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The Black Sheep

cu Fre t-b e.. as ..li ke ke tb be al at l p in la g k ye rs ent in uc fo ky ot ’s ba ll .

• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 3, Issue 10 10/18/12 - 10/24/12

theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA

costume conundrum? crossdress! Sarra Sedghi wrote this Halloween is fast approaching us, ladies, and if you’re anything like me you haven’t officially decided what to dress up as yet. Will you choose a classic ensemble? Sexy nurse? That stupid half-angel-half-devil thing? Or, if you’re a hipster, the go-to sexy cat or Native American? Maybe you want to take a more creative approach, like a scantily-clad Hunger Games tribute. We’ve also seen a slutty bee and a sexy piece of candy corn circulating around the Internet, if you’re looking for inspiration there. Let’s face it: All those generic sexy costumes suck. You’re in luck though, because we’ve discovered a joy in something far less predictable and self-deprecating than prefabricated prostitute uniforms. Take a cue from the boys and cross-dress this Halloween. Menswear isn’t your style, you say? Let me change your mind. Just like the armada of old men that handed out all those Bibles a few weeks ago, I’ll stop at nothing to convert you. Do you want to show some skin? That’s not a problem. Nobody cares that the shorts you bought when you were anorexic are part of your Ash Ketchum costume, because you actually have a Pikachu with you and you’re helping everyone bask in that 90s childhood glory. People will look past your body and instead idolize and envy your creativity. Or maybe you hate those generic slutty costumes because you don’t want to show that much skin. I completely agree with you. If I wanted to look like a prostitute, then I’d just go out in my Sexy Pajamas and wear way too much red lipstick—and maybe a coat, just for a hint of secrecy. Once again, cross-dressing can come to your rescue, especially since it’s always really cold on Halloween. If you’ve got a clever costume, it won’t matter how covered your sex-god body is. How do I know? Last year, I dressed up as Oliver Twist and still got hit on, even though I was wearing my dad’s jacket from the 70s and had charcoal smeared on my face. I might have not ranked very high on the Slut-O-Meter, but you know what? I was hot!

doesn’t mean you have to wear a skimpy little dress and stick on some fake boobs. The most important rule of cross-dressing for girls applies to you as well: Be creative! Pick a woman that inspires you, like your mom or the best Disney Princess ever even though she isn’t really a princess, Mulan. If you want to make people laugh, throw on a one-piece swimsuit and say you’re Lady Gaga or an Olympic gymnast. Relevance is always a great strategy.

You know what else is great about cross-dressing? Guys can do it too! And boys, just because you’re dressing like a woman

It’s always important for boys in dresses and skirts to remain on the defensive. A friend of mine cross-dressed for Halloween

top 10: things to do in athens during an away game consider it pre-season to nonfootball season.

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what’s inside

about six or seven years ago, and ended up getting his balls grabbed by a child who wanted to figure out if this chick was really a girl or a dude on his own. An incident like this isn’t guaranteed, but if you’re terrified of a stranger touching your private area, you might want to look into learning some selfdefense tactics. Our own writer Alex could even give you a few Jiu Jitsu tips if you want. So forget the overcrowded costume shop this Halloween. Just raid a guy’s (or girl’s) closet, tuck your balls (or boobs), and get started.

wesley exposÉ

registering for success!

how do these rockstars have such a buddy-buddy relationship with jesus? what are they hiding?

start with the basics: walking and napping. you’ll be rich in no time!

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contents page 10: bartender of the week Matt from Silver Dollar loves himself some liquid cocaine.

Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com

page 12

page 11: from the streets

Table of

If you were stranded on an island for the rest of eternity, and had the option of choosing any celebrity to accompany you, who are you choosing and why?

page 12: 5 Horrors of Higher Academia True hauntings that will probably definitely happen on your campus, too.

page 13: We Interview: Owen We talk acoustics and his latest album with the indie soloist.

page 15: the quiz what kind of trick-or-treater were you?

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now hiring! Why wouldn't you want to work somewhere with unlimited koozies and a "pants are optional� policy?

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apply online at theblacksheeponline.com


page three p e e h S k The Blaicle App Mob

PICS | DRINKING Y PART | S L BAR SPECIA SCAN TO DOWNLOAD

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! k e e W e h t f o c i P

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Sexy Anagrams

Elvis is still alive, and he’s at a UGA tailgate! (Want to become famous next week? Awesome.)

Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com

Eater Zilch Lean Pawn Um Horn

Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!

last week’s answers Sarah Shahi & Common

word of the week

Guyser: The urine stream of a man who hasn’t used a restroom in over five hours.

“After downing that yardstick of beer, Rob’s guyser allowed him to pee into a urinal from the opposite side of the bathroom.”


official black sheep tailgate party! SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20th AT SILVER DOLLAR STARTS AT 6:30 PM, KICK-OFF AT 7:PM!

