The Cougar Press Edition 71-06: The "Sex and Dating Edition"

VHS Journalism

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March 1, 2019

“There is no remedy for love, but to love more.”

-Henry David Thoreau

Volume 71 Edition 06

Stuck in the wrong body but staying strong Three students juggle all the tasks that come with being a teenager while dealing with the trials and tribulations of being transgender.

Miles Bennett

“My breasts feel like cancerous tumors and my voice feels like the result of some horrible accident. I don’t feel like I grew up with these things, and I feel like the ‘feminine’ things about me are all viruses and disfigurements. I felt depersonalized/dissociated for a good 3 years in middle school just because puberty was doing something to me that I didn’t identify with at all.”

“I feel a kind of disconnect with my body.[My body] doesnt feel or look like me, which is super hard to deal with.”

-Tallent

This is an excerpt of a description of gender dysphoria by senior Alexander Chrimes.

Gender dysphoria is defined as the distress that comes with not identifying with the gender one was assigned with at birth, and transgender people like Chrimes have to endure it every single day.

Chrimes, as well as

Transgender students, senior Alexander Crimes (left) and juniors Max Bolle (center) and Noah Tallent (right) use their clothing and mannerisms to express their gender identity. Photo by: Miles Bennett

juniors Noah Tallent and Max Bolle, agreed to be interviewed

by The Cougar Press so that the public may be educated on what life is like as a transgender student. All three of these men are transgender males (meaning that they are biologically female, but identify as male) and have all been “out” for a few years each, so they were happy to share their experience with the public.

Right off the bat, the three agreed that most people on campus don’t listen to or understand them when it comes to being transgender.

On this, Tallent stated, “The main thing that comes like to my brain is like being misgendered. Because, [VHS is full of a] bunch of teenagers so no one really [cares about our pronouns]. And the teachers- like, I get they’re trying- they have a lot of students. But, I feel like my

teachers will call me Noah, but none of them actually remember that my pronouns are he/him.

Like, none of them.”

When a transgender person is “misgendered” that means that someone has referred to them by the incorrect pronouns, which can happen both on purpose and by accident.

For example, accidently referring to a transgender male by the pronoun “her” is considered misgendering; but, in most cases, a transgender person will forgive you if you catch yourself and apologize for the mistake, according to Chrimes, Tallent and Bolle.

However, on campus, Bolle feels like people will have one of two reactions. continued on... page 7

* The data in these graphs was recorded by The Cougar Press’ annual Sex and Dating Survey *

Illustration by: Juliana Jacobson

VUSD students share their thoughts on participating in their own sexual education.

The Cougars Press’s newspaper edition concerning sexual topics does not completely cover all aspects of sexual education.

Lily Lara Doug Sanford

However, it sets VHS apart by the idea of helping students relate to and understand the often uncomfortable topics they are being taught in the classroom.

In this year’s annual Sex and Dating Survey, 1,015 students took part in the survey submitting various responses about aspects in their sexual life.

481 females took the survey, 503 males and 31 of other gender identities.

Junior Joey Smith who took the survey, was asked if he saw benefits in a student-run sexual survey and edition, and he said, “Students should be engaged in what we are being taught, because ever since I started receiving sexual education it has been by textbook and teachers, and a student ran press conducting a survey like this is great.”

All schools in VUSD use the same curriculum and provide the same information to students regarding sexual topics. The Cougar Press’s Sex Edition is what sets VHS apart.

Not only are readers being provided with data about VHS students, but they are able to see the relevance of the topics they are learning in the classroom to their own community. Neither Buena Speaks or The Foothill Dragon Press have a Sex and Dating edition for their papers, and it seems that a few students from each school are okay with this.

Noah Hilles, a junior at Foothill, said, “I don’t see sex education within other classes as any kind of issue or hinderance to a student, however, it isn’t enough of a necessity... to have it in the Foothill Dragon Press, as you can find other sources of sex ed. at Foothill.”

Autumn Rojelio, a junior at Buena, said, “If the student who is writing the paper in regards to sexual education is well educated on the topic, then I wouldn’t have problems with it, but I think for liability reason[s] and just to be safe overall, it would be better if the teaching of sexual education would be left to the pros.” continued on... thecougarpress.org

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Illustration by: Juliana Jacobson

Infographic by: Archer Herring

Dating

The Cougar Press Page 2

How social media affects teen relationships

Free advice: Lessons from Lola and Luoma

People have always scrutinized each other’s lives on social media, whether it’s the photos people post or who they decide to hang out with.

Jack Schatzman

The same scrutiny falls on relationships, from who people decide to date to what they decide to do and post about it on social media. Social media can have negative effects on young and impressionable minds.

Photo by: Jack Schatzman

Things like peer pressure and bullying, which are rampant in many online communities, can cause a lot of insecurity and stress for a recent couple.

“I don’t think you should put all of your relationship on social media, some parts should stay private,” said freshman Alina Reitz.

“Most middle through high school relationships end thanks to social media and how it affects a person’s behavior or how they act on it.”

“Even people in stable relationships are worried that their partner could be talking to other people behind their backs,” added Reitz.

65 percent of Ventura High School students have been or are in a relationship, and almost

30 percent of students cited social media platforms as playing a substantial role in maintaining and ending their relationship.

