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BACK IN BLACK What to look for on The Black Keys’ latest album El Camino

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Student found dead in home after night out

Consumer Affairs major will likely be cut By Anna Duffin THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Consumer Affairs major in UW-Madison’s School of Human Ecology is likely to be cut due to a lack of funding. SoHE Dean Robin Douthitt said SoHE administration has requested the University Academic Planning Committee cease admissions to the major, which is typically the first step in eliminating programs. Douthitt said there are currently 11 vacant faculty positions within the program and only enough money to fill about four of the positions. “We have to make some pretty serious budget cuts and we’re at the point right now where we have cut to the bone and the only place we have to turn now are eliminating faculty lines,” Douthitt said. “If we eliminate faculty lines, we have to eliminate programs; we don’t have the luxury of doing anything else.” Academic Planning Committee member Laura Dunek said the committee will likely grant SoHE’s request to cease admissions. “There’s no funding for these programs and without funding, from a reality standpoint, the programs are dead,” Dunek said. Even if the program is eliminated, the more than 160 students enrolled in the major will be allowed to complete their degrees. Maddy Krueger, a junior in the

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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

currently awaiting results from toxicology tests. The death of 23-year-old Zach “We have nothing at this Zenk is under investigation point to suggest anything susafter the UW-Madison picious took place,” senior was found dead DeSpain added. in his home early last Zach was an aspirweek, campus and city ing history major with officials said Monday. a passion for computers His sister, Rebecca and web design. Zenk, said her brother “He was very carefree went out to celebrate a and positive,” Rebecca friend’s acceptance to said. “He was sort of sara program and “he got castic, very funny, just ZENK a little too drunk and, made everyone laugh.” well, not a little too Jacob Dorff, a friend drunk—he got pretty drunk,” from grade school, also recalled she said. Zach’s carefree attitude and A friend took Zenk home, sense of humor, describing a put him to bed, brought him a time in high school when Zach glass of water and asked him if and his group of friends decidhe needed anything. ed to paint his car hot pink. “[Zach] said ‘no,’ and then he “I don’t know what posjust fell asleep,” Rebecca said. sessed us to do that, but Zach After he failed to answer drove and loved that car for phone calls or go to work, Zenk the next three years,” Dorff was found in his room “a day or recalled. “Zach had a knack for two later” by his girlfriend, who having fun that was truly onecalled the police, Rebecca said. in-a-million.” The Dane County Medical Memorial services will be Examiner’s office told The Daily held at 11:00 a.m. Tuesday at Cardinal an investigation is cur- the Schumacher-Kish Funeral rently underway, but the cause of Home in La Crosse. death has not yet been determined. UW-Madison’s Division of Madison Police Department Student Life is offering counpublic information officer Joel seling services to any students DeSpain said investigators are who need it.



Chancellor David Ward said faculty need to consider ways to improve education in light of budget cuts.

Faculty Senate: UW needs state support By Cheyenne Langkamp THE DAILY CARDINAL

The UW-Madison Faculty Senate passed a second resolution officially addressing the decline in state budget support for higher education Monday. The resolution asks the governor and the Wisconsin legislature to help “[sustain] top quality higher education institutions in Wisconsin” by providing sufficient funding to help UW-Madison fulfill its

“core missions.” Brad Barham, chair of the Faculty Senate’s University Committee, brought the resolution before the senate. “At the last meeting we got a suggestion of coming up with a motion that gave more guts behind the problems we face,” Barham said. “This document reflects that effort.” The resolution specifically

budget page 3

The Onion’s visit to UW met with laughs By Kelly Kallien THE DAILY CARDINAL

“Study: Dolphins are not so intelligent on land,” read the headline of a groundbreaking new finding, as featured in The Onion. This was just one of the nearly 20 clips the satirical newspaper’s Editor in Chief shared with a packed auditorium roaring with laughter Monday. The lecture, which featured Editor in Chief Joe Garden and former Editor in Chief Carol Kolb, both UW-Madison alumni, concluded the student organized Distinguished Lecture Series for the fall semester. After sharing false headlines published in their newspaper, including a story about a 500 foot Osama Bin Laden terrorizing New York City, Garden and Kolb gave some insight on how the nation’s most well-known satirical newspaper runs.

Although The Onion’s popular coverage of false news is responsible for drawing in approximately “100 trillion readers” every day, Garden said accurate research is involved while writing a story. Kolb added the newspaper has never been sued for writing false stories. “If your joke isn’t accurate, it’s not going to be as funny,” Garden said. Instead of writing “news” other publications deem most important, Garden said The Onion covers “whatever I happen to be obsessed with at any given time.” He added the staff writes some of the stories well in advance of publication. Not restricting its humor just to print news, The Onion’s streams online broadcast news on The Onion News Network. Kolb said although ONN’s news segments are not as elaborate as television satire, such as John Stewart’s “The Daily Show,” its online presence has helped increase


Editor in Chief Alumni Joe Garden and former Editor in Chief Carol Kolb of The Onion presented clips from the magazine and gave insight on how the publication functions.

