Noach: Family Dynamics Elan Javanfard

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arshat Noach delves into the story of Noah and the great flood. The central focus of the parsha is the family of Noah, who, together with his wife, three sons, and their wives, survive the deluge aboard the ark. This tight-knit family of eight navigates the challenges of confinement and isolation during their time on the ark, offering us profound insights into familial interactions and their psychological dynamics. Family dynamics refer to the patterns, interactions, and relationships that exist within a family. These dynamics are shaped by various factors, including the personalities, behaviors, communication styles, roles, and values of each family member, as well as external influences such as cultural, societal, economic, and environmental factors. Understanding family dynamics is crucial for comprehending how family members relate to each other, make decisions, and handle conflicts. Many families establish these norms through time, routine, and habit but some make a dedicated effort to discuss these patterns as a family to best ensure a strong family bond. Recently, my family experienced a flood of its own, leading to shifting family dynamics. Prior to Yom Kippur, we experienced the Kapparah of 3:30 a.m. fire alarms and flooding into our condo, leading us to evacuate our home and relocate to a smaller and more confined space than our norm. This event was a prime opportunity to assess the family dynamics and determine if our current situation required an adjusted family system. While our relocation persists, the quote that continues to support me is, “A healthy home is more than a roof over your head; it’s the foundation you created under your feet.” Firstly, the Tevah, ark, can be seen as a metaphor for the family unit, a confined space where individuals must learn to coexist and support one another. This mirrors the dynamics of modern families who often find themselves in close quarters, navigating challenges together. In Psalms 133:1 David HaMelech wrote, “Mah-tov umah-na’im shevet achim gam-yachad - How good and how pleasant it is that brothers dwell together.” Rashi writes that when families live together in harmony, Hashem joins in and lives with them too. In such situations, communication and understanding are key to maintaining harmony and ensuring the well-being of all family members.

Noah’s role as the patriarch of the family carries significant psychological weight. He serves as a source of strength, stability, and guidance, much like a parental figure in any family. Noah’s responsibility to lead, protect, and provide for his family underscores the importance of parental influence on the psychological development and well-being of children. A quote attributed to an unknown other speaks to this well: “The wise parent will offer their children roots and wings: roots to know where home is, and wings to fly off and practice what has been taught to them.” However, the parsha also highlights the challenges of family dynamics. Noach’s son, Cham, behaves disrespectfully towards his father when he discovers him in a compromised state. This incident teaches us that even within frum families, conflicts and strained relationships can arise. It serves as a reminder that no family is immune to tension and discord, and addressing such issues constructively is essential for the well-being of Bayit Neman.

a sense of equity and teamwork. Balance tasks and chores to avoid undue stress and resentment, allowing each family member to thrive in their unique roles. The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home. By focusing on open communication, respect, empathy, and a fair distribution of roles and responsibilities, families can cultivate a positive and nurturing environment conducive to healthy relationships and overall well-being. Ultimately, Parshat Noach invites us to consider the profound impact of family on our lives and the opportunities for growth and redemption that arise within these intricate relationships. By recognizing the significance of family dynam-

Respect and Empathy: Cultivate an environment of respect and empathy. Treat each family member with kindness, consideration, and understanding. Recognize and accept individual differences and perspectives. Empathize with one another’s feelings and experiences, fostering a sense of mutual support. As indicated in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Father 2:4) “Do not judge your fellow man until you have reached his place.” Balanced Roles and Responsibilities: Establish clear and fair roles and responsibilities within the family. Ensure that everyone contributes according to their abilities and capacities, promoting

__________________________________

Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, a weekly blog. He lives in the Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and two children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.

Shalom Bayit

Through the Parsha

Here are three concise tips for fostering healthy family dynamics: Open Communication and Active Listening: Encourage open and honest communication within the family. Create a safe space where everyone feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Practice active listening, giving each family member undivided attention and validating their perspectives. Always remember, listening does not mean waiting to speak.

ics, we can embark on a path of personal and collective transformation, much like Noah and his family did in the face of an unprecedented challenge. A harmonious family is built on understanding, trust, and the willingness to adapt. Balancing roles and responsibilities with love and care makes all the difference. May we heed the lessons from Noah and his family to create a healthy, stable, and future, free of floods, for all our families and Bnei Yisrael around the world.

