The Indian Standard | Summer Solstice 2023

the INDIAN

STANDARD SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023

BY JANANI

WITH

SKXNDA

ON HIS MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY, MUSIC & THE IMPORTANCE OF ART EDUCATION

DUTY THE PURSUIT, REDIRECTION, DIRECTION, REJECTION & JOURNEY OF COMING BACK TO YOUR PURPOSE

IN

THIS

ISSUE

SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023

pusillanimous ◦ ubiquitous ◦ indefatigable

5 THEME EXPLANATION Duty

By Janani

9

SHEVYA AWASTHI Singer An Interview

63 FABLE & MANE

Hair care company Founded by Akash & Nikita Mehta An Interview

25

RHEA SHETTY Photographer An Interview

41

SKANDA SRIGANESH

81 SLESHA PATEL Professional Model

An Interview

115 OUTER VOICE

Violinist

South Asian Record Label Founded

by JAM & Philly

An Interview

An Interview

THANKS 146 SPECIAL Thank you for being here A Statement By Janani

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the INDIAN STANDARD TRIGGER

WARNING

&

DISCLAIMER

This magazine may contain detailed information regarding anxiety, depression and suicide. Please read with caution.

The interviews, stories and entries in this magazine are included with the approval of the respective creators. All correspondence and interaction occurred prior to the publication of this issue.

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THEME

EXPLANATION

DUTY Dear Reader, We all have goals and dreams, wishes and desires. We work towards them in the ways we know how, trip over ourselves, go backwards and forwards, and sometimes, completely unaware of what the path in front of us looks like. I often think back to when I was 18 years old, I had just made the decision to go to business school and was about to start college in the fall. I had lists and lists of things I was going to accomplish, organizations I was going to be a part of, I even researched online for hours, may I add, how best to study in college. When I got there though, my mental health took a massive turn for the worse. I was depressed. At first, I thought it was just the various situations in my life, but now being 25 years old, I can say that I still battle with the strings of pain I was combatting then. If you had asked me at 18 what my duty was, I would have said to be the most successful business woman I know, to be the "boss". Now, if you ask me what my duty is, I would say to be happy; to go through life and understand that the pathway to peace is one that you have to choose everyday.

This issue explores this concept with the use of several influential creatives in the South Asian space. We understand collectively that dreams and goals are important and that to strive and work towards them and ultimately achieve those goals brings the utmost fulfillment. However, is this your duty? Is your duty and purpose so known to you that you can package it into whatever business you're creating, whatever interests you are pursuing, the path you are on? Is that your purpose? Or is your purpose to smile every day, to feel the sun when you go on walks, to hug your family and friends closely? Answering what your duty is can be tough, but that's the point because maybe it isn't the work you do or who you are around, but rather choosing peace, happiness, and love with and without the success of our earthly goals.

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MIND pusillanimous

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THEME

EXPLANATION

DUTY

pusillanimous

(adj) lacking courage and resolution "You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty." (Bhagavad Gita 2:47)

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INTRODUCING

SHEVYA AWASTHI

@SHEVTHEHEV

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SHEVYA AWASTHI

& HER JOURNEY WITH MUSIC Learning and understanding music is an art that is highly regarded in South Asian homes. As kids, we are pushed into the arts by our parents, and as we grow up, we are left with making a choice on how heavily the arts will influence our lives. Today, we sit with Shevya Awasthi to learn more about her journey with music, her transmutation of challenging emotions, and her mentality surrounding duty.

Shevya started learning Hindustani music when she was just ten years old and is still taking classes today. She recounts situations familiar to many South Asians, “I have had stage fright my whole life growing up, and I never liked singing in front of aunties and uncles, but my parents pushed me through it.”

Shevya chose to continue her music path in college. She joined an acapella group where she was surrounded by fellow musicians who helped motivate her to pursue music again. Namely, Varun Jhunjhunwalla and Shankara Srikantan assisted in her sound and pushed her to songwriting.

However, she recounts, “When I was on the acapella team, because I was surrounded by so many amazing artists, I fell into a bad habit of comparing myself. I became very, very insecure in college. Throughout my entire time on the acapella team, I developed a poor relationship with music. I almost got to a point where I stopped singing altogether because I just got so in my head, thinking I wasn't good enough and ‘what's the point in singing when there are so many other amazing artists?’”

Sometimes the things we are passionate about can instill a comparison in our heads. No matter how much we may love what we do, a part of us will feel like there is someone out there doing it better. This comparison can come from many places and create a range of feelings that we trace back to ourselves. Music is one of the most powerful art forms, and with that comes a degree of reverence. That reverence can also make us feel as if we are inadequate in some aspect, as Shevya experienced. This profound impact that a passion like music can have comes from a desire to be “the best.” Desires like that, and so many others, often shape the way we see the world and move through it as humans.

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We as people have a natural inclination toward what we choose to do with our lives. Our interests are so vast, and our desires and talents control our path. As we go through life’s challenges, our desires and wishes would seem to scream in our minds louder and louder and influence how we want to conduct our lives. Challenges, along with successes, allow us to connect with ourselves, thereby forcing us to act on our truest desires. However, doubt can be our biggest enemy as we attempt to grow closer to ourselves.

This world has a way of showing us our largest flaws, restricting us from what we truly want. Comparison has a way of seeping into our minds, but finding ways to transmute that energy can be extremely powerful. Shevya chose to do just this...

Around 2019-2020, she graduated from the acappella team and went through a breakup at the same time and found she needed an outlet to process her emotions. Songwriting proved to be a valuable channel for her as she was able to create original content without the hassle of comparing herself with others. With songwriting, “I can only compare against my previous self, and that became a healthier outlet to develop a better relationship with music again. I didn't have anybody to compare myself to as songwriting is entirely original.”

She was able to create a pathway that allowed her to not only understand and transmute her emotions into something that allowed her to feel free, but was able to do so in a way that served her community. She says, “I grew up with this culture… at the end of the day, I just really want to share it with the rest of the world. I don't know if this is maybe because I'm South Asian, but I feel like when it comes to our culture in the West particularly, I feel like we tend to get overlooked a lot.” She verbalizes further on her desire for more representation and discusses the importance of having South Asians in mainstream media and feels it to be her duty to improve this. “One of my goals is that I want to show the world that South Asians can also be in the media.” She notes that we are usually seen as the butt of the joke and says, “We don't have to be like the comic relief or the scientists. We can be creative; we can be singers, dancers, actors, and not [just] side characters.”

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RAGINI JHA

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LOCAL COLOR | VOLUME 4

Aunty Jokes: We’re Laughing at Our Own Expense The aunty stereotype is a popular trope in both Indian and Western media. These middleaged, South Asian women are often typecast as silly and overbearing, with an unwavering desire to control others. Recent examples of this caricature can be seen in the Netflix series Mismatched, and movies like 2 States and The Big Sick. All of the mothers in these productions are shown to be loud, dramatic, and emotionally manipulative. The problem doesn't always lie within the caricature itself. Lots of people, myself included, make jokes about the funny things their family members do. The consequence of the Aunty stereotype in particular, however, is the way it perpetuates regressive ideas and ultimately pits women against each other. As we work towards creating more diverse, empowering representations of South Asians, it is important to understand the impact of this generalisation.

The Aunty is often depicted in contrast to the "modern woman". Though both women are fighting against an oppressive system in their own way, audiences are pushed to root for one while ridiculing the other. This results in a dismissal of the unique challenges faced by different generations, and undermines the pervasive influence of patriarchal norms.

Furthermore, it does not serve younger women to perpetuate these jokes. Bonnie Burstow, the author of Radical Feminist Therapy, talks about the internalisation of misogyny in the context of father-daughter relationships: “Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, and cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate.” This quote demonstrates the process of daughters absorbing sexist beliefs - they may be more educated, more well equipped in many ways, but ultimately experience the same oppression as the generations before them.

This learned helplessness[1] is sometimes demonstrated through the patriarchal bargain[2], a strategy employed by women to navigate a system that is inherently against them, often visible in relationships with in-laws.

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LOCAL COLOR | VOLUME 4

In a society where a woman's worth is linked to her relationship with men, this bargain becomes a necessary means of self-preservation. This extends to things like the “obsession with marriage” stereotype; it is rooted in a perceived financial and physical security that comes with finding a partner. While this does not excuse regressive narratives, it is a way to understand how these dynamics form.

Abusive behaviour from older people cannot be justified under any circumstances. Many elders continue to propagate antiquated beliefs about gender roles and can cause significant psychological harm. Addressing these patterns is not solely the responsibility of younger people, and there is no denying the toxicity often perpetuated by older generations. The issue, however, lies in society’s eagerness to project that trauma disproportionately onto older women. Ridiculing an accent or a lack of opportunities reinforces a power imbalance that impacts women of all generations, but wasn’t created by any of us.

More than anything, it’s important to recognize what we all have in common. Many of these jokes are reinforcing the same suffocating norms that younger generations are trying to battle - implying that aunties are hysterical and unintelligent is a stereotype that the patriarchy already tries to impose on all women. Mothers, for example, are either in a state of eternal suffering (think Jaya Bachchan in K3G) or heavily contributing to the suffering of others.

Our proximity to men should never have been what defines our freedom and success.

By acknowledging a shared history, along with each generation’s unique struggles, we can begin to empower each other. This can include outreach that is more accessible to different generations and gives us a chance to connect, share experiences, and help each other see the patterns that ultimately serve the patriarchy. As these conversations become more nuanced, there are healthier representations of older women in South Asian movies (Sri Devi’s character in English Vinglish and Neena Gupta Badhai Ho are two such examples).

It’s essential that we work together - this means listening actively and choosing how to respond. Sometimes, this entails walking away from conversations that are not enabling progress. Other times, it means reminding each other of our shared duty to the future, cutting ties with our obligation to the past.

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DUTY PURPOSE PROGRESS ORANGE BROWN MIND BODY JOURNEY TRANSMUTATION

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SOUL DESIRE REPRESENTATION ARTIST HOME GOALS DREAMS INFLUENCE WISHES

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AN INTERVIEW WITH

RHEA SHETTY

@RHEA.SHETTY

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Social media has, weirdly enough, always been my safe place. When we moved from New York, to a rural town in Central Washington, there weren't many Indians around us. Luckily, I grew up with the internet and the ability to connect with people online- it was a privilege. I built an attachment to it in a way. I would post on Instagram, share what I was going through and did it because it brought me genuine happiness and joy. I've always been that way, even before I gained a following.

When TikTok came around, it was around the time that I was applying to med school and studying for the MCAT, which was all very strenuous. That was also around when COVID hit, so I did what I always did on social media: share everything. I had a couple of videos that went viral, which was so weird, because I really just thought of it as talking to myself. There wasn't anyone there to listen, and then one day, people started listening. I gained a following very quickly- maybe 100K in eight months?

Because of the unintentionality of it all, I wouldn't say there is a particular niche I am a part of. On one side I had people following me to follow me through Public Health Grad School or my med school journey and pursuit of becoming a physician. On the other hand, I gained followers because I would candidly talk about things like intergenerational trauma, identity, and being South Asian. A very diverse amalgamation of people made up my audience, but that's how I ended up being propelled into the South Asian creator space.

I have definitely taken a step back since then because, well, the Internet is a very un-nuanced place, and the things I was talking about were very nuanced. As I mentioned, I was very authentic on all my platforms, and that authenticity mattered a lot to me. That meant, however, that when I experienced hate or criticism, it hit me a lot harder than I expected.

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ISSUES WITH THE SOUTH ASIAN SPACE WHY IT'S DIFFICULT TO FIND COMMUNITY Through social media, I've built an incredible community of people on the Internet and inperson friends. The conversations I've had with people from my audience are just as affirming to me as my content might be affirming to them, because it's letting me know that people are going through the same thing; I’m not alone in what I’m feeling.

At the same time, the lack of nuance makes it so it's different having a conversation online, than if we're talking about things face to face.

For example, I would talk about familial and generational trauma, difficulties I was having with my parents, the process of validating my emotional struggles, and things I realized I had to unpack from my childhood. While it’s important to note that I did grow up very privileged, and I am aware of that and unbelievably grateful, I have had negative experiences that have impacted me. I also have incredibly strong and beautiful relationships with my parents, family, and culture. I love it, appreciate it, and am proud of it. But sometimes, the cultural criticisms that I shared existing alongside the love I have for my culture didn’t sit well with people, and they made sure I knew it.

Talking about this kind of stuff on social media was equally as hard as it was validating, because of the influx of people who had really negative experiences. They would project that onto me. I remember them saying extreme things, like I needed to cut off my family. It's challenging to process hundreds of people telling you that your family is horrible or that I’m being pushed down a career path I didn’t actually choose, all based on a 30 second video they happened to come across on Tiktok. The people making these comments didn't actually know me, yet I couldn’t let go of the things they were saying.

For every person who validated an experience, there was one who did the opposite. Having tens of thousands of people invalidating your experience and projecting their issues onto you can be overwhelming. Seeing so many of them giving input on deeply personal aspects of my life when they didn't have a complete picture of me or my story led me no longer posting that type of content on TikTok. This significantly impacted my whole journey, because you have to prepare for an influx of opinions from strangers if you want to start posting. It's hard enough authentically navigating an online presence without the complexities of culture and community coming into play. I believe that complexity, tied with certain cultural stigmas, and the diversity of experience throughout the community is why it might feel hard to find that true sense of “community”.

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REPRESENTATION:

MAKING ROOM FOR MORE NUANCED CONVERSATIONS We’ve had this ongoing conversation about representation amongst ourselves, and at this point a lot of the space is oversaturated with the same perspectives. Mindy Kaling, Lilly Singh, Baljeet from Phineas and Ferb, etc. That's what we had as representation in the media. Now, our community is evolving, and in some ways, it’s amazing.