On the other hand, social media can definitely have positive

Things like peer pressure and bullying, which are rampant in many online communities, can cause a lot of insecurity and stress for a recent couple.

effects on relationships. Couples can keep in contact with each other to strengthen their relationship even when they’re apart. And posting pictures of dates they’ve gone on with their significant other relationship going-ons.

On holidays, like Valentine’s Day, people who are in relationships post about their significant other and how they feel about each other. “Social media has never affected any of my relationships, current or in the past,” said freshman Nidia Mercado. In some relationships, like Mercado’s, social media isn’t even a problem; it’s just a tool to communicate. continued on... thecougarpress.org

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Graph by: Sam Coats

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Graph by: Sam Coats Infographic by: Avenlea Russian

Editorial Staff

Editors-in-Chief Ryan King Avenlea Russian

Video Editor Summer Yovanno

Managing Editors Sarah Clench Bailey Peck

Acacia Harrell

Jezel Mercado

Photo Photo by: by: Sally Sally Niebergall Niebergall

“What do I do when I get treated like s*** by the person I care about most?”

-Anonymous

The degree of what’s happening matters a lot. If this is this a one time occurance, call them out on it. Learn that you don’t deserve the treatment you’re being given.

Communication is always key, so try to bring up how you are feeling in the kindest way possible and facilitate a conversation with this person.

If it’s a pattern of pain and hurt, slowly start removing this person from your life. Even though you probably want to see him/her a lot, try to distance yourself.

Break the cycle. Tigers don’t change their stripes, this person won’t change the fact that they are hurting you. It isn’t worth it to keep someone in your life that isn’t bringing you positivity and happiness, so don’t waste your time on negativity. We’ve both given people our love and come to realize later that they didn’t deserve it, and that we were wasting our time looking for love that wasn’t there. We have distanced ourselves both physically and emotionally from these people, and have moved on to bigger and better things!

Move on by finding other parts of yourself that make you happy, spending time with your other loved ones such as friends or your family, and focusing on your personal success (which can be a huge self esteem booster).

You got this!

Staff

Print EIC Sailor Hawes

Broadcast Editor Social Media Editor

Lola Bobrow Tatum Luoma

Assistant EIC Lola Bobrow

Podcast Editor Miles Bennett

Online EIC Micah Wilcox

Our Mission Statement The Cougar Press is a completely student-run public forum of the Ventura High School community.

We strive to present all sides of an issue fairly and without bias while being as resourceful to our readers as possible. From time to time, we make an error. When this happens, we try to correct it as soon as possible. Students and community members are encouraged to write for the The Cougar Press. We welcome all submissions, but may edit them for clarity and brevity. This public forum is only as good as the community support it receives. You can email us at thecougarpressvhs@gmail.com.

Marcus Burdick

Liliana Lara

Janelle Chavira

Tatum Luoma

Samuel Coats

Caroline Marsden

Gavin Cross

Nathan Marshall

Julia Davies

Billy Maxwell

Saida Delgadillo

Sally Niebergall

Archer Herring

Diego Roberto

Malik Hibbler

Doug Sandford

Samuel Hicks

Jack Schatzman

Garrett Jaffe

John Studebaker

Juliana Jacobson

Trinity Taylor

Jessica Johnson

Tanya Turchyn

Dating

Opinion: single__ taken X other__

Relationships in high school are always a strange topic to talk about.

Gavin Cross

Having a relationship in high school is a good life experience that could teach you lessons for the future.

Some people look down upon high school relationships, saying things like, “Oh, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why waste your young years by getting tied down so quick?”

Others would agree that having a relationship during your high school years is good to have at some point because, who knows, maybe you’ll find the right person during that time.

Life is unpredictable. Of the 1,015 students that answered The Cougar Press’s Sex and Dating Survey, 1,008 answered the question, “Have you ever been in a relationship?” Out of those, 833 students, or 82 percent, either answered “yes” or that they “have had ‘things’ and/or unofficial relationships only.”

According to this data, most students have been in a relationship at Ventura High School and could say they’ve had the experience. Whether you and your significant other have been going strong for years, or you prefer staying out of relationships,

it’s cool. But being in a relationship in high school could be a good opportunity to learn lessons to use later in life.

Just enjoy your time in high school and do what makes you feel right. But remember, no one wants to see tongues flying in the hallways, so keep it PG. Tim Schooler, a junior at VHS, was asked what his opinion on dating in high school was. Schooler responded, “Dating in high school can be a good thing. Interacting with someone and forming a good relationship can be very beneficial, especially when you need someone to talk to about what is going on

‘Things’: Objects or relationships?

The ‘thing’ stage is an easy way of describing a relationship without putting a label on it at the same time.

Summer Yovanno Urban Dictionary defines ‘a thing’ as “the stage in middle/high school where you aren’t quite dating yet, but you’ve both established that you like each other. It’s exclusive but not completely yet.”

The ‘thing’ stage is an easy way of describing a relationship without calling it a relationship. ‘Thing’ states that the relationship is unofficial, which also means ‘no hard feelings’ if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end.

This stage is very

commonly used throughout high school and I believe it’s for the better considering that teenagers have a tendency of changing their minds quickly along with losing interest.

