Surprise AUG Edition

Page 1


20 op Five

It’s hard to believe we’ve made it to August! I hope your summer has been filled with family, fun and friendships.

This month, The Grand Season’s focus is on the issue of family estrangement. I’ve seen a lot of social content trending about adult children going “no contact” with their parents for all kinds of reasons. If you’re one of these parents, I cannot imagine the pain you must feel. Hopefully, the tips in this issue will give you the courage to move forward.

Despite the crazy heat, I’d like to encourage you to spend a little time each day pursuing something you love, whether it be writing, crafting, cooking, exercising or coloring.

Also, if you find your home is in need of a little TLC, I hope you’ll reach out to one of our amazing advertising partners—you’ll not only receive incredible craftmanship, you’ll support the local economy.

Savor each day,

CLOSETS

Ronnie & Tom

Our patio structures will not warp, twist or rot! These products look like real wood and are durable and solid. They’re maintenance free, are available in 7 baked enamel colors and come with a lifetime limited warranty We install various sizes of interior faux beams to add custom touches in your home. The beams are available in various stains, patterns, and can be painted. We offer K-6 seamless and half round raingutter in 30 baked on enamel colors. We also supply and install custom radiused gutter for rounded entryways.

AAA SENIOR PLACEMENT AZ

A Message from Sue Royer

“I was born and raised in inner city Chicago, the sixth of eighteen children with fifteen brothers. Being the oldest daughter, I was always a caregiver which I believe influenced me to pursue work in the healthcare industry. Today, I have three daughters and five grandchildren.

Years ago, I volunteered for hospice and knew immediately that helping seniors was my calling. I was soon employed by hospice but I felt something was missing. I realized it was the limited time I was able to spend with my clients. Having my own business allows me to provide the intimate hands on service needed in our community. I am committed to our seniors throughout their lives and I thank the community for the opportunity to serve.”

About Us

Since 2002, AAA Senior Placement AZ has been offering FREE services helping seniors find safe, affordable and loving assisted living.

When it becomes too difficult for you or your loved ones to safely manage daily living and/or manage medical needs, call Sue Royer for help navigating the many options available.

We are specialists in all levels of assisted living care resources with referrals to Arizona’s best:

• Group Homes

• Assisted Living Communities

• In-Home Primary Care Physicians

• Home Health Care Therapy

• Transportation

• Private Duty In-Home Care

• Respite Care

• Alzheimer’s Care

• Memory Care

• Hospice

• Support Groups

Assisted living resources accepting:

• Private pay

• Arizona Long Term Care-ALTCS

• Medicaid

• VA Benefits

6 Reasons You Should Call

AAA Senior Placement AZ

• We are well known and respected in the medical community.

• All clients are given a thorough assessment to determine proper placement needs.

• There is never a fee charged to the senior or their family for our service.

• We are NOT contractually bound to any outside business. This allows us to serve our clients with only their interests in mind.

• Years of knowledge and experience in the field of senior care.

• AAA Senior Placement AZ is family owned, allowing us to give you quality, personalized service.

HOLD ONTO HOPE

If you’re a grandparent cut off from your adult child and grandchildren, take heart— this is not the end of your story. While some estrangements are caused by serious issues like abuse or addiction, many stem from complex, everyday dynamics. Grandparents may have crossed

boundaries, failed to resolve old conflicts, or been caught in the middle of a divorce. Sadly, many are left unsure of what went wrong or how long the silence will last. The emotional toll is heavy: isolation, depression, and shame are common. While the pain is sharp for grandparents,

grandchildren suffer too— losing relationships that could provide love, support, and connection.

Still, reconciliation is possible. The most powerful path forward is through unconditional love. Avoid anger or resentment, even if your efforts aren’t returned. Send kind messages, share updates, and offer grace. Show you’re willing to make amends—without defending yourself.

Sometimes a dominant personality (often a daughter-in-law) controls access. Their behavior may reflect insecurity or past wounds, not your actions. Show respect for their role. Help your adult child, who may feel stuck in the middle, see you as support—not more stress.

Keep reaching out in small ways: birthday cards, warm texts, or simple notes without blame. If contact is completely cut off, wait six months before trying again.

