Volume 1, Issue 5 | 11/10/11 - 11/30/11 | WWW.THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
The
Black Sheep
Fre
e.. fro.like e m h ve om ryt e d hin uri g y ng ou bre ’ll t ak! ak e
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
Down With The Lottery!
Alex R. wrote this
Virginia Tech in the fall is a college kid’s dream. Experiencing a nationally ranked football team, amazing competition, the thrill of the games and the traditions are what it’s all about. That’s why it’s such a royal bitch that half of the freshmen don’t even get a chance to attend these games, these staples of college life—and all because of the dreaded lottery system employed by this school. The lottery system at Tech is more fundamentally flawed than the Occupy Wall Street protests, and that’s saying something. First of all, neither Virginia Tech nor the lottery itself lets students know when the lottery is open for the next upcoming home game. Last time I looked in the mirror, I wasn’t Nostradamus, and the last time I looked in a crystal ball was…never, so it’d be just peachy if we could get an email notification of these events. The sign up dates have not been uniform at all this season, just take a look back at the lottery sign-up for the UNC Thursday night game—that one came almost 3 weeks in advance (as opposed to the normal 2 weeks), totally mindfucking everyone involved. Many students were so pissed that they missed the sign-up date for VT’s Orange Effect game that they just started pissing all over various pieces of public property on campus. The lottery’s website directly taunts you with their exclusivity, “This is your chance to be part of the action.” A chance? That’s it? This feels like middle school soccer tryouts all over again. What are they going to tell me next? That I can’t sit at the cool kids’ table unless I sign up, and even then will only be considered if I get rid of my horrible acne? And like acne medication, nothing is guaranteed with the lottery. For the lottery
Other stuff
Inside
04: time for a prank war
saran wrapping the toilet seat is so high school, here’s some fun, new tricks.
gamblers, East stands are as good as it gets because people want those damn South end tickets about as much as a sane person wants Michele Bachmann to become president. (Not at all). “The lottery ruined my life. The worst was when I won a ticket, but was never even sent the confirmation e-mail. That was a real slap in the face. A real dick slap in the face,” said freshman student, Woody Smalls. The lottery seems to be gaining even more enemies as the basketball season draws nearer. All students at Virginia Tech were able to enter the lottery for basketball season tickets, yet it seems that more than half the people who won tickets were the people who didn’t really give a shit about them in the first place. These entrepreneurs won the luck of the draw, and proceeded to sell their tickets for significantly more than they paid for them. Sly bastards. Virginia Tech really needs to give freshman students an opportunity to purchase season tickets like the rest of the student body. If the freshmen continue to be oppressed in this manner, there’s no doubt in my mind that a riot will ensue. Will we continue to piss all over Blacksburg? Will it escalate to something worse than piss? At this point in the juncture, it’s really just a waiting game. We wait and see if the university responds to our demands, or we wait to see how long it takes students to revolt against the current policies. ¡Viva la Revolución!
11: what your major really means just focus on looking good, it will get you farther in life
12/13: the black sheep interviews:
Double trouble with Mat Kearney and 12th Planet!