The Black Sheep
Fre e. wi ..like th th you e be r t er ax yo ret u bo urn ugh s. t
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 6, Issue 14 4/18/12 - 4/25/12
theblacksheeponline.com @MSUBlackSheep
How To: Smoke in the Dorms Cody Manthei wrote this
4/20: A day and time for people to get together and do what matters most: hydrate, and smoke a lot of weed. But there’s more to this holiday than eye irritation. The urge to play ultimate Frisbee, eat at McDonalds, and fall asleep pantsless in the grass somewhere is essentially uncontrollable. But if you live in the dorms, smoking pot on 4/20 may be a little risky. Like, “get busted and lose your financial aid” risky. But don’t fret; I’m here to tell you how to blaze from the comfort of your very own loftable furniture— without getting caught. The first thing you should do is size up your RA. After almost a year of living on the floor, I’m sure you’ve figured out whether your mentor is a douche, a pushover, or invisible. But even if you think you’re tight with them, figure out their stance on the ganj to make sure you can get away with sparking a jay in your living quarters. If you know that they’re okay with it, perhaps because you smoke with them on occasion, then feel free to say, “Fuck it!” and build a gravity bong in the hallway. If you’re not one of the lucky ones with a cool mentor, you’ll have to adjust those bong blueprints to fit a room. When looking for a room, find one with a good draft. The breeziest rooms are located at the end of any hallway. If neither you nor any of your friends live in one of these rooms, break into your neighbor’s place, smoke them out, and use that room instead. Once inside, don’t make the common mistake of putting a towel down at the base of the door. Leave the crack open so a draft from the hallway shoots through and out the open windows. A towel poking out from under the door is a dead giveaway. If you have to block it with something, use a yoga mat. “Should I use a fan too?” you might ask. First off, fuck you for interrupting me. Second, yes. Use a fan, and put some dryer sheets on the back of it to get your room smelling springtime-fresh. Placement is crucial. Put the fan smack-dab in the center of your room and face it towards the window. That way, the smoke won’t have the chance to be a dick and overstay its welcome.
Other stuff
Inside
The final step is the most important. Before you start smoking in your room, stink up the whole hallway. The only way to be sure your room isn’t singled out is to give the illusion that everyone in the entire dorm is smoking (Editor’s note: “Illusion”?) Light a blunt and carry it up and down your hall like a torch until the place smells like Snoop Dogg’s drug dealer’s Escalade. How useful are your drug dogs now, Mr. Policeman? After you got the place a-stankin’, you’re clear to take as many hits as you
hey, at least we're being honest. see page 4
desire. All 420 of them. Now that you’re equipped with the knowledge to smoke in your room, why stop there? Get a little creative and christen the community bathroom, hot box the elevator, bake special brownies in the floor kitchen or even hit the bong in the study lounge. Let’s get real; the nerds studying on 4/20 could use a little help relaxing…how lucky they are that you’re around. Enjoy your day, stoners!
oh neat, you're at applebee's again? see page 7
What We Really Mean in a Cover Letter "Photographers" on Instragram
and we all know "detroit" really means "the suburbs."
see page 10
Who You Are, Where You're From