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The Booze News
Vol. 24, Issue 15
THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
5/7/14 - 5/14/14
5 THINGS ON CAMPUS YOU DON’T THINK YOU’LL MISS (BUT YOU WILL) KITTY KAT WROTE THIS The parties, the late night food runs, the tank-top frat boys and the vodka-fueled hook-ups—all the obvious things you’re going to miss after graduation. But what about the little hidden gems that campus has to offer? These are the things you overlook every day, but will leave humongous gaps in your heart once you move back home. We present to you our top five: The Rotten Egg Smell in the Boneyard Greenway: You probably cut through campus with this path a few times after leaving Legends and heading home. But if you were lucky enough to walk the Greenway during the day, you’d notice a delicious little scent flowing downstream from the Engineering Quad—the smell of math, physics, learning and researching. This is just another great gift from the engineers of this in the CU what great reminders will you have of these intelligent individuals? Skyscrapers and computers? That’s nothing compared to this pungent odor of dead fish and spoiled dairy products. The One World Pizza of Years Past: No, not Drew’s. Or Rick’s. Or whatever weird man owned it at some point. The original. But the point here is that where are you ever going to find high-quality, greasy pizzas for $5 at 2 a.m. ever again? You can’t even find it anywhere else on campus now! When you move back home, you’ll be stuck heating up frozen Hot Pockets when you have a craving. As delicious as that sounds, it’s just not enough to fill the void that a large, dirt-cheap, passably mediocre pizza left behind. The Littered, Trashed Streets After a Night Out: Sure, it was disgusting on Friday mornings as you walked to class and the garbage happily floated around your ankles. Who knows what was among those paper plates and napkins blowing in the wind outside Second Story. Needles? A used condom? It’s gross, but think of it as a campus-wide scrapbook of memories. You get an idea of where everyone else’s night ended up, even if you can’t remember where yours did. It makes this big campus of 40,000 feel just a little bit smaller. The Constant Sirens: They were background noise most of the time; you hardly even realized they were there. But man, campus is alive! Fires and alcohol poisonings … you always knew there was something
going on. Imagine living somewhere where everything was safe and quiet and calm. Where’s the fun in that? Luckily, you can get your fix of this by moving to Chicago, so it’s like a little home away from home. The Sticky Floor of Brother’s and Kam’s: Even though icing out is a tradition, you can thank the big-dick frat boys for the disgusting state of the floors around 1 a.m. But these sticky floors aren’t just meant to rip apart your cute new sandals or help you twist your ankle while casually
dancing with your crush, they’re saying: “Don’t leave, Katelyn … stay a little longer … your tab is only $30 … you can double that, baby.” You’ll never feel this kind of true, heartfelt connection with someone (or something) ever again. After you graduate, don’t forget about the CU and the land you called home for four sweet years. Take a drive to campus, go streaking through Frat Park and heckle people from your friend’s balcony just like old times.
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