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Wisconsin’s high court should not meddle with contraception case OPINION



University of Wisconsin-Madison


Band releases 28 minutes of energetic, dance-friendly music ARTS Complete campus coverage since 1892




Geology dept. opens new 3-D imaging facility

One unseasonable season

By Amanda Hoffstrom THE DAILY CARDINAL


Students shiver on their way to class on University Avenue during a chilly spring rain that eventually turned to snow. Temperatures should reach the 60s later in the week, but more rain is expected.

Sixth chancellor might leave UW System By Charles Brace THE DAILY CARDINAL

The University of WisconsinOshkosh chancellor stated Monday he is a finalist for another position in Pennsylvania, making him the sixth possible UW System chancellor to leave his or her position in one year. Chancellor Richard Wells said in an e-mail to students and staff at UW-Oshkosh he is one of three candidates for a chancellor position at the Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education. “I regret any distractions that this news may cause,” Wells said. Two chancellors are retiring in the UW-System, but three have left or are leaving for other positions. Jeanette De Diemar, a UWOshkosh spokesperson, said she could not comment on the announcement and Wells would be unavailable due to traveling obligations. Kenn Marshall, spokesperson

for PASSHE, said the final choice could be announced as soon as next week. The hired candidate will take over the position in July. Wells, if chosen, would oversee 14 campuses and about 110,000 students. The previous PASSHE chancellor received a salary of $327,718, Marshall said. Wells’ current salary is closer to $200,000, though the Board of Regents voted to increase chancellor salary ranges in February, according to the Board’s website. UW System spokesperson David Giroux said he has not spoken to Wells or discussed his reasoning for considering the position. Giroux said it is not surprising rival schools recruit many administrators in the UW System. He said even when the UW System could offer competitive salaries, other schools could also often give lucrative retirement or benefit packages in contracts.

“It’s often difficult for people to think of higher education as a competitive industry,” Giroux said. “We are dealing with a finite pool of qualified people and a … very aggressive marketplace.” He said the UW System has not conducted five simultaneous chancellor searches in the past. Martha Saunders, current president of the University of Southern Mississippi and chancellor of University of WisconsinWhitewater until May 2007, said money is not necessarily the main factor in deciding to leave a school. She said she left UW-Whitewater because she graduated from USM and wanted to help the community after Hurricane Katrina. However, she said the international reputation of the UW System was one of the main reasons she worked at UW-Whitewater, even if it paid less than a comparable position elsewhere.

Poll says no clear favorite for presidential race in Wisconsin By Kate Krantz-Odendahl THE DAILY CARDINAL

A Monday poll shows the 2008 presidential race remains close in Wisconsin, though residents view the Democratic Party as better at handling important national issues. The UW-Madison Survey Center poll showed U.S. Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., leading with 48 percent compared to U.S. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., at 41 percent. McCain at 47 percent would win over U.S. Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., at 44 percent, but both scenarios are within the poll’s 4 percent margin of error.

UW-Madison political science professor Katherine Walsh said the margin of error in these statistics shows there is no leading candidate in the state. The poll also indicated the differing favorability ratings of the candidates dating from June 2007 to the present. Clinton’s has remained fairly constant, currently at negative 7 percent, whereas McCain’s has more than tripled to 20 percent and Obama’s has been cut in half to 10 percent. There are several explanations for the decrease in Obama’s favorability rating, according to Walsh. “Because no one’s battling

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

[McCain] directly, maybe the gut reaction to him right now is generally positive compared to the Democratic candidates,” Walsh said. UW-Madison law and political science professor Charles Franklin said Obama’s drop in favorability had less to do with the ongoing primary contests between the Democratic candidates than it did with previous supporters finding out about his policies. The poll also indicates the public believes Democrats would do a better job with national issues such as the economy, foreign relations, Iraq and corruption in Washington D.C. poll page 3

New technology in Weeks Hall, home to UW-Madison’s geology and geophysics department, allows students to see 3-D images of the earth. “One of the things that geologists do as part of their research in understanding the earth is we have to be able to imagine what’s going on below the land’s surface in three dimensions,” Jean Bahr, geology and geophysics department chair, said. “We’re planning to use this both for research and educational purposes, and to train students to think about things in three dimensions.” Bahr said the Halliburton Geoscience Visualization Center was inaugurated last week and

will be used in courses at all levels. UW-Madison geology professor Harold Tobin said the images are viewed through special polarized glasses. “The planet has complicated three-dimensional structures and shapes within it that are harder to see by making a picture that looks like perspective 3-D,” Tobin said. “Making [the image] three-dimensional in the way your mind views it means that you get a much greater appreciation for all those complex relationships.” According to Tobin, the lab is not the first visualization system to display stereo graphics at the university. “Ours is really state-of-the-art geology page 3

Campaign finance reform advocates call for action Detractors cite first amendment, taxpayer issues in response By Britney Tripp THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Wisconsin system of elections is in need of major legislative changes, according to campaign finance reform advocates at a panel on campus Monday. The government watchdog group Common Cause in Wisconsin held a debate that included several lawmakers and activists on both sides of the issue. The panel discussed a campaign finance reform bill that stalled in the Legislature that would require private interest groups to disclose campaign financing. Jay Heck, executive director of CCW, said the 2006 gubernatorial race between former U.S. Rep. Mark Green, R-Wis., and Gov. Jim Doyle was the most costly election in Wisconsin history, with more than 33 percent of campaign dollars spent by private groups, which are not required to disclose campaign financing. Heck said there is still an opportunity to hold a special session for campaign finance reform, as Gov. Jim Doyle called for one last November, but he did not say if it is likely to be voted on. State Sen. Mike Ellis, R-

Neenah, a co-author of the bill, said the current system gives less power to individuals and more to special interest groups. “When you dump tens of millions of dollars into the election [to private interest groups], what you are really doing is suffocatreform page 3


State Sen. Mike Ellis, R-Neenah, said significant campaign finance reform is needed to protect the integrity of Wisconsin elections.

