January, 4 2024 by Joel Halpern

‫ ז׳ שבט תשפ״ד‬- ‫כ״ג טבת‬

January 4, - January 17, 2024 • VOL 2, #10

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Dear Readers,

ewish history has always involved the cycle of very high highs and very low lows, both spiritually and physically. We will always be chosen, and always be hated. Today is no different than it was back in Egypt thousands of years ago. It is also known that the higher a Jew rises, the lower he falls, and then he rises again. That is the trajectory of the Jewish nation, collectively and individually. At the beginning of Parshas Shemos, Yaakov, his sons, and their families, totalling 70 people, were invited by Pharaoh to settle in the land of Goshen. The Yisraeliam prosper economically (thereby increasing the Egyptian economy shortly after their “seven years of plenty” as interpreted by Yosef in Pharaoh’s dream) and also increase in size to almost 3 million people. Life is good. Good for the Jews and good for the land where the Jews are living. But now the Egyptians realize that the Jews are prospering too much, becoming too many. “We welcomed them but we didn’t really want them to succeed this much.” So begins the new Paroah’s plan for Jewish genocide throw all the baby boys into the river (sounds like “From the river to the sea….”). Then, comes the birth of Moshe Rabbeinu, born in secrecy, hidden, and miraculously kept alive. Many miracles occurred for Moshe to survive. First, his parents had to reunite because they had separated in fear of having more children as many couples did during this time. Then he had to survive, he was hidden in his home from the very beginning and not found

by those who searched homes for baby boys. Only when he grew too large to hide, he was put in the Nile, watched over, and saved by none other than the Egyptian princess, who raised him in the home of a genocidal evil ruler. We would assume that Moshe would be brought up as an Egyptian, completely assimilated, but instead it was another miracle that his own mother nursed him and cared for him as a young child, instilling in him Judaism and its principles, which later became his guiding light. After Moshe kills an Egyptian who would go and tell on him, he flees to Midyan to save his life. While Moshe is safe in Midyan at the moment, the situation for the Jews in Egypt gets worse. It’s at this point when Moshe sees the burning bush and Hashem has “remembered” Bnei Yisrael and is ready to take them out of Mitzrayim. Not only will the Jews leave Egypt but they will leave with riches and be brought to the Promised Land. And while traveling there, they would get the Torah, a precious gift from Hashem, an everlasting link that can be passed down forever from one Jewish generation to the next. However, even after Hashem makes the promise to Moshe, Pharaoh continues to make the Jews’ lives more bitter, while refusing to let them leave after Moshe’s repeated requests. For the Jews in Egypt, things are getting worse, not better. Will Hashem save them like He promises? Their babies are being murdered, thrown callously into the river. They have to work daily doing relentless backbreaking work, which kills many of them. Men are living apart from their families for fear of having more chil-

dren. It’s worse than a war - because they have no ability to fight. We are like the burning bush, always on fire, never consumed. We are forever in danger of being destroyed, but we never will be, because Hashem has promised to redeem us time and time again. The world seems very dark these days. But we’ve been here before. And while we are living through this lowly low, there will be another high. Just like we were redeemed from Egypt to be given the Torah in the desert, and then arrive in Eretz Yisrael, Hashem has some wonderful gift he has prepared for us. We just need to believe it and wait to receive it.

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Los Angeles Jewish Businesses Unite to Support Israel

ocal community member and father Eyal Dahan has been in Israel since October 7 to help those in Israel in any way possible. The Los Angeles community has been raising funds and gathering supplies for Mr. Dahan to distribute. Many other LA locals have gone on solidarity trips to Israel to assist him or tag along on some of his missions. In order to continue providing that support, Liat Nourafchan and Lynn Abesera have combined their ingenuity and efforts to locally fundraise in unique ways. Last week, these two women organized an event to raise money to support Eyal Dahan’s continued efforts to support those in Israel, including soldiers, wounded civilians and soldiers, displaced families, providing Shabbat meals for soldiers, BBQs, and much more to directly help those who have suffered since October 7.

The event was held at a local venue, where there were 11 large raffles with over 70 vendors participating. These local Los Angeles Jewish businesses willingly donated their services, products, gift cards, etc. That event raised $14,065, which was directly on a plane with an LA local to Israel the next day to be dispersed to those in need. Since Liat and Lynn have started their fundraising campaign with previous events, they have raised $26,720, which has been sent to various foundations in Israel and other organizations. They plan to organize another event that can host more than the Local teenagers Isaac Amoyal, Gad Ohayon, and Eli Chrique flew from LA to help Eyal during 175 people who attended last week’s event, part of his mission. which reached the maximum capacity of attendees due to venue capacity. The goal is to organize a bigger event that can host more people, and raise more awareness of what the funds are for and be able to accomplish.

Legal Holiday Shiurim at Anshe Emes

Event Organizers Lynn Abesera and L iat Nourafchan

Eyal Dahan speaks of what being in Israel for 60+ days and being in and out of Gaza looks like.

n the legal holiday of December 25, Anshe Emes held a shiur, presented by Rabbi Yitzchok Summers, on the topic of “All’s well that ends well, a halachic analysis.” The shiur was well attended, with a served breakfast sponsored by the Magid and Sarto families. The shiur’s topic discussed the halacha of beginning and ending each aliyah on a positive note. This concept extends beyond aliyos to other areas, like the endings of Gemorahs and also sections of Shulchan Aruch. The shiur finished by discussing the Mussar and Middos aspects of thinking positively and looking at the bright side. Rabbi Yakkov Moshe Harris of Anshe Emes Los Angeles gives a special legal holiday shiur on the topic of the halachos Krias Shema and Mechiras Yosef. A large crowd was in attendance with breakfast sponsored by the Magid, Sarto, and Gilbert families.

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Rabbi Yitzchok Summers of Anshe Emes presenting a legal holiday shiur on the topic Alls well that ends well, a halachic analysis.

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30+ Sephardic Rabanim make Joint Statement on Yoshon

n a notable display of unity, over 30 Sephardic Rabanim from shuls, yeshivas, and organizations from Los Angeles and the Valley, have come together to address a lingering matter in the community—the observance of Yoshon. The Torah, in Emor 23:14, prohibits consuming new grain planted after Pessach. The joint letter has also been endorsed by previous Chief Sefardic Rabbi of Israel, Rav Shlomo Moshe Amar and Rav David Yosef, son of the Late Chief Sefardic Rabbi, Rav Ovadia Yosef tz”l. Historically, the ambiguity surrounding the timing of grains and challenging living conditions forced many Ashkenazi communities to rely on doubts and lenient opinions to allow the consumption of doubtful Chodosh products. The consensus among Sephardic poskim and several Ashkenazi poskim is that Chodosh, both inside and outside Eretz Yisrael, is forbidden from the Torah (O.C. 489, Y.D. 295 - see Rema). Recent agricultural and technological

advances have transformed the landscape of grain production and delivery, prompting a reevaluation of how much to publicize the issue of Chodosh. The changing conditions has led to a reinvigorated focus on Yoshon goods, with numerous bakeries and pizza shops in Los Angeles now adopting the use of Yoshon flour, making it easier than ever to obtain such baked goods. In fact, Bibi’s Bakery on Pico Blvd, recently adopted Yoshon flour for some of its baked goods to help meet the demand of Yoshon conscious consumers. In light of these developments fo the availability of Yoshon bakeries and Pizza shops in L.A., the Rabanim stress the significance of heeding the advice of the Chafetz Chayim, as expressed in the Mishna Berurah (489:45 and Biur Halacha), encouraging the procurement of Yoshon goods whenever possible. As the embrace of Yoshon grows within the community, there exists a genuine de- ucts. This collective aspiration envisions a community where all members of the Jewish sire for a future where every establishment community can delight in the consumption of such offerings without a considerable prioritizes the availability of Yoshon prod- increase in the costs to follow the mitzvah.

Sefer Bereishit Comes Alive at Hillel Hebrew Academy

s Klal Yisroel finished Sefer Bereishit, students at Hillel were transported *into* the Land of Breishit! As students arrived at school, they were surprised to see their recess yard transformed into the very Parshiot they have been learning inside the classroom, now fully alive in their yard! Each grade got to travel through the Parshiot, meeting the Avot and Imahot and learning how they can apply their special ways and Middot in their individual lives today. After all, we are taught ‫מעשה אבות סימן לבנים‬, the actions of our forefathers and foremothers were a sign of how we should live our lives today. This was the rationale behind the hours of work that Hillel teachers put into every single detail of their life size Siyum Sefer Bereishit. We showed the relevance of Abraham’s kindness today, the strength of Yitzchak, and just how crucial the commitment to Truth is as highlighted by Yaakov. From the Marat Hamachpelah to Goshen in Egypt, students got to experience it ALL! The sounds, the tastes, the animals, all of it. At Hillel, in addition to the academic excellence we offer in the classroom setting, the immersive and experiential learning environment provided is one of a kind!