According to The Cougar Press’ Sex and Dating survey, out of 1,011 responses, 166 students “have had ‘things’ and/or unofficial relationships only.”

Having ‘a thing’ with

Infographic by: Summer Yovanno

The Cougar Press Page 3 in your life.” When asked his thoughts on keeping relationships going past high school, he said, “[I think] relationships going out of high school are a great idea as long as you and your partner are on the same page and are happy with each other.”

Dating in high school is a good experience to have. High school is a pretty stressful time for the most part, and it’s always nice to have someone that’s there for you when no one else is.

Going through a relationship is good preparation for the future.

Infographic By: Gavin Cross

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Have you ever been in a relationship? somebody is almost just an icebreaker phase, where there is no stress of meeting parents, buying expensive gifts or letting each other know what they’re doing every second. Although they like one another, they are not completely in love with one another… yet.

Senior Serena Ropersmith said, “I think it’s a good thing to have a thing before a relationship because it allows you to get to know the person better before you fully commit to them. Also, it’s important to know if you really like someone before you get into a relationship so you don’t lead them on or change your mind.”

‘Things’ can be sexual

or non-sexual, such as a kiss, hug, holding hands or dates.

It’s almost the same as a fling, but ‘things’ are typically more long-term. But both ‘things’ and flings stress on the fact that there is no commitment, meaning nothing is completely serious.

Sophomore Kylie Pence shared her opinion on ‘things’ compared to relationships: “I think if things are done right, then it’s a super cool way to get through that awkward phase of ‘are we dating or not?’ but I have also seen a lot of people use this as an opportunity to not talk about the circumstances of their relationship so that could end up bad.”

The pursuit of happiness comes when you are not tied down in high school Billy Maxwell

From a guy’s perspective...

Being single in high school has many perks. One of these perks is the excess time. It allows said person to do whatever they want. There is so much time you can have to yourself for many things, one of which is finding yourself. When you have more time to focus on yourself, it is a lot easier to become your best possible self.

In part of having time to yourself, you can learn from all of your friends relationships so you truly know what to do when the right person appears. When single, you can also talk to whoever you want, whenever you want and not get in trouble. You can be crushing on anyone and not have to feel guilty about it.

For everyone reading this who has never been in a relationship, there is no need to feel alone. Many people stay single all four years in high school and still find love. Of the 1,011 students that answered the TCP question on having been in a relationship, 176 students answered that they have never been in any relationship and an additional 165 students have only had “things.” If you have not had a serious relationship there is no need to worry, you are just like the other 340 students who prefer their time to themselves. Lastly, not being taken in high school makes it easier for your post high school options. You do not have to take into account your partner’s opportunities or miss out on any of yours in order to maintain a healthy relationship. You can do whatever you want to be your best you!

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Saida Delgadillo

From a girl’s perspective...

Infographic by: Avenlea Russian

Infographic by: Avenlea Russian

Highschool… an environment where immature and young teens see being in a relationship as the most important thing to obtain and where getting your heart broken is the “end of the world.” Don’t get me wrong, having all that excitement where you get ecstatic about going to school everyday because your significant other is there is nice and all, but that’s just not the most important thing while experiencing your years full of wrong choices and learning from them. When The Cougar Press asked students at Ventura High School how long they have been in a relationship, out of the 833 responses received, 316 students said they have been in a relationship for

less than three months. With the information provided, it is evident that most relationships in high school are short and hardly work. According to TCP data, only 193 students have been in a relationship longer than a year. Knowing that, it is clear that being in a serious and long relationship is not easy.

There are always alternatives to not dating, and I think people in high school should realize that a relationship is NOT everything and labels are unnecessary. When you are single you have the ability to go out and not have to worry about anything or anyone. When you live an independent lifestyle, you learn how to gain personal growth and how to love yourself rather than another person which is beautiful. With that being said, being single is definitely the move!

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Graph by: Lola Bobrow

Graph by: Lola Bobrow

Sexual Education

The Cougar Press Page 4

Opinion: Wrap your willy before you get silly Let’s be honest, getting pregnant in high school isn’t a goal for most teens.

Julia Davies

There are many effective ways to prevent pregnancy and it’s important for students, who don’t want to be parents, to receive proper sexual education.

Most health teachers will tell you “abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDs.” That is true, but about half (49.9 percent) of the students that took the school wide Sex and Dating survey have participated in some sort of sexual activity, so an alternative for being abstinence is important for that half of students that aren’t practicing abstinence. For the students apart of the 49.9 percent engaging in sexual activity or interested in being sexually active, there are many contraceptive options.

First off, the classic and the most popularly used at VHS, condoms. Over half (51.1 percent) of our students who have participated in sexual activity use condoms. Condoms are likely sold at your local grocery store and or a nearby gas station.

Students can get free condoms at Planned Parenthood. By using the condom correctly, it’s 98 percent effective of preventing pregnancy according to Planned Parenthood, but it is important to read the directions because incorrect use can sufficiently lower the effectiveness of the condom.

Next off is birth control.

There are many safe and effective ways to prevent pregnancy and have safe sex.