We're seeing an influx of Indian representation in a way we haven't seen before, and now, we don't have to rely as much on what we grew up with. Granted, I would never want to minimize the positive impact that people like Mindy or Lilly have had on members of the community and the industry as a whole. It would be remiss to act like they haven’t paved the way for some people. But, having this minimal representation in Western media often meant that any negative perceptions of it are met with backlash. We are told to not criticize and are forced to be grateful for what we do have. If we have something negative to say, it makes us misogynistic, however valid the criticism being brought up.

For all the good that came with their rise to fame, it cannot be denied that there is a lot of damage done as well. They often pushed negative stereotypes that, growing up, I didn't realize I still harbored. How is it fair that people are not allowed to push for something better?

These conversations aren’t mutually exclusive. I can criticize the people who “represent” us without minimizing their contributions to the community. That is how we can push for more diversity of representation. Even now, a lot of the representation we see amongst content creators are predominantly fair-skinned, thin individuals- a lot of them North Indian and Hindu. One of the biggest issues is that we can’t put the onus on a handful of individuals to authentically and accurately reflect a region that is made up of a multitude of ethnicities, religions, and cultures.

Until I watched Bridgerton, I didn't realize what about the representation we have had didn’t sit well with me. Up until now, most of the Indian characters we grew up seeing were just that. Like, that was their thing… being “the brown character.” Anything about their personality or goals was steeped or rooted in their ethnicity, which looking back on it, was often the butt of the joke. In Bridgerton, they did an incredible job of authentically and subtly integrating culture, tradition, and Indian identity into their characters, without making it a big deal. That was powerful.

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WHAT IS INDIA?

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I grew up in a space where the perception of India was postcolonial.

Somehow a region with dozens of languages and hundreds of ethnic groups was connected by an arbitrary border that was drawn by a third party group. Growing up, I faced a lot of confusion navigating this, even when I started undergrad and made a lot more Indian friends. I never expected to sit in a room of people who were also children of the diaspora and defend my experiences as someone who was South Indian. We were all “Indian” but there were differences in the holidays we celebrated, the languages we spoke, and the food we ate.

One of the first responses I will get when I discuss negative experiences I have had as someone who is South Indian, is some variation of “Why are you dividing us? Shouldn’t you work on unifying us instead of pushing a divide?” That begs the question, why is it pushing a divide when communities that have normally not been at the forefront finally start to speak about their grievances?

I also speak from the standpoint of someone who may be South Indian, but is also incredibly privileged. I can’t speak for or represent the dozens of other communities that have otherwise been marginalized or face certain systemic barriers, and I won’t try to.

To me, India is anything but homogenous, it is rich with diversity. It is a diversity that deserves to be recognized and appreciated, but as it stands, there are many people who feel similarly to me- compelled to identify as something other than “just Indian”, in order to validate experiences that have often been overlooked.

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I D E N T I T Y

For a long time, I didn't have many South Asian people around me. I sought connection through things like Bollywood, or the occasional YouTubers- both of which have their well known caveats. Very little of what I consumed was South Indian, however. Even when I started at UCLA, a lot of what I was immersed in was North Indian cultures. There was a disconnect for me on what it meant to be Indian- it meant one thing when I was with my family or at home, but another thing when I was looking at media or meeting friends in college. The differences were small but significant, especially when I realized that a lot of the people I was surrounded by couldn’t resonate with things I experienced like growing up with darker skin, or not speaking Hindi, and how that impacted my connection with my identity. Things might have been different if I’d grown up in a close-knit community that had a shared sense of understanding about these nuances, but again, I was in central Washington for some of the most formative years of my life- I didn’t have that.

When I began using social media and gaining followers on TikTok, I interacted with a lot more South Indians, and noticed so many similarities to my culture- the culture I would experience at home, or whenever we would go back to Karnataka.

I felt seen and validated. South India is a beautiful and vibrant region that is often overlooked in the broader category of “India”. The Western perception of India tends to focus heavily on North Indian Hindu cultures, and as a result, I didn't have a community of people to share my culture, traditions, and heritage. This issue is so common within the South Asian space, not just with South Indians, but people from countries other than India as well.

We have so many cultures, languages, and regions within India that unless we shed light on all these cultures, we will intentionally be leaving people out of the conversation. Who are the people who tend to be promoted? People that fit the preconceived notion of what it means to be Indian, which actually empowered my transition to embracing and identifying as South Indian specifically. I also say all of this with the acute awareness and acknowledgement that I am incredibly incredibly privileged, and have experienced only a percentage of what a lot of other communities and minorities have experienced navigating their identity as Indian.

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MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY

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It's always up and down, and I think the past few years there's been a steady decline with increased social media and life just generally being hectic. It’s interesting though because I am hyper-aware that I'm not doing the best.

I'm hyper-aware of what I need to do to get better. I know that for me, I would benefit from establishing a daily routine that includes journaling or meditating. Although I have this list of things that I know will help me feel better, it’s challenging to actually start doing them. I don’t have the energy to bring myself to a point where these are just things I do habitually. At the same time it's important to identify with the version of yourself you want to be, so I would say I am still on the journey of getting there.

HOW DO YOU GET YOURSELF TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE? IS IT ALL ON YOU?

Having a support system is crucial to me. It's like a two-fold system - I find support within myself, but I know I can rely on my parents, friends, and family if needed. Like I said, it’s not a steady decline because I'm unaware or because I don't have time to do it. It’s because I have been, like many others, conditioned to put that as the last thing on my checklist. There’s also the component of burnout and anxiety. I'm exhausted, just day to day. I have been exhausted for the past two years, and while there are these things I know would make myself feel better, I'm paralyzed with anxiety.

I see journaling, therapy, and meditation as just another thing I have to do- a responsibility. And that makes me not want to do it. I end up placing it at the bottom of my checklist. At a certain point, if you are constantly thinking about needing to do all these things, when are you really relaxing? It's anxiety-inducing to think about how you're feeling all the time and question: why are you feeling this way? What are the steps you need to take to feel better? There are also so many things that are just culturally foreign to me- therapy is foreign to us, just as taking care of ourselves is, and it's rarely encouraged to prioritize 'feeling better’. Honestly, I wish I could be that person sitting here and telling you I reached the end goal. I wish I could say, "Yeah, I used to be this way, but now I'm better, and this is how I got there," but I’m not there yet.

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WHAT DRIVES RHEA CREATIVELY My community continues to push me to get involved with creative endeavors, especially the community I found through social media. It's invigorating to see that so many people resonate with my work, the things I post, or the stories I share. Being in this space allows me to be around such driven and creative people. Even sitting here on set with all of you guys, you are so incredibly talented. A lot of the people I’ve met online have this vision that is so beautiful and authentic to who they are, and they're able to execute it in a really empowering way. And it's all done in a way that is very different from what we've been conditioned to view as success.

Photography, for example, was one of the first times I felt proud of something I could do outside of school. It felt like I finally found a way to express myself and my personality, and this vision that I had. Photography made it so that there was a tangible way for me to express it all.

I felt proud of that. I always thought it was so beautiful: to create something that would make someone stop and stare a little bit longer.

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DU TY

It's interesting because, in the context of our culture, the word duty has often been viewed with a very negative connotation. We seem to view duty as something that holds us back from pursuing the things we care about or pursuing the things we're passionate about. I think this is largely because we have a very collectivist ideology in South Asian culture, where we are often told that our duty is to take care of family, to be a daughter, to get married, etc.

In fact, I think the true duty we have is to ourselves, our culture, and our community. As cliche as it might sound, that means authentically pursuing the things we’re passionate about. We shouldn’t pigeonhole ourselves into a box or only doing STEM or succeeding in the traditional 9-5 sense. Our culture and our history is a vibrant, beautiful, and diverse one, and can’t be represented or captured by one single path or career or defined by one version of success. And I think almost everyone in our community is aware of that, whether they want to admit it or not.

My duty is to myself- to learn how to balance the things that are important to me, while also prioritizing myself. That means contributing to the happiness and well-being of those around me, but not at the constant expense of my mental health. It means maintaining relationships with loved ones, but learning to set boundaries. If I choose to continue sharing this journey of growing and evolving, I hope to do it authentically. I firmly believe one of the biggest ways I can serve others is by pursuing that and becoming the person I want to be.

WHAT IS YOUR DUTY TO YOUR CULTURE? Our duty to our culture is to go against the grain of what has consistently been imposed upon us. I think there are times when we lose the vibrancy, creativity, and beauty of our heritage, traditions, and culture.

I believe it’s because so many people feel boxed in by certain stereotypes and expectations. I embody my ancestors, mother, father, and friends. I am who I am because of them. I hope to verbalize some of the feelings I’m sure have been felt through generations, but never spoken aloud. In doing so, I would hope I am doing my duty to my culture.

I believe that empowering individuals can be as simple as sharing my journey and encouraging them to appreciate, validate, and pursue aspects of themselves that they may not have considered necessary for their growth into adulthood.

That's how we can bring back components of our culture and heritage that deserve to be appreciated, loved, and represented.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH

SKANDA SRIGANESH

@SKXNDA

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I was born in Bangalore. I grew up in a very musical family with my dad playing the Mridangam, my sister who sings and my grandmother that sang & played the Veena. I was surrounded by art and since music was introduced to me at such a young age, one of my earliest memories was with my grandmother who taught my sister and I various songs. She had this beautiful harmonium instrument, and I learned the foundations of music through her. When I was seven, I experimented with several different instruments and landed on the violin. My upbringing was extremely supportive, and music never felt like a chore. Sure, there were days where I didn’t want to practice, but overall, music was a very enjoyable experience for me, and I think that is why I have continued to be with it to this day.

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Indian parents generally want their kids in some sort of art form and while I think that is important, I feel like it’s even more imperative for the parents to support their child musically. My parents allowed me to experiment with music outside of just what was taught in class and one way they did that was my family would host kacheris, or mini concerts where my sister and I would perform for our family friends, and they would give us gifts afterwards. They made learning a much more interactive experience, typically a student would just practice what they learn in class, but my parents made music such a fun experience; I remember my sister and I would sit together and figure out what songs we wanted to perform. So, I think just taking it beyond just classes and parents showing support in that way has kind of impacted me very positively.

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SKANDA'S TEACHER AND THE ROLE OF MUSIC IN HIS LIFE TODAY

I was very fortunate to have a great teacher in my life - he introduced music to me in a way that was not traditional. When I hear how my friends learned music, it was very much, “I learned this book, and then I took this test, and I went to the next level.” My teacher had his own curriculum of music, and he would just encourage me to experiment with it as well. He'd talk to me about how music can be used to improve yourself internally and work through challenges, and not just as an art form that you perform for other people. With my classes, it wasn't just like, I go there, play what I learned last week, and then learn something new. It was very interactive and sometimes I’d hang out with the other students for a little bit, learn some music, we would listen to each other and learn something new about someone else's performance. The thing is, there'd be some beginners and some very advanced-level students, so it'd be cool to see that maybe one day I could be someone who could perform at kacheris and concerts.

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I think the environment that my teacher provided was very nourishing for me as a young musician. I feel that's why I'm passionate about music education because I think the way you are taught to learn and respect music has an impact on how long you stick with it. Because I talk to people and they're like, “I did it throughout high school, and then it just got too much for me” or “I chose another extracurricular, like sports.” I just feel like unless you have a teacher that really helps you see the value of music, students can end up treating music like work, but when you kind of ingrain it into your day to day, it just feels more natural. I almost personify my relationship with music. I think, “How can I treat a hobby like a person?” So, if I do practice music too much or talk to someone too much, maybe I get sick of it [them], but if I don't keep in touch with them, maybe I lose contact with it. So, it's kind of like building a healthy relationship with music. For me, it's like treating my violin like a friend.

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I go to a rigorous school academically, and even beyond that, when I do have free time, I'd rather just hang out with friends. So, my advice would be to try and make time for your passions. Sometimes if I'm feeling bored, I'm like, “is there something I could be doing right now?” And it always comes down to music, so I just play then. But if I need to make time, I think a great way to kind of just keep in touch with any sort of art form is to kind of get involved on campus in that way. So, if you dance, maybe join a dance team, if that's for you. There are so many opportunities on campus to get involved. For me, social media is that way for me to keep going at it. So beyond just like, posting videos, I perform at weddings, and that's a whole experience, right? Working with the couple to figure out what they want, what kind of songs, the arrangement, etc. So that's one aspect. Another thing I've been doing is recording instrumentals for artists, and I started doing that in the last six months. I've posted less on social media just because of how busy I am, but I think I'm more inclined to go in the direction of creating records and providing music instrumentals for artists and stuff like that. I remember that transition is crazy when you go from posting and posting, working hard online, and then when your work carries you offline, that's the craziest part. That transition is insane.

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MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY I'd say I really enjoyed the first 11 years of my life; I felt like it was a perfect world. I don't know if that's the innocence of being a child, being supported by my family or just growing up in Bangalore where the culture and school were great. I had friends and I have fond memories of my childhood.

But I think really, my mental health, or my awareness of my mental health declining, was with moving.

It was kind of abrupt, like over six months span of me knowing that we were going to move and me moving. So that was tough, especially because I was so comfortable in the environment I was in, being so close to grandparents and a school I loved.

It was also in the middle of 6th grade around February. So, when I moved, initially the shock of being in a brand-new world was crazy, I mean I never thought I would be in America. I went to a predominantly Caucasian school, so that's kind of where the turmoil started, because I felt I was just a side character in other people's narratives and stories, and I didn't feel like I had my own in many ways. And I'm not blaming anyone else. I think it was just like, how I felt because of the representation in that school. In terms of my practice, I'd have two communities where I would explore music: one was my family at home, and the local temple. At the temple, I would go every Thursday to be a part of the bhajan group there. bhajans are devotional songs, and basically one big element of bhajans is the improvisation, which really helped me grow musically.