10 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

ver the past seven weeks, Yeshiva Aharon Yaakov Ohr Eliyahu mothers and daughters have been learning together every Shabbos under the Treasured Moments program. Each week, meaningful lessons on the topic of “Olam Chesed Yibaneh” were sent home with each girl in grades second through eighth, which included insights into the parsha, stories of inspiration, Chesed tips, a “Did You Know” section, and questions for discussion relating the parsha to the topic of Chesed. To celebrate the culmination of the learning, a gala tea party took place on Sunday December 31, which included teachers, mothers, daughters, grandmothers, sisters, and aunts. The program began with tehillim and singing Acheinu, mother-daughter learning on the topic of Olam Chesed Yibaneh, and delectable desserts, tea, and hot chocolate. The most popular treat was jello in fancy tea cups! Girls Limudei Kodesh Principal,

Mrs. Malca Schwarzmer, gave meaningful words of divrei Torah on doing small acts of daily chesed for those around us in the zechus of those in Eretz Yisrael. After “tea time,” the crowd was treated to a “taste” of chesed from a variety of chesed organizations in the local community where mothers or daughters could choose to volunteer. Some of these included The Clubhouse, Shoshanim, Ateres Avigail Bikur Cholim, and the school itself. We then put your learning into action with a large art project where mothers and daughters worked together to tie blankets together to send to the Laniado hospital in Eretz Yisrael. The program was brought to fruition through the tireless efforts of Mrs. Rochel Weichbrod, with the support of YAYOE staff including Rabbi Shlomo Goldberg, Mrs. Malca Schwarzmer, Mrs. Sarah Kaufman, Mrs. Leora Ganchrow, Mrs. Sharon Saks, and Ms. Dina Zisblatt.

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A Community Event Parshas Shemos/Va’eirah Jan. 3 - 16

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Understanding The Situation In Israel Motzai Shabbos Jan. 6, 2024

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EPIC Chinuch Week

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Parshas Shemos Jan. 5 - 6

Parshas Va’eira Jan. 12 - 13

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Friday Night Jan 12

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Mekor Hachaim - Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro Shuvah Yisrael - Pico - Rabbi Dovid Kaplan Shuvah Yisrael - Seudah and Oneg Shabbos Mekor Hachaim - Oneg Shabbos - Men & Women Shiur with Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro Shabbos Morning Jan 13 Mekor Hachaim - Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro Nessah - Rabbi Dovid Kaplan Shabbos Afternoon Shiur Jan 13

Eim Habanim - Rabbi Eliyahu Cohen 3:30pm Men & Women

Shalosh Seudos Jan 6 Shaarei Torah - Harav Zev Leff Young Israel of Hancock Park - Rabbi Eliyahu Cohen Beis Medrash of Hancok Park - Rabbi Shlomo Pinkus

Shalosh Seudos Jan 13 Mekor Hachaim- Rabbi Ephraim Shapiro TILA - Rabbi Dovid Kaplan Eim Habanim - Rabbi Eliyahu Cohen

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JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

Shalom Bayit

Through the Parsha

Resisting the Current: Unraveling Obedience

Rabbi Nir Yacoby

Parshat Shemot: Imagine Yourself

Elan Javanfard

his week, we begin a new Sefer of the Torah and a new secular year. In Parashat Shemot, we encounter the powerful story of the Jewish midwives, Shifra & Puah, whose courageous defiance of Pharaoh’s decree sparked the birth of the Jewish redemption. Their actions provide us a compelling lesson going into a season where people set ‘New Year’s goals’ and attempt to better themselves based on a calendar change. Amidst the oppression and cruelty of Mitzrayim, their actions shed light on the psychological concept of social obedience and pressures to conform. In the 1960’s during the wake of the Holocaust and as the Eichmann trial began, Yale psychologist Stanley Milgram sought to understand the dynamics of obedience to authority figures, even when it meant acting against their own moral values. His studies famously demonstrated that individuals were willing to obey authority figures, even when it meant inflicting harm on others, proving the pressures of conformity and authority. Pharaoh commands Shifra and Puah to kill every Hebrew baby boy born. However, these courageous women refuse to comply with the immoral order. The Torah tells us, “But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them; they let the boys live” (Exodus 1:17). Despite the threat to their own lives, the midwives choose a path of defiance grounded in their fear of Hashem and a commitment to higher moral principles. Shemot Rabbah tells us that Shifra and Puah were none other than Yocheved and Miriam, Moshe’s own mother and sister. Torah refers to them by nick-names embodying their actions. Puah is named for defying Pharoah’s orders (Hebrew for ‘Hophia’) and Shifra from the mitzvah to be fruitful (Hebrew for ‘Puru’). Milgram’s experiments revealed the power of situational factors in influencing human behavior, highlighting the dangers of unchecked obedience

14 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

to authority. Their resistance, however, points to the existence of a moral compass within individuals that can override external pressures. The Ibn Ezra writes that after the decree, they worked harder in child birthing to ensure more lives would be saved. Their actions serve as a testament to the possibility of maintaining ethical principles even when confronted with the coercive forces of authority. This lesson applies in our daily lives, to increase our courage to resist the attraction of the current social norms. Halacha informs us of many times where obedience has its time and place, as seen by the rules and laws that guide our daily actions as Jewish people. However, this form of obedience is in service of Hashem and his divine providence, not the current societal trends in the secular world that sway us. The story of these powerful Jewish women challenges us to reflect on the sources of authority in our lives and the extent to which we blindly conform to societal norms. It prompts us to question whether a moral compass guides our actions or if we are merely following the path of least resistance. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” The midwives teach us that within the human spirit lies the potential for resistance, reminding us that even in the face of formidable authority, one can choose the path of righteousness. As we navigate the complexities of our own lives, may we draw inspiration from the faith in Hashem of midwives to stand out when it comes to our values and resist the current.

rabbi, leading a group of perspective: who, when, where. An otherwise married men, said: “If you feel precious diamond may be worthless in a time good about yourself, you’ll feel good of famine. What’s your value in God’s perspective of about other relationships. So let each one of us say one good thing about himself.” timelessness? INFINITE value. The world “I’m good at math,” offered one. “I’m was created for you and God is by you! How handsome,” offered another. A third guy much joy should you live with? How much said, “I’m good for nothing, but I have an joy should you project to others, especially your wife, for shalom bayit. amazing shalom bayit.” “You belong to the pathetic liars group,” quipped the rabbi. When God tasks Moses to be a leader, we see him having low self esteem: “I’m a foreigner, I have a speech impediment, how can I lobby Pharoe?” When God tasked Noach to build the ark, he didn’t say “I’m not worthy.” Nor did Abraham respond in that way. Moses in ‫ שמות‬does, and God teaches him 5 different ways to improve his self esteem. This is #1. God said “I’ll be with you.” Let me explain. Self esteem is about your perception of your own value. Value depends on ____________________________________________________________________ Rabbi Nir and his wife Atrian give regular classes on Shalom Bayit. His popular 3-minute podcast is funny and draws Shalom Bayit ideas from the Torah portion of the week. To register: ShalomInComics@gmail.com

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Rebbe’s

Stories

King Monbaz

There was a non-Jewish king by the name of Monbaz. Royalty had been in hisfamily for many generations and now he had inherited the throne as well as the abundance of wealth that had been passed down by his ancestors . King Monbaz and his mother Hilnee were deeply influenced by the wisdom of th eJewish sages and the exceptional qualities of the Jewish people so they decided that they wanted to become Jewish After King Monbaz and his mother became became “Garim” they donated large amounts of gold to enhance the beauty of the Beis HaMikdash and the land of Israel. One time there was a terrible famine in the land of Israel. Food was

scarce and whatever was available was very costly. The people of Israel were starving. King Monbaz opened up his treasury and practically emptied it by purchasing food from other lands for the starving people. When his non-Jewish family members heard what he was doing, they immediately rushed to his side and rebuked him. “How could you do such a thing? they screamed. “Don’t you realize how many years it took for our forefathers to acquire all that wealth and now you throw it away?” King Munbaz responding calmly and confidently. “Our forefathers accumulated treasures for their own honor, I am using the treasure for the honor of Hashem”!