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

page two Insomnia: Curse of the writer tODAY: partly cloudy hi 32º / lo 15º



wednesDAY: partly cloudy hi 31º / lo 17º

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892 Volume 121, Issue 63

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Editorial Board Matt Beaty • Nick Fritz Kayla Johnson • Miles Kellerman Steven Rosenbaum • Nico Savidge Ariel Shapiro • Samantha Witthuhn

Elliot Ignasiak ignastrodamous


t was the curse of the artist yet again. After a week of wondering what the hell I should write for my next column, an idea finally hit me—it was 3:43 a.m. When creative blocks happen, it is often advised that one stops trying to be witty or original and simply return to his roots, what he knows best. If there was anything that I knew best recently, it was not sleeping. I had drifted in and out of a light, non-refreshing sleep all night. Finally, I found inspiration as I suddenly lay wide awake drenched in a cold sweat, unable to fall back asleep for the sixth night in a row. Note: this exaggeration is only slight. Everything here is true minus the cold sweat part—it was actually a warm sweat. However, I figured that if I am going to turn my troubling inability to sleep into positive thing by writing a column about it, I could at least take the creative license to quote a Thin Lizzy song (a thing I know quite well—rockin’ guitar music).

If there were no exaggerations of truth, this would just turn into a bitch fest about my insomnia due to my apparent pre-menopausal hot flashes. As a writer/comedian/musician, being awake at night is nothing new to me. I’d always thought that astrology was just a bullshit way to sell Cosmo magazines, but now I swear my creativity comes from the planets, stars and moon. Like a drug, something about the night seems to open the mind up to possibilities not available during the day. Many times I’d gladly missed a night of sleep to finish a new song or comedy routine. However, after days turn into weeks and then turn into months of shitty sleep, I’ve begun to wonder why I can’t just be like normal people and get my best ideas while taking a shower or sitting in a boring chemistry lecture. The worst part is that while I’ve come down from the creative high, the sleeplessness has stayed. Most people seem to desire this situation—to be able to stay awake at night and be productive yet be full of energy during the day. Imagine a few nights of writing term papers without even needing the extra jolt of caffeine or Ritalin and then being able to unwind by riding a mechanical bull at Whiskey River

during the weekend. But just like your first blissful love or those persistent and embarrassing erections you used to get in junior high for no reason, when it comes to sleep you just don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Without sleep, days blend into one another; reality seems less real without the rest or closure sleep affords.

I had drifted in and out of a light, nonrefreshing sleep all night.

Not sleeping makes me question why anyone would want to live forever. Although, that certainly is not a worry I’ll be adding to my list of things that keep me awake at night…. Like many of my creative idols, I’m starting to think I’ll die young. However, unlike Hendrix who choked on his own vomit, Randy Rhoads who went

down ablaze in a plane crash or even Tupac who died in the midst of an East Coast vs. West Coast showdown, my cause of death will simply be the result of a lack of sleep. I’m not sure that’s dramatic enough to earn me the prestige of the “young artist, full of unlimited potential that will never be realized, tragically taken from us too early” title that often accompanies premature deaths. If you’ve made it this far I thank you for still reading. As this was my most personal, genuine article, I’ve feared that few people would read this through as it would only be relatable to other insomniacs or artists. To those of you who were expecting some grand punchline or witty wrap-up, there is none. I only hope that this article has been mildly entertaining enough for you to continue to read my future ones. I didn’t intend to bore you with my melodramatic “I’m an artist who can’t seem to get a good night’s rest, cry for me” tone. However, if this article has been so dry it has managed to lull you to sleep, all I have to say is: “You’re Welcome, you Lucky Bastard.” Got some boring reading material that will put Elliot to sleep? Send it his way at eignasiak@

The perks of my dreaded fate meg burnton guest columnist

the start of a break.

For some reason, I always end up being one of the last people on campus at the beginning of a break, whether it be Thanksgiving, finals or spring break, I’m here. I wonder what I did in this life or a past one to make the scheduling gods so angry with me that I wound up in this hot mess of a situation (read: me alone on the second floor of the College Library quiet room at 6:00 p.m.). Yet, as much as I hate having to stay on campus while you’re at home—being fed homemade seven-layer bars by your parents while you watch the justreleased DVD of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows—Part Two” and sip on gourmet hot chocolate next to a fire they lit in the basement so your feet don’t get cold—I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ve become this school’s bitch, and it has a number of perks. Here are some of the advantages of being one of the last people to leave Madison before

Flyin’ solo at College Library:

The Library is never crowded. Not having to to worry about finding a seat or, god forbid, an outlet for your computer Definitely a positive when you’re cramming for your last final. Also, the majority of people in the library this late in the game are usually not super attractive, thus fewer distractions and more As (who am I kidding, Bs). Disadvantage: There’s still that one bitch who won’t turn her phone on silent. As much of a fan I am of Kim Possible, that ringtone is no longer super awesome after hearing it ring every single time someone gets a text. Plus, everyone has that ringtone now. So please stop.

Leg room on the bus home:

Instead of those weekend trips home when you are forced to sit with some non-student who reeks of McDonald’s and has no understanding of the concept of “personal space,” you finally get some leg room. This is also way better

than sitting next to a random student who you 1) awkwardly avoid eye contact and the accidental arm/ leg brush with while using your computers simultaneously, (one of the most stressful situations since my ninth grade semi-formal) or 2) the awkwardly drawn-out conversation with that one kid you only slightly know, so you have to talk but you don’t have enough in common to talk for the whole five-hour bus ride home.

I wonder what I did in this life or a past one to make the scheduling gods so angry with me that I wound up in this hot mess of a situation. None of these situations is ideal, which is why I love riding the bus home as one of the last people on

campus­—there is a 95 percent chance you will get the whole row all to your diva self. If there ever was a time to say first world problems, this would be it. Feel free to be slightly less uncomfortable with one less kink in your neck and legs stretched out almost fully but not quite because, damn, these seats are small.

