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Friday 14.07.2017 thedistrictpost.co.uk
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‘I was able to go back to being mum’s daughter not her carer’ By Mandy Martin - Horsham “My mum, Lynne was an auxiliary nurse; all her life she cared for people, that’s just who she was. She had a stubborn streak too. You’d never be able to get her to do something she didn’t want to, and she was an organiser, right down to the instructions she left about dressing her in her favourite skirt and making sure she had her most treasured photos and letters from us all when she was gone. Mum had been feeling unwell since late 2015. She always had aches and pains so none of us thought much of it, but in May 2016, she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and we were given options to help her. The minute we heard the word hospice, we thought ‘that’s it, job’s done’, but now we know that’s not completely true. Dr Gregory, one of St Catherine’s doctors, came to visit mum at home and was so good at explaining things. She was always happy to talk and give us time, and that
made a real difference. Mum also had support from St Catherine’s community nurses, who helped manage her pain at home, but when it became too much, she was admitted to the hospice. When I brought mum to St Catherine’s, it was my first time here. Mum didn’t want to go to St Catherine’s and neither me or my sister could get her to move from the car. She was so nervous her knees were knocking but a nurse spoke with her and she agreed to go inside. The minute we entered the hospice, someone offered me a cup of tea, and I instantly realised it wasn’t what I expected. It wasn’t like a hospital, it felt like a little hotel with a community feel. It was warm and welcoming and I wasn’t scared about leaving mum as I knew she’d be looked after. We settled mum into her room and helped her make it her own. She loved purple, it was her favourite, so we brought her purple bedding, family pictures and flowers, and myself and my sisters stayed with her overnight, sleeping in a chair by her bed,
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or in the relatives’ room. It was lovely that there were no visiting time restrictions - we could just be with mum whenever she needed us and, thanks to St Catherine’s, I was able to go back to being mum’s daughter - not her carer. Small details made a real difference too. We loved indulging in the ward’s drinks trolley and, one day, when an ice cream van arrived at the hospice, nurses brought mum an ice cream. She absolutely loved it! When mum was approaching the end, a doctor took us into the relatives’ room and told us it was short days. It was a nice way to put it, and I’ll never forget how lovely all the staff were, or how selflessly they cared for mum. Whenever they were with her, they’d talk to her even though she couldn’t answer, they used slip sheets to move her, they brushed her hair, and made sure she was eating and drinking whenever she was able. They even dipped a soft brush in water to keep mum’s lips moist. Whatever mum needed, it was there. Continued on page 2
Mandy and Mum Lynne
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