Our forefather’s used their treasures for their own pleasure, I am using it to help others!”. Our forefathers used their treasures to purchase items that will be lost, stolen or will eventually wear out. I am purchasing Mitzvos that will last forever. Our forefathers are no longer around to enjoy their treasure, but I will enjoy this treasure in this world and the next. The non-Jewish relatives of king Monbaz walked away angrily, realizing that King Monbaz would not listen to them and he would continue to give away his treasure to help others. This story can be found in Baba Basra 11a

Questions for Discussion 1.

Why do you think that a powerful king with honor and wealth would want to become Jewish? 2. Do you think it was correct for King Monbaz to use up most of his wealth to help the starving people? 3. What was the main message that King Monbaz gave his non-Jewish relatives? ___________________________________________ Rabbi Mordechai Dubin is a Rebbe at Gindi Maimonides Academy. He is the author of three illustrated children’s books, I’ll Never Forget Yerushalayim, I Believe, and I Know 6; and has produced four Musical CD’s for children, I Made This World For you, Let My People Go, Al Shelosha Devarim, and Hashem is Always With Me.

Calling all Kids Thank you for your responses to the Droodles!

name that droodle!

The Droodle answer is:

A bubble gum champion! Winners for this droodle are

Bracha Akhamzadeh & Bailee Botnick It’s a guy chewing gum and the bubble is as big as his whole body (except his tiny feet) - Bracha Akhamzadeh, 14, Bais Yaakov A person chewing gum and blowing a huge bubble that covered his/ her face. - Bailee Botnick, 12, Yeshiva Aaron Yaakov Our Eliyahu

The person whose Droodle caption is correct will

win a PINT of ice cream from Valley Swirl!

Submit your responses by Thursday! Send your submissions to editor@thelajewishhome.com

16 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

A Mr. Potato Head not dressed - Ahuva Gruen, 11, Toras Emes A matzah ball with feet - Hallel Klyman, 10, Emek Hebrew Academy A balloon with legs - Elisheva Akhamzadeh, 9, Toras Emes A potato with legs - Esther Akhamzadeh, 7, Toras Emes A man pushing the biggest snowball And a man stuck in a balloon - Anaelle Halpern, 10, Toras Emes

The Droodle answer is:

2x4 = 8 The most creative answers go to Gavi Levine, Noam

Halpern, & Abby Levine Two scoops of ice cream floating in mid air - Noam Halpern, 11, Maimonides Sideways goggles! - Gavi Levine, 6, Yeshiva Ketana An egg balancing on a ball - Abby Levine, 9, Yeshiva Ketana An incomplete snowman - Moshe Amiri, 9, Toras Emes An artist starting to sketch a snowman - Tamar Kleinman, Toras Emes A kid stuck in a snow ball or A half built snowman - Anaelle Halpern, 10, Toras Emes Snowman - Emuna Halpern, 7, Toras Emes Snowman - Orly Spinrad, 7, YAYOE Since there was no correct answer for this Droodle, we decided to give the prize of a free ice cream cone to those with the most creative responses!

Tu B'Shevat A R T

C O N T E S T !

USE FRUITS OR VEGETABLES TO CRAFT A MASTERPIECE THAT CELEBRATES THE BEAUTY OF NATURE. WHETHER IT’S A FRUITY LANDSCAPE OR VEGGIE CREATURE, MAKE IT COME ALIVE!

R U L E S 1

Create your artwork using only fruits and vegetables.

Snap a photo of your masterpiece and submit it to Editor@TheLaJewishHome.com

Tell us your name, age, and school

4 Write a short description of your creation (max 7 words) 5 Submissions Deadline: Thursday, January 11 @ 10:00 PM

THERE WILL BE TWO WINNERS!

PRIZE 1

PRIZE 2

Gift card to Schwartz’s Bakery

Gift card to Schwartz’s Dairy Cafe

$100

Winners and Honorary Mentions will be showcased in the January 18 Issue. JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

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18 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

YEAR IN REVIEW 2023 By Los Angeles Jewish Home Staff Many hoped that 2023 would usher in a year filled with clarity and calmness. But as we close out the calendar, we are filled with more uncertainty than ever. The events of October 7 overshadowed any other events that took place this year, and since that infamous day, our lives are still reeling. And yet, if you look through these pages and take a walk down memory lane, you’ll remember that there were glimpses of lightness that filled this past year. In this section, we tried to give you a brief overview of what took place the past 12 months – and perhaps bring a smile to your face as you remember that there were some interesting, exhilarating, momentous, and fascinating events that made up 2023. It is our hope that the new secular year will bring good news, joy, and clarity for us all.

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2023 BY THE NUMBERS $245 billion 91 counts

148 days

1,434,555,583

The financial worth of Elon Musk, who, in the second half of 2023, snagged the title of richest person in the world f rom Bernard Arnault, who is only worth $200.6 billion.

Population of India, which in April became the world’s most populated country, skipping ahead of China, which has a population of 1,425,671,352.

If you are a Democrat who wants Trump to be the 2024 Republican nominee because he is “the gift that keeps on giving,” the surest way to bait Republicans to nominate him is to indict him on 91 federal and state felony counts. Trump was first indicted in March 2023 by the Manhattan district attorney on state charges related to a hush-money payment in 2016. In June 2023, he was indicted by a federal grand jury in Miami for taking classified documents with him to Mar-a-Lago. In August 2023, he was indicted in Georgia for election interference and also indicted in Washington for his alleged role in the January 6 th events. Although Trump’s Washington, D.C., case is scheduled for trial on March 4, 2024, one day before Super- Tuesday (on which many states decide on a presidential nominee), the Supreme Court agreed to hear arguments on the Constitutionality of the Washington case. Therefore, the charges may be dismissed before the trial date, or the case may be delayed pending a Supreme Court decision.

$1.765 billion $6.4 trillion Amount of the largest Powerball in 2023, won by an unidentified winner in California on October 11. The one-time cash payout? $774.1 million. The winner has one year to claim the prize; once the prize is claimed, the newly minted almost-billionaire’s name will be made public.

20 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

The federal government’s budget in 2023. By comparison, in 1980, the entire federal budget was $579 billion. The largest expenditure this year was Social Security, at 22%. National defense was the second largest expense, at 15% of the total budget. In 2023, the federal government brought in “revenue” (i.e. taxes) of $4.8 trillion. Thus, $1.5 trillion was added to the deficit, which is now $25.8 trillion.

Length of the Hollywood writer’s strike. The strike ended on September 27, after the Writers Guild of America (WGA) union negotiated for writers to get better residuals f rom streaming services and all sides agreed to a ban on using AI to write scripts.

Number of seasons that Tom Brady played in the NFL before retiring on February 1. His stats scream G.O.A.T. He threw 649 touchdowns, was selected to 15 Pro Bowls, was league MVP 3 times, won 7 Super Bowls in five of which he was theSuper Bowl MVP, and played until age 45.

$787.5 million

The amount paid by Fox News to Dominion Voting Systems, settling the voting machine company’s defamation lawsuit against the news network. The settlement on April 18 came on the eve of trial, at which Fox News could have faced a larger verdict for its false claims about Dominion in the aftermath of the 2020 presidential elections.

2023 NOTABLE DEATHS

Justice Sandra Day O’Connor Justice Sandra Day O’Connor was appointed to the Supreme Court by President Ronald Reagan and served f rom 1981 until 2006. Despite being the first woman to sit on the highest court in the land, she often said, “The power I exert on the court depends on the power of my arguments, not on my gender.” She was known as a moderate conservative. She died on December 1 at age 93.

Henry A. Kissinger Henry A. Kissinger, whose family escaped German antisemitism in 1938, served as the 56 th Secretary of State, f rom 1973 to 1977, under Presidents Nixon and Ford. In addition, he simultaneously served as Nixon’s National Security Advisor, a position he had held when President Nixon was sworn into office on January 20, 1969. In 1975, President Gerald R. Ford removed him f rom his National Security Advisor position while keeping him as Secretary of State. He had supreme confidence and is noted to have said, “Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything, you are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.” Kissinger was instrumental in opening China to the Western world and advocated for compromise with the Soviet Union. He remained an active voice in foreign policy until his death at the age of 100, on November 29. Not everyone liked his policies, though. Upon his death, left-wing Rolling Stone magazine’s spiteful headline read: “Good Riddance: Henry Kissinger, War Criminal Beloved by America’s Ruling Class, Finally Dies.”