FIRST 100 DRINKS: ONLY $1 • NEXT 200 DRINKS: ONLY $2

ALL NIGHT: GREAT DRINK SPECIALS, AWESOME PRIZES, AND SWEET SWAG!

the silver dollar

262 College Avenue, Athens follow the black sheep! @blacksheep_uga


The Top 10

Things to Do in Athens during an Away Game We can’t go to the game every Saturday, so here are 10 things to help you forget you aren’t going buck at a tailgate: 10.) Get your Culture Fix: Aside from housing some of the best films ever, Ciné has really good popcorn. And a bar. But for real, some of the best movies ever have played at Ciné. This includes The Room. 9.) Eat and Be Merry: Get dolled up and go to a restaurant you normally wouldn’t be able to squeeze into during a game weekend. Be extra-fancy and get wine. Or, if you’d rather do something a little trashier, get trashed and eat some Raising Cane’s or cook some bacon. Your dinner might not stay down as easily, but you’ll be a damn lying liar if you say it doesn’t taste better that way. 8.) Sleep: Boring? Maybe, but chances are you’ve been going hard studying, drinking, or just doing nothing all week, and all of those activities are exhausting. With Fall Break and Georgia/ Florida just around the corner, the last thing you want to do is crash and burn because you’re tired. 7.) Go Shopping: And by “go shopping,” we mean “parade around some stores with your friends and goof off the entire time.” You could try pretending to be rich and try on a bunch of clothes to piss off the salespeople, but that only works in Disney Channel Original Movies. 6.) Watch the Game: Go to a bar and bond with a bunch of people you don’t remember sleeping with over a common love of football and debauchery. Maybe you’ll meet some wealthy older guy who won’t mind buying you a few drinks. Dignity, you say? Forget dignity! Do it for the Bulldogs! 5.) Host a Marathon: Gather some comrades and host a drunken movie marathon. Watch as many movies in a series, or episodes of a TV show as possible before you all pass out or get antsy and decide to head downtown. Search the Internet for a related drinking game or make up your own.

TOPPERS INTERNATIONAL SHOWBAR

ATHENS HOTTEST ENTERTAINMENT

CELEBRATING OUR 20th ANNIVERSARY!

ATTENTION, LADIES:

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4.) Go Outside and Do Fall Things: What sounds better than a tipsy stroll through a pumpkin patch? Perhaps a drunken hayride, a drunken voyage through a corn maze, or a drunken trip to a haunted house. Fit a drunken fall excursion in before the weather decides to go ape-shit on us and it’s colder than Christmas. 3.) Throw a Theme Party: Oh wait, we’re all broke. Just crash a theme party instead. Dress accordingly and you shouldn’t have any issues. Nobody knows one another at these things anyway, so you can slip in, wreak havoc, and stumble out without the burden of actually knowing the hosts. 2.) See Some Live Music: Athens is famous for that, right? Athens holds a slew of great venues. And you know what else these venues have? Bars. Don’t feel like drinking? Hello, have you seen the kind of people at shows? Just buy some drugs from them. Problem solved. 1. Get Drunk Anyway: Saturday in Athens isn’t just about football, especially because there are lots of Saturdays you’ll spend here that don’t involve football at all. The best way to keep the spirit alive is by investing heavily in spirits. Is Athens not one of the greatest cities on earth? The real question is, why we aren’t hammered every second of our blessed and incredible collegiate careers?

Sarra Sedghi wrote this

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theblacksheeponline.com

registering for success! Alex Edelstein wrote this

It’s that time of year again. The leaves are changing, the temperature is dropping, and counseling appointments for students across campus are in full swing. As a freshman, seeing as this is my first registration since I’ve been in school, I feel the need to really take advantage of it. No silly, that doesn’t mean planning for my future and making sure I finish in four years, or even that I take necessary classes. It means having fun, and plenty of time for naps. I’m a Management Information systems major with a minor in Japanese. At my advising appointment I was told I had two options: I could add a finance major and take 5 classes every semester from now until I graduate, or study abroad for a year. After thirty seconds of shock, I knew the whole double major thing wasn’t going to happen. Instead, I was going to work the school to my benefit. First on my list of classes to take: Women’s Studies 1000. With an average of 40 girls in each class, I am certain that a ratio of me to 39 girls will work in my favor. By that, of course, I mean sex. Here, I could meet the deprived feminist type who in high school never really got attention from boys but blossomed in college and still hasn’t embraced love. Love that I could provide. Who doesn’t want the warm embrace of young love? Second on my list, the most mentally strenuous of all the classes I plan on taking, is Fitness For Life: Walking. It’s exactly what it sounds like. You take walks. Three times a week. Yes, this is a real class that counts towards a P.E. requirement. The school describes the course as “a class that focuses on individual improvement in cardiovascular fitness by regular and progres-