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THE IMPACT OF MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY The education system in America is so different than India. I remember in India, every time a teacher would come into a classroom, you'd stand up and you'd, greet them, or every time you answer a question, you'd stand up. My habit when my American teachers would come in, I'd stand up and every time I answered a question and everyone would look at me like, “What are you doing?” My teachers would say, “You don't need to stand up every time you talk.” It’s those cultural differences and just getting adjusted to that. Other things like my accent would just reaffirm how different I was. I think I decided at a young age, that it was better to just blend in or not speak up that much, rather than stand out and kind of own that I was from India, and I had a different cultural experience. That was a hard time of just not feeling fully content because I wasn’t being myself. At the same time, at first, I was angry at my parents and just in general at the situation because I didn't want to move. But overall, I am grateful for the experience of moving and having the experience of both cultures.

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I think I'm still healing from the challenges that I faced during that transition because I'm now reverting to that version of myself that is proud of my culture. The whole platform I have now is based off being Indian in that culture that loves music. I think going to college that was more diverse than my high school and middle school was a huge part of it, and involving myself in communities that encouraged my growth. For anyone who is feeling restricted in their high school or middle school, I think forcing yourself to go to a college that is out of state or somewhere, far from home or even more than 2 hours away can really help. It’s a huge step to take because you are uncomfortable at first, but you figure out how you want to live life, on your own. I think that experience of just moving to Atlanta for college [Georgia Tech] was kind of tough, but then I found my people a couple of weeks in, and now they're still my best friends. I just feel so much more supported and comfortable in this community I have formed in college.

I think the main challenge I’ve been facing is with imposter syndrome and not feeling that I deserve the opportunities I receive. I haven’t devoted my life to music like others and I think because I’ve been posting stuff for fun and I am now getting cool opportunities, I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve it. My initial thoughts are often, “There are so many better violinists out there, or people who do the same thing I do, they just don't post it on social media,” and while that's true, I think I must tell myself not to question it because it's an opportunity for me to continue with my journey with music. I also don't think I'm taking away from anyone else by pursuing my own dreams.

But, yeah, I think that's something that’s reoccurring. But again, I feel like the support I get online and I have people who believe in me more than I believe in myself. I think that's the best kind of people to surround yourself with. So, that’s who I rely on when I do have these thoughts in my head.

WHAT DOES YOUR MENTAL HEALTH LOOK LIKE NOW?

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WHAT IS YOUR DUTY TO YOUR CULTURE? Duty is a very heavy word, and in my head, it holds the same meaning as purpose.

When I think about my purpose in terms of my culture, I think about representation. In my eyes, I feel like representation can be as simple as being in a classroom of non-Indians. I am representing Indian people in that classroom, so just being in that room is representation. But I think if you couple that with having intentionality behind your actions and the way you represent yourself in that room, I think that's what takes it a step further. For me, sure, on social media, I kind of represent Indian music, but the way I see myself improving in that aspect is being more specific in representing my culture since I don’t see a lot of Tamil representation out there. I feel like that's one way I kind of want to see myself improve is representing that music a bit more. I think in general, with opportunities that come ahead I also want to rely on the network that I've built with other South Asian creatives, and make sure I'm giving them the support back, because I feel like all the opportunities I've gotten in the past, have been from people in the same space who've reached out to me. I want to make sure that I keep them in mind for future things that I get myself into.

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I honestly don’t know. I think it’s easier to break it down, like defining what my duty is in terms of music, my friendships, etc. But in terms of my duty overall, I would say that it’s balancing all these different aspects of my life by making sure that I am tying everything back to my parents. I want to make sure that I am making the most of this life – I have been so fortunate to have gotten my teachers, the environments I’ve grown up in, my grandparents’ support and all the small experiences that I had growing up. It’s all worth something, you know, and while these have been great memories, I want them to be more than just memories.

Questioning myself, how can I channel this into something that can help others? I think I want to find different ways of doing that. Music is just one of those ways, but I think continuing to support myself and those around me is super important.

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BODY ubiquitous

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THEME

EXPLANATION

DUTY

ubiquitous

(adj.) existing everywhere, widespread "To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self. Of course they are charitable. They feed the hungry, and clothe the begger. But their own souls starve, and are naked."

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

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AN INTERVIEW WITH

FABLE & MANE

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HOW DID YOU GET STARTED WITH YOUR COMPANY? Niki: Fable & Mane was created to bring ancient Indian beauty secrets to the modern world, as an homage to our grandparents and our roots.

When we were young, our grandma would visit with her handcrafted blend of Ayurvedic plant oils and give us a champi massage, focusing on the crown chakra to alleviate stress and tension from the roots.

While she massaged, she told us fantastic fables about India’s rich plant and animal kingdom. The combination of the fables and the hair oiling massage eased our minds so perfectly and it was something we always looked forward to, and how we came up with the brand name ‘Fable & Mane’. After suffering from our own hair loss issues during a stressful period as adults, we went back to our childhood hair rituals and Indian roots to find a holistic way to strengthen and nourish our scalp and hair.

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Niki: I’m on a journey to seek my own truth. Spirituality is a big part of my life; it’s my calling to become aware, awakened and a test as a human to be more conscious. It’s about being present, witnessing my thoughts, detaching from my identity and celebrating life. The ordinary moments have become extraordinary and it’s now a way of life. I’ve been meditating and reading ancient scriptures and books by seekers of truth, like Osho and Ashtavakra Gita, and my life has transformed.

Akash: Spirituality has been deep-rooted in me since childhood. It’s always been innately there - growing up, we’d listen to motivational speaking or meditation in the car instead of the radio, as a family we went to meditation on Sundays, and my grandpa was a healer who would travel to different countries and heal people, and he was also best friends with Osho, so it’s ingrained in me. However now I actually enjoy embracing my spirituality. As life has gotten more stressful and I’m more self aware, it’s no longer a chore but a way of life and a conscious thought in everything I do.

WHAT PLACE DOES SPIRITUALITY HOLD IN YOUR LIFE?

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Akash Mehta - CEO, growth & digital marketing specialist for Fable & Mane.

Nikita Mehta - Creative Director, Storyteller & Product visionary behind Fable & Mane.

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WHY ARE YOU PASSIONATE ABOUT HAIR CARE? Niki: Hair care has been a big part of our life since childhood - memories of hair oiling with our grandma and mum are so precious to us and have brought generations of our family together. The positive impact that Indian head massage and hair oiling, as well as Ayurvedic ingredients, has on the health of our hair and mind is truly incredible - and I want to share this with the rest of the world.

Akash: We launched Fable & Mane with our HoliRoots Hair Oil, a strengthening pre-wash treatment oil infused with Ashwagandha and Dashmool, that promotes healthy hair growth and hydrates strands. Hair oiling is something South Asians grew up practicing without questioning why, and sometimes it wasn’t enjoyable due to the heavy formulas or strong smells. Our mission is to make hair oiling modern, fun, sensorial and an intrinsic part of everyone’s self-care ritual. We do this through our lightweight, vegan, cruelty-free and silicone-free formulas that use Ayurvedic ingredients proven to improve scalp condition, promote healthy and hydrated hair growth. We also take our customers through a sensorial experience of scent with our products - our fragrances have been expertly blended by world-renowned perfumers that transport you to divine places in India.

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WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY THROUGH YOUR COMPANY? Akash: Fable & Mane is a hair wellness brand, and while we do want to provide strengthening, hydrating and effective products, our ultimate message is to take care of yourself through these hair rituals. Hair oiling is cathartic, and in Ayurveda, we do it alongside a head massage that focuses on the crown chakra, which relieves stress and tension. Beyond hair care, Fable & Mane is about staying connected and rooted to yourself, loving where you come from and being kind, fearless and strong.

WHY DO PEOPLE NEED REPRESENTATION? WHY IS IT IMPORTANT? Niki: Equality provides opportunities. There is strength in knowing there are no barriers, and opportunities should be limitless.

It’s important for everyone - no matter their gender, race or sexuality - to see themselves represented in the world. It instills confidence and the world is full of incredible cultures and each one needs to be celebrated.

Akash: The need for representation through Fable & Mane comes from my own experience of feeling a lack of representation growing up, being a person of colour and a South Asian. Though the world has progressed, I still feel there’s a lack of representation for minorities. It’s my goal to make people feel like they belong and know their inner worth. I want people to feel inspired and to know that there are endless possibilities out there - it’s what inspires and motivates me every day.

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WHAT IS YOUR DUTY TO YOUR CULTURE? Niki: To spread its wisdom with the world. For over 5,000 years, we have practiced Ayurveda. yoga, tantra, dhyana and karma, to name just a few; there are so many holistic ways of learning and living. It’s why so many people go to India to search for the truth and a deeper meaning in life - even if they don’t have a question, they find an answer. India vibrates with a special energy that stays in your heart for years after visiting. It’s my mission to bring the wild wisdom of India in a modern way to the western world with Fable & Mane.

Akash: I want to represent and embrace my culture with justice and authenticity and stay true to my roots.

That begins with educating myself first on what my culture is and to never stop learning about it. It’s so diverse and rich, going back thousands of years, so there’s a lot to learn! I want to make sure that I take it and modernise it in a way that people can understand, embrace and apply to their daily life, and this is what we aim to do through Fable & Mane - bring ancient time-tested rituals and traditions to the modern world.

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WHAT IS YOUR DUTY? Niki: To be more present to others and bring more light into this world. I want to leave this planet more beautiful and more fragrant for the unknown guests to come. We try to do this through Fable & Mane too - our hair wellness products were created to inspire people to wash their hair with intention, rather than in a rush, using products that contain natural herbs and oils for a beautiful mane, mind and world.

Akash: I don’t like the word ‘duty’ as it sounds like a requirement or a need. Duty is more of a feeling to me - my inner desire and willingness; my why more than my must. I have a duty to be true to myself in everything I do, and to make sure I help others along this journey of life whether it’s animals, humans or the planet.

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of the results of your ac e s u a c e h tivitie elf t s r u s, an o y r d e d i s on c r eve N n. o i t c a of s uit

SIN FRONTERAS

எ ல் லை க ள் இ ல் லா ம ல்

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SANS FRONTIÈRES

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बि ना सी मा ओं के

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બો ર્ડ ર્સ વિ ના

国境なし S E N Z A C O N F I N I

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সী মা হী ন

SINIRLAR OLMADAN

WITHOUT BORDERS

THE INDIAN STANDARD

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WITHOUT BORDERS | VOLUME 4

INDIA’S TEXTILE INDUSTRY: A GLOBAL IMPACT WITH ENVIRONMENTAL CONSEQUENCES SAHIL PATEL

Introduction The clothes you’re wearing, the fabrics in your bed sheets, and even the cloth in your curtains. Chances are, the majority of the textiles used to make these items came from India, or in some part of South Asia. India’s textile industry is one of the oldest and most established industries in the world. Second after agriculture, the textile industry is one of India’s largest sources of employment and contributes significantly to India’s growing economy. For thousands of years, India has offered the world sturdy and vibrant fabric for a low dollar cost.

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WITHOUT BORDERS | VOLUME 4

However, water pollution is one of the biggest sources of concern for the future of India. Many of the streams used for drinking, bathing, and irrigation are being pumped full of chemicals, color, and plastic on a daily basis. Turning once sacred rivers and bodies of water into an uninhabitable and unsafe zone for all life. To attain economic growth that improves the lives of millions of people, while also doing so in a sustainable way that does not destroy the environment, a balance between profitability and nature needs to be achieved.

Growing cities, shrinking rivers Nationally, the textile industry provides relatively stable jobs for millions of people all across India.

From hand-woven fabrics, to mega textile mill factories, this industry has continually transformed the land and its people. Foreign investment is also a major contributor to the growth of the textile industry, further producing thousands of factories and mills that create jobs. More than 40 million people are employed by the textile industry in India, and that number will continue to grow as India increases its global presence, which will further expand the industry.

Tiruppur, a city in the state of Tamil Nadu, is a great example of the impacts of the textile industry boom. It is known as the Knitwear Capital of India. After India’s independence, Tiruppur was an agricultural town that obtained its water supply for crops and its people from Noyyal and Amaravati River. At first, small and family owned textile stores dotted the city as its main export continued to be agriculture.

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WITHOUT BORDERS | VOLUME 4

Today, as a result of the textile industry boom, Tiruppur is one of the largest textile producers in India, and leads the country in total cotton exports yearly. In this city alone, the number of textile manufacturing factories and mills exceeds 10,000 units, which employs over 600,000 people. Although Tiruppur also produces other goods, such as metals, cotton is its biggest source of income. With the global demand of cotton increasing, the city of Tiruppur is set to be one of the fastest growing cities in India, and an industrial hub for global companies to make their mark.

The Environmental Problem Although the government has put in place subsidies and regulations on environmental waste, through requiring water treatment plants for example, the current political state of India allows large companies to exploit numerous loopholes to continue to produce textiles at the lowest cost possible (which results in more pollution).

Take our example of Tiruppur from earlier. One of the many sources of irrigation and water supply comes from the Noyyal River, which flows close to the main industrial hub. Throughout the city’s history, farmers and the population struggled with the constant dumping of textile waste and colors into the river. This causes the water to become toxic and foamy, filled with micro-metals and chemical color that comes from the mass production of clothes and textiles.

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WITHOUT BORDERS | VOLUME 4

In a single generation, a once clean and sacred river became a source of a political and environmental struggle. Where the government isn’t able to handle the mass dumping of pollutants into the river.

While there have been many new policies and projects to help combat this problem, such as extracting water from other far out rivers, and piping it down to Tiruppur, this is still a growing problem that won't be solved overnight.