Birth control has the most variety in the ways it is used. The first is an oral medication that is taken once a day, and, if used correctly, (that means taken every day, around the same time) it is 99.9 percent effective according to Planned Parenthood. The birth control pill can be received from a doctor or Planned Parenthood as well. The next birth control is the implant.

It’s a small rod that is inserted into the women’s upper arm.

This is also 99 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and protects one from pregnancy for

up to four to five years. Another form of birth control is called an intrauterine device (IUD), which is an implant inserted into the woman’s vagina, through the cervix and into the uterus.

It is also 99 percent effective if inserted correctly. Depending on what type of IUD it is, they can last anywhere from three to 10 years, all according to Planned Parenthood.

Finally, the last contraceptive is Plan B or also known as “the morning after pill,” taken after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy. If taken within 24 hours of unprotected sex, the pill is 95 percent effective, but if taken from 24 to 72 hours after unprotected sex, the effectiveness drops to 89 percent, as claimed by Planned Parenthood.

There are many safe

and effective ways to prevent pregnancy and have safe sex.

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Graph by: Summer Yovanno

Where can students go to for sex and dating advice?

High school for some can be a place for expressing who they really are and who they love.

Saida Delgadillo

High school for some can be a place where expressing who they really are and who they love, though it is filtered due to the fear of judgement. Students in high school are known to cast a shadow over the topic of sex and dating. With that, we asked students where they can gain their sex and dating advice/help.

When asked about where sophomore Devin Larson gets most of his sex and dating advice, he said, “I go to my friends and family for help and I can never find it at VHS.” Like Larson, senior Bennett Cvijanovich also

felt as if Ventura High School has little to no advice for subjects such as these. Cvijanovich stated, “Sometimes I’ll go to my friends but if anything, I’ll talk to other girls about it.”

Although, many students like Larson and Cvijanovich feel lost with where to go for help. It is paramount to note that most of student’s questions about this topic can be found here on campus. The room students can most definitely run to for a start on this topic would be in room 40 with Bobbie Richards. In room 40 you can also find a yellow pamphlet which is labeled as the ‘Ventura Unified School District

Infographic by: Saida Delgadillo

Education Service Center.’

In this pamphlet loaded with information there is a section which is titled ‘counseling’ and under this, it includes various numbers for students and/or parents to call for this type of subject.

As well as in room 40, there are also local health centers for students under 18 and it is very important that students know where to find these health centers. There are a few local health centers in Ventura, including the one on Ralston St., which is the Planned Parenthood.

They also have a website where students can learn about things such as pregnancy and sex and relationships.

It is evident that students feel lost when it comes to dating and sex advice. According to The Cougar Press Sex and Dating Survey, 140 students stated that they have not received sufficient sexual education which is something Ventura High School students, parents and most importantly faculty should pay a little more attention to. continued on... thecougarpress.org

When asked what age he realized he needed to have “the talk” with his two kids, Edward Pacula said, “Never, I left it up to my wife. I figured they would get that in school, like I did. [I] had sex education in seventh grade. For me, it was enough.” Photo by: Lola Bobrow

Who do students at VHS turn to for advice on their sex lives?

The “birds and the bees talk” has become a thing of the past.

Lola Bobrow Gavin Cross

In a world where there’s seemingly endless information at the complete ease of a Google search, one might wonder whether the quintessential awkward “birds and the bees talk” between parent and child has slowly become a thing of the past, deemed outdated and arcane by the students here at Ventura High School.

In the VHS Cougar Press’ s 2019 Sex and Dating Survey, 305 out of 1003 students surveyed responded that they believed they had received sufficient sexual education from their family or friends, while 173 students responded yes, but from online.

Out of 480 females who took the survey, 163 said that they felt that they have received sufficient sexual education, while 75 of 520 boys said that they felt they had received sufficient sexual education. Looking at sexual orientation statistics is also very eyeopening when looking at how many LGBTQ+ feel they have received sufficient sexual education. Out of all the heterosexual kids at VHS who answered the survey, 81.6 percent answered that yes, they feel they have received sufficient sexual education compared with 76.8 percent of LGBTQ+ identified students.

An anonymous counselor said that she gets kids “all the time” and refers them to clinics.

VHS sophomore Joe Lowry who is a practicing Mormon said, “No, [I don’t talk to my parents about sex]. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it. It would be awkward. I talk to my friends.”

Senior Noah Conboy, who describes himself as Catholic, said, “I was probably 12 or 13 when at family dinner at my grandmother’s house, my mom started telling me how the vagina works. I was quite uncomfortable… I never

really talked to my dad. I think he just assumed I knew how that stuff works.” He added, “Pretty much everything I learned was from school, so I think talking with your parents is very necessary.”

Junior Megan Findlay said that she “regularly” has conversations with her mom about sex and she appreciates that her mom is “there for her if anything were to happen.”

She told The Cougar Press that while she was camping, she hid from her parents after being “scarred” by the knowledge of where babies came from. “[Since then], I’ve matured and I’ve realized that sex isn’t that big of a deal and if you’re open to doing it, you should be open to talking about it. My parents are very keen on being safe and talking about HIV and STDs, but it’s not a problem so we don’t have to worry about it.”

