Clemson - Issue 1 - 1/8/2015

Volume 8

The Black Sheep

Fre e tha ! Like nk y lun ou h ch fo olid r on ay g e we ift c ek, ard s!

The College Newspaper That's Actually About College

Issue 1

THE EIGHT STAGES

OF FINDING YOUR OFF-CAMPUS APARTMENT Hannah Soblo wrote this

A real apartment: it has been you dream ever since the novelty of Manning wore off your freshman year (that being about three days after your arrival at Clemson).

With a real apartment as your home base, everything will be perfect. You and your roomies will bake delicious, healthy vegetarian cuisine together. You will ride your bikes to campus in a glorious, eco-friendly convoy along with your sexy and smart independent-of-their-parents boyfriends.

As the great Walt Disney told us, “if you can dream it, you can do it,” and oh man, can you dream it. What follows is reality.

January 5th: Explosion Your housing discussion did not go as planned. Your clingy roommate is locked in her room with hurt feelings, the A-type one has blown up at everyone because there’s only one UV Townhouse left, and the lazy one walks in and says, “What, you meant this week we were deciding?” How could you ever have thought rooming with these people was a good idea?

January 7th: Mom Therapy It is now the time where “talking to my mom” has become synonymous with “I’m losing it and I need to get away from you people for a while.” Not only are you and your roommates fighting, now your moms are starting to post inappropriate snipes on each other’s Facebook walls.

9a.m. January 8th: Onwards No one is talking to each other, but those off-campus apartments are being snagged left and right, so you know that the show

must go on. It all falls to you—yes, you, the only responsible individual here, really— to make the calls. Your new best friend is Juan the Realtor. You haven’t met him yet, but he sure sounds good over the phone.

11a.m. January 9th: Visitation What was supposed to be a beautiful day with Juan turns into a nightmare when the welcome center is filled with other people’s parents, securing prime real estate for their clearly helpless offspring—what ever happened to independence? And more importantly, how are you supposed to compete with people who’ve been on the housing market for thirty-plus years?

5:30p.m. January 9th: Addiction Your boyfriend accuses you of skipping your usual Thirsty Thursday date to talk with Juan, and you can’t really deny that.

You and Juan have something special: the last University Village Townhome is still up for grabs, and Juan will save it for you. Juan is always there, 24 hours a day, and he always returns your calls—unlike a certain someone.

7:23a.m. January 10th: Despair That new iPhone 6 that you got for Christmas, the only connection to the wider world, to Juan, to your mom therapist, has just bent nearly in half all because you sat on it wrong. Practically snapped in half just like the Pop-Tart it resembles. Now everything is ruined—someone else has probably stolen Juan and the townhome from you, and none of your roommates those soulless bastards seem to care.

8:47a.m. January 10th: Ultimate Despair The sacrifice of your iPhone Pop-Tart has not been in vain, because now at least your roommates appreciate all the work you’ve done and have agreed to come with you to University Village. Surely, Juan will convince them that Townhome B is the

perfect fit for everyone and that it is critical that you sign a lease before any horrible helicopter parents sign it before you.

9:02a.m. January 10th: Clinical Depression The townhome is lost. You raced to University Village only to meet Juan on the

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

THREE CHEAP DATES FOR THE ROMANCE GREATS

WHICH FIKE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONARY ARE YOU?

SNAG A S/O JUST IN TIME TO HAVE A DRAMATIC BREAK-UP BY VALENTINE’S DAY.

GOOD LUCK WITH THE LIFESTYLE CHANGE, BUB.

way out, some dumb kid’s parents having just obtained the last townhome for him and his lowlife friends. Your roommates have scattered after your perfectly reasonable rage attack. Oh, well. As that weird barefoot kid in your fiction class tells you, all housing troubles can be fixed with an old van, a sleeping bag and a power saw.

PAGES 10-11 RESOLUTION REVOLUTION WE SCROUNGED UP 7 APPS TO HELP MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON IN 2015.