“…the great state University of Wisconsin should ever encourage that continual and fearless sifting and winnowing by which alone the truth can be found.”

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

An independent student newspaper, serving the University of Wisconsin-Madison community since 1892

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Keaton gives advice from bottom of heart

Volume 117, Issue 136

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KEATON MILLER miller’s genuine drafts


e’re getting down to the end of the year and, needless to say, I’m waxing philosophical. As spring flowers bloom and my college career comes to a close, it’s natural to look back upon the past four years and consider everything that’s happened, and then start screaming when I realize I don’t have a job yet and might have to stop drinking six nights out of every week. And so I’m looking back, and I’m thinking, “How can I help others?” What single piece of advice would I give to those that are about to enter the collegiate world? I guess college starts not on the first day that you arrive at the dorms, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but in high school, where you develop all of your preconceptions and expectations about college life. You watch movies and see frat parties filled with drunk

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men and easy women. You read about undergraduates making important scientific discoveries, and you watch news reports about Halloween riots in a little town called Madison. Of course, when you step out of the car and into the dorm room, all of those notions become bunk. You’re not going to cure cancer as a sophomore. You’re not going to score with all of those chicks—even if you become a World Famous Humor Columnist. Instead, you’re going to have a creepy roommate (mine was a senior and introduced himself as a huge fan of the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”) and stumble around campus trying hard to fit in. You know, just like high school. Things settle down and no matter who you are, you start having some of the stereotypical experiences—but not all of them. Everyone ends up leaving with a list of things they wish they had done. I haven’t had sex in the Memorial Library stacks. I haven’t mapped the tunnels under Bascom. I haven’t built my successor to the famed Octabong: the Dodecadecathabong (beer, platonic solids and athletics in one device—

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how could it go wrong?!). There are experiences I did have. I made some wonderful friends and hilarity has, in fact, ensued. Although I haven’t cured cancer, I’m sure my work on the economics of World of Warcraft will be remembered as a seminal work in the American Journal of Useless Shit. And I managed to use my position as a World Famous Humor Columnist to meet a girl at a party—and demonstrate that I’m as awkward in person as I am in print. Finally, however, there are experiences that I never wanted to have, but did. Some sad—like discovering you can’t attend your grandfather’s funeral thanks to three midterms and unkind professors—and some disturbing. Let me set the scene. It’s two in the morning. I’m returning home from a party, slightly tipsy, and I happen to see my roommate’s door is hanging wide open. This means one of three things: he is sleeping and he left the door open and I should shut it, he is awake and I can chat with him for a bit or he’s gone. I enter the room and see a leg. This does not surprise me—he sleeps

in the buff and I’m used to the sight. I see another leg, and then two more. And some chains. And some whipped cream. And some Beanie Babies. I blink, bleary eyed. Am I seeing double? No. I’m seeing two people. Intertwined. Exploring the detailed nuances of the word “intercourse.” I back out, scarred for life. My point is that everyone gets a unique set of experiences. Sure, you’ll have a grab-bag of the stereotypes. But you’ll also get a bunch of things that you can call uniquely your own. So my advice—no matter how insightful into my OWN life—can’t ever be that helpful to anyone else. But I won’t give up. There is one thing that will always be constant—a piece of advice given to me by my friend Sam, which has served me time and again: Never, NEVER go ass-to-mouth. Keaton believes that the first page of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” should have a large warning. It’s OK to read the book. Just don’t tell everyone you meet that you have done so. Send him some senior love at

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

And the winner is...

MADISON IN BRIEF Search engine Google to open office downtown Search engine mogul Google will open an engineering office in downtown Madison this fall, representatives said Monday. “We are opening an office in Madison because the city offers an excellent quality of life, a deep local talent pool and commitment to education at all levels, including the University of Wisconsin,” Google representatives said in a statement. The new office will primarily be used for hardware and software systems design. Google said they have been operating at a temporary office downtown since September 2007. Google’s announcement came just days after Microsoft announced plans to open a laboratory in downtown Madison. On Wednesday, Microsoft Corporation revealed a partnership with UW-Madison’s computer science department to open a downtown laboratory this spring. Although the Jim Gray Microsoft Lab will give computer science graduate students the opportunity to conduct research at the facility, the Google office will not have official ties to UW-Madison.

Woman assaulted, robbed on Johnson St. A woman walking on West Johnson Street in the early hours of Saturday morning was the victim of a robbery after the perpetrator struck her in the face and fled with her purse. According to a police report, the 19year-old female victim was walking at the 400 block of West Johnson Street just after midnight when a man emerged from between two buildings. The victim said the man punched her in the face, threatened her and demanded her purse. The woman then surrendered her purse to the perpetrator, who then jumped into a car described by a witness as an older model green Oldsmobile, police said. Police described the perpetrator as a black male, 5'7" with a medium build. He was last seen wearing dark jeans and a black bandana tied around his face. Police said the victim was in pain but did not sustain any major injuries from the attack.

Man with knife scares Angelic Brewery patrons Madison Police arrested a Minnesota man for an alleged weapons violation early Sunday after several witnesses at Angelic Brewery reported seeing the man with a knife. Police arrived at the establishment, located at 322 W. Johnson St., around 12:45 a.m. Witnesses said they saw a man pull out a knife during a dispute over waiting in line to enter the brewery. According to a police report, 26-year-old Matthew F. Thorson of Bloomington, Minn. was carrying a nine-inch folding knife wrapped in a black leather sheath in the front pocket of his pants. Several patrons who witnessed the incident said they became frightened and left the establishment after Thorson entered, according to police. Thorson admitted to police that pulling the knife out was “not a smart thing to do.” Police arrested Thorson and tentatively charged him with carrying a concealed weapon.