Extra lovin’ when you arrive home:

Coming home feels great because, in addition to being done with finals/midterms/classes, you also had to go through the extra pain of being stuck at school longer. Your parents give you an extra seven-layer bar, two blankets instead of one and whipped cream on top of your cup of hot chocolate. It’s a pretty good deal in my book. The book that I’m reading alone. In the library. Alone. As the last person on campus. Stuck in the Memorial Library cages until Dec. 23 as well? Shoot Meg an e-mail at mburnton@wisc. edu and begin stocking up on Red Vines and caffeine for the arduous weeks ahead.

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Does your roomie frequently eat slabs of bologna? Your brother hide Kraft singles in your pillow when you were a wee one?

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Tuesday, December 6, 2011




Colon disease puts Justice Prosser on leave for month Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser will not take up any new cases for the rest of the month because he is recovering from a colon ailment, according to the Associated Press. Without Prosser, whose votes usually favor conservative viewpoints, the court could split 3-3. Doctors diagnosed him with diverticulutus, a condition when small pouches in the colon become inflamed. He spent six days in the hospital, according to the AP.

In response to Prosser’s absence, a Republican group withdrew a lawsuit Nov. 21 with the Supreme Court. The lawsuit contended that recall elections occurring before November 2012 should be held in new legislative districts. They also requested to have a similar lawsuit filed in Waukesha County be conducted by a Waukesha County judge. Originally, they wanted the Supreme Court to create a three judge panel from across the state.

N. Lake resident followed, attacked DAVEN HINES/THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Board of Estimates moved to approve the creation of a daytime resource center for homeless people downtown administered by the homelessness nonprofit Porchlight, Inc.

BOE recommends creation of daytime homeless shelter By Ben Siegel THE DAILY CARDINAL

A unanimous vote at the Madison Board of Estimates meeting Monday to recommend the establishment of a downtown, daytime homeless shelter will bring the resolution in front of the City Council for approval. In light of limited daytime accommodations available to homeless individuals downtown, the resolution to turn over a municipal property at 754 East Washington to homeless assistance nonprofit Porchlight Inc. as a daytime shelter was passed. Under the resolution, the daytime shelter would be open nine hours a day, seven days a week and offer resources such as job counseling to patrons. With the closing of the Capitol basement to the gen-


Union plans moving forward


eral public last winter during protests and the relocation of the Madison Central Library to a smaller facility for the duration of the branch’s renovation, downtown’s homeless have been denied access to two sanctuaries where they have traditionally congregated during the year’s most inhospitable months, according to Madison resident David Peters. “When I see people freezing on the street, to me that’s a grave injustice, and something needs to be done about it,” he said to the BOE Monday. Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4, views the resolution as a step in the right direction. “It’s something that, sadly, we need to do. It’s the reality of the situation in terms of the homeless population we have downtown,” Verveer said.

Opening a day shelter will help Madison’s homeless weather the winter, but Verveer acknowledged that the resolution fails to address the larger question of homelessness in downtown Madison. “I would not say that there are a sufficient number of homeless shelter beds in Madison,” he said. “There are existing homeless shelters in downtown Madison—overnight shelters that operate year-round—but this [resolution] doesn’t deal with the nighttime issue whatsoever.” The city’s failure to open monitored homeless shelters will only continue to drive downtown’s homeless to find refuge “wherever they can, ”Peter said. “[Homeless people] need a homeless shelter, and they needed it yesterday.”

consumer from page 1

Douthitt said while she and other SoHE faculty did not want to cut the program, they had few other options. “We have to come to terms with all the reductions that have been made in our budget,” Douthitt said. “Any time that we reduce options for undergraduate students it’s very serious and it’s not anything that any of us are pleased about at all, but we simply do not have the resources.”

Consumer Affairs program, said the program gives students who are not admitted to the Business School another option to gain experience in the business field. “You learn how to interact with customers rather than just learning the practices of business, which I really like because it’s more of a hands-on approach,” Krueger said. “I feel like it’s more practical learning.”

budget from page 1 cites decreases in funding and increases in tuition as problems for students, as well as the problem with job creation and stability for UW faculty and staff. In dealing with the cuts, Chancellor David Ward said the university needs to learn how to cut costs while also advancing learning by making education university resources more efficient. “If we don’t show that we can actually respond to this I don’t believe there is another dime to be had in public investment in higher education,” Ward said.

Ward said faculty senators should “try to enter the mind of the entering student and see if that can really provoke change.” Faculty Senator Sarah Goldrick-Rab said university officials need to discuss restructuring higher education. “There are so many people thinking about these issues in the for-profit sector and right now they’re leading the way,” Goldrick-Rab said. “They’re setting the tone and it’s their ideas that are driving this and you should be driving it instead.” The senate will continue a discussion of educational innovation in future meetings.

A Madison man suffered a broken nose and other head injuries early Saturday morning after a stranger followed him home and punched him in the face three times. Police said the victim, 20, was taken to the hospital when police arrived at his N. Lake Street apartment to find the suspect, 23, still banging on the man’s door, swearing and saying, “You’re going to get it.” According to police, the victim said he encountered the suspect trying to get into a bar at 2:30 a.m. and told the suspect it was after bar time.

“[The victim] said the suspect thought he was trying to be smart with him, which he assured he was not,” Madison Police Department Spokesperson Joel DeSpain said in a statement. Police said the suspect then followed the victim home and punched him three times in the face while the victim attempted to enter his building. When police arrived, the suspect was intoxicated and said he was trying to get into his friend’s place, although he later acknowledged he was not attempting to do so.