Bob Barker

For 35 years, Bob Barker hosted “The Price Is Right,” welcoming contestants to vie for prizes by correctly guessing prices…and urging them to “spin that wheel!” Barker, who hosted over 5,000 shows, quipped that “it takes many years of hard work to become an overnight success.” He hosted the show until the age of 83. “I think that age as a number is not nearly as important as health,” he said. “You can be in poor health and be pretty miserable at 40 or 50. If you’re in good health, you can enjoy things into your 80s.” He died on August 26, at the age of 99.

Charlie Munger Billionaire Charlie Munger was Warren Buffett’s partner at Berkshire Hathaway for 60 years. “We think so much alike that it’s spooky,” Buffett said about his partner. “Charlie and I have never argued,” Buffett said in 2014. Munger’s business strategy? “The first rule of fishing is to fish where the fish are,” he quipped at a 2017 Berkshire meeting. “The second rule of fishing is to never forget the first rule. We’ve gotten good at fishing where the fish are.” Ever practical, one of his conditions for donating to universities was that he should have a say in building construction on campus. He explained, “Any time you go to a football game or a function, there’s a huge line outside the women’s bathroom…What kind of idiot would make the men’s bathroom and the women’s bathroom the same size? The answer is: a normal architect!”

Rosalynn Carter Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter was married to Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States. Their 77-year marriage, during which they had four children and 22 grandchildren and great-grandchildren, was seen as a model marriage. Rosalynn would often talk about how a lot of work was required to achieve that. When Rosalynn married Jimmy at the age of 18, she left Plains, Georgia, a tiny little town of 668 people. For the next six years, they moved around various Naval bases throughout the country. But one day, Jimmy decided to quit the Navy and move back to Plains. On the long car ride back to Georgia f rom Massachusetts, Rosalynn did not say one word in the car. Jimmy often quipped that on that car ride, he decided that he would never make another decision without consulting with his wife first. During the Carter presidency, Rosalynn was an ever-present fixture in cabinet meetings and at other presidential engagements. She died on November 19, at the age of 96.

Jimmy Buffett Folk singer Jimmy Buffett’s only Top 10 song was “Margaritaville.” Even so, his fans, known as “Parrotheads,” were not only drawn to his music but also to his chilled vibes and visions of flip-flops, hammocks, and sunshine. As to why he was so relaxed, he said, “Is it ignorance or apathy? Hey, I don’t know, and I don’t care.” People were drawn to his different way of looking at things. “If we weren’t all crazy, we’d just go insane,” he quipped. Buffett sold over 20 million albums and played at almost 2,000 concerts. Despite his longevity in the music industry, he was not a fan of modern day music. “There’s something missing in the music industry today...and it’s music.” He parlayed his persona into a lucrative brand, consisting of restaurants, casinos, retirement communities, and bestselling books. With over 500 employees, his worth was an estimated $1 billion, according to Forbes. He died on September 1, 2023, at age 76. JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

2023 AROUND THE WORLD Argentina JEW-ISH NEW PRESIDENT On November 19, libertarian Javier Milei, a 53-year-old economist and former band leader, won a stunning come-f rom-behind victory in Argentina’s presidential election. During his campaign, he suggested that he would replace the Argentine peso, which has lost most of its value amid 143% inflation, with the U.S. dollar as the country’s national currency, and would eliminate the central bank. Milei, who is a huge supporter of Israel, has a particularly close relationship with the Jewish community. He expressed that the only thing stopping him f rom converting right now is the difficulty of observing Shabbos, but once he is out of office, he will consider converting. Before being sworn in on December 11, Milei made a special trip to New York, to daven at the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Ohel in Rosedale, NY.

Russia/Ukraine STALLED COUNTEROFFENSIVE In early June, Ukraine’s military launched its long-awaited counteroffensive against Russian forces, with the goal of reaching the Sea of Azov. This show of strength was not only for the purpose of reclaiming occupied territory on the war’s southeastern f ront but also to prove to the Western world that its support of Ukraine was worth the price. However, by November, it was clear that despite high hopes, the counteroffensive had failed, with Ukraine only making incremental gains in south Ukraine. Ukrainian Pres. Zelensky spun the failed counteroffensive to highlight the need for more international support. “We wanted faster results,” he said. “From that perspective, unfortunately, we did not achieve the desired results. And this is a fact. There is not enough power to achieve the desired results faster.” He bemoaned that the October 7 massacre in Israel was taking attention away f rom his war. “We can see the consequences of global society switching [its attention] because of the tragedy in the Middle East; only the blind could not recognize this. We must not allow people to forget about the war here. Attention equals help.”

22 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

Finland

Saudi Arabia & Iran

HAPPY

DIPLOMATIC TIES

For the sixth year in a row, Finland has been ranked the world’s happiest country, according to the 2023 World Happiness Report, which is published by the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network. Israel moved up to No. 4 this year f rom its No. 9 ranking last year. The Netherlands (No. 5), Switzerland (No. 8), Luxembourg (No. 9) and New Zealand (No. 10) rounded out the top 10. The United States earned the 15 th spot. Afghanistan came in last on the list at No. 137

In a surprise development, Saudi Arabia and Iran announced an agreement on March 10 to reestablish diplomatic ties after years of hostilities. The agreement was mediated by China. In an apparent dig at the West, China’s top diplomat Wang Yi stated that “the world is not limited to the Ukraine issue.” The two countries reopened their respective embassies in Tehran and Riyadh.

Hawaii, U.S. TRAGIC WILDFIRE A fast-moving wildfire broke out in Maui on August 8, resulting in the death of 97 people, making it the deadliest fire in the U.S. in over a century. The fire, which burned for 3 days, decimated the town of Lahaina, destroying more than 2,200 homes. Although Hawaii’s electric utility acknowledged that its power lines started the blaze, they faulted county firefighters for declaring the blaze contained and leaving the scene.

North Korea A UNIQUE NAME If you live in North Korea and your name is Ju-ae, change it fast. In November, North Korean media introduced North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un’s daughter, Ju-ae, as an “adorable” and “noble daughter.” Being that North Korea historically has banned people f rom using the same names as its leaders, North Korean authorities are forcing residents who share the same name as Ju-ae to change their names to something else. Pyongsong City Security Department issued an internal order f rom the central government to change the name of women who use the name Ju-ae “within a week.” This has led to speculation that Ju-ae is being groomed to eventually be her father’s successor.

CHINA Turkey & Syria

England

EARTHQUAKE

CORONATION OF A KING

More than 50,000 people were killed and tens of thousands injured after a magnitude 7.8 earthquake struck Turkey and Syria on February 6. Israeli search-and-rescue group United Hatzalah spent six days on the ground in Turkey and rescued tens of victims. However, they were forced to flee the country when they received intelligence of a concrete and immediate threat of an attack on them. Other Israeli aide groups continued to assist on the ground in various capacities in the ensuing months.

King Charles III was crowned king at Westminster Abbey on May 6. Although the coronation was steeped in ancient rituals, with St. Edward’s Crown placed atop King Charles’ head as he sat upon a 700-year-old oak chair, there was an undertone of new age drama— Prince Harry, who has been at odds with the Royals, did not have much of an official role and appeared without his wife Meghan Markle who had to stay home in California “to watch the children.”

XI HOLDS POWER On March 10, Chinese leader Xi Jinping, 69, was awarded a third five-year term. Despite his cerebral demeanor, Xi has rid the ruling Communist party of rivals and filled its top ranks with his supporters. He broke with the Chinese tradition of leaders handing over power after a decade. The vote by the National People’s Congress was unanimous for Xi: 2,952 to 0. Upon meeting with Xi in San Francisco for a China- U.S. Summit in November, Pres. Biden called Xi a dictator, eliciting a now-famous meme of a dreadful grimace f rom U.S. Secretary of State Anthony Blinken, who was seated in the first row at the press conference.

JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

2023 THINGS THAT CAME AND WENT AI

Although it's been a theme in dystopian novels for decades, artificial intelligence had a breakout year in 2023. ChatGPT, a chatbot developed by OpenAl and launched on November 30, 2022, was used by millions by January 2023. On March 14, OpenAl released GPT-4, an upgraded version of their popular artificial intelligence chatbot, setting off an Al f renzy. On May 1. Geoff rey Hinton, the "Godfather of Al" who earned his nickname for his pioneering work in the Al field, resigned f rom his role at Google to help spread the word about the dangers of the emerging technology. According to Forbes, 64% of businesses expect Al to increase productivity, while 77% are concerned that Al will cause job loss in the next year.