UW-Madison students Matt Pesko (left) and Jeffrey Wright (right) receive awards Monday at the Chancellor’s Undergraduate Award Ceremony.

UW faculty salaries remain lackluster when compared to peers, report says By Solly Kane THE DAILY CARDINAL

A Monday report by the American Association of University Professors found UW faculty salaries trail national rates. Jill Malak, communications representative for the Wisconsin chapter of the American Federation of Teachers, said the report is not surprising and shows a trend seen in the past several years. AFT-Wisconsin is advocating collective bargaining rights for UW faculty and academic staff to give them a “voice at the table” to promote their agenda and increase salaries, according to Malak. A bill for collective bargaining rights in the most recent legislative session passed the state Senate before stalling in the Colleges and Universities Committee in the state Assembly. State Rep. Steve Nass, R-Whitewater, chairs the committee and is opposed to collective bargaining, according to his spokesperson Mike Mikalsen. Mikalsen said total compensation is a more appropriate measure than salary because UW faculty receive other benefits like the state retirement plan and health insurance. He also said collective bargaining would not change faculty salaries, which

are decided by the Board of Regents. “The Legislature always gets blamed for it, but the reality is the place that people need to go back and look at is the Board of Regents and UW System, looking at how they … divvy up tuition and the state dollars for salaries,” Mikalsen said. UW-Madison professor Clifton Conrad in the department of educational leadership and policy analysis said the salary rates show a declining commitment to educational quality. “I do think we need to raise salaries, but that means that the state Legislature has to bear some responsibility along with faculty,” Conrad said. “I think we have to make a choice and quit pretending that we are a public university if the Legislature isn’t maintaining fidelity of what a public university is, which includes teaching.” Conrad also said he thought most UW-Madison faculty would be opposed to collective bargaining because it might restrict their independence. However, Malak said she is optimistic the Legislature will reconsider collective bargaining in the next session. “We are hopeful that there are enough enlightened legislators out there who realize that this is just a basic human right that continues to be denied,” she said.

History professor receives alumni outreach award By Shira Nanus THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Wisconsin Alumni Association has selected UW-Madison history professor Jeremi Suri as the 2008 recipient of the Ken and Linda Ciriacks Faculty Outreach Excellence Award. The annual award recognizes UWMadison faculty who support the Wisconsin Idea and WAA through outreach programs to alumni. “Outreach is about our taking ideas out to others, but also about us listening to what others have to say and bringing their ideas back to campus. It’s a two-way street,” Suri said. Suri has been involved with the WAA for four years and was chosen among 100 faculty and staff who partake in some sort of outreach for the association. “This year, Jeremi emerged as a clear winner,” WAA spokesperson Kate Dixon

said. “He’s got this exciting way of looking at history and he really has taken that Wisconsin Idea beyond the state.” Suri is the author of three books and in 2007 was named among Smithsonian Magazine’s “37 Under 36: America’s Young Innovators in the Arts and Sciences.” He is currently teaching his second online alumni learning course and has been a featured speaker at UW-Madison alumni events in Wisconsin and nationwide. “We have on campus people who are doing amazing teaching,” Suri said. “We have the chance to make what we do relevant to the larger state and the larger nation.” The $2,500 award is partially named for Ken Ciriacks, a 1958 UW-Madison graduate who was one of the most active alumni in WAA history. Suri will be honored with the $2,500 award May 1 at a Founders’ Day event hosted by the WAA Chicago Chapter.




geology from page 1 graphics, and I’m pretty sure the most advanced facility of its kind at UW-Madison.” The facility was created in partnership with Landmark Graphics, a Halliburton Corporation subsidiary. Bahr said the company provided the technology, which is similar to what is used in the petroleum industry. “A lot of geologists go to work in the oil industry,” Bahr said. “I think they see it as an opportunity to get state of the art equipment into universities so students coming out of universities will have used some of the tools that they might use in their future careers.” Tobin said alumni connections were key to the partnership because Halliburton CEO David Lesar is a UW-Madison alumnus. Gene Minnich, Landmark’s director of global operations, said in a statement UW-Madison’s facility was better “than many companies’ in the industry.” “For us it’s a fantastic boon because it’s a donation of the facility itself, it’s not a research project or a grant to do some particular study,” Tobin said.

reform from page 1 ing the five-dollar donation, you are suffocating the people,” Ellis said. Ellis said when a candidate exceeds the campaign spending limit, the bill would require matching funds for the opponent for anything over the limit. Christian Schneider, fellow at the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute, said he is skeptical of campaign finance reform since it interferes with the constitutional freedom of speech. According to Ellis, campaign finance reform is not a freedom of speech issue because the framework of a campaign mandates certain rules. Schneider also said the bill, which would gain some of its funding from taxpayers, would cause citizens who already dislike negative advertisements to essentially pay for them. State Sen. Jon Erpenbach, DMiddleton, said private groups can be involved in campaigns, but they should disclose their funding. Bryon Eagon, UW-Madison sophomore and supporter of the bill, said students should get involved by advocating for a “clean” government, whether by raising issues to the public or volunteering in campaigns.

poll from page 1 “What we’re seeing reflected in the polls is a sense that the Republicans have had eight years to deal with these things that the public is largely dissatisfied with, both here in the state and nationally,” Franklin said. However, Walsh said these figures still do not ensure a Democratic victory. “If John McCain can portray himself as strong on those issues then it won’t necessarily matter so much if people see the Republicans as not doing as well as the Democrats,” Walsh said. “Part of that is distancing himself from the president, which he really hasn’t done to date.”

opinion 4


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

view Cardinal View editorials represent The Daily Cardinal’s organizational opinion. Each editorial is crafted independent of news coverage.


no merit to noesen appeal

ix years after refusing to fill or transfer the birth control prescription of UWStout student Amanda Phiede, pharmacist Neil T. Noesen wants the Wisconsin Supreme Court to hear his appeal of court-ordered punishments. The case pits religious beliefs against professional duties: Noesen maintains that he should not be obligated to dispense medications prohibited by his religion, arguing that this violates his state constitutional rights, or “right of conscience,” to religiously oppose birth control.