The economic growth from the textile industry has improved the lives of millions of people in India, and the solution is not to get rid of textile producing factories and mills that supply the population with jobs. But some might argue that the consequences will one day outweigh the positive growth. We have to ask the question: How much are we willing to sacrifice our surroundings for our own benefit, and is there a balance we can achieve?

A positive outlook In the United States, much of the young south asian population are the first generation to be born outside of India. Our parents immigrated here to build a life for their family, and that includes having an easier access to life’s essentials. Our clothes that we are able to buy from our phones, the foods we can order from an app, a significant amount of this is sourced from countries like India. And as such, India has to face the many struggles of industrialization to fit our growing demand for these things. In which one of the biggest struggles is environmental degradation. We aren’t going to be able to make a dramatic change by reading a few articles, or sharing awareness posts on social media, but we can be more mindful about what we are purchasing, and what we are wasting. Whether in the United States or in India, our generation is one of the most vocal about the future of this planet, and are the most critical towards the steps governments and corporations are taking to ensure our next generation can live in a nature rich world.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH

SLESHA PATEL

@SLEMYNAME

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MODELING

& HOW SLESHA STARTED There is a nonprofit called Asha for Education, and when I was in high school, they were doing talent and fashion shows throughout the country. They would put on a show, for example, in Kansas City, where I grew up, and there would be a bunch of local performances and designers showcasing their work. My dance group, Seva Dance (the word Seva means giving back), was asked to perform at the Asha for Education talent show. After I performed and came off backstage, an agent from a modeling agency that was running the fashion show that day handed me a packet with a contract in it. As I walked out to the lobby, there was a photographer waiting there, and he asked if he could pull me into projects he had coming up. That photographer ended up helping me build my initial portfolio and introducing me to the agency that I ultimately signed with first.

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE GOING TO BE A MODEL? No. I have always wanted to be a doctor since I was a small kid. It's all I ever wanted. I went to med school starting at 18, and I got my white coat. But the modeling industry is something that has always pulled me in. I've always been asked to do opportunities, and I don't think it's because of anything other than destiny. I think that it was written in the stars. I think that even though I was a shy, ugly kid growing up, I was destined for this. A lot of my cousins are models as well, so it is something that runs in my family a little bit. But at every point when I tried to turn away from it, something always pulled me back. There was one point in my life where I wanted to kind of test it out a little bit. So, before I started my master’s program at Johns Hopkins for Health Administration, I had a summer gap between when I graduated with my bachelor's degree and I decided to go to an international modeling competition.

That was in 2015, and I ended up winning the whole thing as one of the only South Asians in the entire competition out of around 1000 models. I won most fashionable, and then I won overall adult female model, so I had a lot of contracts waiting for me. With big agencies, they expect a huge time commitment. So, I had to decide between becoming a full-time model or getting my Master's, which Johns Hopkins wasn't allowing me to defer. I ended up continuing with my master's in hopes that I could model on the side as I had been. But life happens, and at a certain point, my agency was like, “what do you think about going full time now?” So, I've been full time for about a year now.

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I'm so glad you asked that because I feel like there are so many tiers. I remember reading in magazines about Pooja Mor, who is one of the world's top South Asian models, and she is a tier one model, and she's been a tier one model for a long time. But I think there are a lot of people out there that maybe do one or two professional shoots or maybe just have a couple runway shows and call themselves a model. And there's a big difference between those two. I think if taking pretty pictures and doing one professional shoot made you a model, every high school senior in America would be a model. I think there is a shift, and there is a job description, and I think that a lot of people underestimate what being a full-time model or even a part-time professional model really entails in relation to maybe what it's like to just do some opportunities here and there as they arise.

WHAT WAS THE IDENTITY SHIFT LIKE WHEN BECOMING A MODEL?

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WHAT WAS THE TRANSITION LIKE?

I think it was pretty sudden - the opportunities exist out there; you just have to be willing to commit the time. I think what happens is, if you have other obligations going on, it's very hard to do castings, self-submissions, and be taken seriously by your agencies. I signed with another agency, Arizona Model Management, and they placed me at agencies all across the country. I’m now signed in 16 states. This week I've had shoots every single day. I just came from one right before this. We have our shoot tomorrow, but I also have another eighthour day tomorrow as well. I'm really looking forward to Monday because it'll be my first day off in a month of just constant back-to-back work. A lot of that is because of Fashion Week - I had either a show and a fitting or two shoots or two shows. Everything was stacked. For the last solid month, I've been very drained, but so grateful for it all because it really is my release. It’s what has allowed me to be so stable in my mental health. I think without modeling, I would struggle a little bit because modeling forces me to keep my physical, mental, and emotional health in check. I think this profession allows me to be the best version of myself.

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I've struggled a lot with my mental health in the past, and so finding a way to kind of address each component of the struggles that I had within my mental health has been a huge part of the journey and my success today. I think there are a few techniques that have been really valuable for me that have helped me be successful in this space. I think when you are a model, a huge problem is, because you are your product and you hear ‘no’ every day, you can't take it personally. So they're asking you to separate yourself from the product and mentally, that's kind of a mess. I think a lot of models talk about this struggle and this shift, but I think being South Asian in this space is already such a rare quality that I'm just grateful to be in the casting and to be considered for an opportunity. The more South Asians there are in this space, regardless of what profession they choose (hair/makeup, set design, videographer/photographer), the more we are able to normalize the creative industry and build on our subconscious bias. So for me, even if I hear no, I'm like, ‘Thank you so much for even looking at me, for looking at my pictures and for allowing me to do this casting." It's a huge deal I get to be in the room because South Asians are still are a very directional choice for many casting directors and brands.

HOW DO YOU KEEP IT ALL IN CHECK?

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My symptoms started when I was about 15-16 years old, and it's almost like they came out of nowhere. I think that's one of the problems with mental health: a lot of people don't understand what depression can really be. For me, it felt like a chemical imbalance, like there was nothing wrong in my life - I grew up fairly well off. I have a great relationship with everyone in my family, and I was a happy kid. I maybe didn't have any friends at all in school, and I ate lunch underneath a staircase most days alone, but I had my Indian friends outside of school that I grew up dancing with. I had balanced activities in and out. I had interests and hobbies, I loved going to school, learning and doing homework, etc. So, I mean, I wasn't, like, an unhappy kid. There wasn't really anything that happened to me that would have warranted those types of depressive symptoms. When I say depressive symptoms, I'm talking about the feeling of just a whole heavy weight on your body, feeling hopeless, feeling like there's nothing to look forward to, feeling like no one cares about you, and just feeling a sense of, 'Why me?'

I got a really bad knee injury and ended up on crutches for months.

My mom ended up getting tuberculosis. She was in the ICU for 17 days, and her recovery was about six months. We had the health department coming to our home every single day to watch her take her pills.

Then my grandpa got pneumonia. My grandparents lived with me - my grandma still lives with me. My grandpa is no longer with us, but in his final days, I was one of his predominant caretakers. I had to carry his collapsed body into my mom's Toyota Sienna to get him to the hospital. All while I was still injured, I actually had mono as well, so I felt very fatigued. I skipped about a quarter of my junior year just because I couldn't do it all.

I had a license, so I was in charge of carpooling three kids and had to pick up those duties because my grandpa was sick. I was getting the groceries, taking care of the house and people, and it was a lot for a 16-year-old. Additionally, I wanted to go to medical school, and there are a lot of prerequisites, like volunteering, shadowing, and researching. I wasn’t taking care of my physical, mental, or emotional health and was just very miserable. I felt like I didn't have good relationships with friends because it was so hard to maintain it all.

When going to college, I lost about 15 pounds - I was only about 100 pounds, to begin with, so I wasn't fitting into even, like, 23-size jeans, which is usually the smallest size a brand might make. So I was really struggling with even just putting on clothes in the morning. I would be so weak that if I had a multivitamin, I would throw up. I could not get myself to go to classes. If it was mandatory, I would get my body up and out because I had to. Other than that, I was just really struggling with my health - either the people around me didn't know, or I wasn't sharing enough about it, or maybe they thought I was being dramatic, but I would tell my mom that I was struggling. Because she was obviously sick herself still, I just didn't have much support that way. The reason I even chose the med program that I was in was because it was a five-minute drive from my brother's school, and I could continue to help pick him up and drive him when needed.

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My grandma was also heartbroken when my grandpa passed away. That was her person. So I wanted to be close in proximity to her because she and I were incredibly close. We even shared a bedroom growing up. So I wanted to be there for my family. That was a part of my duty then. That time was incredibly challenging, and truthfully, the best option back then for me would have been to take a gap year and to just recover and focus on my health in all senses of the word. I hadn't even been given the opportunity to grieve my grandfather's death because it was just go, go, go from then on. So it was a really lonely time, I would say, just like kind of living in your own thoughts. I remember my dorm room being right across from a construction zone. I just kept thinking that was the easiest way out. That's when my depressive thoughts kind of took a turn for the worst. And I would walk by this construction zone every single day, and I kept thinking that it could be the solution to all of this.

So I don't really know how I got through the rest of that year, but I was really, really lucky that my dad saw that I hated med school and never wanted me to be a doctor in the first place. He actually is a doctor himself, but he does a lot of administrative stuff, and he works a lot in policy, and he has such a cool way of approaching medicine as a profession. I really just wanted to do what he was doing, but he was like, "I don't think that that's the right way." I am so lucky because I had a really close family friend tell my parents being a doctor is a huge waste of that girl's talent. If he hadn't said that, and if my parents hadn't shared that with me, I wouldn't be doing what I am today.

I will say that during my master's program, I think a part of my coping mechanism was being almost a stranger to myself. There was a really big disconnect between who I was at the time and who I wanted to be. I think that looking back on myself in those years and maybe people that knew me at that time, I'm not at all the same person. I think I was having a hard time coping with what I was doing - it was a mental strategy for me to be someone other than myself. I'm not fond of who I was at the time. Then I got a job opportunity in New York, and things were starting to look like a new chapter for me. I said, okay, ‘I can become the person I want to be.’ Given the line of work I was in, working in fashion, I kind of had to change my personal style a little bit.

The way I was dressing really impacted also how I viewed myself and how I thought of myself. It got to the point where I was evolving my style so much that I would look in the mirror, and I didn't even recognize myself. And that's a really scary thing, especially for someone who has struggled with mental health in the past.

I still didn't really talk about my struggles with anybody. I think my husband and my parents obviously knew that I would go through… “waves of sadness,” is what we called them, where I would have a lot of these depressive symptoms. I would go through these waves, and that would pass after a month, a couple of weeks, and sometimes maybe even a day - very inconsistent amounts of time. I would come back to the girl that you're seeing today.

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But it got to the point that sometimes those waves were so low and the wave got low enough that I ended up in a hospital - I wasn't safe to myself. This was just before the pandemic.

I think being in the hospital was really, really tough because I gave my husband my phone when I got admitted, and I said, ‘You can't let people figure out that I'm here.’ You need to keep texting as if I'm still around. So I'll never forget it: there was a kid that was depending on me for career advice, and I really wanted to do it, but I was sitting there in a hospital. It's not like my husband can imitate who I am and the advice that I could give.

So coming out of that experience, my husband and parents took my mental health more seriously. They thought, "We need to be her support system, and we also need to do a better job of learning. What are these waves of sadness? What can we do to better support her? How can we help her get out of this?" I should note that these few years, from the time I was in Baltimore through the time I started working in New York, I was modeling very little. It was a very small part of my life, maybe one booking a year, maybe nothing, because my life was school and work. So I really wasn't doing anything that made me feel like the best version of myself. It was a time of transformation and change just within my support circle.

I tried therapy, and it was not for me - it only brought me more trauma. I just didn't want to rehash everything and tell the story again; I had just spent 4 hours crying, telling this woman my story. It got to the point where I had my husband sit in on sessions. I was like, "I'm not filtering anything. He is a fly on the wall. Ignore him. I won't say anything that's different. I may not even say positive things about him. I don't know. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth when it comes out of my mouth, but I just want him to understand what's happening here so he can better support me.”

I wanted her to help me find coping strategies and mechanisms, and it kept amounting to nothing. She just wanted to keep talking more about what was going on and how I was feeling that week… my husband was like, ‘I now see that this isn't going to be helpful for you.’

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I turned to a few other techniques. One thing that was really beneficial for me was leaning into my spirituality, leaning into a notion of destiny. I know that people have a lot of opinions on astrology, but for me, I love it. I found a great astrologer in the UK, Tariq Sultan, that had a really modern approach.

So he just did a simple birth chart reading, and we started that way. Instead of focusing on the present and future, he focused solely on my past. He was able to, based on the placements of my planets, tell me my whole past. So it was reverse therapy. He was like, "During this time, you probably had a lot of car issues. During this time, you may have struggled with your family's health. During this time, you probably had a disconnect in mind, body, and self." Everything that the planets were saying was truthful, and it happened. But the beauty of it was that he did not sugarcoat anything for me, and he just gave me a lot of hope for the future.

He said, "Look, a lot of people have a lot of bad planets and a lot of bad placements. You really only have three coming up for the rest of your life." He was saying that the best is yet to come; the worst has passed. Him sort of saying, “You're through the worst of it,” meant everything to me.

The 5 T's My husband invented something called the 5 T's. And you're going to have to bear with me because some of the ‘T's’ are a little bit of a stretch, but one is, Talk it out. Do you need advice, or do you want someone to vent to? Either way, one method is talking it out.

Number two: Tuck in. Because my depressive symptoms are so linked to sleeping, I have found that getting tucked in a warm blanket and just taking a nap is sometimes enough for me to get through the day.

Number three is a Treat. I smile because there's nothing that makes me happier than a cup of chai. So sometimes, all I need is a treat. You can't underestimate the power of your favorite meal or drink, or just your favorite anything that kind of gives you this sense of comfort and peace.