Teenager arrested for armed robbery Police arrested a Madison teenager Friday morning for a strong-armed robbery after stealing a 14-year-old’s iPod touch on a Madison Metro bus the afternoon of Nov. 29. Police said the victim had been listening to his iPod Touch when the suspect, 15, grabbed it from his pocket and quickly got off at a bus stop near the arboretum. The victim followed the suspect off the bus and caught up with him. The victim refused to fight for the iPod as the suspect suggested, and

called police instead. When contacted Friday morning, the suspect “seemed a little foggy about the crime,” so the officer played the bus surveillance video for him. “The suspect said that was not him taking the iPod,” Madison Police Department Spokesperson Joel DeSpain said in a statement. “The officer asked if he had a twin. [The suspect] said he had a couple of them.”   Police said the arresting officer was unconvinced and arrested the teen.



SSFC Chair Sarah Neibart said a service to help students find internship opportunities would benefit students. + Photo by Daven Hines

arts Leading mad men of hip-hop and TV 4


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Alex Seraphin song of the seraph


cess of an intangible, shamanistic mass trance cast by an invariably Draperian persona. On Nov. 15, R&B superstar Drake released his second effort Take Care, while newcomer Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover) released Camp. On its surface, Drake and Glover’s coinciding release date could be construed as a sea of change in modern hip-hop’s landscape, a coincidental aligning of the stars not implausibly signaling a new era of rap stardom. The similarities between Drake and Glover cannot be ignored. The two rappers share backgrounds as actors. More notably, both have reputations as best-selling hip-hop idols who white kids relate to. Although he rarely calls attention to the fact, the young man born Aubrey Drake Graham was raised by his white Jewish mother in an affluent Toronto suburb. His sing-songy lyrics exclusively engage with subjects as familiar to white-washed people than to the average black person, Jay and Ye’s post-modern royal court precluded. Throughout Take Care, Drake copes with the dehumanization of celebrity, a pattern of estrangement from old flames, and overabundance of unchallenging sexual conquest. On the album’s very first track, he half-heartedly grumbles/boasts about his sixfigure tax load. (Such are the bur-

dens of the Canadian nation’s free health care.) Glover, on the other hand, relentlessly struggles with his racial identity, especially on Camp. Glover re-appropriates the term “Oreo” on the record half a dozen times. Throughout, he lashes out at the bloggers and childhood bullies who used to claim that he wasn’t black or tough enough to succeed as a rapper. His insecurity contrasts sharply with Drake’s cool, soul-searching confidence. On the uncommonly restrained first verse of “All the Shine,” Glover lays down his M.O. “What’s the point of rapping if you can’t be yourself? ... I know it’s lame, that’s the reason I’m doing it. / So why does everyone have a problem with rapping stupid shit? ‘Cause sometimes that stupid shit is real shit.” Glover values authenticity over Draperian super-poise. Arguably, Glover has staked out the braver position in the fast-approaching war for hip-hop’s soul. And yet, as I compare Drake’s stoic minimalism and Glover’s admirably enthusiastic overreach, I can’t help but be more greatly allured by Take Care’s stronger and sexier texture. Like it or not, Drake exudes relaxation and an otherworldly charismatic self-assurance. He struggles for honest integrity but remains ruled by his lust for women and all that glitters gold. To my ears, he sounds a lot like

Don Draper. In a swirl of drunken half-consciousness stuck between two ear buds, Drake might sound like the lady-killing embodiment of confidence, a force one could capture and harness given the right mixture. Last Saturday, I wore a blue suit and a skinny tie. I’ll leave the evening’s details to your imagination. Interested in the gritty details? E-mail Alex at photo courtesy Lionsgate television

ast Saturday, a number of Daily Cardinal-associated folk met up for a vaguely “Mad Men”-themed classy Christmas party. While I was pregaming in my blue-suit-and-skinny-tie combo, a friend observed that I had been acting remarkably somber in light of Russell Wilson and Co.’s epic late-breaking beatdown of Michigan State earlier that evening. He suggested that I needed to get out of character and act more like my goofy, excitable self. Since my introduction to “Mad Men” six months ago, I have found myself continually entrenched in an ideological sparring match with the series’ avatar of unrestrained masculinity, Don Draper. The character appeals to the same power-fantastical middle-American urge that got the kids hot for Sean Connery’s chauvinistic antics in roughly the same time period that paradoxically saw perhaps the most notable confluence of bra-burnings in history. Fans of the show adore Draper. Even more than the show’s slick aesthetic or the sometimes-subtle social commentary layered throughout, Draper defines “Mad Men” and ensures its continued

popularity. His extraordinarily stoic assuredness and sensitive intelligence attract, even as his brash, selfish disregard for his wife’s and coworkers’ emotions shocks the conscience. Draper seems less a fully developed human being than a hyperbolic distillation of an archetype with a primal subconscious intensity. Draper exemplifies unreachable freedom, insatiable appetites fulfilled. He disappears for weeks. He seduces women with remarkable style and callous indifference. All the while, he remains sympathetic because of his artistic capability and his remarkable adherence to an unconventional but readily apparent sense of integrity. Draper, despite his destructive passions, respects the women he isn’t bedding and is capable of isolated incidents of uncommon compassion. I find that my conflicted objections and simultaneous, sincere attraction to Draper run parallel to my feelings concerning of a number of hip-hop stars. Something intrinsic or extrinsic about convincingly spitting rough-hewn poetry over samples and beats seems to entail a persona like Draper’s. Hip-hop stars require an extreme verbal intelligence and seemingly an ungodly pocketful of swaggering, misogynistic bravado. Until recently, one could count on any particular rap career living or dying by the suc-

On the Skinny

The suave swagger of Don Draper permeates the lyrics of rappers Childish Gambino and Drake.

