The Black Sheep
FR FRI EE...LI DAY KE H .W H O O W YO WA N TS U A R E TO P THIS A RT Y?
Vol. 6, Issue 1
THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
2/13/14 - 2/26/14
SORORITY GIRL FINDS UNLIKELY
ROMANCE IN FRATERNITY BOY BY: SHANNON POULSEN Kelly Braun finally found love after three back-to-back single Valentine’s Day when she met Brandon Myer at Kildare’s last Friday. Braun, a member of a sorority at UD, followed her sisters’ advice to “open her heart” and “give a chance to the guys you normally wouldn’t,” which led to her acceptance of a drink from Myer.
in lonely girls willing to spend the night with brothers, but Myer has never “closed the deal” on V-Day.
“I knew that this guy was different. I normally don’t go for the pastel button-up and construction boot look, but Brandon used a unique pick-up line and made my heart flutter” said Braun.
Braun shared her excitement with her sisters, thanking them profusely for opening her eyes.
The brothers of Myer’s fraternity gave him advice as well before attending Kildare’s happy hour. “Girls are so vulnerable during the Valentine’s season -- you know the, like, two weeks before when Walgreens starts advertising chocolate sales. It’s like, show up with a box and Automatic lay. I told Brandon to be suave, buy a girl a drink with fruit, and say some line about love at first sight. Obviously it worked, so yeah, I’ve got this down” said fraternity brother Kevin Times. With further investigation into Myer’s motive to pair up for the upcoming Valentine’s Day, we asked Times a few questions about Myer’s past V-Days. According to Times’ memory, Myer spent the past two Valentine’s Days at UD trying to hook up with chicks at the fraternity house. These special parties are arranged to pull
“I bet he doesn’t want to look like a loser anymore, so he’s with Kelly. And I mean, it’s not a bad thing. She’s pretty hot” said Times.
“We have such cute plans for V-Day! First, we’re gonna go to IHOP and get the buyone get-one deal with pancakes. Isn’t that so quirky and fun? Like everyone else will be going to Sante Fe or something but no, we’re doing IHOP! Afterwards, we’re gonna get drinks at Kate’s. We met at Kildare’s, so to go to a new bar is like, breaking new ground. Post-bars we’ll see what happens, but I have a good feeling on some romantic surprise happening” shared Braun. After repeatedly attempting to contact Myer about the plans, he finally responded that currently no romantic surprise is planned. Myer recently wrote in a Facebook post set to “public” that she is “happy to be spending time with someone again.” She further mentioned in the comments that she enjoys “going out in a non-party setting” with “someone.” She failed to mention any specific characteristics of Braun.
After even more contact attempts, Myer agreed to an interview. “I like her, man. She’s pretty cool. I think her hair is pretty nice and her communication interest major is interesting,” said Braun. “A defining characteristic? Well her UGG boots are sparkly so I can always find her in a crowd, as long as I can see everyone’s feet.”
In the new romance exists room for personal and Greek-life growth. Braun will attend her first “real fraternity party,” forgetting that she has, indeed, been to plenty before. She additionally will go to Myer’s fraternity house, where he currently resides, and use the bathroom real quick. Myer will get a glimpse into sorority jealousy as Braun explains her single
friends’ sad stories over dinner, repeating how she is so happy to be with someone. In the end, they will both benefit from this unusual pairing. “I’m so glad this is working out. Who knew that I could find someone as unique as me in a crowded bar full of average people? It feels good to be together. Established February 7th 2013, heart.”
PAGE 4 VALENTINE’S DAY? MORE LIKE PALENTINE’S DAY!
PAGE 12 HARKER’S VALENTINE’S DAY PLANS LEAKED
PAGE 13 FRATERNITY EXPERIMENTS WITH NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER
FOLLOW JOE ON HIS JOURNEY TO BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE.
CHECK OUT HOW PREZ LOVE DOCTOR GETS IT ON!
THE RESULTS WILL STILL YOU WASTED.
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