We talked to a senior boy who would like to remain anonymous, asking him questions on the topic of the infamous “birds and bees” talk most people end up awkwardly having with their parents. He was asked if he has ever talked to his parents or been approached by his parents to talk about sex, he responded, “I have talked to my parents about sex. My mother had found my condoms once and asked if I have had sex before. I told her yes and she kind of spiritually gave them back to me and said she was glad I was being safe. They have also caught me with porn before, but I mean most teenagers do that right?”

We also asked him what age he was when he first talked to them, where and if he was comfortable during the conversation, “When we first talked I think I had just turned 13, and the conversation took place in my bedroom. I felt super awkward because she had found one of the wrappers and that’s how my mom found out I had used one.” continued on... thecougarpress.org

Do you have an adult or close friend to go if you ever find yourself in an abusive/unhealthy/ uncomfortable relationship? *

Graph by: Avenlea Russian

Sexual Education

The Cougar Press Page 5

There is a 25 percent chance your partner got an STD this year

But there is a 96.8 percent chance (if your partner is at VHS), they’ll tell you they didn’t.

Jezel Mercado

This article, “There is a 25 percent chance your partner got an STD this year” was published on March 1, 2019 in this edition of the Cougar Press, 71-06. The Cougar Press formally retracts this article due to factual inconsistencies regarding data cited from the Center for Disease Control. The Cougar Press apologizes for this error. Readers with questions can contact the Cougar Press at thecougarpressvhs@gmail.com.

Rape and harassment laws: Do you know them?

According to the Sex and Dating survey conducted by The Cougar Press, 8 percent of students at Ventura High School who have been in a relationship have been physically abused at least once.

Sarah Clench

Out of the 1,015 students that have participated in sexual activity, 9.6 percent reported that they have been a part of sexual activity that they didn’t consent to, all two percent said that they have been a part of sexual activity that their partner didn’t consent to.

This means that 19.6 percent of VHS students have either been physically abused by their partner or involved in non-consensual sexual activity.

This might lead one to wonder what the laws regarding sexual harassment, abuse and rape are in the state of California.

According to Section 264 of the California Penal Code, “Except as provided in subdivision (c), rape, as defined in Section 261 or 262, as nonconsenual and forcesd sexual intercourse, is punishable by imprisonment in the state prison for three, six, or eight years.” Additionally, “any person who commits rape in violation of paragraph (2) of subdivision (a) of Section 261 upon a child of 14 years of age or older shall

19.6 percent of VHS students have either been physically abused by their partner or involved in non-consensual sexual activity. be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for seven, nine, or 11 years,” and if the child is under the age of 14, the person “shall be punished by imprisonment in state prison for nine, 11, or 13 years.”

According to the California Courts, domestic violence laws say that abuse is “physically hurting or trying to hurt someone intentionally or recklessly.” Sexual assault is defined as, “making someone reasonably afraid that he or she or someone else is about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone)” or “behavior like harassing, stalking, threatening, hitting

someone, disturbing someone’s peace, or destroying someone’s personal property.”

This means that abuse isn’t just physical, it is verbal as well. 172 out of 992 VHS students reported that they have been physically abused at least once in a relationship -that’s 17.3 percent. Teen Dating Violence explains that the abuser can be guilty of “criminal threats.”

Anyone over the age of 12 can request a restraining order without the consent of their parents, California Courts explains. In addition, Teen Dating Violence stated, “A teenager served with a restraining order may be prohibited from going to certain locations or required to complete certain intervention programs.”

According to the Health and Safety Code, anyone who is a victim of rape or sexual assault gets an examination at no charge to the victim. Additionally, “a county hospital shall, without charge, provide the victim of rape, or other sexual assault, with testing for venereal disease and pregnancy.”

Infographic by: Sarah Clench

Infographic by: Sarah Clench

The Cougar Press Page 6

Sexual Harassment

Dress code, double standards, and slut shaming: Are they related?

Infographic by: Summer Yovanno

According to the SAGE Encyclopedia of Psychology and Gender, the definition of slut-shaming given is “the practice of criticizing people, especially women and girls, who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues to sexuality.”

Sam Hicks Tatum Luoma

Consent: A mental act or verbal?

By definition, consent is the permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.

Summer Yovanno

Permission can be tricky because of the undefined rules of physical and verbal cues given between both partners. When participating in sexual activity, by law, both partners must consent, but what defines consent? How is permission legally given?

“Without consent, sexual activity (including oral sex, genital touching, and vaginal or anal penetration) is sexual assault or rape,” according to Planned Parenthood.

Susan E. Hickman and Charlene L. Muehlenhard, authors of the article “‘By the Semi-Mystical Appearance of a Condom’: How Young Women and Men Communicate Sexual Consent in Heterosexual Situations,” believe that certain physical and verbal acts should be considered with consent in sexual activity. Hickman and Muehlenhard said, “One such issue is whether consent should be defined as a mental act… that is, the verbal or the nonverbal expression of agreement.” They continued, “If consent is defined as a mental act, then one person can never truly know if another

has consented. This allows for the possibility of misunderstandings, or claims of misunderstandings, that can lead to sexual assault.”

Senior Brody Lynch shared, “[Consent] varies when two individuals proceed to engage in sexual contact because everyone communicates differently. For example, when “the mood” is apparent between the two and contact begins, they can proceed in sex without verbal consent rather they use physical consent. In other situations they communicate consent with verbal consent before little to no contact begins… sexual intervention varies from couple to couple: physical or verbal consent.