The seven justices charged with selecting cases for review should reject the appeal.

The state Pharmacy Examining Board, Barron County Circuit Court and 3rd District Court of Appeals disagree. In March, the appellate court affirmed the legality of the board’s ruling to limit Noesen’s license and require him to take an ethics course. The Wisconsin Supreme Court has discretion over the cases it hears, and this one should not make it to the floor. The seven justices charged with selecting cases for review should affirm the lower courts’ decisions by rejecting the appeal and leaving Noesen with the punishment his actions warranted. When Noesen allowed his

personal beliefs to infringe on Phiede’s right to purchase physician-approved contraception, he violated an ethical imperative to provide care. Noesen stonewalled the patient’s efforts to procure birth control for two full days—he not only refused to fill the prescription but also prevented the prescription’s transfer—forcing Phiede to miss a dose and face an increased risk of pregnancy. Noesen’s decision was reckless and unlawful. Wisconsin law prohibits pharmacists from refusing treatment on moral grounds. As the appellate ruling aptly noted, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one’s religious beliefs do not exempt compliance with otherwise valid laws forbidding conduct that is within the state’s legal purview. Had Noesen retained full rights as a pharmacist, he would be an enduring threat to patients seeking contraceptives. Despite its reputation, birth control is not a recreational drug used solely for promiscuous sex. Birth control meets legitimate health needs: Physicians prescribe it for non-contraceptive medical issues such as severe acne, extreme menstrual cramps and irregular periods. Noesen pried into Phiede’s private medical decisions when he inquired her purpose for the prescription and had no right to subsequently judge her lifestyle by denying care. Noesen clearly stood in violation of the law by repeatedly putting his religious beliefs ahead of his professional duties. The appellate decision must stand.




OPINION COLUMNIST. To enter the running, submit three 550-word sample columns to by Friday, May 16, 2008.


Harsher penalties will lower drunken driving EMILY HOUTLER opinion columnist


while back, state leaders decided Wisconsin needed a new state slogan. It seems the title of “The Dairy State” had been usurped by California (damn your happy cows) and probably was not that great for tourism in the first place. One suggestion was “Come for the cheese and brats, stay for the world class UW heart clinic.” The final conclusion was: “Wisconsin: Life’s so good.” I have a better suggestion, one that Wisconsinites have been embracing for years: “Wisconsin: Welcome drunk drivers!”

Harsher rules and penalties need to be created and enforced so Wisconsin can be a better state.

Wisconsin can now officially claim that it has the worst drunken driving rates in the United States. A recent study by the Department of Health and Human Services discovered that more than a quarter of drivers in Wisconsin reported driving drunk in the past year. That is thousands of incapacitated drivers passing you on the roadway every year. This is a horrific national record to hold. The state of Wisconsin and its residents need to reverse this frightening

and perilous trend. One particularly disturbing aspect of this study was the fact that since people admitted to driving drunk, they must have also known they were drunk when they got behind the wheel. Despite the numerous alcohol and police commercials reminding drivers to drink responsibly, the message obviously has not been received by many drinkers. Although fellow drinkers have some responsibility to prevent drunken driving, these people cannot solve this state crisis. It is time for the state to step up and create stricter restrictions and penalties for drunken driving. People in Wisconsin can be convicted of seven drunken driving offenses and still be out on the streets. Of course, they will be hit with a heavy fine and possible license revocation, but jail time is not a requirement. License or not, a convicted drunken driver could possibly be behind the wheel again moments after leaving the police station. Drunken drivers often only get jail time if their unsavory activities end in damage, injury or death. The public should not have to wait for property or a fellow human being to be harmed before a threat to its safety is put away. It should be noted that everyone makes mistakes. However, endangering every other individual on the road is completely different than forgetting to pay for a pack of gum. The current law in Wisconsin states that a first time drunken driving conviction results in a fine under $350 and no jail time. This is unacceptable. A steeper punishment is needed to discourage others from driving drunk

and a first time offender from considering such a bone-headed move ever again. Jail time of at least seven days should be required for first-time offenders. This not only keeps them off the road but also sends a message about how criminals like them are treated. A second offense should require at least six months in jail, a punishment currently reserved for repeat offenders of five times or more. In addition, fines should be raised exponentially. Drunken driving should be utterly unappealing as well as extremely cumbersome.

People in Wisconsin can be convicted of their seventh drunken driving offense and still be out on the streets.

Alcohol is involved in more than a third of all fatal traffic crashes. In 2006 alone, 722 people died as a direct result of drunken driving in Wisconsin. Chances are many readers know someone who has been taken at the hands of an intoxicated driver. It is high time Wisconsin quits sweeping this problem under the highway. Harsher rules and penalties need to be created and enforced so Wisconsin can become a safer and healthier state. Emily Houtler is a sophomore majoring in environmental science and math. We welcome your feedback. Please send responses to


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

BEN PETERSON ben caught stealing


Harold and Kumar’s second joint venture tokes up on too many old jokes PHOTO COURTESY WARNER BROS

Harold (Kal Penn) and Kumar (John Cho) light up for another round of pot-smoking shenanigans in “Escape from Guantanamo Bay.” Their high seems to have worn off, though, and the sequel crashes and burns. THE DAILY CARDINAL