FOLLOW US @BLACKSHEEP_CLEM JANUARY 8th, 2015 - JANUARY 21st, 2015 THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

MEET the STAFF CAMPUS MANAGER Rebecka Talley EDITORIAL MANAGER Courtney Paul ADVERTISING MANAGERS Mark Calvin Brackin Julie Socolow WRITERS Joey Glass, Dan Collins Austin Cope, Hannah Soblo SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Courtney Merlo DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Beaver

CAMPUS DIRECTOR Brendan Bonham OWNER Atish Doshi FOUNDERS Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather-Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Quinn Myers QUESTIONS? info@theblacksheeponline.com ADVERTISING? ads@theblacksheeponline.com

OWNED & OPERATED BY: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Avenue Suite 1, Chicago, Illinois 60622 Contact Corporate: 217.390.1747 For Advertising: 608.712.0900

DISCLAIMER: The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking.

This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication.

Please drink...responsibly and legally.

FOLLOW US! @BLACKSHEEP_CLEM THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

(864) 477-9207 (864) 477-9213 LEASING OFFICE 1103-1 TIGER BOULEVARD CLEMSON, SC 29631

Welcome to Page Three! You are about to have more fun than a freshman at a frat party. Tweet us your answers, or send them to page3@theblacksheeponline.com. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!

PAGE THREE THE BLACK SHEEP’S LEGENDARY

WORD OF THE WEEK

80s CARTOON CHARACTER PORN STAR NAME?

BLUE BALLIN’ Getting a mad case of blue balls after hooking up with a hot chick, but still feeling awesome about getting to second base.

TARA BOUMDEAY

Dude, Anna is so hot. Yeah, I was blue ballin’ afterwards, but at least I got some action. High-five!

CAN YOU GUESS THE CELEBRITY BACK?

THE BATHROOM GRAFFITI CUTOUT Know of a bathroom stall that needs some pizazz?

Cut this out, stick in a bathroom stall, snap a pic and #Sheepffiti and we’ll send you a prize!

@BLACKSHEEP_CLEM

PAGE 4 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

CURRENT EVENTS

Spring Semester Freshman Disappointed By Lack of Introductory Events Dan Collins wrote this

Kevin Garland, an incoming freshman, couldn’t have been happier to be attending Clemson University this spring. He was so excited that he decided to shave his pubes into the shape of a tiger paw and painted his face for the Russell Athletic Bowl, even though he watched it at home by himself, as he did not yet know anyone who attended Clemson.

This excitement was short lived, however, as when Garland arrived to campus, he was shocked to not receive the pomp or circumstance new students who start in the fall are privy to.

“I spent all of summer and the fall traveling around Europe as a reward from my parents for heroically graduating high school,” said Garland. “So I didn’t get to start school in the fall like everyone else. And even though I know there are far fewer new students in the spring, I was still hoping for the school to accommodate us newcomers in some way. I wasn’t necessarily expecting a parade in my honor, but yeah, that would have been nice.”

Garland, of course, is speaking on the lack of specialized new-student activities such as a speech from the author of the summer reading book, lunch with President Barker, or an excuse to show up fifteen

minutes late to class the whole first week because you don’t know where anything is; all of which are available to incoming students in the fall.

“A lot of people I’ve talked to have said they met their best friends throughout college in the first couple weeks,” said Garland. “And I can only assume these people are meeting exclusively through the activities and interventions of the school. If I’m paying $30,000 a year to go here, I feel that it’s Clemson’s job to find friends for me.” Garland reportedly never considered simply leaving his dorm room open or striking up a conversation with a fellow student at Harcombe.

“I even thought about joining a club, but without Tiger Prowl to show me all of my options, how was I supposed to pick one? It’s not like there’s a place I could go where it would list them all, or a supermachine where I could search an activity I like to do and see if Clemson has it.”

Garland, who is clearly unaware of the barrage of unwanted emails that ensue from a trip to Tiger Prowl, remains at a loss. He has yet to make a single good friend at Clemson and is already thinking about transferring schools next fall, where he expects to given a hero’s welcome. But before he does, he

plans to change Clemson for the better by trying to institute more new student activities for spring students. “I don’t know exactly what I want or what I plan to do about it, I just know that daddy dearest is going to hear about the injustice that has been done to me by this school.”