Whatever the case may be, have fun!”

In situations where one partner is above the age of 18 while the other partner is a minor, the law indicates the minor cannot give consent to their adult partner themselves, they need a parent or guardian’s permission. A parental consent form can give permission to the parent or guardian’s child to legally engage in certain activities. continued on... thecougarpress.org

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Graph by: Jessica Johnson

Unfortunately, this seems to be experienced quite often at Ventura High School. A freshman female commented on this subject, but she wishes to remain anonymous because she does not want to be associated with feeling slut shamed, so we respected this in her interview: “People have given me weird looks as I walk down the hallway because of certain clothes that I am wearing, like a tank top that shows a lot of skin. It makes me uncomfortable.”

Slut-shaming can stem from many situations, whether it is simply bullying, calling attention to a double standard, or commenting on how someone is dressed. One cause of slut-shaming in high school is based on how one dresses. This problem can be combated with VHS’s dress code. VHS prohibits offthe-shoulder, low-cut tops, or shirts that display one’s midriff. In addition, shorts must not be if they are shorter than mid-thigh length. But, many if not most students do not follow this dress code on a daily basis.

Looking around on campus, plenty of students wear “short-shorts” and shirts that show their stomachs, clearly violating the school’s dress code policy.

“Freshman year, one of my teachers told me that I have a problem with not wearing enough clothing,” commented a junior female who also wishes that her name remain anonymous. Is breaking the dress code a catalyst for slut-shaming? “I’ve definitely broken the dress code before,” she added.

In addition to slut-shaming, which creates victims that are of the female majority, there are also

many double standards in regards to gender. Even our school dress code, which should help reduce slutshaming by facilitating appropriate clothing has double standards. The majority of the rules stated in the dress code refer to female students clothing, with no specific references to any clothing that is male oriented.

Is this because male fashion violates the dress code less often, or is the dress code not biased at all? The female students that we interviewed described the VHS dress code as “unfair” and “messed up.”

Graph by: Julia Davies

Archer Herring Tanya Turchyn

The reduction of cognitive logic leads to a higher possibility of unwanted pregnancy, STD and STI transmission, as well as nonconsensual sexual relations and rape, according to CRC Health.

One of the questions, on the annual Cougar Press sex and dating survey asked, “Have you ever participated in a sexual activity while under the influence?” Out of the 1,004 responses 212 (21.1 percent) students said they have engaged in sexual activity while under the influence, but 300 responses (29.9 percent) from students say they have not. The other 492 students (49 percent) are not sexually active.

Does our school have double standards? The VHS dress code seems to be directed primarily at females. Infographic by: Tatum Luoma

As well as in the dress code, there are other situations with double standards at our school. At a regular sports practice at VHS, most team’s allow their male athletes to remove their shirt when it is particularly hot out, but female athletes are not granted this same privilege.

When a girl is sexually active with several people, she is often called a “whore” or a “slut,” but when a boy is sexually active with several people, he is dubbed a “player” or a “legend.” Do you think that slut shaming and our school’s dress code is based around a double standard?

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Graph by: Archer Herring

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Love on drugs: The dangers of teen sex and intoxication When mixed with sexual relations, drugs -- even common ones like alcohol and marijuana -- can lead to bad decisions and a lack of judgment that may change a person’s future.

Graph by: Julia Davies

Infographic by: Archer Herring

With the data presented, another question arises -- how does students’ use of drugs and alcohol affect their sex lives and relationships? Drugs affect people’s cognitive ability to decipher the logic of their decisions, according to the US National Library of Medicine, drugs create “impairments in decision-making, characterized by a tendency to choose the immediate reward at the expense of severe negative future consequences.”

Seniors Tyler Sehon and Drew Worthy commented on the subject. Sehon said, “It’s unsafe [to be intoxicated during sexual activity] because people can be unconscious and not know what’s going on. It’s not the best idea.”

Worthy continued on the subject by saying, “When intoxicated, people often regret their actions.”

This topic gains more prevalence to Ventura High School personally, considering that 41 percent of the sexually active students at VHS revealed that they have participated in sexual activity while using drugs. When interviewed, an anonymous VHS student revealed that they have participated in sexual activity while on a drug, also commenting that they suspect many teenagers have done the same for validation from others and to be less self conscious.

Another anonymous student who revealed they have done the same, commented that they think it’s a common behavior among teens because it makes sexual relations more interesting and less pressured. continued on... thecougarpress.org

LGBTQ+

Stuck in the wrong body but staying strong Miles Bennett continued from... page 1

“I feel like if I ever try and correct someone [about my pronouns], either they’re [going to] be like ‘cool, alright’ and then like do it or [say] ‘what do you mean?’” stated Bolle. “And then it’s [going to] get into this whole, weird a** debate and I’m gonna be like ‘Hey maybe we should treat transgender people like humans’ and they’ll be like ‘Are you sure?’”

Tallent tries not to “out” himself to other people most of the time in order to avoid conflict.

“I’m not gonna be like, to every person that is in my class, ‘Oh, actually, those aren’t my pronouns,’” said Tallent.