Chinese Spy Balloon X On July 3, Facebook unveiled Threads to compete with Twitter. Within five days, Threads had 100 million users. That must have scared Twitter's owner Elon Musk, you'd think. Well, at least his company has been around for more than a decade and its iconic bird logo and name would keep him ahead of the competition. But, Musk wasn't sweating it at all. On July 23, he rebranded "the company formerly known as Twitter" and named it X. The bird logo was dismissed f rom duty as well. Today, X has 353 million users, and Threads is unraveling like a cheap suit. Musk is clearly having fun with X. In April, Musk swapped out the Twitter logo with the Shiba Inu dog emoji, much to the consternation of social media purists who couldn't understand what nerve Musk must have. Answer? A lot.

From January 28 until February 4, 2023, a highly advanced Chinese spy balloon flew over the U.S. At the time, the Pentagon claimed that the balloon “did not collect intelligence while it was transiting the United States or overflying the United States.” However, it was later disclosed that the balloon gathered intelligence f rom several sensitive American military sites and transmitted that information back to Beijing in real time. After much pressure on President Biden to do something about the spy balloon, the U.S. military shot it down on February 4 just off the coast of South Carolina. The balloon itself was massive, about 200 feet tall, and the payload attached to it was similar in size to a regional jetliner, weighing more than 2,000 pounds.

Affirmative Action On June 29, the U.S. Supreme Court in a 6-3 vote ruled that race can no longer be a consideration in the college admissions process. The court held that this practice, which seeks to correct historical racial wrongs, is itself racially discriminatory. Harvard and the University of North Carolina, who were parties in the case, argued that affirmative action is necessary to make sure that enough minority students are getting into their schools. Justice Clarence Thomas declared that programs that admit one race over the other “fly in the face of our colorblind Constitution and our nation’s equality ideal.”

Tucker Carlson

The popular primetime Fox News host signed off for the weekend on Friday, April 21 by wishing viewers the “best weekend” and telling them he’d be back on Monday. By Monday morning, he was fired. “FOX News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways,” the network said in a statement released by a spokesperson. “We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor.” Tucker moved his show to X before starting the Tucker Carlson Network in mid-December. The streaming service costs $9 a month, a small price to pay for his millions of loyal fans.

Ozempic

Weight loss drugs Ozempic, Wegovy and Mounjaro became all the rage in 2023, leading to a major supply shortage. In October, Elon Musk attributed his weight loss to Wegovy. Shares of Novo Nordisk, maker of Ozempic and Wegovy, climbed 40% since the beginning of 2023.

24 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

Orange Haze

New Yorkers wait all year for the bright late-June weather. But this year, on more than one occasion, we awoke to an orange haze caused by the Canadian wildfires. The toxic smoke resulted in unhealthy air quality, causing many to stay indoors. Over 45.7 million acres were burnt in the Canadian wildfire season this year, which finally ended in October.

Came and Went in Congress …

George Santos

On January 4, George Santos was sworn in to the House after winning the seat to represent New York’s 3rd Congressional district. The 34-year-old Republican was quickly exposed as a degenerate liar. His entertainment value kept growing as each new lie was exposed and explained away by him. Regarding his false claim that he is Jewish, he explained that he meant he was “Jew-ish,” meaning like a Jew. But it was not all good ol’ clean lying. In October, Santos was indicted for numerous crimes, including claims that he stole the identities of donors to his campaign and then used their credit cards to ring up tens of thousands of dollars in unauthorized charges. On December 1, Santos was expelled f rom the House of Representatives by a vote of 311-114, making him the sixth House member ever to be expelled f rom Congress. Santos did not waste any time getting back to work. His new job? Selling personalized Cameo videos for $200 a pop. His Cameo account bio refers to him as “Former congressional ‘Icon’!” Yes, he still has much pride. “Look, they can boot me out of Congress,” he declares in a video, “but they can’t take away my good humor or my larger-than-life personality.”

Kevin McCarthy

It took 15 ballots over four days for Rep. Kevin McCarthy to finally get the 216 votes he needed to become Speaker of the House. That was on January 7. But on October 2 , his nemesis Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla) filed a motion to have a vote taken on whether to oust McCarthy. McCarthy responded minutes later on social media, “Bring it on.” Gaetz replied, “Just did.” With the battle lines drawn, Gaetz was able to get seven other Republicans to join him and the entire Democratic caucus who all voted to give McCarthy the boot. What followed was a Republican dumpster fire as the caucus spent 22 days trying to elect a new leader. Capping a process that involved four nominees for Speaker, on October 25, Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA) nabbed the 215 votes needed and finally became the new Speaker of the House. On December 7, Rep. Kevin McCarthy announced that he is retiring f rom Congress by year’s end.

Shorts & Sweatshirts

In early September, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) directed the Senate’s Sergeant at Arms to no longer enforce the chamber’s formal dress code for its members. This was clearly aimed at allowing Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) to operate on the Senate floor in his signature gym shorts and hoodie. The move drew quick criticism. Sen. Cynthia Lummis (R-WY) told Fox News, “I’ve never seen civility enhanced or a sense of decorum enhanced by dressing like a slob.” Sen. Fetterman replied on NBC, “Aren’t there more important things we should be talking about rather than if I dress like a slob?” After severe pushback f rom senators on both sides of the aisle, the Senate by unanimous consent passed a resolution formalizing business attire as the proper dress code for the floor of the chamber.

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JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

Is Colorado Depriving Trump of Due Process? Lou Shapiro

n a 4-3 ruling the Colorado State Supreme Court ruled that Trump’s role in the Jan. 6 attack constituted insurrection and ordered his name be removed from the Presidential ballot. They based their ruling on Section 3 of the 14th Amendment which was added to the Constitution after the Civil War. It was written to prevent former leaders of the Confederacy from regaining power and provides that,“No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may, by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.” Trump is appealing their ruling to the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals. Oral arguments are scheduled for January 9th, 2024. Legal scholars and political columnists disagree on the ruling. In an L.A. Times Op-ed piece, UC Berkeley Dean Erwin Chemerinsky wrote, “the Colorado Supreme Court did the country an enormous service by ruling that Donald Trump is ineligible to be president and squarely presenting the constitutional issue before the U.S. Supreme Court. The high court should take the case and decide quickly whether Donald Trump is disqualified from the ballot because of Section 3 of the 14th Amendment. It would be a political nightmare to resolve this question after Trump wins the Republican nomination or even worse, after he’s elected president.” It happens to be that he was one of several constitutional law professors who filed a friend of the court brief with the Colorado Supreme Court to disqualify Donald Trump from the Colorado ballot. Alan Dershowitz, a defense attorney and Harvard academic who defended Trump during his Senate impeachment trial, has long argued that America’s court system is being weaponized to bring down former President Donald Trump in ways that violate civil liberties for all. In an interview with Forbes, Dershowitz argued that Tuesday’s Colorado Supreme Court ruling to exclude Trump from the state’s 2024 ballot sets an especially dangerous precedent. He said that,

26 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

this is an attempt to totally manipulate an amendment that was never designed to disqualify people in future election…Texas will try to take Biden off the ballot, saying he lent support to an insurrection by opening the borders—an absurd argument but not much more absurd than the argument that the four justices of the Colorado Supreme Court.” Kimberly Strassel of the Wall Street Journal also takes issue with Colorado ruling and described the ruling as “a laughable claim in its decision this week that it didn’t “lightly” reach its finding of Trump-as-insurrectionist and was “mindful of the magnitude and weight of the questions” and “solemn” about it. The opinion was in fact so wild—glossing over basic questions of due process, federalism and the Constitution—that three liberal justices strongly rejected it. The majority knew it would be left to the U.S. Supreme Court to clean up their mess.” Strassel then zooms out and makes the following observation: “There was a day when the professional class—in particular prosecutors and lower-court judges— cared about institutions at least as much as about winning. Not this crew. What makes their actions more deplorable is the cynical view that harming the high court is an added benefit, not a cost. They come amid a vicious campaign to vilify the court as partisan and corrupt. If the justices rule against Mr. Trump in these suits, the left accomplishes an immediate political goal. If they rule in Mr. Trump’s favor, the left smears the justices and ramps up its campaign to pack the court.” One of the most frustrating issues with the majority’s ruling is that they appear to be side-stepping due process. Due process means that before someone can be convicted, they have a right to be notified of the accusation and defend against it. That is most commonly done in the context of a trial with evidence and sworn testimony. It prevents people from being wrongfully judged for something they did not do. Justice Carlos A. Samour Jr. was one of the dissenters and focused on this point. The following quotes are from his dissent: “These astute words, [Due Process] uttered by U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Salmon P. Chase a century and a half ago, eloquently describe one of the bedrock principles of American democracy: Our government cannot deprive someone of the right to hold public office without due process of law. Even if we are convinced that a candidate committed horrible acts in the

