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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 6 4/19/12 - 5/9/12
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheep_Clem
F.I.N.A.L.S.
ashley fitzpatrick wrote this
Whoa! Dude, it’s the last week of April and finals are the first week of May. Where did the year go? Days with friends turned into lost weeks, which have accumulated into a year only hazily remembered. The reality is that the end is here and so are finals. This means final grades. Scary, right? Finals hit you like a brick wall. Although they come and go each semester, they always loom over the last few weeks of school like a dark, fact-filled cloud. While we want to focus is on summer plans, trips, jobs and, internships - anything but the course load - it’s impossible to deny finals’ existence. Students on the weekend before finals are cramming to pack a box full of knowledge into the tiny envelope that is their brain. Some people have the luxury of exempting finals with an A, lucky S.O.Bs. For the rest of us, we have to study our asses off for the shit we never actually learnt during the semester. But there’s a way to combat the stress of finals even though that seems impossible, introducing the patented The Black Sheep F.I.N.A.L.S. System! Forward Thinking: First, try to get a jump on studying. Sure, you could spend your Monday night watching the latest episode of South Park. Or, on the other hand, you could make up a few flash cards during the commercial breaks. You don’t want to end up poor—and as a result, very dead—like Kenny, do you? Initiate Operation Schedule: Next, make yourself a schedule. Set aside time to study for whatever finals you have to take. Feel free to work in study breaks. There’s no shame in working in an hour-long hook-up session with a study buddy if you spent a few hours really hammering home Euclidian Geometry. God, math is so hot. No Cookout!: Third, get some exercise and eat healthy.
Other stuff
Inside
Dogs: A PSA
Superfoods like almonds, blueberries, and vegetables will increase brain stimulation and are healthy for you. Cake and beer are not. Exercising for at least 20 minutes will get your mind off the books and ease your stress. Angrily staring at a wall, thinking about how badly you’re going to fail this Bio exam will just make things worse. Ask for Help: If you’ve been sleeping through class all semester and really couldn’t even ballpark when the Victorian era occurred (Um...was Jesus involved?), ask your classmates or professors to help remind you what class it is that you’ve been using as a lullaby all year. Surely not everyone was sleeping, that would be awkward. Library Troll: Finals week is all about having the right environment to study in. Does your roommate make lots of noise when she empties the dishwasher? Eff that ish. Ditch the bedroom and head to the library. You can even rent
out a nice quiet room and start a study group with some kids in your class who are way smarter than you. Over the course of the study session sneak out with their notes and make photocopies. Give yourself an “A” for resourcefulness. Snag Some ZZZ’s: Lastly, get a good night’s sleep. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself. You may not be prepared, but you’ll be focused and alert, not floating through a dreamland of verb conjugation patterns. Take this advice and you’ll definitely be able to fit in the last party and still do well in your classes. Plus, everyone parties after finals because no one wants to leave Clemson. And if they say they do they are lying. Do well in school, make mom and dad proud, and then reward yourself after! And remember, F.I.N.A.L.S!
You try to avoid how cute and cuddly they are, okay?
They make more money, date prettier people, go cooler places... yeah, screw them all!
seriously, How do they just keep multiplying???
see page 4
see page 5
see page 9
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