The Black Sheep
yo FREE ur ... ex Lik cu e u se sin fo g r s Hu ta rr yin ica g n in e S be an d a dy ll as wee k!
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 10 11/1/12 -11/7/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepusc
obama lights up usc USC Staff wrote this
In a recent effort to bolster his appeal with young voters around the southeast, President Obama came to the University of South Carolina late Tuesday night. The president kept his visit brief and confined to an undisclosed fraternity house for what has been reported as an “Epically glorious bong ripping sesh with the prez.” The bong ripping visit was prompted by Obama’s recently low poll numbers in North and South Carolina where youth voting has been a critical problem for the campaign. Campaign analysts have suggested that the visit included the “Epic bong sesh” as a tribute to the American Olympic hero, Michael Phelps, who was spotted smoking weed at the university back in 2009, shortly after his success at the Beijing Olympic games. The campaign told The Black Sheep reporters that the president was hoping to ride the success of Phelps who ended up still earning a plethora of gold medals in the London games, despite being a known stoner. President Obama has admitted to smoking pot on several occasions, including in his book. Pot-smoking presidents are nothing new to the American public: since Clinton, every president has admitted to smoking pot. Most students around campus were surprised by the marijuana-huffing visit, and when asked, several students admitted to looking favorably, while many others, unsurprisingly saw the president’s pandering as un-presidential. One especially shaggy hippie told reporters that, “It was rad to see the leader of the free world just, like, chillin’, and relaxin’ for a change instead of fighting wars and doin’ stuff to poor people and whatever. Obama’s chill-to-president ratio just went through the roof for me. He definitely got my vote after he offered to pack the second bowl AND offered me greens.” The attention surrounding the controversial visit has giving the election a newer, chiller, energy around campus. Voter registration has been on the rise since Obama lit it up here and so far, his “Phelps Strategy” has worked. Not only has it helped the president garner more attention, it has also helped the Romney campaign rally its supporters in protest of the president’s action. A Romney supporter went on record stating, “The brand new generation of voters need to realize something important. Drugs
from the streets
are bad. M’kay? The belief that Obama has suddenly acquired a chill ‘swag’ after inhaling marijuana smoke is preposterous. Drugs are bad. MMM’KAY?! Being a turn-around artist for the American economy is a better measurement of one’s ‘swag.’ Mitt Romney has many ideas in order to do just that and they in no way, shape, or form involve smoking reefer. And Mr. Romney thinks that drugs are bad, which they are, especially…Marijuana...” Obama’s campaign managers retorted to such ludicrous statements by releasing one of their own. “Sounds like somebody
what’s inside A Haunting in Olympia
What’s your favorite horror movie to watch this time of the year?
If you live in Olympia or Granby Mills, chances are you’re being watched by baby ghosts.
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needs to smoke a little weed and chill man” Also, when we spoke with a campaign official, they went on The Black Sheep record saying, “Like, people are always bitching about the economy and whatever, why can’t everyone just, like, roll a fat doobie, put on How High and just relax. Who wants a job anyways when there’s ganja to smoke? I just don’t understand.” Obama’s visit to USC’s campus has made the campus more polarized than ever, and many expect a close race on November 6th.
Sorority Girl Dressed As Cop Assumes the Position
Hopefully this leads to several more slutty vigilantes!
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