past—dare I say, engaged in insurrection— there must be procedural due process before we can declare that individual disqualified from holding public office. Procedural due process is one of the aspects of America’s democracy that sets this country apart. The decision to bar former President Donald J. Trump by all accounts the current leading Republican presidential candidate (and reportedly the current leading overall presidential candidate)—from Colorado’s presidential primary ballot flies in the face of the due process doctrine. By concluding that Section 3 of the 14th Amendment is self-executing, the majority approves the enforcement of that federal constitutional provision by our state courts through the truncated procedural mechanism that resides in our state Election Code. Thus, based on its interpretation of Section 3, our court sanctions these makeshift proceedings employed by the district court below—which lacked basic discovery, the ability to subpoena documents and compel witnesses, workable timeframes to adequately investigate and develop defenses, and the opportunity for a fair trial—to adjudicate a federal constitutional claim (a complicated one at that) masquerading as a run-of-the-mill state Election Code claim. And because most other states don’t have the Election Code provisions we do, they won’t be able to enforce Section 3. That, in turn, will inevitably lead to the disqualification of President Trump from the presidential primary ballot in less than all fifty states, thereby risking chaos in our country. This can’t possibly be the outcome the framers intended. I recognize the need to defend and

protect our democracy against those who seek to undermine the peaceful transfer of power. And I embrace the judiciary’s solemn role in upholding and applying the law. But that solemn role necessarily includes ensuring our courts afford everyone who comes before them (in criminal and civil proceedings alike) due process of law. In my view, what transpired in this litigation fell woefully short of what due process demands. Because I perceive the majority’s ruling that Section 3 is self-executing to be the most concerning misstep in today’s lengthy opinion, I focus on that aspect of the legal analysis.” Former President Trump has been charged in 4 separate criminal cases, two of which include accusations of election interference. Of the 91 counts he is charged with, none of them allege that he was an insurrectionist. Several individuals who participated in the January 6th attack on the Capitol were charged with insurrectionism but Trump was not. Yet the Colorado State Supreme Court majority of justices claims to know better. The most important part of a closing argument is imparting to the jury how important and sacred the “proof beyond a reasonable doubt” standard is - that it doesn’t just protect the person that they are sitting in judgment on, but it protects everybody from being falsely convicted of something they did not do. And the failure to demand that standard on anyone will result in a lack of protection for everyone. ___________________________________ Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal analyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas Torah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail.com.

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If Not Now, When? The Importance of Living Wills Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody

n Parshat Vayechi, the Torah speaks for the first time of someone becoming sick before they die. The elderly Yaakov falls ill, prompting Yosef to bring his sons to receive blessings. According to the Talmud, until that point, there was no illness leading up to death; rather, one would die suddenly. Yaakov came and prayed for mercy, and illness was brought to the world, allowing one to prepare for his death (Bava Metzia 87a). Soon afterward, Yaakov commands Yosef regarding his burial wishes and leaves further blessings to all of his children. The story of Yaakov’s last days teaches that the opportunity to prepare for one’s own passing is a great opportunity and gift from God. Indeed, one of the lessons of the Yamim Nora’im is to confront our mortality. The Talmud teaches us that the

books of judgment are open during this period, while our most moving tefillot, such as U’netaneh Tokef, remind us that life is ephemeral. Asking “Who will live and who will die?” forces us to recognize that we can’t escape the ultimate day of judgment. Such recognition inspires us to repent and take life a bit more seriously. Even once Yom Kippur passes, confronting our mortality can help us live more meaningfully. Our great sages taught us throughout the centuries that it is appropriate to plan ahead for illness and death. Halacha permits and even encourages people to purchase burial plots (Kol Bo Avelut, Vol. 1, p. 174), tombstones, and burial shrouds (Aruch HaShulchan YD 339:5) in advance. In fact, Rabbi Yosef Karo even allowed people to dig their own graves, provided that they were not in

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such a mental state that thinking about death could harm them physically or emotionally (Beit Yosef YD 339). Similarly, both Rabbi Chaim Falagi and the Chafetz Chaim urged people to sign a financial will and testament while they are healthy, in the spirit of the famous dictum of the Sages, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?” There’s no reason to leave these decisions to others. These sources make clear that advanced directives are the most prudent way to receive one’s desired wishes while also avoiding unnecessary family strife. In our times, it is critically important for people to sign an advance healthcare proxy and directive. Many choices must be made as people age or approach the end of life. People may no longer be able to speak for themselves,

and sometimes decisions must be made quickly. These can be cases of terminal illness, like an aggressive form of cancer, or a progressive or degenerative disease, like Alzheimer’s or ALS. People may suffer sudden and drastic changes to their health, such as a heart attack or car accident. Or as so frequently happens, they must cope with aging and increasing frailty, with many nagging ailments. In any circumstance, healthcare providers need to know that you want your decisions to be made within the framework of Jewish law. The default decision of what someone else might deem to be in “your best interest” may not coincide with Jewish values. Your family members need to know who should be making these decisions on your behalf. They also need to know

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which rabbi to consult with if there are halachic questions regarding certain treatments. Various organizations, including the Rabbinical Council of America and Agudath Israel, have created these forms in the past. My own organization, Ematai, recently undertook the task of creating a document that can provide you with decision-making clarity along your healthcare journey. The document, called Netivot (“pathways”), was created by myself and Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with the input of many doctors, social workers, rabbis, and lawyers. It has received the endorsement of Rabbi Hershel Schachter and Rabbi Mordechai Willig and has been distributed by many rabbinic organizations like the Rabbinical Council of America and the Rabbinic Alliance of America (Igud) Chaplaincy Commission. Netivot, which is found online (ematai.org/netivot), has two sections: The first part is an advance healthcare directive that designates your proxy (and alternates), recommends the rabbi they should consult with, and declares that you want end-of-life decision making made in accordance with Jew-

ish law and custom. It is a user-friendly document that can be easily filled out online or in print. Once it is signed, this is a formal legal document that will be respected by healthcare providers and hospitals. The second document is a conversation guide to talk about your healthcare goals and values. It gives people the opportunity to express their general decision-making preferences. These aren’t easy conversations to have, but they are critical to help your proxy and rabbi better understand your goals and preferences so they can better apply them to each unique situation. It is also a gift to your loved ones, as it will help prevent family tensions and guilt caused by uncertainty and speculation about your values and preferences. Meaningful conversations about life and death can bring families together. Whichever document you choose to use, the best time to take the initiative is today. Im Lo Achshav, Ematai? For if not now, when? __________________________________

Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody is the executive director of Ematai, dedicated to helping Jews navigate their healthcare journey with Jewish wisdom. He will be presenting Ematai’s healthcare directive at the advance healthcare & financial planning fair at YICC on Sunday morning, Jan 7th. www. Ematai.org/LA.

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Still Learning from Sharon Shenker Niva Taylor

he above are just a few of the life lessons Rebbetzin Sharon Shenker taught and embodied, and which her hundreds of students and friends now carry in their hearts. Her untimely passing one year ago left a gaping void in our community. “There have been so many times over the past year when I’ve felt I needed to talk to Sharon,” Rebbetzin Chana Heller, her long-time partner at Aish LA’s Jewish Women’s Initiative relates. This is a sentiment that has been echoed by so many. But instead of turning to her for advice as we did in the past, we now reflexively ask ourselves, “what would Sharon do?” hoping to access the clarity, empathy and deep wisdom that were her signature traits. We are still learning from Sharon Shenker. Her first yahrzeit, which falls on Rosh Chodesh Shvat, will see women from all over Los Angeles gathering at Aish HaTorah to pay tribute to a beloved rebbetzin, teacher, therapist, mentor and friend. The evening, planned as a major unity event, will feature Torah learning and bonding as a way of honoring her bril-

liant legacy. “Sharon wanted to have a Jewish unity event for quite some time,” says Chana. “She was all about unity, love and acceptance.” The love and joy Sharon exuded were keys to her transformative impact. After discovering Torah Judaism on an Aish trip to Israel as a British university student, Sharon spent her life determined to pay that precious gift forward to as many disconnected Jews as she could pos-

The Jewish Women’s Initiative “Sharon lived the example we all wanted to emulate,” remarks Lisa Kodimer, a 2011 JWI Israel trip participant who became a close friend. As co-founder and co-director of the JWI, Sharon, together with Chana, had the privilege of leading yearly trips to Israel for groups of 40-50 moms across the spectrum of observance, introducing many participants to Torah and the land of Israel for the very first time. “Sharon was an orthodox rockstar,” says Lisa. “She was a happy person and really had a contagious personality - there was no way you could not be happy around her.” On one trip, recalls Chana, after landing in Ben Gurion airport and boarding the bus with all the women, Sharon turned to her, and with her trademark energy, enthused “Chana, we have the best job ever.” “She was so savoring what was ahead of us - the chance to experience Israel through the eyes of all these moms. She loved facilitating it.”