Then there's a Trickaroo, which could just be a trick, but I think Trickaroo sounds cuter. It's where you distract yourself from whatever is going on. Maybe it's that you jam out to your favorite music or you watch a TV show. Maybe you go somewhere; you do some sort of activity that tricks you and your mind from thinking about what is bothering you.

Number five, and this is the one that's the most ridiculous. Tuddle. It's a cuddle, but with a T: sometimes, you can't underestimate the value of a big hug. My name, Slesha, means to hug or to embrace.

So I think it's a big part of my personal identity. And so we do something called a 360 Tuddle, where he hugs me from all sides. I also have a therapy dog now, Mia, and she comes from a long line of therapy dogs. Whenever I am feeling anxious, she knows it, and she will apply pressure to my chest. She's been trained to do that, but she also started doing it instinctively at a very young age. But she's a big part of my mental health journey as well.

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My husband has been instrumental in helping me figure this out. He will present all the ideas on the table and help me navigate how I'm feeling about each one: that's how we developed the 5 T's. I think when you're struggling with your mental health, your thoughts can get cluttered, and it's really hard to dissect them. He's an engineer by education, so I think he's very gifted in breaking down problems and making them very digestible. He's also a Management Consultant today, so his job is to help fix very complicated problems with millions of dollars on the line. I have been really lucky that my life partner, whom I've had since I was in high school, someone that I've been with for 13 and a half years now, almost 14 years, who has seen my whole path and has seen my whole journey knows me well enough to support me in that way because I think he supports me in ways that my parents and friends could never.

THE BROWN SOCIAL MEDIA SPACE

I feel like sometimes I'm caught in the middle of this social media realm. My agencies and my clients couldn't care less if I don't post because there has not yet been a modeling agreement where you're like, okay, you are shooting a brand campaign. It’s not like, “You're going to be on set for 12 hours, but also, we expect you to do a post and three stories.” That's just not how our job is structured and how our payment is structured in any way. When you are on set as a model, you have no expectations to post that because they don't care about your following. In fact, they prefer that you don't post any of that because you're now giving out their secrets of what their setup might look like or anything like that. So, I feel very conflicted. A lot of times, as a model, you are not to have your phone out on set. I don't have my phone out even here. Despite this being a little bit more of an intimate setting - so I do feel kind of caught in the middle.

I am loving that so many of my content creator friends have brought so much positive light to the South Asian space. In that part, you can see I can't fight the smile because that makes me really excited and really happy. What I hate is when people are like, oh, ‘why is she posting? She thinks she's all that.’ I think we can be less judgy. We definitely have a lot of that.

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WHAT IS YOUR DUTY?

I love this question so much because I think of duty as my personal mission. When I was in my first job, my mentor said to me, 'Whatever it is that bothers you, go for that, follow that, and let that kind of inspire your career path.' So for me, and because of my past, in 2015, I changed my Instagram bio to “Wherever you go, bring sparkle.” That is my duty. Wherever I go, I want to bring sparkle to the room. I want to uplift those around me. I want to hear about their stories; I want to get hyped up; I want to get energized. I want to hear what their life has been like because there's nothing that enriches me more and makes me feel more alive than hearing about someone else's life, what they're doing, what they're wanting to go after, what they're interested in. I think just bringing that side of my personality out is really what my duty is.

WHAT IS YOUR DUTY TO YOUR CULTURE? This is a huge one for me because I went down a "traditional" career path with med school and then flipped my whole life around with modeling. I want to break generational toxicity as much as I possibly can in my personal life or even through helping & advising others. I think it's important to be in this space and also lend that hand back down to anyone that wants to be in the creative space. If there's someone that I know or if there's something that I could personally do, that is a huge part of my mission.

I've had a few people reach out to me on Instagram and ask, “Hey, how can I get more involved in modeling? How do I break into the space? How do I talk to my parents? How do I deal with the judgment from the brown community of me trying to pursue this.” This is what fuels me: I get so excited to help more people because, again, it goes back to fighting that unconscious bias that people may have when they see a brown person.

I don't want us to be a directional choice, and more South Asians in this space means that we're fighting that every day. I don't see any competition. I'm not a gatekeeper. If a client likes you and me, they're going to book both of us. That's just how it is. Maybe not for the same shoot. Maybe you'll get picked this month and I'll get picked next month, but we're both going to end up winning and I think there's space for all of us, and every South Asian in this space can succeed.

I think that's a huge duty to my culture; continuing on with this kind of boldness and this bravery. I always look to my grandparents. My grandpa's sister was the first to leave their village in Gujarat. Like, she lives in New Jersey and wears a two-piece swimsuit. Like, what Baa do you know that does that right? That is bold, that is brave, and that is who I want to be like when I'm older. I don't want to care what anyone thinks. Go after what you want, and the rest will follow.

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SOUL indefatigable

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THEME

EXPLANATION

DUTY

indefatigable

indefatigable (adj.) incapable of defeat, failure, decay "For one who has taken his birth, death is certain; and for one who is dead, birth is certain. Therefore, in the unavoidable discharge of your duty, you should not lament." (Bhagavad Gita 2:27)

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he results of your ac tivitie s, an d

nev er b e

is a lso

sufferer of the r o r re e y o j n

t i ons

of such a c t l su

attached to the result o f ho is h i s w ne w o rk

O ty. du ur yo ng

att ach ed to no td oi

T ction hus he i s t he a h e of t e se au ec th

DIYA BEHARIE

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Introduction Transactional analysis is a psychoanalytic theory that assists the interpretation of what happens within and between people. It is how you communicate with the world, whilst being aware of how others communicate with you. Since the 1950s when Eric Berne first instated it, it has established itself in fields of psychotherapy, education, and organizational development.

There are four factors to consider which are personality, relationship, confirmation, and identity. The influence of patterns of positive or negative interactions and their predictable outcomes. (2016, GoodTherapy). The topic of discussion for this essay is the Cultural Parent which unpacks the generational trauma of behaviors, communication, interactions, and dynamics which are passed down the generations. It is left up to parents that raise new generations, to either conform to what they know and refuse to change any unhealthy patterns; or overcome and do better to break those patterns in the best way they can for themselves and future generations. (2020, Paras). Especially for people of colour, South Asians specifically. This can be reflected on by using transactional analysis concept and theory such as ego states of the parent-adult-child model, transactions, and strokes. The Articles of Tiriti O Waitangi, Mana motuhake and Mana tangata, play an important role in the reflection process of the concepts and theories that are practiced in light of it.

Behaviours During the evaluation of behaviours through a transactional analysis lens that Berne was able to create, it is important to make note that the Cultural Parent may have mental health issues due to generational trauma. The interactions of people formed together through a series of transactions have two main parts: the motivation and the response. In this interaction people can enter any three of these types of ego states, which are the Parent, Adult, or the Child and each will have different patterns of thinking formed in the brain. This is the reason they have unhealthy ego states when it comes to all three phases of Child, Parent, and Adult states.

(1983, Drego). These get passed down throughout generations because each generation lives through different experiences and hardships.

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People of colour have gone through life altering changes in the past and present. They place effort into breaking barriers that were once seen as impossible, but these barriers usually consist of materialistic value, purchasing a bigger home or a nicer car rather than investing into their mental health. For further insight, during colonization in India, around 1.2 million Indians emigrated as indentured workers as they were promised a better life. They left mainly to British colonies such as South Africa, Fiji and Mauritius. (2020, Bose). However, once they set sail, the instructions were given in a forceful, massive, micro-managed, state-controlled, hard laboured environment to build up the economies. Whether you are a first, second or third generation South Asian in these countries that were once colonized, it does not matter as our forefathers suffering has contributed to our mental health through the generational line. (2016, Salberg, Grand). Grandparents went through oppression, domestic violence, abuse, PTSD, patriarchy, and extreme poverty. Parents went through alcoholism, physical abuse, repressed anger, emotional abuse, untreated mental illness, and co-dependency. Following this, the youth display approval seeking tendencies, identity confusion, eating disorder, depression, anxiety, alcoholism, attachment issues and co-dependency. (2021, Patel). It is important for the youth to break the toxic cycle in the best way they can and break the intergenerational trauma trends.

This can both be very healing, but mentally exhausting.

Communication With communication there are times where individuals are faced with situations that may trigger or cause them to transition between the Child, Parent or Adult ego state. Sometimes they can transition into either one, both or all ego states during an argument. For example, the way we handle our romantic relationships are a reflection on the environment and family history we have. In a long-term romantic relationship, there comes a point where past trauma gets triggered. (2021, Patel). It is essential to work together as a couple and as two separate individuals to get through this. The person must reflect through transactional analysis and come to the realisation of what they are fighting for. They must reflect on the underlying reasons, traumas, or triggers. As well as question whether they are fighting you, the problem or possibly in a state of fighting their cultural parent through their partner.

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The Cultural Parent dynamic can be quite authoritative and demanding, thereby making the youth transition into survival mode. Berne summarised Etiquette as, “what one is supposed to do,” Technicality as “what one has to do,” and Character as “what one might like to do.” The following will identify the ego states of a culture and what influences the Cultural Parent’s communication in their eyes of etiquette; culturally inherited beliefs, ideologies, values, rules, moral codes, beliefs about life and death, about good and evil, about being male and female, about wealth and poverty, about fertility and entropy, superstitions, customs, rituals, social hierarchies, prejudices, expectations of the ideal man, the ideal woman, methods of reward and punishment. (1983, Drego). Through the listing of Etiquette requirements, it presents the way an unhealthy Cultural Parent maintains control. The unhealthy Cultural Parent feels the constant need to have unnecessary and repeated communication with a subject, that do not serve the times we currently live in. South Asian families are often subjected towards this as they constantly communicate and pick on their children even when they are adults and do not allow them to grow or form their own opinions. This is also seen for people of colour as during the developmental stages of life, it is easier to pick up communication styles that your parents have. As a result of the exposure to these communication styles that are seen normal for the Cultural Parent, a person can also develop other communication styles as a trauma response to certain situations. Whether this communication response is beneficial or detrimental to the parties involved it is not taken into consideration if that person has not worked on themselves enough. (2017, Wolynn). While it is understandable that this may be an unconscious automatic trigger response, the individual should take responsibility to remove the destructive part over time. Naturally trauma resurfaces, but how we maintain and heal from it, is what is essential. A healthy cultural parent is one who diminishes the social hierarchy through working things out with themselves, so they do not pass these communication styles down, minimizing the effect of intergenerational trauma.

Interactions During interactions as an Adult, the Child ego state often misses the contact they had with their Cultural Parent. The word “miss” is to be taken with a grain of salt. If an individual had unhealthy interactions with the Cultural Parent in their developmental stages of life, they are not used to having healthy interactions and would crave attention through chaos created in those unhealthy interactions.

This leads to self-sabotaging themselves in healthy environments, which reinstates the idea of generational, unhealed trauma that lives on inside them because they are so used to it. (2017, Wolynn).

Berne mentioned that Transactional Analysis allows us to view these experiences from all points of view through discussing the various ego states, but also through Strokes and Transactions.

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A Stroke is a healthy dialogue, most effective when it is short. It is either a meaningful compliment or a respectful and constructive criticism. A Stroke can be verbal or nonverbal, positive or negative, conditional or unconditional. Giving positive Strokes is foreign or conditional for an unhealthy Cultural Parent. (1983, Drego). Also, negative Strokes are not delivered in a respectful or constructive manner by them. For example, commenting on how their child looks better today because they are wearing something they approve of but still degrade them in the process by commenting on their weight. Or the unhealthy Cultural Parent can expect their children to care for them when they are old, because they feel as though their children owe them that after all their sacrifices. A healthy Cultural Parent can give encouragement and suggestions to the child, but still support them no matter what their choice, within reason. The quality and intensity of strokes are important and can be experienced differently and subjectively. Relationships are not meant to be transactional. When one has a transactional motive and expects a transactional response, it is not a healthy interaction.

(2014, Key Concepts in TA). Healthy interactions proceed to do so, because they want to, not so they can get something out of it. If picked up unknowingly during childhood, it can hurt the relationship to everything as transactional. Being an active listener during interactions to pick up a person’s triggers is necessary. While it is not your responsibility to manage other people’s emotions during interactions, if the relationship is a romantic one, the dynamic is different. It is important to hold space for your partner during interactions. As you spend more time with each other, both partners begin to realise their traumas and triggers and point it out to each other. This can be a difficult to handle because you see all ego states, strokes and transactions and they do not reflect on who your partner truly is, as it is rather the triggered version.

Dynamics An unhealthy Cultural Parent is one which wants to (1) repeat old history over and over again without change; (2) keep things the way they are, because this is safe and familiar; (3) assume responsibility for others that these others can well assume for themselves; (4) provide punishments for new and untried behaviour even where such behaviour is life-giving and healthy (6) keep power over others and enjoy controlling them for the sake of controlling; (7) destroy anything, however good, that threatens the maintenance of control. (1983, Drego). This pattern the unhealthy Cultural Parent creates is relived repetitively instead of trying to break free from toxic cycles. For future generations to break free from a toxic cycle, it is important to be open to acceptance and change. This is often seen in South Asian households which are either stuck in that cycle or are breaking out of it. Holding space for your wounded Child ego state is good, but so is putting them on pause until you have the mental capacity to deal with the needs of those traumas.

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What this means is that sometimes the inner child can be destructive to relationships, especially romantic ones, because many allow themselves to go on in life as unhealed and refuse to change.

