The Black Sheep
Hav Fre e a e...l gre ike at a bi su rd! mm er!
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 6 5/3/12 - 5/17/12
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheep_OM
Surviving Finals Week ryanne wrote this
The hard part of finals week isn’t actually studying for finals. No, everyone comes to terms with studying in a different way, but they do come to terms. Some students fret over finals week like it’s the end of the world, taking in a torrential downpour of information before passing out, exhausted. Others drink far too much caffeine, pop way too much Addy, and make complete jackasses of themselves. Some spend every waking moment in the library trying to learn an entire semester’s worth of material so they don’t fail and have to spend the rest of their lives in their parents’ basement. The worst part about finals is its uncanny effect on the student body. Kids that never went to class are going the week before to try to cram in all the info they’ve missed over the semester. Every class will be full. The library will be full. The parking lot will be full. You will have to walk really slowly on the sidewalk. It sucks. By now, you’re probably used to parking at a certain time and place, but don’t think you’re doing that this week. It’s like the first week of school all over again. Also, slackers beware. If you usually do your papers before class, think again. All of the computers will be full in the library, and don’t think you’re going to quickly print something off. You might find yourself walking in circles around the library praying one of the zoned-out people will eventually fall out their chair. You will definitely see some douche on Facebook looking at pictures of puppies, and it will enrage you to no end. However, please avoid smashing their face into the monitor, because you will go to jail and fail your finals. Check out Weir. We think most people forget it’s there sometimes. We definitely do. We know it’s damn near tradition to pop pills and drink tons of coffee during these time, but please don’t. Seriously. It’s not worth it. Half the student body will be at risk for sudden heart attack, it would be cool to not be amongst that group, right? Right. If you can’t pull an all-nighter without help, maybe you shouldn’t be pulling them. Besides, cramming isn’t all that effective. It’s
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best to study what you can, get some sleep, and review it in the morning. Yeah, yeah, we know we sound like your mom, but we don’t want to see you guys walking around with bags under your eyes like you may drop at any moment. Not a good look, and you know as well as us that summer is all about getting laid. And honestly, just calm the eff down, okay? If you’re getting stressed, take a walk. You have to take breaks. Yes, grades are important, but so is your health. You
The Summer Drinking Game Take a shot for just about any reason. see page 4
don’t want your eyeball to pop out from drinking 37 Red Bulls, do you? And you should probably save your illicit “party favors” for surviving three months at home, because your mom is going to nag a lot more than your jaded professor. If you’ve failed everything up until now, getting a "B" on your finals probably won’t save you, so there’s really no point. And you’ll do better if you can actually stay awake during the test. But what do we know.
Top Ten: Signs You've Been Oxford Too Long What Guys Expect From Porn even chicken on a stick has gotten boring. see page 6
keep the cinemax account, boys. see page 11