Rabbi Nir Yacoby

Parshat Bereishit: A Mind of Her Own

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guy whispers to his She’s not that like-minded after all - Adam comes matchmaker “You said to terms with the fact that Eve has a mind of her she’s beautiful but she looks like own. Disappointment is the gap between reality and the back of the bus!” “Why are you whispering?” interrupts the expectations. Reality you cannot change; expectations you can. Accept that your wife has a mind of matchmaker. “She’s also deaf!” During the dating process the her own for your shalom bayit. matchmaker, your parents, and you yourself did a lot of research so you come to expect your wife to be like-minded. Now, well into your marriage, you find yourself upset with your wife often because you expect her to either say something she doesn’t or not to say something she in fact does. Did God not say “One Flesh”? Adam in ‫ בראשית‬has had a similar experience. He’d been searching for a soulmate among all creatures. When he finally found the one he called her Isha “for she has been derived from Ish.” Yet, later on he changed her name to Eve. _________________________________________________________________ Rabbi Nir and his wife Atrian give regular classes on Shalom Bayit. His popular 3-minute podcast is funny and draws Shalom Bayit ideas from the Torah portion of the week. To register: ShalomInComics@gmail.com


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OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Reflective Poem on Parshas Noach

Now the inhabitants of earth were wild and unruly. Hashem seeing man beyond rehabilitation did regret truly Nothing to do but to start again The weapon of choice rain and more rain. He instructed Noach to build an Ark But before the world would turn dark, To bring aboard two of every creature A pair of each living thing in nature. In this way the planet can continue to be biologically diverse While the rest of the world will completely submerge. The world once again seemed without form After forty days of the destructive rain storm I guess the fish didn’t sin. Saved as they were by their scales and fins. With a giant hanging on And the unicorn’s mate gone This incredible story Sounds more myth than history. Noach to be steward on the onboard zoo But did he appreciate his personal rescue? When the rains ended all looked bleak Till a dove carried hope, a branch in its beak Oh ecstatic moment, shall we bring an offering Or something else appreciably sobering Instead Noach behaved like a lowly sod Forgetting about his salvation, his Lord, his G-d. He planted a vineyard, then took to drink How much lower could he sink? His sons too behaved abysmally Compromising their father’s dignity. Was this the elite worth saving? The “tzaddik of his generation” I wouldn’t care to meet the rest If he exemplified the very best. Still, with a rainbow of lovely hues Hashem swore That He wouldn’t rain such destruction anymore Yet questions remain as we embark Didn’t God know this would happen from the start?

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Shmira Public Safety is a registered 501(c)3 Not for Profit Organization _______________________________ Susan Vorhand holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Depth Psychology. She particularly enjoys exploring psychology and spirituality within Judaism. With her Soul-Centered approach to healing, she has lectured and facilitated programs regionally and internationally. She is the author of the book The Mosaic Within: A Healing Alchemy of Self and Soul. She enjoys the Arts in many forms, including painting, mosaics, poetry and songwriting, metalworking, and willow weaving.

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Tools For Countering the Horror in Eretz Yisroel Within the Home and Classroom Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox

Talking things through helps ground and center us so that we can then attend responsibly to children.

T

he stunned sadness that is circulating throughout the Jewish world right now has left us with an aching wound. The images, the statistics, and the timing of the attacks on our loved ones, our brothers, and our sisters in the Holy Land, are painful to envision and are very frightening. As the rest of the world looks on from a safe distance and forms its opinions, the Jewish people are, collectively, right there in Eretz Yisroel in our hearts, our minds, and in our souls. A discerning adult will pause, look inward, and connect with their thoughts, their emotions, their visceral reactions, and their spiritual strife. We adults must also formulate a discerning and sensitive response to our young ones, our children, and our students. Please consider and utilize the following tools and pointers in addressing children, because it is most important to speak with them, to model for them your best wholesome responses, and to guide them through their own reactions.

1. Be self-aware. It is normal to react to tragedy, and it is not particularly normal to have no reaction. Notice your own thoughts, feelings, and internal activity. It is common to feel scared, sad, confused, stuck, angered, and worried. There are very few reactions that are “abnormal” during abnormal times like this. Share your reactions with your spouse, a close friend, or a trusted peer. Talking things through helps ground and center us so that we can then attend responsibly to children. 2. Speak with your children but listen more than you talk. Their reactions are real and are likely age-appropriate, so do not try to talk them out of what they express nor give them glib assurance that there is nothing to worry about. Validate, assuring them that their fear, sadness, or worry is directly related to the scary and horrible news that they are hearing. Normalize their reactions for them. 3. Soothe your child. Console them gently that you are their supportive, car-

ing adult and will guide them through this. Do not unload onto your child your own fears and worries. Focus on them and their reactions. Avoid making promises that you cannot guarantee. Agree to keep them informed as you learn more, and prompt them to share with you whatever they hear. The classroom and playground are often arenas for distortions and inaccuracies so remain their primary source of accurate updates. 4. Research has demonstrated that flooding the mind with images and visual media portraying tragic scenes is very unhelpful, and even disruptive to mood, attention span, and even interpersonal sensitivity. Discour- age a child from gluing themselves to media which will flood them with im- ages that may be difficult to forget or erase. 5. For the Jewish people, our role on the remote “battlefields” is our prayer. Teach your child this, model this, speak with them about how we pray and what we

focus on as we turn to Hashem to save, to protect, and to heal. Prayer is an essential tool for grounding the soul as well as the mind and emotions. 6. Love and appreciate your children and your family, especially at a time of tragedy. When the world does not feel safe and secure, your home – and your classroom, too – can provide structure, encouragement, and increased feelings of well-being. Make use of your finest skills as a caring, compassionate adult. May our efforts to be supportive of one another at this time augment our fervent prayers that Bnei Yisroel will soon be safe. ___________________________________

Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is the director of Chai Lifeline’s Crisis Services team. During this difficult time, we encourage anyone in need to contact Chai Lifeline Crisis Services at 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org.