Even audience members who hadn’t enjoyed a few “sandwiches” before their viewing of “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” could have fun with the pot-fueled quest for midnight munchies. It was an underappreciated, vulgar comedy with genuine characters and a refreshingly progressive approach to race in lowbrow cinema. But cult favorites rarely survive the sequel treatment, as we discover in “Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay.” Without the aid of a big fat “sandwich,” audience members will likely be bored to tears by its contrived plot filled with recycled gags. “Guantanamo Bay” picks up where “White Castle” left off— with our ethnically diverse duo on a plane to Amsterdam and Harold (John Cho) hoping to reignite his brief fling with neighbor Maria (Paula Garcés). Ever obstructing his buddy’s designs and unable to delay toking up until they land, Kumar (Kal Penn) smuggles his smokeless bong aboard—a device air marshals onboard spot and assume is an explosive. Caught in a post-9/11 wave of xenophobia, the pair is thrown into the cus-

tody of Homeland Security, which ships the pair off to the titular Cuban prison. A narrow escape from the abusive guards of Guantanamo brings the pair to the coast of Florida, where they hope to beg, borrow and steal their way to Texas to crash the wedding of Kumar’s former girlfriend Vanessa (Danneel Harris) and use her new beau’s contacts in Washington to clear their names.

Despite the fact that the film’s story is ludicrously complex, it still manages to fall into a very predictable road trip.

The original title of this film was simply “Harold and Kumar Go to Amsterdam,” which implies that at some point the plot was a lot less convoluted and outlandish. The contrived story removes much of the first film’s simple charm, and Kumar’s former love life seems shoehorned into the script. However, despite the film’s ludicrously complex story, it still manages to fall into a very predict-


When it comes to music taste, everyone uses different buds

Up in smoke

By Mark Riechers


able road trip not unlike Harold and Kumar’s last outing—allowing ample opportunity for recycled jokes and sight gags. Fortunately, the film also reuses the comedic daring that Harold and Kumar employed in their last outing. The writers tackle racial issues in the current social climate with admirable comic bravado, mixing the dick and fart jokes with hard truths sugarcoated in stupid. However, a lot of this “groundbreaking” material is reused from the first film, diminishing any real insight it has. Not even the legendary Neil Patrick Harris can renew this warmed-over sequel with any hint of fresh material. The hard-drinking, hard-loving Harris reprises his cameo midway through the film, another recycled plot device that seems botched in the execution. The entire scene, though hilarious, seems ad-libbed, a testament to the acting prowess of the “How I Met Your Mother” star. In the end, audiences are left with a boring retread through a series of repeated gags that don’t hold up as well the second time around. The 10 minutes of laughs you’ll glean aren’t worth the 90 minutes you’ll have to suffer through.

hen music is discussed or written about, it usually boils down to an argument of whether it’s really good or really bad, since frankly it’s boring to discuss music that’s just so-so. But how do you really define “quality” in an art form where the bad is the most popular, the mediocre is the most ubiquitous and the good survives only in opposition to what it’s not? If that sentence didn’t make sense, don’t worry about it—chances are it’s not supposed to. What I’m here to explore is the hazy and totally indefinable question of what makes music alluring, objectionable or otherwise provocative. Let me start by laying down the one obvious ground rule: As much as I hate to admit it in a squabble over music, “good” is whatever you decide it is, and it’s completely subjective to taste. That’s exactly why I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. I like Fleetwood Mac, for instance, but I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it—if I did, then I wouldn’t truly like them. If you’re into music that most think is bad, revel in that fact; it will help you form unique tastes that aren’t manufactured by music merit factories like Pitchfork, Billboard or that friend of yours who’s always talking about music. When no one likes something I like, it only strengthens my convictions that I’m right and that others just don’t get it. For example, no one really likes the Vines anymore, and this makes my belief that they’re a bang-up psychedelic/ garage/pop band seem all the more relevant and infallible. In truth, I’m attracted to any piece of music that is widely considered atrocious, since there’s something undeniably compelling about an artist or album that manages to draw ire and cause the majority to recoil in distress. In the past this has led me to seek out such albums as Lou Reed’s hilariously annoying Metal Machine Music—a double album of literally nothing but offensive—layered guitar feedback, and

the Rolling Stones’ Their Satanic Majesties Request—Brian Jones’ muddy, druggy and vaguely brilliant answer to 1967. Sometimes this penchant of mine to explore infamously bad music leads me to uncharted regions of discomfort—like when I forced myself to endure Bruce Willis’ The Return of Bruno just for kicks, or made the mistake of thinking the Butthole Surfers’ nightmarish Locust Abortion Technician might actually be worth hearing. The reason I’m willing to put up with this sort of torturous experimentation is that “bad” often translates to “good” when you look through the magnifying glass of novelty, and I wouldn’t want to miss out. Besides, those artists who take a risk and end up making something mindnumbingly dreadful—rather than playing the pandering game of audience appeasement—are the coolest of them all, because they’re doing exactly what they want to do. What could be more rock ’n’ roll than that? Another important consideration is that for music to be legitimately aggravating, it has to be really popular, too. This is why the Eagles are by far the worst band of all time: They totally suck and they have the top selling album of all time, so there’s a lot to be repulsed by. The more something is loathsome as well as popular, the more appalling it becomes because it’s more in your face. On the other hand, not liking something just because it’s popular is simply misguided. For example, the whole issue with indie artists losing credit by “selling-out” and going to a major label is really a pile of nothing—it has no bearing on the music that the artist doesn’t want anyway, so deal with it. The White Stripes jumped to a major label and still rock, while Modest Mouse made that jump and became lame. It can go either way. Popularity and quality can have nothing to do with each other, or everything. It depends on whether you allow them to coexist with your definition of “quality,” and whether you form that definition based on mass opinion or autonomous judgment. If this column has only strengthened your conviction that the Eagles are great and that Ben just doesn’t get them, let him know at