Through a healthy Adult ego state, one can fight the problem, instead of each other. However, the wounded Child ego state surfaces when the person unintentionally sparks a trigger within them during a conversation or argument. Therefore, the unhealthy Cultural Parent ego state that was witnessed whilst the Child ego state was growing up, gets aggravated within and comes out to defend the child. This then leads the dynamic to be unchanged and stagnant, because as individuals who experience trauma, it is up to us to control our reaction as we cannot control the words and actions of others. Dynamics can only change if one is willing to put in the work to stop these unproductive encounters and view conversations or arguments to reflect and grow, rather than as an attack and need to flee. There must be work on both ends to hold space for both parties if one must fall back into their destructive self, but they need to be able to learn how to bounce back and hold themselves accountable. This will allow for change to occur within the dynamic and create a healthy Cultural Parent ego state for future generations to come. This will also develop your Adult ego state, because what you heal will transition into relationships other than your family dynamic. There are several sources of stress that are common to most parents who are exposed to them, and this can affect their health and well-being. Although the stress process is dynamic and there are ways to cope, the unhealthy Cultural Parent are used to having constant worries, which sometimes they have no control over. It can be as complicated as poverty but can be as salvageable as accepting an interracial marriage and placing differences aside. South Asian families tend to gravitate towards these two types of issues. The sociocultural and physical environment that the parent and child are in, sets the stage for the outcomes of certain situations and the coping methods they choose. (2017, Deckard, Panneton). The stress can potentially affect the Child ego state and their development. However, it can also hurt the Adult Ego state and be detrimental to their relationship as they are still viewed as a child in the unhealthy Cultural Parent’s eyes. This is seen as condescending and a way for the unhealthy Cultural Parent to maintain control. For the Cultural Parent to be a healthy parent, they must reflect on their daily lives and experiences to be the change to reset their ego states and generational traumas.

Reflection of Transactional Analysis concepts, theory, and practice regarding the Articles of Te Tiriti o Waitangi.

The Te Tiriti o Waitangi which is commonly known as the Treaty of Waitangi in New Zealand, the British Crown first signed and established it between the Maori chiefs on the 6th of February 1840. It resonates with the Transactional Analysis concepts, theory, and practice such as ego states and transactions, are Mana motuhake and Mana tangata.

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Mana motuhake is, “enabling the right for Māori to be Māori (Māori self-determination); to exercise their authority over their lives, and to live on Māori terms and according to Māori philosophies, values and practices including tikanga Māori.” (Waitangi, 2020) Through Transactional Analysis, Berne allows space to be held to accommodate. For Māori’s needs, it is important they feel heard. The ego states of the Child, Adult and Parent can be in a fragile state based on issues that surfaced in their childhood, but still resurface today. For example, learning about land that got taken away as a child through a Cultural Parent, but facing it first-hand through an Adult ego state is confusing, because times should have changed. An example of this is the Ihumātao case which had the indigenous visions for the future of the sacred land competing against corporate visions for real estate. Ihumātao is one of the oldest settlements in New Zealand that was lived upon and is seen as significant cultural heritage. (2020, Hancock, Morgan, Newton, McCreanor). It is important that New Zealand has the Waitangi for reasons such as that, so that the trauma is acknowledged. Māori must be allowed to be Māori; Western views should not be imposed on their core and fundamental values. It is their way of life and New Zealand’s authorities, and principals apply but cannot be used to discriminate against.

The country must let them be themselves, continue their values and way of life and cannot try to change their fundamental values. Mana tangata is, “achieving equity in health and disability outcomes for Māori across the life course and contributing to Māori wellness.” (Waitangi, 2020) There are transactions that take place with this article, that must maintain a Complementary standard, which means that they must make a constant, continuous effort that provides for Māori wellness throughout their life course. It cannot be a Crossed or Ulterior transaction as a shift in ego states or psychologically deciding the outcome with a hidden agenda is wrong. The healthy Cultural Parent allows a child to have the freedom to do what they want by placing their bias aside and breaking the generational trauma trends. This is why the country is able to hold space, understand they have their own identify and try not to impose on western values.

Conclusion The navigation of the role Transactional Analysis played in the topic of the Cultural Parent with the Ego states, Strokes and Transactions was articulated in a critical manner. Berne created this theory so that it could help pinpoint all point of views regarding topics like these. The Articles of Te Tiriti o Waitangi discussed gave a wider world outlook.

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AN INTERVIEW WITH

OUTER VOICE

@OUTERVOICEMEDIA

OUTER VOICE:

THE GENESIS

[JAM] We like to say it was a combination of a lifelong passion and a unique opportunity. I think you often see that combination, right? You can want to do something but not have the means or the door to walk through. But for us, it starts with us being artists ourselves. We started in classical piano, then picked up guitar, vocals, and started writing music. I think maybe when I was around 14. Philly was around eleven, and we just started to get good at it.

He would produce, I'd write the lyrics, and we'd do the melodies together. It was something we really, really loved and I don't think we were thinking about it professionally. Fast forward to that unique opportunity. In the fall of 2019, I was part of this viral video that landed in front of the chief marketing officer of Converse. He saw something in me, then in us. Eighteen months later, in June of 2021, they were helping us launch a South Asian American record label to the world. I think that validation from a mainstream player like that, from people outside of our community hearing our mission around representation and wanting to build more of an infrastructure in music for the artists of today, meant so much.

[Philly] Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago was a great upbringing, but it was a very Caucasian suburb, so we often felt like outsiders in our own community; we wouldn't have too much of a home. Then we'd come back home after school, and we'd turn on the TV. We didn't even see anyone that looked like us, so it felt like everywhere, every outlet we had, everywhere we looked, there wasn't really anyone that looked like us. I think back to my high school days, middle school, my favorite thing in the world was playing music, writing songs, singing, and just being at the piano. But honestly, I never gave it thought that this was something that I could actually do. I think a big reason for that is not seeing any example in front of us. So, it truly meant so much when we went to Converse and had the meeting that we point to as kind of the ignition, the start of what became Outer Voice Records. The main piece of advice that they gave us was, “Your culture is unique. Lean into it,” when we spent a lot of our lives shying away from it, trying to blend in with American culture.

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[JAM] It must have been our genuine first creative identity as music artists. When we thought about these underrepresented areas for our community, that's where our mind went first. I think it was also because we felt there was such a gap in support for our community, in music specifically. I think even today, you see some strides really being made in film and TV and other creative areas. But I think music still is kind of holding out a little bit. We believe that the more infrastructure of support there can be for our artists, the better the shot at making it and really creating some proper success.

[Philly] We like to say the line, “We firmly believe our community doesn't lack the talent; it just lacks the platform.” So that was the ignition of where we came in to support artists. We had seen so many successful brown artists on TikTok, whether it was singing covers or singing original pieces, and we knew that everyone was out there. There just wasn't a central hub really gathering all that talent and growing it. That, combined with us being artists ourselves, was the start.

WHAT POINTED YOU TO CREATING A RECORD LABEL?

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[Philly] My personal journey with mental health has been very interesting. I think first figuring out recognizing what mental health is; we're not often encouraged in our community to put importance on it. I point to one moment specifically where my mental health, I think, deteriorated quite a bit. Junior year of high school was an already stressful time. Specifically, growing up right in that suburb of Chicago, it was small. We were in the same house our entire life. We went from elementary public school to the middle school to the high school - it was the same group of people. I had a friend group that started from first grade, second grade. We moved through every grade, and every school together until the one-day junior year the group kind of just disappeared overnight. I was left just feeling very confused. Then it just came a time when I needed to reconcile and kind of move forward.

But it’s one of those situations where it was there wasn't any falling out. There wasn't a fight that I could point to and be like, "Oh, that's why we're no longer friends." It was just something to this day, I still don't know what happened.

I had no closure at all, and so that was a huge switch. Going from going out every Friday, every Saturday, going to restaurants, to just being at home. Eating on the couch and watching TV every weekend. That was my idea of free time. So, I think that's when it really started to take a turn. I just felt extreme loneliness. It wasn't like I wasn't surrounded by people. I was nice with everyone, very friendly with everyone at school. But then I'd go home, and even though I was surrounded by so many people, I didn't feel like I actually had anyone. I was still very lonely at the core.

There were a lot of times when I had a lot of self-esteem issues. I became very self-conscious about certain things and what kind of picked it all up. For me, I’m very religious, so I truly believe that everything comes in God's timing and that everything happens for a reason. So, I guess one of the few good things that happened at that moment was that I first learned how to produce music.

It was that loneliness where I wasn't occupying my time with friends or doing anything else outside of school. I just taught myself how to be a producer. Honestly, that was my therapy for a while, learning how to produce, writing more songs, being at the piano 24/7; that's what really got me out of the rut that was feeling, moved me into senior year, where I started making more friends and was much happier. As we point to our artist & business journey, I think that maybe without that moment, even though it seemed totally depressing at the time, we wouldn't have been artists as JAM and Philly. Maybe we wouldn’t have launched Outer Voice Records.

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JOURNEY [JAM] Yeah, I think for me, it's similar. I mean, there are so many things I resonate with: being sociable, but never really feeling like I had my people. It was funny, even in high school, both of us were just very social around our class circles. We were both soccer captains, and we had that sort of positioning in our school. There might have been people who others might have even assumed was our squad. I feel like I faked it well, and I think I did just close myself off - there was a long period of time where I felt very lonely and didn't feel like I really had close relationships. That informed how I went into college because I really wanted that to change. I was super intentional about trying to find real people that I could identify with.

I found some of my closest friends early on, which I was lucky to do, at the beginning of freshman year. In many cases, I found myself without as many people as I wanted. I was in a couple relationships, and you know how a relationship is when it ends: you're left at square one.

You invested in someone and probably spent too much time with that person. You weren't branching out and meeting other people, and then it crumbles.

My low point was probably the pandemic. I had just had an incredible experience on campus, and then we had to leave. I felt like the whole social circle that I was building, immediately went away. I was in a particularly tough relationship at that point where it was straining other relationships I had between me and this person. It wasn't the healthiest thing anyway, so it was just a low point. 2020 was tough, for sure, but then in 2021, we launched our company. I think it really did play a role in taking me out of this present dark moment and pushing me forward and thinking about how it's going to get so much brighter. We [Philly] came together and started talking more again. There are maybe a few years there where we were in different places. I was at school, he was at home, so maybe we weren’t in touch as much. That changed with the pandemic. I came back, and we were under the same roof. We started making all our plans for our music and our company, and everything started to look up. I love that point. I think there's so much purpose in everything. I do think that there was absolutely a silver lining in our own struggles.

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WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE STRUGGLING? [JAM] One thing I'd say is to be patient with yourself. I think we talk so much about being kind and patient to others in our society but be kind to yourself and give yourself that grace. I remember periods when I was super self-critical in the midst of everything we just talked about.

I think that it starts there and then slowly you have to try and find relationships, because I think we're meant to help each other. Whether it's your born family, or your chosen family, find those people that you feel like you can lean on that are going to pull you out of this dark place. I really think that community and relationships ultimately act as an antidote to a lot of these struggles.

[Philly] I completely agree, especially with that latter point. Finding your circle, finding your people. I think it's just so important. It's easy to shut off, especially when you go through loneliness, depression, or whatever. It's easy to think, like, I don't want to put this burden on anyone else. I just want to stick to myself. But like you said, we're social people by nature, by evolution. We're meant to talk to others and share our feelings. I think I was the type that, even in that friend group growing up, where I was never too vulnerable. I still wouldn't say they knew me like that as a person. So, it took some figuring out. Don't be afraid to be open and put yourself out there to people.

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MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH

[JAM] There's no easy answer. I feel like it goes back to relationships - a marker that I use now is, “Does this person truly have my best intentions at heart and in mind?” I think that when you find people like that, you can be vulnerable because you feel safe, and you feel open to sharing. I think it's harder to find than it is to say. But I think trying to find those people, that core, those are the ones that are going to allow you to open up and express these things. Many of these things, probably you're saying for the first time. I think that there's a posture in people of empathy and receptiveness that I think we need to foster more among men, for sure.

[Philly] To take it in another direction as well, I think it's ego. One reason why I think it's so hard in our community for men to be vulnerable is that it's seen as a sign of weakness. Right? You don't want to go to someone that you just met or even your lifelong friend and say that, “Business isn't doing too well. So, I'm sad right now. I'm not doing the best in this area.” We don't want to show any sort of weakness. We want to make it the facade that everything is put together. We're put together, everything's successful.

I think first it's realizing that it's not even weakness; everyone is going to have ups and downs. Going back to the word vulnerability, being able to show that vulnerability and express that. I think it's tough, but if we can have more men that are like that and aren't judgmental when vulnerability is being conveyed to them, we're one step closer.

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SIBLINGS, COFOUNDERS & FRIENDS

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[JAM] I think it's interesting for us because we were always very close. But the definition of close for us, I think, has evolved over time. We always did stuff together. We'd play together.

We'd play music and sports together, we did so much. But I think when I went away, especially to college, I really dove into my campus life because of that community aspect we were talking about before. I was less in contact with Philly.

What really did it, I think, was the pandemic.

At that point, I was a junior in college and Philly was a senior in high school. In 2020, we had so much time to just really have conversations we hadn't had before, sharing some of the difficult moments growing up and just really connecting.

We were already friends, but we almost leveled up. It went to a different, more emotional state, during the pandemic.

[Philly] Once we started sharing, we realized how many similarities there were, and it was a different type of communication that was fostered. We talked about our identity, and that's when I started going into, “yeah, we don't even see our identity anywhere, not just in our community, but in the country. We don't really see that too much on the screen.” I think all those conversations built on each other. So, when it came time, and we had the unique opportunity to launch Outer Voice Records, we knew exactly what we wanted to do with that opportunity.

THE OUTER VOICE COMPANY [Philly] Religion has also been an interesting journey, but it’s something that has been so close to our hearts forever. Our family, where we come from in India, is just a very religious place, and that carried over when they immigrated to America. In our family, religion is everything. We grew up going to church every Sunday and going to some grandparents' houses for the prayer meeting. Even our versions of parties with families always started with prayer and some sort of song. Reading the Bible, too. It was in everything that we did. So, I had an interesting relationship with it. I was never as religious as I am today. I think I needed to have my own journey to reach where I am because I was more or less a passive Christian. I did what my parents told me , but I never really connected on a personal level.