Listen here Childish Gambino’s latest album, Camp, and Drake’s latest album, Take Care were both released this fall. Check ‘em out on music-sharing sites or iTunes. Also worth a look is Drake’s music video for “Take Care,” featuring Rihanna.

El Camino makes for smooth ride and a smoother listen By Sean Reichard The Daily Cardinal


El Camino The Black Keys The trouble with two-piece groups is ensuring that their sound doesn’t stagnate. The White Stripes learned this the hard way when their career trailed off after 2007’s Icky Thump. And for a while, it seemed like The Black Keys (guitarist Dan Auerbach and drummer Patrick Carney) were in a similar situation. Purveyors of a ferocious brand of blues-rock, with 2006 ’s Magic Potion, they were at the end of their rope. Something needed to change. This change came with their first album with Danger Mouse, 2008’s Attack & Release, removed much of The Black Keys’ bite (namely Dan Auerbach’s guitar) and replaced it with added instrumentation and psychedelic-tinged orchestration. Overall, it gave the impression of a paisley lace doily—pert and intricate but all frills and light substance. Brothers, released in 2010, on the other hand, beefed up those frills, incorporating a more supple R&B and soul sound. But it didn’t play to the band’s strengths (yet again,

Auerbach’s guitar). Brothers yielded a few good songs (“Tighten Up,” “Everlasting Light”), and a few intriguing ones, but it was otherwise— to co-opt another song title— “Black Mud.” The trouble with those records lie not in Danger Mouse’s retro fetishism as a production style but in The Black Keys themselves. Even at their bluesiest (2004’s Rubber Factory) and their most low-down (2002’s garage blues The Big Come Up) Auerbach and Carney never sounded particularly retro. So, while Danger Mouse’s presence lent a greater full-

ness to their sound, Attack & Release and Brothers were the products of a stifled band. El Camino, however, manages to avoid the pitfalls of their previous collaborations with Danger Mouse. Much of the muck that mired Brothers and the folksy excesses of Attack & Release have been pared down or stripped away; El Camino is all rev and rush. With Danger Mouse at the helm again, there are those retro touches—organs, handclaps, backing vocals—but they are employed judiciously. Like the best of The Black Keys’ catalog, this album bruises and bludgeons in all

the right ways. Opener “Lonely Boy” sets the tone for the record: a low and pulverizing riff, thumping drums, the occasional organ blast and backing vocals—it is one of the loudest, fastest songs in The Black Keys’ repertoire. The third song, “Gold On The Ceiling,” is a low-down groove, with a blistering lead by Auerbach. “Run Right Back” would fit perfectly on a classic rock station, with its fuzzed out riff; “Sister” is a primal disco piece, with Carney’s drums romping along with the plodding baseline; the finale “Mind Eraser” is positively sun-kissed. Photo Courtesy nonesuch records

Dan Auerbach (guitar/vocals) and Patrick Carney (drums) may be a two-man band, but on El Camino they bring out a full, get-on-your-feet sound with the help of producer Danger Mouse.

Interestingly, blues is no longer the aural touchstone, leastwise not the blues the band mined early in their career. The album, while less finicky and precise than their previous works with Danger Mouse, still retains that retro clarity inherent in his production. El Camino recalls the spirit of ‘70s music—primarily groups like the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. The comparison isn’t clear-cut; El Camino shows no strains of decadence or lassitude, à la Hotel California or Rumours. Instead, it mines the same feelings and sound without being trapped in the era. In that way, El Camino is like the ideal compromise between the hard-edged days of their first albums and their time with Danger Mouse—the melding of gritty blues-rock and cultured retro ambiance. This is evident on “Little Black Submarines,” the album’s highlight. It starts slow: Auerbach strumming an acoustic guitar, plying a telephone operator to put him back on the line with his girl. Carney’s drums and an organ enter, and the song becomes a quiet march. There is a sense of foreboding, mounting tension. Halfway through, it slows and stops. A second of silence, then Auerbach’s electric guitar kickstarts the song again, and the song rollicks like the deluge of a wrecked levee—and The Black Keys ride it out to its peak. Grade: A

opinion Personhood wrong focus for state GOP

Mary Sedarous opinion columnist


bortion: my favorite thing to watch people bicker about via the comfortable anonymity of the Internet. Discourse in various comment sections and discussion boards has enlightened me to the fact that pro-choice liberals are “cold-hearted baby-killers,” while pro-life conservatives are “soulless misogynistic slavers.” This surprised me, because, I had always thought of liberals as those friendly tree-huggers and conservatives as the freedom lovers. But honestly, such conversation made me realize one thing: Any politically tinged discussion on the issue of abortion is utterly worthless nowadays. Why does this topic have no chance of advancing political debate? Nobody will accept that ‘the other side’ has any valid points because both sides have their own respective absolutes: the absolute choice of the woman or the absolute life of the child. Consequently, nothing will be accomplished unless one group has the necessary brute power. But as fruitless and worth-