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OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

16

‫ה‬ ‫ע‬ ‫ו‬ ‫לם‬

‫י‬ ‫נ‬ ‫צ‬ ‫ל‬

‫ה‬ ‫ת‬ ‫ו‬ ‫רה‬

‫בז‬ ‫כ‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ת‬

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OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

L I V E S H I U R I M A C R O S S N O R T H A M E R I C A ( I N F O R M AT I O N )


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

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How to Help Kids Develop a Healthy Relationship With Technology Naomi Lewis Afriat, LCSW

C

hana, 15, sat on the edge of the couch fidgeting and looking uncomfortable. Chana’s mother thought her daughter needed to talk to a therapist after she’d caught her looking at inappropriate content online. I started off our session by asking Chana about herself, her hobbies, and her interests. Once Chana seemed more comfortable, I gently brought up the reason for her being there, and asked Chana if we could talk about it. As she realized that I wasn’t going to berate or shame her, she opened up about her struggles. “I want to stop, but it’s so hard,” she said. “Once I start looking at it, I can’t stop.” Chana was addicted to this content. Her schoolwork and relationships were suffering. She was not in a good headspace, to say the least. She wanted things to be different. But how? Unfortunately, Chana is not alone in her struggle with technology. According to one survey, 44% of teens reported that they spend too much time on their phones, while 78% check their phones at least once every hour. Adolescents are on their phones an average of 7 hours and 22 minutes per day, which is nearly twice the amount that the average adult spends on their phone every day. To make matters worse, every hour there are 600 teens who discover inappropriate content on the internet. According to Patrick Carnes, founder of IITAP, The International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals, 200 of those teens will pursue it and develop a problematic relationship with inappropriate content online, and 85 of those will be under the age of 11. In my practice, I come across all sorts of teens and young adults who are having a hard time establishing boundaries with technology. From secular teens who are given cell phones at 13, to girls at Bais Yaakov schools who buy “burner phones” and hide them from their parents, they are all having difficulties navigating this minefield. But this issue is not out of our control. By taking a few key steps, we can help our children develop healthy relationships with technology. Here’s how. 1. Model the Behavior You Want to See Our children model our behavior. If you are always on your cell phone around your children, your children will see that and likely end up doing the same. Instead, you can set up no phone zones at certain times of the day, like during dinner, and not allow phones in the bedroom. You and your children can lock up your phones and tablets every night before you go to bed and take them out in the morning. Thankfully,

we have Shabbat to disconnect, but we need to do this at times during the week as well. If you find yourself struggling to control your own phone use, books like “The Digital Diet” and “How to Break Up With Your Phone” can be helpful resources. 2. Spend Time With Your Kid Online Along with keeping the family computer in a public area of your home, and having filters installed, another good idea is to engage with your child or teen when they’re using it. Sit down with them and show interest in what they’re looking at. Are they playing a game on the computer? Cheer them on. Are they looking up information for school? Suggest websites they could use. Just make sure that you don’t judge them or tell them they are wasting time. Don’t preach to them or tell them what they could or should be doing instead. Jump into their world so they want to include you. This establishes trust and opens up communication. 3. Have a Conversation About Inappropriate Content It’s important to talk to your teen about inappropriate content they may stumble across. Demonstrate that you understand that they might be curious about these things, and explain gently that this isn’t real, and that you don’t want them to learn about these things from the internet. If you’re comfortable having an age appropriate conversation around healthy physical intimacy, you can. If not, you can just say that when they are older you will explain this to them. Most importantly, don’t shame them, because it will create an unhealthy association with this topic. We want to foster a healthy attitude towards intimacy, not one of shame and secrecy. Remind them that they are normal for wanting to know more about it. Remember, privacy isn’t the same as secrecy. Secrecy carries shame, privacy carries dignity. We want to demonstrate that this is a topic that we talk about privately and in a dignified way, instead of secretively and shamefully. Encourage them to come to you with any questions they have about it, and have age appropriate conversations. 4. Download Timers for the Devices When you go to a nutritionist, one of the first things they have you do is keep a food journal to track what you eat. When you go to a debt counselor, they ask you to write down your debts. When it comes to technology, you need to figure out how much time your child or teen is spending on devices and start taking note of how much time is spent online playing games,