TPC crams debut with energetic beats By Danny Marchewka

showcasing thought-provoking lyrics, driving beats and quirky guitar riffs. Canadian quartet Tokyo Police “Centennial” starts the album on a Club is “back” with their full length strong note, bringing back heavy drum debut, Elephant Shell, armed with beats and xylophone riffs placed at all an arsenal of new songs and full of the right times. Vocalist David Monks energy. is as strong as ever TPC made their and seems to have CD REVIEW way into the indie developed his singing voice compared scene in 2006 with to the yelping on the success of their TPC’s first EP. self-released EP, A Elephant Shell Lesson in Crime, a continues on with high energy, dancesingle-ready songs punk-packed 16 ,such as “In a Cave” minutes of songs. Elephant Shell and “Graves” that On their new Tokyo Police Club blend together and album, Elephant make the album feel Shell, the term “fulllength” is used loosely, considering it more like one long track than indihas a full eleven tracks that span only viduals. TPC keeps listeners elated, 28 minutes. Most bands need more despite such morbid lyrics in “Graves” than two and a half minutes to enter- as “Our hair tangled up in hers / tain the listener and convey their mes- Fingernails beneath the dirt / Sharing sage, but Tokyo Police Club doesn’t, all her blackened brains / Our blood


running through her veins.” After shocking those who pay attention to the words and not just the music, the band returns with the lively single “Tessellate.” Easily the track that feels most like their earlier work, “Tessellate” has everything great about TPC. From simple heavy drum beats and xylophone, to hand claps and solid lyrics such as “Trade our places in the night / We’re running barefoot you and I,” it’s hard not to dance. On “The Harrowing Adventures Of...,” TPC tries slowing things down for a change. String backgrounds and soft lyrics try to hold the track together, but the mid-CD placement breaks up the energetic tracks, making this a much better closer. However, TPC doesn’t waste time bringing back the dance in the next songs, “Nursery, Academy” and the ironically titled “Your English Is Good.” Clocking in at just under three


After dipping into the indie scene with A Lesson in Crime, Tokyo Police Club has pumped 11 energetic tracks into its impressive LP debut. minutes, “Listen To The Math” is a showcase of lyrical greatness. It is definitely possible that this is the only song ever written to mention a certain four million-year-old human species: “Australopithecine / Rekindle your heart / These hospital machines / Are

state of the art,” Monks sings, leading the listener to pick up a dictionary. There’s no doubt Tokyo Police Club will make a name for themselves on this impeccable debut. All of Elephant Shell’s 30 minutes will make a perfect addition to this year’s summer soundtrack.

comics 6


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Bends

Today’s Sudoku


By Ryan Matthes

© Puzzles by Pappocom

Mega Dude Squad

By Stephen Guzetta and Ryan Lynch

Solution, tips and computer program available at

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9.

Not counting how long it sits in your wallet.

Dwarfhead and Narwhal

By James Dietrich

The average shelf-life of a latex condom is about two years.

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

The Crackles

By Simon Dick

Have you seen Memento? It was pretty good.

Answer key available at HARD TO SWALLOW ACROSS

1 Take a quick gander 5 Moroccan capital 10 Christian in “Little Women’’ 14 ___ mater 15 Perfume attribute 16 King Harald V’s predecessor 17 Faux pas, of sorts 20 Indian stringed instrument 21 Cheap tires 22 New Zealand bird 25 “Andy Capp” cartoonist Smythe 26 Major network 29 Western defense org. 31 Outcome 36 Two pages 38 Recipe amts. 40 Not docked 41 Bristling with firepower 44 Prevent from entering 45 Ukraine’s capital 46 Small musical group 47 Amazed onlooker, e.g. 49 Part of a film 51 Fr. holy woman 52 Ashe Stadium necessity 54 Producer’s bane 56 Like loving couples, e.g.

61 German surrealist Max 65 Not the best way to live 68 Prefix with “magnetic’’ 69 Far from flighty 70 ___-eyed 71 Give olfactory offense 72 Card game authority 73 High spirit DOWN

1 Donner or Khyber 2 Noted first name in jazz 3 Arab potentate 4 Mattress stuffing 5 U.K. military fliers 6 Louvre affair? 7 Nobelist Niels 8 Alternate spelling of 3-Down 9 Reduce to rags 10 Dog treat 11 Plankton component 12 Extol 13 Party times 18 Chief Norse deity 19 Almond and orangeflower flavoring 23 Power unit 24 Comforting words 26 Overlays with metal 27 Topper of a Picasso 28 Dance to a Latin beat 30 Nerve type 32 Editor’s command 33 Exploiters

34 “___ Be” (Beatles) 35 Nevada resort site 37 An emotion 39 Storage locale 42 Soak 43 Beelzebub’s bailiwick 48 Go over old ground 50 Its structure may include feet 53 Five minutes after a quarter of 55 Text 56 In the distance 57 Family lineage diagram 58 Raced 59 Bad way to run 60 Memorable date in history 62 Void partner 63 Classical colonnade 64 At that time 66 Up to, colloquially 67 Horatian form

Classic Anthro-apology

Did you like it?


By Eric Wigdahl


Tuesday, April 29, 2008



Different strokes: UW finishes eighth Juniors lead golfers in Big Ten Championship By Jay Messar THE DAILY CARDINAL

