Volume 1, Issue 3 | 11/10/11 - 11/30/11 | www.theblacksheeponline.com
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Black Sheep
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
The day I occupied Bloomington kyle hassett wrote this From the second that I agreed to do an article about the Occupy Bloomington movement that’s taking place in the middle of our fair campus, I knew that shit was about to get pretty weird. In retrospect, I had absolutely no way of knowing exactly how weird it was about to get. Going against my better judgment, as well as any regard for my personal safety, I grabbed my notebook and began my nervous trek to Occupy Bloomington headquarters: People’s Park. People’s Park is located smack-dab in the middle of Kirkwood, right across from Kilroy’s. Luckily for me, this meant that there would be a lot of witnesses around in the event that I was blindsided by an acoustic guitar or shanked with a pointy tree branch. These are the things that were running through my head as I made the descent to my destination. I had finally reached Kirkwood, and I could tell that I was drawing closer to my target because the sound of incoherent preaching accompanied by bongos was getting louder with every step that I took. And after I passed Potbelly’s, Occupy Bloomington revealed itself to me. I had seen on the news in the previous weeks all the stories about police attacks on protesters and pissed-off mobs of people with tons of banners and signs at Occupy Wall Street, so you can imagine my surprise when I saw
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the Bloomington version of these people…sitting around doing nothing. But that doesn’t mean that they weren’t super-intimidating and frightening. They all appeared as if they hadn’t bathed in weeks, which was probably the case for most. They didn’t waste any time enforcing the hippie stereotype either: at least two or three of them were strumming away on their guitars while others banged on their makeshift bongos. A lot of them had painted “99%” on the backs of their shirts. But perhaps the scariest thing of all was that at least half of them had their faces painted like skulls (later I found out that this was because they were celebrating The Day of the Dead, which made the situation even creepier). After quickly surveying the scene that I would soon be in the middle of, I realized that I was way too sober for this. So I half-sprinted across the street to Roy’s to take advantage of $2 Tuesday and take the edge off a little. I plopped myself down on a barstool and ordered a root beer Long Island. When I ordered my drink, the bartender gave me a strange look before he started to make it. Probably because it was about two in the afternoon on a Tuesday. When I told him where I was about to go, he cringed and poured an extra shot into my drink. He knew that I’d need it. In reality though, he probably just
04: Lying to Loved-Ones
It’s the secret to a successful Thanksgiving break.
wanted a bigger tip. I quickly downed my booze, and upon standing up, realized that it was finally time to take care of business. On my way out of Roy’s, I happened to notice three of the “Occupants” posted up at one of the benches in the outside area of the bar. “Good lord,” I thought to myself, “we’re all doomed.” After almost getting hit by six different cars while crossing the street, I took a deep breath and approached the most normal looking person in People’s Park. He wasn’t easy to find. It was about that time when I realized that I stuck out like a Purdue fan at an IU tailgate. My light blue polo and boat shoes didn’t exactly go with the theme of this party, but there was no turning back now. The first guy that I talked to seemed normal enough in appearance, but it wasn’t long before I realized that he was a total douche. I started by asking him if he was part of the Occupy Bloomington movement, and instead of just saying “yes” or “no” like a normal person, he paused for about five seconds, threw a smug little grin on his face, and replied, “Uh, I guess you could say that.” This was going to be a long day. I then asked if he could give me a little information about the movement. Seems like a pretty reasonable thing to ask someone who has donated almost all their time to protesting, right? “Uh, no, I can’t.” Why not? “Uh, I just think there are
07: What if Tour Guides Were Honest? “…And over there is where a nun accidentally saw my penis!”
Continued on Page 11
12-13: The Black Sheep Interviews Double trouble this issue, with Mat Kearney and 12th Planet!