browsing etc. You can go into their iPhone or iPad and see how many hours they spend on it by going to Settings > Screen Time. If you have an Android phone, go into Settings and then hit Digital Wellbeing & Parental Controls. You can also look for time tracking apps. Once you figure out this information, have a conversation with your child. Let’s say they spent 3 hours and 42 minutes on their cell phone one day. The next day, say, “Can we bring that down to 3 hours today?” Breaking a habit won’t happen overnight. Small steps lead to big changes. If your child is resistant, decreasing computer time even by 5 minutes a day might seem slow, but will be easier for your child to adapt to and will slowly wean him or her off the internet. 5. Do Something Interactive With Them Offline Listen for opportunities to do anything at all with them offline, even if it’s inconvenient for you. If we want them to spend less time online or on their phones, we will need to fill that time with other things. Does your teen want to bake cook-

ies at 9 o’clock at night? Find the cookie mix and do it. Does your child want to check out a new playground? Go for it. Have they expressed an interest in a particular hobby or instrument? Make an effort to help them explore that. You can also look up local activities and invite them to join you. Don’t expect your child to be thrilled about being it; it’s normal for your kid to get annoyed because they may be used to spending so much time online. It’s hard to compete with technology. But if you spend a few minutes every week researching fun new things to do around town, you can teach your child or teen to learn to live life a different way, without being dependent on their phones. Get them involved in exciting and enjoyable real life experiences, and you will help them improve their mental, spiritual, and physical health. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be well worth your time. ____________________________________________ Naomi Lewis Afriat, LCSW, is a C-SAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and she has a virtual and in-person practice in Los Angeles and is licensed in CA, NV, FL, VA, NJ, TX, CT, NC & NY. You can reach her at Intomeyousee.org or naomilewislcsw@gmail.com.


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OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

20

Stories

Rebbe’s

Why did Rabbi Yehoshua Drink the Wine? Rabbi Mordechai Dubin Gamliel who served his guests? Didn’t Avraham Avinu run to serve his guests regardless of who they were or what they looked like? If Avraham could serve his guests, then Raban Gamliel could certainly serve his guests!” Rabbi Tzadok was sitting nearby and heard the discussion between Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua. Rabbi Tzadok turned to Rabbi Yehoshua and asked him surprisingly, “Why are you using Avraham Avinu as your example? I have a better example! Doesn’t Hashem serve us all the time? He causes the wind to blow, the clouds to rise, the rain to fall, the plants to grow and He makes sure that every person and every creature has exactly what it needs.” Rabbi Yehoshua nodded affirmatively and agreed with Rabbi Tzadok that his example was better. Yes, I believe in all these things,

So every day, these words I’ll sing—

wine from Raban Gamliel? 4. What are some of the ways that Hashem takes care of us? _____________________________________________ Rabbi Mordechai Dubin is a Rebbe at Gindi Maimonides Academy. He is the author of three illustrated children’s books, I’ll Never Forget Yerushalayim, I Believe, and I Know 6; and has produced four Musical CD’s for children, I Made This World For you, Let My People Go, Al Shelosha Devarim, and Hashem is Always With Me. Dubin

I believe b’emunah sheleimah.

I’ll place these words into my heart,

And with these words each day I’ll start— Ani ma’amin b’emunah sheleimah…

T

he Thirteen Principles of our faith. It’s the bedrock of our emunah, what all Jewish parents want to transmit to their children. Now, with this groundbreaking book and song, kids can actually learn and know all the Thirteen Principles…by heart! And what’s more, they’ll love learning and singing about them, too!

Rabbi Mordechai Dubin, a veteran rebbi, songwriter, and musician, knows how to reach children. Through music, song, and genuine heart, Rabbi Dubin instills in kids many fundamental concepts in a way that is enjoyable, fun, and everlasting.

I Believe!

The wedding was beautiful. The guests were sitting and enjoying the delicious food and the delightful music. Many great rabbis and important people were in attendance because this was the wedding of the son of Raban Gamliel, the Nasi, the leader of the Jewish people. Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua were sitting at their table when suddenly Raban Gamliel approached with a bottle of wine in his hand. He asked Rabbi Eliezer if we would like some wine and he politely responded, “No thank you.” Raban Gamliel turned to Rabbi Yehoshua and asked him if he would like some wine and he said, “Yes please.” Raban Gamliel poured him a tall glass of wine. Afterward, Raban Gamliel went to another table to offer the guests some wine. Rabbi Eliezer turned to Rabbi Yehoshua and said surprisingly, “How could you do such a thing?” Rabbi Yehoshua had no idea what Rabbi Eliezer was talking about. “What did I do?” he asked unknowingly. “How did you let Raban Gamliel serve you wine?” he asked. “He is the Nasi, the leader of the Jewish people. Do you think it was respectful for you to allow him to serve you?” Rabbi Yeshoshua responded confidently. “Don’t we find in the Torah someone greater than Raban

Questions for Discussion Why do think many great Rabbis and important people would be at the wedding of Raban Gamliel’s son? 2. Why didn’t Rabbi Eliezer accept any wine from Raban Gamliel? 3. Why did Rabbi Yehoshua accept

Attention all Kids

Send us your PHOTOS!