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

less debating abortion may be, the issue will continue to haunt political theater for years to come. In fact, the Wisconsin’s legislature brought the issue back in the form of the so-called ‘personhood amendment.’ According to the legislative Reference Bureau, “The constitution states that all people are born equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights, among which is the right to life. This constitutional amendment, proposed to the 2011 legislature on first consideration, replaces the phrase ‘are born equally free and independent’ with the phrase ‘are equally free and independent’ and defines the terms ‘people’ and ‘person’ with respect to the right to life to include every human being at any stage of development.” Perhaps the most delightful thing about this proposal is that it was created with the full knowledge that it would get absolutely nowhere. I have to tip my hat to state Sen. Glenn Grothman, R-West Bend, and state Reps. Andre Jacque, R-Bellevue, Daniel LeMahieu, R-Cascade, Donald Pridemore, R-Hartford, and the bill’s other Republican cosponsors for so courageously putting their names on top of a document that is so bla-

tantly meant to waste the Legislature’s time. In fact, I have to commend any male politicians in this country who come up with abortion-related legislation without the participation of even one woman. Who better to come up with laws that strictly regulate the body than those whose bodies will never be affected by them? Male politicians will never have to experience physically the abortion procedure, nor will they ever experience the emotional struggle a woman must face when she considers having an abortion because she has been raped or is too young or physically weak to complete a pregnancy. Therefore, male politicians can easily pretend there are no shades of gray in the morality or necessity of terminating a pregnancy and simply do away with abortion alto-

gether—without being affected in the slightest. Those Republican legislators’ disconnect with abortion must also be the reason the change to the constitution is so dangerously imprecise and interpretable. The best example of the bill’s vagueness is that it never defines how exactly to interpret the phrase, “Every human being at any stage of development.” I have to wonder where the starting point for, “Any stage of development” really is. Normally, I would assume they are referring to the scientific starting point of the human body—the joining of the sperm cell and the egg—but they’re politicians, and I can’t expect any sound scientific reasoning from them. This leads me to believe that the personhood bestowed on, “Every human being at any stage of development” could



eventually apply to the individual sperm or egg. Technically, they each have the potential to form a human and could therefore be considered a human at a very early stage of development. Of course, this is absolutely ridiculous, but this is a vague proposal. In the end, this so-called “personhood amendment” is a pointless imitation of the Mississippi’s failed attempt at its own constitutional amendment. If politicians are truly pro-life, they should work on improving society by increasing people’s access to health care, education and jobs so fewer women feel pressured into having an abortion. That would be some legislation worth working on. Mary Sedarous is a freshman with an undeclared major. Please send all feedback to opinion@

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But I thought tomatoes were fruits? Due to a new law, anything with two tablespoons of tomato sauce is now classified as a vegetable. This includes pizza.

6 • Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Just dandy

Today’s Sudoku

Evil Bird

By Caitlin Kirihara

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Eatin’ Cake

By Dylan Moriarty

Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Tanked Life

By Steven Wishau

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Caved In

Answer key available at

FIRST TIME BASIS ACROSS 1 Bitter to the taste 6 “___ la vista, baby!” 11 Not quite right, as a musical note 14 “Gay” city in a Cole Porter song 15 Not exactly a brainiac 16 Tell it like it isn’t 17 Iran-Contra Affair figure 19 “Rub-a-dub-dub, three men ____ tub” 20 Evil old women 21 Largest human gland 23 Wearing away by friction 27 Mark over a vowel 29 Experience anew 30 Yardsticks 33 Draw ___ in the sand 34 Water slide feature 35 Canonized mlle. 36 Rescue 37 “___ Were the Days” 38 For men only 39 A hot time, in France 40 Adjective for coffee, jig or whiskey 41 A question of possession 42 Mocking 44 “Shot Heard ‘Round the World” pitcher Ralph 45 Figure of speech

6 1853-56 War 4 47 Nile dam 49 Illegally lend a hand 50 Hit the slopes 51 Stan Laurel’s co-star 58 ‘Twas in the present? 59 Word with “postage” or “parking” 60 Accustom to hardship (Var.) 61 Queen of the hill? 62 Decade components 63 Dunkable item DOWN 1 G.I.’s mail drop 2 Ripken, the Baltimore legend 3 “___ tu” (Verdi aria) 4 Prepare to burn rubber 5 Abode that’s all abuzz 6 Door part 7 Commotions of Shakespearean proportions? 8 Walter Raleigh or Walter Scott 9 Nursery moppet 10 Any Olympian 11 Best Director, twice 12 Exquisite 13 Adrenaline trigger 18 Enthusiastic thumbsup review 22 “Now ___ seen everything!”

Bleeped out Have a connection Dickens opus ___ qua non Hairdresser’s implement 28 Observance 30 Picked out 31 Source of the Mississippi 32 Sea separating Greece from Turkey 34 Onion cousin 37 Fall start? 38 Pillow cover 40 Equality of political rights 41 Squirmed in pain 43 Nest egg component, briefly 44 “Song of the South” title for Rabbit or Fox 46 Radio-active truckers? 47 Dog in “The Thin Man” 48 Tattooist’s surface 49 State point-blank 52 Bruce of kung fu films 53 Make-double connector 54 Enero begins it 55 Jog 56 “Red River” actress Joanne 57 “Is it soup ___?”

