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Volume 1, Issue 2 | 10/26/11 - 11/10/11 | www.theblacksheeponline.com

“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”

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What in the world is the Rock?

Ryan Kennedy wrote this Here at The Black Sheep we pride ourselves in providing not just hilarious articles for the entertainment of Hoosiers all over campus, but also hard-hitting, fact-based news meant to illuminate campus issues and educate our readers. So when my editor came to me asking for an article covering the history of “The Rock” on the IU football field, I grabbed my notepad and obnoxiously large magnifying glass and took it upon myself to do some top-notch investigative reporting for the good of the campus. Only the names, locations and facts have been changed to protect those involved. We’ve all heard the phrase “defend The Rock,” but how many of us actually know the origin of the expression? I hit campus to find out, but was met with not much more than blank stares. I decided to cut the foreplay and head straight to Memorial Stadium, home of “The Rock.” I talked to various football staff members, who all asked to remain anonymous, and found that they were more than happy to tell me about “The Rock.” According to them, “The Rock” is the name the late Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner gave to Memorial Stadium as a reference to the stadium’s limestone construction. The actual rock that sits in the north end zone is a three-ton piece from the quarry the stadium was built from. Satisfied with what I’d heard, but disappointed with “The Rock’s” seemingly mundane history, I turned to go home and begin writing my story. “They’re lying to you, kid,” said a raspy voice from behind me. I turned around, half out of interest and half to tell the mysterious voice not to call me a kid. Out of the shadows came a hunched-over old man leaning on a mop bucket for support. He had white, disheveled hair that was falling out in places and

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a patchy beard covering his wrinkled face. “You want to know the truth about ‘The Rock’?” he asked. I nodded my head. The man glared at me with his one good eye and puffed on his cigar. “Meet me at 4 a.m. behind Nick’s with three KFC Double Downs and I’ll tell you all you need to know.” Before I could explain that KFC stopped making Double Downs, he disappeared. Intrigued by this encounter, I resolved to meet with the old man. It’s my duty as a journalist. Most of the drunks had stumbled home by the time I arrived in the alley. 4 a.m. came and went, and with each passing moment I became more sure I was about to be murdered. “You must be serious about this kid. Gimme my sandwiches!” growled a voice from the shadows. “I brought you whiskey instead, now tell me what you know,” I responded. The man reached for the bottle and I noticed “Defend The Rock” tattooed on his wrist. “My name is Jedidiah,” he said, twisting the lid off the bottle. “This story goes much deeper than you could ever know. You’re going to want to sit down.” “It all started in 1969. I was working with NASA studying the moon rocks that had been brought back by the first moon landing. In the course of my work I discovered that the rocks emitted radiation. I hypothesized that a big enough moon rock could be used to power entire regions of the country, even in the event of a nuclear holocaust.” Here Jedidiah stopped and finished off what was left of his whiskey. “Naturally, the government wanted a rock like that so they sent Tom Hanks and Apollo 13 to retrieve one. Nobody thinks they landed on the moon, but they did. The radiation from the rock they retrieved was so powerful it caused their spacecraft’s oxygen tank to

04: The Hoosier Homecoming You Never Knew

There’s more things to do than just mooching drinks from alums, we swear!

explode, nearly causing a disaster of epic proportions. Obviously ‘The Rock’ as it came to be known, was top-secret. I was one of only a few who knew of its power, so I was put in charge of defending it against America’s enemies. ‘The Rock’ and I were transferred to Bloomington because, in the event of a nuclear apocalypse, B-town will likely be one of the last places destroyed.” “I’ve spent the last 41 years of my life working as a janitor here, secretly defending ‘The Rock.’ When the Cold War ended those government bastards lost interest in my project and me and sold ‘The Rock’ to Coach Hoeppner, not telling him its secrets. Coach saw my tattoo, liked it, and made a slogan out of it.” “I’ve tried many times to make the truth known, but you’re the only one who has ever cared enough to listen. I dedicated my life to defending ‘The Rock,’ but now my time is done. It’s up to you now, tell my story, tell the truth to the people.” With that Jedidiah smashed the whiskey bottle, closed his one eye, and took his last breath. Astonished at the tale I’d just heard I placed a copy of The Black Sheep over the man and raced home to write my article. There you have it. The true story of “The Rock” is known. The next time you’re sitting in the stands at a football game wondering why the hell there is a rock down on the field, remember Jedidiah and the life he spent defending that rock not just for you, but for the United States of America.

04: Top 10

Easiest Classes at Indiana University

06: The Evolution of the Halloween Costume

You’d have a hard time going as a sexy peapod these days.


02

Table of

contents 11 14

10

P5: party pics and shoutouts See what someone did with a sheep! Oh no!

P11: Are You Ready For Avicii? Let’s hope mist doesn't ruin this show at the farm!

P6: Party Hard, Darty Harder With scant few days of fall left, time to enjoy the wonders of the great outdoors.

P12: the death of some pop stars... We really hope a few of these people meet their demise soon...

P7: An Ode to Tailgates Like you needed an excuse to party at the crack of dawn.

07

P8: the bar grid Headed out? Save money on drinks so you can pay for the public urination ticket later... P10: Bartender of the issue This sexy sister works at Brother’s!

P13: we interview: cut copy An Aussie band you better learn to love soon...or be a loser. P14: the riddle Can you solve it? It's pretty tricky if we do say so ourselves... P15: word search Find the words! Find them all!

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Definition: The strategic mapping of local pubs, dives, cantinas, clubs and watering holes that allows for maximum drinking during a bar crawl. Sentence: “Steve’s bartography skills ensured that the entire sweatpants barcrawl was sufficiently drunk by midnight.”


04

TOP TEN

The Hoosier Homecoming You Never Knew

10) African Drum and Dance – FOLK-F 301 This class is the king of easy classes. It’s 3 credits, gives you an A&H gen ed and fulfills a culture studies requirement. It meets Monday nights for three hours and you either get to spend the time banging your stress out on some authentic African drums or learning 4 different dances. It is a guaranteed A assuming you go to class, which is canceled at least once a semester.

Kate Waxler wrote this Homecoming: The week us Hoosiers celebrate the coming year by showing our pride for all that embodies IU. The combination of themed parties and an earth-shattering tailgate makes this week-long festivity almost among as intense as Little 500…almost. Will this be our football teams’ 8th loss this season? Most likely. Is the fact that it’s Homecoming reason enough to party hard? Obviously. But besides yet another excuse to rage, what does the campus do to actually celebrate our coming home? We really don’t pay attention to the school-endorsed events, so what does Homecoming to IU really mean? Nearly Naked Mile: This is an event all Hoosiers need to participate in before they graduate. The “run” begins at 9 p.m. in Dunn Meadow, meanders through campus passing the Showalter Fountain, and ends at the Sample Gates. I say “run” in quotes because it’s not exactly a sprint. Let’s just say people are more concerned about what they are wearing—or the lack thereof—than running. The name is true to its form—even in 45-degree weather students wear as little as they can get away with. A campus-endorsed (nearly) naked charity event? Can’t go wrong there; participants must donate at least one item of clothing which will be given to a local shelter. Hopefully you made it to the event on Monday night and ran your naked ass off—if not, there’s always next year! Homecoming Light Parade: This 52nd annual parade is for everyone in the Bloomington community—alumni, students, families, and townies all come together to celebrate the joy of being a Hoosier. Student groups, clubs, and sports teams (don’t worry, our football “team” doesn’t count as an actual team) parade the streets of Bloomington from 3rd street to Sample Gates, showing off what they do and who they are. Fans cheer on the walkers and student-built floats, showing us the true reason why we decided to attend IU. Don’t miss this great event—Thursday night, 7p.m. at 3rd Street and Indiana!

9) Sport of your choice – HPER-E 100 The HPER School has taken the liberty of offering multiple classes based on your favorite sports. Anything from bowling to pool to tennis and racquetball, these classes will help you burn off those 15 Keystone Lights you drank last night while improving your game and padding the GPA. 8) Social Psychology – PSY-P 304 Basically, you show up and listen to the professor explain why your girlfriend might have dumped you or why frat boys hate on anyone not wearing their letters. Go to class and you’ll have to try to get lower than an A. 7) The History of the Beatles – MUS-Z401 Finally, a lecture where all you do is listen to Beatles songs and talk about George Harrison's obsession with LSD. The history of the Beatles is a song-by-song narrative of John, Paul, George, and Ringo and all the stuff you never knew you wanted to know about the band. The professor, Glen Gass, has devoted his whole hippie life to the Fab Four and every day the students in the 400-person lecture clap as he walks in the door.

home rather than in the drunk tank. Also remember that besides those of us getting drunk, this is a family tailgate as well. Keep it classy around the alumni and kids as they show us their Hoosier spirit in a way we have yet to comprehend—soberly. Homecoming Football Game: While you may not have made it to a game yet this season, this game might be a good one to stumble into. Even though there is a 99.3% chance we will lose to Northwestern, it’s still worth it to sport your Hoosier pride from inside Memorial Stadium. Being in the stands is actually fun (extra points if you make it in by 12p.m. kickoff); and even though Northwestern isn’t exactly a powerhouse, watching us make embarrassing play after embarrassing play is pretty funny.

"...even in 45-degree weather students wear as little as they can get away with..."

Homecoming Tailgate: The last real tailgate of the season (the Purdouche tailgate doesn’t count). I know— probably the most depressing sentence ever written. Hoosiers, take this as an incentive to go hard, or go home. 6 a.m. wakeup is a necessity, and Kilroy’s Breakfast Club is a given. Live out your fantasies and make this the best tailgate ever; dance on that truck bed, wave that handle in the air, shake that thang like you just don’t care. Just make sure you make it

Easiest Classes at IU

Let’s be honest: We know IU is ranked higher as a party school than as a football team, we know there is a bigger fan turnout at the tailgating fields than inside the actual stadium, and we know Homecoming is usually just another reason for students to consume mass amounts of alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I’m down for taking pulls just as much as the next Hoosier, but what these events remind us is how great it is to be a Hoosier…soberly. In between shotgunning that beer, take a look around to see the alumni joining in on the festivities this weekend. Guaranteed in five or ten years that will be you reminiscing on those good old college days—live it up now and celebrate with IU.

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6) IU Traditions and Cultures – COLL-X 112 This class is such a joke it’s “taught” entirely online. As long as you put forth a small amount of effort you’re guaranteed an A. You have to go to a building for the tests and there are weekly (online) assignments that require a pulse to pass. Learn about your Hoosier heritage and pad your GPA, it’s a win-win situation. 5) Cultism in Africa – AFRI-L 202 There seems to be a general trend with these African studies classes. The teacher is a crazy African man and all he talks about is how the most important thing in college is to get A’s. It’s a 3 credit A&H/Culture Studies with a good grade distribution. Going to class guarantees an A. There’s a midterm that is exactly the same as the “practice test” from the class before (which you’re provided the answers to…), and a final essay that gets an A if it’s over 3 pages long. 4) Intro to Informatics – INFO-I 101 The most underrated blow-off major at IU that still somehow manages to land you a solid job has an introductory class. If you know how to turn on a computer you’re set. Over 60% get’s an A or higher, with the “slackers” of the class landing a B or above. 3) Intro to Writing – ENG-W 131 It’s like youth sports: no one loses and everyone gets a trophy. You just show up, look like you’re pondering the literary elements of a picture of a bird, and turn in your version of the five-paragraph essay we all learned in 5th grade. Don’t feel proud of the A you probably don’t deserve, but take the GPA boost and enjoy. 2) Interpersonal Communication – CMCL-C 122 This class is 3 credits, fulfills a S&H requirement, and has a class average of A-. You’ll learn how “we interact with each friends, family, lovers and disliked acquaintances” or some bullshit like that. Attend class, do your work and you WILL get an A. 1) Stress Prevention and Management - HPER-H 180 This class is so easy even middle-schoolers would consider it a cinch. You “learn” about what causes stress, like too much partying, and different ways to deal with it, like not partying (???). No homework is given- the only requirement is that you show up to class. If you attend every class you don’t even have to take the final because “Why would we want to stress you out with another exam?” The best part is it’s a 3-credit class; if you can’t get an A in this class you don’t deserve to go to college.


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SHOUT OUTS! To the fool who threw the dead possum on my porch, you’ve got a dead raccoon coming your way. 83, we’ve been hoping you’d trip down the stairs for a year. Have a great Fall. 84. To the ginger whose debit card I lost: Stop crying like a lil girl. –NMP Leggings and Nike shorts, Y’all are an item again? Really? To my Spanish midterm: Prepare to die. If I order a stripper I expect him to show up on time dammit. Dave, I do remember your name and I do remember the camera. Thanks for nothing! -Holly Happy bday K-Fel, you better believe we’re re-enacting last year’s debacle, personal shot glasses and all! -Brit Whoever put mustard on my car, prepare to pay...I have ketchup and know how to use it...,Red Accord Jackie, it's called wine night, not whine night...get a grip and stop crying everytime we try hanging out. -Bridgette To Maggie, is this the year we pull the costume switch/boyfriend switch? I think so...get excited! -Steph Megs, thanks for the best 21st EVER. Nothing beats wearing a crown while hugging a toilet...just don't share those pics! Steve, please don't dress like cock and balls again. Getting lame...love everyone you know. SEND INYOUR BEST SHOUT OUT TO SHOUT@theblacksheeponline.com or upload them at theblacksheeponline.com


06

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The Evolution of the Halloween Costume

Elisabeth Klisser wrote this

killers featured in movies that they’venever seen, and assorted characters from Harry Potter (you know you suck if you were the one that had to dress up as Ron Weasly…and you aren’t even a redhead). Girls, on the other hand, usually stick to the cliché themes; princesses, fairies and female pop superstars. The Lady Gaga costume is especially economical and popular for young divas, seeing as you can attach basically any household object to your body, such as last nights roast beef leftovers, and you have her latest award show get-up.

With Halloween quickly approaching, students around campus are anxiously attempting to put together the perfect costume. For girls, it’s all about getting the right balance between slutty and recognizable, because going as just a slut is so last year. The main concern for guys, on the other hand, is making sure that they’re original enough to impress the ladies without trying very hard. It wasn’t always this way. This spooky season we encourage you to take a step back and truly appreciate the gloriousness that is the Halloween costume and its peculiar evolution. As An Infant: The Halloween costume begins rather strangely in a person’s life. Most babies are dressed up by their parents in costumes of the fruit, vegetable, and small insect variety. The most popular amongst these are bananas, lady bugs, and the ever-popular peapod costume. Another timeless classic is the big orange pumpkin costume, complete with a stem beret. As bizarre as these baby costumes are, you can’t really go wrong dressing up an adorable baby like an inanimate object. It’s generally accepted that a baby will look freaking adorable, even if you dress it up as dog shit for Halloween. As A Child: Once you reach sentience you reach the only stage in your life when your Halloween costume is actually, totally, bitcharrifically awesome. Boys dress up as various Marvel superheroes, serial

As A Young Adult: After females reach the age of 13 their costumes consist of progressively less and less material, until virtually every college girl is dressed up in the Night Moves company garb. Guys become increasingly less creative with their Halloween attire, unless they haven’t quite grown out of the child stage and are still dressing as Spiderman. Another point to consider during this stage is the seemingly strange correlation between college majors and costumes for the 31st. Take a second this Halloween season to notice all the pre-med majors dressed as scantily clad nurses, criminal justice majors wearing rather sexy police officer apparel, and juniors who still haven’t declared their major dressing as the cast members of the Jersey Shore. As An Adult: The level of social acceptance for Halloween costumes peaks at the child and teen stages, and remains in a steady decline for the rest of one’s life. During the adult stage, most costumes are considered pretty damn stupid. The parents who dress up in corny Fred and Wilma costumes are the absolute worst, and unless you have the body of Jennifer Lopez after the age of 30, you should stay as far away from those shady discount costume shops as possible. At least you have that to look forward to. As you can see, the evolution of the Halloween costume is a complex metamorphosis that progresses from cute to awesome to slutty and then finally shifts to pathetic. This depressing trend has remained constant for as long as Halloween has existed, and doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon. Here at The Black Sheep, however, we encourage students to stick it to the man and attempt to revolutionize this seemingly boring progression of the Halloween costume. Dress your future children up as Ke$ha, encourage your parents to dress up as peapods, and make sure to find yourself embracing your awesome inner child this Halloween season.

Party Hard, Darty Harder Kyle Hassett wrote this There’s a kid napping in the mud. There’s another one lounging in the grass. Yet another has somehow climbed up to the roof and is insisting that he could totally survive a jump from up there. The porch and front lawn would lead you to believe that a tornado of Solo cups and empty bottles just swept through. No, this isn’t a scene straight out of Armageddon or some messed up nightmare I recently had. What I’ve just described is perhaps the most patriotic festivity that a college student can partake in. I’m talking, of course, about the day party, or “darty” as the youth of today call it. And when it’s done right, it’s the greatest thing in the effing world. Ever. In my lengthy experience, I’ve realized that dartying is absolutely never a bad idea. If it’s sunny out and you don’t have anything to do the next day, you might as well bust out the sauce and fire up the grill. Is there anything better than a fresh-off-the-grill burger in one hand and an ice-cold Keystone in the other? Yes, there is: a fresh-offthe-grill burger in one hand and an ice-cold Keystone in the other AND it’s only noon. Therein lies the essence of the darty. But it’s not all fun and games. You’ve got to drag your semi-lifeless self out of bed at the asscrack of dawn when the last thing you want to do is catch a whiff of cheap vodka. Don’t even bother brushing your teeth because you and everyone around you will be too drunk to care soon enough. Karkov probably kills more germs than mouthwash, anyway. Also, if you have ultra-pale skin darties can quickly turn into your worst nightmare. Make your best effort to not pass out when you’re outside. But the absolute worst thing about a raging darty is the early-evening hangover. We’ve all experienced this odd phenomenon. Everyone is used to being hungover the next morning while they miserably sit in the back row of their 9:30a.m. lecture. So when you wake up from your post-darty nap, which often feels like coming out of a 3-month coma, you will be completely disoriented.

When it comes to dartying, though, the pros easily outweigh the cons. It’s pretty easy to wake yourself up after you’ve slammed a few shots. It’s a lot like jumping into a cold pool: you just gotta man-up (or woman-up) and do it. Just make yourself a quick mixed drink of coffee, sugar, Captain Morgan and crushed up Adderall in the morning and you will be ready to go in no time. It’ll all be worth it when you emerge from the dark corridors of your house and find Mother Nature waiting there to greet you with a fifth of Skol and a liter of Diet Mountain Lightning. I can assure you that you don’t have much dartying time left, because the Bloomington weather is about to get shitty like it always does about this time of year. You only have a limited amount of time to chain smoke outdoors, pass out in a lawn chair, or everyone’s favorite, pee outdoors on a sunny day (everyone knows that it’s way better than anything else). So if you are looking to break away from the “narties” that have become so mainstream these days, get all your peeps together and throw a bumpin’ darty.


07

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An Ode to Tailgates Jillian Mandell wrote this A lot of schools like to brag about their godly football teams and how they actually win games- at IU we like to think we’re above that. Here at Indiana tailgating isn’t a preamble to a sporting event, it’s an art form, and it’s far more competitive than anything we do on the field. One could argue that we’re actually blessed by having a football team that doesn’t often bring home the big W, allowing us to fully relish in the tailgating experience. On Saturday, October 29th some will be experiencing their first Homecoming game and for other unfortunate souls it will be their last. No matter what age you are, everyone partaking in the event needs to cherish this divine day. Just think, it needs to be epic enough to tide you over until next season. It’s difficult to summarize what exactly an IU tailgate is. After Saturday ends we’ll all mourn the loss of 6 a.m. Karkov pulls, hearing multiple soundtracks blaring from one plot to the next, recognizing 50 people you may know and 5,000 others you don’t, stumbling to the front of the bathroom line and shot gunning beers clad in our beloved cream and crimson. And in the wise words of Ke$ha, its time to brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack, Hoosiers - get that buzz going before you even have time to yawn. Tailgate days are the only days when your alarm clock detonates and the snooze isn’t hit once. If you can handle the responsibility that goes with being an early riser then you need to be the one rounding up the troops. The time of the “actual game” will determine your start time, but it’s key to claim your battleground before the enemy has a chance. Assemble an assortment of blow horns, pots and pans, as well as other loud and irritating noisemakers to wake up those around you, it would be selfish to let anyone not experience every sweet minute of what remains. Once there, you’re not leaving. Rain, sleet, snow, hail, tornadoes, earthquakes and tsunamis do not and will not stop any IU tailgate from happening. Don’t let weather come between you and your all-time perfect level of discombobulation. A true professional knows to dress in layers- you never know what to expect from our bipolar Indi-

ana weather. A chill will definitely be in the air for HC,making it necessary to be drunk as a skunk.Always get that beer jacket on prior to stepping outside. If something as strong as nature isn’t stopping us, the there’s no way man will, but be careful. Excise cops anxiously wait for tailgates, and Homecoming won’t be an exception to that; they eat this shit up like a 7th grader eats up a Justin Bieber song at a middle school dance. Just never be that guy who thinks it’s a good idea to tip over a port-o-potty or climb the trees naked. Now more than ever, you should have the mentality that all hell is about to break loose. Not everyone has the opportunity or the excuse to be howling drunk before most people have even had their morning cup of coffee. Make Mom and Dad proud, they didn’t actually send you here to read books and learn things! You were sent here to play a part in one of the most awe-inspiring experiences that will ever come your way.


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SPECIAL NIGHT

SATURDAY: $5.50 32oz Beer Main Squeeze (10/29) Dot Dot Dot (11/05) DJ Night (11/12)

MONDAY: Happy Hour All Day and Night! $1 Wells $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz import $3 Apples

$2 Happy Hour Everyday 3pm-9pm 24oz Bud and Bud Light 16oz Red Stripe Lager Stuffed Sticks and Wings

MONDAY: 4 5 6 Happy Hour $1.50 Well Cocktails $6 Nip and Pound $3 Bloomington Brews $7 Pitchers Miller Lite

WED: We Are Kirkwood Wednesday | Mug Night. $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz Import $3 Long Islands $4 Triple Pinnacles Free Trivia at 11pm.

THURS

1-”2”-3 $1 Burgers from 5p-10p $3 cover (ladies free) FREE T-shirts at 9pm *while supplies last $1 Cherry bombs, Bazooka Joes, Jäger bombs $2 U-call-it’s Everything under $6 is $2

BarstooIU Bloomington Banger (10/27) Boom Box (11/10)

$3 Thursday $3 Apples $3 32oz Drafts $3 You-Call-Its

$3 Thursdays $3 You-Call-It's Even the Cover is only $3

4 5 6 Happy Hour $1.50 Well Cocktails $6 Nip and Pound $3.50 Long Islands $7 Pitchers of All Light Beer Sink the Biz night

$3 Thursday $3 Food Specials, Long Islands, Bottled Beer, You-Call-Its Free T-Shirt with Cover

FRI

$2 Bazooka Joes & Jäger Bombs $3.25 Three Olives Vodka $4 Three Olives Vodka/RedBulls $3 Miller Lite Bottles

$5.50 32oz Beer Hairbanger Ball (10/28) Dr. Dog (11/04) Clayton Anderson (11/11)

Frat Friday $2 House Pints $2 Red and Purple Jungle Juice

$5 Double Crown Royal $5 Double Captain Morgan $5 Double Absolute Vodkas $3 Sugared Shooters $5 Cover @10pm

5 6 Happy Hour $4 Franziskaner $3 Absolut, Crown, Captain, Jameson $7 Double Ketel Bloody Mary

Frat Friday New Drink Specials Every Friday! Come check it out!

SAT

$2 Bazooka Joes & Jäger Bombs $3.25 Bacardi Drinks $3 Coors Light Bottles

$5.50 32oz Beer Main Squeeze (10/29) Dot Dot Dot (11/05) DJ Night (11/12)

$6 Triple Absolut $6 Triple Captain

$6 Double Jack's $6 Double Bacardi Rums $6 Double Stoli Vodkas $3 Sugared Shooters $5 Cover @10pm

5 6 Happy Hour $5 Double Absolut, Captain, Crown, Jameson $7 Double Ketel Bloody Mary

$6 Triple Absolut $6 Triple Captain. Kick-off at Kilroy's- open early on home football game days (free t-shirt and breakfast buffet with cover)

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Dollar Double Ups $2 Longnecks $3 Long Islands No Cover

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Karaoke Night $2 Dirty Birds White Panda (10/31)

Happy Hour All Day and Night! $1 Wells $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz import $3 Apples

Happy Hour All Night $1 Well Drinks $2 Happy Hour Beer No Cover

4 5 6 Happy Hour $1.50 Well Cocktails $6 Nip and Pound $3 Bloomington Brews $7 Pitchers Miller Lite

Happy Hour All Day and Night. $1 Wells, $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz Import 25cent Wings 50cent Breadsticks

“Taco Tuesday” $1 tacos from 5p-Close $1 U-call-it’s (super premiums & pitchers excluded) Everything under $6 is $1 $5 Cover (ladies are free)

Local Music (11/01) Skrillex (11/08) Local Music (11/15)

$2 Tuesday $2 Apples $2 Pints $2 You-Call-Its.

$2 Tuesdays Everything is $2 NO COVER!!

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15cent Beer $1.50 Mixed Drinks Cold War Kids (11/02)

We Are Kirkwood Wednesday | Mug Night. $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz Import $3 Apples $4 Triple Pinnacles

Wednesdays on Walnut Everything is Half Price... EVERYTHING!! Ladies Night No Cover for Ladies

32oz Kirkwood Mug Specials! Nicksology 7-8pm $1.50 Well Cocktails $6 Nip and Pound $3 Bloomington Brews $7 Pitchers Bud/Bud Light

We Are Kirkwood Wednesday | Mug Night. $3 32oz Domestic $4 32oz Import $3 Long Islands $4 Triple Pinnacles Free Trivia at 11pm.

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Hall-O-Weekend Friday 10/28 —Monday 10/31 $2.75 Bud Light Bottles $3.25 18oz Bud Light Bottles Saturday BLOOD Light taps & Costume Contest

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$5 Bud Light Pitchers $8 Bud Light Beer Towers

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U O Y K N I R D P E E H S K C A L B Y R E FOR EV E H T O T IN T E K IC T A T E G U O Y R E ORD ! S D R A C T IF G D N A S E IZ R P IN W O RAFFLE T DE J VLLAAD

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Bartender of the

Issue

Ali

canopytclub her's

bro

drinking game:

Relationship Status: It’s complicated Favorite Drink: Two-Hearted Ale Favorite Shot: Royal Flush (Crown, Amaretto, Peach Schnapps, Cranberry and Orange Juice) Worst Drink Ever: Lunchbox (Shot of Amaretto dropped into beer and orange juice) Celebrity Crush? Girl: Shakira Boy: James Franco Who would you most want to have a tickle-fight with? James Franco Which celebrity would you punch in the face? Charlie Sheen Which Disney character would you hook up with? Aladdin What is the funniest thing you’ve seen while working? Watching someone bust their ass on the dance floor.

Teeth

The infamous film, Teeth, needs no introduction. It’s popular among stoned high school kids with vagina obsessions and dental hygienists who are horrified at the thought of teeth being subjected to the horrors of down below. But now, thanks to alcohol, this film can be enjoyed by anyone! Number of players: Two. You can play by yourself, but that would be really awkward if your mom walked down into the basement and caught you watching Teeth alone. What you need: The DVD Teeth, shot glasses, and Pinnacle Marshmallow (To play on the vagina theme, you pussy). How to play: - Put in the movie! (They key is to decipher whether it is VHS or DVD. Proceed accordingly). - Every time the word “vagina” is said, you must take a half shot (I say half shot because vagina is used liberally in this movie. I’m looking out for you!). - Every time you watch an appendage get bitten off by Dawn’s vag-chompers (I wonder if she got braces on those things…) you must chug a mixed drink for the entire duration of the injured person’s dramatic bloodcurdling screaming. - If at any point in time a viewer hides his or her eyes from the graphic images of severed genitals, they must take a full shot, because that’s super embarrassing. - Any time you roll your eyes at Dawn’s blatant innocence take another half a shot. Honor code here folks, but seriously – who is this girl kidding? The Game Ends When: The movie does.

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Worst hook-up story? Any guy that won’t leave in the morning. How many 4-year-olds could you take in a fight? I would never fight a 4-year-old…but I could easily take 5 midgets. If you could create a holiday what would it be? Another holiday that’s an excuse to get dressed up like a slut and go out drinking. What dead person would you most want to bring back to life? Michael Jackson If you could have any super power what would it be? To be able to breathe under water or be halfmermaid. What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve heard on the job? I get hit on too much to remember any of them.

recipe for disaster:

Nacharido

Legend has it that in 1995, a wise, old luchador named Adalberto Montoya attended a Phish concert in Mexico City. When he wasn’t wooing women in the ring and making piñatas for his niños, he loved to cook. At the concert, several kids recognized Adalberto and begged him to fill their stomachs with some paella or enchiritos. You see they had been smoke La Marijuana. Up to the challenge, Adalberto gathered all of his supplies and created El Nacharido. What you need: Nacho chips, huge flour tortillas, cheddar cheese, colby-jack cheese, sour cream, salsa, jalapeños, lettuce, pizza rolls, ground beef, liquid cheese, onions, tomatoes, chicken fingers, guacamole, and Taco Bell packets. Health Content: The calories might be as hefty as your County Market bill, but it’ll be worth it! Directions: - Cook ground beef in a hot pan on the stove until all of the pink is gone. - Stick frozen chicken fingers and pizza rolls in the oven for about 15 minutes. - Layer chips on a huge pan and melt the variety of cheeses on them. - Next, once the cheese is melted layer the lettuce, tomatoes, onions, beef, jalapenos, sour cream, guacamole, chicken fingers, and pizza rolls onto the nacho chips. - After everything is all layered, roll everything into huge tortillas and cover them in Taco Bell sauce. Now you have yourself a crazy nacho-burrito that all your friends will be jealous of… until you puke it up moments later.


are you ready for avicii? A holiday that was once set aside as an evening for jumping out of bushes to scare innocent kids searching for candy is now about going out, getting sloshed and most importantly; GETTING DOWN. You couldn’t swing a dead cat at a party on Halloween without interrupting Frankenstein and Snooki in a raunchy make out sesh. Tragically, The 31st falls on a Monday this year. To add to that shit storm, it’s the day after the always over-indulged Homecoming week. Luckily, there is no need to wear your Sarah Palin costume to class on Monday because Halloween is coming early to Bloomington this year... For Avicii and Friends Saturday afternoon at Pic-A-Chic farm. The show, powered by Bounce Music Festival, is stacked. Newcomers to the electronic scene, Lazy Rich and Artesse, are on the bill. Rich, a native of the UK, is no stranger to the top of both electronic and mainstream charts. His sound can be described as offensively funky, always intense, and appropriately epic. His upcoming tours in Europe and Australia are leading indicators of this disc jockey’s ability to make the dance floor go crazy stupid. Artesse, a sophomore at the University of Pennsylvania, is considered to be Avicii’s protege. Standing by his style of masterful buildups to massive drops and perfectly harmonized synthesizer, many of his songs sound like they were made with Avicii right over his shoulder. Effectively, when Artesse takes the stage no one will realize that the headliner has left. As for Avicii, a lot can be said about how hard he has dominated the music scene in the recent months. Songs like “Levels” and “Fade

11 Mack Sterr wrote this

into Darkness” have become so popular that they are on the verge of being cliche. His newest remix of Coldplay’s “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” shows his dedication to monopolizing his listeners’ iPods. If you haven’t heard of Avicii, don’t bother buying a ticket. No one wants to hang out with the pale kid that lives under a rock. The man behind the nom-de-plume, Tim Bergling, has melted faces at sold out venues ranging from Ibiza to Haiti, as well as his homeland, Sweden. It’s his first time at IU, and judging by word-of-mouth buzz Pic-A-Chic is the best place to do the monster mash this weekend. Let’s just get one thing out in the open. Avicii is playing in Camden, NJ later Saturday night. It’s not as much a double-booking as it is his recognition of IU as a worthwhile place to throw a wrench into a nationwide tour so that he can play really loud music in front of thousands of Hoosiers pumped full of club drugs. Sure, it’s an inconvenience for those of us who planned on getting our standard five hour after-tailgate nap in, but if you want to see the newest DJ phenom, you better be there by showtime at 4:30. In the wake of the averted disaster that almost was Deadmau5’s GLOWfest, the campus deserves a concert to go as planned. We need a night that says THIS IS INDIANA. The best way to send that message is to treat Bounce Music Festival a lot like the Halloween we all had as children; balls-to-thewall in costume, roaming on some stranger’s property, and looking to score some “candy” to give us a head rush.

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Maybe we’re just getting too old, but the popularity of some mainstream music really baffles us these days. Hell, we understand why Justin Bieber and Lady GaGa are “the bee’s knees,” as kids are wont to say. These six artists? Not so much.

drake

mumford & sons

lmfao

Artist: Drake Known For:”Find Your Love,” looking tired and sad all of the time. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Rapping an entire bar then pausing like this…to deliver a shitty punch line. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “If a million 4-year-olds chained to a million crayons were locked in a room, how long would it take them to write a Drake song, 25 minutes? 30?” Poetic Death: Everyone—from Lil’ Wayne to Nicki Minaj—who carried Drake on a track would take turns literally carrying Drake to a set of railroad tracks, where he’d finally meet his demise. Artist: Mumford & Sons Known For: “Little Lion Man,” being vaguely earnest. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Staaaaarting ouuuuuut playyyying a sonnnnng reallllly slowwwww, thenplayingthechorusreallyfast. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “If you sang all your lyrics at the same pace, couldn’t each and every word get their due?” Poetic Death: Tearfully, the band sacrifices themselves for a cause greater than themselves—one that flames out a few months later, like the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Artist: LMFAO Known For: “Party Rock Anthem,” enjoying shots in Miami. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Looking and sounding like fucking idiots. Loudly. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “Redfoo, SkyBlu, you both dress like your parents’ spent their lives shunning you. Sorry, that isn’t a question, just wasn’t sure if you realized that or not.” Poetic Death: Major Lazer challenges the LMFAO boys to a drink-off, only to trick them into pounding shots of liquid cyanide.

katy perry

dropkick murphy's

bassnectar

Artist: Katy Perry Known For:”I Kissed A Girl,” “California Gurls,” marrying Russell Brand, tits. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Catchy pop tracks with hooks and videos that imply women are sexually closeted idiots. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “Whose entire routine is more of a gimmick, yours, or your husband’s?” Poetic Death: No longer popular or famous, Perry offs herself in one last attention grab. It fails to generate the headlines she oh-so-desperately craves.

Artist: Dropkick Murphys Known For: “I’m Shipping Up to Boston,” being the musical equivalent of The Boondock Saints. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Wishing desperately to be from Ireland, using an accordion and bagpipes without a hint of irony. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “You’re the kind of assholes who roots for Notre Dame because you’re 5th generation Irish, aren’t you?” Poetic Death: Alcohol poisoning, via Jameson suppositories.

Artist: Bassnectar Known For: Being an integral part of the dubstep trend that’s sweeping the nation. Horribly Annoying Trademark: Having a shtick and a light show that mask glaring musical inability. What We’d Ask In An Interview: “Did you and Beyonce mean to get your extensions from the same guy, or was that just some sort of happy coincidence?” Poetic Death: A fan—while rolling their balls off on MDMA—sticks a turntable needle through the heart of a voodoo doll made from his hair, killing him.


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the interview

Dan Whitford of Cut Copy

The Australian electronic band Cut Copy has been blowing up in recent years, probably due to rave reviews from Pitchfork as well as picking up traction from the cool kids who follow the site. We got to chat with lead singer Dan Whitford about electronic evolution, writing lyrics to classic songs and playing tennis against Franz Ferdinand. The Black Sheep: So you’ve been playing electronic music since 2001. How has the electronic music scene changed since? Dan Whitford: Like anything, music’s kind of a slave to fashion and trend as much as any art form. To me, it feels like electronic music has been welcomed more as a mainstream form of music at the start of 2000. I’d guess partly because we had come out of an era of music where sort of indie stuff was really what all the cool kids were into, and anything with synthesizers kind of went a little bit into a niche world for a while there. I felt like dance music and guitar based music were very separate things and I guess that was sort of the mission statement of what Cut Copy was about, being passionate about both pop music, guitar based indie music or whatever you want to call it and also being really inspired by synth based stuff, and club and dance records. So, I think over that period of time those things have come together very much and it’s interesting that there’s the whole scene in the States now based around Pitchfork and stuff put online by sites like that. We like both parts of that music equally and use them interchangeably, and it feels like our mission statement has been fulfilled in a lot of ways. TBS: You guys do have such a great balance between using the synth samples and beats with the instruments that you play. Was it a natural collaboration of those two sounds? DW: It was tricky in a way because there really was no blueprint for that kind of combination. Finding a way to combine those things was the biggest challenge. For me it feels like fusion, one of the real dirty words in music, and I guess the idea of fusing synth and rock music probably could turn into something pretty bad. So thankfully we’ve found a really tasteful way of doing it and a way that was works for us and works for a lot of other people. It’s definitely not a mathematical operation, it very much goes by feel. TBS: Your music is super upbeat and fun to dance to, and it’s interesting because you’re from laid back Australia. Did that relaxed culture have an effect on the music you play now? DW: I think it has an effect on our personalities, I don’t know whether musically it did. Our music is a reflection of the music that we love. When I was starting out and being really passionate about music was about when The Avalanches were doing shows in Australia and just before they did their first album was when I first met them and came into contact with them, and I found their music really uplifting and inspiring and really upbeat as well. It almost felt like that sensation musically was something that I would like to express as well, in Cut Copy. In our own way, we felt like we were doing the same thing.