sive walks,” and also that “fitness walking techniques are covered.” A walk in the park to an easy 4.0. The third class that interests me is Fashion Merchandising. The school listing shows that the average class size here is 60. So this time around the odds are 59 to 1. Again, things are coming up Alex. But this class provides me with a different set of women. Women’s Studies was a warm up, this would be the real thing. The women in this class are driven individuals who want to own their own companies. Women who will make a lot of money and then buy me everything I’ve ever wanted. Beauty, brains, and entrepreneurship all rolled up into one attractive package. I think that a semester in this class would do me some real good. To appease the school, a HOPE scholarship, and my mother, I will add two classes that are considered “academically rigorous”: Learning to Learn and Strategies and Life Skills. Learning to Learn consists of a rigorous agenda of napping, a little learning of study skills, more napping, and then some more napping. The teachers claim they will lower your grade if they see you sleeping, but if they lowered everyone’s grade in the class the administration would become suspicious. So they don’t do shit. As for Life Skills class, you learn how to deal with stress, fold laundry, and not fail out freshman year, though they make no guarantees about the next three-odd years. This schedule should enrich my life both academically and socially. But mostly socially. Hell, I might even find time to go to class.

Wesley Exposé Katie Weimer wrote this Without a doubt, one of the largest on-campus groups at UGa is the Wesley Foundation. They put on the façade of a Methodist, Jesus-lovin’ organization that just wants you to love God as much as those people yelling at you in Tate Plaza do. Although they are unaffiliated with the middle-aged men that see fit to tell college kids not to drink or have sex, their end message is the same—they just want you to love God. OR IS THAT ALL? In this exposé, we investigate the curious ways in which Wesley operates, and how this seemingly innocent operation is just after your soul for their own use, like that woman who broke your heart all those days ago. First off, these people greet God as if he is a buddy of theirs. Not even the Pope and God are close enough to engage in a conversation opening with, “What’s up God, how’s it kicking?” or “Hey my brother from another mother! Props, Mary!” But somehow, these kids have such an achieved status that it’s like they’re pals with God. Have they never heard the term “Godfearing?” The only explanation is that they have an in, a secret alliance that they’re not publicizing unless you commit to them, probably via some Illuminati-type shady deal. Need some more proof that something fishy is going on with this “Christian” group? Have you ever accidentally said to yourself, “Yeah, Wednesday night seems like a fantastic night to be at the SLC!” You. Are. Wrong. The traffic on Lumpkin is worse than any game day and it’s like being on the driver’s end of Frogger, with students practically begging to be flattened by a truck, minus the adorable pixilation. And if you’re lucky and you sacrifice a hare to the pagan gods, you might get into Tate Deck. Why all the madness? It’s worship day for Wesley, of course! But good God (no pun intended), how in the world do they overtake the entirety of Tate?

If you do indeed make it to the fifth floor, you’ll see the spectacle that is the Wesley Cult. Well, maybe not a cult but there is something weird going on there. So much rock. Maybe we’re just incompetent, but we didn’t know love for Jesus is measured in amp usage. Exactly who are they trying to reach with that loud music? And how does everyone know all the words? So many unanswered questions. The only explanation is that they have subliminal beats—notes that are drawing those who just happen to be walking by into the Grand Hall. Once you’re enraptured, they implant your brain with the words to sing. And voila—a cult-like following. These are the only explanations there are. As far as motives go, perhaps they just want to see everyone as hopped up on God love as they are. Or maybe it’s something more sinister, like a cult working for the Chacos company, trying to get everyone to buy a pair of their shoes. Either way, it is obvious this group wants you to join. Whether or not it’s for Christian motives remains to be seen.


The Grid Friday & Saturday Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite

Friday & Saturday Happy Hour until 11pm!

Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita

Monday - friday Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm: $1.50 Champagne and Domestic Bottles, $3.25 House Wines, Wells and Drafts, $1 Off (Almost) Everything Else

THURSDAY 10/18

$3 Pitchers $2 Wells

$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi $4 Jack 3 Bombs for $10

Bomb Night $2 Cruzan Bombs $3 Jager Bombs $3 Bacardi Bombs $5 Moonshine Margaritas

$2 Speciality Martinis for Ladies $2.50 Yuengling for All Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm Adult Swim 10pm -11pm!

FRIday 10/19

Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite

Happy Hour until 11!

$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas

Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm: $1.50 Champagne and Domestic Bottles, $3.25 House Wines, Wells and Drafts, $1 Off (Almost) Everything Else Adult Swim from 10-11!

SATurday 10/20

Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite

Happy Hour until 11!