Crustaches Classic

By Nick Kryshak

By Patrick Remington

3 2 24 25 26 27

Washington and the Bear

By Derek Sandberg


Tuesday, December 6, 2011



Men’s Basketball

Wisconsin ready to move past disappointing losses By Peter Geppert The Daily Cardinal

At the beginning of last week the Wisconsin men’s basketball (6-2 overall) team was playing as well as any team in the country. Coming off a Chicago Invitational where they scored wins over Brigham Young and Bradley the Badgers were ranked No. 7 by the coaches poll heading into their toughest week of the young college basketball season. Whatever momentum the team had built going into last week was lost following two defeats by the No. 6 North Carolina Tar Heels and the No. 11 Marquette Golden Eagles. “It certainly was not for a lack of effort,” head coach Bo Ryan said. We were in a position twice where we came back to get within a point [in both games]. I liked some of the things I saw, but there are some things we have to work on.” The biggest difference between last week’s games against North Carolina and Marquette and the rest of the season was the team’s threepoint shooting. The Badgers shot a combined 27 percent behind the arc last week, whereas prior to that week

Wisconsin had been averaging well above 40 percent from long range. “All shooters are somewhat streaky,” Ryan said. “But some shooters have proven that they are streakier than others. Certainly [sophomore guard] Ben [Brust] is like that, [senior guard] Jordan [Taylor] and [sophomore guard] Josh [Gasser] are like that also.” Guard play was a point of weakness for the Badgers, as they often looked overmatched off the dribble by the faster and more athletic guards of Marquette and North Carolina. Marquette guards senior Darius Johnson-Odom, sophomore Vander Blue and freshman Todd Mayo were consistently able to drive to the basket and combined to score 40 of the Golden Eagles’ 61 points. One player who was cited as a potential difference maker for Badger backcourt was supersub Brust. “We’ve had sixth men in the past who brought things to the court,” Ryan said. “Michael Flowers brought defense. Jason Bohannon was like that in the beginning of his career. But like the rest of the team Ben is improving on defense.” At this stage in the season

Ryan said that there are many aspects of the team that need to be developed before conference play begins. “You’re always trying to reward the right things,” Ryan said. “If you want A you don’t reward B because that is what you will get on the court.” “If you want a player who is good at both ends and is relatively skilled, you always need to develop the total player,” Ryan added. “We knew we had to replace a lot of minutes from last year with guys who need to get better. The key is to reward things that you want.” Defensively, Ryan felt like the team performed well against the potent offenses of Marquette and North Carolina who, coming into their contests with the Badgers, were both ranked in the top 10 in the country in scoring. “Defensively we stuck to our rules,” Ryan said. “But we didn’t do some things on the boards that I feel like we are better at that didn’t show. But we’ll shore that up and be ready for the rest of our schedule.” Despite a week that would serve as a reality check for most teams, Ryan is optimistic and is keeping perspective on a pair of losses to opponents that could very well have

Men’s Hockey

The Daily Cardinal

Coming off of its bye-week, the Wisconsin men’s hockey team (4-7-1 WCHA, 7-8-1 overall) is hoping that that time off will have the team in top shape as it prepares to welcome No. 1 Minnesota-Duluth (9-2-1, 11-32) to the Kohl Center this weekend. Head coach Mike Eaves used the Badgers week off from playing games as an excuse to push them last week in practice, and he said he was pleased with what he saw. “We felt as a coaching staff it was a productive week,” Eaves said. “We pushed each other in practice. We did a lot of competitive drills, we had high-tempo drills, and we covered a lot of details. So, I think we walk away from this week feeling good about ourselves.” “I think we’re a better team for the week we’ve had,” he added. The Bulldogs will be the third top-five ranked team to play at the Kohl Center this season. Wisconsin swept then-No. 5 North Dakota

in Madison in late October, and Minnesota was the top-ranked team in the nation when the Badgers split with the Gophers last month at home. After winning the national championship last season, Minnesota-Duluth stumbled out of the gates to a 1-3 start this season, but hasn’t lost since falling 5-4 to Minnesota Oct. 15—a 12-game unbeaten stretch in which the Bulldogs have a record of 10-0-2. Eaves led the Badgers to a national title in 2006, and he knows that defending champions face added pressure the season after a championship, but said the Bulldogs’ national championship experience will serve them well. “They talk about championship hangovers,” Eaves said. “There is a mental state that you go through; you’ve won; it’s a new season; I think you get caught up in listening to everybody tell you what a great job you did but now it’s a new start. Maybe [Duluth’s]

Mark Kauzlarich/cardinal file photo

Jake McCabe—who has been out with a hand injury since the end of October—is nearing a return to the Badgers’ lineup.

slow start was part of that, but they’ve played better of late.” “They’ve got a lot of pieces. They know internally what it takes to win a championship, and that is a precious commodity to have within a locker room.”

McCabe close to return

Eaves said freshman defenseman Jake McCabe is nearing a return to the lineup. McCabe has been out since suffering a severed tendon in his finger during the North Dakota series. Eaves said McCabe was able to take full practice on Friday and Saturday and that he will be further evaluated in practice this week but that it will take some time for McCabe to fully readjust to the game. “I don’t think anybody truly knows where Jake is going to be when he comes back,” Eaves said. “He was just starting to come on and understand the college game when he got hurt.” “In terms of where he is at that first game back, you’d probably think that he’s going to be a little step behind because he’s not used to the pace, but we need him to get in there and start going.” McCabe was paired with junior defenseman Justin Schultz on the blue line before his injury, but Eaves said the pair won’t be reunited right away as he has liked what he has seen from junior defenseman Frankie Simonelli on the top defensive unit with Schultz since McCabe went out. “They’ve grown a good chemistry together, and they are feeding off of each other a little bit,” Eaves said of Simonelli and Schultz. “We don’t have to rush Jake McCabe back in with Schultz; we can afford to leave Frank in there and see how Jake does and go from there.”

teams last week.” The Badgers have a chance to rebound this week as they play two home games against in-state rival UW-Green Bay (4-4) as well as UNLV (8-1).