So, if you see Kevin Garland around campus anytime soon, say hello to him. Remember that he sounds incredibly rich, so he’ll probably take you on a cool trip, or at least be willing to buy most of your drinks at the bar. And if not, make sure to wish him well at his new school, probably UVA, where his money will take his reputation further than his personality ever could.

Your Fast, Fresh & Original Neighborhood Deli

Welcome Back, Tigers!

Clemson

Easley

Greenville

Spartanburg

104 Finley St.reet Clemson, SC 29631-1532

6101-I Calhoun Mem. Hwy Easley, SC 29640

20 E. Coffee Street Downtown Greenville, SC

100 E. Main St.reet Spartanburg, SC 29306

864-653-7764

864-855-1289

864-552-1541

864-582-2662

TIGERS

TOGO.COM

Check Us Out Online at Grouchos.com

Austin Cope wrote this

But, you can’t take that fine Lady Tiger on just any date if you want to really rope her in, even if money is an obstacle for any college student, especially after a holiday full of presents you bought yourself. So with that in mind, here’s the first three knock-outs you need to take your new lady to in order to kick off that New Year’s relationship right.

First up is Dollar Slice Night at Todaro’s on Wednesdays. It could be busy, but it’s good pizza and a great place to take the one you like, assuming that one likes pizza and isn’t some kind of mutant who is allergic to flour, cheese and tomatoes. If they don’t like pizza, maybe they like deals and will appreciate your bargain-hunting in all its glory; if they don’t like either, you don’t have anything in common anyway and it’s time to cut ties. In order to escape the aforementioned crowd that will inevitably form inside, take your pizza with you on a nice walk downtown, which could be peaceful, as long as there are no mixers or band performances. Heck, it could even be a little romantic. You might use this moment to make your move under the cover of darkness—subtlety and subterfuge are the keys to any good romance.

If this doesn’t work for you or your move doesn’t work on her—just be a gentleman next time—try taking your loved one to the reflection pond for a nice swim. Even if it’s during the day, no one ever uses it, so you can have the whole thing to yourself. It’s some straight-from-the-moves level romance, right there. Sure, there are onlookers, but you’re no prude. Plus, your date might be into it, and this whole thing is really all about them, so respect their wishes and take them on a public naked midnight swim with some planted gawkers.

After two absolutely knockout date ideas you need just one more to seal the deal. Thus, Trivia Night at TTT’s. There’s even free music. Just make it very clear at the start that your date won’t be receiving any food or drinks unless you win that prize money. Then, at the end of the night, take the CatBus home and tell your date to find their own way back because winners don’t waste gas money—it’s perfect. Who wouldn’t feel weak at the knees, and totally ok with hitchhiking, after seeing their date master bar trivia, unless you’re a cheater who used their phone. Those people can die single for all we care.

After three dates you’ve certainly sealed the deal or are so terrible at dating there is no helping you.

Although there weren’t really any dating tips here on how to act, or any tips on getting the dates to start with, we have faith. Or maybe that should’ve been discussed instead. Happy dating, you perverts!

Now Leasing for Fall 2015 Call Us Today! 864.639.2209 100 Cross Creek Court, Central, SC

LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME? The Summit at Cross Creek is the place for you!

We offer comfortable and relaxing housing with a private community atmosphere that is second to none.

Come by for a tour today! thesummitatcrosscreek.com • Find us on Facebook! SummitatCrossCreekApts Follow us on Twitter: @summitatclemson • Follow us on Instagram: @thesummitatcrosscreek Check us out on the App Store and Google Play: The Summit at Cross Creek • Text “SUMMIT” to 47464 for more information

PAGE 5 • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM

Three Cheap Dates for the Romance Greats

It’s that time of the year when you’re headed back to class, promising yourself you’ll fulfill your New Year’s resolutions. We’re not here to help you lose weight, we all know that’s a fool’s errand, but we can help you ask out that cute girl in your class. You’re not going to silently watch another one pass you by. Nope, not you!

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU

THE TOP TEN NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS NO ONE WILL KEEP

10.) Dress Warmer: It’s cold here in Clemson—well, comparatively. Time to bundle up in that hooded sweatshirt that everyone else seems to be wearing. Yet...your cleavage looks so good in this shirt maybe you’ll wait to take your summer clothes home. Beauty is pain, after all.