As mentioned, the negative situation of junior year brought me closer to music, but it also allowed me to get more in touch with my religion. People have different ways of handling something like therapy or journaling but I use religious prayer specifically as the most therapeutic thing I can do. That's the best way for me to kind of deal with fluctuations in my mental health. So, whenever I'm going through a stressful situation, I sit down and pray. Honestly, I walk through life, and I'm constantly praying. I feel like that really started junior year because it was a realization: “Wait, I'm not alone at all because God's always there for me.”

I would point to our parents. I love the theme of duty because we always described them as both living very dutiful lives. Because of the values they instilled in us, we knew that we always wanted to help people, be kind to people, use our voices to empower.

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RELIGION: INFLUENCE & IMPACT [JAM] I can’t even emphasize enough how deeply religious we were raised.

Like multiple pastors in the immediate family, even. Faith was everything, and faith is everything. Even today, our parents would remind us that it is the most important thing no matter what worldly success we aspire to have.

But I had a similar process, especially going away to college, where you are now able to make your own decisions. As a result, my church attendance my first and second year, was terrible. I got lazy, complacent, but I never would say that I stopped believing. Faith was so core, but my practice of it was lacking. I think it took a couple of experiences, a couple of those tough relationships, where it felt like I was taken even farther away. I feel like sometimes you hit experiences where your distance from your faith gets into a danger zone, and an alarm goes off. I was starting to sort of drift away in my practice. I wasn't being a great Christian by any means. Then there came a few times when I felt like my heart was drifting a bit. My inner faith was starting to lose its footing.

My wake-up call happened probably toward the end of the pandemic. I think both of us started getting more active in our church and I returned to what my daily practice is now: a Bible chapter every night and making a habit out of it.

Faith is so important to us, and it ties back to mental and emotional health. There's a huge role that it plays in keeping a positive mindset, I think.

Faith was everything, and faith is everything. Even today, our parents would remind us that it is the most important thing no matter what worldly success we aspire to have.

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Faith was everything, and faith is everything.

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genuine first creative identity as music artists

longevity

help people, be kind to people, use our voices to empower

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outer voice - outer voice - outer voice - outer voice

[JAM] For me, it is to create platforms and spaces that empower others. I think, culturally speaking, our focus is on the South Asian community. We have a personal interest in wanting to represent an even more granular South Indian community, the Mallu community, the Mallu Christian community. We come from a minority of a minority, and I think that affects a lot of how we see the world and see this broader South Asian community. But also, a lot of our work, even beyond this current company that we're building, has been consistently about empowerment. A lot of the work that we did on our campuses in past community service work and other work we did together has always been about a platform of serving.

I think that comes a lot from our family. I think about a grandfather of mine I never met. He passed the year before I was born, but I'm named after him, and he was a pastor, and he was known for just incredible, almost silly generosity. Like, “I don't have it in my pocket, and I'm still giving it to you.” And I think we've always carried that duty.

I think duty can often be inspired by our past and the generations above us.

There's a real feeling that we must serve and create opportunities for others who might not have them.

DUTY

[Philly] I would point to our parents. I love the theme of duty because we always described them as both living very dutiful lives. Because of the values they instilled in us, we knew that we always wanted to help people, be kind to people, and use our voices to empower. I always say that if we get to the end of our lives and what we have done, even if it's a success in our lifetime, we get artist success, our business does well, if it doesn't live on past us, I would have seen it as a failure.

I think what we're doing is so much for future generations as well. So we don't have to have the experience of growing up in an all-white community but then also going home to TV and not seeing anyone that looks like us.

It's so people know that they have endless opportunities of what they can be because they're seeing it in the world. Honestly, I always take it one further and say we're trying to change our representation in America's pop culture, and I think we're trying to make Brown cool. I think our community is not thought of as a cool culture, whatever that means. But that's what we're trying to do. We want to create the next artist that everyone admires. We want to create the next movie star that has the main role that everyone wants to be like and is dressing up like for Halloween. We want to put our culture in broader entertainment and tell these stories for the next generation so that they can grow up, and it's not unique.

They don't have to feel alone, they can see our color on the screen, and they know that that's an option for them if they want it.

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FROM YOUR DIARY

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

"TO ME, MUSIC HAS NO BOUNDARIES. SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME, MUSIC HAS BROUGHT PEOPLE TOGETHER." ANIRUDH RAJAGOPALAN

I am a young Indian-American musical artist. I was born to Indian-origin parents in a city near Osaka, Japan. I am 24 years old and currently live in Raleigh, North Carolina. I am a music composer, director, performer, multi-instrumentalist, and vocalist. I can play as a leading artist, or as an accompanist. Since my early childhood years, I have been exposed to various kinds of Indian, Western, and world genres. I have been performing for over a decade and am a recipient of several prestigious awards. In addition, I have met and had conversations with several world-renowned musicians, most recently Academy Award and Grammy winner A.R. Rahman, and international sensations Jonita Gandhi, Haricharan Seshadri, and A.R. Ameen.

My earliest exposure to music was the South Indian classical style, called Carnatic music, thanks to my first guru, my mother. But while living in Japan, I was also exposed to Japanese styles of music, including traditional and contemporary, just walking along the streets of the bustling cities. In addition, I went to an international school in my home city where musical festivals showcasing music from all around the world were abundant.

This was a catalyst for me developing a keen ear for music of all kinds. Although my music is largely grounded in Indian classical music and Western styles, I have learned to incorporate several different aspects of other world genres, based on my lifelong training and experiences. I am equally at ease in Bollywood music and Ghazals, and I also listen to traditional and Classical Japanese, German Classical, German Folk, Contemporary German and French Pop, Portuguese Fado, Korean, and Japanese Pop. I have also studied both Indian and Western music theory for a number of years, learning and improving on how I write the solfège and other notations to make it easy to read and play for others of different skill levels. I have written music from solo performances to large ensembles and orchestras. I can play both Indian and Western instruments, including Mridangam, Ghatam, Violin, and Piano, and can sing in multiple languages, including English, Hindi, Tamil, Spanish, German, Korean, and Japanese.

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

I have developed a keen ear for music of all kinds of music and seek to build bridges among different groups of people through music. My formative years saw me exposed to various styles. I was always part of diverse school communities, both in Japan and the United States, where diversity was greatly emphasized and celebrated, including through music. Diversity has been a strong pillar of my character, and this translated into my musical ventures and projects over the years. I have trained in different styles of music and have listened to many more that have made me want to incorporate different elements from each style into my works. I have released multiple albums that showcase how I have integrated these different elements and have performed alongside various groups of different styles of music.

What draws me to listen to music from other traditions is not only the different sounds they create but also the common features they all share. For example, different styles of music can evoke an energetic, upbeat feeling, or a more melancholic one. I find it really amazing that so many different styles of music can share so many fundamental ideas and concepts, and that is what made me believe that such styles do not have to be treated as separate and there is a way to unite them together.

As I learned Carnatic and Western music through my formative years, what struck me was that the two different styles share a lot of common basic fundamentals. For example, melodic frameworks are the backbone of both styles. In Carnatic Music, a Raga is a collection of pitches, and each Raga is defined by certain ways of ascending and descending these scales. Fundamentally in Western Music, we see this same basic idea in the form of Major and Minor scales, such as Harmonic minor and Melodic Minor scales.

Another example: Having studied both Indian Carnatic and Western Music Theory, the solfège is written significantly differently between the two genres, but the fundamental purpose remains the same. They are two different ways of notating music, and it is even possible to write the same line of music in both types of solfège. It is exactly like writing a sentence in two different languages. They mean the same thing. One method I use when I want to bring both styles together is, when I perform a Carnatic Concert on stage, when I play Mridangam with a vocalist, I usually put in a few Western drum styles in a few measures, deviating from the purist tradition just a little, while being careful about when to place these beats, so that they do not interrupt the flow of the song.

When transitioning between different genres, I keep in mind that all these genres actually have the same fundamental concepts, even if they are taught differently. Like the example between Carnatic Ragas and Western Major and Minor scales, I look for similar concepts and ideas in all these genres, from the scales they use, to the message they convey to society. I also keep in mind that various musical cultures of the world were actually influenced from other genres.

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

This helps me approach music with a mindset that all music is essentially the same at the core level, these different styles are just different evolutions of the same core ideas.

Along with my musical experiences, non-musical backgrounds of my life have influenced my musical background. In particular, I was exposed to diverse populations from a young age, especially at school. I attended dinners, shows, and other cultural activities that brought people from various walks of life together, sharing their own traditions, and this made me realize that we are all human and there is a lot more that can bring us together, rather than drive us apart. This made me realize that the world lives and thrives on diversity, and music is a key component of this.

My career is built around my belief: We are living in a time when our relationships with one another, as human beings and as different cultures, are in our hands. We have the power to nurture these relationships and draw their course, and music is the universal language for the greater good and leading a life that enriches all.

WHAT WAS YOUR START TO MUSIC? HOW DID YOU BEGIN LEARNING AND WHAT MOTIVATED YOU TO CONTINUE? Since childhood, I’ve always been exposed to various musical genres simultaneously.

I was born in a city near Osaka, Japan, so during my early childhood years, I was exposed to various Japanese genres, such as their folk, classical, and pop music, while walking the bustling streets with my parents.

In addition, I attended an international school in my home city where musical festivals were regularly held, and they showcased music from all corners of the world.

At this early stage in my life, this helped me develop a keen ear for music of all kinds.

My mother, a renowned Carnatic musician, was the one who introduced me to this genre, and it was with her that I practiced every day throughout my childhood. She is a vocalist and Veena player with over 30 years of experience. She grew up learning Carnatic music from her family and has been teaching hundreds of students in the United States and India. Her music school is one of the largest Carnatic Music schools in her region. She has also performed at numerous venues in the United States, India, and Japan.

I took up Mridangam at the age of 9 under a local teacher and seven years later, I started learning from his guru, a more advanced, renowned artiste. I am still actively learning under both my gurus today. I started learning Ghatam shortly after picking up Mridangam.

At school, I started learning Violin and Piano, and have more than 5 years and 15 years in these instruments, respectively.

I also learned vocal music from my mother and continue to practice regularly.

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

I believe this early exposure to different kinds of music slowly crystallized a desire in me to combine elements from these different genres.

My extended family too has considerable musical talents.

One of my uncles, Sriram Parthasarathy, is a renowned multi-instrumentalist and playback singer for South Indian films who has worked with composers and directors such as Harris Jayaraj, Ilaiyaraaja, and A.R. Rahman. He is the recipient of several prestigious awards, including a Tamil Nadu State Film Award, Filmfare Award, and South Indian International Movie Award.

Sriram Parthasarathy’s father, my granduncle, R. Parthasarathy, is an accomplished singer and Veena player who has played for veteran music directors such as K.V. Mahadevan, Ilaiyaraaja, A.R. Rahman, and Vidyasagar. He and A.R. Rahman were childhood friends. With over 40 years of experience, he has played for over 1500 films. He was my mother’s guru and taught her Veena from a young age, and she still plays almost every night.

In addition, many of my family members are active singers and instrumentalists, from my younger brother to cousins, aunts, and uncles abroad in India.

I also try to be aware of what is happening around me, and I try to think of what relationship music can have with different aspects of life and beyond.

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I just allow inspiration to strike at any moment and write down my thoughts before the moment passes. I might leave right in the middle of dinner, or when I’m walking around my house, I may accidentally bump into a table, wall, or door, completely engrossed in my idea.

Technological advancements have also played a significant role in my musical journey. With smartphones these days, I can always go on YouTube to listen to a Carnatic concert while I am making dinner, or I can listen to some Bollywood or European playlists when I run on the treadmill. I have spent over a decade playing music and performing in many different venues. College exposed me to several social media platforms, and I have posted my vocal and instrumental music videos on these. I may not have a thousand likes or even a few thousand views, but I still feel proud I have a way to share my work with people.

What really motivates me to continue is the amazing support and encouragement I have from my family and friends. My parents are my biggest fans. Spending time with them and celebrating my successes with them is what keeps me going. I am never afraid of introducing new ideas to them. When I release new music, whether through a movie, or a soundtrack, I feel like a whole new world has opened up. I see a new direction to embark on yet another adventure.

FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

What really motivates me to continue is the amazing support and encouragement I have from my family and friends. My parents are my biggest fans. Spending time with them and celebrating my successes with them is what keeps me going. I am never afraid of introducing new ideas to them. When I release new music, whether through a movie, or a soundtrack, I feel like a whole new world has opened up. I see a new direction to embark on yet another adventure.

WHAT IS MY DUTY TO MUSIC? I feel that my duty to music is to always be in close touch with it and continue to share it with others. Music, for me, is a vehicle to make my mark and share the unique talents and gifts that I have been blessed with from my family. Coming from a family of musical celebrities, my parents instilled in me the idea that life is all about helping others. But it wasn’t until some years passed that I began to understand the real value of music in my life and what I had. Over time, as my mindset changed and I continued with my musical career, I realized that my connection to music stretches well beyond my family. I continued to perform more as I progressed through grade school and college. This is when I started to think more about the immense depth of music and its emotional impact on people, regardless of background. I soon realized that music is a whole universe of feelings for all kinds of people. It made me realize that music is much more than just playing and performing; it’s about conveying different feelings and emotions with the world and creating something bigger. I realized that I had this larger purpose growing inside of me with music, and I felt I was meant to show who I am and where my interests are via sharing my musical works with the world. Music is where artists are conveying their own feelings and identities, and I feel that music is a unique vehicle to convey my own thoughts and feelings that can often be difficult to express in words. Music is like a gateway to express yourself more freely. It is like you are starting with a blank canvas and music is a constantly expanding universe whose elements you can pick from to paint your picture, and your story.