Meanwhile, prepare a future gift for your grandchildren. Collect letters, photos, family recipes, or keepsakes. Share memories and love, even during silence. These will be treasures if and when contact resumes.

Above all, care for yourself. Seek support, stay socially engaged, and serve others. Volunteering with children can be healing.

Remember, you’re not alone. Grandparent estrangement is more common than people realize. With love, patience, and hope, reconciliation is still possible.

FLASHBACK

1. Which group released “Sugar Magnolia”?

2. Leroy Brown, “the baddest man in the whole damn town,” came from what big city?

3. Which duo had their first hit with “Yesterday’s Gone”?

4. Name the group that released “The Game of Love.”

5. Name the song that contains this lyric: “You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back.”

BUT TRUE

Bamboo is the fastest-growing woody plant in the world, with an ability to sprout up to 35 inches in a single day.

The word “cereal” comes from “Ceres,” the Roman goddess of harvest and agriculture.

Popes can’t be organ donors, since their bodies belong to the Vatican when they die.

Ranch dressing, America’s best-selling salad dressing since 1992, was created by an Alaskan plumber in the 1950s.

It would take 19 minutes to fall to the center of the earth.

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise.

The world’s largest bowling alley is in Japan, with a whopping 116 lanes.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A dog that is a cross between a Chihuahua and a miniature Dachshund is known as a chiweenie.

The word “mortgage” comes from a French word meaning “death contract.”

Panda bears have been known to eat for 12 hours straight.

Leaders in Dermatology & Plastic Surgery

About Regency Specialties

Regency Specialties is a trusted name in Arizona for cosmetic and medical excellence. Our team of highly skilled professionals is dedicated to providing top-tier care in both aesthetic and medical services. Whether you are seeking to enhance your natural beauty or address medical concerns, we strive to deliver transformation results that renew confidence and improve overall well-being. At Regency Specialties, your journey to looking and feeling your best starts here.

Our Services

Dermatology

• Skin Cancer Detection & Prevention

• Skin Cancer Treatment

• Cosmetic Dermatology

• Medical Dermatology

Plastic Surgery

• Regency Lift

• Breast Reconstruction/Augmentation

• Body Contouring

• Rhinoplasty

Sclerotherapy

Radio-frequency ablation

Matisse Med-spa

• Facials & Peels

• Aesthetic Injections

• Lasers & Devices

• Waxing, Lashes & Brows

Hair Transplantation

• Follicular Unit Extraction (FUE)

• Platelet-Rich Plasma Therapy (PRP)

• Hairline Restoration

Micro-Phlectopmy

Dr. Betty Hinderks Davis MD, FAAD
Dr. Jason Mussman MD, FACS

1. Is the book of Lamentations (KJV) in the Old or New Testament or neither?

2. Which Moabit woman became ancestress of King David through her marriage to Boaz? Sarah, Jezebel, Ruth, Leah

3. From Daniel 6, which king called to David in a lamentable voice? Pilate, Darius, Herod, Solomon

4. What’s a binding agreement made between God and a person or group? Daric, Crown, Covenant, Commandment

5. From 2 Samuel 12, who said “Thou art the man”? Boaz, Samson, Isaac, Nathan

6. Who said, “My soul doth magnify the Lord”? Ruth, Sarah, Miriam, Mary

1) Old 2) Ruth 3) Darius 4) Covenant 5) Nathan 6) Mary

ACRYLIC DECKING of ARIZONA

•Want to finish “The Look” of your landscaping?

•Want to protect yourself and your pet’s feet from burning cement?

has the answers to all of these problems!

FAMILY-RUN BUSINESS

DINING GUIDE

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Nothing can create more feelings of shame than to be rejected by your own child.

Joshua Coleman, psychologist and author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along says, “We have also socialized [our children] to believe that they should prioritize their well-being, be assertive, and not let anything or anyone interfere with their happiness. Sadly, we didn’t realize that we would one day be one of the items on the menu that interferes with their happiness.”

As Dr. Coleman points out, “You can’t be a parent and not make mistakes. This does not mean that your mistakes are the reason for your estrangement or that you deserve it. But, I have never seen a reconciliation happen without the parent at least being willing to look at their own part in why the adult child has created such a powerful form of distance between themselves and the parent.”

