The Black Sheep
Fr e Gr e....l an ik dm e Li a a ke t T ou ha t-ra nk ci sg sti ivi ng ng !
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 14 11/15/12 - 11/29/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA
The Tech rivalry: Clean, old fashioned Indifference Katie Weimer wrote this If you look back on history every grand feud had two distinct sides, and often each side had justifiable reasons for fighting. Rosie O’Donnell hates Donald Trump because he’s a conservative pig and Donald Trump hates O’Donnell because she’s a socialist lesbian. Mariah Carey hates Nicki Minaj because Nicki’s a loudmouth diva who is only concerned about herself. Nicki Minaj hates Mariah Carey because Mariah’s a loudmouth diva who is only concerned about herself. Even though this seems like a pretty simple formula to understand, the two major universities in Georgia can’t seem to get it right. Unlike the Bulldogs’ rivalries with schools such as Florida and Auburn, we can’t legitimize our “feud” with our in-state little brothers. Simply put, we can’t give the amount of fucks required for a feud with Georgia Tech to exist. Sadly, Tech seems to think that if they care—if they needle us Dawgs enough - that eventually some semblance of a rivalry will exist. For a school that mostly teaches how to balance an equation, the students aren’t too good at applying that concept in real-life terms. As confusing as this lopsidedness of the “rivalry” with Tech is, UGA could fix the problem by equaling things out and hating Tech as much as we’re hated there. Sadly, this can’t happen. If pointing out their shamefully stereotypical nerdom—from the glasses to the nasal problems, social issues and lack of female accompaniment - constitutes anything, it’s bullying, and we’re not into that. Those things are true; ergo it’s just sad, not funny. The key here is to get creative as to how we hate Tech. Bulldogs don’t get particularly offended by Tech spats because hey, really? Having those twerps talk shit is upsetting? Georgia Tech kids are like a little brother who just pinches you over and over again—just plain annoying. You could do him in, but it’s barely even worth the trouble at this point. So how can we manufacture some actual reasons to hate that black and gold school? May we humbly suggest smuggling Uga onto their campus so we can accuse them of mascot thievery? Sure, the plant would be a dirty trick, and they wouldn’t be able to prove we were actually the culprits, but it really could mean that
PMS: Post-Masturbation Syndrome Do you feel fatigued and guilty
on a daily basis? You may have PMS.
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a few students here on campus could justifiably hate those Yellow Jackets. Other suggestions involve a variety of in-Athens activities: Setting fire to the SLC, engraving GT’s logo onto the chapel bell, defecating in Uga’s dog house, spraying a Yellow Jacket onto Sanford Field with herbicide. For Tech to give us a reason to actually hate them, they have to commit a crime on our turf. Perhaps one of these could even out the hatred between Tech and us; leaving GT students more fulfilled, giving them
what’s inside
The Top Ten Thanksgiving Disasters If your Thanksgiving Dinner lacks in
purpose at their sad, loser-laden university, and ending the one-sidedness of the rivalry. Finally we could give those delusional Yellow Jackets what they want—a rivalry that both schools care about. Or we could just completely ignore them and face the fact that we have to be the bigger men. In the same way that Canada just takes gentle ribbings from Americans, because Canadians do America right. We might need to remain in stoic silence, let Tech fumble over their footballs and insults while we do Georgia schooling the right way.
No No Shave November Ever
You guys, your health is at risk. BEARDS START ON FIRE, ARE YOU DUMB?
food, booze, and football, you can see your self out of this country.
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