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Volume 2, Issue 5 3/29/12 - 4/18/12
A Guide to Scheduling Your Classes chris dart wrote this
With the spring semester about to enter the homestretch towards summertime, this means soon we will all be fully engulfed in the most horrible week of the year. No, I’m not talking about midterms. Not even finals. I’m talking, of course, about the dreaded Registration Week. This is the week where we have to box-out our fellow students in order to sign up for that painful 30-minute meeting with our advisor to talk about what classes we plan on taking next semester. It’s not enough that we’re just coming off of the stress from midterms, that we’re still recovering from spring break and that we are returning to every project and paper’s due date being in one fucking week. Let’s go ahead and make Registration Week at the exact same time. Yeah, that’s a great idea. Lucky for you, The Black Sheep has decided to make this process a little less stressful by providing you with a guide on how to schedule your classes easily and efficiently. Your first tool is the Major Requirements Form. Figure out what you have to take. If you need a 4-hour science class with a lab, it’s probably not a good idea to take it with a 4-hour language requirement with a lab. That means you’re spending a ton of time at lab and not enough time at home drinking beer. Also, if you don’t have to take bowling, then don’t fucking take bowling. Taking a 1-hour Leisure Skills course adds 2-plus hours to your schedule and only gives you 1 hour of elective credit. Not worth it. The next tool is the list of classes. Look at the times for your possible classes. Friday classes suck. Are you really gonna want to wake up at 8a.m. on a Friday to go listen about the history of Japan? No, you’re not. You’re gonna want to go pee your morning wood off and go back to sleep. Look for Tuesday-Thursday classes as much as you can. Scheduling 5 T-TH classes while you have only 1 class on M-W-F means you’ve got two days of really shitty hard work per week. Yeah, they’re busy as a beaver (thanks mom), but then you have M-W-F to sleep or do homework or watch Price is Right all day. Two really busy days beats five sorta busy days any day of the week. The third tool you can use to your advantage is RateMyProfes-
Other stuff
Inside
sors.com. Read reviews about your professors from other kids who have already had them. Thinking about taking English 215 with Professor Cockanballs? (not a real person). Do some research first and find out if she is easy, hard, sexy, helpful, speaks English or ever answers emails. If you could find out if your potential professor is a total d-bag before actually being enrolled in his class, wouldn’t you want to? Use this site. The last tools you can use to your advantage are your friends. Ask people in your classes if they know any super easy classes. Be like “Hey, who is here has taken this class? Is it easy?” Instant firsthand feedback on class content and professor douchbaggieness. It’s like your own personal RateMyProfes-
Overall, the goal is to graduate. So why would you waste your time taking unnecessarily hard classes with dirt bag teachers when you could be taking sure-thing A’s while completing the exact same requirement? Overall, the goal should be to focus on the classes that actually matter (the required ones) and say “fuck it” to the ones that don’t (the electives). Because when it comes down to electives, don’t be afraid to put more research into finding the class than you do in the actual class. Oh yeah, and screw you Registration Week.
Nike workout shorts are being abused. Cue the Sarah McLachlan music.
Become the Boy Scout of the Bar life. see page 5
Your shirt no longer has to be a Maxi Pad for back sweat.
see page 4
The Spring Nemesis: Back Sweat
sors.com but you can tell if the person you’re asking is a total douche and just loves shitty classes or if they’re normal and a reliable source of information.
The Night Out Survival Kit
see page 13
Saving the Nort