Sheri Levy met Sharon for the first time on one such bus ride. “I came into JWI when someone else dragged me on this trip,” Sheri remembers. “I didn’t feel I was Jewish enough.” But Sharon saw something else. “She sat next to me on the bus and said ‘I can see your neshama.’ At the time I didn’t even know what a neshama was. But I wanted to be what she saw emerging in me.” Sharon seemed to have a sixth sense about people. She could perceive, without a word being exchanged, what each person in her immediate surroundings needed at any given moment, and she would provide it with kindness and warmth. “Sharon drew out everyone’s potential,” says Ali Peck, who developed a personal connection to the three women’s mitzvos of family purity, Shabbos candles and challah baking after a transformative JWI trip. “She saw things in people they couldn’t see themselves.” Ali, a reproductive endocrinologist, was so inspired by Sharon’s teachings that she dreams of one day building a mikvah wellness center in Israel, where women can “be and discover who they are and become all they are meant to be while on this earth;” a gift she feels Sharon gave to her.

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sibly reach. Animated by a burning desire to grow in all she did, Sharon came to personify the lessons she taught, which meant that the greatest teaching she could possibly give over was her essence.

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Impacting Families Sharon’s ripple effect went beyond the women in her program. “When we did classes at people’s homes,” Chana shares, “she wouldn’t just leave when the class was over. She loved getting to know everyone - the kids, the whole family. She just cared so much.” When Sheri and her husband began incorporating Jewish observance into their home life, they wanted to get their 11-year-old son Brandon on board. “He had a lot of unanswered questions,” says Sheri. Sharon offered to help, meeting with Brandon for a cup of tea. Rather than give a sales pitch for Jewish religious practice, Sharon mostly listened, making Brandon feel heard and valued for who he was right then. “I don’t know what she said to him but afterwards he said ‘If that’s Judaism then I want more of that.’ She was able to reach him on his level.” Sheri went on to create a custom bar mitzvah program for Brandon, with 13 Aish teachers imparting their wisdom in preparation for the big milestone. “Without Sharon’s influence I don’t know if he would have had a bar mitzvah,” she says. A Community Leader While Sharon’s gift for reaching non-observant Jews was legendary, she also made an indelible mark on the Pico Robertson community, whether as an Aish Rebbetzin, LINK Torah teacher, kallah teacher, or co-founder, with her husband Rabbi Motti Shenker, of the Jewish Marriage Institute. Having learned for years under the close tutelage of Rebbetzin Denah Weinberg a”h of Eyaht, Sharon’s foundation was deeply sourced, and she taught with a confidence born of intense conviction. A remarkably candid teacher, Sharon often shared her own vulnerabilities in order to help her students connect with the material. Moreover, her demeanor conveyed caring for every individual present, which was very disarming. This created a relaxed atmosphere, with everyone comfortable just being themselves. “Sharon broke barriers between people,” asserts Rebbetzin Batyah Brander. “The message was always - leave your self consciousness at the door, come in, be yourself and do what your neshama wants. Let’s break the barriers that prevent us from being in the moment. Her shiurim created achdus, meaning, learning and inspiration.” Everyone felt important around Sharon. Everyone felt close. “The way she taught it felt like hanging out with a wiser friend,” says Abby Symonds, who attended her classes both at Aish and LINK. “She was always teaching you something with a smile. It was so enjoyable, fun and engaging.” A Mentor and a Friend Being both a teacher and a friend was no contradiction. “I don’t think it’s so easy to be both a rebbetzin and a friend at once,” Abby comments. “But with Sharon the two were not separate identities. I could stop by and hang out on the couch and talk to her. It never felt like she was drawing a line between us. There was reverence with approachability. Additionally, she had a rare and incredible ability to use humor, sensitivity and honesty to make people feel comfortable asking personal questions. She also was really good at having fun, which was great to see in a teacher and rebbetzin. She was a great role model.” Rebbetzin Carli Becker, who looked up to Sharon as both a mentor and a friend, concurs. “She made you feel like a million bucks. She was so nonjudgmental and reassuring,” she relates. “Nothing is weird, nothing is strange. You could tell her anything and she’d be rooting for you.” Sharon’s lack of judgmentalism was broadly applied. “Once I was on the phone with her and she was in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s. The checker made a mean comment, which I heard on my end of the line. Do you know what her response was? ‘He must be having a hard day.’”

This deeply ingrained compassion helped her understand people of all ages. “‘Carli, it’s all anxiety,” Sharon would say whenever the former would approach her about something that was going on with her kids. “Whether the kids were acting out or upset about something, she had such an empathic way of framing it. She helped me learn to figure out the root cause of the behaviors.” Light in the Darkness “Sharon’s light, even on the darkest days, didn’t dim,” Lisa reflects, referring to Sharon’s eight-month battle with cancer that eventually took her life. “When she was sick, my best friend Sarah and I took her to lunch at Pico Cafe. We wheeled her there in a wheelchair, and she was laughing the whole time. Everyone at Pico Cafe knew her and were coming over to greet her.” She had a hug, a smile, and a kind word for everyone. Lisa was deeply moved by Sharon’s irrepressible spirit, even in the face of devastating illness. “She really taught us how to be happy.” “Sharon wore this shirt that said ‘Cancer is big but I’m bigger,” Batyah recalls. “She just battled until she couldn’t battle anymore. Every little accomplishment was celebrated. She had so much gratitude every step of the way.” “Chazal tell us sof davar hakol nishma - until you evaluate a person at the end of their life you really can’t get a complete picture of who they were,” remarks Rabbi Asher Brander. “Sharon was a mashpia in every way.” “Perhaps the greatest way to understand Sharon,” says Rabbi Brander, “was that she lived with a shleimus. She had a unity of purpose. She had many different facets to her life. She was teaching, she was interacting with the JWI, she had her therapy practice. She was a wonderful wife and mother and taught shalom bayis as well. But with all the frenetic pace of her life she was a person who lived with a simcha, an achdus and that’s because she didn’t view her different roles as being different realities.” “They were all part of being an ovedes Hashem.” May her memory be a blessing. For more information about the yahrzeit event contact Chana@aishla.com. Reservations requested.

Sharon Taught Me… • How it’s possible to be a frum, dedicated, consistent eved Hashem while also maintaining an incredible level of vibrancy, individuality, and joy. • Be the kind of person who your spouse and kids want to come home to. • A quick smile, a little joke, a sympathetic ear may improve the day of another person within seconds. You don’t even need to know the person. • The busiest people always have time for others. • Always make people feel wanted, special, and included. • When I wasn’t thrilled about wearing a sheitel, I’d remember how Sharon would say we are Queens and it’s our crown!! • Don’t wait for anyone’s green light to help. When you are at a Simcha, just help where it’s needed. • Focus on the wonderful things about other people whenever you are with them - and share those things out loud to everyone present! • Look at your own reflection and smile at yourself instead of being self critical! • Each day I practice taharas hamishpacha is a gem and to seize the opportunity which is only available for a certain number of years.

JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

Dear D ni Dini Gres

Dear Dini, My elderly parents want to maintain their independence, but I worry about their safety. What can I do to strike a balance between their freedom and their well-being?

ear Reader, Thank you for reaching out to ask me this question as I have been hearing so many of my own friends asking this question lately. I want to bring two aspects of my own life to this answer, and I am hoping both will help you in this stage you find yourself in. I am a licensed Administrator for Assisted Living. I work very closely with families who are grappling with the decision to put their parents into an Assisted Living facility. I also moved to Los Angeles in 2007 to take care of my elderly in-laws, in their own home, at a time when they were losing their independence and yet wanted it very much at the same time. Professionally, I would tell you safety always comes first. Are they physically able to be on their own? Is their safety compromised if they are alone in the home with no care? When you visit them, what do you notice that leads you to believe that they cannot maintain their independence? You would need to consider all these questions and assess the situation. From one day to the next, the status of an elderly parent can change, whether you’re in front of them or not. If for now they are physically safe, and their mental status is intact, meaning there is no dementia or early onset of Alzheimer’s, then I would let them have their independence. It would benefit both you and them to have consistent weekly visits. This way, they learn to expect you and you can see for yourself how or if their health declines. When you are there and you are speaking with them, engage in a way that displays your trust in them and your respect to have their independence. If something should change, be prepared to have backup ready and waiting, and to do that you would want to research caregiving agencies or the possibility of extra cleaning help in the home. If they need help with their finances, are you or a sibling aware of what’s going on to step in if needed? For their safety, take a look around their home: Are the stairs too difficult

32 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

to climb? Is their bathroom safe and set up should they need to “lean” on something? You can start to introduce extra help into the conversation by ways of how it can be to assist but not because they need it. The language of the conversations will no doubt be key in navigating your way towards the future. When I moved in with my mother-in-law (and that’s a book waiting to be written), I learned firsthand what the fear is for our elderly parents. It stretches between someone wanting you to be there because they need your help, to the moments where it becomes a reality that they can no longer do for themselves. It is painful to watch and for them to go through it. It is agonizing to watch the mother or father you once knew to be strong and vital slowly decline. Watching this firsthand for ten years, I can say the biggest thing that you can do is to listen to them, take their cues, and sometimes work your magic behind the scenes. Sometimes someone showing up to “visit” could be the greatest person to check in on your parents, but if you told them that someone was coming to do just that, they could get insulted or annoyed. If you made a meal for them and told them you don’t want them handling the stove or oven, they would maybe get insulted, so you have to figure out a way to be clever about it, maybe go over and cook with them. Allow them their freedom because if that’s what they want they should have it, but if you know it will be a detriment to their safety, start taking the house apart with your mind and thinking of ways you can help them that doesn’t seem obvious. With my parents who are very far away living in Israel, I speak with them often and listen for cues that tell me they may or may not need help. And when the need arises, I will find a way that does not directly show a display of taking away their independence. Sometimes they argue when I want to do something for them that I know will help them, and I stand my ground and

say “I love you, you were always there for me, and I want to do this for you.” My coaching clients will tell you that I don’t like the word “balance” because life doesn’t always balance out. There are hard and easy days, there are functional and dysfunctional days. It is getting through any day that we must find the energy to get through it. This time in your parents’ life could start out okay and easy for you, and it could turn challenging at a moment’s notice. Take each day as it comes and check in on them. Be a sounding board for them while listening for cues of a decline. The strain of an elderly parent tugs at your heart and that is one hundred percent normal, but don’t forget to use your brain as well. If need be, consult your Rav, as there are a lot of halachos concerning an elderly parent. I remember watching how one adult child couldn’t take the pain of their elderly parent and therefore couldn’t make coherent decisions for them in a crucial

time of need. Just as a child needs a parent to be strong and have structure to raise them, a parent needs a child to have a heart for what they are going through, and at the same time, be smart to utilize the right tools if needed. Proceed with care and love, and remember we all get there at some point, so what would you want from your children? -Dini

__________________________________ Adina (Dini) Gres, a multifaceted professional and family woman, seamlessly combines her roles as a wife, mother of four adult daughters, business owner, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. At the helm of Financial Concierge LLC, Adina brings a unique perspective to both personal and financial coaching, emphasizing the critical role of a healthy mindset in achieving success. Her insightful approach helps clients shift their life narratives towards positive outcomes. Beyond her coaching, Adina extends her expertise through her engaging podcast, “Things I Think You Should Know,” and shares valuable insights on her Instagram page @financialconcierge, making her a source of inspiration and practical advice for a wide audience. For submissions to the “Dear Dini” column, please send your questions to editor@thelajewishhome.com

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Chani Heyman

Dear Chani, If I don’t give my 4 year old what she is requesting, she makes very hurtful comments. She will say “I’m going to punish you,” “You are the worst mother,” and even “I hate you.” What is the proper response? Should I punish her for this behavior?

Thank you for reaching out. Handling your 4-year-old’s hurtful comments can be challenging. Hurtful comments, disrespect, and chutzpah are subjective, and what one considers hurtful may not universally hold true for others. I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that this is your oldest child. Generally, a mother who has an older child and a 4 year old who is making these types of comments, usually thinks the 4 year old is pretty amusing. As opposed to a first time mom, who feels these phrases are breaking her heart. While I do not dismiss your feelings of offense, it is essential to recognize the subjectivity of these expressions. If your child’s behavior does not extend beyond the home environment and is not indicative of a broader issue with disrespect, adopting a more lenient approach may prove beneficial for everyone involved. However, if it is hurtful to you, then you must teach her not to say these comments. How do we teach a child not to be disrespectful? 1. Define Define: First, clearly define what phrases are unacceptable, such as “I hate you, mommy.” Clarity is crucial. 2. Give an alternative. Alternative: Then you must give her an alternative expression. The children do need a way to express themselves and their emotions. If you don’t like the phrases that come out when they are upset, teach them

acceptable ones. Maybe, “I’m so upset!” Or is “I don’t like you” acceptable? It’s up to you to figure out alternative phrases because the children do need to be able to communicate their feelings. Once you have taught these 2 steps to your child, it becomes a rule in your home, and your child would need to be punished if she would say those specific hurtful phrases. One last thought: In many instances, when kids argue and one complains, “she

called me a baby” or “she said she’s never going to let me play,” a typical response is, “She doesn’t mean that,” or “just ignore her, and she’ll stop.” Yet, do we follow our own advice? When our child makes petty comments, we may assert “disrespect!” If we think the children are capable of ignoring such “hurtful” phrases, then shouldn’t we model that same confidence and be able to overlook a few slight retorts from our 4 year old? Ignoring these comments also shows a level of confidence that you are not of-

fended by your child’s pettiness. You are confident in your role and know that she can’t actually “punish you.” You are above that. Distinguish between comments that genuinely hurt you and those you can overlook and then react accordingly. Good luck! ____________________________________ Chani Heyman is a parenting coach who has been giving parenting classes, based on the teaching of Rebbetzin Spetner, for over 9 years to hundreds of mothers across the US. You can reach her at chaniheyman@gmail.com. Follow Chani on Instagram for daily parentings tip @parentingwithchani.

JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home |

Chef Nir Weinblut

Mafrum (Potatoes Stuffed with Meat in a rich tomato sauce)

Ingredients: For the Potato Stuffing: • 4 large potatoes • 1 pound ground beef or lamb • 1 large onion, finely chopped • 2 cloves garlic, minced • 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley • 1 teaspoon ground cumin • 1 teaspoon paprika • Salt and pepper to taste For the Sauce: • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 1 onion, finely chopped • 2 cloves garlic, minced • 1 can (14 ounces) crushed tomatoes • 1 teaspoon ground coriander • 1 teaspoon ground cumin • 1 teaspoon paprika • Salt and pepper to taste • 2 cups beef or vegetable broth

i need help with my teen.

Directions: 1.

Prepare the Potatoes: • Peel the potatoes and cut them in half lengthwise. • Using a spoon, hollow out the center of each potato half, leaving a shell about 1/4 inch thick. Save the scooped-out potato for later. 2. Prepare the Filling: • In a bowl, mix the ground meat, chopped onion, minced garlic, chopped parsley, cumin, paprika, salt, and pepper until well combined. 3. Stuff the Potatoes: • Stuff each potato half with the meat mixture, pressing it down gently. Place the stuffed potatoes on a plate. 4. Prepare the Sauce: • In a large pot, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add chopped onion and minced garlic. Sauté until the onion is translucent. • Add crushed tomatoes, ground coriander, cumin, paprika, salt, and pepper. Cook the sauce for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. • Pour in the beef or vegetable broth, bring the mixture to a simmer, and let it cook for an additional 5 minutes. 5. Cook the Mafrum: • Carefully place the stuffed potatoes into the pot with the sauce. If needed, add more broth until the potatoes are halfway submerged in the liquid. • Cover the pot and simmer over medium heat for about 30-40 minutes or until the potatoes are tender and the meat is cooked through.

34 | JANUARY 4, 2024 | The LA Jewish Home

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