$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas

Adult Swim! 10pm - 11pm $2 Wells, Wines, and Domestic Bottles $2.50 Grand Marnier $2.50 Cazadores Tequila

SPECIAL NIGHT

SUNday 10/21

Sunday Funday!

Gruet Champagne Mimosas 15 Draft Beers all for $3.25 $2.50 Grand Marnier All Day!

Closed

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$1 Wells & Shots $2 Domestics 3 Bombs for $10

Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita

Bottomless Spinach Dip! $2 Wells Martinis $3.25 Specialty Cocktails Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm

tuesday 10/23

$2 All Bottled Beer

$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10

Dollar Night $1 Shots/Shooters $1 Wells $5 Moonshine Margarita

Taco Tuesday! $1 Pulled Pork Tacos 7pm - 10pm 10pm - 2am: $2.75 Drafts Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm

WED. 10/24

$2 Wells $2 Domestics

$2 Wells and Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10

Ladies Night: $3 Martinis $6 Bottles of House Wine (White or Red) $5 Moonshine Margarita

10 Wings + A Pitcher of Yuengling or Heineken for only $10! 10pm - 2am: $2 Wells Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm

monday 10/22


If you don’t start following us...

YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT’S SO DAMN FUNNY.

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The Grid Everyday! Happy Hour 5pm - 10pm: $2 Wells & Domestics

Everyday! $2 Tall Boys

Happy Hour 4 - 10 P.M. Monday - Thursday Happy Hour 12-10 P.M on Fridays $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else!

$2 Champagne $3 Wells

Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!

LADIES NIGHT! Soup of the Day: Vodka $2 Martinis, $2 Vodka Shots & Shooters Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else

$2 Shot Specials

Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!

Happy Hour 12-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Breakfast, Bloodies, and Brews (Only on Gamedays)! Complementary Breakfast Beer Specials & Bloody Mary Specials

SPECIAL NIGHT

Everyday! Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm: $2 Drinks and Shots, $1.50 Bud Light

THURSDAY 10/18

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm

Ladies Night! 11pm - 2am $2 Speciality Martinis $6 Wine Bottles

FRIday 10/19

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!

SATurday 10/20

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!

$2 Shot Specials

Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!

SUNday 10/21

Closed

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Closed

monday 10/22

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! 11pm - 2am: $1 Wells, Drinks, Shots & Shooters

$1 Domestic Drafts $3 Wells

$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys

Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Live Music!

tuesday 10/23

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! Koozie Night 11pm - 2am! $1 Tallboys $2 Drinks & Shots

$2 Wells & Domestics All Night!

$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys

Happy Hour ALL DAY! $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else

WED. 10/24

Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! After 11: Karaoke with Kenny! $1 Shots, $3 Drinks

$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys

Soup of the Day: Whiskey $2 Bourbon Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else

$10 Bottomless Wine, $3 Wells


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The Grid Friday! Happy Hour from 4pm - 9pm $1.50 PBR

All Day, every day! $2 Natty Light Tallboys, $3 Crystal Lt. & Vodka Drinks $3 Margaritas, $3 Cuervo Tequila & Smirnoff Flavor Slammers

Everyday! Power Hour 9pm -11pm: $1 Wells, $4 Firefly Drinks All Night

Everyday: 2 for 1 VIP & Floor Dances till 8PM *All Night on Tuesdays

power hour daily! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm

SPECIAL NIGHT

$2.50 Stella Artois $3 Absolut Drinks

$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night

$3 Cover $2 PBR, $3 Wells $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM

Book your socials for exclusive group deals!

THURS. 10/18

$1.50 PBR Happy Hour Specials from 4pm - 9pm

$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night

2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM

Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm

FRI. 10/19

$2.25 Doug Styles

$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night

2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM

Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm

SAT. 10/20

Closed

Closed

Closed

Closed

Closed

SUN. 10/21

$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Fireball

$1 Wine Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

50% Off Everything!

No Cover! $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM

$1 Drinks & Shots

MON. 10/22

$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Tullamore Dew

$2 Pitchers, $2 Wine $2 Moonshine Drinks and Shots Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

$2 Vodka Well Drinks $2 High Life Pitchers $4 Skinny Girl Cucumber Vodka Drinks $5 Wine Bottles $5 Bottles of Wine

$1 Tuesdays $1 Cover $1 House Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 Vip and Floor Dances ALL Night!