If you are estranged from an adult child or if you are experiencing estrangement yourself, here’s how to begin the healing process:

1. Seek support.

Healing from the psychological challenge of estrangement involves dealing with feelings of profound vulnerability. Shore up your psychological strength by seeking the support of those that understand estrangement and can help.

2. Seek connection.

Invest in people and activities that can help you restore a sense of your identity as a person and meaning in your life. Going on with your life and doing well can relieve the estranged child from the guilt and worry that he or she may be experiencing. Doing well in your life lets your child know that you are resilient and creates your best chance of reconnecting at some point in the future.

3. Seek forgiveness.

Your child may not forgive you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of forgiveness for your mistakes as a parent. Put the focus on learning to forgive yourself as you make amends for your mistakes. Don’t expect the self-forgiveness process to go quickly or easily — it is actually preceded by processing hurt, anger and regret — but the resulting peace of mind will be worth it. And forgiving yourself will also make it easier to forgive your adult child, whether or not you reconnect.

1. What placekicker from Cyprus won two Super Bowls with the Miami Dolphins and was the last NFL player to play without a facemask?

2. If you’re watching runners compete in the Bowerman Mile, where are you?

3. Name the American golfer who was the first to play in two Presidents Cup tournaments (1994, 1998) without playing in a Ryder Cup. (Hint: He shares a name with a legendary filmmaker.)

4. Swimmer Trischa Zorn won a record 55 medals in the Paralympic Games from 1980 to 2004, competing with what disability?

1) Garo Yepremian. 2) At the Prefontaine Classic at the University of Oregon in Eugene. 3) John Huston. 4) Blindness.

Dinner and a Movie!

1.

3.

4.

7.

GROWTH

LEAN IN

Losing your relationship with your adult child isn’t something any parent can imagine. It’s understandable if you feel powerless when no contact is possible, when you can’t negotiate or even talk with your child. Figuring out how you should move forward isn’t straightforward. The following are some suggestions on how to move forward:

1. Get Support

Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. That’s why being connected to others who love and understand you is particularly important. In addition to reaching out to friends and family, consider joining a support group.

2. Don’t Cut off in Response

You are not the one cutting ties; your child is. Don’t cut off your child in response. Continue to reach out to him, letting him know that you love him and that you want to mend whatever has broken. Send birthday and holiday messages as well as occasional brief notes or emails. Send your warmth, love and compassion—as you get on with your life.

3.

Don’t Feed the Anger

It’s understandable to feel angry. Anger is natural, but not helpful. Step back and try to understand what led to this estrangement. What patterns were operating in your family dance? If you can look at your family from a more factual vantage point, it may feel less personal.

4.

Listen to Your Child Without Defending Yourself

If the door opens with your child, listen with an open heart. Listen to her perceptions of what wrongs took place. Even if you disagree with her, look for the grains of truth. Be willing to look at yourself. It’s hard to hear these criticisms, especially if your intentions were misunderstood. Your adult child may need to hold on to blame as a way to manage her own anxiety. Just letting her know that you hear her will go a long way.

5. Focus on Yourself, Not Your Child

If you do begin communicating again, you will be in a position to learn from the mistakes of the past and work toward an improved relationship. Put your efforts into changing yourself, not your child. Let go of your resentments regarding the estrangement. Understand his need to flee—and forgive him.

HELPFUL TOOLS

When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along

This unique book helps parents work through the pain, shame, and sense of loss that they feel when their relationship with their older or adult children has not turned out as they hoped or expected. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we lose the opportunity to be the parent we desperately want to be and must mourn the loss of a harmonious relationship with our child. Although this situation may seem hopeless, When Parents Hurt is designed to help us through this intensely difficult situation with compassion and thoughtfulness.

I Thought We’d Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation

In this book, Laura Davis tackles the critical issue of reconciling relationships that have been damaged by betrayal, anger, and misunderstanding.