“If it comes up in class, you know, there’s a situation where someone’s like, talking about transgender people, I’ll be like ‘Yeah, that’s me.’”

Granted, the three of them do feel physically safe at school (except for Chrimes “who actively avoid[s] people who [he] know[s] would threaten [his] life”), but Chrimes, Tallent and Bolle do feel like most staff members don’t understand what it means to be trans, or even make an effort to understand.

“Like people are very calm about it, or at least the people I’ve talked to,” stated Chrimes.

“They’re just kind [of] like ‘alright,’ but you can tell they don’t really get it.”

Chrimes added that “[he] feel[s] like there’s possibility of confrontation on campus from like certain staff members” refusing to name any names, for fear of said confrontation.

The three did have some suggestions for VUSD staff on how to not make them feel “depressed and worthless and like garbage.”

“Don’t deny the complete existence of us,” said Bolle. “Uh, actually maybe give us some places to pee, that would be super cool.”

Bolle is referring to the fact that every room that is labeled as an “All-Gender Bathroom” (besides the one in the Nurse’s Office) is a locked restroom that is reserved for teachers or not even a restroom at all.

However, outside of a school setting, Chrimes, Tallent and Bolle have a “fear of confrontation almost all the time.”

Even though Bolle has been prescribed weekly injections of testosterone, he can’t even use a public restroom without feeling scared or nervous.

Students face stigmas for their significant others

According to The Cougar Press’s school wide student survey, 3.7 percent of students identify as gay, 9.8 percent of students identify as bisexual and 4.5 percent of students identify with other/questioning.

Do I conform?

Illustration by: Juliana Jacobson

Acacia Harrell

“We’re in a much more progressive society than we were a few decades ago, but there’s still a stigma and a large amount of oppression against queer couples,” stated senior Ren Tallent. He went on to say that though we as a society have become more progressive over the years, there is still stigmas and oppression against queer couples. Tallent also believes homophobia has become more prevalent since the Trump Administration took office.

Tallent gave a personal experience: “I’m very comfortable in my identity in public, but one time I was out with my boyfriend and I was holding his hand and kissing his cheek and he expressed to me that he didn’t want to in public because he was afraid of what people would say or do to us.

That shocked me.”

When it comes to future hope regarding LGBTQ+ relationships and how they are perceived and treated, Tallent

wants acceptance: “I hope that people just see it as a normal preference and that people stop assuming that every single person is straight. I want us to stop being killed all over the world for loving differently than the norm.”

Junior Isabelle Williams remembers receiving slander after kissing her girlfriend in public, “These guys drove by and yelled ‘F**k you!’ at us and then at the end of the street, they turned around to come back by us and flip us off out the windows,” stated Williams.

Williams went on to say, “I don’t want people coming up to me and saying ‘congrats’ for being openly gay, just some more relaxation towards it.”

Senior Brooke Stevenson gave her opinion on how LGBTQ+ relationships are portrayed, or lack thereof, in the media. “Heteronormative movies and media as a whole, that’s probably where I feel most underrepresented.”

“Either, I go into the women’s bathroom and get accused of being a creep which is not good, because I don’t want people to feel unsafe,” stated Bolle. “[Or I] go into the men’s bathroom, get assaulted or, you know, beat up or whatever. Or, this is rare, use a bathroom, pee, and leave and everything [goes] fine.”

Tallent stated that sometimes he doesn’t even feel safe at LGBTQ Pride Functions: “At things like pride functions, where I’m loud about [my transgender pride]. Sometimes, in the back of my head, I’ll be like, ‘someone could totally come and shoot us all and then we’re just dead.’”

Neither Chrimes, Tallent nor Bolle have ever been physically assaulted due to them being transgender. But since 50 percent transgender individuals are sexaully assaulted in their lifetime and 78 percent of trans students report “significant abuse at school,” according to the Office for Victims of Crime, they might be justified in their fears.

According to the three, the worst part of being transgender is the Gender Dysphoria that comes with it. Bolle stated that it dysphoria is very “exhausting” and that it was hard to describe. Tallent and Chrimes agreed but were able

The Cougar Press Page 7

Infographic by: Miles Bennett

to create a more detailed picture of how painful dysphoria really is.

Tallent described dysphoria by saying, “I feel a kind of disconnect with my body. [My body] doesn’t feel or look like me which is super hard to deal with [because] there this certain way you wanna look which is literally impossible for me.”

Chrimes went into even more detail: “My breasts feel like cancerous tumors and my voice feels like the result of some horrible accident. I don’t feel like I grew up with these things, and

I feel like the ‘feminine’ things about me are all viruses and disfigurements. [It’s as if] your body is betraying you as you get older, but not by getting old or getting tired, just by maturing into something that you hate being. I felt depersonalized/ dissociated for a good 3 years in middle school just because puberty was doing something to me that I didn’t identify with at all. A huge gap split between my mind/spirituality and my physical body. I just see my body as a rental vehicle. It’s not mine.”

Human sexuality: The whole spectrum found at VHS There’s more to the sexual spectrum than just straight and gay, or cisgender and transgender.

Sam Coats

82 percent of Ventura High School students identify as straight, while 10 percent identify as bisexual, and 4 percent each as gay/lesbian and questioning or other. Most VHS students know what it means to be homosexual or heterosexual -- to be sexually attracted to people of the same gender or the opposite gender --or that transgender people identify as the opposite of the sex they were born as. However, these represent only a small slice of existing sexual and gender identities.