$2 Drinks & Shots

TUES. 10/23

$1.50 Off All Pitchers! $2.50 Lone Star Tall Boys $2.25 Doug Styles

$1 Wine $1 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters

$2 Well Drinks

$2 Cover, $3 Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM

Ladies Night! $1 Wells

WED. 10/24

Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night

Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night


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theblacksheeponline.com

bartender of the week matt f. silver dollar What’s your major? I will be graduating culinary school in May. What’s your relationship status? Currently in a relationship with a lovely lady. Favorite drink (and how you make it)? I like the classic bourbon and ginger. Recently I have gotten into Knob Creek. Their single-barrel bourbon is a personal favorite of mine. Favorite shot? It depends on what kind of night it is. Most nights that you find me downtown, I’m looking to get pretty drunk, so I will normally go with any combo of Jager. Liquid Cocaine - Jager, Rumple, Goldschlager; Surfer on Acid - Jager, Malibu, pineapple juice. Worst drink ever? The only actual bad drink I can think of is more of a shot. It has got to be the dreaded “Four Horsemen.” I have taken one of these in my life and that is too many. How I pour it—Jim Beam, Jack Daniel’s, Johnny Walker Red, and of course that asshole Jose Ceurvo. Jennifer Aniston or Mila Kunis? And why? That’s probably the hardest question you could ask me, but

the drinking game

BAC - Tosh.08 Comedy Central has a tendency to play day-long marathons of reruns before getting to the shows people actually want to watch (South Park). If you’re lucky, you’ll turn on Comedy Central to find a run of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Futurama episodes. However, if you’re not so lucky you will be forced to watch a marathon of a naked Daniel Tosh making tasteless dick jokes. Doesn’t he know that’s our job? What You’ll Need: Cans of beer or mixed drinks, whatever you so desire. Number of Players: As many people you can find that like drinking and internet videos. Level of Intoxication: If you follow all of the rules than you should be as drunk as the average idiot in most internet videos. How to Play: Take one drink when: -Somebody hurts themselves in a video. -Something is blurred/bleeped out. -Tosh makes a self-deprecating joke. Take two drinks when: -Tosh makes a racist joke. -Tosh hints at his homosexuality.

Take three drinks when: -Tosh says, “And for that, we thank you.” -Somebody in a video is speaking Russian. -Somebody in a video is clearly almost killed. Finish your drink when: -Tosh is fully nude. -Tosh’s “20 Seconds on the Clock” actually lasts more than 20 seconds. -The word “Reddit” is spoken.

The Game Ends When: Karmic justice comes around and he’s decapitated by Islamic fundamentalists on video.

download our app for all of our drinking games!

there’s just something about Kunis’ feistiness. Favorite TV show of all time? Even though there has only been two seasons, I’m going to have to say Game of Thrones. That show had me hooked from the second it started. What are you going to be doing on a perfect Saturday afternoon, 13 years from now? Hopefully watching my Philadelphia Eagles beat the Dallas Cowboys at the bar of my own restaurant. Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Wayne Rooney? I don’t know how many friend groups I have had, since I started balding in like the 5th grade, to make that comparison. But to answer your question, yes, a lot. Whose celebrity lifestyle would you want to live for 24 hours? I think I would have to say Brad Pitt because he is a certified badass in every role that he plays. Also, he has had two of the hottest women in the world on his arm. Best thing about Sundays? Why? Sundays are the only day that I’m guaranteed to have a day off. Not to mention, I am a huge NFL fan.

Recipe for Disaster

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies This is one that you’ll want to share with friends, but if you have no friends, you can still put yourself up to the challenge. That challenge being a competition between your arteries and your colon to see which one can get clogged first. What You’ll Need: ¾ cups flour, ½ teaspoon baking soda, ¾ teaspoon baking powder, ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons butter, ½ cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar, ½ cup plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, ½ cup chocolate (dark, for you wild and crazy types) morsels, 8 slices of crispy bacon Cook Time: Approximately 35 minutes. Fatty Factor: Didn’t you read the intro, fatty? Let’s Get Baked: - Toss the flour, baking soda, and powder into a bowl. - Whip that butter and sugar good until you get a nice, fluff-like concoction. Add an egg for good measure and go all Devo on it. Give that vanilla some love too. - Your flour/baking soda/powder mix is feeling lonely. Toss it in with the wet stuff. - Douse that sucker generously with chocolate and bacon (make this phrase a part of everyday life). - Let this all sit in the fridge for a day. - Preheat your oven and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. - Scoop your mix and cup some balls. - Bake ‘em to your perfection for around 20 minutes, and let them cool before devouring. It’ll take a few minutes for the stroke to kick in but when it does, just ride out the storm.

