Vol. 4, Issue 6
The Black Sheep THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
ON FREE THE ... L DAY IKE TON JUM BAN PING DW AGO N.
3/27/14 - 4/9/14
PRESIDENT CLEMENTS GETS BEHIND CONTENTIOUS “YAKS” HASHTAGSRAT WROTE THIS
Clemson’s newest social media obsession has students talking, and with an unlikely voice behind all of it. Yik Yak, an app created and designed by two Furman nerds, allows users to post anonymous messages about anyone or anything, with the only clue to their identity being a location tag on their message, or Yak. It essentially functions as an anonymous Twitter feed, except with a remarkable amount of messages about “crop-dusting” certain classrooms and dining halls. A huge portion of Yaks submitted, naturally, shit-talk a certain three fraternities, with pretty much all of the messages debating each individual fraternity’s sexuality. While it was implicitly assumed that other fraternity men were behind the majority of the shit-talking, an unlikely culprit has come forward, claiming to have sent in masses of Yaks about Greek life—our new University President, Jim Clements. Seemingly frustrated by Clemson’s sassy response to a lone snowy day during which classes were not canceled, Clements sought his revenge by wreaking havoc upon the Greek social scene, submitting incendiary message after incendiary message to stir up animosity between the groups. The content of Clements’ messages vary. They range from being harmless jabs, such as accusations that individual members wear Crocs to weirdly classist, yet sexual burns Yaks wondering if the fraternity as a whole mandates that members wear their Barbours and duck boots at all times, and especially when they have sex. Yes, because of Clements, Yik Yak has become a fraternity Burn Book. However, Yik Yak’s reach has not remained exclusively online. As Mahatma Gandhi so eloquently said about his conception of civil disobedience, “Talk shit, get hit.” As one might imagine, huge fights have broken out at all sorts of fraternity parties,
PAGE 4 FOR THE LOVE OF FOOD
WE TAKE A STAND ON THE BEAUTY OF CHOWING DOWN.
bars, and on-campus venues as the aforementioned fraternities desperately throw punches to disprove the rumors and to maintain their masculinity. And, as is the tendency of guys trying to maintain their sense of masculine pride, many of these fights have just gone too far; amid shouts of “Our pledge season IS hard, you douchebags,” and “We wear our Barbours all the time, because we’re not POOR,” girls have ended up getting punched in the face, and pledges have ended up soiling themselves in fear. With his submitted Yak count reaching 2,000, Clements admitted in an official statement to the Clemson community that he has become addicted to the attention he received on Yik Yak. “Honestly, I just wanted to give students a taste of their own medicine, but when I saw how many up-votes I got over an allegation that one fraternity drinks O’Douls at all of their parties, I became a Yakking monster. My days became consumed with crafting new, emasculating Yaks about Clemson fraternities; the rush from getting an upvote was unparalleled, and it was hilarious to see the fallout from the Yaks as well.” After being admonished by other members of the administration, Clements hedged his statement, noting, “I understand that using Yik Yak as a means of entertaining oneself is not the most mature thing to do, and I do apologize. I now urge students to follow my lead and delete the app; it has caused nothing but bad blood, and as members of the Clemson family, I think we should rally around more positive forms of communication.” When asked if he actually meant what he said on Yik Yak, Clements stated, “Honestly, I didn’t really mean any of it—I just wanted to sock it to the kids who were rude on Twitter, and have a little fun. Except for the sexual hazing stuff—as if I could make that shit up.”
PAGE 6 TOP 10: PLACES TO KILL TIME IN CLEMSON
PAGE 7 TACO BELL MENU FLOPS: PAST AND PRESENT
VENTURE TO THE FORGOTTEN BEACH IF YOU’RE FEELING RISKY.
HEY, ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY, AND NEITHER WAS TACO BELL’S PERFECTION.
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