Tell us what you’ve been doing to help our brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisroel

Sometimes it can be embarrassing to say sorry because you feel so bad for what you did once you realize that you did something wrong. Ezra Nishli, 9 years old ______________ Because then you are admitting you did something wrong and it hurts your ego. Bracha Akhamzadeh, 14 years old ______________

This story is found in Kedushin 32b

1.

Q:

Why is it so hard to say sorry?

If you want to share a story, recipe, D’var Torah, or something creative with us, we would absolutely love it! Please send them in to editor@thelajewishhome.com and write “Kids Section” in the subject line

Because you’re admitting that you did wrong. You’re not telling someone something exciting. Usually when you admit something, it means you’ve done something wrong. Anaelle Halpern, 10 years old

Parsha Trivia Contest

Email us your answers 1. Which parshas are named for people? (6 answers) 2. Where else is 40 days mentioned in the Torah? (5 answers) 3. Where does the number seven appear in this parsha? (4 answers)


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Based on a story told over by Rabbi YY Rubinstein

Daniel Agalar

B

enny Rubinstein, a man in his 30s, faced a daunting challenge. He suffered from keratoconus, a serious eye condition that caused his cornea to distort unevenly. With double vision plaguing him, he knew that he might need a cornea transplant before the age of forty. However, there was a ten-year waiting list for such a procedure, and many doctors warned him that it was only a matter of time before he would go blind. Benny’s eyesight was not just a personal matter; it was his livelihood. He was a photographer, and his ability to see clearly was essential for his work. But despite his circumstances, Benny remained hopeful. One day, Benny found himself on a flight from Manchester to Israel, where he was scheduled to photograph a wedding. His original flight, with a stopover in Berlin, was unexpectedly canceled. Determined not to miss the wedding, Benny swiftly purchased a ticket for the next direct flight from Manchester. He boarded the plane and settled into a seat in the last row. To his surprise and delight, a flight attendant approached him shortly after takeoff and asked if he would like to be upgraded to first class. Benny enthusiastically agreed, grateful for the unexpected upgrade. As he settled into his plush new seat, the man sitting next to him introduced himself as Andrew Fink, an ophthalmologist

from Manchester. As the two struck up a conversation, Dr. Fink discovered that Benny was originally from Gateshead. Intrigued, he shared, “I studied medicine at the University of Newcastle, and during my time there, a rabbi from Gateshead came to teach us Torah. Do you by any chance know Rabbi YY Rubinstein?” Benny couldn’t believe his ears. “He’s my father,” he proudly replied. Dr. Fink was astonished. “Incredible! I loved your father’s classes. He had a profound impact on my life.” Benny then opened up about his medical condition, sharing his bleak prognosis. Dr. Fink listened attentively and asked probing questions. After careful consideration, he delivered surprising news. “Your doctors are mistaken! There is a new procedure that has been developed in the United States and recently approved by the Israeli Health Ministry. It has the potential to heal your eyes.” Benny was stunned by the revelation, but Dr. Fink had more in store. “Your father had a significant influence on my life, and I am forever grateful. I want to perform this procedure for you free of charge.” Several weeks later, Dr. Fink carried out the procedure, successfully restoring Benny’s eyesight. To Benny’s relief, his sight remained stable thereafter. With re-

newed vision, he not only continued his photography career but also embarked on a mission to digitize Talmudic scripts, benefiting thousands of Torah scholars worldwide. Reflecting on this extraordinary turn of events, it became clear that Benny’s father, Rabbi YY Rubinstein, had once enlightened Dr. Fink’s eyes with the depth and meaning of Torah. Now, 34 years later, Dr. Fink reciprocated by bringing clarity and light to Benny’s eyes through the gift of clear vision. This remarkable story serves as a re-

Preschool-Kindergarten Children center

‫נותרו מספר מקומות‬ ‫לגילאי שלוש וחמש‬

310-556-2159 310-536-6376

minder of the power of Torah to inspire and uplift others. Each of us has the ability to share the beauty and wisdom of Torah, bringing immeasurable clarity and light to the world around us. ___________________________________________

Daniel Agalar is the founder of Stories to Inspire, an organization dedicated to sharing curated inspirational stories from renowned Rabbonim. With a widely popular podcast that has surpassed 4 million downloads, Daniel’s passion for spreading positivity shines through. Join their daily Whatsapp broadcast by messaging 310-2101205 or explore over 4,250 stories on their website at www.storiestoinspire.org. The stories can also be accessed on their hotline at 718-400-7145.

OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Blind Faith: A “Chance” Encounter That Changed Everything


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

22

Dear D ni Dini Gres

My husband and I got divorced five years ago, and we are the parents of four children. One of them, our oldest daughter, is now BH engaged, and we are about to plan a wedding. The divorce was not an easy one, but BH we got to a place of shalom and have what I would call a working relationship for the sake of the children. I am worried since we have different tastes and different ideas of what’s important to spend money on for a wedding, that fighting will start again and we have the potential to fight and go to a dark place, and I know that’s the worst thing for our daughter. What can I do to make sure that doesn’t happen and plan this wedding with her father on peaceful terms?

D

ear Reader, Thank you for your question. First, let me say Mazel Tov on this exciting time for your entire family. Exciting, and maybe nerve-wracking, but it’s truly a bracha, so try to enjoy the experience of growing your family, and that your daughter has found someone she chooses to spend her life with and begin a future with. As you may have read in the past, even though you are asking a question that involves you and your ex-husband, I am only going to address you since you’re the one who’s writing

this letter. You can choose to share this with him, but I want to be clear I am answering this for you. I don’t believe in the history of divorce, anyone ever described it using the word easy, so I’m sure you’re in good company. There are many wonderful well-meaning adults who needed to get divorced, and even if the procedural process was simpler than others, it is still a loss of what a future was thought to be, and will always be difficult for the children. I am sorry you had a hard time

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in the beginning, but I am very pleased to know that you and your ex-husband came to the place of shalom. I would safely assume that that was a better decision for both of you to keep your mental health intact, and especially for your precious children. While your daughter is navigating this new journey in her life, she will need the anchor of her parents to lean on. Whether she shares every nuance with you or not, having parents to be able to depend on is priceless and necessary at

the same time. Now is not the time to have unnecessary stress. Even if you’re not sharing it with her, not only will she still pick up on your stress, but you won’t be able to be the rock she needs. I should also mention at this point that your daughter is probably thinking to herself already, somewhere in the recesses of her mind, “What is really going on with my parents and how will my divorced parents navigate what I need for this wedding?” Again, even if she doesn’t share those exact words with you, it is impossible for her not to be thinking about it. Many couples who are married come to this time in their lives with different tastes and opinions of what should or should not happen at a wedding. I believe that it’s more pronounced when being divorced. In this case, you may want to consider using a third party as a mediator. You mentioned you want to put together the wedding on peaceful terms and you don’t want to go back to that dark place. So I would ask you, in response to that, what are you willing to give for that outcome? Is it possible that


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you can come up with a plan that includes your taste and his in different parts of the wedding? Is it possible that when it comes to spending money, you work within your budget and your ex-husband works within his? Start with laying out what is important to you on paper. Make lists of what you feel is needed and what your dreams are for this wedding. Once you have that in front of you, go back and reread your list with a different lens. What are you now willing to give up or adjust if you need to? It is better to do your own internal audit before presenting it, so you are mentally prepared for the worst and yet hoping for the best. I suggest you do this on your own (and ADMISSIONS AND RECRUITMENT COUNSELOR you can suggest it to your ex as well). It’s always better to dissect your own ideas Responsible for recruitment and admissions to all programs of TCLA, including before someone else does. I am not sure advertising, active recruiting, events and managing the admissions process how much your daughter is going to be inthrough graduation, and member of staff for committees and general volved, if she has a say or an opinion that functioning of the college. you are planning on taking into consideration, maybe speak with her as you write S U M M A RY O F R E QU I R E M E N T S : your list. • Bachelor’s degree or higher, Knowledge of Hebrew a plus Since I don’t know your financial sit• Familiarity with feeder schools and Israel partner schools uation, I will offer this advice. You want to • Public speaking/Strong Interpersonal Communication both oral and written keep within a budget that YOU can afford. • Proficiency in Microsoft Office Suite including Word, Excel, Power Point, Outlook. Not what your neighbor or your cousin Able to learn in-house CRM, Admissions, and other systems can afford, but you! In my practice, I have seen many people walk through my door in shambles because they go into debt from We offer a full array of benefits including all major Jewish holidays and shortened making a simcha or building a house they work hours erev Shabbos and Yom Tov. cannot afford, and they are left unhappy and picking up the pieces for years after. You want to keep in mind that, IYH, you have three other weddings to make, whether they be girls or boys, and should try to plan accordingly. While I am painfully aware that the word budget makes everyone cringe, it is simply the smartest way to go. Try to work together with your ex FOR FULL JOB DETAILS AND TO APPLY to come up with a reasonable budget that PLEASE SEND YOUR RESUME TO: works for both sides. RABBI DR. DAVID JACOBSON, DEAN There is a price to pay for peace. DAVID.JACOBSON4@TOURO.EDU Many people say they want it but are not willing to go the distance for it. Referring 323-822-9700 X0 to the Israel-Arab conflict, previous Ambassador to Israel, David Friedman, once said, “It’s not always about giving parts you and what you were able to accomplish of the land, sometimes it’s about a cease- peacefully. _________________________________ fire, and an agreement that even those who (Dini) Gres is a wife, mother of 4 adult daughters, aren’t happy with the divide, they will Adina business owner, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. agree to put down their swords.” Peace- Through her role as owner of Financial Concierge LLC and INDIVIDUAL for personal and financial clients, Adina recognizes ful terms also mean a cease-fire, whether coach that trying to get ahead without managing a healthy mentalCOUPLE you are happy with some of the details or ity is the primary reason blocking individuals from success. When working with her clients, Dini helps them understand & FAMILY not. Any parent would want to feel happy, how they themselves can change the narrative of their lives. THERAPY proud, fulfilled, and grateful that Hakadosh You can hear more from Adina by listening to her podcast titled “Things I think you should know.” Adina also shares Baruch Hu gave them this opportunity to on her Instagram page @financialconcierge. marry off a child. Most of all, if you communicate with each other every step of the MS way and respect each other’s guidelines, I LICENSED PROFESSIONAL CLINICAL COUNSELOR For submissions to the “Dear Dini” have no doubt you will be able to wake up column, please send your questions to editor@thelajewishhome.com the next morning feeling proud of both of for appointments or consultation call 424-256-5134


OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

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360,000 5

The Numbers

IDF reservists that the ID first called;

weddings bar mitzvahs upsherin

showed up!

took place on an army base

2 450,000 1 900

red roses outside the Israeli embassy in Sweden for the 900 Israeli lives lost

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1

Kabbalos taken within the first day of the launch of sharejustonething.com, where each person takes on a kabbalah and is matched with an Israeli solider. Now totals over kabbalos.

50,000

Oldest IDF reservist to show up

pairs 7000 of tzitzis donated by one jewelry store

6,000

families from the South were put up for Shabbat Bereishit in less than 45 minutes

is Hashem, our Savior,

families put up at the Plaza Hotel in Jerusalem, where the lobby was filled with formula, diapers, food, clothing, and entertainment; paid by 2 anonymous US donors

10,000

95

years old

Hundreds of youth at Ben Gurion airport to greet soldiers returning to Israel

100

7million brothers and sisters living in Israel

$500,000

that a man spent in JFK to purchase 250 tickets for soldiers who received a call-up notice from the IDF

Millions

lbs of breast milk of perakim of Tehillim said delivered within 3 hours


Thank You Los Angeles

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26


‫מי כעמך ישראל‬

Hundreds of duffels sent from all over the world filled with supplies for the IDF and displaced Israelis

34 duffels of supplies on its way from Britain to Israel

OCTOBER 19, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Thousands of meals prepared for IDF soldiers

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Chalot baked for the soldiers

Dozens of pairs of the best flip flops purchaed by Chareidim in Israel for the IDF

IDF soldier learning Torah

Soldiers receive camouflage green tzitzit to protect them

Duffels sent from Beverly Hills, CA

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Older man Has Brit Milah as a zechut for the Israeli soldiers

A soldier grateful to receive Tzitzit

Dancing Hakafos with the Sefer Torah while rockets rain down

Soldiers singing Shalom Aleichim

Bar Mitzvah on an army base

Another wedding on an army base

Bar Mitzvah boy on army base

One of the many weddings on an army base last week


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Chef Nir Weinblut

Colorful Stuffed Peppers

Ingredients

Directions

• 6 bell peppers (any colors) • 3 cups of crushed tomato sauce • 1 chopped yellow onion • 1 cup of water • 1 lb ground beef or lamb • 1 tsp Baharat • 2-3 minced garlic cloves • 1 cup canned garbanzo beans • 1 bunch of parsley, finely chopped • 1 cup of white rice • 1 tsp paprika • 1/4 cup of tomato sauce • 2 cups of water

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. • In a pan, heat up olive oil, and then add your chopped onions. Once they turn translucent, add your ground beef, breaking it up into small pieces. • Once the meat is browned, add in the minced garlic cloves, Baharat, salt, and pepper. • Add your garbanzo beans for the last few minutes of cooking. • In a separate pot, heat some olive oil and add your rice to it. After toasting it for a couple of minutes, add 1/4 cup of tomato sauce, 2 cups of water, salt to taste, and paprika. Bring it to a boil, then simmer until it’s light and fluffy. • Wash and dry your bell peppers, then cut the stems off and remove all the seeds. Don’t discard the tops of the bell peppers. • Once your rice is ready, mix it with your ground beef to create one large mixture. • Assemble all the bell peppers in a 9x13 tray and fill each bell pepper with the rice and beef mixture, filling them to the top. • In a pan, sauté onion and garlic cloves for the sauce. Then add the rest of the ingredients, letting them come together for a few minutes. Pour the sauce in between the stuffed peppers. • Place the tops of the bell peppers on the filling to make them appear “whole” again. • Cover the tray and place it in the oven for about 20 minutes.