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From the Streets

[PartyPics]

Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com

If you were stranded on an island for the rest of eternity, and had the option of choosing any celebrity to accompany you, who are you choosing and why? “Dave Chappelle. I will gather him food in exchange for comedy skits.” - Tori W., Senior

“Bear Grylls. He’d know how to keep us alive and I think he’d be a pretty chill guy to hang with… Well, up until the point where he starts drinking his own piss.” - Jah R., Senior

“I would choose Chuck Norris. During our stay on the island he could train me in all the ways of truly kickin’ ass. We would devise a way off the island and rule the world together.” - Frank M., Senior

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5 horrors of Higher Academia that Will Probably definitely Happen on your Campus, Too Penn State: Betsy Aardsma

University of Georgia:

Anna Hamilton/Susie Caruthers

The Facts: Young Betsy was a regular young English major, and like any young English major she was spending a late night in the stacks, researching an upcoming paper. Innocently using the stacks the way they’re supposed to be used (not getting high in, or having sex, you sickos) she was stabbed through the heart by two men – who have yet to be found to this day. The Legend: The aisle where Betsy was stabbed is still in use today. Amongst recordings and strange reports coming out of current students, there was one student who had been researching books in the same aisle, and later woke up to a strong sensation of being strangled – whether he was just hiding his autoerotic asphyxiation habit or not is up to you. The Fear: Every campus has an old library that for some ungodly reason still keeps Japanese criticisms of Dutch interpretations of Moby Dick around – it’s the never-ending labyrinth higher education. Since the Internet can’t always provide you with

streamlined porn and Moby Dick interpretations, you have your lug your ass to the library stacks. Alone and confused in the dark, you are extremely susceptible to being stabbed and left for dead, as the rickety librarian leads EMTs to the spot she thinks you might be. There aren’t cameras, and no one knows you’re there… better prepare to make it your place of eternal agitation.

Illinois Central College: Crampton Hall The Facts: A university resident hall, Crampton Hall, was built in 1873 - a cursed year that saw Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis receive a patent for using copper rivets to reinforce work pants. Built to house 69 men, this dormitory has a history of men being trapped in closets. This should surprise no one. The Legend: Two reports of similar tales occurring on different dates exist. In one, a young man is found dead in his closet, hanged in such a way that he could not have done it himself. The other tale has several men pre-gaming in a dorm room. When the bros finally decide to roll out to find some hoes, they call on another

bro. Entering his room, the find him tied up in a closet, upside down, naked, and incoherent. The Fear: Closets are necessary for any modern man or woman. Without them, clothing would be strewn willy-nilly across a room that’s already breathtakingly small. They’re a necessary evil—housing everything from t-shirts earned through intramural sport to t-shirts received by signing up for various campus clubs. Closets aren’t going anywhere. Hell, there’s probably a closet in whatever room you’re reading this in right now, dear reader. If you’re lucky, there’s even a naked dude in it.

California State University Channel Islands The Facts: Opened in 2002, Cal State Channel Islands is housed in a series of buildings previously known as Camarillo State Mental Hospital—an insane asylum. This seemed like a good idea to someone somewhere who had never seen a scary movie in his life. The Legend: A variety of ghostly occurrences have happened on the campus, from ghosts dancing in the light only to disappear, to ghosts of the crazy and the dead wandering the grounds. Basically, a lot of ghosts doing scary stuff in a scary place. Also, the cafeteria food at this place is supposed to be pretty sub-par. Stay away from the Italian Veggie soup, it’s definitely not made from scratch. The Fear: What’s the point of even eating soup if it’s coming out of a big plasti—Oh, the ghost stuff. Well, what’s terrifying about that is, we can’t prove whether or not ghosts exist; so even

The Facts: Two ghosts are known to haunt different sorority houses on the University of Georgia campus. First is Anna Hamilton, who witnessed her boyfriend get murdered, then buried under the steps of the Phi Mu house. Then, at the Alpha Gamma Delta house, one Susie Caruthers hung herself in the attic after being stood up on her wedding day. The Legend: Girls have reported being able to communicate with Anna, and many hear her crying in empty rooms of the house or at the top of the stairs. Susie’s ghost is a little more active, as she glares at people through the attic’s windows, walks around the attic, moves furniture around, and turns lights on and off – typical ghost stuff. The Fear: Who knows what history the building you live in holds. You moved in at the beginning of the year - but think of all the prior occupants, all the creepy energies that have moved in and out, slept where you sleep, hung themselves in the closet you drunkenly peed in last weekend. Ignorance is bliss, sure, but maybe you should think about why all your drawers got pulled out, instead of blaming your drunken self. Maybe you should think twice next time you privately masturbate on Sunday mornings – someone could be watching.

Manhattanville College: Marissa Pagli The Facts: Marissa Pagli was killed in 2010 by her own mother after a domestic argument in the staff housing apartment they shared on campus. Marissa’s mother stated she killed her daughter because Marissa was “disrespectful all the time.” Remember kids, bitches be crazy. The Legend: Other than the mother’s vague reasoning, there’s no real rhyme or reason to this murder. A note that explains the motive has not been released to the public, and the family’s life was seen as stable prior to the murder. Out loud this time, class: bitches be crazy.

though the idea of one is kind of stupid, someone could just go and be all, “But you can’t prove they don’t exist!” and they’d be right about that, giving them some sense of self-satisfaction even though they haven’t proven their crackpot conspiracy theory, and the look of smugness that will inevitably creep across their face is just the worst.

