The Black Sheep • a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 3 3/22/12 - 4/12/12
Fr fouee...li nd! ke Oh tha wa t d it. olla .. it r b ’s a ill y poo ou j dol ust lar .
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheep_UGA
The Battle of Showercap riley humes wrote this
Every UGA student prepares long and hard for their first Battle of Showercap. After being defeated by the Battle of Frat Beach, and surrendering to Reading Day’s Eve, it seems clear that the party always wins, no matter how hard one tries. However, Showercap is not a fight to give up; as UGA’s biggest party of the year, it’s important to keep your head in the game as you head to the frat’s lawn that looks so very classy 364 days out of the year. So sound the reveille, the battle of Showercap is about to begin, and the army is ready. Research the Enemy: Phones will be eaten, shoes will be lost, clothing will be torn, you may or may not projectile vomit in a perfect arc over two girls after trying to bong beers out of something called The Octopus (if y’all are reading this, I am so, so sorry for that happening). You may pee your pants, you may hallucinate, you may very well think that you have been transported back to some sort of enclosed-area Woodstock-type festival. This is the closest you will ever get to being in Animal House, and the happiest you may ever be in your life. Never forget, this battle is rough, and SAE will likely defeat you. Come prepared to fight. Suit Up For Battle: Showercap features the most ridiculously dressed people you’ve ever seen. Anything and everything that has gone out of style is definitely a must for this event, so get your fanny packs, knee socks, vintage jerseys and hippie headbands out, and wear them all at once. This is the first plan of attack, and the secret is that it really doesn’t matter at all what you wear (honestly, shoes aren’t even necessary) as long as you’ve got a drink in hand. Artillery: The focal point of Showercap, and it can win you the fight or force your defeat by 3p.m., so choose wisely when you pack your cooler. This is a marathon, not a sprint, and it is imperative that you last all day. So if you’re the type of person who has an alter ego named Veronica that comes out after a few vodka shots, leave
Other stuff
Inside
Questions With Crow
the liquor at home and shoot for the 30-pack, she could lose this battle for you. The number one rule here is that you can never have enough libations, but you can have the wrong ones—just ask the girl asleep under a car at 2:30p.m. who lost her battle with her bladder and her gag reflex. Your Secret Weapon: Adderall or Publix subs. One of the two should be brought along for this epic journey, or else there is no possible way you’re going to make it all day. Imagine the envy of your peers when, just on the brink of
surrender, you whip out a turkey club or a superpill. Fuel! Power! Attack! You’re back in the game and ready to take on the rest of the day. Overall, the odds are against you, as Showercap always wins, and will continue to defeat the collegiate masses. But it’s a fight worth fighting, I can tell you that, and this will be the highlight of your spring whether you win or lose. This is a matter close to my heart, my soul, and my liver- so I’ll see you there, soldiers.
Ever wondered what @fakeisaiahcrow1 thinks of Nickelback?
... without knowing their name. and you thought your roommate was bad!
It’s not immature until you graduate. And even then...
see page 5
see page 6
see page 13
How to Live With Someone...
Get Foolish