9.) Don’t Skip Class: You have one 8 a.m. this semester, nothing too bad. Setting an alarm for 7:30 gives you ample time to not give a shit and make it to class. You can always take a nap after class. Oh, oops, your alarm was set for 7:30 p.m. How...unfortunate?

8.) Complete all the Homework: This is the semester you need to buckle down. No matter how long the paper, or how long the reading excerpt, you will keep up your GPA by doing all your homework! So, create some lists once you’re done with your weekend party, cuz this semester, you’re gonna rock it.

Which Fike New Year’s

7.) Avoid the All-You-Can-Eat: Sometimes eating on campus is the best option. But, with the terrible options on campus, it’s hard to decide where to eat to maintain the new health kick. Avoiding Schilletter gives you the option to avoid the shit-tons of carbs that they stuff in you. Then again, you’ll get your money’s worth so, why the hell not?

Resolutionary are You? Clemson Staff wrote this

January is the month of a brand new year, a brand new semester, and thus, of course, the plentiful New Year’s Resolutions. Perhaps the most apparent resolutions in Clemson take place at our beloved Fike Recreation Center. No one should ever be embarrassed to start adding Fike to the daily grind. However, the Fike newcomers can be categorized into three main groups: New Age Schwarzeneggers, Determined Spring Breakers, and Lifestyle Change Seekers. Which are you?

The New Age Schwarzeneggers: January is the month that normal sculpted people plan to transform their bodies into those of Greek Gods.

This group is typically the “new year, new me” type people, but they expect results much quicker.

Sorry, pal, but you will not look like the Gym Shark

by Day 10, the man with the large tree tattooed on his back (or simply known as TreeBack) by Day 20, or the great Arnold himself by January 31st.

Girls, while running a few miles per week will certainly make you healthier, you will not exceed your high school cross-country physical condition in a month. Even if you stick to a well-developed routine, you may have a hard time following it when you notice that Fike in January is like the Larry’s parking lot on Saturday home games in October.

The Determined Spring Breakers: Good news: spring break is only two months away! Bad news: the concentration of Fike will triple as a result of this. Panama City Beach may only be a seven-hour drive away, but looking like a model will take much more than seven hours of work. Staying at a beach house with ten fraternity brothers will be pretty cool, but walking into Fike with those ten guys is not cool at all. From overcrowding the benches to waiting in lines for the treadmill

(why don’t you just run around Perimeter Road?!), those trying to get that picture-perfect body will be a new species found in Fike for the first half of this semester… or for the first two weeks of the semester. If you want to be as strong as Vic Beasley or have the body of one of the girls on our volleyball team by March, you might be just a little late. Save yourself the effort and continue to procrastinate schoolwork by watching Netflix.

The Lifestyle Change Seekers: There are, in fact, a few rare realists who understand that they cannot become jacked in a few weeks or become chiseled in time for spring break. This group of Fike attendees wants change in their life and have decided exercise is the way to go. The students here span from a freshman still trying to find his/ her clique to a senior who has decided that killing a six pack of beer every weekday afternoon is not the way to obtain six pack abs. Remember the guy on the high school basketball team who would’ve won the league championship if it weren’t for the stupid referees? When there’s finally room for him on the court, he’ll be out there like K.J. McDaniels, minus the boisterous shot-blocking plays and thunderous put-back dunks. Above the pit, it’s the girl sweating Franzia from the night before on the treadmill. Fike is one of Clemson’s most useful facilities, but starting during the New Year is awfully tough for this group.

January is the national month of declaring reasons to get back into the weight and cardio rooms, leading to different breeds of gym-goers in all workout facilities. Undoubtedly, the New Year Resolution-aries will be in full swing at Fike Recreation Center, and we wish them the best of luck. We’ll see you back on the couch when you’re finished.

6.) Make New Friends: The time has come to escape your habitat, the room in which you hid your first semester. Whether it’s hanging out in your dorm lobby to interact with those really loud, annoying people that kept you up every night, or leaving your apartment to go to the party next door that seems to be bumpin’, it’s time to finally be social.

