Volume 11
The Black Sheep
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The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Issue 11
SHOULD YOU BE A CAT FOR HALLOWEEN? A BASIC GUIDE You’ve been to a couple Halloween parties this year, and things have been great. That Despicable Me minion outfit showed the world how a large amount of creativity and a small amount of clothes can make you the center of attention at any Halloween event. You’ve experienced many hauntings, hayrides, and horse cops, but now it’s week two of Halloween and your ideas for themed attire are growing thin. We know the “classic” cat costume is tempting, but don’t rush to any clichéd, uninspired decisions just yet. Here’s The Black Sheep’s criteria on whether or not a cat costume is what you’re looking for as apparel in the coming Halloween weekends.
WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS A CAT PERSON?
If you really love cats, then this costume may be for you. It may show the world that you’re adorable and soft, but at the same time cunning and perfectly willing to stab your closest friends in the back if they step on your tail. Everyone understands your affinity for your cute companion, and nobody’s accusing you of being a crazy cat lady just yet.
ARE YOU BEING JUST A CAT, AND NOT SOMEONE LIKE THE CAT IN THE HAT?
Think of all the famous cats out there that you could be with just a few more materials: the Cat in the Hat, Garfield, Puss in Boots. Hell, even Professor McGonagall
Albert Maclin wrote this fits into this category. Before you settle on the generic ears and tail, remember that you’ve passed up on representing some of the most prominent pussies of the age.
ARE YOU REALLY, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, COMPLETELY OUT OF COSTUME IDEAS?
Everyone is expecting the people who are too lazy to come up with something on their own to show up to the party dressed as a cat. Are you satisfied with being that person? If you’re really going to follow through with this, you have to really commit. You’ll have to spend the night eating Meow Mix and drinking milk—or the blood of your enemies. If you don’t think you can live up to the feline name, try another easy classic costume, like a ghost, a cowgirl, or Hillary Clinton. A manly pantsuit and a fierce haircut is all you need. Boys may possibly hit on a slutty secretary. No man, however, can resist a sexy ex-Secretary of State.
ARE YOU A CATTY BITCH?
You’ve committed to your part, so you’re going to have to fit your personality to the costume. Cats are known for being solitary, temperamental, and selfabsorbed. We’re not asking you to be like a resident of Ann Arbor, but a devious and ruthless personality will broadcast to your peers that your black cat costume is perfectly fitting, and that bad luck will befall them if they think otherwise.
PAGE 5 TOP 10: EAST LANSING COP POWER RANKINGS HORSE COPS SHOCKINGLY DON’T MAKE IT TO #1.
WILL THIS COSTUME INVOLVE CAT EARS?
A cat costume’s success is directly proportional to the amount of clothes not worn with it. You’ve already discarded your hopes of preserving your self-image by dressing as a cat, so don’t stress too
much if you’re not sure about wearing just a bandeau and a short skirt with cat ears. An ideal college Halloween cat costume would be black lingerie and cat ears without the cat ears. Just something to consider.
If you can confidently answer yes to all of these questions, then you’re prepared to dress as a feline night prowler. Unoriginality aside, you truly are an independent soul, and your costume choice reflects it well.
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WHITE GIRL TRAGEDY
THE BLACK SHEEP INTERVIEWS: JIMMY PARDO
A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE (NO GOOD, VERY MEDIOCRE) DAY. TEAR.
OUR CHAT WITH THE “COMIC’S COMIC.”
FOLLOW US @BLACKSHEEP_MSU OCTOBER 30th, 2014 - NOVEMBER 6th, 2014 THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM