Volume 19, Issue 12 — 11/02/11 - 11/09/11 — www.theblacksheeponline.com
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Recent Survey Suggests: Students Content in Sheltered, Ignorant Bliss mark benson wrote this With the nation immersed in four wars and counting, dictators being dethroned and executed on a weekly basis, a global climate crisis, a system of overcrowded prisons, genocides in Africa, revolutions around the globe, nuclear threats from North Korea and Iran and a slowly dying economy, students are beginning to feel extremely thankful for the sheltered, comfortable lives into which they were born. “You know, although I’ve never talked to anyone about this, I feel that I might have some depression/anxiety issues. Sometimes, I don’t know why, I just feel all alone, or that the world around me is slowly crumbling. When I’m hanging out with friends I feel that nobody really understands me. I don’t know why these thoughts come up, but sometimes they do. But then I remember that I’m not a child in the middle of a civil war in Liberia. So yeah, I guess I’m pretty happy that I was born into such a safe and glutenous life.” These words, spoken by communications major Matt K., express the general sentiment felt by most students at the university. While university life can seem stressful and unfair, most students, when compared to literally any other set of circumstances, are perfectly happy being rich, sheltered pricks. These findings were gathered when, after the release of videos depicting
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Gaddafi’s death, I became interested in how students at the University of Illinois feel about these historic times. When freshman Steven H. was asked his opinions on the topic of Gaddafi’s death, the most significant recent news event, he had these words to share, “You know, I never met the guy, but I had heard that he had done a lot of bad things. Murder, corruption - those words got thrown around a lot. So when I heard that he had died I thought, ‘Alright, that’s probably a good thing,’ but then I saw the video of him being thrown around and beaten, and it just made me really appreciate the fact that I don’t live in Libya. I mean, did you hear they stuck a knife in his butt? In his butt! I hope nobody ever sticks a knife in my butt, that’s why I’m not rushing a frat.” I found this response very interesting. Maybe when people see videos of horrible dictators being executed they actually feel some degree of empathy and abandon their judgments for the sake of humanity. “It really has nothing to do with that. I’m just glad that I can go to class and do homework to forget that shit like that actually happens.”
05: Appropriate First Date Topics “How big is it?” could refer to any number of things.
While Steven makes a few good points here, I figured that he probably didn't have as much invested in this event as some other students. I spoke with a member of Occupy Champaign to ask his opinion on the death of Gaddafi. After all, this event was the culmination of over a year of protesting, rioting, and rebellion. It shows the true power that protesting has in achieving a political end. Surely an Occupy supporter would have a few interesting words to say on the subject. “Yeah, I mean, I guess it’s pretty cool. Honestly, I saw the video, and it really freaked me out. Like, those rebels were super into it when they were killing that guy. It was weird. I mean, I love protesting and raging against the machine and such, but they really hurt that guy. Did you hear they even stuck a knife in his butt? I’m glad that the Occupy movement mostly entails drum circles and witty signs. There’s really nothing at stake, which is a relief. I just became a protester because I saw V for Vendetta and thought that protesting and throwing down the government would be super badass. But when it actually happens in the real world, there is a lot more pain and bloodshed. Like, actual bloodshed. I hope the Occupy movement is never that successful.”
08: Things They Don’t Tell You About Living With A Female Roommate pooping is no longer any fun.
continued on page 19
18: The Art of Drunk Arguing
When Mommy and Daddy do it, it’s just a lot of screaming and crying.