5.) Become Fiscally Responsible: It’s time to be responsible and save your money for rent, groceries, and textbooks. You go shopping with your friends and they convince you to buy three new pairs of jeans that they thought were “oh so cute.” You did say you wanted to be more social this year…

4.) Cut Back on the Booze: Alright, first semester was party time. Your liver is aching from drinking on the weekends, and you’re worrying about the possibility of alcoholism, so it’s time to stop. After the beginning of the semester party festivities, though.

3.) No More Netflix: It’s time to stop watching shows and movies that you’ve found after digging through the good ones, and focus on this semester. But only a little bit, after you finish the second season of Orange is the New Black.

2.) Go to Fike: You have a free pass to the gym, so why not put it to the test? You’re not that out of shape, just a little pudge from all that turkey and stuffing, nothing a few days at the gym can’t handle. But, the gym is such a far walk, and it’s getting cold. Along with that, running hurts, lifting hurts, rowing hurts, everything hurts. Why torture yourself when you can curl up in bed?

1.) Stop Mooching Off Your Parents: You’re a grown adult now. From this day forward, you’re going to be a self-sufficient, responsible adult with no more ties to Mom and Dad. Until you need a little extra cash to buy books or that new game everyone has been talking about. But hey, they’re your parents. It’s their job to take care of you.

Black Sheep Staff wrote this

PARTY PICS

TWEET US YOUR #PARTYPICS!

or send them to pics@theblacksheeponline.com

ON THE STREETS What was your New Year’s resolution, and when will you break it?

CHRISTINA, JUNIOR “I haven’t even thought of it…”

BRITTANY, JUNIOR “To be healthier; hopefully never!”

ELLIE, SENIOR “To go to all of my classes; as soon as I oversleep.”

07

- 50% OFF SELECT ITEMS -

fall & winter clearance 864-224-8839 // 112 Station Drive // Anderson, SC 29621 // PlatosClosetAnderson.com

THE GRID SPECIAL NIGHT

FRIDAY! $6 Liquor Pitchers (During Happy Hour Only) $1.50 Mystery Beers, DJ Sha!

THURSDAY

$3.56 Sushi Rolls, Wine Tasting at 9pm, $6 Bottles of Champagne

FRIDAY

$9.50 Liquor Pitchers Monday - Saturday!

Burger and a Beer Night!

$7.75 Backstreets Burgers or $8.75 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers, Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

$2.50 Fireball Shots $6 Liquor Pitchers Happy Hour Monday - Friday: (During Happy Hour Only) $4.75 PBR Pitchers, $1.50 Mystery Beers, DJ Sha! $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

$3 Well Drinks Every Day!

Happy Hour 4pm-7pm Mon - Fri $4 Jager, $3 Fireball $5 Jack Daniels, 1/2 Price Apps

Trivia at 8pm!

1st place gets $25 cash and $25 gift card

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm

$3 Well Drinks Every Day!

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm

SATURDAY

Join us for flatbread specials and college football!

$2.50 Fireball Shots $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

College Football on 20 HD TVs

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft, $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles $13.99 All You Can Eat Wings (excl. home games)

SUNDAY

Closed

Service Industry Night! $5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers & random specials

NFL Sunday Ticket on 20 HD TVs

Book your next party at Larry’s!

MONDAY

All You Can Eat Sushi

Half price appetizers $8 for a Dozen Wings, $1 PBR $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

Burger Mondays! $4.99 Burger & Fries

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft, $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles $13.99 All You Can Eat Wings During MNF

TUESDAY

Follow us on Twitter! @CUHangover

$5.75 Large Pizza, $1 PBR $5 Bud Light Pitchers Happy Hour Monday - Friday: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

Taco Tuesday! $4.99 Taco Backets, $1 12oz Blue Moons

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm

WEDNESDAY

Check us out on Instagram! @356Sushi

Yeungs and Wings! $5 Yeungling Pitchers, $1 PBR $6.75 for a Dozen Wings Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

$9.99 Pizza, $0.60 wings, $0.50 12oz PBR

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm

THURSDAY

$3.56 Sushi Rolls, Wine Tasting at 9pm, $6 Bottles of Champagne

Trivia at 8pm!