With clarity and compassion, Davis maps the reconciliation process through gripping first-person stories of people who have mended relationships in a wide variety of circumstances. In these pages, parents reconcile with children, embittered siblings reconnect, angry friends reunite, and war veterans and crime victims meet with their enemies. Davis weaves these powerful accounts with her own experiences reconciling with her mother after a long, painful estrangement.

Beyond Done With The Crying: More Answers and Advice for Parents of Estranged Adult Children

This follow-up to Sheri McGregor’s highly regarded Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children (2016) draws from her survey of more than 50,000 parents of estranged adult children, as well as her personal experiences and hundreds of interviews with hurting families. She debunks the faulty thinking and advice of this blame-theparent era, and provides sensible alternatives that support your well-being. McGregor’s reflection points and innovative exercises promote growth and help you connect with your personal integrity and strength.

Ten thorough chapters contain relevant research, reflection questions, exercises, and commonsense advice about the gritty, complex issues parents of estranged adult children face. Expand your self-awareness, strengthen your resilience, and take positive action for your life, your family, and your happiness. Gain wisdom from other parents and grandparents, as well as from the grandchildren and siblings.

G & A ROOFING

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 2-5 months

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 2-5 months

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 2-5 months

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 2-5 months

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 1-2 months

Precooked hot dogs

Refrigerator: 7 days Freezer: 1-2 months

Refrigerator: 3-4 days Freezer: 1 month

Preserved Sausage

Refrigerator: 3 weeks

Freezer: 2-3 months

Refrigerator: 2-3 days

Freezer: 1 month Deli

Refrigerator: 3-5 days

DIGGING DEEPER

In recent years, a quiet revolution has been taking place behind closed doors. More and more adult children are choosing to go no contact with their parents—not out of spite, but out of a desire for peace, boundaries, and emotional survival.

While society has long upheld the belief that family is sacred and untouchable, the reality for many is far more complicated. These decisions are not made lightly. Often, they are the result of years—if not decades—of unresolved trauma, emotional neglect, and repeated efforts to repair what was broken.

Let’s take a deeper look into the reasons behind this rising phenomenon and explore why estrangement, for some, is the healthiest path forward.

1. Childhood Trauma and Abuse

For many, the roots of estrangement stretch back to early life. Emotional neglect, physical abuse, or chronic criticism during childhood can leave deep emotional wounds.These experiences often lead to a need for firm boundaries in adulthood— boundaries that parents may not be willing to accept.

2. Mental Health and Substance Abuse

When a parent struggles with untreated mental illness or addiction, the environment can become toxic. Adult children often choose distance not out of judgment, but out of self-preservation. They are seeking peace, not punishment.

3. Differing Values and Beliefs

Political rifts, religious disagreements, or opposing worldviews can cause lasting conflict—especially when one side refuses to acknowledge or respect the other. When adult children feel judged or dismissed for their life choices, they may begin to view distance as a form of protection.

4. Crossing Boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a key part of any healthy adult relationship—including those with parents. But for some, especially children of “helicopter” or controlling parents, attempts to individuate are met with resistance or guilt-tripping.

5. A Cultural Shift in Perspective

Today’s generations are increasingly empowered to prioritize mental health and emotional well-being over traditional family expectations. Therapy, open conversations about trauma, and shifting cultural norms are helping normalize what was once taboo: putting yourself first, even if it means walking away from family.

Estrangement is not about bitterness or revenge. It is often the final step after years of trying—trying to be understood, to be heard, to be loved in ways that feel safe and reciprocal.

FLASHBACK

1. The Grateful Dead, in 1970. The song first came out on their “American Beauty” album and was one of their best-known songs.

2. He lived on the south side of Chicago in Jim Croce’s 1973 hit “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.”

3. Chad & Jeremy, in 1963. The song was the first that Chad Stuart had ever written. It was also translated into French and was titled “Pas Aujourd’hui.”

4. Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders, in 1965. The song topped the charts in the U.S. but missed the top spot in the English group’s U.K. home.

5. “I’ll Be There,” by the Jackson 5, in 1970. The song was the group’s most successful single ever and stayed at the top of the chart for five weeks. Michael Jackson was only 12 when it was released.

P.O. Box 5474 • Sun City West, AZ 85376 POSTMASTER: PLEASE DELIVER BY August 9

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.