The Black Sheep FR
EE
... lik fr e h om on th ey e c dij af on et er mus ia. ta
rd
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 3 9/20/12 -9/26/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_om
College procrastination reaches new heights
the black sheep staff wrote this
With the first exams in many classes already approaching, many students are doing this thing where they spend a lot of time on non-important stuff to try to avoid doing what they actually need to be doing. You know, that whole beatingaround-the-bush thing before getting to the meat of an assignment. It’s like, “Dude, what's the point of this thing?””I dunno, dude. Have you seen this Gangnam Style video?” Anyway… According to Wikipedia, a whole lot of college students utilize some form of procrastination. Whether it be playing a quick round of Call of Duty, catching up on a little sleep, surfing the Internet, cleaning the apartment, fixing an extravagant meal, or crafting a needlessly long list, there are many things to which today’s students are turning in an effort to put off real work for just a little longer. Many believe that writing assignments in particular cause extraordinary procrastinatory measures among students, including the creation of new adjectives. As a result of the rampant procrastination, Ole Miss professors are noticing a growing trend of assignments bearing the telltale signs of being last-minute efforts. Reports of printers dying and computers crashing, sloppy oral presentations filled with lots of, uh, verbal fillers, pour grammar in writing assignments, and incomplete thoughts are leaving instructors shaking their However, it is not just students who are having trouble with putting things off until the last minute. There have been numerous reports of professors not returning graded works until weeks and weeks after the fact, prompting many complaints to Ole Miss administration (the university is expected to respond to these complaints sometime in the near future). Other students have noted absurdly long wait times for food from on-campus dining facilities. One Chickfil-A cook was seen to be staring vacantly into the deep fryer while the line in front of the counter continued to grow. One common refrain among students is the lack of effort put into the creation of exams by their instructors. Tests have become increasingly easy as the problem persists. “I had a professor who gave us a one-question exam the other day,” said one totally-not-made-up-at-the-last-minute student. “He said he was too busy watching the Cowboys game the night before to finish making the rest of the test.”
Girlfriend's Guide to Fantasy Sports
The flex position isn't what you think it is, ladies.
page 5
“My poli-sci professor was telling us all about this really good book she had been reading on the day we were supposed to have a test,” said another student this author who was definitely actually interviewed was quoted saying “By the time she got done, she admitted that she never actually made out an exam for us and just asked us who the President was before giving us all A’s. In other cases, procrastination could turn out not to be quite so harmless. In response to recent questions concerning rising tuitions and costs of student living, Ole Miss chancellor Daniel Jones began fidgeting and rambling about his time commitments.
what’s inside
“Well, you see, we’re going to get the tuition issue under control…eventually. There’s just been so much other stuff going on lately. I’ve been trying to get caught up on Breaking Bad, for one. And I mean really, aren’t there so many other things you’d rather us be doing than trying to balance that whole budget? That’s just so much work. We could be doing so many other things instead—like not balancing the budget, for instance.” We’re considering building another fountain somewhere before we start working on tuition costs though, what do you guys think?” Above is a chart showing the campus-wide progression of procrastination.
The Top 10: Unhealthy Ways to Shed Pounds
bartender of the week
page 5
page 7
Because dieting and exercise are so overrated.
Jonathon from Roundtable falls asleep to the sweet sounds of Biggie.