1st place gets $25 cash and $25 gift card

$1.50 12oz Budlight Draft $4 Long Islands and Blue Motorcycles Happy Hour 4-7pm

Burger and a Beer Night!

$7.75 Backstreets Burgers or $8.75 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers, Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $9.50 Liquor Pitchers

FOLLOW US ON

Twitter

@BLACKSHEEP_CLEM

OVERTIME PALMETTO’S Smokehouse & Oyster Bar

THE GRID

THURSDAYS Overtime Trivia, 9pm Win $100 Bar Tab!

Tuesday & Saturday: LOW COUNTRY BOIL NIGHT! Get low with PSHOB’s famous low country boil recipe.

FRIDAY! 24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer for $14.99

Wednesdays: Trivia @ 10pm!

TUESDAY $4 Burgers!

SPECIAL NIGHT

Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap!

Need a PARTY SPOT? Rent Palmetto’s EVENT Center Call 864-810-7339 ext 3 and get $50 off your next rental with the keyword “Black Sheep”

Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm

Go Tigers!

$6 House Liquor and Draft Beer Pitchers (4-8pm) DJ Sha!

THURS.

NEW! 6 under $6 lunch menu 24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer served 11:30am-2pm M-F. for $14.99

Service, Service, Service

$6 Chef’s Special

FRIDAY

$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers

$0.50 Wings All Day!

Your Tigers Headquarters!

College football on our 101 inch projector!

SATURDAY

Open 7 Days a Week at 6PM

Open 8am for our NEW BIG EASY BRUNCH! From 8am - 2pm $10 Bottomless Mimosas Low Country Boil 5PM Follow us on Twitter!

NFL Sunday Ticket! Sunday App. Specials! Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap $7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne, $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers

Open 8am for our NEW BIG EASY BRUNCH! Try the best hangover cure: Big-n-nasty biscuit, frittatas, wraps, omelettes, creamy grits, beignets, and waffles! Catch Bill’s NFL Action Here Go Sammy & CJ!

Follow us on Twitter! @TDsFoodAndDrink

Visit the Top of Tiger Town Tavern’s Private Club!

Follow us on Twitter to hear about daily specials! @CUWings

SUNDAY

Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap! $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers

Clemson’s best place to take a date!

Try the “Haystack”, a totally sharable mound of fries or fritos covered in deliciousness!

Oyster Fest & Shrimp Jam Every Monday Starting at 5!

All You Can Eat Wings!

Stiffest drinks in town!

Where the Big Tigers Play...

Check out our Instagram! @CUWinginIt

MONDAY

Yup, Still Private! $7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne

LOW COUNTRY BOIL NIGHT! Get low with PSHOB’s famous low country boil recipe. Like us on Facebook for weekly specials and competitions.

Karaoke With Fred Rock

Bingo at 10pm!

$4 Burgers

TUESDAY

$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers

NEW! 6 under $6 lunch menu served 11:30am-2pm M-F. Say “You saw it in The Black Sheep” and get a FREE PSHOB Bumper sticker.

$1 Burger Night

Trivia at 10pm!

Buy 1/2 pounds of wings, get a 1/2 pound FREE!

WED.

Need a PARTY SPOT? Rent Palmetto’s EVENT Center Call 864-810-7339 ext 3 and get $50 off your next rental with the keyword “Black Sheep”

Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm

Stiffest drinks in town!

Where the Big Tigers Play...

$6 House Liquor and Draft Beer Pitchers (4-8pm) DJ Sha!

THURS.

Open 7 Days a Week: Backstreet at 11:30AM, Overtime (Backstreet Basement) at 6!)

$7.50 Bottles of White Wine & Champagne $5.50 32oz Liquor Pitchers Open 7 Days a Week at 6PM

Enjoy Our 20 Beers on Tap!

Open 7 Days a Week: Backstreet at 11:30AM, Overtime (Backstreet Basement) at 6!)

Who it’s For: Freshly-resolved drunks and those who lack the basic human skill of recognizing other humans based on their, you know, face. It’s called prosopagnosia, look it up.