WOULD I SAY I HAVE A DUTY TO MY CULTURE? As someone who regularly engages in cultural activities year-round, I feel very connected to my roots by participating in such rituals and events, as it makes me feel at home. I usually look for opportunities to perform during such cultural events. For example, Diwali is one of the more active times of the year I have in performing Mridangam or singing for a show. I see my culture as a way to celebrate the value of life. My culture has been the backbone for where I was before and how far I have come today, and the road ahead.

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4

I realize that my culture has become indispensable, and I have developed an unshaken faith and commitment to stay connected to it as it has guided the decisions and choices, I have made in my life so far. I have now realized from most of my life experiences, that roots are the most wonderful gifts that I have, and no matter where I go in life, I will always find myself coming back to them. I feel what I can do best for my culture is to embrace it and keep in close touch with it and share it with the world to show who I truly am, in the way I can show it best.

When I started following my passion for music, I soon learned that my works were also influencing others as they were my audience. It was really encouraging to see others being positively influenced by my work, as I have received comments from others saying that my works help them see a new dimension to cultural ties, and it’s something that they would not have experienced in any other way. It also helps spread a new understanding, feeling, and unique energy that only music can do. I cannot tell you how encouraged I have been by the overwhelming amount of support I have had throughout my musical career from people at home and abroad. And as the years went by, I was asking myself more often about what I could continue to do for others. How can I keep helping people? How can I continue making their lives better? This is when my passion started to become my duty to others. My duty was stemming out of passion, which makes it even more enjoyable to keep going. All of my works are influenced by Indian musical aspects and other world genres, and so when I bring such elements together, I realize I am sharing a number of ideas that show how there is something larger out there than all of us, something that all humanity can aspire to for the greater good.

I believe that preserving any cultural heritage is done most effectively when we share it with the world. When we promote our heritage, we are bringing it to life, showing what makes it valuable for the current and future generations.

I now see myself following my own passion while serving a certain duty to my audience: to keep going at music and continue to improve and expand my work and reach a wider global audience and touch others’ lives in more meaningful ways.

Reflecting on my journey so far and the road ahead, I feel more energized to continue learning and growing as a musician. And I know that it is perfectly okay to create and share music that reflects my own unique style created from my own unique life experiences and thoughts. After all, everyone is different, so it is okay to think different.

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FROM YOUR DIARY | VOLUME 4 HOW HAVE YOUR ELDERS/PARENTS INFLUENCED YOUR MUSIC? DO YOU FEEL SUPPORTED BY THEM? My family has influenced my musical career greatly as they have always stood by and supported me through all my works and events, through all the ups and downs. Whenever I have a good performance, they put me on the back and encourage me to go even further.

And when I have a bad performance, they lift my spirits and suggest ways to bounce back. I feel very grateful to have such a loving family that continues to believe in me and support me to realize my dreams and vision.

My mother and I still perform music together, and I think of her as my Steve Jobs. She was the person who really got me going in music. She always inspires me to reach for the stars every time she sings, and I accompany her on Mridangam. And we have so much fun that we don’t even notice the hours flying by.

As I started growing an audience at home and online to my new ideas and unique approaches, my parents supported me even more. They are my greatest blessings.

One thing that has become clear to me over the years is that being the best at something, or winning, is not everything. To me, having a strong support system of genuine friends, family, and gurus is much more important and meaningful than any award or recognition.

The recognition I have today would not have happened without them.

My mother, father, brother, relatives, and gurus have always been incredibly positive and have encouraged me to continue working hard. They have believed in me and supported me through all the ups and downs of my musical journey. I would not be where I am today were it not for my elders.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY. (YOUR CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD, HOW HAS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH EVOLVED) I have spent most of my life in a very diverse suburb where my classmates at school would often judge others like me without really knowing us or taking the time to understand us.

I was labeled all the time and many of these labels had nothing to do with who I was.

When I told people what kind of music I play and perform, they mocked me, from the hallways to the cafeteria, and even in class. I felt I was not given the best chance to express myself or tell people about myself before someone would judge me. My journey has really been about self-expression and not being afraid to be myself. I found comfort in knowing that there is a place in this world for everyone and there is a place for me to express myself. I channeled this growing energy into music, something that has been in my family’s blood for generations.

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My mental health was often influenced by external expectations and validation. The compulsion to compare myself to others came, at first, from others, but soon started emanating from within me as I grew older. From grades, to sports, and other extracurriculars, competition and comparison was everywhere, and that put a lot of pressure on me. I constantly compared myself to other talented and capable people and felt that I was not good enough, which was really discouraging. But I am not a million people. I am one person. One person with my own unique talents and capabilities.

Th e b r o wn population spends a s i g n i f i c a n t a mo u n t o f t i me c o mp a r i n g and analyzing how they stack up to others, and at the end of the day, there i s n o r e a l b e n e f i t f r o m t h i s . I wa s subject to stereotyping not just from people of other races and ethnicities, b u t e v e n f r o m my o wn k i n d a s t h e y e a r s we n t b y .

There is always going to be judgment from others, no matter what you already have in life. But how you choose to take this judgment determines your confidence in selfexpression and the direction you take. Whenever I feel low, I practice music and channel and convert all the negativity into positive energy. I feel that this energy can give others a unique new view on the value of life and the meaning of togetherness and humanity.

Music is in my blood, and I believe it is my mission to show that music can be used to break stereotypes. Music is a unifying force. It can help spread a positive message in creative ways, from lyrics to instrumentation, challenging existing assumptions, and breaks down walls of negative beliefs. Music is how I make myself heard; it is how I express my identity. And, best of all, I can create music on my own platform.

Once I realized that the world thrives on people being different, I became less fearful of being judged and struck up conversations with all kinds of people about music. I soon learned that there is much more than unites than divides us. I also learned that there is so much more to learn about music that I do not know yet.

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WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY WITH YOUR MUSIC? To me, music has no boundaries. Since the beginning of time, music has brought people together.

Music is also very liberating. I have built my own platform from the ground up based on my experiences in Indian and Western styles and charted my own path. There was no template saying I had to be a certain type of musician, and this freedom has allowed me to put myself out there more confidently and more creatively.

What I really love about music is the creative aspect. When inspiration strikes, I see it as a new adventure that is calling me. Sometimes, I leave right in the middle of dinner or linger in bed to write my ideas down before I forget them.

It was my innate curiosity that drove me to experiment with different instruments and combinations. No one I knew said no to this, so I asked myself, “Why not?” Over the years, I have gained new experiences where I realized that when people come together and share music or sing and play together, there is this indescribable camaraderie. The light becomes brighter, the air suddenly becomes more pure, and there is this sense of joy. Whenever I perform a musical piece, I feel elevated. Performing in front of diverse audiences, from my high school to one of the biggest Carnatic Music festivals in the world, leaves me elevated and inspires me to keep going.

I have made so many connections with so many different people from various walks of life. Sometimes, I talk to people online via video chat, or we get together in person and try out new ideas. I’ve been fortunate to collaborate with some of my mother’s own students, artists across the United States, globally critically acclaimed conductors, and many more amazing people.

In 2022, I had an opportunity to converse with international sensation Jonita Gandhi, a popular YouTuber and playback singer in the Indian Film Industry. Our conversation revolved around diversity in music where she told me something inspiring: be willing to take that leap of faith and expand your horizons to build bridges. It was an incredible experience to share my work with her and learn from her as well.

Each idea I hear really inspires me to think in a new direction and expand on my horizons. These are the connections and conversations that I truly cherish. The ideas that I have heard over the years have inspired the over 50 songs I have released on all major streaming platforms and counting.

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By creating and sharing music, I have learned what it means to express and share identities and attributes. It is also about filling the emptiness inside that asks us to accept ourselves first.

Also, it is okay to make mistakes along the way, but what’s most important is learning the right lessons from these experiences. I have made numerous mistakes in my life, from practicing to performing, and I think the real reason I was able to bounce back was because I told myself, “Making mistakes does not make you weak; it makes you stronger especially when you now realize the value of their lessons.”

As it turned out, doubt and negative opinions from others was the catalyst that made me more confident in self-expression. It is what pushed me to think more about my own self, step outside my own boundaries, and channel this negative energy into positivity. I’m learning to go with the flow and follow my heart, and to be fearless in taking the next step, even if I do not know where exactly it will take me. I have become a risk taker.

WHERE ARE YOU HEADED IN YOUR CAREER NOW? I continue practicing all my instruments regularly to keep my hands in good shape and keep in touch with my gurus. Music is my personal therapy which helps me improve my mood and more importantly, reduce stress. I continue to collaborate with my family and various groups in my area and online, and I continue to learn more about working with symphonies and other types of groups. I am currently part of the SMYA Collective (a fusion band I co-founded in Durham with a few friends), and a visiting artist for the Durham Symphony Orchestra. My journey has also brought me to Berklee College of Music, where I am studying to obtain some professional certifications in Music Business, Music Marketing, and Musical Societies. I am also expanding into other ventures via connections with other people, including content creation and various ambassador opportunities. I enjoy creating and sharing new music while exploring new ventures, meeting and working with others, while learning all along the way. I have some new projects coming soon and cannot wait to share them with the world.

I hope my platform can serve as an example for other aspiring brown artists who want to share something wonderful with the world and express themselves authentically as they are.

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“Difference is the sauce of life; it is the beauty, it is the art of everything. Difference makes all beautiful here. It is variety that is the source of life, the sign of life.”

- Swami Vivekananda

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SPECIAL

THANKS

Thank you to God for allowing us to carry out his mission.

Thank you to my parents for patiently teaching me the Bhagavad Gita wherein the lessons inspired this issue.

Thank you to my husband for holding my hand, wiping my tears & working hard with me by my side as the Summer Solstice issue was created.

Thank you to my crew for bringing this vision to life - the late nights, the long days & the edits upon edits.

Thank you to the readers: you motivate, inspire & create with me. I will forever be grateful.

the INDIAN STANDARD

credits

SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023

COVER MIND Shevya Awasthi Local Color: Ragini Jha Rhea Shetty Skanda Sriganesh BODY Fable & Mane Without Borders: Sahil Patel Slesha Patel SOUL Local Color: Diya Beharie Outer Voice Anirudh Rajagopalan BACK COVER

@skxnda @bysahilkumar x @by.janani @shevthehev @cardamom.counselling @rhea.shetty @skxnda @bysahilkumar x @by.janani @fableandmane @sahilp811 @slemyname @bysahilkumar x @by.janani @diyaxcreates @outervoicemedia @anirudhvraja @skxnda CREW

Photography Videography Set Design Public Relations

@bysahilkumar @shotbyshake @mirapatelll @azharpublicrelations

SOCIAL MEDIA

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@theindianstandard @theindianstandard

www.theindianstandard.co

the INDIAN STANDARD

bibliography

SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023 LOCAL COLOR - DIYA BEHARIE 1. GoodTherapy. (2016). Transactional Analysis. https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-abouttherapy/types/transactional-analysis 2. Paras, D. (2020). What is transactional analysis theory? https://www.matrrix.in/blogs/what-is-transactionalanalysis?fbclid=IwAR3lIYsJeVXqGH0tpnIRCvDHMZMdjEnLZt5DnmN9RAgBwrSL7Temn9rlSbk 3. Bose, N. (2020). South Asian Migrations in Global History : Labor, Law, and Wayward Lives. http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/aut/detail.action?docID=6375205.

4. (Salberg, J. Grand, S. (2016) Wounds of History: Repair and Resilience in the Trans-Generational Transmission of Trauma, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/aut/detail.action?docID=4766975.

5. Pearl Drego. (1983). The Cultural Parent, Transactional Analysis Journal, 13:4, 224-227, https://doi.org/10.1177/036215378301300404 6. Patel, N. (2021). How to Heal From Generational Trauma? https://browngirltrauma.com/how-to-heal-fromgenerational-trauma-infographic-included/ 7. Wolynn, M. (2017). It Didn’t Start with You : How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle. https://search-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.aut.ac.nz/login.aspx? direct=true&db=nlebk&AN=1148030&site=ehost-live&scope=site&ebv=EK&ppid=Page-__-1 8. Key Concepts in Transactional Analysis. (2014). Retrieved from https://itaaworld.org/key-conceptstransactional-analysis 9. Deckard, D, K. Panneton, R. (2017). Parental Stress and Early Child Development: Adaptive and Maladaptive Outcomes. https://link-springer-com.ezproxy.aut.ac.nz/book/10.1007%2F978-3-319-55376-4 10. Hancock, F. Morgan, L, J. Newton, P. McCreanor, T. (2020) The case of Ihumatao: Interrogating competing corporate and Indigenous visions of the future. https://librarysearch.aut.ac.nz/vufind/EdsRecord/sih,147355294 11. Health Government NZ. (2020). Te Tiriti O Waitangi. https://www.health.govt.nz/ourwork/populations/maori-health/te-tiriti-o-waitangi

bibliography

SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023 LOCAL COLOR - RAGINI JHA [1] https://positivepsychology.com/learned-helplessness-seligman-theory-depression-cure/ [2] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/089124388002003004 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/089124388002003004

the WORD S E A R C H

answer key

SUMMER SOLSTICE 2023

J L L S X J

I N F L U E N C E U N M

O G X E T R V B X F S O U L L Z O N U A R G O A L S V D U T Y R Q H A X R F Q M N U J B C U X V P F G Z R B N S H B R O W N K P U R P O S E T W E T R A N S M U T A T I O N Z Z I

I

Y D E S I R E R S J M I N D S N S S S V N Z Z P D R E A M S X E C Y T H B O D Y P G P R O G R E S S C E M E E A U R E P R E S E N T A T I O N S O R A N G E T P O N G H O M E Q Q Y C R R Z H J T V O M H H S D I L S D

With love & gratitude,