According to UCSB’s SexInfoOnline website, sexual orientation can be divided into monosexuality and plurisexuality --attraction to the same gender, or multiple genders-- as well as asexuality, which means the absence of sexual attraction or desire. There are only two “monosexual” sexual orientations: homosexual and heterosexual. However, there are many “plurisexual” identities.

Plurisexuality includes many sexual orientations.

Bisexuality, which is being attracted to people of both binary genders (not necessarily in equal numbers!) is a plurisexual identity, as is pansexuality (experiencing attraction regardless of gender identity). Queerness, which is a catch-all term for non-cisgender/ heterosexual identity, can be a plurisexual or monosexual identity.

All of these identities are part of the “sexual spectrum,” the range of human sexual attraction

from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality.

One representation of this is the Kinsey scale, named for Dr. Alfred Kinsey, who created it in 1948. A “0” on the scale signifies exclusive heterosexuality, while a “6” signifies exclusive homosexuality.

“I hate to be the person to say ‘hey, everybody’s a little gay,’ but if you think about it it’s true,” said senior Ren Tallent of the spectrum.

“Of course, some people can be at the very end of the spectrum and be completely straight, or be at the very other extreme… and be totally gay, but everyone’s somewhere on that spectrum.”

Gender identity is also not as binary as “cisgender” (a term for people who identify as the gender they were born as) or “transgender.” Many individuals identify as genderqueer/ genderfluid, meaning that they don’t conform to the norms of the gender binary , especially through forms of self-expression like clothing. Others consider themself bigender, intergender, or pangender, expressing or moving between multiple gender identities. There are also people who are born with anatomical attributes of both genders, who are known as “intersex.”

Infographic by: Sam Coats

The Cougar Press Page 8

Opinion: Romantic movies are all garbage, and I hate them with a passion As a cynical hipster who thinks their opinion is better than yours, I can safely say that 90 percent of romantic movies make me want to vomit my guts out.

Miles Bennett

Inforgraphic by: Sailor Hawes and Bailey Peck

Any movie that claims to be a “feel good Rom-com” or a “Dramatic love story” is normally some of the most poorly written and directed shlock to grace the planet Earth.

Take “The Fault in our Stars,” for example. The two main characters, Hazel and Gus, are more poorly written than my 3rd grade poetry. Hazel is just the “I’m not like other girls” meme as a person, Gus is a generic straight guy, and the two have less chemistry than me and doing my homework on time. But as soon as they kiss and die, everyone on the planet (including 12-year-old me) exploded into acidic tears that scalded anyone in a 20 foot radius.

What might be worse than a bad romantic movie, is a movie that doesn’t need romance but has it anyway. I don’t care how many awards it won, “Titanic” is mediocre at best. A movie about the Titanic sinking has so much potential!

But James Cameron just had to make it about two cardboard cutouts that have awkward car sex and then drown. I’m pretty sure that script was posted on DeviantArt by a 12-year-old and the executives at Paramount got super wasted and were like, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

And don’t even get me started on “The Notebook.” I got more sleep watching that than I normally do during a school week.

And it’s not just movies about straight people that

suck. Although there are plenty of astounding gay romance movies, most romantic films about gay women are just overly depressing or porn that’s trying to hide that it’s porn (ask any queer person in the know and they’ll tell you that). And a lot of films about gay men are just so stereotypical that it gives me adolescent chest pain.

In conclusion, romance in film isn’t a bad thing inherently. Movies like the “The Shape of Water” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” are perfect examples of romance in film being executed perfectly.

But sadly, most people who make movies are bad at making movies and most romantic films make me want to blow my brains out.

Letter from the Editors Ryan King Avenlea Russian

information that can help them learn about these topics and make healthy and educated life decisions.

This survey may take on a negative reputation as just “the sex survey.” We really appreciate the VHS community, as we’ve worked hard to preserve its reputation as an informative, health-focused study.

The purpose of this survey is not to offend any student or teacher, or to make anyone uncomfortable. This is why we do a completely anonymous survey to ensure that no one, including members of The Cougar Press, are able to access student’s answers.

We hope that the VHS population and community can learn from the results of the annual Sex and Dating Survey and find the information we’ve provided beneficial.

On behalf of The Cougar Press, we would like to thank every student that participated in the annual Sex and Dating Survey, as well as the teachers and administration that made this survey possible.

The Cougar Press received over 1,000 student responses. This survey is something The Cougar Press does every year in order to educate the Ventura High School community about sex and dating. By asking questions about sex and dating and receiving feedback from VHS students, The Cougar Press is able to discuss these topics in a way that provides students with help and information.

As a disclaimer, we would like to address there may be “joke” responses, but the data we received was consistent in statistics throughout.

With this edition, Thank you, we hope to draw conclusions Editors-In-Chief and provide students with Avenlea Russian and Ryan King

Inforgraphic by: Avenlea Russian

2019 Cougar Press Sex and Dating Survey Demographic Data * *

Graph by: Liliana Lara

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Graph by: Avenlea Russian

Graph by: Liliana Lara