CD REVIEW

Out Now

real estate Days

Days like these make selling condos more interesting

C-

Real Estate is a band that has been getting a lot of buzz lately, by lately “meaning” the past two years. It’s not really a huge surprise why – these Brooklyn by way of New Jersey boys have had Pitchfork s-ing their ds since they popped back up in 2009, and continue to praise them for their subtle beats, minimalist music and every other aspect of a band followed by an adjective meaning “simple.” Though their sound isn’t terrible, it’s a wonder why this mostly-forgettable indie rock buzzband hasn’t fallen off the buzz bandwagon.

doesn’t cut it, so the catchy rock riffs in “Municipality" force any listener to double-check what band they are listening to again. Still soft and subtle, this song at least wakes you up during the chorus. “It’s Real” is another good tune that is fast paced and with great vocals, but falls on its face and gets a bloody nose with the uninspired lyrics: “I don't know who's behind / the wheel / sometimes I feel like I don't know / the deal.” Good Lord, they even have a song called “All the Same” that is just the same two beats over and over and over…

Real Estate found their voice and do not stray from it, because it’s what the people want. So do their songs all sound similar? Of course. Is that bad? Well… is it boring? Yeah, kind of! While there is that fine line between “having a unique sound” and “changing / growing / progressing” and the decision on when to cross it, Real Estate doesn’t want anything to do with that fine line. They keep calm, quiet, and in the corner speaker of a bar in Brooklyn where a cute tipsy couple holds hands and speaks softly really close to each other.

But it’s not fair to hate on a band for being slow paced and, at first listen, slightly yawn-worthy; there’s nothing wrong with taking a chill pill and appreciating soft vocals and simple melodies. But being “simple” isn’t an excuse for being mediocre musicians and average singers. The thought that there are a million and one bands just like this one is, I’d assume, thought by over a million and one minds.

But when they aren’t droning on, they randomly have a spurt of excitement that any low-key band can benefit from. Alex Bleeker’s voice generally

Sounds Like: A band that’s falling asleep. Download: Municipality, It’s Real Listen to it When: You’re in a dark bar and want to make-out.

UPCOMING RELEASES >>> Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto Michael Bublé - Christmas Tom Waits - Bad As Me Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (Deluxe Version)

She & Him - A Very She & Him Christmas Toby Keith - Clancy's Tavern Paul Simon - Songwriter Skinny Puppy - HandOver

TBS: You mention that The Avalanches were a big inspiration for you. What else inspires your music? DW: I think it’s a unique combination of stuff, just being inspired by different areas of music, art, film, just different things across the board. A lot comes from bands that we love. For instance Talking Heads, we listened to a lot of Talking Heads in making Zonoscope. It’s just a bit of a patchwork of our experiences and things that we’re inspired by and hopefully just our viewpoint in reinterpreting all of these things ends up being something unique even if really, at the end of the day, we’re just music fans. TBS: Did you write the song “Need You Now” about somebody in particular? DW: One morning I sort of wrote the basis of that track, and had some synths and some keyboards and a drum machine and just kind of penned out the whole thing while I was waiting for Tim and Ben to meet me at my house. And in the few hours that I was waiting for them I ended up putting that track together and doing some quick vocals that sort of fit with it. And, essentially, the vocals were as it appears in the final track, I didn’t change the lyrics at all. So it wasn’t specifically written about someone, it just came off the top of my head that morning. But it fit so well, I couldn’t bring myself to change it. We tried a few alternatives but it just didn’t sound right. TBS: Man, that’s awesome. That’s such a good song, and it’s cool that it kind of came out of nowhere. DW: Yeah, and that’s one of the things I was worried about. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a classic song but when you read about other people who’ve written classic songs often they say they do say it comes out of nowhere, or that the best songs happen really quickly and it’s almost as if it was meant to be. TBS: What else do you like to do when you aren’t playing music? DW: I like to get outdoors a bit, because I spend most of my time indoors when we’re touring. We have this thing we organized, before we started touring, where me, Mitchell and Ben from the band and various other musicians and DJs would play tennis against each other once a week. It got to the point that if there were touring bands or DJs that would be available, we’d get them to come down and play against us. TBS: What other bands have you guys gotten to play tennis with you? DW: We played against the guys from Franz Ferdinand when they were in Australia last, so that was pretty cool. TBS: Who won? DW: I think it was one set off, so we didn’t have a deciding set. They took the first set and we took the second, and I felt like we were going to come back and beat them, but it wasn’t on the scoreboard so it’s hard to say. TBS: Drink of choice? DW: These days I’ve been enjoying red wine before the show, I like a good Merlot. It’s nice, smooth, easy on the vocal cords and provides a good romantic, artistic vibe in the band room. Spirits can get you a little too wasted before the show.

jess sommers wrote this


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