Vol. 3, Issue 7
The Black Sheep The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
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10/3/13 - 10/9/13
Wine Wednesday The Solution to Your Dating Woes BY: UTK Staff Getting to know someone in your econ class with Ken Baker before asking them out on an actual date seems to be a thing of the past. Nowadays, the most action people go after is a few sexts via swapping digits on Tinder, a late night of stalking summer vacation pictures on Facebook, then ending the night with a hasty rubout before falling asleep. But we say no, college students need to get up close and personal again when dating. Finding someone at Whiskey Dix to hook up with is basically the same as anything you’ll find on Tinder — you see someone attractive, shout your interests at each other to see if you have anything in common, then have sex if you do, or move on if you don’t. Simple! Obviously alcohol has been proven to help ease some of the tension of approaching someone sexay, so it would help if it’s a part of the event. Therefore, Wine Wednesday is the answer to all your dating woes. Whether it be Cru or Sunspot, or Doc’s or Lat 35, Wine Wednesday is the perfect atmosphere for all parties involved. The women use it as an excuse to go drink with the girls, and the guys can rest assured that they’ll find plenty of classy-drunk ladies. Typically, the amount of booze intake is just enough to allow the conversations to flow as free and easy as the wine does down the throats of single, jaded 22 year old women who haven’t let themselves go (yet). Ladies, dress up like you do in those sundresses and wedges and laugh the night away with your sistas, playing it cool and confident with a tipsy flair that shows your classy yet carefree spirit. When you’re sitting up on the balcony porch lounges of Sunspot, scope the scene and flirt a little with any possible suitors without showing your Britney to them. Remember, it’s easy to get carried away when drinking Cupcake wine but try to not get white girl wasted on a Wednesday night in front of everyone. The majority of the population strikes out on weekends getting sloppy on the Strip, so take Wine Wednesday to keep it classy and see how you do.
Fellas, this is your opportunity to shine. All these women congregate at Wine Wednesday spots and walk around with a polymer wine glass in one hand and a bottle in the other. These bitches have been gossiping about each other’s relationships for the last hour, and will be desperate to have a little gossip of their own to talk about. Not to mention wine drunk makes one feel a little more “romantic” than chugging four Keystones out of a rinsed-out Solo cup. At Wine Wednesday, you fellas need to play it cool — act like you just stepped out of J. Crew magazine and spend most the night handsomely looking off into the distance while sipping on an
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aged cab. “Oh, I didn’t see you there, large group of drunk girls, I was busy thinking about my puppy and how much I love taking it for rides on my boat back home.” So if you’re feeling like there’s no one you can bring home to mom at UT, try checking out the prospects that are vulnerable and willing to try to have a respectable relationship. Telling your mom you met this handsome man or beautiful southern belle at Wine Night is a lot better than telling her they were the last person you laid eyes on before stumbling out of Cookout at 2 a.m.
Get to know who’s who is this beautiful town you call home.
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Bartender of the week Jason of Cool Beans doesn’t think cut off mom jean shorts are hot, bro.