Mark Kauzlarich/cardinal file photo

Offensive-minded point guard Ben Brust is working to improve his defensive game before the Badgers begin conference play.

basketball from page 8

UW to face off with No. 1 Bulldogs By Ryan Evans

Final Four-caliber seasons. “We just played two very good teams,” Ryan said. “If you look at what Marquette did by beating a good Ole Miss team by 30. We played some great

attempt, which was rebounded by Rochel to secure the win. “I think we did a pretty good job,” Kelsey said of the defensive play on the last couple of possessions. “I think they had one clean look and didn’t knock it down. At the end, we just switched [on] every screen.” Wisconsin shot just 6-of24 (25 percent) in the first half and was outrebounded 28-16, including 11-1 on the offensive boards. Jones finished with 16 rebounds for the Billikens. The Badgers only put up 17 points in the messy first half, the seventh fewest in team history, and found themselves down five points at the break. “We worked on it in practice, boxing out and turning the correct way,” Kelsey said. “It’s a little disheartening to know we worked on [rebounding] and we just didn’t execute it.” The Badgers came out a

heisman from page 8 ence and exposure helped cap off a late-season surge for the UW star’s candidacy. “Going into that game, I knew I had to have a great game just to get [the team] a win,” Ball said. “But, you know, I wanted to make it to New York so I knew I had to put some numbers up and come out with a win.” The announcement adds to an already-busy week for Ball. He will be in Orlando, Fla. Wednesday for the announcement of the Doak Walker Award, given annually to the nation’s top running back. He is one of three candidates. Both he and Alabama running back Trent Richardson will then head to New York, where the Heisman will be announced Saturday at 7 p.m. central time.

completely different team in the second half, hitting 13-of22 shots and proved to be much more successful at driving to the hoop. “They did a much better job of going inside in the second half and they exploited the size differential,” Billikens’ head coach Shimmy GrayMiller said of Wisconsin. “Their post players are bigger than ours and very skilled.” The team’s ability to recover so strongly in the home victory especially pleased Kelsey, who notched her second career victory at the Kohl Center. “That’s the one thing about this group that I really like and enjoy coaching,” she said. “When I’m getting on them and things aren’t going well, they stick together.” The Badgers head to the road on Thursday as they play the 7-1 Kansas Jayhawks as part of the Big 12/Big Ten Challenge. Tipoff is scheduled for 7 p.m. The other three finalists are Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III, Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck and Louisiana State safety Tyrann Mathieu. The busy schedule comes as his teammates have the week off. However, Ball said the break before bowl preparation has allowed himself some time for reflection. “It’s that time where it’s all finally sinking in, and I honestly just don’t know what to say,” Ball said. Ball is likely a long shot to win the award—Griffin has become a front-runner of sorts in recent weeks—but the humble running back said he will enjoy the trip regardless. “If I don’t win it I’ll honestly be perfectly fine,” Ball said. “It’s just a great feeling right now.


Tuesday December 6, 2011

Women’s Basketball


Badgers edge St. Louis By Ryan Hill The Daily Cardinal

The Wisconsin women’s basketball team (4-5 overall) overcame poor shooting and rebounding efforts in the first half against St. Louis (2-6) but came back and managed to hang onto a 48-46

victory at the Kohl Center. Senior forward Ashley Thomas provided a breakout performance, finishing with 14 points and seven rebounds, both of which were career highs. “That was a close one, and we pulled it out,” head coach Bobbie

Mark Kauzlarich/the daily cardinal

Ashley Thomas had a breakout game against the Billikens with 14 points and seven rebounds, which were both career highs.

Kelsey said, whose team committed a season-low 12 turnovers. “It very easily could have gone the opposite way. But we’re happy.” “I’ll definitely credit my teammates for giving me the ball when I was open,” Thomas said. “And a big thing for me is just trying to slow down before making my moves, so I just tried to do that.” The Badgers led by seven points, their largest margin in the game, with just 5:08 remaining, but the Billikens battled back. A basket by sophomore forward Lorreal Jones with 1:11 remaining in the game cut the Badgers’ lead to two at 48-46, but Wisconsin held strong defensively the rest of the way to preserve the comeback win. St. Louis missed a jump shot with 32 seconds remaining and missed the front end of a oneand-one with 31 seconds left. UW sophomore forward Cassie Rochel—who finished with eight points off the bench—missed a free throw with 21 seconds left and allowed the Billikens one last possession to potentially win the game, but junior guard Jacy Bradley air balled an off-balance three-point attempt with four seconds left. UW junior guard Taylor Wurtz rebounded the shot and was fouled, then missed her

basketball page 7

Lorenzo Zemella/the daily cardinal

Montee Ball’s dominating season earned him a trip to New York City for the Heisman Trophy ceremony this Saturday.

Ball named finalist for Heisman Trophy By Parker Gabriel The Daily Cardinal

Most people don’t like to have their birthday plans interrupted. Montee Ball didn’t complain Monday evening. The junior running back— in the midst of one of the best individual seasons in school history—was named a finalist for the Heisman Trophy, the most prestigious award in college football. “It’s one prestigious trophy; the trophy that all players want to get,” Ball said. “It’s just an honor to make it [as a finalist]. It’s just a

great feeling right now.” The Wentzville, Mo. native leads the nation in rushing yards (1,759) and touchdowns (38). He is one touchdown shy of tying Barry Sanders’ all-time NCAA singleseason record of 39. Saturday, in a 42-39 win over Michigan State in the Big Ten Championship Game, Ball rushed for 137 yards and three scores and added a receiving touchdown and a 32-yard completion to his final stat line. The national audi-

heisman page 7

The Daily Cardinal - Tuesday, December 6, 2011  

The Daily Cardinal - Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Daily Cardinal - Tuesday, December 6, 2011  

The Daily Cardinal - Tuesday, December 6, 2011