The Wisconsin men’s golf team hit the links over the weekend at the Big Ten Men’s Golf Championship at Forest Akres West Golf Course in East Lansing, Mich., finishing in eighth place. The Badgers shot a 47-over par final tournament score of 1199 (296, 305, 302, 296), 10 strokes better than ninth-place Purdue. The host team, No. 25 Michigan State, shot 1173 to take the conference crown, with Minnesota finishing second, just four strokes behind the Spartans. Two Badger juniors, Tyler Obermueller and Dan Woltman, led the squad with dual 12-over par scores of 300, good enough to tie for 17th place overall. Obermueller began the championships tied for third place after posting a 1-under, 71 first-round score but struggled through his second round of the day. Obermueller’s 18th-hole triple bogey more than erased his sole birdie on the ninth in the second round. He finished the with a 79. Obermueller responded with a pair of 3-over rounds on Saturday and Sunday to put himself atop the Wisconsin leader board. Ranked No. 94 individually, Woltman answered disappointing opening rounds of 76 and 79 on Friday with rounds of 73 on Saturday and 72 on Sunday to tie

for the team’s best score. In his final round 72, Woltman‘s double bogey on the 16th hole undid gains made on the front nine—which included a trio of birdies and a bogey—and entered the final clubhouse with an even-par score. Junior Danny Zimmerman and senior Jeff Kaiser had solid outings for the Badgers all weekend, shooting nearly inversed stroke totals. Zimmerman finished tied for 22nd and posted scores of 74, 75, 78 and 75 for a net of 302, while Kaiser shot rounds of 75, 78, 76 and 74 for a 26th place overall score of 303. Junior Pat Duffy shot a second round 73 to put himself in a tie for twenty-fifth place after Friday’s two rounds. Duffy’s championship series unraveled in rounds three and four, as two double bogeys on the back nine added to a 9-over 81 Saturday and five straight bogeys capped off by a double bogey on the Obermueller seventh hole notched an 82 on Sunday. He finished in 46th place. Indiana’s Jorge Campillo secured individual laurels with a 5-under round of 67 Sunday, en route to a 10-under championship series of 278. The Badger golfers will take the next two weeks off to prepare for the NCAA regional competition May 15 at a course to be PHOTO COURTESY UWBADGERS.COM determined. Junior Dan Woltman fi nished 12-over par in the Big Ten Men’s Golf Championship, tied for best on the — team. The Badgers fi nished 26 strokes behind tournament winner Michigan State. contributed to this report.

Why should U?

Seems like anyone with a navel is trying to do classifieds these days. Why should you use 0.25 second page response time 60,000 real page views in 30 days* Verified advertiser identity ratings for each ad Automatic geo-location data reporting No registration needed to respond to ads

And when you need to post an ad, you’ll find your ad listed in Google® search results within just a few days of posting on our site. Which means, no other service can spread your message as fast as Any moron can do free. We make free pay. #1 at UW * 60,000 page views as counted by Google® Analytics

favre from page 8 responded that he usually didn’t go to that camp and would not miss it. But then Favre did his best Madame Cleo impersonation and remarked that later in the summer, as training camp neared, “Something was going to happen.” At that moment, many miles from the “Late Night” set, Aaron Rodgers either choked on whatever he was eating or wet his green and gold Zubaz. Minutes later, Letterman held up a copy of Madden 2009, which features Favre on the cover, and our hero once again rode off into the sunset ... sort of. Three days after Favre’s appearance on Letterman, ESPN interviewed him for their weekly “Sunday Conversation” feature. Suzy Kolber didn’t ask any questions about the video game, and, in typical Favre fashion, he avoided any controversy by saying he was “kinda’ sorta’ maybe happy with the difficult decision to retire that may or may not have been the right one, I don’t know.” Rodgers should seriously consider hiring a team of security guards to prevent some crazed Favre-loving, Cheesehead-wearing, shotguntoting lunatic from giving Favre even more incentive to return to Green Bay. Ted Thompson should seriously consider buying Favre his own private island to “go away for a few months.” And Favre should seriously con-

sider staying on his riding mower in Kiln, Miss., until the middle of September. If No. 4 stayed in Green Bay and threw interceptions until his arm fell off, it would have been fine with me. He earned that right with 16 unforgettable years. But since he walked away, he should stay away, if for no other reason than to keep Rodgers from suffering some sort of anxiety attack. He will never be remotely close to the quarterback Favre was, and to make matters worse Rodgers now has second-round draft pick Brian Brohm glaring at him in the rearview mirror. The last thing he needs is a future Hall of Famer saying, or at least implying, he could be back under center the moment Rodgers stubs his toe. I can’t blame Favre for being honest. I have enough trouble deciding between Cap n’ Crunch and Lucky Charms in the morning. I can’t image how difficult his decision must have been. To his credit, he’s still the candid quarterback he always was. He’s not going to lie and say he looks forward to clearing brush when he knows he could be throwing touchdown passes to Donald Driver. But as long as Favre is in the public eye, Packer fans will dream of a comeback, and Rodgers will have to find a good psychiatrist. If you think Aaron Rodgers should be more worried about Brian Brohm taking his starting job, e-mail him at

sports League tournaments treat Badgers poorly 8


Tuesday, April 29, 2008


After squeezing out a tight quarterfinal victory over Minnesota Friday, the No. 34 UW men’s tennis team lost 4-1 to No. 15 Illinois in a semifinal match Saturday at the Big Ten Tournament in Iowa City, Iowa. The No. 2 seeded Badgers defeated the Fighting Illini 5-2 March 30 during the regular season. However, Illinois (18-7) took two of three doubles matches for the opening doubles point and nabbed three of the first four singles contests to defeat the Badgers (17-9). The lone Badger victory came at the No. 3 singles slot, where Big Ten Freshman of the Year, Marek Michalicka, had dominated all season. Michalicka took down Marc Spicijaric of the Illini 7-5, 6-1 to push his overall record to 22-2 on the spring season. Senior Nolan Polley and sophomore Moritz Baumann, who were both named All-Big Ten earlier in the week, upset the 11th-ranked doubles pair in the country at the No. 1

doubles position. They knocked off Illinois’ Ryan Rowe and Billy Heiser 8-3. The win, however, was not enough to salvage the doubles point. Illinois was defeated 4-3 by No. 2 Ohio State, the tournament’s top seed, in Sunday’s championship match. In Friday’s quarterfinal match, the Badgers eked out a hardfought 4-3 victory over the Golden Gophers (7-17). With the score tied at 3-3, Badger senior Felipe Bellido clinched the match for UW with a 4-6, 6-2, 6-4 triumph over Minnesota’s Chi Pham at the No. 5 singles spot. The Lima, Peru, native pushed his overall record to 13-5 with the win. Bellido also scored a match-clinching victory on April 5 when the Badgers defeated Indiana 4-3 during the regular season in Bloomington. The Badgers will find out Tuesday afternoon if they have been selected to compete in the NCAA Tournament. UW is all but assured a bid after finishing in a tie for second in the conference during the regular season and becoming a mainstay in the national