What it Does: Organizes people in your phone based on how and when you met. So when you’re trying to track down those lazy shitheads in your group project you could search “English 301 group project” and those lazy shitheads would pop up.

You’ll Learn to Hate it When…: You search “Yacht Club” and 30 names pop up, leaving you nowhere near remembering who that sultry brunette was who bought you a Fireball shot -- but you sure as hell have met a lot of people you don’t remember there! Might as well stick with ol’ reliable “Name_Bar” in your phonebook and save the $0 this app costs for something else.

Who it’s For: Those of you who were “too cool” to take notes last semester and received bad ass Cs and Ds on your finals. You’re going to need a new approach, and since taking hand-written notes on an iPad is the opposite of cool, give this a shot.

What it Does: Takes your (digitally) hand-written notes and makes them all pretty-like, turning your serial killer-esque chicken scratch into legible font and all those graphs you draw into perfect, re-sizeable shapes.

You’ll Learn to Hate it When: Come test-time, all those mindless doodles and dicks you drew look just as official as the actual notes.

Is that a sketch of the Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima statue or four penises laying on top of each other? Let’s not forget that everyone will hate you for writing notes by hand on an iPad, and hopefully that hate will turn into self-hatred.

Who it’s For: To-be-graduating seniors who, for whatever reason, have yet to find post-graduation employment. Whether it’s because you’re finally snagging that bomb degree in unified philosophy or simply because you’re a lazy piece of human garbage who hasn’t started looking yet, you’ll need all the help you can get.

What it Does: Aggregates job postings from major websites and company postings. Also, shows jobs based on geography. Work smarter, not harder, you know? Hey, use that in the job interview!

You’ll Learn to Hate it When: You slowly come to realize Indeed is little more than an efficient way for you to pile up the rejection letters. Hey, how much more in student loans would you need to pursue another bachelor’s degree?

Who it’s For: You, the modern-day lothario-on-the-go. This year you’ve resolved to have what kids call “the sex.” For, it is women that you will have, yes, many of them. 2015 is going to be the year you get laid many a time.

What it Does: Well, “CATE” is an acronym for “Call And Text Eraser,” so, it does that. Which, you know, if you meet a lucky lady at a party on Thursday, and then another lucky lady at a party on that Friday, then ANOTHER lucky lady getting coffee on Saturday morning, you can consider your player-ass self lucky that they’ll never have to know about each other, until...

You’ll Learn to Hate it When: ...One of your “many” sexual conquests also happens to have CATE. She’ll know what it does—she’s not an idiot, she’s playing the same game you’re playing-- and she’ll be more than happy to track down the other four women you’ve been trying to sleep with and let them know about your hijinx. Hey, porn is free, and you never have to ask it for forgiveness.

Who it’s For: 2014 was pretty good to you, mate, and in turn you want to do some good for the world. Well, then maybe get like Haley Joel Osment and pay that bitch forward.

What it Does: The app hits you up with suggestions about good deeds you can do locally. For example, you might get one that says, “Leave a copy of a really great book you read at a cafe for someone else to enjoy.” Hah, yeah, like people enjoy reading.

You’ll Learn to Hate it When: Suddenly you go to the ATM to snag a crisp $20 and you realize, then, in that moment, that suddenly you’re the one in need of a good deed because doing nice thing here and kind act there adds up, and now you’re destitute, cold, alone and charitable, which is no way to live your life.

Who It’s For: FATTIES LIKE YOU. What it Does: Ideal Weight lets you enter your data—height, weight, and the ilk—and in turn, it’ll give you your ideal BMI. Whether you’re underweight (yeah, right) overweight (ding, ding, ding!) or just right (no one loves you), you’ll know that, yes, in 2015 you’re going to kick some gym ass and take some gym names, like Jim. You’ll Learn to Hate It: Because what business, by god, does a stupid $5 app have telling you, a goddamn citizen of the United States of America, what you can and can’t shove in your motherlovin’ food-hole when you want to shove whatever it is you want in your goddamn American food-hole? Benjamin Franklin didn’t ward off the British in Denver all by himself to have a stupid robot tell you how to live your life. PIZZA AND REVOLUTION.

