Volume 5
The Black Sheep
you Free get ! Hon you est r w ly, l i-fi. ike Not how eve n so rry.
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Issue 5
The Three Best Things About Keeneland Rebecca Anderson wrote this Here at UK, we may not have a fully wet campus or a ranked football team, but we have something way better—we have Keeneland. Like chugging bourbon, playing basketball, and hating LexPark—it’s all part of our collective Wildcat culture. The three best things about Keeneland (other than the actual horses) are the mix of culture, irony, and encouraged gambling. How can you beat that combo?
The Culture: What the hell would you do on fall Fridays and away game weekends if you didn’t have Keeneland? It’s a good thing the great state of Kentucky is known for horses. Not only is it completely normal to see girls walking around campus with all of their horse shit: equestrian boots, saddle crop (hehehe), riding pants and all, but as a student, there’s something delicious about waking yourself up to Akon’s “Smack That” at full volume knowing that, yes, it’s race day. You don’t care that it’s 6:30a.m. as you actively ignore the fact that today you’re waking up earlier for Keeneland than you do for class each week. No one minds getting up for a good reason. It’s Keeneland, and that’s awesome.
The Irony: Where else can you see students dressed in their Easter Sunday best, erupting with a chorus of shouts and cheers that can only be translated to “Glad you’re here, let’s drink”? Fresh dresses and dress shirts get to see the first light of day since Greek formals, and there’s so much hairspray and gel that even the most complicated updo can’t survive the inescapable upcoming shit storm of the all-day party that is Keenland. The girls may be dressed like angels, but the pairs of feet squarely aimed towards the back corner of the room become the North Star to the keg line. A line of guys in perfectly pressed khakis and crisp shirts may look like gentlemen, but they soon look like young gentlemen lined against the wall being cited for underage drinking. Irony is strong in Keeneland, as is the booze.
The Actual Betting: Waking up Sunday morning realizing that you gambled your fraternity dues away betting on a horse just because its name was “Pour Me Another,” is a very real and very possible circumstance. As you pay your five dollars and walk into Keeneland, you feel like it’s Christmas, or basketball season—which are the same thing here in the Bluegrass. Fireball shots are passed around as the current race is shown on the television, while simultaneous cheers and bursts of anger can be heard as the horses cross the finish line. Sure, no one knows shit about horses, but hey, that one looks fast, and we can always put off looking at our credit card statements until Monday.
Equestrian activities are a way of life at the University of Kentucky, and Keeneland is a perfect example of how embedded horses are in the culture here, whether you’re there to bet, or just to drink some bourbon. So Wildcats, as you dive into the fall 2014 Keeneland season head first and at full force, just remember, Keeneland is way classier than Churchill Downs and the Cardinals can kiss our asses.
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YOUR PARENTS PAY A LOT FOR YOU TO GET AN EDUCATION THIS GOOD.
THE ONE GIRL IN CLASS IS IN FOR A RUDE-AWAKENING.
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