For the sauce: • 1/2 cup of crushed tomato sauce • 1/2 chopped yellow onion • 2-3 garlic cloves • 1 tsp paprika • Salt and pepper to taste

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Lou Shapiro

A

s we approached the 50-year anniversary of the Yom Kippur War, I reached out to those who were old enough at the time to appreciate the events to ask them what it was like when they heard the news. All sorts of thoughts went through my mind as to how shocked and scared people must have been when they found out about it. I even purchased a book on it, “Eighteen Days in October: The Yom Kippur War and How It Created the Modern Middle East” by Uri Kaufman. Turns out that I did not need to ask or read about it because we all experienced it first-hand this past Simchas Torah. First, we were in disbelief. We could not comprehend how Hamas breached the Gaza border despite our state-of-the-art security and intelligence. Sunday night we watched the atrocities on television, and it became very real. Human brains are not equipped to process such horrific videos and images that have been flooding social media. There is much to unpack in this tragic situation. How was Hamas able to penetrate the border wall? Where was the IDF during this time? Why was the response time not fast enough to protect the victims attending the concert and who lived in the

settlements? Is Hezbollah going to be joining from the North? What will be the consequences to Iran? Who will inhabit and govern Gaza after the ground incursion? It is too soon and too overwhelming to answer these questions in this piece. There are however some immediate takeaways that merit recognition: 1. President Biden and The United States of America made it unequivocally clear that they stand with Israel and will be supplying it with military assistance, ammunition, and interceptors to replenish the Iron Dome. “To any country, any organization, anyone thinking of taking advantage of the situation, I have one word: Don’t,” Biden said. “Our hearts may be broken but our resolve is clear.” It is important for the world to see that an attack on Israel is an attack on the U.S. and that they will have to contend with both countries. The reinforcement of this partnership provides some comfort during these trying times. 2. Hamas may have exploited a vulnerability in Israel, but they will lose this war. The Yom Kippur War was vastly different from this war. The Yom Kippur

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War was a major, full-scale war involving a coalition of Arab states, led by Egypt and Syria, against Israel. It was a coordinated surprise attack aimed at regaining territories lost to Israel in the 1967 SixDay War. In their pursuit of terror, murder, and destruction, Hamas’ overall goal appears to be futile. “I don’t think anyone really knows what the endgame is at the moment,” said Tahani Mustafa, a Palestinian analyst at the Crisis Group, an international think tank. But given the amount of planning involved in the assault, “it’s difficult to imagine they haven’t tried to strategize every possible scenario.” Shaul Shay, an Israeli researcher and retired colonel who served in military intelligence, said Hamas “miscalculated” Israel’s response and now faces a far worse conflict than it had anticipated. This is more reminiscent of the Attack on Pearl Harbor, when the Imperial Japanese Navy and Air Service awakened a sleeping lion. Israel will only emerge from this stronger and safer after it eradicates Hamas. 3. Most of the population now views Israel in a new light. The recent events have provided clarity to the world that Israel means no harm and now understands why it struggles to work with the Palestinian Authority who allowed Hamas to govern Gaza, and Iran who immediately congratulated Hamas on their murders of innocent men, women, and children. Had the Palestinian Authority not allowed Hamas to take control of Gaza in 2007, then this tragedy may have been avoided. The aggressor and oppressor is clearly Hamas. 4. Sadly, there are some students in top universities that blame Israel for Hamas’ horrific acts. They argue that Israel treats the residents of Gaza as if they live in an open-air prison. Really? Last I checked Hamas was governing Gaza, not Israel. This flawed argument is addressed by Walter Block and Alan Futerman in a piece in the Wall Street Journal entitled, “The Moral Duty To Destroy Hamas.”

They keenly point out that 94 years ago, on August 24, 1929, in Hebron, Islamist Arabs massacred 133 Jewish students while they screamed “Kill the Jews!” In 1929, there was no state of Israel, no ”blockade,” and no “occupied” territories. They wrote that the cause of the massacre in 1929 and in 2023 is “a deep, maniacal murderous and utterly destructive hatred of Jews – the same essential factor operating today, to which all other excuses are subservient.” 5. As history has shown, tragedies bring unity. Rallies that number in the thousands in support of Israel are assembling around the world. The New York Post reported that an anonymous man purchased 250 plane tickets for Israeli Defense Forces call-ups heading back to embattled Israel at JFK Airport. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former defense chief and centrist opposition party leader Benny Gantz formed an emergency government. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky stated that he wants to visit Israel in a show of solidarity with the country. Random people are stopping members of the Jewish community to express their sympathy and outrage. As I write this article, 300,000 IDF soldiers and tanks are lining the Gaza border preparing for a ground invasion. Their goal is to free the hostages and annihilate Hamas. Former Prime Minister of Israel David Ben-Gurion famously said, “One does not write history. But makes it.” The world is grateful for their bravery during this dangerous mission, and we hope and pray that they are swift, safe, and successful. ____________________________________________ Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal analyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas Torah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail.com.

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The Hamas-Israel War: First Impressions


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