Who it’s For: Smokers, jokers, and midnight tokers.

What it Does: It helps you quit smoking. Pretty straightforward.

You’ll Learn to Hate it When: All the “stats”— meant to show you how long you’ve gone, how much money you’ve saved, etcetera—only remind you how much you miss smoking. It’s been 12 days, 5 hours and 32 seconds since you stood in the chilly New Year’s Eve air, just before midnight looking out from your friend’s balcony, chatting, and filling your lungs with that sweet, burning grey smoke. You’ll never have that social escape again. Oh you’ve saved $30? Think of all the cigs you could buy with $30… think of all the conversations and inside jokes that money has cost you… is it really worth it?

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN? 0 E t of 1 R SCO 6 ou

1) Politics: When is the next presidential election?

2) Candy: What candy’s current slogan is “try both and pick a side”?

3) History: What ancient Chinese general is thought to have authored the military masterwork The Art of War? 4) Music: What rapper is currently embroiled in a battle with Cash Money Records to get The Carter V released?

5) Cars: What make of cars features the 1-Series, 2-Series, 3-Series, and so on?

SAM, SENIOR

BARISTA AT COFFEE UNDERGROUND

a climbing route on Half Dome, found in what national park?

7) Beer: The Reinheitsgebot, or Beer Purity Law, dictates beer made in this country is only made from barley and hops.

8) North American Cities: With a population of more than 8.5 million, what is the only city on the North American continent larger than New York City?

9) Sports: Name two NFL head coaches that have been fired since the end of the 2014 regular season.

6) Clothing: The brand North Face is named after

10) TV: What The Simpsons character famously opined that the purple berries, “taste like burning.”

Sam’s Answers

Correct Answers

1) 2016 2) Twix 3) I don’t know 4) Lil Wayne 5) BMW 6) Yellowstone 7) Germany 8) Los Angeles 9) Mike Smith and Rex Ryan 10) The kid with the glasses and blue hair?

1) 2016 2) Twix 3) Sun Tzu 4) Lil Wayne 5) BMW 6) Yosemite 7) Germany 8) Mexico City 9) Marc Trestman, Rex Ryan, Mike Smith 10) Ralph Wiggum

THE BEST GLASS AND BODY PIERCINGS

clemson’s best mexican food!

SPEND $10

get $2 off

IN CLEMSON

buy 2 Terraburritos

get $3 off

open late tuesday, thursday and friday!

1062 Tiger Blvd. • Clemson, SC • (864) 654-8006

Follow us on Instagram | fb.com/ClemsonTheEdge 1393 Tiger Blvd. Suite #130 | (864) 653-4545

Resort Style Student Housing thepieratclemson.com • 864.654.7549 440 Edinburgh Way • Seneca, South Carolina

State-of-the-art clubhouse with large fitness center, lounge area, tanning beds, pool tables, and more!

Walking trails with panoramic views to our very own pier!

Private shuttle service to and from Campus Award-winning Luxury Pool, Outdoor Fire Pit Basketball Court and Sand Volleyball Court

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION

KEVIN HART

BEN AFFLECK

Can you believe that Kevin Hart and Ben Affleck are connected in 6 steps? It's so crazy! Do you know how? Tweet us your answers or send us the breakdown at classtime@theblacksheeponline.com.

If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!

Pregnant?

We Can Help!

Birthright of Clemson birthrightsc.com

• FREE • PREGNANCY TESTING 654-3377

CLUE BANK

TOP WORDS OF 2014 wordsearch Emoji • Hashtag • Vape • Blood Moon Nano • Photo Bomb • Caliphate • Privilege Bae • Bash Tag • Transparency •Sustainable Clickbait • Quindecennial • Comet

ANS WER KEY MMM...MMMM...

THAT IS A TASTY BURGER.

THURSDAY BURGER AND BEER NIGHT 100% ANGUS BEEF BURGER AND A BEER

ONLY $7.75!

• THURSDAY NIGHT TRIVIA @ 9pm •

Win a $100 Bar Tab!

PUB AND GRILL

OVERTIME - PRIVATE CLUB