rankings. The 64-team field will be announced live on ESPNews from 1-1:30 p.m. Tuesday. Women The No. 73 UW women’s tennis team was swept 4-0 by No. 30 Indiana Friday at the Big Ten Tournament in West Lafayette, Ind., one day after a 4-2 victory over No. 63 Michigan State. The No. 11-seeded Badgers (1014) were unable to score a victory in doubles and were taken down in all three of their singles matches against third-seeded Indiana (20-6). The Hoosiers’ Katya Zapadalova clinched the match with a 4-6, 7-5, 6-1 victory at the No. 2 singles slot over freshman Jessica Seyferth of the Badgers. On Thursday, the Badgers fell behind 2-1 to the six-seeded Spartans before rallying to win their next three singles matches. Seyferth clinched the victory with a 6-0, 2-6, 6-0 win at the No. 3 singles position over Manon Noe of Michigan State (12-13). Junior Elizabeth Carpenter and sophomore


Sophomore Moritz Baumann, who earned All-Big Ten honors this year, won both his singles and doubles matches against Minnesota Friday. Katya Mirnova also notched singles victories for UW. The Badgers also defeated the Spartans in the last match of the regular season, grinding out a 5-2 win on

April 20 in Madison. The women will also find out if they were selected to compete in the NCAA Tournament during Tuesday’s ESPNews broadcast.

Softball splits weekend series against Buckeyes RYAN RESZEL high reszel-ution


Wisconsin came back with some late inning heroics to beat Ohio State 4-3 in game two of its doubleheader at Goodman Softball Complex Saturday. With the game tied at three in the bottom of the seventh inning and runners on first and third with one out, junior third baseman Theresa Boruta hit a ground ball to sophomore shortstop Whitney Cooper. Cooper’s throw to first base was not in time, and freshman center fielder Jennifer Krueger, who was on third base, broke to the plate on the throw to first. The throw home beat Krueger, but the ball was dislodged on Krueger’s slide, making her safe at home and giving the Badgers a dramatic walkoff victory. Wisconsin (3-15 Big Ten, 15-38 overall) entered its final half-inning of the game down 3-1. Senior shortstop Lynn Anderson reached base safely, but sophomore right fielder Katie Soderberg was retired for the first out of the inning. That brought up light-hitting freshman second baseman Livi Abney. Abney entered the doubleheader batting .206 with one home run and six runs batted in. The unlikely hero, however, blasted a pitch over the fence to drive in Anderson and herself and tie the ball game. Sophomore Letty Olivarez pitched a complete game to earn her seventh victory of the season. She allowed 10 base runners, but was still able to limit the Buckeyes to three runs. Olivarez also struck out seven batters. Junior Kim Reeder took the loss in relief for Ohio State (6-12 Big Ten, 30-21 overall). Reeder surrendered five hits, three walks and three earned runs in two innings. The Badgers hit the ball well with 12 hits and got multi-hit games out of four players. Senior catcher Joey Daniels had three base hits, and Boruta, Olivarez and Abney all had two. It was a thrilling win for

Favre should stay on mower and off field


ll sports legends are supposed to exit the field in the same way. Like the heroes of old Westerns, they ride into the sunset after the final battle, their glory forever etched in the minds of their adoring fans. Former,—and I stress former— Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre seemed to mimic the stereotypical Hollywood exit when he tearfully announced his retirement during a press conference March 4. No one wanted to see the threetime MVP leave the game after a loss, and few expected he would depart after helping such a young and talented team reverse its fortunes. But Favre never did what was normal. That’s what made him great. He went out on his own terms, and that was that. Cue the sad fiddle music and the sunset.


As long as Favre is in the public eye, Packer fans will dream of a comeback, and Rogers will have to find a good psychiatrist.

Sophomore pitcher Letty Olivarez allowed three runs in seven innings of work while striking out seven against OSU Saturday. A late rally gave Wisconsin the win and Olivarez her seventh victory of the season. Wisconsin, but in game one of the twin bill it was the Buckeyes who overcame the deficit and came back in the final inning to win 6-3. Wisconsin had the Buckeyes down to their final out with a one-run lead and the bases loaded in the seventh inning. Sophomore first baseman Tory Haddad then hit a bases-clearing double off junior pitcher Leah Vanevenhoven, giving the Buckeyes a 5-3 lead.

The Badgers entered the final inning leading 3-0. Vanevenhoven, who has been prone to struggle with control at times, hit the leadoff batter, sophomore second baseman Rebecca Schultz. Vanevenhoven was able to induce a grounder for the first out of the inning, but then allowed a single to senior center fielder Liz Caputo and a walk to freshman pinch hitter Karisa Medrano. Sophomore catcher Sam Marder then drove in a run with a single,

and another hit batsmen made the score 3-2 when Haddad stepped to the plate. Ohio State added another run to take a three-run lead into the bottom half of the seventh. Wisconsin loaded the bases with one out, but a strikeout by junior first baseman Alexis Garcia and a groundout by Anderson ended the game. The loss officially eliminated the Badgers from qualifying for the Big Ten tournament.

Actually, cut the music. What is Favre doing on “Late Night with David Letterman”? The interview began innocently and awkwardly enough. Favre and Letterman talked about Favre’s family, partying the night before a college game and hunting on the day of a Green Bay game—the usual Favre topics. Letterman asked him about an upcoming mini-camp, and Favre favre page 7


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