The Fear: It’s a cold, dark night at State University and you’re in your room alone when someone knocks. You quickly minimize the pornography on your computer screen and tiptoe to the door. A sense of dread washes over you as you whisper “Who is it?” hoping desperately that only silence comes from the other side. Then it happens, a response: “It’s… your mother.” Slowly, you begin to realize that you’re in college and you’re living with your parents. If that doesn’t make you want to die, nothing will.


the interview

owen

Owen is the solo project of Chicago-based Mike Kinsella. Known for his soft melodies and complex acoustics, Kinsella is an influential force in the indie scene. His most recent album, Ghost Town, can be downloaded on iTunes or streamed at polyvinylrecords.com. Otherwise, catch him touring the east coast October through December. (Catch him on twitter @mybandOwen) By: Quinn The Black Sheep: Your first few bands were with your family - a couple with your brother and cousin, what started that? Did you guys start playing when you were little kids? Owen: Oh yeah, my brother is a couple of years older and he started a high school band that practiced in our basement. I would sit upstairs, pick up a guitar and try to play along. Then eventually they realized I could play all their songs, so I joined as second guitar... and then they were the only people I played for the first five years of my career. TBS: You eventually had to take over, because you’re pretty damn good at guitar. Owen: The other guy is actually way better at guitar than I am - Victor Villarreal, and he’s played in multiple bands as well - he’s pretty fantastic. TBS: But you’ve got some pretty intricate guitar tabs and lyrics one must pay attention to, does that call for a more intimate crowd? Do you ever get frustrated with bigger crowds? Owen: Yeah, [laughs] I shouldn’t say this, but it used to bum me out, like depress me. Every so often I’d get crabby and make an asshole remark on stage or something. But I’ll just play my songs for the people trying to pay attention - so I play the best I can for them. TBS: So you’ve moved from recording in a studio, to recording at home, and back to the studio. What did you like about recording at home? Owen: I wanted to learn how to do it, first of all. I think it helped me understand, helped me write songs - to understand the process of recording them. Like putting different layers on top of things, the capabilities of cutting and pasting and looping. But eventually I got too stagnant, and I never got too good at it, so I thought I should probably just pay the professionals. I spent too much time setting up mics and looking for the sound I heard in my head. Someone who knows what they’re doing could do it in their first try. TBS: Are there any songs that work a lot in the studio, but don’t transfer to the live show? Owen: Oh yeah, I mean most of them [laughs], it’s kind of a joke and kind of not - there are a bunch of songs that I never bothered learning after they went on the album, because halfway through the song another guitar or something comes in that completely changes the song - so if we did that live there’s no effect - it’s either not going to be there or not be the same effect. TBS: I saw that you played at Heads And Threads? (Ed. Note: Heads and Threads is a shoddy wig shop in Chicago.) Owen: Oh yeah. TBS: What was that? That is insane. Owen: We were just looking for random places that would make for an interesting setting, and we walked by and saw the heads in there. My buddy went in and asked if it was okay - there were a couple old Asian ladies and they’re like yeah, that’s fine... So I played basically to them, whoever else walked into the store, and a bunch of fake heads. TBS: For your most recent album, Ghost Town, you were married and had just become a father, did that affect the album at all? Owen: Definitely changed the content of the lyrics - instead of talking about failed relationships and pining over girls - it’s more about being in a relationship, and the good things and struggles with that. Having a kid is a total mindfuck, like, a lot of my stuff is faith-based: me struggling with not having a faith, but wanting to have one. You want there to be an afterlife and a purpose to all this, so it definitely changes the content. Like my daughter is going to a Catholic preschool, so she’ll come home and ask things like “Can we sing songs about the father?” She doesn’t really know what that means, so it’s kind of funny. TBS: You’re pretty active on Twitter. How has that changed your relationship with the fans? Owen: I like Twitter; my Facebook page isn’t really me, but my Twitter is. There are some days where I don’t really post anything, then I’ll have a couple beers, watch a movie, and post like a hundred things. It can be a very personal thing, nothing bums me out more than when I follow someone I think highly of, and all they do is try to sell you stuff or promote stuff… And I’ll post when I have a show in different places, but I don’t want to bombard people with that administrative stuff. TBS: So where can people buy shirts and records and stuff? Owen: You can pretty much find everything at polyvinylrecords.com!

the big three

entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.

it’s always sunny in philadelphia thursday, october 18 at 10pm on fx

Season 8’s second episode features Frank (Danny DeVito) concocting a plan to undercut Philly’s tough garbage men’s union so he can get the contract to collect the city’s trash. This may be a worse get-rich-quick scheme than the kitten mittens in season 5, but we’re damn excited to see how it’s not going to work out.

paranormal activity 4 in theaters october 19

The 4th installment of the popular film franchise follows a teenage narrator Alice (Kathryn Newton) and her family. They get some mad creeps when Katie and Hunter (of PA: 2 fame) move in next door. When creepy Katie goes to the hospital, Alice’s mother takes Hunter into the house, where shit predictably goes down in a terrifying way.

Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, M.a.a.d. City in stores october 23

Compton-raised Kendrick Lamar may have a slew of wellreceived mixtapes and EPs under his belt, but his first major label record is the icing on the cake for the up-and-coming hip-hop artist. Collaborating with industry legends like Pharrell and Dr. Dre, Lamar’s much-anticipated album will discuss his life in the infamous city of Compton. Did you know a crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube lives there?


the quiz: what kind of trick-or-treater were you?

9-14 Points: The Kid Who Didn’t Dress Up

Every October 31st, people, normally kids, dress up and walk around collecting candy from strangers and neighbors because, well, America rules. But not every punk-ass kitty or pro-basketball player always played nice. Take our quiz to find out what kind of kid you were when you trick or treated back in the day.

8) Did you ever trade your candy? a) Not really. b) I always talked kids into giving me their Snickers for a stupid Tootsie Roll. c) Oh yeah! That was half the fun at the end of the night!

6) What did you use to collect your candy? a) The biggest pillowcase I could find! b) Eh, my pockets and… stuff. c) This lame bag my mom sewed for me.

9) On November 1st you see an elderly man cleaning up toilet paper in his lawn. How do you respond? a) I totally help to clean up. b) It’s not my problem, so I don’t care. c) I just giggle.

7) a=3, b=1, c=2 8) a=1, b=2, c=3

9) a=3, b=1, c=2

answer key

5) Who would you go trick-ortreating with? a) Just a few trustworthy friends... b) All sorts of kids from my group of friends and the neighborhood. c) A bunch of lame neighborhood kids.

Meet The Staff campus manager Cutler Sheridan Editorial manager Cutler Sheridan Advertising Managers Megan Thompson Sibonee Latty Writers Riley Humes, Jess Wise Katherine Weimer, Wes Allen Alex Edelstein, Sarra Sedghi photographer You? Come on... distribution manager Sierra Moore pr/Marketing TEAM Sierra Moore

5) a=2, b=3, c=1 6) a=3, b=2, c=1

3) What was your go-to last minute costume as a child? a) I’d just throw on a mask. b) A sports fan. c) I was always prepared and I never had some half-assed costume.

7) How would you respond to the old lady who handed out nickels? a) Aww, I thought it was still so sweet of her. b) I was like, “Whatever, can I leave yet?” c) I liked them, it made for great ammo.

3) a=2, b=1, c=3 4) a=1, b=3, c=2

2) How far in advanced would you plan your costume? a) I’d start brainstorming in July and have a solid plan by September. b) A few days before, but then change my mind at the last minute. c) Like 10 minutes before I went out.

4) Did you ever do anything naughty on Devil’s Night? a) Nah, I’d be playing video games inside. b) No way, I’d be putting the final sequins on my costume. c) Smashing pumpkins was more than just a band name, after all.

1) a=1, b=3, c=2 2) a=3, b=2, c=1

1) What was your favorite part about Halloween as a child? a) School that day was a huuuuge joke. b) Everything!!! c) That pranking people was socially acceptable.

You cynical bastard. You were either too cool to care about a costume, or you really just had no desire to get off the couch for a few hours to gather free candy. When your parents forced you out, you barely threw a sheet over your head and shrieked “Boo!” to the smiling little old lady who still put a Bit-O-Honey in your basket. Today you spend a lot of time smoking weed on the couch, and have strong feelings about the election.

15-21 Points: The Kid Who Tricked

An immature prick of a kid, you thought candy was dandy but toilet papering and egging a house was a lot more rewarding. The folks who left out a bowl of candy and relied on the honesty of kids to take only one piece got screwed over by your punk-ass. And to top it all off, handfuls of kids went home crying because you stole their candy just because you could. Today you have at least one misdemeanor under your belt, and have never stayed faithful to a significant other.

22-27 Points: The Kid Who Was Too Old

Even when you were of an appropriate age, you had an enthusiasm about Halloween that wasn’t seen amongst other kids. As you got older, you didn’t really know when, or how, to stop trick-or-treating, and you didn’t think it was a big deal. Most parents didn’t like that you still took their mini-Musketeers every October 31st, but no one could deny your passion. Today you have a lot of underage friends, and really don’t think the dorms are that bad!

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Georgia Fall Issue 10 - 10/18/12